Patience Doesn't Have to Destroy Your Personalitytranslated

We often think that patience is the ability to silently endure any adversity. We force ourselves to restrain ourselves, we push our emotions inside. But such “exploits” usually end in nervous breakdowns and damaged relationships. How to avoid this? Is it possible to learn to endure while maintaining peace of mind?

The material was prepared following a live broadcast with psychologist Alexander Tkachenko.

Alexander TKACHENKO

regular author of the Foma magazine, practicing psychologist

Watch the entire broadcast

Share patience and the role of the victim

Healthy patience is not mindless submission, but a conscious choice of a mature person. When making this choice, it is worth remembering the principle of reasonable reciprocity. If one person silently carries the entire burden of a relationship, and the other takes advantage of it, then we are not talking about strength of character, but about banal exploitation. Patience ceases to be a blessing where the destruction of your personality or the indulgence of someone else's selfishness begins. Learn to immediately say “stop” to those who try to abuse your resources.

Voice your boundaries when anger sets in

By forcing ourselves to endure, we inevitably accumulate grievances. And this is a direct path to...