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I’m pregnant with my 4th, I’m thinking about an abortion. What to do?translated

September 7, 2026 · 1 min read

Reader question:

Hello. I'm confused and so is my husband. I think it’s pointless to consult with my friends, I’ll get even more confused, so I read on the Internet and, “passing what I read through myself,” I try to understand how I feel. I read the answer to the question I want a fourth child, but my husband is against it. What should I do? Yesterday the pregnancy was confirmed. My husband and I already have three children, all pregnancies were planned and desired. The last child is six years old. There were conversations with my husband that we don’t need any more children, because... and just all the same questions that you have in your answer. And to all these questions, both when it was just speculation, and now, when we found out about the pregnancy, our answer is “no.” On all of the above issues, it’s still not easy for us (I can’t say it’s very hard), but not even a solid four. I had protracted disagreements of a domestic nature with my husband for 3-4 years, now it seems to be better, but the foundation is not yet strong.

There is not enough time for anything, we are financially unstable, everything is not going smoothly with the older children, every time we spend our “last resources” (as it seems to me) to come to an agreement and resolve the problems and tasks of the family. My husband feels the same way. We both get tired, it affects the relationship...

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💬 Comments (5) 🌐 Show original

Thoma Nako

You are thinking about abortion, but you say yourself that every time you loved the child and planned. I have only one son, but I know how tiring it is when you don't even have time for yourself, especially when the marriage has not yet completely calmed down after the fights. Maybe talk to your priest together, without rushing to decide now.

Ana Stanković

Our fourth child arrived suddenly, just when we thought we were done. There was fear and fatigue, but when he was born, somehow the strength was found. It might be a good idea for the two of you to go see your priest for a chat, as Thoma says, before making a final decision. It's not easy, I know.

Radu Nistor

I think it would be good for both of you to see your priest before making any decisions. You clearly wrote that all three pregnancies were wanted and planned, and now, even though resources seem at their limit, this baby did not come by accident. When we had big doubts at home, we also went to the father from the church to clarify, because he sees better than the Internet.

Дмитрий Соловьёв

We also didn’t have a fourth planned, although three were already there and we thought, that’s enough. When my wife said she was pregnant, both of them walked around in a fog for the first few days, especially with finances and the eldest, who was furious at that time in adolescence. But we went to Father Sergius in the church, talked, and somehow inside it became clearer that this child was not an accident. Maybe the two of you should go to your priest before deciding.

Florin Stan

Yes, Radu, the priest is the first one you should go to when it's like this. We did the same a few years ago when we argued badly about money and time, and the father asked us specific questions about how we pray together, not just about the budget. Tell me, did the clergyman help you see things clearly even after that?