Беседы и поучения

Conversation I. Conversation with spiritual children (after the all-night vigil) Congratulations on your holiday! God willing, we served the all-night vigil once again, perhaps for the last time, and perhaps not for the last. Maybe the Lord will lead us to gather together to pray someday. But one way or another, it is possible that we will have to separate and go in different directions. Maybe you will have the opportunity to see me and visit me in Kozelsk, although probably not so conveniently and not so often. But this is not particularly important. After all, what is a spiritual father needed for? - So that with its help you can walk unerringly and reach the Kingdom of Heaven. And for this it is necessary, mainly, to carry out the instructions, advice and instructions of the confessor in practice, and to conduct one’s life piously. There were examples that some had the opportunity to often visit the elder, constantly heard his instructions, even lived with him and, despite all this, remained barren. And others rarely had the opportunity to visit the elder and briefly hear the instruction, but they prospered... So, this is not the strength of visiting your spiritual father often, but of following his instructions so as not to be fruitless. And I ask you: try so that my miserable works do not perish. I consider it necessary to remind you that I have always paid special attention to a thorough confession. There is an instruction from St. Fathers and Bishop Ignatius (Brianchaninov) that sinful habits and passions cannot be healed without confession. Any healing will be incomplete and insufficient without confession, and with the help of confession they are conveniently eradicated. Therefore, I ask you to always pay special attention to confession, always carefully prepare for it and sincerely confess all your sins. And I always tried to slowly and carefully confess all of you, asking in detail about your sins, so that nothing would be left on your conscience. And if someone through foolishness has not confessed everything openly and sincerely, then let him confess so that his conscience does not remain defiled. There is nothing to be afraid of and one should not be ashamed of the confessor. The confessor knows all sins, he knows, because he has not one soul, but hundreds confess, and you will not surprise him with any sin, no matter how great and serious they are. On the contrary, every confessed grave sin arouses in me a special concern for the soul, and I have never changed and cannot change in my attitude towards it, no matter what sins it confessed; on the contrary, I worry about it even more, I worry, I care about its healing and salvation. Therefore, try not to hide anything, try to confess purely. A thorough confession is necessary, and with it good morality, a pious life, a life according to the commandments of God are also necessary. Try to have mental and physical purity, try after confession not to sin consciously, arbitrarily, not to sin in the hope of repentance: such a person is guilty of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. To deliberately sin with reckless hope in the grace of God and think: “Nothing, I’ll repent” - this is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. Be afraid of this and guard yourself from arbitrary sins. It is another thing to fearlessly, consciously sin and not repent, and another thing is when a person does not want to sin, cries, repents, asks for forgiveness, but due to human weakness he sins. After all, it is human nature to sin and fall. But one should not become discouraged and become excessively sad if one has to sin. But not repenting is characteristic only of demons. Therefore, it is necessary to repent. Try to improve, have good morals, and keep your conscience undefiled in all respects. If there is no good morality, it will be impossible to preserve the holy faith in purity. Therefore, I would like to draw your special attention to this. I ask you to live piously, so that no one and nothing, no circumstances, no sorrows can tear you away from the faith, and for this you must certainly pray, ask for God’s help to preserve your faith immaculate. Prayer is necessary, and I ask you: practice unfailingly and lazily in prayer. Follow your prayer rules. If for some reason it is impossible to fulfill the whole rule, then try to fulfill at least half of it... fulfill at least some part of it. Try not to go a single day without prayer. It is said in the monastic rules that whoever does not fulfill his rules, who does not read the first, third, sixth and ninth hours and the symbolic ones, should not eat and is dead in his soul before God. Stay engaged in prayer and know that if you give up prayer, if you omit the rule, you will imperceptibly reach such a state that even if you want to pray, even with a strong need, you will not be able to do so. Your soul would like to pray, but your heart is callous and cold, and you will stand there like a lump. Prayer asks for God's help and attracts God's blessing. A person will call for a blessing, and it will come to him. And vice versa, as it is said: “and he does not desire the blessing, and will depart from it” (Ps. 109:17). Try to ask for God's blessing through prayer, and God's blessing and help will come. Yes, that's it. Confession, piety or good morality and prayers are necessary in the salvation of the soul, but these are only leaves; it is necessary to bear the fruits of good deeds. And the fruits are the following: meekness, humility and love (Gal. 5:22, 23). “On whom will I look, only to him who is meek and silent and trembles at My words” (Isa. 66:2). “Learn from Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart,” and further it says: “and you will find rest for your souls” (Matthew 11:29). If you yield to each other, if you are pious, blameless in all the commandments of God, then your soul will be at peace, the peace of Christ will come to you, “peace that surpasses all understanding” (Phil. 4:7), and peace of mind will be such that you will no longer fear any evil. They often sing in church, and you have probably heard more than once: “The righteous will not fear from hearing evil” (Ps. 112:6, 7). If we are afraid, worried and embarrassed just hearing about the misfortunes that are about to come, about the coming disasters and evil, then our fear exposes us to the fact that we are far from righteous, but sinners and therefore must humble ourselves. If we have acquired meekness, we will be humble, if there is peace in our hearts, then this will also be fulfilled: “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35). Have love, yield to each other, do not quarrel, forgive, humble yourself one before the other, give honor to one another, please not yourselves, but your neighbors, always be in love. Everything that relates to the external conditions of our life is secondary. All this is not important, all this is thinner than a cobweb. The main thing is where I started and where I end. I pay attention, in fact, to your souls, the main thing is to save your soul. Try so that my miserable labors for the salvation of your souls are not in vain. Try, I repeat to you, to purify your souls through confession, to have good morals and piety. Acquire meekness, humility, prayer. Collect love. For the rest, in all the outward appearances of our lives, let us surrender to the will of God. For the will of God is always good and perfect, and not a single hair of your head will fall without the will of God (cf. Matt. 10:29, 30; Luke 21:18). I ask for your holy prayers, and I entrust you all to the protection of the Queen of Heaven. And don't cry for me. After all, I am a monk, I made a vow to endure all bitterness and reproach, reproach and expulsion, and if this comes true, if I endure, then it is proper to rejoice: this is how the rite of tonsure is carried out in practice, and there is no need to lose heart while you shed tears. It is said: “It is fitting to rejoice when you fall into various temptations” (cf. James 1:2). I remember when I was still Nikolai, Father Fr. Barsanuphius said the following prayerful words over me: “Lord! Save this Thy servant! Be his Helper! Protect him when he has neither shelter nor shelter.” Amen. June 15, 1924 Optina Pustyn Conversation II. Conversation on the day of the Holy Apostles Peter and Paul (at the all-night vigil) In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit! One servant of God once came to me and asked me to explain to her the meaning of the words of the 136th psalm “On the rivers of Babylon.” I promised her to fulfill her request, and then the idea came to me to say a few words to all of you on this topic, since this psalm is very suitable for us, monks, and especially now, when we are being expelled from the holy monastery. Our present sorrowful experience is very similar to the experience of the Jews, when they were deprived of their fatherland, their beloved Jerusalem, their holy church and led into captivity. The meaning and meaning of this psalm is suitable for us, for in it we hear sorrow and lamentation, similar to those that now fill our hearts. The psalm laments the fate of Jerusalem and the Jews. The Babylonian captivity was allowed to them because of their sins. And when they were led into captivity to Babylon, they, forced by the Babylonians leading them to sing, wept bitterly, remembering their fatherland, their glorious city of Jerusalem, their church: how good it was for them there, what good they were deprived of, happiness, freedom and convenience to serve the Lord. They mournfully exclaimed: “How can we sing the song of the Lord in a foreign land?.. Let my tongue cleave to my throat, if I forget you, Jerusalem” (Ps. 136:4, 6) - that is, if we seek other consolation besides you! We, monks, are experiencing a similar sorrow, a similar sadness at the present time: they are driving us out of monasteries, they want us to forget our monasteries, to leave the image of monastic life, to begin a different life, worldly, to neglect our monastic vows. But... no! Let our tongue also stick to our larynx if we forget our monastic vows, abandon serving the Lord, neglect His holy commandments and follow the broad path of this world in oblivion and sins. “Stick my tongue to my throat, lest I remember you, O Jerusalem.” May this not happen to us! Let us always invariably remember how good it was for us in the holy monasteries, in which the very environment, living conditions and, in general, everything aroused in us the desire to serve the Lord, to fulfill His holy commandments, encouraged us to keep our conscience, cleanse our hearts of passions, gave rise to good and pious feelings and thoughts, where everything disposed us to a godly life. Although now they are trying to take away from us all these conveniences for spiritual work, we will not forget our vows, we will not abandon our monastic life, we will strive to serve the Lord in diligent fulfillment of His holy commandments, even in a worldly setting. I notice that many of you are very sad about having to move to another place. I myself will have to leave here one of these days. It’s a pity to leave the monastery; you can’t help but feel sad. But although this sadness is completely natural and understandable, we should not forget that all this is external, and therefore is not of primary importance, that this is not at all what we should truly grieve about. Most importantly, in our present sorrow, we should not cry and grieve inconsolably, although we are scattered, separated, and forced to forcibly leave our holy abodes. After all, here, as in everything, there is the will of God, allowing us to endure this for our sins, and it is also said: “Blessed are you when... they separate you and revile you” (Matthew 5:11; Luke 6:22). There is nothing for us to grieve about, but we need to delve deeper into ourselves and carefully monitor our thoughts, feelings and cry about the passionate, sinful feelings, desires and thoughts that exist in us. We must certainly expel them, as not pleasing to God, and, having expelled them, we must not allow them into our hearts, for we cannot “sing the song of the Lord” in a passionate state. It is impossible for a passionate heart, an unpurified heart, to proclaim hymns of praise to God. What is appropriate for such a heart defiled by sins is not hymns of praise, but bitter repentant crying about one’s sinful, passionate state, crying about one’s sinful captivity and prayerful sighing to the Lord for help. It is necessary to cleanse your heart from all sinful filth, for only with a pure heart can you sing to God a “new song.” “Having endured the Lord,” in his struggle for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven, “and he listened to me and heard my prayer: and raised me from the pit of passions and from the clay of the mud and set my feet on the stones (of the faith of Christ) and straightened my steps,” that is, directed and confirmed in the doing of God’s holy commandments, “and put a new song in my mouth, singing to our God” (see Ps. 39:1–4). So, we must look at everything more deeply, from the spiritual side, for the Lord, according to the words of the Apostle, “wants everyone to be saved” (1 Tim. 2:4), and everything works for good to the one who loves God (cf. Rom. 8:28), everything serves as a means for salvation. That is, everything external, with the help of God and with your sincere desire, can be turned into your own good. The only evil is sin. And St. The Fathers, seeing a spiritual meaning in everything external, interpret this psalm this way: by the captivity of Babylon they meant the captivity of a person’s soul by sin, when a person is in captivity to sinful passions. “How can I sing the song of the Lord in foreign lands?” - so they exclaimed, calling the passionate state of the heart an alien land. It is impossible to theologize in a passionate state, to sing songs of praise to the Lord - you need to cry. You must first of all take care and try to cleanse the land of your heart from everything passionate, vicious, from all sinful thoughts and feelings by crying in repentance. “The accursed daughter of Babylon... blessed is he who hath, and shall dash thy babes against the stone” (Ps. 137:8, 9). Many are amazed at the seeming cruelty in these words, taking everything literally. True, in the Old Testament this is exactly how it was understood. But in Christ's new grace this is understood completely differently. Infants, as the Fathers explain, here refer to the passionate movements that arise at the very beginning of their occurrence, as soon as they are born, so to speak, in their infancy. You cannot let them grow, but while they are still small and have not strengthened, they must be destroyed - smashed against the Stone. And the Rock is Christ (see 1 Cor. 10:4). Strike in the name of Jesus, kill, destroy with the prayer of Jesus and in general with the means of the grace of Christ these infants of Babylon. This is the deep understanding of the words of this psalm that the saints left us. Fathers! I involuntarily remember here the dream of Father Fr. Barsanuphius, told to me personally by him. He saw himself in some church, standing high in the choir. Babies pass in front of him - in a row, one after another. He walks past him in the choir alone, falls and breaks on the floor. Another one passes through in exactly the same way, falls and breaks, and so does a third... and they all fall and break. One of them lingered near the priest, apparently wanting to attract his attention and sympathy, but the priest angrily shouted at him, and he fell from the choir and was killed. So in reality they were broken by Father Fr. Barsanuphius Babylonian Infants on the Stone. So he truly conquered spiritual passions by the power of Christ, by the name of Jesus: “Blessed is he who hath and dasheth thy little children against the Stone.” Evil thoughts and passionate movements did not linger in the priest’s heart - these babies of Babylon - they fell and were broken on the Stone. Likewise, we should never stop thinking: let them pass by. If they come, repel them with the Jesus Prayer. Let them not find sympathy for themselves in your hearts. Try to purify your hearts. This is why, as I have told you more than once, it is necessary, in addition to the Jesus Prayer, the memory of God, a thorough and frank confession. And I must note with regret that some of you not only do not reveal your shortcomings, but even deceive me, your spiritual father, lie to me. Until now I have not said this, I have not denounced it for reasons known to me, but now I am telling you that I see and notice how sometimes I am deceived, and this upsets me. You must have frankness and sincerity towards your confessor, and not guile. Try to thoroughly cleanse your hearts from everything unclean to God through a pleasing and frank confession, the Jesus Prayer and the fulfillment of God’s commandments, for only a cleansed heart can sing the song of the Lord. Another psalm (100th) comes to mind here, which is read at the first hour: “I will sing to You of mercy and judgment, O Lord...” (Ps. 100:1), for in that psalm one can also see the teaching about inner work and the Jesus Prayer. “I have slain all the sinners of the earth...” (Ps. 100:8). “In the morning,” that is, at the very beginning, at the very beginning, as soon as these “sinners of the earth” appear—passionate manifestations of our hearts, the “babies of Babylon”—we must “beat” them. The meaning of this psalm has already been explained to you a lot, but I can repeat it briefly. By singing to the Lord we mean a good life, an immaculate path, accomplished by fulfilling all the commandments of God. When a person lives immaculately in everything, when his only desire is to unite with the Lord in prayer and in spiritual life in general, he exclaims: “When will You, Lord, come to me?” (cf. Ps. 100:2). A person tests himself, looks after himself and sees that he is not involved in evil deeds, and asks the Lord to come to him. In the Jesus Prayer, in guarding the heart, in sobriety and attention, in mercy and spiritual reasoning, a person spends his life, does not allow himself to have an evil heart against anyone, does not direct the eyes of his heart on anything contrary to the Law of God, and avoids criminal acts out of hatred of sin and sinful thoughts and feelings. Sin is so disgusting to a person that he does not pay any attention to its manifestations in himself: the enemy came and wanted to tempt the servant of God to commit some kind of sin, but, not having succeeded in his intention, he left him. The servant of God did not enjoy the proposed sin, did not pay any attention to it, did not even know what kind of sin the enemy came with. “I have not known the evil one who turns away from me” (Ps. 100:5). A true servant of God expels from his heart every thought slandering his neighbor, does not allow himself condemnation, pride, envy, or gluttony. All the attention of the ascetic, who watches his heart, is turned “to the faithful lands” - to good thoughts and feelings approved by the faith of Christ, for they help to follow the immaculate path. He listens to good thoughts and feelings and rejects all evil, so that nothing proudly deceitful, sinful, lives in the middle of his spiritual home, in a word - “he slays in the morning all the sinful people of the earth, in order to destroy from the city of the Lord all those who practice iniquity.” “Workers of iniquity” is called every sin, for sin is lawlessness, and the “city of the Lord” is the soul, for the soul of man is intended for the Lord to dwell in it, as the Lord Himself said in the Holy Gospel: “Let us come to him and make our abode with him” (John 14:23). And the entry of the Lord into the soul of man is prepared by the expulsion of all sin from man. These are the thoughts that arise in the soul when delving into the meaning of this psalm. It talks about the inner life of a person who is already conquering passions, close to perfection, preparing his heart to receive the Lord. And in the psalm “On the Rivers of Babylon” it also speaks about the inner life, but of a person who has not yet been cleansed of passions, although he is aware of his sinful state, wants to free himself from it and therefore pleases those people who are already conquering the passions: “blessed is he who has and breaks his babies... on the Stone.” It is fitting for us, passionate, not yet cleansed of passions, still in captivity in Babylon, to cry over our sins and should try in the morning to beat the sinners of the land of our hearts, while they are still babies. Let us pray to the Lord about this, asking for His all-powerful help, and we will surrender everything else to the will of God. Let us pray to the Lord, may He help us work out our salvation and never forget our monastic vows... I ask you to pray for me, so that I can begin to live and carry out my correction at least a little. Peace and salvation to you! Amen. June 29, 1924, Saturday. Optina Pustyn. Conversation III. with spiritual children One day I opened my diary to the page where it was written how Father Fr. Barsanuphius told me: “One layman asked me: - Tell me, father, how should I live? I thought: what should I answer him, what short edification should I say? Then I say: – If you have read it, you should remember that in one place there are these words: “He will guide the meek in judgment, he will teach the meek in his way” (Ps. 24:9). What do these words mean? And these words mean that the Lord Himself teaches the ways of the Lord, and not man. Yes, only the Lord Himself can teach the ways of the Lord, but He does not teach all people, but only the meek, because whoever humbles himself in heart makes his soul capable of accepting divine teaching. Only such people are taught by the Lord. This is the end of my diary. But I thought about this for a long time yesterday and came to a more detailed reasoning. I reason that if a person could teach the ways of the Lord, that is, could teach how to live in order to be saved, then learned theologians would be the first to be saved. But in reality this is not the case - many learned people do not follow the path of the Lord. Let us take, for example, theologians who graduated from the Theological Academy: how often they do not follow the path of the Lord, but, on the contrary, the path of sin. I had to meet people who had completed a course in theological sciences and said that they would agree to study anything but theology; and at the same time they boast that they know the Christian spirit, and even write spiritual works. But what does a person need to learn the ways of the Lord? It is necessary for a person to be meek and humble, and then the Lord Himself will teach how to follow His path. Knowing this is especially important at the present time, when the scarcity of mentors is so noticeable. Humble yourself with the help of God, be meek, have no malice towards your neighbors, prepare your soul with a meek and good life to receive divine teaching, and the Lord Himself will teach you His ways. If we begin to look through the Psalter, we will see that there are many expressions there that speak about the ways of the Lord and their spiritual understanding. For example, “He will guide the meek into judgment.” This saying is interpreted as follows: the Lord will vouchsafe spiritual reasoning to meek people, - this is how Bishop Ignatius (Brianchaninov) understands it. In the first psalm, which begins with the words “Blessed is the man,” it is written: “For this reason the wicked will not rise again for judgment, lower than the sinner for the council of the righteous” (Ps. 1:5). Saint Ignatius interprets this expression in such a way that no wicked and sinful soul will rise to spiritual heights or have spiritual reasoning. Bishop himself Ignatius led a Christian, ascetic life, and he was vouchsafed spiritual reasoning and could spiritually understand the teachings of Christ and, in general, all of Holy Scripture. So, a meek person will be taught on the path of Christ by the Lord Himself. Further in the Psalter there is the following expression: “All the ways of the Lord are mercy and truth” (Ps. 24:10). According to the interpretation of Father Fr. Ambrose, these words mean that the ways of the Lord require two things from a person - mercy and truth. How should we understand this? Here's how. All who wish to follow the paths of the Lord immaculately must show all mercy and condescension towards their neighbors, even those who sin, and demand from themselves the fulfillment of all truth, all legal righteousness. In relation to ourselves, we must be unforgiving judges: we must strictly correct all our actions according to the commandments of the Law of God. We must always be merciful and condescending towards our neighbors. And this will be a sign that a person is walking along the path of the Lord. If a person does not demand from himself the fulfillment of the Lord’s commandments, then he will not be able to follow the ways of the Lord, and therefore will not be a true Christian. And if he fulfills them, he will be a Christian, regardless of his external rank and position. And the official at the post office, and the archimandrite, and the bishop - all can fulfill the commandments of Christ, create the virtues of the Gospel, all can be true followers of Christ's teaching. “All the ways of the Lord are mercy and truth.” If we watch ourselves to implement “mercy and truth” in our lives, then we will be on the path of the Lord and will lead a Christian life. Some people are lenient towards themselves, but unmerciful towards their neighbors, it’s just that sometimes they are even ready to torture the soul of their neighbor, but we must do the opposite. This is how to write down a useful thought or saying! I forgot about this interpretation, but my diary reminded me. I will add that modern interpretations do not satisfy me. It is true that there is something in them, there are lofty thoughts, but still this is not enough and one always remains to desire more. Modern interpreters interpret everything mainly from a historical point of view, and not from a spiritual and mysterious one. But it happens that a person is under special spiritual illumination, then a deep mysterious meaning appears in his interpretation. This spiritual insight visited St. Fathers. This is clearly seen in their writings. Sometimes even from one word of Holy Scripture cited in support of a particular thought, a deep meaning is immediately revealed. July 17, 1925 Optina Pustyn Conversation IV. Word on the Gospel reading of Matthew. 14:23–33 (after the liturgy) Every Gospel narrative always has two meanings, two meanings: one external, understandable to everyone, and the other internal, deep, mysterious, not understandable to everyone. Likewise, the current Gospel, which was read during the liturgy, in its external content is clear and understandable to everyone, but its internal meaning may not be understandable to everyone. We will try to reveal it to you. The sea on which the disciples sailed during the storm is the sea of ​​life, this world. This is the life around us with its worries, sorrows, needs and temptations. The students are sailing on the sea, it is raging around them. So we too float on the sea of ​​life, overwhelmed by waves of sorrows and temptations that come upon man from the world, the flesh and the devil. And then, during a storm, among the rising waves, Christ appears before the disciples. He walked on the waters of this stormy sea, but the disciples did not believe it, thinking that it was a ghost, that it was just their imagination. So in everyday life, when trials befall a person, waves of temptation rise, a person looks for help everywhere and finds nowhere, everywhere he is deceived in his hopes. It seems to him that he has been abandoned by everyone - both God and people - he becomes despondent, almost in despair... But the Lord is near. He comes to us and extends His divine help to us. He is always ready to help us, every minute, but we don’t believe, we think that there is no hope here either, that this is just a so-so dream, a ghost, and we have nowhere to wait for help. And many, no longer believing in help from above, completely reject this divine help, stop looking for it in God, looking for it in the means of this world. For some, when they have not found help for themselves anywhere, for “human salvation is in vain” (Ps. 59:13), the thought comes: maybe they should try once again to resort to God, once again turn to the means of divine help, and, like Peter, they say: “Lord, if it is You, if You can help, then command me to come to You on the waves.” And look, Christ says to Peter: “Go” (Matthew 14:29). And despite the storm and waves, Peter went. And while he walked, looking at Christ fearlessly, the waves did not drown him, but when he took his eyes off Christ and began to look at the waves of the raging sea, he became afraid, doubted and began to drown. Likewise, when a person, following the direction of the faith of Christ, goes for divine help, at first he remains cheerful and, under the influence of divine illumination, walks firmly, with hope. But when he takes the eyes of his mind - thoughts and feelings - away from Christ, from His divine help and turns them to the seething waves of the sea of ​​life, to sorrows and temptations, he will begin to weaken and cannot help but waver in faith. Let the sea rage, let sorrows rise on all sides, do not pay attention to them, look at Christ, remember that the Lord is near, “as the Lord lives, and as my soul lives” (1 Samuel 20:3). The Lord is always ready to come to our aid!.. And even when a person loses faith and is already drowning, afraid of the waves of sorrows and temptations, not finding help anywhere, he can, like Peter, grab hold of the last hope and cry out: “Lord! save me, I’m dying!” And in great humility he resorts to Christ, his Lord, asking for His divine help. And the Lord says to him: “Why did you doubt, you of little faith? Here I am near you,” and takes him by the hand (Matthew 14:30, 31). Then the sorrows and experiences of life no longer have an effect on him, cannot overcome him, do not shake his heart. The Lord takes a person by the hand and raises him up, as the psalm says: “lift up the poor from the earth” (Ps. 112:7), - he raises him to a height him. We must know that Divine providence for us does not completely remove us from sorrows, does not remove them from us completely and does not deliver us from temptations, does not completely rid us of them, but gives us strength, firmness and courage to overcome them. Look at the whole host of holy saints of God. The Lord did not take them away from misfortunes, did not deliver them from sorrows, but gave them firm will, firm hope, so that they would not waver even amidst severe trials. And indeed, nothing could shake them, as St. says. Apostle: “Neither tribulation, nor famine, nor sword, nor trouble... neither height nor depth... nothing can separate us from the love of God” (cf. Rom. 8:35, 39). And Christ prayed for His disciples and asked God the Father: “I do not pray that You take them out of the world, but that You keep them from trouble” (cf. John 17:15). The Lord allows temptations, but at the same time gives us the strength to endure these temptations. While Peter looked at Christ, he walked on the waters - he was given power, given the power to walk from the Divine Savior, and he walked. Although the storm did not stop, the waves did not subside, and there was still a seething sea under his feet. When sorrows and temptations befall us, we need to have special firmness and courage during their onslaught. You need to know that there has not been, is not and will not be a carefree place and a carefree situation on earth. A sad place can only be in our heart. If the heart is full of divine love, then it will be carefree, calm, and no sorrows will be terrible. When the Divine Savior entered the ship to His disciples, when they united with Christ and saw and felt Him next to them, then, as it is said in the Gospel, “the wind ceased and there was great silence” (see Matthew 8:26). The same thing happens with a person. If we are with Christ and in Christ, then no sorrow will trouble us, but joy will fill our hearts so that we will rejoice even in sorrows and during temptations. If Christ is in a person’s heart, if his heart is full of divine love, then no earthly, everyday experience will attract our attention. Christ - this One, True, Imperishable Beauty - will attract the human heart above all other experiences. St. Ambrose, Bishop of Milan, the great saint of God, one day reflecting on the Divine Liturgy that we had just celebrated, exclaimed in delight, calling Christ the Bread of Heaven: “Sweetest Bread, heal the mouth of my heart, may I feel Your love in me, heal every ailment, yes, except You, I will wish for no beauty. O most pure bread, full of all sweets and aromas, come into my heart and fill my inner soul with the sweetness of your incense. The angels in heaven feed on You abundantly: may the human stranger on earth be satisfied according to his strength with You. Holy Bread, Living Bread, Desired Bread, come down from heaven and give life to the world, enter into my heart and cleanse me from all filth of flesh and spirit... be my eternal health of soul and body.” Thus cried the holy saint of God, for his heart burned with love for the Lord. He wished that no corruptible beauty of the world would tear his heart away from Christ. I cannot demand from you and from myself such fiery love for the Lord as this Saint of God burned with. This is not immediately possible for us. But nevertheless, we can and even must always, and especially in temptations, resort to the Lord Jesus Christ to the best of our ability, cry out to Him, seek help from Him, and cleave our hearts to Him. If we resort to the Lord, He will visit us, protect us from all temptations, be for us “a strong pillar from the face of the enemy” (Ps. 60:4) and lead us without going astray to the extreme limit of our desires and aspirations, to eternal bliss in the Kingdom of Heaven. Amen. July 27, 1925 Optina Pustyn Conversation V. Word before the prayer service to the Savior in honor of His image not made by hands In today's Gospel you have heard the following words: “Jesus strengthened His face to go to Jerusalem to do His deed” (see Luke 9:51–53). In a spiritual sense, this means that every Christian who, like Christ, decides to go to the heavenly Jerusalem, that is, to lead a spiritual life for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven, must “establish his face,” prepare himself for this journey, and decide to undergo an ascetic life. We must prepare and make up our minds, for this journey requires precisely feat, forcing oneself to perform all the virtues by which the Kingdom of Heaven is achieved. We must prepare and make up our minds, because the very practice of virtues is opposed and opposed by various sorrows, temptations, obstacles, coming, first of all, from people who are encouraged by the enemy of our salvation. The enemy wants to hinder good intentions and instills in the people of this world hatred of the servants of God. Just as Christ on the way to Jerusalem was not accepted by the inhabitants of that country, for “His face was coming to Jerusalem,” that is, He had the appearance of a stranger traveling to Jerusalem, so every ascetic, a servant of Christ, is not accepted by the people of this world, for he has the appearance of a man coming to the heavenly Jerusalem. They do not understand his Christian feat, they are alien to him - he seems unreasonable and strange to them. And the way of thinking, and feelings, and concepts, and desires, behavior and whole life, even the outward appearance of a person living for God is not the same as that of a person living the life of this world. And therefore the world, hostile to Christ, rebels against those who try to live like Christians. The world persecutes them, is at enmity against them, does not accept them into its midst: “not receiving Him, as if His face were not coming to Jerusalem.” And further in the Gospel it is said that “no one knows who the Son is but the Father; and who the Father is except the Son, and whomever the Son wills to be revealed” (Luke 10:22). This means: no one can on his own know God and our Lord Jesus Christ, no one can on his own have the correct concepts of faith in God, unless God Himself reveals this to him. No one on his own can know the will of God, the way of the Lord, or have correct concepts about spiritual life and Christian morality, unless the Lord Himself teaches this. And He teaches the one who sincerely desires this and asks the Lord for it, who turns out to be capable and worthy of this teaching, who preserves his conscience, who strives for the Light, who forces himself to do every good thing. Therefore, brothers and sisters, we need to pray to the Lord as earnestly as possible and ask Him to give us firmness in the Orthodox faith, knowledge of spiritual life, knowledge of His Holy will, so that He would reveal to us how we should work out our salvation, accomplish the Christian feat, and, having revealed it, would give us a firm, unwavering determination to complete this feat for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. And so I ask you all earnestly: let us pray now that the Lord will help us to walk the path of Christ, that He will reveal to us how we can work out our salvation, how we should go in order to reach the heavenly Jerusalem. Amen. August 16, 1925 Optina Pustyn. Conversation VI. Teaching in memory of St. Martyr Nikon On this day I wanted to tell you a word on the Gospel concept that has just been read: “And you testify that from time immemorial you have been with Me” (John 15:27), but I did not have time: it was already late and the late liturgy was soon to begin. But the deep meaning of these Gospel words still occupies my mind, and thoughts come one after another. It is impossible to speak at length now, but I will briefly say a few words for your edification. It is said in the Gospel: “And you bear witness that from time immemorial you have been with Me.” Pay attention to these words and understand their meaning. That is why the saints testified about the Lord Jesus. the apostles, and after him the holy martyrs, and in general the holy saints of God, who, as Christ Himself says, from time immemorial, that is, have always been with the Lord. They always remained inseparably with Him, always diligently kept His holy commandments, always remembered Him. So may we also have strength and power to testify to Christ. May we also have the courage, firmness and strength to confess Him and confess not only with our tongues, but also with our very lives. May we also be given the grace to graciously endure all suffering, all hardship and vicissitudes of life for the sake of our Lord Jesus Christ! So, try always to be confessors of Christ, in order to testify to Him as firmly, as fearlessly, as miraculously, as the saints testified. apostles, St. martyrs and all saints. Here is an edification for you: always be with the Lord, have the memory of God, be afraid to drive away God’s help from yourself with any sins or sinful thoughts, be afraid to remain without the Lord. God bless you. Amen. Conversation VII. Homily on the Feast of the Tikhvin Icon of the Mother of God (before the prayer service) Anyone who listened attentively to the reading of the canon and akathist yesterday could have noticed how many beautiful, sublime feelings and thoughts were embedded there, especially in the canon. First of all, the church writer, the compiler of these church hymns, prays to the Lord God to enlighten him and give him the word how he should sing, how he should pray. “Oh, the Almighty Trinity, and the Trisolar Unit! I pray, having enlightened and sanctified my soul and heart and mind, to Thy Divine love” (Tone 8, Canon 1, Song 1, Troparion 1) - for we cannot pray as we should and do not know how and what to pray. It may happen, as the prophet said in one psalm: “let his prayer become sin” (Ps. 109:7). Consequently, not every prayer is holy. When does prayer lead to sin? Then, when the subject of prayer is sinful, when the feelings and desires with which a person begins to pray are sinful. Realizing his unworthiness, which can be reflected in the prayers he composes, the writer of the aforementioned church songs asks the Lord God, so that the Lord God and the Mother of God would not be disgusted by the prayers we compose and offer, and would accept our zeal with which the prayer is offered. “The Word of God, the Light-Giving One, and the Wisdom of the Father in the flesh, the Virgin who gave birth, enlighten the deep darkness of my foolishness, and grant me the word to sing Your miracles” (Tone 4, Canon 2, Song 1, Troparion 2). “With humble lips I brought to Thee this simple song, O All-Singing One: I am too rude, a great sinner, and unworthy to praise Thee by virtue, but with zeal I hope in Thy generosity, for Thou hast given birth to the Savior of the whole world: do not disdain, O Queen, accept this and save me” (song 9). But then, as if in addition to this, we hear: “For purity, abstinence and prayers of the heart are more pleasing to You than the praise of a single mouth” (9th Ikos of the Akathist). It is good if you give praise to the Mother of God, but it is more pleasing to God to actually practice the virtues themselves, and not just praise from the lips alone. If you speak and pray about virtues, you must ensure that the words of prayer turn into deeds, into life itself. Otherwise, you can talk a lot, but to no avail. Elder Fr. Ambrose once said to one person asking him for edification: “Few words are needed, for the Kingdom of God is not in words, but in power.” Sometimes in one word the soul is filled with the most sacred feelings, desires and intentions. Therefore, we ask that not only words remain with us, but if we sing and talk about virtues, then we must also perform these virtues, otherwise the words will not be for edification, but will be a burden to those listening and to ourselves. For indeed, how can an intemperate person teach abstinence? He cannot have the audacity to do this. Or how a glutton can talk about fasting without having the courage to fast—his words will be empty impotence. So, in general, all of us, if we want to be true Christians, must be them not only in language, but in deed, that is, in our lives. Then other people will not be tempted by us, they will not blaspheme Christ’s teaching and the life of Christians because our life is bad, unworthy of the Christian name. And even the Turks, Mohammedans and all sorts of non-believers, sectarians and simply non-believers, seeing our dissimilar life, say that they are better, more moral in life than we, people who boast that they are Orthodox Christians, that they know the true God and serve Him. It’s unfortunate to hear this, but I have and have even had to hear it more than once. Therefore, so that the name of God is not blasphemed for our sins, let us be jealous of virtues in deeds, and not just in words, we will try to correct our lives, we will bring true repentance. Now we will serve a prayer service, let us pray to the Mother of God, the Queen of Heaven, that She would bring Her prayer to the Lord for our intercession, protection and admonition, and we will always pray to the Queen of Heaven, as our child-loving Mother who adopted us. She loves us very much, as children of the Orthodox Church, created by Her Son, our Lord Jesus Christ. She cares and prays for every Christian, so that we do not turn out to be unworthy of Her mercy and do not reject Her help. Let us try not to do anything that drives away the grace of God from us. May the Lord Himself help us in this! Amen. “In the ten-stringed psalm I sing to You” (Ps. 143:9), - this is what it says in the psalm of the king and prophet David. What does it mean? Every saying of Holy Scripture has, in addition to its historical meaning, another, internal meaning. So these words, in addition to their historical meaning, have a mysterious, spiritual meaning. The Prophet King David sang his psalms while playing the psalter. This is a musical instrument that had ten strings. This is the historical meaning. The spiritual, mysterious meaning of these words is this: the ten-stringed psalter is a person with his five external bodily and five internal spiritual senses. On them, as if on ten strings, a person should sing to the Lord, that is, spend his life in accordance with the commandments of God, so that all behavior, all life would be like constant divine singing. “I sing to my God, even as I am” (Ps. 103:33). This is what Elder Leo of Optina said when they asked him what he was doing, and at that time he was receiving the people: “I sing to my God, until I am.” And he could say so, because he could really live according to the holy commandments of God, his life was truly a true godly singing, and this singing is spiritual life. When the strings of a psalter are not tuned as they should, when they sound out of tune, discordant, it is impossible to play it, the character of a correct song does not develop. So in a person, when his feelings are not brought into harmony and do not have a common, consonant desire for God, when a person still loves sin, or when sin against the will of a person rapes him, then he cannot emit the harmonious sounds of spiritual life, cannot sing a holy song, a divine song with all his life, with all his behavior, with all his feelings. You need to force yourself to get yourself in order. You need to work hard for the sake of the Lord, endure all the hardships and inconveniences in the struggle with yourself, with your passions, for it is said: “I have endured the Lord, and heard and heard my prayer: and brought me up from the pit of passions and from the clay of the mire, and set me on the stones of my feet and straighten my steps: and put in my mouth a new song, singing to our God” ( Ps. 39:2–4). We must endure and wait for God's mercy. When one learns to play the violin, at first the player produces very unpleasant, irregular, sharp sounds. They are so unpleasant that it seems that I would run away wherever my eyes look from these sounds. But gradually a person gets used to it, learns to play, the sounds become more and more correct, and, finally, the gentle, beautiful sounds of wonderful music flow. Some people succeed faster, others take longer. Sometimes, even with all the efforts, the player just doesn’t get better; everything doesn’t turn out the way he would like. It takes patience. So it is in spiritual life: a person wants one thing, but he himself does something completely different, not what he wants; his mind wants one thing, and his feelings demand another. And a person sees and feels painfully that this is not all right, he understands that he is not doing well, not as he should, he even becomes despondent, seeing that he is not succeeding in the fight against passions, that his spiritual life is not improving. But no, no need to be discouraged! You have to endure, even if things go wrong for a while, even if things don’t turn out the way you want, you have to try, you have to learn, you have to endure. We must patiently force ourselves to perform every virtue for the sake of the Lord, and soberly monitor all our feelings, thoughts, and deeds. We must call on the Lord God for help. We must come to humility and realize that on our own, without Divine help, a person will not be able to accomplish anything. And when, finally, the vessel of a person’s soul and body is prepared, when the strings of his psalter are tuned in all humility, patience and piety, then the time will come and wonderful singing will be heard. And the beautiful, wondrous sounds of spiritual life will flow, and “the multitude will see and fear, and trust in the Lord” (Ps. 39:4), for from union with the Lord this indescribable singing is obtained. For example, there is a grand piano, ready to play. The strings in it are taut, it is open, but silent. Why is he silent? Because there is no player. Who is this player? This player is the Holy Spirit, as it is said: “We will come to him and make our abode with him” (John 14:23). The Holy Spirit will come and unite the feelings of soul and body cut by sin, and then man will begin to live in God and for God. The mysterious meaning of this psalm was explained to me by Father Barsanuphius. I remember we had lunch with him, and after dinner the priest went to the washstand, washed his mustache, took a towel and, wiping his mustache, said to me: “Brother Nikolai, look at Zigaben’s interpretation of the words of the psalm: “In the ten-stringed psalter I sing to You.” I read it and it contained, albeit briefly, a historical and mysterious interpretation. Father listened and said: “This has now been revealed to me.” And then I thought: “What a man! He wipes his mustache after dinner, and spiritual secrets are revealed to him.” Such spiritual illumination happens to spiritually minded people who “sing to God” throughout their entire lives, regardless of time or situation, sometimes completely unexpectedly and not in prayer, but like Father Fr. Barsanuphius dined, and secrets were revealed to him. He apparently understood the deep mysterious meaning of both church prayers and Holy Scripture: “O Lord, I heard the observation of Your sacrament, I understood Your works and glorified Your Divinity” (Irmos, chapter 8, song 4). Amen. In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit! “My heart is ready, O God, my heart is ready: I ​​will sing and sing in my glory. Arise, my glory, arise, psaltery and harp: I will arise early. Let us confess to You among the people, O Lord, I will sing to You among the nations" (Ps. 107:1-4). These words were repeated several times by Elder Hieroschemamonk Anatoly (Zertsalov), head of the Optina Hermitage Skete before his death in 1894. How much deep, mysterious meaning lies in these inspired words of the psalmist! Once you start thinking about this topic, there is no end to the thoughts. So immensely deep is the wondrous content that lies in the words of the psalm. The Lord God, desiring to create man, miraculously created him, giving him indescribable glory. He created it in His image and likeness, reflecting His Divine glory on it. He wonderfully designed him, giving him beauty and grace in the structure of the body itself, bestowed an immortal soul, endowing it with great spiritual gifts, providing him with wonderful abilities, making him the ruler, the manager of all the visible creations of this world. Man is given a soul; with his immortal soul he rises above all visible creations. There is no one or anything in visible nature equal to man! Man is given a high mind, and with his mind man rises above all nature, she is subjugated under his feet. For example: he chooses various tools, machines, overcoming the forces and elements of nature with them. Man is unable to fight fire with his bare hands - he makes machines and defeats the element of fire. He cannot walk on waters, does not have the strength to swim across long distances - he makes use of boats and ships. He cannot defeat the predator - he invents a weapon and defeats the beast, defeats it. Is this not the greatness, the glory of man? And this still only applies to ordinary, natural human abilities. And if we look at the saints, we will see what wondrous glory and power they were honored with: they conquered nature with moral strength, by the grace of God, they walked on the sea as if on dry land, they were carried through the air by divine power, they were served by wild animals like meek lambs, recognizing them as their master, with their prayer they brought rain down to the earth and performed other wondrous miracles, It is impossible to list them. The Holy Scripture describes the greatness of man in this way: “Thou hast made him a little lower than the angels; thou hast crowned him with glory and honor: and thou hast placed thy hand over his works; thou hast put all things in subjection under his nose” (Ps. 8:6, 7). What greater greatness, greater glory can one desire and expect? Oh, truly the Lord has generously poured out His mercy on man! It would seem that a person, having such gifts, will appreciate them and will live as his human dignity inspires him, in accordance with God's will and command. But, unfortunately, what do we see? We see that man did not understand, did not appreciate what unspeakable glory he was awarded from the Creator and his God, and, as it is said in the psalm: “a man who is in honor without understanding, became like the foolish cattle and became like them” (Ps. 49:13), and for this, by the righteous judgment of God, he lost his glory, “from his glory he was despised” (Ps. 49:15 ). Being in such honor, such glory, man did not understand his dignity, fell, and became like senseless cattle. O great fall! To what abyss and darkness sin casts a person! Truly he is likened to cattle, he feeds his soul, his immortal soul with bestial food, that soul on which the image of God is inscribed, that soul which is given the ability to become like God! Without speaking in detail about the destructive effect of shameful, prodigal passions, which so strikingly and uglyly liken a person to cattle, let us draw attention to the fact that absolutely every passion takes away from a person the image of a person, making him similar to cattle and beasts. Look at what anger and malice do, for example. A man, overwhelmed with anger, becomes completely beast-like, his eyes throw sparks, his face is distorted, he seems ready to devour his neighbor. And all passions and sins in general: gluttony, unbelief, love of money and others turn a person into a beast. Truly, a person needs to cry out here: “Oh, where did my human dignity, my honor, my glory hide from me?!” But the Lord God did not want to leave His beautiful creation - man - in fall. He wanted, out of His immeasurable love for mankind, to redeem man from his fall, from sin. He wanted to raise him, to restore him to his former glory, his former dignity. Incomprehensible to us humans, the Lord accomplishes the redemption of the human race from the Fall of Adam through His incarnation, suffering, death, and resurrection. And out of His immeasurable love and mercy, He gives the fallen and recreated man in Christ not only his first dignity, but also grants him the ability to further improve himself. In redemption, man is given the ability to endlessly, limitlessly approach God, to eternal pleasure in the knowledge of God. He can become a partaker of the Divine nature (2 Pet. 1:4). This thought is beautifully expressed in the church sticheron for the feast of the Annunciation in the words: “For may He, as He alone, be strong, lead man into the first possession with dissolution.” So, after the redemption of man, the Lord crowned him with even greater “glory and honor,” for example, in the Sacraments of His Church, especially in the Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist, which the Angels also desire to partake of, for the atoning Sacrifice is offered only for man, but not for the Angels. In this, one might say, the Angels even seem to envy people, not being able to partake of the Holy Mysteries. But even after the redemption of man by the Most Holy Blood of Christ the Savior, man fell and is falling into sin, dropping his glory, trampling on it and becoming like senseless cattle. Again the man lies struck to dust, in sorrowful dishonor. And on behalf of such a person, who has lost his glory, who has forgotten his human dignity, who has lost his former property, St. the prophet exclaims: “Arise, my glory!” Remember, O man, who you were and what you have become, remember your glory with which the Lord crowned you, remember your glory and leave your bestial way of life, return to your former dignity. “Arise, my glory, arise, psaltery and harp.” According to the interpretation of the Holy Fathers, our mental and physical feelings and abilities are called psalms and harp. “Arise, psaltery and harp,” that is, prepare the whole person, with all your strength - both mental and physical - to sing divinely, to live in the Lord. “You, my psalter,” the Prophet seems to say, “have been abandoned for a long time; there may be a large layer of dust on you, your strings are rusty, you are all upset, perhaps broken, and if you hit your strings, you won’t get harmonious sounds; they, your strings, will emit rattling, shapeless and soul-wrenching sounds. ABOUT! Arise, arise, my psalter! You need to tune your strings, you need to put the whole instrument in order, because if even one string is out of tune, you won’t get harmonious sounds, irregularity will be heard and it will spoil the whole structure, all the harmony - the whole singing will be ruined, even if all the other strings sound harmonious.” You cannot work for God and mammon (Matthew 6:24), you cannot serve God and sin. A person, according to the Gospel, must love the Lord with all his soul, with all his strength (see Matt. 22:37), without giving over to sin a single feeling, not a single ability of his soul or body. So is St. ap. James says that if anyone sins in one thing, he is guilty against the whole law (see James 2:9–11). So, get ready, raise up all the psalms and harp. Correct yourself, get ready for proper singing, for proper playing. A person has reached the realization of the need for rebellion, he is ready to give up a sinful life, break off all communication with sin, and turn with his whole being to God. The enemy, the devil, sees this and whispers to the person: “Where? For what? You’ll still have time!” Whispers, wanting to weaken the person's resolve. But the person resolutely rejects the enemy’s suggestions and, encouraging himself, says: “There is no need to hesitate! Quicker! I'll wake up early! Now, immediately, without delay, I will rise. I will rise up and begin to immediately tune my psalter and harp to singing, that is, to living a life pleasing to God in fulfilling all the commandments of God, to living in accordance with the Law of God.” And so another life begins, a spiritual life in communion with the Lord. She is not without difficulties! They meet a person of sorrows and trials, the struggle with sin. From time to time, a person is tormented by so-called addictions, that is, the sediments and consequences of previously accepted evil and sin in a person’s renewed mind and feelings. But the desire to be with the Lord and to seek the joy of peace and eternal bliss in Him alone overcomes everything. A person works, being in such a feat, and years, even decades, pass. Finally, testing himself, a person sees and feels that all desire for the sweets of this corruptible world has died in him, that his heart has become deadened for the enjoyment of corruptible beauty, that, as the one and true incorruptible beauty, as the single goal of all his aspirations and desires, Christ stands before him. A person sees the state of his heart. And he cries out: “My heart is ready, O God, my heart is ready.” Now that it is ready, “I will sing in my glory.” My former glory arose, my heart was prepared, it became capable of divine singing. “Now I will sing and sing,” that is, I will not stop singing, sending glory to God. In living according to God, in the Jesus Prayer, I will place the whole purpose of my life. Until now I had groaned under the burden of passions and the attacks of the enemy; I could not sing joyful songs. I offered God a tender, repentant prayer, for I saw and constantly had before my eyes the captivity of sin, my glory cast down to the ground. But now that my glory has risen, I will sing and sing in my glory. “Now let us confess to You among men, O Lord, I will sing to You among the nations.” I will speak about the works of the Lord, revealed to me before all people, I will not be afraid, I will not be ashamed to lead the life required of me by the Law of God, in every nation, in every place. “I will sing and sing in my glory.” These words are already, so to speak, the delight of the holy soul. Elder Fr. Anatoly could exclaim like that, we are far from that. It is more fitting for us to cry about our fall, but still we must strive in every possible way to raise our fallen glory, and for this we must, first of all, begin to cleanse ourselves of sins. Our entire initial feat must be focused on the fight against sin, on cleansing the heart from passions, in repentance and humility, and the Lord, seeing our humility and labor, will leave our sins (Ps. 24:8), cleanse the heart, and then our glory will arise in the singing of a divine song. May the Lord vouchsafe this to us by His mercy. Amen. Conversation X. Sermon for the Week on Zacchaeus In today's Gospel (Luke 19:1-10), as you heard, it was read about Zacchaeus the tax collector, how the Lord Jesus Christ visited him and how this visit changed and corrected his life. Publicans were people who collected taxes. They often committed abuses when collecting taxes, offended people, took too much from them, and therefore were despised by everyone as sinners. Such was Zacchaeus. But the Lord did not abhor his sins, nor did he abhor him. He promises to visit him, to come to his home. The heart of Zacchaeus was filled with joy, he received the Lord in his home, and this visit made such an impression on him that he was completely changed. In his heart he became different, not the same as he was, and promised the Lord the correction of his life. “Lord,” he says, “I will return not only everything that belongs to others, that does not belong to me, taken unrighteously, but I will also give alms from my own property” (cf. Luke 19:8). This is the change that took place in Zacchaeus. Why is this so? Why did this man, who offended people, suddenly become merciful and generous, suddenly change completely? Because, beloved brothers and sisters, I hated my sin. I saw Christ in my presence - Pure, Holy, Sinless. And in comparison with Him I saw my sinfulness, my uncleanness, my moral fall. He saw this, and a spark of unhypocritical desire to improve was lit in his heart. I draw your special attention to this. People who are sick at heart come to us, confessors. They seem to come to repent of their sins, but then it turns out that they do not have a sincere determination to part with any of their favorite sins. This reluctance to leave sin, this secret love for sin is what makes a person unable to sincerely repent and therefore fails to heal the soul. What a person was before confession, continues to be like this after it. But it shouldn't be like that! You must, like Zacchaeus, sincerely hate your sin, wish with all your soul to correct yourself and love the Law of God. By carefully reading or listening to the sacred psalms and delving into the meaning of the wonderful words of the psalms, we can receive a lot of edification. By the way, in one psalm we read the following words: “The laws of his God are in his heart, and his feet will not falter” (Ps. 36:31). Deep meaning and wonderful edification lie in these words. When a person, so to speak, puts the Law of God, the holy commandments of God, in his heart, when he loves them, then he will hate sin, will restrain himself from all sin and will be inflamed with the desire of life for the Lord. In every activity, in every activity, even the most ordinary, everyday ones, such a person will check his actions, his intentions by the Law of God. The Law of God must constantly be inscribed in the mind and heart of a person: everything that disagrees with the Law should be immediately rejected, and everything that agrees should be accepted. Here comes across a person’s life path or in his thoughts and desires some sin, some evil deed. If the Law of God comes first in his heart, then his conscience immediately says: “My Lord does not allow me to do this, how can I allow myself to do this, how can I allow it, when it is contrary to His holy commandments?” And man does not commit sin. And if he resists every sin everywhere and always, then his feet do not stumble, he does not stumble from the right path, he does not wander along the crossroads of a sinful life. “The laws of his God are in his heart, and his steps will not falter.” But the enemy of the human race does not sleep, he wants to confuse a person, lead him astray. He fights a person in all possible ways and means, incites mental warfare, that is, a fight against sin in thoughts with the goal of plunging him into sin in deed. This is a hard fight! It sometimes brings a person to despondency and relaxation, even to the point of consent to sin. And so, although even unrealized consent to sin is already a sin before God and one must repent of this, but if a person nevertheless resisted and did not fall into sin by deed itself, then it means that his feet did not falter, he did not stumble. But as soon as a person lets go of the commands of the Law of God from his memory and from the feeling of his heart, sin seduces him and he falls, his feet stumble, he loses his way, sinning not only in thought, but also in deed. That is why we, beloved brothers and sisters, need to always have the Law of God in our hearts. Then, in our mental struggle against sin, we will hate sin more and more and love virtue. Gradually, love for God and virtue, with sincere repentance of sins, will increase, the heart will strive more and more for God, the spiritual beauty of the Law of God will captivate our souls more and more. And finally, a person can come to that wonderful and longed-for state, being in which he will be able to exclaim as the Apostle exclaimed: “Who will separate us from the love of God?” (and love for God is, first of all, expressed by observing God’s commandments). “Neither tribulation, nor persecution, nor distress, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else!” (cf. Rom. 8:35-38) - as read in the current apostolic reading. This is what true repentance ultimately leads to! Therefore, I earnestly ask you all, brothers and sisters, to try to hate your sins, to bring sincere repentance for them, to desire to sincerely correct yourself, as Zacchaeus desired, only then will our repentance have good fruits. Love for God and His holy Law will be established in our hearts, and we will follow the right path to the salvation of our souls. Amen. Conversation XI. Homily for the Second Sunday after Pentecost You heard today in the Gospel reading (Matthew 4:18-29) how the Lord called His disciples and how they obediently obeyed Him, how obediently they followed Him. He only said to them: “Follow Me,” and they, as it is said, “rose up and went.” And this is because the soul of each of them was already, so to speak, prepared for the call of God. Just as in ancient times the Lord called His disciples, so now He never ceases to call each of us to Himself. But our souls have become very hardened, clinging to the earth, and we do not hear the voice of the Lord, we remain and remain in our unrepentant state. The obedience of St. is touching. apostles and the bitterness and unbelief of modern people is saddening! I ask you, brothers and sisters, listen to the voice of God, which constantly calls you. There was and is no shortage of God’s call. Look: the churches of God are open, divine services are being held, isn’t this the call of God? You hear the gospel, calling you to the church of God for prayer, isn’t this the call of God? In church we hear a sermon, the word of God, isn’t this the call of God? We hear about ancient and modern miracles, about various manifestations of God’s mercy and glory, and isn’t this the call of God? Yes, if we each impartially take a closer look at our own lives and delve into it, we will see that the Lord has repeatedly called us and is calling us to Himself. Even if sorrows and temptations befall us, they are also a call from God for us, for they distract us from sin and from earthly attachments, and remind us of heaven. After all this, we have no excuse or forgiveness if we remain deaf to such a constantly heard call of God. Even in ancient times, the Prophet, foreseeing our disastrous time, cried out: “do not harden your hearts” (Ps. 94:8), - do not be like the ancient Jews, who in the desert, like a deaf adder, stopped their ears (Ps. 57:5) so as not to hear the voice of God. Let's take these words into our hearts and try to improve! And in order for our heart to be ready and capable of accepting the call of God, it is necessary to cleanse it of all evil, so that there is no malice in it, no addiction to anything, especially to sinful things. When there is an addiction in the heart to some nasty, sinful matter, to some worldly matter or to anything earthly in general, then this is a wall that separates us from God, does not allow us to follow Christ, to be His disciples, for it is said that unless someone renounces all his possessions and does not hate with holy hatred everything that can distract from God by addiction to himself, he cannot be a disciple of Christ (cf. Luke 14:26–33). This wall is destroyed by true repentance, correction of life, rejection of everything sinful. Then a person can freely follow Christ as His faithful disciple. Therefore, I ask you all, beloved brothers and sisters, to bring repentance to God, to sincerely ask Him for help in correcting our lives. We will now pray, as always, to the Mother of God before the icon of Her “Unexpected Joy”, and now, if any of you is touched by the call of God, if a person hears this call and turns to the path of truth and virtue, then truly this will be an unexpected, unexpected, holy joy. Let us pray that the Queen of Heaven will help us correct ourselves, purify our hearts and hear the call of God, calling us to the Kingdom of Heaven, where there is no sorrow or sighing, but endless, blissful life. Amen. Conversation XII. Instruction on patience with sorrows (from a letter to a certain person) It was a long time ago. I don’t remember for what reason, the now deceased Fr. The archpriest once asked me during Great Lent to serve the late liturgy for him in the cathedral. I happily agreed. It was the 5th Sunday of Lent. At one time I began serving the liturgy and served quietly. The time has come to read the Holy Gospel. Having handed the Holy Gospel to the hierodeacon for reading, I stood, as usual, at the high place behind the throne, preparing to listen to the divine verbs of the eternal life. And so the deacon read: “Behold, we are ascending to Jerusalem, and the Son of man will be handed over to the bishops and scribes, and they will condemn Him to death, and hand Him over to the pagans: and they will mock Him, and hurt Him, and spit on Him, and kill Him: and on the third day He will rise again” (cf. Mark 10:33–35). My sinful heart trembled within me. I vividly remembered what happened many years ago. I remembered our quiet monastery, which raised us spiritually. I remembered our deceased elder Fr. Barsanuphius, dear elder, father and mentor, who inspired us, tried to sow the good seeds of spiritual life and monasticism in our hearts, delved into the meaning of the Holy Scriptures and understood its spiritual, mysterious meaning. I remembered how once, in the 5th Sunday of Great Lent, after the liturgy, having come to his cell, he asked me if I had paid attention to the Gospel being read during the liturgy, and pointing to the words: “Behold, we are ascending to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be betrayed... and they will mock Him, and hurt Him, and spit on Him, and kill Him,” he said: – These are the degrees of ascent to the heavenly Jerusalem, they must be passed through. What level are we at? I don’t remember exactly what else was said, and, in general, whether what was said related to the spiritual meaning and meaning of these words of the Gospel, but I remember as if the conversation ended with this question. This question was asked mysteriously, thoughtfully. Listening to the elder’s words, putting them in my heart, I remained silent. And so, I don’t remember now, after how many days, and maybe even hours, the abbot announced to the elder about his transfer from the monastery to the Moscow diocese. This caused great sorrow to the elder. After all, grief should be considered not what a person experiences outwardly, but how much God allows him to be depressed by this experience, which causes grief and suffering to him and his heart. The elder truly suffered then. Sharing his grief with me, he once told me that due to the great internal struggle and sorrow he was afraid that he might go crazy. And it was quite clear to him and to us that such an order from the higher authorities was a punishment for the elder, that it was arranged by his ill-wishers, that there was slander, slander, man-pleasing, lies and much more about which it is impossible to write briefly. Indeed, they mocked the elder, wounded him, and spat on him (absurd slander and gossip about his name, accusing him even of the Khlysty heresy), and killed him, for from all the sorrows and experiences in the last days of his stay in the monastery and at the place of his new service, his old health, already weak, was undermined, and he died exactly a year later. The service assigned to him, while performing all the duties associated with it and experiencing everything that the conditions and circumstances of life in a new place caused him, was a cross and a heavy cross for him. Believing that the cross was sent only by God, the elder endured everything while on the cross, surrendering to the will of God, and did not resort to human means. And they passed through the degrees of ascent to Jerusalem. All this instantly came to my mind and filled my mind and heart with feelings and thoughts. Until that time, I had never spoken words or teachings in church (I only had to read from a book), but then I had a desire to share with others, to say a word to the people. Truly, “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34). One thought insistently demanded to utter a word, another inspired fear for my external well-being. And the first thought prevailed. But, not wanting to say my first word in church without a blessing, I decided, in the absence of anyone else at the altar, to offer this to the hierodeacon who served with me for reasoning and blessing. His answer was in the affirmative, and after the liturgy I came out and said my first word. I kept silent about the elder and all my memories, and began to explain the meaning of the Gospel I had read, the meaning of these holy words that filled my soul. I cannot state everything that was said to me, for I do not remember, but what filled my soul still lives in it. By the grace of God, out of many things I will write a little for the edification of both you and myself. Jerusalem in a spiritual sense means the Kingdom of Heaven. Ascension into it is the earthly life of every believer who works out his salvation. This is touchingly stated in the sticheron of Great Holy Monday: “The Lord coming to free passion, the Apostle said on the way, behold, we ascend to Jerusalem and the Son of Man is betrayed, as it is written about Him. Come, then, we, with purified meanings, will walk before Him and be crucified and put to death for His sake with worldly passions, so that we may come to life with Him and hear Him crying: no one will go to earthly Jerusalem for the hedgehog’s suffering, but I will ascend to My Father and your Father, and My God and your God, and He who exalted you to the heavenly Jerusalem, to the Kingdom of Heaven.” He who is saved in the Lord must overcome all degrees of ascent to the heavenly Jerusalem. On the path of life, one inevitably encounters sorrows and temptations; one must be prepared for them. Our human weakness does not want them, often forgets about their inevitability and desires only earthly happiness. Please note that even St. The apostles, before receiving the gifts of the Holy Spirit and the gift to understand the Scriptures, were not alien to the desires of temporary glory and happiness, as, for example, it is narrated in the Gospel: after Christ’s words about the coming sorrows and death, the sons of Zebedee asked Christ for the honors of His temporary Kingdom, which they then expected, but instead of that honor, Christ promised the cup of death to His friends (see Mark 10:35–40). Therefore, if we see our life full of sorrows and unfulfilled hopes and desires, let us not lose heart. That's how it should be. The life of a Christian should be like the life of Christ. St. announces to us. ap. Peter: “Christ suffered for us, leaving us an example, an example, so that we should follow in His steps” (cf. 1 Pet. 2:21). For this reason, Christ gave the holy commandments, so that we would abide in them and through this would truly be disciples of Christ throughout our very lives, and not just because we are called Christians. “By this... they will know that you are My disciples, if you keep My commandments” (cf. John 13:35), says the Lord to His friends, going to suffer. To fulfill the commandments of Christ, you need to know them. They are set out in the Gospel. Read the Holy Gospel, imbued with its spirit, make it the rule of your life, your reference book. In every action and matter of life, act in accordance with the teachings of the Gospel. This is the only light of our life. Among other teachings and commandments, we find in the Holy Gospel the teaching on the need for humility, which Christ confirmed to His disciples just before the suffering of the cross, as is narrated in the current Gospel, as well as in other places (see John 13:13–15). Without humility, a person’s heart will not accept, will not assimilate Christ’s teaching. Humility of heart inspires a person to be submissive to the will of God. Without humility, one cannot be a disciple of Christ; one cannot humbly accept everything that the Lord pleases to send to a person on his life’s path; one cannot subjugate one’s mind, one’s reasoning, one’s desires to the obedience of Christ. Experience shows what bitter fruits are reaped by those who do everything according to their own invention. What torment a self-forming mind inflicts on a person! Into what an abyss of fall and destruction does abandonment of the teachings and path of Christ plunge a person! The path of Christ seems narrow and regrettable, but it gives the person walking along it something that he would not exchange for any vain, temporary treasures and joys of this world. So precious is what Christ the Lord gives to believers! Let us surrender ourselves entirely to the will of God, and with sincere prayer let us beg Christ to be with Him, on His path, and along this path to enter the heavenly Jerusalem. Amen. You might be interested in: