Последние дни жизни

Chapter I. From a letter from a certain person I recently received news of the death of the Optina confessor, Hieromonk Nikon. I met him on the way to Solovki. In Butyrka prison they united us into one party. He was probably younger than me in years and looked like a well-preserved man. With him then was another monk also from the Optina Hermitage, as I later learned, a certain Mikhail Taube, a relatively young man, an intellectual, with a higher secular education. They were both in a very good monastic mood. These were people, so to speak, of the Optina spiritual culture, and I was very glad to have such a meeting on that difficult path. They, these two Orthodox monks, were the first clergy whom I saw in my party of prisoners sent to Solovki. From Butyrka prison we were together all the way to Kem and in Kempunkt I was probably with them for two months, even in the same barracks. And now, when the news of the death of Fr. Nikon, I vividly remembered everything: our life at that time, and the bright personality of the deceased... And now I would like to share with you both my memories and the information that I received about the last days of the life of the deceased Fr. Nikon. O. Nikon... Mikhail... – how I see them now. Mikhail looked like a tall, thin, young, intelligent man, dark-haired, wearing a monastic robe. And o. Nikon was a little older, a healthy-looking man, not thin, brown hair and beard, average height, an open, pleasant face, he was also in monastic robes. Always reasonable, self-possessed, always bright in spirit, they were true Orthodox monks, and it was so gratifying for me to see and hear them. We were together, as I already mentioned, from Butyrki onwards. Prisoner cage cars, the Leningrad prison, again a cage car hundreds of miles along the way and, finally, Kemperpunkt. Barracks, cramped conditions, bedbugs, curses, work and everything, everything that fit into our lives in those days, we went through everything together until we parted. And they parted like this: one day they called Mikhail first and sent him and the assembled party on one of the business trips, somewhere in the forest, on the coast of the White Sea. Then a month or two later they called me to be sent to Solovetsky Island. When I left with my party of prisoners for the ship, Fr. Nikon remained in Kemperpunkt, still as a watchman near some sheds and some barrels. Always with a book in his hands, always calm and quiet, silent, balanced. From where he was on duty, the sea was visible. I remember this sea well. I especially loved it on moonless white nights, when only eiders screamed in the distance on the sea, already almost free of ice, and the gentle light of the white nights spoke something to my soul... Probably, and Fr. Nikon saw all this, worried and noticed, and then carried it away in his bright soul... I never had to talk to him the way my soul wanted, and we only partially exchanged our thoughts on this or that issue. And his prudence, balance and some kind of special spiritual culture, Optina, were probably reflected in his life, and in his behavior, in his words and in his silence itself. I appreciated him, as well as his friend Mikhail, I was glad that I saw them. And now I thank God for this life meeting. Recently I received a letter describing the end of Fr. Nikon. Here is a copy of the letter in full: I do not know you personally and am writing to you on behalf of Fr. N. In a letter to him you expressed a desire to know about the last days of the life, death and burial of the Optina Monastery of Hieromonk Fr. Nikon. With love, I meet your wishes and inform you about the deceased Fr. Nikon what I know. O. Nikon and Mikh. Mich. Taube (Fr. Agapit in monasticism) eventually got together again and were sent together from Komi to Arkhangelsk. Before departure, they were subjected to a medical examination, and the doctor found Fr. to be in good health. Nikon staggered. He advised him to take himself seriously and, upon arrival in Arkhangelsk, ask for an appointment to the medical commission. “You,” says Dr. Fr. Nikona, “due to your health condition, they may send you not to the north, but to another place that is more suitable climatically.” Fr. Nikon, accustomed to cutting off his will “from the days of his youth” (Ps. 87:16), asked Fr. for advice on this matter. Agapit, who did not advise him to do anything in this direction. And oh. Nikon listened to this advice, saying: “Let the will of God be done.” Upon arrival in June-July 1931 in Arkhangelsk o. Nikon and Fr. Agapit lived together for some time, and Fr. Agapit was consoled by this. But they did not have to live together for long. Soon Fr. Nikon was sent to Pinega and Fr. Agapit was left alone near Arkhangelsk. Upon arrival in Pinega, Fr. Nikon was assigned to stay in a village not far from the city, and then was soon transferred to the village of Vospola, where he stayed in the house of an old woman who mocked him like a cruel master over his slave. On December 25, 1931, he went to the city church (cold) and caught a cold there. In addition, he had sore legs (varicose veins). He needed rest and peace, but the cruel mistress did not give him this and did not want to believe that her tall tenant was sick. O. Nikon worked to the point of exhaustion: he carried water, sawed, chopped and carried firewood, set up a samovar, and all this while suffering from leg pain and always at a high temperature. Finally, the hostess deigned to make sure that Fr. Nikon is really sick and incapable of work, and, instead of showing him humanity, she began to kick him out of the house, saying: “Go wherever you want, I don’t need you. Healthy people are asking to come to my apartment to work for me, but you are sick and will die, what will I do with you then?” The situation was hopeless, and Fr. Nikon, on the advice of the Optina monk living in those parts, moved, already completely ill, to another village, six miles from Penega, and settled in the apartment of the hierodeacon of Optina Skete, Fr. Petra. It was on Palm Saturday, March 22 of this year. Back in the village of Vospola, it seems, a doctor examined a patient and found that he had advanced pulmonary tuberculosis, which he told the patient about. Time passed, there was no medicine or medical supervision, there was no appetite, the patient could judge only by noticeable weakness and elevated temperature that the disease was progressing. June 3 Art. Art. to o. One of Nikon’s spiritual daughters arrived and found him already lying in bed. On Wednesday, June 11, in the afternoon, he was so bad that they thought he would not live until the morning, so they rushed to give him communion, after which he felt better. The patient was very worried about the bedsore, and he also suffered from the fact that his lungs had shrunk and he could not breathe. In difficult times, he rushed about, not finding a place for himself, he would either lie down or get up. “There’s nothing,” he says, “to breathe, give me some air, give me at least a little bit.” When it became easier, he quietly prayed: “Lord, help me! Lord, have mercy!” At elevated temperatures, he sometimes became delirious, and often remembered the Optina elder Fr. Macarius: “Look,” he said, “the elder Fr. came to me. Macarius sat down, but you don’t see.” On Saturday, June 14, a doctor was invited, who, after listening carefully to the sick man, said to console him: – There is no transient consumption, weakness is a temporary phenomenon, everything will pass. And he told those around him directly: – Father has blooming tuberculosis (that is, in full bloom, in full swing), and it’s all over. He lives only because his heart is healthy. The doctor's words spoken by Fr. Nikona, apparently, reassured and consoled him, since after that he even began to think and ask about submitting an application for his transfer to a place more favorable in terms of climate. Despite his weakness, Fr. Nikon, when he felt somewhat better, wrote short notes to spiritual children with his own hand: to some he wrote a few words on their letters, to others he dictated notes and signed them with his own hand. On June 20 or 21, the priest passed blood through his stomach. Afterwards he became completely weak, but on June 21 he dictated several notes and signed them with a weakened hand. On June 25 at twelve o'clock in the afternoon Fr. Nikon was given communion by a certain archimandrite, the brother of one of his spiritual daughters, and immediately read the funeral service. At two o'clock in the afternoon Fr. Nikon drank tea and at seven o’clock in the evening he also drank a little. At nine o'clock in the evening the above-mentioned spiritual daughter Fr. Nikona, who came to visit him, asked: - Would you like to have some tea, father? In response to this, he shook his head negatively and seemed to fall asleep. The eyes were closed, breathing was heavy, and a quiet groan was heard. After nine o'clock in the evening, the named spiritual daughter lay down to rest, and Fr. Peter sat at the table and wrote. When she stood up, Fr. Nikon was lying on his left side, breathing rarely and moaning quietly, his head was tilted slightly towards his shoulder. We approached the dying man. He still breathed rarely, then breathed quietly several times, and the soul was separated from the body. There were no convulsions; he lay on his left side with his head tilted to his shoulder, and remained there. The eyes were closed, the mouth was slightly open, the face was white, pleasant, smiling. It was 10:40 pm. They put on a long shirt, a new cassock, a half-robe, an epitrachelion, a bridle, and a skufya instead of a kamilavka, because the parcel with the hood and long robe did not arrive on time. On the second day, June 26, they laid the newly deceased in a coffin, served a memorial service and sang the funeral service at home according to the monastic order. The funeral service was performed by the archimandrite, archpriest, abbot and four hieromonks. They were buried on Friday, June 27, at two o'clock in the afternoon. The coffin was carried through the village on a sleigh through the deep sand, beyond the village it was again carried through the meadow to the cemetery, and a large oak cross was placed on the grave. After the funeral, a memorial meal was held; twelve clergy alone sat at the table. It is worthy of note that the persons who performed the funeral service for Fr. Nikon, were at work sixty miles from their homes and suddenly a week before the death of Fr. Nikon was released. It was as if the father was waiting for them and did not die! O. Nikon wrote to me and others shortly before his death that he was no longer a tenant and did not hope for a date in this life. Meanwhile, as Fr., who was present at the death, says. Nikona is his spiritual daughter, it was imperceptible that he expressed mortal fear, he often said that he did not feel the approach of death, and still hoped for recovery. He apparently did not want to die, he wanted to see his loved ones in spirit. He retained his characteristic cheerfulness until his death. When he felt relatively well, he smiled and lovingly asked about his spiritual children and acquaintances, and talked about his sufferings and experiences over the last four years of his life. His sufferings were great, but the same patience was shown during them. His virtuous patience is deeply respected. It is worthy of imitation that the deceased, in all sorrowful circumstances, endured everything in silence, did not complain to anyone about anything, thanked God for everything, surrendering himself to the will of God, and in this he found peace and joy for the soul. The monks and nuns living in those places greatly regret the death of Fr. Nikon and speak of him as a most worthy shepherd who was endearing to them. But it’s time for me to finish my messages about Fr. who is close to my heart. Nikon. I end them with the words of my spiritual father, the Optina elder: - So, by the will of God, there was no longer a man who was still young, exemplary, religious, and hence with a moral outlook, gifted enough to influence others well and be a useful worker in the field of Christ. The Lord arranges everything for the benefit of people for eternal good. So is Fr. Nikon was put through considerable trials so that in the young years of his earthly life he would mature for a good eternity. “Blessed is the path; walk this day for your soul, for a resting place has been prepared for you.” These words are so applicable to the deceased! He worked for his children, and now he is resting from his labors, we are covered by the mercy of the Heavenly Father, whose ineffable grace may not pass us by!.. With o. I don’t correspond with Agapit and know almost nothing about him. At his request, through others, he wrote to him in detail about the death of Fr. Nikon, I don’t know if the letter from Arkhangelsk reached him. At the beginning of this year, he moved to live somewhere in the north for a certain period of time and works in a camp at a hospital as an assistant paramedic. He was not listed among the brethren of the Optina Hermitage, but lived in the monastery’s enclosure after 1920, it seems he held the position of librarian in the museum, I don’t know for sure, I only know that he served in the museum. Then he was laid off and lived in an apartment in a monastery until June 1927, when he left with us. I personally respect O. Agapit very much, he is of good monastic dispensation, he wants to live under the guidance of the elder, but for now he lives without him, learning humility and patience in another school. Your review of the deceased Fr. I read Nikon with pleasure. The review expresses the truth! I didn’t think that I wouldn’t see Fr. Nikon. The last time we saw him was on December 30–31, 1927 in Kaluga prison. Since January, I left the prison hospital and went to Turkestan at my own expense, and Fr. On January 27, 1928, Nikon was sent with a convoy to a place known to you. I have been suffering from pulmonary tuberculosis for ten years and thought that I would die before Fr. Nikon, but the Lord judged differently. O. Nikon has gone into eternity, but I am still breathing and moving, although with difficulty, weakness and shortness of breath are terrible. About Fr. I especially feel sorry for Nikona! I wanted to see him and talk about a lot of things, but now it's all over. He and I met in 1907 in the monastery of Optina Hermitage, where we lived among the brethren, both learning monastic life from the Elder of God, Fr. Barsanuphius, both helped the elder in his extensive correspondence with spiritual children, and then, when Fr. Nikon was appointed monastery clerk, and I, along with other employees, helped him. After the liquidation of the monastery, they lived in the city in the same apartment and were eventually taken together in the spring of 1927 and taken to “where they did not want to go” (John 21:18). I sincerely respected Fr. Nikon for his simplicity and love for monastic inner life, for his love for his neighbors. It was good to be with him, and you could always relax and warm your soul around him. Eternal memory to him!.. For this, forgive and cover with love the shortcomings of writing and blots. Posting will delay the letter, I want to send it to you as soon as possible. Please inform me of your receipt of the letter by postcard. I also apologize for the blots. I've been writing all day, my head is tired and I can't think of anything. I wish you all the graces of God. I remain with respect to you...” Chapter II. Memories of a Spiritual Daughter I received a letter from my father, written by him in March of this year, in which he among other things reports that he fell ill and the doctor found tuberculosis to be advanced. When I read these lines, the thought came to me that the priest would not recover, and at the same time I began to think about going to the sick man, about which I wrote to him, asking him to inform him about his state of health. Having received a reply by telegraph that his health was in the same condition, I decided to immediately go to the priest to find him alive. June 2, Old Art. left and after a difficult journey arrived at the priest on Monday evening, June 9. I found my father already lying on the hard bed. He greeted me with fatherly love and thanked me for coming. It was sad to see the lack of attention to the priest who served him during his illness and did not care about improving his painful bed. The bed was replaced by boards, the straw mattress was crumpled, and instead of a pillow there were folded clothes. When the boards were replaced with a bed, the mattress was changed and a straw pillow was made, the priest expressed pleasure and, thanking me, said: It was also sad to see that the priest was lying in a quilted jacket and felt boots. This is at a temperature of 40 degrees, on hot June days! The padded jacket was taken off, and the priest was covered with a blanket, the felt boots were also taken off. There turned out to be an unusually large number of lice in them... I will not dwell on the inattentive attitude towards the priest of those who served him, I will only say that the priest endured all the time and did not express his displeasure to anyone at all. On Wednesday, June 11, during the day the priest felt so bad that they thought he would not live until the morning, so they rushed to give him communion. After communion it became better. Father was very worried about a bedsore, and he suffered greatly from the fact that his lungs had shrunk and he could not breathe. In difficult moments, he rushed about, could not find a place, would either lie down or get up. “There’s nothing,” he said, “to breathe. Give me some air, give me at least a little bit.” He asked me to put it on the floor. When he still felt better, he quietly prayed: “Lord, help me! Lord, have mercy." At elevated temperatures, he sometimes became delirious, remembering his spiritual children, brought them to repentance, read the canons, baptized the air and very often remembered his spiritual children and the Optina elder Fr. Macaria. “Look,” he said, “the elder Fr. came to me. Macarius sat down, but you don’t see.” The priest had no appetite. I drank two or three raw eggs a day, two glasses of tea with wine and two cups of milk, and sometimes ate two or three store-bought cookies. On Saturday, June 14, a doctor was invited, listened carefully to the priest and said to him in consolation: And the doctor directly told me: – Father has blooming tuberculosis (that is, in full bloom, in full swing), and it’s all over. He lives only because he has a healthy heart. The words the doctor said to the priest apparently calmed and consoled him, since after that he even began to think and ask about submitting an application to be transferred to a more climatically favorable area. Time passed, and the priest grew weaker, but despite this, when he felt better, he wrote with his own hand, albeit with difficulty, short notes to some of his spiritual children, to some he wrote a few words to their letters, to some he dictated notes and signed them with his own hand. On June 20, he asked for a piece of paper and wanted to write something, but his weakness did not allow him; he wrote only two lines: “What beauty there is in spiritual books.” On June 20 or 21, the priest passed blood through his stomach, after which he became completely weak, but on June 21 he dictated several notes and signed them with a weakened hand. On June 25 at twelve o'clock in the afternoon the priest was given Holy Communion by Fr. Archimandrite, the brother of one of the priest’s spiritual daughters, and immediately read the departure letter. Here it must be said that the priest took communion almost every day; when he was able, he himself took communion, and when he was completely weakened, the confessor or one of the hieromonks gave communion. At two o’clock in the afternoon of the same June 25, the priest was drinking tea, and at seven o’clock in the evening I asked: - Would you like to have some tea, Father? In response to this, he shook his head negatively and seemed to begin to fall asleep, his eyes were closed, his breathing was heavy, and a groan was heard. After nine o'clock in the evening I lay down to rest, and Fr. Peter sat at the table and wrote. I don’t remember how long I lay there, but when I got up, the priest was calmly lying on his left side, breathing rarely and moaning quietly, his head was tilted to his shoulder. I went up to him and spoke about. Petru: - Why don’t you come up to the priest, because he’s dying? “I didn’t think about it,” answered Fr. Peter, wanted to finish the letter and go to bed, he believed that the priest had fallen asleep, because he had been moaning like that for about an hour!.. For this he approached the priest and Fr. Peter and we watched together as the priest gave up the ghost: he breathed quietly several times, and his soul was separated from his body. It was 10:40 pm. Father lay on his left side with his head tilted to his shoulder, and remained so. There was not the slightest convulsion. The eyes were closed, the mouth was slightly open. The face was calm, white, pleasant, smiling. Father Peter immediately rubbed the newly deceased with oil, put on a long shirt, and then together we put on a new cassock, belted it with a belt, then a half-mantle and an epitrachelion on top, and put a skuf on his hands instead of a kamilavka. I closed my mouth and combed my hair. Father froze very quickly. On the second day, June 26, the summoned Fr. The archimandrite, one archpriest, one abbot and four hieromonks quietly laid the priest in the coffin, read the canon for the exodus of the soul, served a large requiem mass, and then began to perform the funeral service according to the monastic order. It was pleasant to watch how the clergy surrounded the coffin of the newly deceased monk, quietly sang funeral songs and earnestly prayed for the repose of his soul. All the clergy were dressed in half-robes and stoles. It is worthy of note that all these persons were at work sixty miles from their homes and suddenly a week before the priest’s death they were released. It was as if the father was waiting for them and did not die... The funeral was on Friday, June 27. The coffin was carried through the village on a sleigh through deep sand. Father Peter led the horse, and I supported the coffin. Outside the village they again took the coffin in their arms and carried it across the meadow to the cemetery. At two o'clock in the afternoon they lowered me into the grave, and placed a large cross on the grave. After the funeral, a memorial meal was arranged; twelve monks alone sat at the table. Everyone was happy. I must say that Fr. Peter had the following plans: to deliver the coffin with the priest to the cemetery by boat and bury it, and then perform the funeral service at home in absentia. I energetically opposed this, and the Lord helped arrange it as stated above. Fr. Peter was against organizing a funeral meal, but everything turned out well, and Fr. Peter parted peacefully. Father saw that he was no longer a tenant, he wrote to many that he no longer hoped for a date in this life, but it was not noticeable that he expressed mortal fear. He often said that he did not feel death approaching, and still hoped for recovery and even thought, as stated above, about filing an application with a request to be transferred to another area. He often remembered his mother Ambrosia, saying: “If M. Ambrosia were here, she would tell me everything.” Father even prayed that the Lord would reveal to him or one of his spiritual children whether he would recover or not. About two or a month and a half before the priest’s death, one of his spiritual daughters had a dream: Father Fr. Barsanuphius went to Maria Ivanovna’s house and began to take everything out of the priest’s room. When Father Fr. Barsanuphius took the bed, and the one who had the dream said: - Father, why are you taking out the bed, because Father Nikon will have nowhere to sleep! Father o. Barsanuphius replied: “He’s going to my place, and he doesn’t need a bed, I’ll give him a bed there.” Was this dream, as it were, an answer to prayer? Father wanted to see his loved ones in spirit; he, apparently, really did not want to die. Until his death, Father retained his characteristic cheerfulness, smiled when he felt well, lovingly asked about his spiritual children and acquaintances, and talked about his experiences and sufferings over the last four years of his life. It was impossible to listen to the story of this without tears. The priest’s suffering was great, and patience evokes deep respect. It is worthy of imitation that in all sorrowful circumstances the priest endured everything in silence, did not complain to anyone about anything, thanked God for everything, surrendering himself to the will of God and in this finding peace and joy for the soul. Based on what I heard from the priest, I believe that he fell ill with consumption, if not in Kaluga, then in the camp. Even before leaving for Arkhangelsk, the doctor told him to pay special attention to his health, which had deteriorated greatly. He even advised me to submit an application upon arrival in Arkhangelsk for appointment to the commission: “You,” the doctor said, “may be sent not to the north, but to another place.” But priest, after consulting with Fr. Agapit, did not take any measures in this direction, saying: - Let God's will be done! Consumption could have progressed into transient consumption in the village of Voepala at the end or beginning of this year, when the priest lived in the apartment of a certain old woman Starkova, who mocked the priest like a cruel master over his slave. When this terrible woman finally became convinced that the priest was sick (and before that she kept thinking that the priest was faking) and could not work, she began to kick him out of the house, saying: “Go wherever you want, you can’t work and I don’t need you. Healthy people are asking to come to my apartment to work for me, but you are sick, you’re still going to die, what am I going to do with you then?” The priest's position was hopeless. At this time Fr. came to him. Parthenius, to whom the priest told everything. It was decided on the advice of Fr. Parthenia move to live with Fr. Petru. The last one is on Palm Saturday, March 22 Art. Art., transported the already completely ill priest to his home. I stayed there for seventeen days and met many monks and nuns. They all spoke of the priest as a worthy shepherd, who was endearing to them. Many people came to visit him during his illness. Having learned about his death, they were very sorry and remembered him with love. He often came to Father Fr. Parthenius. He was on good terms with the priest, but was not in prayerful communication with him, therefore he refused to serve the memorial service, saying: - He will be offended by me... I will pray for him at home! The same o. Parthenius raised the eyepiece and, looking at the face of the deceased, said: - Look, now he’s laughing! It would be useful to mention here the dream of the same Fr. Parthenius, which he saw a few days before the death of the priest. O. Parthenius saw: the priest and Kirill with him were heading somewhere, both with suitcases. O. Parfeniy asked: -Will you take me with you? “As you wish, I won’t leave Kirill,” and they both moved on. But it's time for me to finish my memories. I end them with the words of a certain elder, which his lips uttered upon receiving the news of the death of the priest: - So, by the will of God, there was no longer a young man, exemplary in religious, and hence moral views, gifted enough to influence others kindly and be a useful worker in the field of Christ. The Lord arranges everything for the benefit of people for eternal good. So is Fr. Nikon was put through considerable trials so that in the young years of his earthly life he would mature for a good eternity. “Blessed is the path for your soul, for a resting place has been prepared for you.” These words are so applicable to the deceased! He labored for his children, we are covered by the mercy of the Heavenly Father, whose ineffable mercy may not pass us by!.. Eternal memory to you, dear father, benefactor of my soul! The wound is so deep that the slightest touch to it produces a painful sensation... You might be interested in: