Disabled child. How to live if you were humiliated in church?translated

Reader question:
Father, hello. I am 38. I left the church, where they brought me a lot of pain, when they found out that I was disabled from childhood and was incapacitated in everyday life. They said a lot of nasty things. Even the priest said that I would be disabled and shouted a lot of bad things. And I’m afraid of screams. “Stop crying,” some parishioners said, I cried at the icon far from everyone, prayed for my loved ones. A year passed and I moved to another church. I forgave, but the pain remains. I take communion and confess. I feel good in another church, but I still feel like I’m in emptiness, maybe I haven’t gotten used to it yet, haven’t adapted. How to forget the pain? She came to the church where she left for healing, but received humiliation. It was six months, I humbled myself, endured, forgave. In the end it got worse. Tired of living with pain. I'm crying. How to trust people in the new church? Aren't you afraid to come up and ask for help and advice? How long will the pain last? How to start living without a past where there was humiliation in the house of God? Is it normal that I cry out that pain while praying at icons or in front of the Chalice of Communion?
Olga
Priest's answer:
Archpriest Andrey EFANOV
God bless you, dear Olga!
I am very sad and sympathize that you had to endure this in the church.…



