“She knew everything, but didn’t know why”translated

Victor LUZHKOV

Orthodox psychologist and publicist

She came a year and a half after working with a psychologist. She came to me after learning that I was a psychologist with an Orthodox worldview. She herself was far from the Church, although she considered herself a believer. Smart, collected, thirty-four years old, successful marketer. She sat down, folded her hands in her lap, smiled politely and said: “I know all my injuries. I know where the fear of rejection comes from. Why can't I build a relationship? Why am I afraid of intimacy?

She spoke competently, accurately, without tears. It was as if she was reading a report. And at the end she added: “I know everything about myself. I just don’t understand why.”

What is all this for?.. Not to say that working with a psychologist is useless or harmful. It is necessary, and I, as a practicing psychologist, know this firsthand. Now about something else. About what happens to a person when psychology is cut off from what is greater than psychology.

Psychologists have an unwritten rule: if a person understands the cause of pain, the pain will go away. Sounds logical. And partly true. But only partly. You can understand down to the smallest detail why you are afraid of intimacy, and still be afraid. You can work on your inner child for years and remain an adult who cannot...