Часть I. Воспоминания Игумении Таисии

Father Archpriest John Ilyich Sergiev as a shepherd So let your light shine before men, as they see your good deeds will glorify your Father in heaven. Who in our time does not know the Kronstadt shepherd, the father of Archpriest John Sergiev? Not only our Mother Russia boasts of him, but Europe also knows the name of this Russian shepherd - a name that passes from mouth to mouth in various rumors and judgments about him, in accordance with the personal views of each. They talk about him in the highest spheres and in circles of common people, in bright chambers and in wretched huts, they speak about him both rich and poor, old and small, scientists and simpletons, spiritual and laity, they say a lot and differently: they say that there is good: others - neither, but flatters the nations 1. However, all rumors, not excluding the latter, boil down to one conclusion: “An amazing person!” This is how the spiritually insightful mind exclaims, delving into the power of the beneficial activities of a worthy shepherd, the same will be said by the arrogant sage, alien to spiritual enlightenment, and the ignorant simpleton, who see only the external side of his grace-filled actions. Who has not heard, and perhaps has not experienced on himself personally or on those at home, the miraculous power of the prayers and blessings of Father John, acting not only personally, but also in absentia, sometimes far away, over a thousand-mile space, wherever there is living faith and warm prayerful appeal? Yes, indeed, Father John is an “amazing”, extraordinary person in our time! His pastoral activity, due to the exceptional way of his life and the especially gracious power of his prayers, involuntarily transfers our thought to the times of the primacy of the Church, when the holy apostles went around towns and villages, teaching and preaching the Gospel of the Kingdom of God, healing illnesses 2, awakening sinners to repentance and conversion. In those days, this kind of action was absolutely necessary for the successful spread and strengthening of the Christian faith in its beginnings; the miraculous signs and powers that accompanied the sermon served as the best proof of the gracious power and greatness of faith. In our, say, late time, when the majority of Christians exist only in the name, and not in the spirit of Christ, a time poor in faith and piety, when, according to the word of Scripture, the venerable one is poor: the truth has fallen away from the sons of men 3, when people, voluntarily deviating from the truth, began to invent and create for themselves some new, distorted creeds, when they were so carried away by an addiction to the worldly and vain that they forgot their Divine origin and destiny for eternity, they forgot that they are cohabitants with the saints and dreamed of God 4, and not grass that exists today, but in the morning is swept into the cave 5, in our time, I say, at such a late time, God’s economy raises up a man after His heart 6 - a man of faith and piety, abundantly filled with the gifts of grace, raises up as if for this very purpose, so that he no longer only with the word of Holy Scripture, to which people have become so indifferent that even when they hear it, they do not hear it, 7 but visually, with a living example, to depict before them that moral image of a Christian, which the Christian lost in himself and then became so alienated from him that he began to consider him inaccessibly high, unattainable. He raises it up in the person of not a simple Christian, but precisely a shepherd of the Church, not from among the strong, glorious or powerful of the world, but from among His humble servants, unknown, modest, often despised workers in the field of Christ. In the hand of the Lord is power over the earth, and he raises up what is needed in his time, says the wise Sirach 8. What a clear, living lesson for the flock - to look at their shepherds as the closest servants of Christ and builders of the mysteries of God, 9 predominantly filled with gifts of grace, as sacred vessels of this grace, from which it is poured out inexhaustibly and generously on all believers; on the other hand, what a high example for the shepherds themselves to see the ideal of their service embodied, an ideal accessible to each of them, according to their efforts and dispositions of their hearts. What first of all and most of all stops our thoughts on Father John Sergiev? A deeper, spiritual mind will, of course, first of all, pay attention to the moral height of this spirit-bearing man and to the abundance of his inherent grace, extending to miraculousness. Another, perhaps, will dwell on his popularity, on the question of how he achieved it, becoming what he is now before us? The humble servant of God, Father John, carrying out his ascetic-pastoral ministry in a secluded corner of the Kronstadt Island, obviously not only did not thunder about his great deeds, but, perhaps, never imagined that they would lead him to such an outcome - they were promoted from among the people and placed on the priesthood 10 in front of the whole world, which, of course, amounted to a heavy cross for him, which only his powerful shoulders could bear, with the help of God's grace. But I will glorify those who glorify Me, says the Lord 11; and no one burns a lamp, puts it in secret, but on the candlestick... so that he who enters may see the light: and so let your light be enlightened before men, for they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in Heaven 12 . These words of the Gospel answer questions more clearly than any human word about the reason and purpose of the popularity and activities of Father John. If the task of every Christian is to serve with his life, that is, to contribute to the glorification of the name of God, then all the more this constitutes the duty of the shepherds of the Church, whom the Lord Himself calls the light of the world, the salt of the earth: You are the light of the world, you are the salt of the earth: if the salt overcomes, what will be salted with? 13 The salt of grace inherent in Father John as a shepherd did not overcome him; he can boldly say with the apostle: the grace of God, which is in me, did not come in vain, but I labored more than others, and by virtue of this omnipotent grace, I am what I am, not just I, but the grace of God, which is with me 14. Biographical information about the birth and life of Father John was repeatedly published both in spiritual magazines ("Pilgrim") and in separate brochures 15; but we want to say here a few words about the nature of his inner life as a man of faith and piety, which is why we will mention only those few features from his biography that could bring us somewhat closer to the concept of his inner spiritual life for our edification. Some circumstances from the life of Father John serve as proof that he, as God’s chosen one, was designated by the finger of His providence from the very cradle. Even in infancy, he was honored to see angels in reality: one night, in winter, while lying in bed, the six-year-old baby John saw an unusual light in the room; looking, he saw standing in the midst of him an Angel in his heavenly glorified form; when the baby John naturally became perplexed from the unusualness of such a phenomenon, the Angel calmed him down, calling him his Guardian Angel, always present to him for his protection, protection and salvation from any danger. Then, when he was about ten years old, he saw another vision that had a prophetic meaning for him: he, a ten-year-old baby, saw himself as a priest serving in the Kronstadt St. Andrew's Cathedral, which was shown to him not in the form in which it was at that time, but in the way it was renewed decades later than this vision. It was pleasing to God's providence, even in infancy, to show his chosen one both the image and the very place of his service to the Lord. It was in this church that the toilful spiritual life of Father John began, not only in the sense of his pastoral service, but also in the sense of his strict vigilance over his inner man, constant feats of selflessness, purity, prayer, love for God and neighbors and other Christian virtues, which now, like a precious crown, forged by many years of labor, adorn his pastoral head. Father John himself, as an example of modesty and humility, is always silent about his spiritual exploits and virtues, but they speak for themselves, for a fruit does not grow without a seed. However, we know some of the circumstances he accidentally mentioned. “Do you know,” he once said in a conversation with one person who deeply revered him, “what first of all marked the beginning of my conversion to God and, even in childhood, warmed my heart with love for Him? This is the Holy Gospel. My parent had the Gospel in Slavic-Russian; I loved reading this wonderful book when I came home on vacation: both its style and the simplicity of its speech were accessible to my childish understanding, I read and enjoyed it, and found in this reading high and irreplaceable consolation. This Gospel was with me in theological school. I can say that the Gospel was my childhood companion, my mentor, leader, comforter, with whom I became close from an early age.” Under such conditions, could the naturally soft and kind heart of Father John not be warmed by love for the Lord and not strive for Him? The good seed fell on the good soil, 16 which should in due time produce fruit a hundredfold, sufficient to feed many. The Kingdom of God, says the Lord, is like a mustard seed, which is smaller than all the grains, but when it grows, it is larger than all the grains, and the birds of the air huddle under its canopy 17 . Christ Himself spoke to him with the words of the Holy Gospel, leaving a deep imprint on his pure child’s heart and, as it were, putting His seal on His chosen one. Feeling this stamp on himself in warm love for the Lord, the youth John naturally sought to pour out this love before Him by constantly thinking about Him, that is, by prayer of the heart and mind. Upon entering the school, he not only did not abandon his pious custom of indulging in the thought of God and inner prayer, but he felt an even greater need for them, for, having been separated from his family of origin, he felt even more his loneliness and helplessness and began to cleave his heart even more to the one inseparable from him and his beloved Christ; in Him alone he sought and found both help and consolation. “Prayer,” says Father John, “has always been for me, as it were, a treasury in which I found everything that my soul desired: it delighted my heart, enlightened my mind, and my will gained strength to evade everything that was contrary to God, with which I was afraid of angering and offending the Lord, and through this the fear of God was strengthened in me. The deeper I delved into the meaning of the words of the prayer, the more captivated by their height.” These are the foundations and principles with which spiritual life was born and strengthened in the young heart of the future shepherd of the Holy Church! The grace of God, having chosen in him a vessel worthy of itself, itself protected and, as it were, raised its chosen one from infancy, leading him along a narrow path 18 . And learning books was not easy for him at first; Only through intense diligence, and even more fervent prayer, like the great saint of God, Sergius of Radonezh, did he attract the grace-filled enlightenment of his mental abilities to such an extent that he subsequently became one of the first disciples 19 . Good manners and meekness have always been the hallmarks of his character, 20 which earned him universal respect and love. After completing the course at the Arkhangelsk Seminary, John Sergiev, as one of the best students, was transferred to the St. Petersburg Theological Academy, where in 1855 he graduated from the course with the degree of candidate of theology. Father John's time at the Academy is almost unknown; He himself, according to his custom, is silent about him, and his comrades, of whom very few are known, unanimously say only that he was always distinguished by amazing modesty, silence, quietness of disposition, did not like cheerful societies, which he always avoided, preferring solitude to everything, among which he diligently indulged in reading; He loved music and especially church singing. One incident during the period of the academic life of Father John, relayed by him, we can report here as not devoid of attention: “The first money,” he says, “earned by my personal labor, gave me the opportunity to purchase the long-desired books of St. John Chrysostom - “Explanation of the Gospel of Matthew” and “His Conversations to the People of Antioch” 21. What pleasure these books gave me! I couldn’t tear myself away from them, and sometimes I got so carried away that, forgetting everything around me, I was ready to express out loud and exclaim praises of the wondrous Chrysostom.” All this only proves how pure and sublime both the way of thinking and the aspirations of the soul of the young student Sergiev were, even at that period of life when it is so natural and usual for young men who are completing a course of educational institutions and are already beginning to peer into the independent and free life opening up before him, the vast field of which is unfolding before them, to be carried away by the imaginary beauties of this life and the hope of having fun in freedom after the hard work of studying. What thoughts about the question of how to organize his future destiny (after completing the course) occupied the young student Ioann Sergiev? The love for God and his neighbors, which had taken possession of his heart from an early age, managed to grow and bear fruit, which was revealed in the unchanging desire and firm intention to serve his beloved Lord with all the strength of his soul and body, to contribute to the glorification of His holy name, not only with his own life, but also with the assistance of all his neighbors, which is most convenient and fitting for the shepherd of the Church to do. He decided to accept the priesthood, the height and holiness of which had long been his ideals. He felt his calling to this both according to the aspirations of his soul and according to the revelation that had occurred to him in adolescence. However, many obstacles stand in the way of realizing our highest intentions! External conditions are inevitable companions of spiritual aspirations; they not only oppress us, but sometimes even enslave us, and blessed is that warrior of Christ who is not defeated by them! From the very moment of receiving the grace of the priesthood, the shepherd becomes, as it were, a double person: “an earthly angel and a heavenly man”; Without ceasing to be a carnal, servile 22 person, he at the same time must preserve in himself the light of truth and purity of God-likeness and shed it on all his flock, so that those who are wisely preparing to accept the pastoral ministry cannot fail to recognize the heights and difficulties of it. Is it possible to describe those sublime feelings of the soul that took possession of the entire being of the pious and meek, young in age, but not in the spirit of the priest of God John! “My heart rejoiced at the thought that, by virtue of my pastoral duties, I was becoming, as it were, an accomplice of God 23 in the matter of saving people, but it also trembled with fear at the realization of the difficulty and importance of this matter,” he says. But to whom will I look but to the meek and silent, who trembles at My words? - says the Lord 24. He saw the intentions and aspirations of the soul of His chosen servant and, perceptibly for him, gave him His timely help 25, as Father John himself writes in his diary 26: “From the very beginning of my priestly service I had to wage an unequal, stubborn and cruel struggle to the stomach and to the death; from the very beginning of my priestly service, I had to pray intensely to the Lord of hosts, as I now pray, that He, the All-Merciful One, would teach my hands to fight, my fingers to fight, 27 invisible, stubborn, fierce warfare. And I am not left helpless in this saving battle; I raised my eyes, full of tears, to heaven, from where help always came to me 28, although sometimes not suddenly and not quickly, due to my former inexperience in temptations in prayer” 29. Awareness of the height of his calling aroused in him deep self-attention, so that life, no less than words, would serve as an edification for his flock. This is how Father John himself speaks about this: “With constant internal temptations, I had to constantly turn my spiritual eye inward in order to discern attacks from internal enemies, and thus I accustomed myself to almost unceasing spiritual contemplation and secret prayer” 30. Under such conditions of his life, prayer, to which his heart had become accustomed since childhood, became for him a greater and greater need, or, as he puts it, his “air,” without which he cannot breathe. For him it is not limited to either time or place, but everywhere and always his mind is prayerfully tuned. Not content with the opportunity to satisfy such a need of the spirit in the continuation of the day, part of which is certainly taken over by various duties and the very anger of the day, he devoted to it also part of the night’s rest, if one can call his night’s solitude “rest.” How many bright thoughts and blessed insights illuminated the ascetic priest then! Compiling them in his heart 32, secretly from everyone, he trusted them only to paper, which thus served as a repository of mysterious treasures. “The Lord often granted me,” says Father John, “wonderful inner insights and bright thoughts; I tried not to let them go unnoticed and wrote them down in my diary” 33. Such records multiplied even more when, by the will of his superiors, Father John was appointed teacher of the law, first at the school, and then at the men's gymnasium 34. He himself says about this: “Teaching the high truths on subjects of faith and piety to the students, I tried to explain them to them as clearly as possible, so that they would not give rise to bewilderment or doubts in them, but would achieve the goal - spiritual enlightenment and moral success. To do this, I myself had to think and go deeper, and often I felt some kind of enlightenment of thoughts and feelings; it embraced not only the subjects taught to the students, but also enlightened the mind much more widely. I wrote down such bright thoughts, and over the course of many years, entire books were compiled from these notes, which are now published under the title: “My Life in Christ.” Indeed, the life of Father John was and is life in Christ; he never lived in himself and for himself, but in Christ and for Christ, Whom he constantly contemplated before him mentally, prayerfully and saw Him in the face of his neighbors, according to the word of the great apostle of love, Saint John the Theologian: he who loves God loves and his brother 35. For them he did not spare himself, being everything to everyone, so that everyone might gain something 36. And now the residents of Kronstadt still remember with tears about that unforgettable and happy time for them, when their dear Father, Father John, not yet being so burdened with outside visitors and his own absences for the needs of suffering humanity, belonged more to them, or, more accurately, gave himself entirely to them. Often he himself, without prior invitation, visited them, especially when some kind of grief or illness occurred, or where a person’s mental state required reproof, admonition or reinforcement. There would be many examples of this if you asked the residents of the city of Kronstadt; but here, without any preliminary questions, I can cite several of them, which I heard completely by chance from the very people with whom they happened. One Kronstadt merchant (merchant or tradesman - I don’t know), and to this day is still engaged in his business, once in a conversation with me about Father John told me the following: “When I was still a very young man, I lost my wife, who left me with a young and only son. I grieved greatly, at times I reached the point of despondency; not only the loss of my dearly beloved friend in life tormented me, but also the thought of my future fate. I felt and realized that I was unable to raise my six-year-old son, who, as one would expect, without maternal supervision, left to his own devices, began to indulge, so that I could rightly fear for his morality; there were omissions and losses in trading, and I began to consider it pointless - for whom and for what, I thought, should I trade? My son is still so small, and what else will come of him?! Complete disappointment with life filled my soul. To get rid of the melancholy that oppressed me, I began to seek solace outside the house, with friends, in wine, and, unbeknownst to myself, little by little I became a drunkard. Time passed; My little son grew up according to his will, I was almost not involved in trade at all, leaving the shop to the clerks, and was only waiting for the opportunity to completely finish it. One morning I was walking down the street and I saw Father John Sergiev coming towards me, probably straight from the cathedral from mass; met me, blessed me, and said: “I’m coming to you, brother, I should talk to you a little.” So we came to my apartment, Father sat down, and said: “I feel sorry for you, servant of God! I’ve been watching you for a long time, I thought whether you would come to your senses, but finally I came out to help you; listen to me, throw off the blues, it’s the enemy who is trying to catch you with it, and if you don’t correct yourself, look, it will be bad. Stop drinking, don’t leave home unless absolutely necessary, quit trading and don’t even think about it, do it yourself; remember that you are not alone - you have a son, do not ruin him and yourself; It’s time to teach him - teach him to read and write, take him with you to the shop, teach him little by little how to do business; and you will have more fun, and with God’s help he will get used to the job - he will be a man, your helper, and in his old age, your breadwinner, your consolation. Do you hear, start from today, stop wandering the streets idle; You were a man, and remain a man!” With these words, Father stood up, put on his stole and said: “Well, to begin the matter you need to pray; Let us pray more earnestly to the Lord God, so that He will help us repent and come to the understanding of truth." And he began to pray, and with tears, our dear, he prayed for me, a sinner. Then he blessed my son and me, promised to visit and pray for us, and left. It was as if I had woken up from a long, heavy sleep; and our apartment seemed dearer to me. With tears of remorse, I hugged my son and only then did I feel how guilty I was towards him, because I almost ruined him. With Father’s blessing, I set to work. Father really visited me, sometimes talked for a long time, consoled me, supported me, caressed and instructed my son; The trade situation got better within a year, and I became a “man”, for the prayers of our angel Father. So this is what our Father John is like - there are few like him in the world!” – the merchant added and thus ended the story. Indeed, how dear is timely help and support to a person in grief and temptation, it can save his life; especially if this support comes from the shepherd, in whose person the Christian sees something higher, sacred, and treats him with comparatively great trust and respect. Another example: one highly noble maiden N.T., personally known to me, told me the following about herself: “Fate early made me suffer and languish with life; From an early age I was not loved by my family; naturally sickly, undeveloped, incapable of anything, but pampered, nervous, I was a burden both to others and to myself. They sent me to college, but after three years I was expelled due to my inability to study; Studying was difficult for me, and I had no desire for it, just like I never had for anything; I was nicknamed there “loser,” and this nickname has been ringing in my ears all my life, and I cannot help but recognize its justice. At the time when I was expelled from the institute, my father was no longer alive; my mother, a weak, sickly woman, did not have the means to support me as we lived under my father; We spent our days with her in hardships and sorrows; but then finally my mother dies, leaving me without means, without shelter, and even without any opportunity to earn food for myself by any kind of labor. Where could I lay my head? Always sick, boring, dissatisfied, alienated from everyone, or, as it seemed to me, neglected by everyone, I stayed alternately with some relatives or friends, but, seeing or imagining that I was not welcome anywhere, I continued to wander, not being able to find shelter anywhere. One of the families I knew (the Karpinskys) lived in Kronstadt, where I went with them. After staying with them for several days and not finding, as it seemed to me, sincerity, I soon got bored and began to think about leaving, but where? The only good thing for me in Kronstadt was that no one knew me there, and, taking advantage of the summer time, I could freely retire from everyone, either somewhere on the shore, or on the boulevard, huddling on a secluded bench, and indulge in my sad thoughts and tears. One day it was especially difficult for me: my situation seemed so bleak and hopeless that I was thinking about a plan to end my useless and painful existence, even by violent death, since I could not find any other outcome. Sitting in such a sad mood, I didn’t even notice how the priest came up to me and, bowing warmly, silently sat down at the other end of the bench. Not knowing him, like anyone else in Kronstadt, and not wanting to share my difficult impression with anyone, I stood up and wanted to leave, but an unfamiliar priest stopped me and, as if apologizing, said: “I disturbed you, it seems, excuse me, but, passing by here, I could not help but notice the heavy mood of your soul, testifying to deep sorrow, and like a shepherd, although unfamiliar to you, but according to the rank of shepherd and not a stranger, I allowed myself to approach you and talk with you with a feeling of sincere participation; do not hesitate - reveal to me your sorrow; perhaps through me, a sinner, the Lord will calm and comfort you.” Touched by such participation of a complete stranger to me, I cried bitterly, but could not say anything other than: “I’m unhappy, superfluous in the world!” - “The great mind of the Creator could not create anything unnecessary!” - Father answered me and, pointing to a bug crawling along the sand, he continued: “Look, what is more helpless, more insignificant than this insect? But it is not superfluous, and it brings some benefit, and it is not forgotten and not abandoned by the Creator! And you, being a man, this beloved creation of God, despair of His mercy! Tell me your sorrow, tell me what happened to you.” Here I poured out my whole soul before the good Father; It seemed to me that no one had ever spoken to me with such sympathy, no one had consoled me so much. He seemed to me like an angel sent by God to save me from death, which was already so close to me. With sincere fatherly love, he talked to me, encouraged, consoled, showed me the path of life, which I follow to this day and never cease to thank him. He did not reveal his name to me, calling himself only one of the cathedral priests. When, returning to my friends, I explained to them his appearance, they recognized him as Father John Sergiev, adding that he was a wonderful, holy man.” Here are two examples of many similar ones in the multilateral pastoral activity of Father John at the beginning of his priestly service: he not only responded to those asking for his help, but he himself sought those who required it, as a true shepherd, as a successor and imitator of the apostles, so that in every way, that is, in any way, he could save the 37 helpless, lost sheep of Christ. And he brought not only moral relief, but also material help to the suffering, providing it to all who asked, without exception, without distinction, according to the word of the Lord: Give to him who asks from you, and do not turn away a loan from him who wants to borrow from you 38 . Where did Father John’s hand of mercy extend, both openly and even more so secretly? Everywhere, like a bright comforting angel, he shed the light of goodness and mercy, and not only did this himself, but also persuaded others, both private individuals and public figures, to do the same. He was the first to suggest the idea of ​​​​building a House of Diligence 39 in Kronstadt, where a homeless poor man could earn his daily bread with honest labor and thus not serve as a burden for his fellow citizens. He was the first to insist on the necessity and benefit (for which he had to work for a very long time) to open a guardianship for the poor at the cathedral 40 . He is also one of the first advisers, in order to perpetuate the memory of the Tsar-Liberator, to build another House of Diligence, and when this house, not yet finished, burned down 41, then Father John, together with his employees in the matter of public assistance, extends his hand not only in building a new one, but even in providing it with inviolable capital. All such merits of Father John as a public figure were described repeatedly both in magazines and in separate publications; here, speaking about him as a true shepherd, we mention them only briefly, so as not to ignore his external merits, as having such extensive and beneficial significance for society. Over time, the activity of Father John expands more and more and finally reaches such proportions that one cannot help but be surprised at how strong this selfless worker, the good shepherd of Christ’s flock, has enough strength, both physical and moral. It fulfills the words of the Apostle Paul, which he said about himself: I am weak, and I do not faint, 43 but I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Every day, from early morning, Father John appears in the Church of God to perform Matins and then the Divine Liturgy. Long before the start of Matins, hundreds and thousands of people crowd at the entrance of the church where his service is supposed to take place, and, despite any weather, they stand in the open air, waiting for the doors to open. Everyone is vying to take a place closer to the bars, that is, to the salt, in order to more conveniently and closely see and hear the dear and beloved Father, in order, if possible, to have the opportunity to say a few words with him, open their conscience, convey their request, or simply receive a blessing. Some of the men try to get into the altar for this purpose. And the loving Father does not leave anyone unattended and, as far as time allows him, tries to satisfy and console everyone. Father John always listens to the reading of the Six Psalms with special attention, for which, in order to avoid conversations with visitors who address him, he usually retires for this time to the altar or altar (when another priest is serving Matins), or to some more secluded place on the altar, where he is completely immersed in prayerful concentration. He always reads the canons himself in the choir, where he helps the singers and sing the irmos; his reading is always particularly expressive and clear; it is clear that his soul is completely imbued with what he reads and he is completely transported to the region of the celestials, whose memory the Church pleases with the words of the canon. “Divine service,” he writes in his diary, “is for me an invaluable and greatest benefit in life; in worship - the whole life of our soul, all its treasure; here is her homeland, her education, healing, her food and drink, her strength and glory, her shrine and life” 45. More than once, but many times, Father John spoke to me personally, from the abundance of his heart, warmed by love for the Lord and His saints: “How great is God’s mercy towards us sinners! What invaluable heavenly consolation He left for us on earth in His Holy Church! And every day this joy and spiritual sweetness is given to us; Here we glorify the holy saints of God, - we remember the exploits of the saints, the sufferings of the martyrs, the valor of the saints, apostles and most of all our blessed Intercessor, the Mother of God, - we are transported mentally to the days of their earthly life, we see high examples to follow - after all, they were the same people as we are, but they loved the Lord and managed to please Him; Here we sing praises to them and please them, and they, in turn, as if in reward for our love for them, remember us before the Throne of God in heaven, pray for us as for their younger brothers, and we feel this tangibly, tangibly! Do you believe this? “I believe, Father,” I answered, “how can I not believe!” “Yes, truly,” he continued, “how could one not believe, but unfortunately, there are unfortunate ones - non-believers, we must pray for them! And the Divine Liturgy - what a wondrous sacrament! This is a foretaste of future bliss, this is a heavenly mystery, incomprehensible to angels, and we, sinful people, perform, perform sacred acts! Once, in such a conversation, I dared to tell him: “You, Father, feel so strongly and deeply, as if you were experiencing everything you do.” “I’m not worried,” he answered, “but I’m feeling it, and how could it be otherwise? After all, the Body and Blood of Christ are presented before me; The Lamb of God is “ever slain, sanctifying those who partake” 47. God appears in the flesh 48, as it is said: The Word became flesh and dwelt in us, and we saw His glory 49. Yes! Indeed, we see and feel it all!” Anyone who saw Father John perform the Divine Liturgy (not in concelebration with others, but himself, personally), I think, could not help but notice some special freedom and greatness of spirit, giving his service some kind of solemnity. Once I once expressed this to Father John himself, to which he answered me: “You are not the only one who says this, many have noticed this to me; I myself can’t say anything to this.” His prayer about this is beautifully expressed in his diary: “O most holy, almighty, all-good Head of Your Church, Lord Jesus Christ, Alpha and Omega, Beginning and End! Grant me, unworthy, the grace to perform Thy shrine 50, that is, Thy divine service, holy, peacefully and firmly; Cleanse my heart from all passion and from all slander of the enemy! Inflame me with Your heavenly fire, and not only me, but also all those who stand and pray to You with me during my service! Humble the hearts of the arrogant of this age; subdue their minds to Your truth and their hearts to Your Word; recreate, renew Your people, O Lord! I am weak, but may Your strength be made perfect in my weaknesses 51!” 52 At almost every Liturgy of Father John there are communicants; and there are always quite a lot of people who want to confess to him and partake of the Holy Mysteries. Here is a review of this confession by one St. Petersburg resident, expressed quite accidentally by him: leaving the Kronstadt Cathedral, we met him at the door; Surprised by this surprise, I turned to him: “And you are here, D.E.?” - “But of course, after all, we also want, as they say, to come into the mind of truth 53; If you stay here and listen to Father’s speeches, your soul will soften and you will live better. I’m here with my whole family, my wife and son, they’re still in church, they stayed for late mass.” “Do you come here often?” – I asked. “Yes, they now begin to visit Kronstadt often, and they begin to fast at home more often; Here Father John orders us to fast as often as possible; when he comes to our apartment in St. Petersburg, he keeps asking: “Has it been a long time since you cleared your conscience through repentance? Fast, fast more often,” he says. Yes, thanks to him, he reborn our capital,” he added. In this story there is not only not a shadow of fiction, but also not a single added word; on the contrary, I tried to convey it more concisely for the sake of brevity. Indeed, one of the features of Father John as a shepherd is, by the way, that he always tries to instill in everyone the need for the most frequent fasting and communion of the Holy Mysteries as the only source of our spiritual renewal and reunification with God. “Poor people! - he exclaims in his notes, - if you knew, if you fully understood, what a great treasure, what a gift you are depriving yourself of by moving away from the Holy Chalice! What a Divine, priceless, life-giving, immortal gift of God, what help in your spiritual needs and weaknesses! This is why there is no true life in Orthodox Christians, life according to the spirit of Christ - because they distance themselves from Christ! That is why vices and disasters have multiplied among people! That is why all creation has armed itself against us - in revenge on the enemies of God who have retreated from their Creator! All nature, all the elements: air, water, fire, death in all its forms execute those who retreat from the Source of life!” “Oh, how many blessings God gives us every day in the Divine Liturgy! How do Christians feel about it? Cold, indifferent, inattentive. What boundless love of God for us sinners is expressed daily in the Divine Liturgy! How close God is to us! Here He is, on the throne; come and see 54! Taste and see 55! What a wonderful conversation! What happiness and blessedness of our nature in this acceptance of Christ within ourselves - purification, renewal, peace, greatness, freedom, glory, life and immortality! Oh, poor, poor people, what are you depriving yourself of under the empty pretexts of vain worldly concerns! You say: “I am unworthy, a sinner,” - repent, here is purification, here is the Son of God, who came into the world to save sinners, and not the righteous! 56 You say: “I am busy, I don’t have time,” - do six days and do your work in them, and although one day in the week - the seventh - devote to the Lord your God 57. Render what is Caesar's to Caesar's, and what is God's to God's 58. Be abolished and understand 59 . We find time for everything: for food and drink, for rest and peace, for the affairs of everyday vanity, for fun, theaters, games, often harmful and sinful in pleasing our passions - for everything there is time, but to visit the church of God, to listen with due attention to the Divine Liturgy, much less to speak and partake of the Holy Mysteries, we have no time, no leisure. Meanwhile, we know that in the early days Christians bahued in church, praising and blessing God 60; we know that they began the Holy Meal every week, repenting and confessing their sins out loud before the whole Church" 61 . This is how Father John writes, this is how he preaches in church, this is how he teaches from home, everywhere he goes, and he confirms his teaching with his own example - by partaking of the Holy Mysteries every day. To this daily communion he attributes the strength and strength that supports and encourages him in his amazing labors among his extensive activities. “The Lord strengthens me,” he says, “the Lord, with whom I unite daily through Holy Communion, otherwise where could I draw strength for such constant, intense labors, with which I try to serve for the glory of His holy name and for the salvation of my neighbors!” Directly from the church, Father John goes to the apartments of the city of Kronstadt, where many people who came to see him are waiting for him. In each room he serves a short prayer service with blessing of water, and sometimes not just one, but several. Entering the room, Father John first of all invites everyone present to prayer: “Let us pray,” he says. – Our Lord Jesus Christ said: where there are two or three congregations in My name, there I am in the midst of them 62. So we, who have gathered here in His name, must believe that He Himself is present here with us, being invisibly in the midst of us, accepting our prayers, which we will send to Him with undoubted faith and with warm love, like children to their Heavenly Father.” Then everyone begins to pray. At the end of the prayer, Father John greets everyone with his gentle, loving gaze; he tries to console, encourage, satisfy everyone; listens to those who separately turn to him for advice or with their needs; He provides those who ask him for material help to the best of his ability, often giving him money for prayer services or for memorials - he immediately gives it to those asking. Having thus satisfied everyone in one house, he goes to another, where the same thing is repeated. Having visited all the private apartments and the House of Diligence, where visitors stay, Father John hurries to the steamship pier, and in the winter to Oranienbaum on a railway train, from where he goes to St. Petersburg, where, in turn, tens and hundreds of families await his arrival, like a bright holiday: where a desperately ill person, abandoned by doctors, awaits relief from the holy and powerful prayers of Father Father John; where a difficult family issue awaits a solution from his blessing; where a misunderstanding in some important matter seeks guidance in the advice of Father John, in which they see an indication from above. Yes, in essence, this is how it happens; Often, to questions of a serious and more spiritual nature, even if, in our opinion, they do not require delay, Father John does not immediately answer, saying: “We need to pray about this, as the Lord will indicate,” and then, after some time, he answers decisively and firmly. Others wait for Father John as a comforter angel, considering his visit to be the great mercy of God, bringing peace and blessing from above into their homes; and it is the custom of Father John, upon entering each apartment, to greet its owners with the words of the Savior: peace be with you! 63 - and what is surprising if this peace is felt by the sons of peace and rests on them, according to the true word of the Savior: if there be that son of peace, your peace will rest on him 64. What joy, what delight is felt in the family that Father John visited; and not only the owners themselves, but also those strangers who, thanks to a happy accident, managed to get into the apartment where he prayed and talked, enthusiastically tell their friends: “We saw Father John, he was here,” or: “We received his blessing,” and the like. Why is this happening? Is it due to the people’s, sometimes perhaps even unaccountable, faith in Father John? Or is there really some kind of force in him that attracts people’s hearts to him, and if there is one, what exactly is it, and how can one explain this attraction of hearts to him, this selfless trust and love for him? One day he himself was asked a similar question: “Father, why is it that I feel so light in my soul when I’m around you, so good that I wouldn’t even want to part with you?” “According to your faith,” answered the humble shepherd, “but in addition, the grace of God, which rests most abundantly on God’s servants, His priests, is communicated to believers according to their own readiness and ability to accept it. We, shepherds, must only help God’s actions over human hearts, we must catch their ready dispositions for improvement and try to support and strengthen such dispositions. We, shepherds, must be in the circle of our flock, in the spiritual world the same as the sun in nature: just as light and warmth are inseparable from the sun, so the holiness, teaching and love imparted to them by the grace of God must be inseparable from the face of the shepherd. It’s light and warm closer to the sun, - it’s warm and light for the soul next to the shepherd, adorned by the grace of God.” This is what Father John says, teaching everyone not to distance themselves from their shepherds, to whom the Lord has entrusted the entire work of saving His people, redeemed by Him with His Holy Blood 65 . He himself takes advantage of every smallest opportunity to admonish and strengthen people in the matter of salvation. Having thus traveled until late evening through the streets of the capital from one house to another with the aim of providing spiritual help to the suffering and mutual prayer, Father John finally went on the train to go back to Kronstadt, where he arrived no earlier than eleven o’clock at night. Both on the way and at the very house he is met and accompanied by whole rows of beggars, whom he bestows alms through some trusted person. Every day more than a thousand of these poor people (1500 or 1700) come to receive this alms as “an inalienable pension” from Father John for their daily bread, as they put it. Around midnight, and often even after midnight, Father John finally enters the threshold of his apartment, exhausted to the last extreme. But even here it is doubtful to assume that he could use the remaining four hours of the night entirely to calm himself down with sleep. How many letters he brings with him every day, which are thrust into his hands at almost every step on the ship, wherever they expect his appearance. This is how Father John’s toiling life goes from day to day. And how many sick, crippled, and possessed by spirits are brought to Father John every day from different places asking for his holy prayers for healing. His loving heart cannot refuse anyone, especially those who are suffering; he willingly takes on prayer work, which he considers not work, but only the fulfillment of his pastoral duty - a pleasant, sweet thing, “the food of his soul.” “I stand,” he says, “at the Source of life daily, hourly, unceasingly: that is, I stand with my Lord, both in the church at His throne, and at home, and on the way, and on the street, and everywhere I stand before Him in mind and spirit!” 66 His whole life is a continuous thread of prayer, which is crossed only by those who turn to him with verbal requests and questions, but even at the same time, his always prayerfully disposed soul, having satisfied the interlocutor, again returns to its “inner work” (monastic expression) - to secret prayer. And the prayer of faith of this shepherd, according to the word of the Gospel, saves the sick 67 from mental and physical ailments. He does not think proudly about whether the sick person will be healed through his prayer or not; he knows that if it is for the benefit of the sick person, the Lord will return him to health, and if he does not return it, then this is His holy will, to redeem the soul from eternal torment through temporary suffering. He sees a suffering person, hears his cries and cannot help but strive to help him. He hears in his heart the words of the Lord: Ask, and it will be given to you 68 and if you ask in prayer - believingly - it will be for you 69, hears and on the basis of these words asks, without hesitating 70, but with firm faith in the Almighty, with undoubted hope in the Merciful and with selfless love for the Source of love and all good. And what a success this prayer has been - can be seen from the reviews of grateful petitioners from afar and from different localities, who come specifically to “thank Father” for the healing received through his prayers! Father John himself tells everyone this: “The great mercy of God appears on me, unworthy and most sinful of all, but do not attribute anything like my strength or prayer, what do I have to do with it? I am weak, like everyone else, and even weaker than others! This is the power of God’s grace, according to your faith, and not according to my sinful prayers.” He repeats these same words at the beginning of his book “Diary” 71: “My power is made perfect in weakness,” says the Apostle Paul 72; this power and grace of the Lord abounded in me, weak and sinful, all the days of my life. Glory, O Lord, to Thy power and Thy mercy!” Such is the humility of a great man of prayer, a selfless worker! These are the properties of true humility: Not to us, Lord, not to us, but to Thy name it is rained down the glory of Thy mercy and Thy truth. let not when the pagans say, Where is their God? 73 (that is, so that those of little faith do not say that now there are no more miracles, now is not what it was before). From the beginning of Christianity to the present day, the Lord God has not ceased and does not cease to show various signs and wonders to strengthen our weak faith - both from miraculous icons, and from the holy relics of God's saints, or in some other way. The proud, arrogant, but at the same time blind human mind, or, as the apostle says, relying on the mind of God 74, seeks how to eclipse the glory of God with its imaginary wisdom and present its truth to the truth of God 75, always tries to explain such signs and wonders by chance, circumstances, predisposition or anything else, just to prevent the triumph of truth and the power of faith. But among the very people of our century there appears one of them, a man of faith, in the person of the shepherd of the Church. He expresses this faith with one humble, warm prayer to God, like a child to his father, he speaks artlessly, trustingly, simply-heartedly, sincerely; and this prayer of faith is accepted by those who promised to listen: to all who call on Him in truth, to do the will of those who fear Him and to hear their prayers 76 . Was it not the boi, that is, the simple-hearted and humble, whom God chose to put to shame the wise of this age 77? O holy faith! You clearly prove to us that now, as before, everything is possible for those who believe 78 - and every verb 79 does not fail with God, but speaks - and does not it abide? 80 You rise before us in the same power with which you shone in the first times of Christianity! You move the mountains of 81 arrogant modernity and drown them in the sea of ​​your greatness! “Oh holy faith! - Father John writes in his diary, - with what words, with what songs will I glorify you for countless the blessings bestowed upon me by you, for all the powers that you have done and are doing on me and through me, a sinner, on the people of God! Glory to Thee, God, our Benefactor forever and ever! Be known, O Lord, in Thy faith, to all Thy people, and to all the tribes of the earth, as Thou art known to me, unworthy! Be known, O Lord, that all may glorify You with one mouth 82 and one heart, from the east of the sun to the west. Wake up, wake up!” 83 “What is most precious to me,” writes Father John in another place in his diary, “what is above everything in the world for me? What is dearest and highest to me is my God, my Creator, the Lord and glory to His name! He is my life and my strength, He is the light of my soul, the true Light that enlightens every person 84, “Christ is my strength, my God and Lord” 85. And after God, the most precious thing for me is the soul of my neighbor, my brother, for whom my Lord died and acquired it for Himself at such a dear price 86. After this, will I neglect my brother, whom the Lord has exalted so much! Will I regret anything for him? no matter what is perishable, temporary, and not only anything, but also oneself!” O holy, all-encompassing love! In how many hearts do you reign so completely, in how many souls do you shine with such a flame? Yes, happy is he who can say so; and Father John justifies these words by his very deed: love for God and his neighbors in him are not distinguished from one another; they are like two wings - one does not act without the other, but together they lift him above the earth and spiritualize him until he forgets his outer man. For the sake of his neighbors, he does not spare himself, does not give himself rest, does not know peace, completely surrendering himself to the needs of his neighbors. “The priest,” he writes, “is an apostle in his flock; he must preach the Kingdom of God in a timely and untimely manner 87: he must awaken those who are careless, careless, and living in passions to repentance and correction; to admonish the ignorant, to encourage the pious and encourage them with the hope of future reward. For this purpose, he must also go from house to house – visit his flock, directly observe their way of life, so that he can more conveniently guide them in the work of salvation, and not just to accept refreshments from them” 88. As for this latter, in this respect too the way of life of Father John is exceptional. Each of us, who has our own corner and home, also has a certain hour to refresh ourselves with food. Does Father John have such a time and place? Didn’t he voluntarily condemn himself to labor and hardships of all kinds, not excluding this last one? Of course, everyone who invited him to their apartment considers it the greatest happiness to treat a dear guest, but doesn’t Father John himself shy away from this, which anyone who pays attention to him cannot help but notice? Firstly, he can never set an hour for his visit, due to the multitude of petitioners, among whom there are those who cannot tolerate delay, such as those who are seriously ill or leaving on a journey, and the like. Wanting to satisfy everyone as much as possible, Father John is always in a hurry, and, having completed his pastoral prayer work, although he eats a little of the meal offered to him, for the most part consisting of tea, fruit and a glass of wine, which is absolutely necessary to strengthen his always tense and exhausting strength, he hastens to continue his journey further. It often happens that throughout the whole day he does not have to adequately refresh himself with food anywhere, but he does not seek this, being content with little, accepting everything that happens to him as from the hand of God, to the guidance of which he completely surrenders, like a submissive son to his father, caring only about pleasing Him by fulfilling his pastoral calling: “My goodness is,” he says in the words of the Savior, “let me do my will.” Him who sent me and will do His work. This is the will of Him who sent Me, that they may have eternal life 89. One St. Petersburg archpriest once said to Father John: “You are so tired, Father, you don’t give yourself any rest!” To this Father John answered him: “What do I need peace for, my friend! Our peace will be there (he pointed to the sky), if only we earn it here. And can the shepherd be at peace when not all the sheep yet hear his voice, 90 and some do not want to hear it? others groan and beg for help themselves; shouldn’t the shepherd rush to their aid? How many groans, tears, needs, sorrows, infirmities, how many sins our sheep have!.. Should the shepherd rest or slumber when their destruction does not sleep 91.” Yes, this valiant shepherd, Father John, does not sleep, and does not give himself rest! It was as if he had set his mind to sacrificing himself entirely to his pastoral service, and there were no obstacles for him in this! Oh, if only this lofty example of Father John could find more imitators! Oh, if only there were more such shepherds! Many tears would be wiped away, many moans and screams would subside! Many cold souls would be warmed by love and a spark of life-giving faith would flutter in hearts suppressed by despondency! The harvest is plentiful, says Jesus Christ to the shepherds in the person of His apostles: the harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few: pray therefore to the Lord of the harvest, that He may bring forth laborers into His harvest 92 . The stay of the father of Archpriest John Sergiev in the Leushinsky monastery in 1899 On July 1, at eleven o'clock in the afternoon, a telegram was received from Archpriest John Sergiev from Kirillov to the city of Cherepovets addressed to the abbess of the Leushinsky monastery, who was expecting her, with the following content: “This morning we passed Kirillov.” Having calculated the time, Abbess Taisiya expected the arrival of the dear guest at about three o'clock in the afternoon, which she announced to the representatives of the city, who were also interested in the arrival of the highly revered shepherd and wanted to ask him to honor their city with a service in the city cathedral church. By general agreement, it was decided to take a separate steamer and go to meet Father with all the zealous, led by the owner of the steamship, Mr. Milyutin, the cathedral archpriest and others, and the abbess of the Leushinsky monastery with several singing sisters living at the courtyard church 93. Abbess Taisiya went straight to the steamship pier, and the others, while waiting for the steamer to get ready, went off to do their homework. Suddenly, at about 12 and a half o'clock in the afternoon, a small, beautiful steamer appeared not far away, very quickly approaching the pier. Everyone recognized it as Father John’s steamship “St. Nicholas the Wonderworker.” Soon its owner himself, Archpriest John, appeared on the gangway, greeting with bows and blessing the audience who were on the pier and on the shore. The steamer landed at the city pier, and news of this instantly spread throughout the city, whose representatives, who were about to go out to meet them, were not slow to arrive, and behind them other citizens flocked to the blessing of the common “dear Father.” Everyone earnestly asked him to stop in the city and serve the Liturgy the next day, but he consoled them with a promise to fulfill this request by returning from the Leushinsky monastery, where he intended to stay for several days. At about two o'clock in the afternoon the steamboat "St. Nicholas" set sail from the city pier; The abbess, Abbess Taisiya, and a few singers rode on it, and they immediately filled the air with the joyful and solemn singing of the Easter Canon. The priest stood on the gangway and blessed the people, who from the shore continued to bow and wave scarves and hats until the steamer moved away. At about five o'clock in the evening we arrived at the pier of the Leushinsky monastery "Borki" 94, where the monastery house is located, like a hotel for visitors. While the horses were being prepared, Father visited this house, sat on the balcony overlooking the garden on the banks of the Sheksna, admired the area and soon went to the monastery. Greeted by the ringing of bells, Father John proceeded straight to the abbess's cells, prepared for him, since an all-night vigil was going on in the cathedral church 95 and it was inconvenient to disrupt the divine service by meeting. Meanwhile, some of the guests and the clergy gathered in the abbess’s cells. Father, having greeted everyone and given everyone a blessing, went to the balcony overlooking the garden; the weather was fine; The coolness of the evening after a hot day gave welcome peace to the traveler, weary of constant activity, and he settled down here to have tea. Unnoticed, by order of the abbess, the sister singers made their way into the garden, and suddenly the air was filled with the harmonious singing of Father’s beloved Irmos of the canon of the Dormition of the Mother of God of the Kiev chant. Father listened to the singing with visible pleasure, then several more chants were sung, after which Father, thanking the singers, said an edifying greeting to them and sent them off in peace. The guests also did not detain him and, having accepted the blessing, left, wanting to give peace to Father. However, he himself was not looking for peace of mind; after the lightest, moderate snack, he went down into the garden to indulge in prayer in solitude, and walked for a long time along the shady alleys of the garden, completely absorbed in prayer. The next day, July 2, Father John performed Matins and Liturgy, at the end of which he said a teaching about the greatness of the Mother of God, Her heavenly glory and Her intercession for people before Her Eternal Son and God (since on this day the Holy Church remembers “the position of the belt of the Mother of God” 96). After the Liturgy, at the request of Father John, all arriving guests and clergy were invited to tea and snacks, collected in the garden due to the extreme heat and tight air in the rooms. When Father John walked from the cathedral to the abbess’s cell, on the porch of the latter, on a bench, was placed a sick woman, who, despite all efforts, could not be brought into the church, and even here, with difficulty, several people could barely restrain her. She struggled, slid off the bench, screamed furiously and tore. When Father John entered the porch, she flew into a complete frenzy, bending over with her whole body, so that her head almost touched the floor. It took a lot of effort to straighten her, at least somewhat, or to keep her from convulsing. Father, stopping in front of her, made the sign of the cross over her and gently told her: “Calm down!” Instead, she growled beastly and began to thrash harder than before. Father repeated again: “Calm down and look at me!” But she closed her eyes tightly, tore her hair, her face turned purple, and in general her appearance was terrible. With great difficulty the people restrained her; Finally, Father took her head with both hands and blew in her face, and instantly her cry turned into a groan. The priest crossed her and again blew into her face three times, saying: “In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.” Then he prayed over her for a long time, holding her head with both hands and often marking her with the sign of the cross. She apparently calmed down and even began, albeit reluctantly, to look at Father on his orders, then she crossed herself, which she had not wanted to do before, and finally her face took on its usual appearance: instead of a purple color it became calm - she crossed herself without coercion and quite often, saying: “Glory to Thee, Lord!” The same words were repeated by the great prayer book himself, Father John, and by everyone who witnessed the miraculous healing. (I involuntarily recall the Gospel saying: Who is this, for even souls obey him? 97) Meanwhile, invited guests and clergy gathered in the garden. Despite his fatigue, Father John, not having rested at all, immediately went out to them and himself began to treat them to tea and snacks. He praised the shady garden, said how it had quickly grown, and in general was very good-natured and, as always, affectionate and sociable. Having set the hour for lunch no earlier than two o'clock, he walked around in the garden, studying with one or the other of those who approached him, went up to the gate of the garden, where there was a crowd of people, and almost climbed over the garden railing in order to obtain the blessing of the dear shepherd. Here he stopped and blessed each of them, listened to many, laid hands on some, at their request, provided material assistance to others, and so on. At 2 o'clock lunch was offered in the hall of the school building, connected to the abbot's cells by corridor 98. During dinner, the sister singers sang, the hymns more beloved by Father John, or on his personal instructions. Father loves good church singing very much, listens to it with pleasure and seems to be completely carried away in spirit above the earthly. At the end of dinner, Father, getting up from the table, sang in his pleasant, sonorous voice: “We thank You, Christ our God,” and so on; then, thanking the singers, he left, and immediately with the abbess, abbess Taisiya, rode in a carriage to the “Pustynka”, a favorite place of both the abbess and Father John himself. Until this year, there was only a secluded house among a pine forest with a chapel in honor of the Holy Apostle John the Theologian, and now, at the suggestion of the Archbishop of Novgorod himself, an altar was added and a small church was built. It was assumed that Father John would now consecrate it, which he now scheduled for July 5, Monday, since he planned to stay in the Leushinsky monastery for at least five days. Here, in a deserted cell adjacent to the newly built church, Father John rested for a while, then, after drinking tea, he went back to the monastery, riding a little through its fields and fields along the way; visited the monastery apiary and blessed it, blessed the fields through which he passed, and returned to the monastery. In the evening, the tireless worker Father John went out into the garden with the book of the prophet Isaiah, which he began to read aloud to those gathered around him. A touching, pleasant, but, unfortunately, almost unheard of sight was this reading: a venerable shepherd in a white paper cassock, with a straw hat on his head, sitting in the garden at a table in the middle, surrounded by the most diverse audience - from monastic sisters, from the white clergy, and from lay people of both sexes: some sitting right there at the table, closely united with each other, some on the grass, under nearby bushes and poplars, everyone does not take their eyes off Father reading and explaining what he is reading; others stand behind him and use birch tree branches to drive away annoying mosquitoes; and he reads with concentration, interrupting his reading or with enthusiastic exclamations about the greatness of the God of hosts, about His boundless love for the chosen people of Israel and righteous anger at their disobedience, about His closeness to the prophets, as if to His friends, to whom He entrusted the great secrets of His economy, the redemption of mankind; or, noticing the inattention or relaxation of the listeners, smiling affectionately, he will say: “Listen, listen!” – and would definitely breathe new vigor with his own words. This is how the tireless worker reads not for an hour, but for several hours in a row, in the end apparently overcoming himself. Every step, every action of his clearly proves that he devoted himself entirely to serving his neighbors for their spiritual success, that he does not spare himself for this, for this is the task of his life, his goal, his sacred ideal. Having finished reading, he blessed each of the listeners and sent them to rest, since it was already 9 o’clock in the evening. Did he himself hasten to rest? At the persuasive request of the abbess, he agreed to accept a light appetizer, during which, having learned that mutual acquaintances of Messrs. Pozdeevs had arrived from Ustyuzhna, he immediately invited them to his place and asked to serve them dinner, which, however, he did not share with them, but only consoled them with conversation. Finally, at 10 o’clock, he went into the garden to pray, according to his custom, to indulge in it especially in the clean air, where the wonderful nature itself is in such harmony with his sublime mood and more freely carries his soul to God in a prayerful conversation with Him. It was already 11 o'clock at night when Father returned to his cell, where an overnight stay had been prepared for him. But not for long. Exactly at midnight, such a thunderstorm broke out as no one who saw it could remember, as Father John himself claimed, who went out again onto the balcony; the peals of thunder were heard incessantly and as if right above one’s head; The flashes of lightning were too long, the rain poured down in torrents with a strong whirlwind, which in the neighboring village monastery tore off the wings of a mill, tore apart some thatched roofs, but did not cause the slightest harm to the monastery, although the thunderstorm itself stood directly above it. Father John all the time admired the greatness of nature in its formidable power, called it the mercy of God, sent to purify the air, and so on; however, he said: “These thunderclaps and flashes remind us of the last thunder trumpet that will follow before the Second Coming of Christ for the Last Judgment.” At the end of the thunderstorm, everyone again peacefully dispersed to rest and pray, since the general confession of Father John was scheduled for the next day. On Saturday, July 3, Father John celebrated Matins and late Liturgy, also in the cathedral, since all the visitors who had gathered from different places wanted to listen to his always very touching, touching general confession, which he scheduled for Saturday. Many priests gathered from the surrounding villages and from the city of Cherepovets - the rector of the cathedral, Father Archpriest Priorov 99. The service was conciliar, very solemn, led by Father John, who served in a white, embroidered gold miter and in the same vestments of monastic work. At the end of the Liturgy, Father John, before proceeding to general confession, addressed the people with a teaching about the need for repentance and preparing oneself for eternity beyond the grave and for an answer at the Last Judgment of God. “Woe to us,” he said casually, “if the hour of God’s Judgment finds us unprepared! What shall we do? Oh, what fear then! Then he offered the previously cited comparison of a thunderstorm and drew the listeners’ attention to it: “We all witnessed a terrible, strong thunderstorm this night. It will roar, and whoever does not tremble, exclaims the prophet 100. The trumpet will sound, says the apostle, and the dead will rise incorruptible, and we, that is, the living, will be changed 101 for eternal, endless life, for eternal reward or eternal punishment, so that everyone who has done with the body will receive either good or evil 102. Just as lightning comes from the east and shines to the west, so it will be at the Coming of the Son of Man, that is, at His terrible Coming to the Judgment of the entire universe.” He spoke a lot on this topic, so that he touched everyone to the core. Sobbing and tears were heard from everywhere. Then Father began the beginning of the general confession. Having read the prayers prescribed before confession, he again began to urge repentance and correction of life, began to list sins and various passions and vices that darken a person’s mind and heart, alienating him from God. Father spoke a lot and deeply touchingly and finally asked everyone: “Do you all repent from the bottom of your heart?” “We repent, we repent, Father,” was heard throughout the cathedral, restrained sobs did not cease, and the clergy themselves, who were in the altar, cried. Father continued: “There is no sin that conquers God’s love for mankind; it is always ready to forgive and have mercy on repentant sinners and give them the strength to correct their lives and avoid sin, if only there is our desire and desire for this.” Then he read the prayer of permission and began to partake of the Holy Mysteries. Among the communicants was the woman who had been possessed yesterday, Catherine, who had been healed by him; She came up on her own, completely quietly and intelligently, with deep emotion and tears. When Father was leaving the altar, several sick people were brought to him on the salt, three of them possessed by an evil spirit, one paralyzed man and one with chest pain to the point of being unable to carry out any work. Under the hands of the great prayer book, the demoniacs all calmed down, and we saw with our own eyes the paralytic the next day going to the ship; Nothing is yet known about the last patient. After the Liturgy, like yesterday, everyone was invited to tea in the garden, then to dinner in the hall, where the nuns-choristers sang, and after dinner, Father John again went to the “Pustynka”, where the guests arrived after him; From there everyone went to the “Bugry”, small hills covered with pine forest, where benches and tables were made, on which everyone sat. In this place there grow a lot of mushrooms and strawberries and blueberries, which the peasant women found and brought to their dear guest, considering this a great consolation for themselves. Father walked here completely freely, no one disturbed him, although a lot of people had gathered, everyone stood at a distance, and if anyone approached with any question, it was only with his permission. From here we all went back to the monastery, where Father again spent the entire evening reading the Holy Scriptures, and then retired to the garden for prayer. On Sunday, July 4, Father John celebrated Matins in the house church 103, adjacent to the abbot's cells in which he was located, at 6 o'clock in the morning, at a time when the early Liturgy was being celebrated in the cathedral. After Matins, Father confessed to some, then went to the cathedral to serve the late Liturgy, also a “conciliar” with many clergy. At the end of the Liturgy, he spoke an impromptu teaching on the day's Gospel about the healing of the centurion's servant, according to the latter's faith, pointing out the strength and power of faith and the necessity therefore of faith for us to receive what we ask from the Lord. After the Liturgy, tea was offered in the garden as usual. The news of Father John's arrival at the Leushinsky monastery spread around the entire neighborhood with the speed of lightning. Taking advantage of the holiday, people gathered from all the nearby villages and hamlets, and everyone sought to receive the blessing of the venerable shepherd, whose name in these parts, thanks to his annual visit to the Leushinsky monastery, had already acquired respect, trust and universal love. To satisfy the pious desire of the people, the abbess invited Father to bless each of those who came, placing himself at the “holy well” in such a way that on one side of the well everyone, standing in a long row, would take turns approaching Father John for blessing and would immediately leave on the other side. The police officials, led by the bailiff, took care of this arrangement and seeing off the people, so that in this way each of them received a blessing. At the same time, the following event worthy of note occurred: one of the peasants, very cleanly dressed, holding a girl of about five years old in his arms, bowed with her at the feet of Father; Father, who generally did not like to be given such bows to him, stopped him, saying that he could drop and hurt the baby in this way. To this the man answered in the hearing of everyone: “We must bow to you, Father, she was healed by you, and now she has become a person,” and then, in response to further questions, he said the following. “In 1897, around the same time, you also came here to the Leushinsky monastery, Father, and this very girl, my daughter, who was weakened from birth, could not control her arms or legs, I brought here to you, Father, and asked you to pray for her. You prayed and wet her hands and feet with holy water; I brought her home, and the next day she began to walk a little and use her hand - and now she’s completely healthy.” The priest crossed himself and humbly said: “It was not I who did this, a weak man, but the power of God - give glory to God for this miraculous healing. Why are you holding her in your arms,” he continued, “if she can walk?” Let her down!” And he lowered the girl, who immediately went and approached Father, and she herself, at a sign from her father, bowed at his feet. When everyone received the blessing, it was already 2 o’clock, and the dear guest-worker was invited to have a meal. After lunch, accompanied by the abbess, Father John went for a ride to the “Pustynka”, upon returning from where he drove into the grove adjacent to the monastery fence, where, with the blessing of the abbess, the clergy women asked him to have tea with them. When Father John’s carriage arrived, they, numbering about 80 people, greeted him with the chanting of the venerable “Rejoice, Queen, mother-virgin glory.” They strewn the path to the grove along which Father was supposed to walk with wildflowers and greenery. The priest greeted them with the words: “Hello, singers of God.” So they came up for the blessing, then Father sat down on the place prepared for him at the table, the guests were placed on the sides, the people stood at a distance, the singers sang, the rest of the young sisters served tea, berries, or simply stood near the table. It was a “holiday” in the full sense of the word. From the grove, Father John, encouraged by the singing of the novices-choristers who were consoled by his caresses, went to the senior monastery priest, Father Kl. E., who asked Father to do him the honor and pleasure of being the adoptive father of his daughter Yulia, who was born to him just before his arrival; the loving Father did not refuse and went to receive the newborn from the font of Holy Baptism. From Father K. he visited the second priest, Father N.L., then both deacons and finally returned to the kindergarten, where he indulged in solitary prayer. The next day, July 5, the consecration of the church in Pustynka was scheduled. Therefore, the abbess invited Father to spend the night in the “Pustynka”, to which he agreed and, at the end of the prayer, went straight from the garden there, where he spent the night in a large room adjacent to the small church attached to it. A special decoration of this church is a mosaic icon, artistically painted on glass, depicting St. John the Theologian, listening to the Heavenly voice and the wave of the Divine Right Hand, showing him the “Revelation”, which at the same time is being written down by his disciple Prochorus, sitting on a rock. This altarpiece icon is located in the hole in the eastern wall, forming like a large window, almost four arshins high and more than two arshins wide. In the morning, when the light of the sun hits it directly from the outside, it, with its golden background, is delightful. Father John admired her for a long time the next morning and said that she would be a precious decoration of any metropolitan cathedral. The next morning, Father John himself read the canons laid down before the consecration of the church, while the early Liturgy was being celebrated in the monastery, after which a procession of the cross was scheduled both from the monastery and from the monastery to the newly built church. When the ringing of the cross was heard in the monastery, announcing that the procession had already left, the same started from the monastery, where the ringing of the cross also began; and they came out of the “Theological Hermitage” with banners and icons, only without ringing the bells, because there were no bells there yet. It is impossible to describe this holy and wonderful spectacle of the religious procession, with many banners, crosses, icons, among green fields and forests, along a road straight as an arrow, with the bright rays of the morning sun shimmering on the golden vestments of the clergy, preceded by the harmonious singing of the monastics and accompanied by a crowd of people. Participants and witnesses to this celebration can only appreciate it. Father John also came out of the “Pustynka” to meet him and, having accepted from the priest who was carrying the holy antimension on his head, he placed it on his head and placed it in its proper place. The church, due to its small size, could not accommodate the people, so they stood both in the room and on the street, where through the open windows the entire service could be heard, which began with the rite of consecration of the church, performed by Father John himself “conciliarly”. At the end of the Liturgy, Father John said a word appropriate to the event, on the text: the church of God is holy, just as you are 104. In this word, Father John first outlined all the holiness and importance of the church of God for believers, who in it, as in a spiritual purification, receive cleansing of sins, renewal of spiritual strength and the fullness of grace in the Holy Sacraments, according to each one’s acceptability. Then he explained that every Christian is a church of God, according to the words of the apostle: Do you not know that you are the church of God, and the Spirit of God lives in you? 105; that our Lord Jesus Christ is always ready and seeking Himself to dwell in our hearts, as long as we are ready to receive Him: Behold, I stand at the door (of the heart) and understand: whoever hears My voice and opens the door, that is, the heart, I will go out to him and dine with him, 106 that is, I will nourish him with My Divine supper of grace and the abundance of spiritual gifts. Therefore, we must always be attentive to our heart, not allow evil and untruth to nest in it, and as soon as we notice something like this, immediately cleanse it with repentance and correction, so that the living church of the Living and Holy God - our heart - is not darkened by sin and uncleanness. The liturgy on this day ended at about 1 o'clock in the afternoon. After drinking a glass of tea and sharing a light snack with the clergy and guests, Father John went for a ride with the abbess, and the guests headed to the monastery. Father John rode for a long time this time, and this walk somewhat refreshed his tired strength. On the way back we met many pilgrims coming from the monastery; Two women from among them ran up to Father John and with a sign of their hand asked to stop the carriage. He ordered the drive to slow down; then both of these women, following next to the crew, repeated words of gratitude many times: “Thank you, Father, thank you, breadwinner! You made me happy forever, you made me a person, I was unhappy, I would have completely collapsed” and so on. Neither I nor Father recognized those who said this and were very touched when they explained that one of them was Catherine, whom he had healed from demonic possession, and the other was her mother. If Catherine herself had not declared herself, it would have been absolutely impossible to recognize her as that unfortunate woman who was frantically banging her head and writhing in pain. When Father asked how many years she had been ill, she answered: “More than eleven years,” but that now she felt as if she had been completely reborn and healthy. The humble man of prayer repeated to her his usual words on such occasions: “It was not I who did this, but the power of God; thank God, not me!” After lunch, they asked Father to rest at least a little, but he refused, saying that he had rested while walking in a stroller, and again offered to listen to his readings in the garden, which, of course, everyone was very happy about. On this day, both Father and everyone felt as if some kind of special spiritual triumph, unearthly joy filled the hearts of everyone, and Father attributed this to the triumph of the consecration of the church in the name of the holy Apostle and Evangelist John the Theologian in the “Pustynka”. “The great Apostle Saint John, he is the apostle of love, he is a friend of Christ, and he unites our hearts with mutual joy in the Lord and unanimity in Christ.” Dear Father read for a long time in the garden, then, at the request of Abbess Taisia, he visited the monastery almshouse, which she opened only two years ago for her elderly and wretched nuns, among whom are four blind ones. They live with everything they need at the house church, consecrated last year in 1898 by him, Father John. The old women were incredibly comforted by his visit; he blessed each of them, drank tea with them and gave each of them water from his hands. He consoled them for a long time, especially the blind, saying that they would see the light of heaven in the Kingdom of the Lord, which light is incomparably more desirable than the local sunlight. One of the blind women, still young, who could read perfectly from her books, brought them and began to read them by touch, which greatly interested Father, and he said: “This is the fulfillment of the words of the psalmist: The Lord makes the blind 108 wise!” He especially caressed her, kissed her on the head and blessed her repeatedly. The almswomen asked him to serve the Divine Liturgy in their church and to partake of their Holy Mysteries, which he promised to fulfill the next day. From them he went to their church, which is now completely finished with decoration, and was amazed at its splendor, which he repeatedly expressed to Abbess Taisia, praising her skill and stewardship. From the church, Father again went to the almshouse, once again blessed all the elders and went downstairs to the sisters' meal, which could truly be a decoration for a rich city monastery. It (like the almshouse above it) is twelve fathoms long and six fathoms wide; there are windows on both sides, abundantly filling it with light; the ceiling is supported by fourteen columns (seven in a row); on the eastern side there is an iconostasis in two tiers, with seven icons in the lower and five in the upper. In the middle of the meal, between the columns, there is a pulpit with a lectern, on which readings are made when the sisters eat. Having prayed in front of the iconostasis, Father stood on the pulpit and stood silently for a long time in front of the open book of the Chetyi-Minea; whether he read it or was so deep in thought, but then, turning to the abbess, he said: “The Lord will build you an abode, mother, in Heaven for the wise arrangement of the monastery entrusted to you for the benefit of the sisters!” From the meal I went into the kitchen, where they were already preparing provisions for the next day. He tasted the white chopped cabbage prepared for cabbage soup, and he liked it so much that he ate it with pleasure. From the kitchen he went into the kvass room and went out into the street by another route, got into the carriage and, having driven around the monastery, returned to his cells. The next day, July 6, the day of his last stay in the Leushinsky monastery, Father John served Matins and Liturgy in the gatehouse, adjacent to the almshouse, church, double-altared, in the chapel of his Angel, St. John of Rylsky, where he communed the Holy Mysteries of all the almshouse elders, as well as other sisters and laity. At the end of the Liturgy, after the prayer behind the pulpit, he spoke a word about the monastic order, from which so many saints of both sexes and different classes and ages have arisen, mentioning that in our times, although poor in piety, we still meet, and even often, great ascetics and ascetics, who now form the support and adornment of modern monasticism; But there are also pious people among the world, secret servants of God, who unknown among the vanity of the world, as if alien to it, live, secretly working for God and working out their own salvation and serving as a good example for their fellow men. Consequently, in every position and in every place one can serve the Lord and deserve eternal bliss. After lunch, Father, as usual, went for a few rides with the abbess and, returning, began reading books aloud in the garden to everyone who wanted to listen. Father John’s departure from the Leushinsky monastery was scheduled in the evening, around nine o’clock, in order to arrive in Cherepovets only in the morning, right in time for the service of Matins and Liturgy. Taking advantage of the time, Mother Abbess asked Father to bless all the sisters, of whom there are about four hundred in the monastery, and also to bless the water. The sisters all gathered in the house church, and in its choir (near the abbot’s cells) everything was prepared for the blessing of water. Father came to the choir and first of all greeted the sisters with the words: “Hello, dear sisters! Thank you for your warm welcome and hospitality; Today I’m already leaving your God-protected monastery.” Then he told them a lot of very edifying things about how they should live and work out their salvation. He also mentioned, among other things, that they should, through their good life and obedience, protect and give peace to their mother abbess, who had and is devoting all her strength and all her health for them, which is already failing her a lot. At the same time, he cited the words of the apostle: Obey your mentor and repent, for they are watching over your souls, so that they do this with joy, and not sighingly 109. In response to this, all the sisters unanimously expressed their gratitude and love for Mother Abbess and asked him to pray for her health and prolongation of the days of her life. Then, having blessed the water, Father sprinkled it on the sisters and, having blessed them, retired to their cells, and the sisters did not leave, waiting in tears and sorrow to see off their priceless guest, although there were two hours left before his departure. Meanwhile, Father and the abbess once again went to the “Theological Hermitage”, where the church had been consecrated the day before. There was no one in the “Pustynka” except the serving novice. Father prayed for a long time in the altar before the throne of God on his knees, then he went out into the church, again as if examining everything, sat down in the cell adjacent to it, then walked through the terrace into the garden and walked a little. Seeing his deep concentration, the abbess followed him only at a distance, afraid to disturb his prayerful mood, until finally he himself called her to him and began to talk. This conversation was unforgettable and exalted! Then they entered the church again, and Father, having prayed, blessed the old abbess, who was grieving over the separation from him, with her kind spiritual father, the only support and spiritual consolation for her in her difficult life. From “Pustynka” they went to the monastery through the monastery (Uspensky) 110, where Father, although he passed several times, did not enter the church; this time he went into the church, where all the hermit sisters instantly gathered, except for those who had already left for the monastery in order to see off Father John. Here Father especially caressed the schema-monster Antonina, a very spiritual and pious old woman. When we returned to the monastery, everyone had already gathered there - the sisters, the clergy, the guests, and all the people, rallied at the entrance. Father said goodbye to everyone and went out again into the garden, where horses were brought to the back gate to carry him through unnoticed, in order to avoid the hustle and bustle. Walking for the last time through the garden, the very alley along which Father walked every day, performing his inner, secret prayers, he stopped and said with feeling: “Farewell, kindergarten! “Thank you for the spiritual pleasure that you gave me!” With these words, he blessed the garden on both sides, saying: “Prosper, grow, be fruitful for the benefit of the holy monastery!” The abbess saw him off through the garden, shedding tears over the separation from such a loving father. Finally, on the last alley, he got into the carriage and set off along the fence. Having learned this, the entire crowd of sisters and people rushed along the shortest route through the holy gates onto the road where Father John was supposed to go. Having got ahead of him, they harmoniously set up on both sides of the road, they all bowed to the departing dear shepherd-prayer-man; the singers saw him off with the singing of many years, but more sobs, for the latter blocked the sounds of the voice and did not allow him to sing. The loving shepherd blessed everyone, bowing to both sides. The people were already left behind, but Father still looked at the domes of the holy monastery and blessed it until it was completely out of sight. In blessed memory of Father John of Kronstadt His disciples loved the Lord With pure, holy, selfless love, And they found happiness and peace in Him And the joyful days passed quickly, imperceptibly. But suddenly they suffered a terrible loss - Their teacher, the Lord, died on the Cross; Everything was lost for them, they died without return. Hopes are bright and expectations are all. Here are two of them, on the way to the village of Emmaus, The events of those days are sadly discussed; And Jesus approaches them unnoticed. “Why are you so sad?” - He asks meekly. They did not recognize the Teacher-Christ in Him, But the painful sorrow that tormented their hearts, They didn’t hide it from Him, they willingly told it. And the Companion opened His mouth to them in response: “O foolish ones, slow in faith! For the Son of God, Messiah and Christ Isn't it so Moses and all the prophets of old Have you predicted the path of suffering and the Cross?” In sweet conversation we reached Emmaus, And then, as soon as their eyes opened, Only here did the disciples come to know Jesus When, having given them bread, he became invisible to them. We, brother-friends, are all travelers on earth, We walk the road of sorrows and sorrows; And Shepherd John walked with us in the days of old, And our path was sweetened, it was the “Lamp” of our days. In a sweet conversation with him you will forget everything earthly, You will forget all the sorrows, you will forget yourself, And only pure, heavenly, holy And the mind contemplates, and the soul feels!.. But he has already completed his long-suffering journey, How Christ Himself and the righteous walked. He left us for a better, luminous world, And, with the memory of him, we follow him. Will we really forget his instructions to us? Shall we extinguish the fire of his holy words? Oh, no!.. Is that why the Angel of consolation was given to us, He is the friend, shepherd, and father of all who mourn! Let us remember him not only in word, but in deed; We strive to imitate His holy love, To the best of our ability, let us boldly undertake the feat, And God, the Father of generosity, will help us. Mutual love, mutual prayers, - Here is the sacred chain between Heaven and earth; God has no dead, we are always alive in salvation, And Shepherd John lives with a loving soul. Conversations with Father John of Kronstadt Having had the good fortune to be in the closest spiritual relationship for more than thirty-five years with my unforgettable father, Archpriest John Sergiev (Kronstadt), who died in God, 111 I often talked with him, sometimes for a long time and in detail, about subjects of a spiritual, sublime nature. Taking advantage of such opportunities, I tried to ask him questions related to my personally spiritual, monastic, difficult life, and, compiling in my heart all of Father’s answers, retiring in the evening in my cell, I carefully wrote down, trying to remember every word of his. A whole notebook was compiled from such notes. In recent years (I can’t specify the exact year), I told Father about this, and he wanted to check the records himself, found them correct, made corrections in some places, where he wrote in additions in his own hand, and then said to me: “It’s good that you remember my words: I praise you,” says the apostle, “for you remember my word and keep my traditions 112. This means that the seed falls on good soil and will bear fruit that will satisfy others.” These are the records, starting in 1891, that is, from the first year that Father John began traveling to his homeland, the village of Sura, to build a parish stone church there 113. When Father, on the way back from his homeland along the Mariinsky system 114, entered the Sheksna River to follow it to the city of Rybinsk, a large passenger steamer was waiting for him in the city of Cherepovets, rented by Messrs. L., who invited Father to Rybinsk 115. On the eve of this day, July 17, I arrived in Cherepovets on my monastic business, but I knew nothing and did not think about Father John’s upcoming visit to him. By the evening, already in Cherepovets, I found out about this, and in the morning of the next day it became known that Father had already arrived and was with the cathedral elder, merchant Krokhin 116. I headed there, barely making my way through a huge crowd of people, and began convincingly asking Father to stop by our monastery, located not far from the bank of the Sheksna River. Father refused, due to the inconvenience, to delay the ship, rented by the owners to deliver it to them, and not for visits. At the same time, he added: “If you want to talk, it’s better to come with us to the ship and talk.” And so we set off. But even then I repeated my request to him again, having secured the consent of the ship’s owners, and he agreed. At the pier (our monastery) “Borki” we went ashore and rode in a carriage to the monastery. Father’s first word addressed to me was: Father John. Why did you ask me to come over? So you and I saw each other and talked – isn’t that enough? Abbess Taisiya. That is why, Father, I ask you, because I had the good fortune to talk with you and see you. Having received this happiness for myself, I cannot help but wish that my sisters would receive the same. If I do not use all the measures that depend on me for this, then it will be on my conscience: if I do everything on my part, but you yourself do not deign to do this, then I will no longer be answerable before God for the fact that the sisters will not receive this benefit. Father looked at me carefully and said: “That’s what you say! Well, here we go." On the way we started talking. Abbess Taisiya. I would like, Father, to open my whole soul to you; I have always tried to do this so that you see it as an external thing and can point out what is good for it, for this is the purpose of my conversations with you. After all, we often do not know ourselves, condescending to our weaknesses. However, I see that you are a person blessed and you yourself see the Holy Spirit inherent in you. Father John. We, shepherds, have been given special grace for the work of saving the souls entrusted to us, and grace also imparts knowledge as needed. Abbess Taisiya. Yes, Father, but not everyone is the same; I think - to the extent of personal ability to perceive it. You are special you are blessed and see your interlocutor by the Spirit; I've noticed this for a long time. Father John. And if you notice and understand spirituality in a person, then there is no need to doubt, but you need to believe. It is the enemy who confuses our soul with unbelief and doubt, so as not to give it peace. Abbess Taisiya. You have to see people a lot, Father, listen to their various needs, sins, illnesses, and what people don’t reveal to you, people don’t believe! Father John. Yes, dear, you have to listen to a lot and many people! (And Father sighed heavily.) Abbess Taisiya. And is it hard for you, dear Father? Father John. Not easy; but this is precisely our fulfillment of the apostolic commandment: We, the strong, must bear the weaknesses of the weak 117 . This commandment is not easy and broad; and it applies mainly to us, shepherds. Abbess Taisiya. But there are pure, holy, perfect souls? Father John. Our perfection is there,” said Father, pointing to the sky, “and “there is only one Holy One, the Lord Jesus Christ” 118. Abbess Taisiya. Father, as long as a person is in the flesh, he cannot be free from passions and temptations and from the temptations that surround him from everywhere in the world? Father John. Of course, he is not free: that is why you need to pay deep and unremitting attention to yourself. A person in moments of temptation is like someone lying on a scale - where will he be pulled? The enemy is pulling him into destruction, and the Angel and the very conscience of man are holding him back. At this time, you should arm yourself with the fear of God, imagining the horror of hellish torment. It is also necessary to add secret prayer of the heart, for without God’s help we are not strong enough to fight temptations. Abbess Taisiya. When a person pays attention to himself and watches over himself, then even the slightest deviation from God, whether allowed willy-nilly or not, weighs on the soul and disrupts its peaceful state (I speak, however, from my own experience). With the loss of peace comes anxiety, confusion, and tightness. Oh, how hard it is for the soul, and how difficult it is for it to recover again! Father John. Immediate secret repentance is needed: call to Me, and I will hear it 119. The Lord knows our weaknesses. He is ready to forgive us everything if we repent and ask for forgiveness. There is no need to become numb, that is, dwell on the thought of the sin committed, but to immediately repent, remembering God’s mercy; then it will not be anxiety and absent-mindedness that will be generated, but contrition and humility of the heart, which God will not despise, that is, will not despise 120. Abbess Taisiya. How to preserve peace with God in the soul, restored in it through the Sacraments, or through secret repentance, or by the mercy of God? Father John. There is nothing better to preserve the peace that consists of communion with God than by paying attention to yourself. In general, a person going through spiritual life and zealous for salvation must relentlessly pay attention to himself, that is, notice all the movements of his heart and mind 121. The enemy is watching them closely and is trying to catch them; and when he finds a hole, that is, a minute not occupied by the attention of the householder himself, he immediately invades and begins to rule in his soul, and can do a lot of harm to it. Abbess Taisiya. And how hard the soul feels when, having cleansed itself and restored its communion with God, it breaks it again! Father John. On something pure and white, even the smallest speck is more visible; so it is in a pure soul, but in black and dirty they are invisible behind the general blackness and dirt. Again, it turns out that you need to pay attention to yourself and have constant remembrance of God and inner prayer. Abbess Taisiya. Yes, Father, you involuntarily come to the realization of how difficult it is for a person, especially those placed by life in the midst of bustle, even if innocent, for example, of a boss, but who maintains self-attention, to stand on this path. Father John. Perhaps it is difficult; But what kind of good deed is given without labor? On the other hand, our salvation lies in work, because the Kingdom of God is needed, 122 that is, it is taken by self-compulsion, force, and diligence, and only strong seekers achieve it. Prayer is needed. Abbess Taisiya. Father, teach me to pray. Father John. The simplest thing is to pray, and at the same time the wisest thing. A small child knows how to pray in his own way, to ask his father or mother for what he wants. We are the children of the Heavenly Father; Do children really manage to ask their father? As you feel, tell Him your needs, and open your heart. The Lord is near to all who call on Him in truth... and He will hear their prayers 123. I still say to you, he says: “Behold, I have come!” Oh, how great is God’s mercy towards us! But at the same time, be wise and careful, protect your mind from distraction and wandering or vanity. Abbess Taisiya. Sometimes, Father, I really pray with all my being, as if I were standing before the face of the Lord Himself. My whole being disappears in prayer, and that prayer is sweet and fervent. But this does not happen often, and I sometimes do not allow myself to be in such a state; I am afraid that the enemy will deceive me with such a prayer as an inexperienced one, not yet able to bear its height; this is the work of those who have succeeded more than me in spiritual life. After all, I have re-read almost all the ascetic books, and all the ascetics warn beginners, inexperienced people like me, against contemplative prayer; that is, it must be achieved, but with caution, as the highest gift of God. Father John. So what am I telling you: “Be wise, be careful”; but contemplative prayer should not be avoided. Such prayer is a visit to the grace of God; it must be earnestly asked for and treasured, and not avoided for any reason. The enemy does not like such prayer, so he scares you and deceives you. Prayer pacifies the soul, instills silence and tranquility in it. Abbess Taisiya. With the acceptance of the rank of authority, I pray little 124, Father: in the evening you don’t know how to get to the pillow, so you get tired of the day’s affairs and worries; and in the morning, before I even get up, things will stop, and as soon as you open the door, you will hardly return to pray. Father John. Prayer and salvation are not in many words 125. Read a few prayers, but with consciousness and warmth in your heart. And most importantly, throughout the whole day, have the memory of God, that is, secret, inner prayer. I myself don’t have time to endure long monastic services; but everywhere and always: whether I walk, drive, sit or lie - the thought of God never leaves me, I pray to Him in spirit, mentally stand before Him and contemplate Him before me. I will foresee the Lord before me, let me not move 126 the thought of His closeness to me never leaves me. Try to do the same. Abbess Taisiya. Do you feel Him close to you, Father? Father John. Yes, dear, to loved ones, very close ones: He is always with me, according to His word: and I will dwell in them, and walk around, and I will be their God 127. Otherwise, how could I act like this all day long, if not for the grace of God? Abbess Taisiya. Yes, Father, you work amazingly; you completely sacrifice yourself to serve people, forgetting about yourself. Father John. Perhaps you have already said too much; but really, I try, to the best of my ability, with God’s help, to serve the salvation of human souls. I prepared myself for this from the very beginning of my priesthood 128. Shepherds, successors of the apostles, must live for their flock, and not for themselves; We are the salt of the earth, and if the salt is overpowered, how will it be salted? 129 Abbess Taisiya. After all, you, Father, have been a priest for a long time, but you appeared openly to people not so long ago? 130 Father John. It was a time of temptation. Is it possible to go into battle without preparing yourself and without being tempted? Abbess Taisiya. Yes, it was not easy for you, Father, but now you stand above all temptations and passions; and whatever strikes you will be crushed against the stone of faith and grace that is inherent in you. Father crossed himself and said, sighing: Father John. There is much to say - above all temptations and passions; I'm not emotionless. But God’s grace, which was in me without being in vain 131, always strengthened and encouraged me. After all, ours are nothing but weaknesses and sins, but our ability to serve comes from God. Abbess Taisiya. The faith in you is great, Father, but in me it is not enough - share with me. Father smiled and said: Father John. Take as much as you want, as much as you can carry. The Lord is rich in mercy. Abbess Taisiya. You're joking, Father, but I often hesitate, not in faith, of course, in God - oh, no! I always believe in Him firmly and undoubtedly - but, for example, can I hope for salvation through the path I have chosen? Was my calling and all my visions that you know about from God? 132 And in many other questions that I would like to check with a more spiritual, blessed look and strengthen myself with faith and hope 133. Father John. You needn't be embarrassed. Your first vision of the Savior was in your childhood, what kind of charm could there be? He thereby called you to serve Him and gave you, as it were, a guarantee of salvation. Abbess Taisiya. He told me at the end of the vision: “Work hard first!” I work as hard as I can; but whether I work as He pleases, and whether He will accept my labors, whether they are pleasing to Him, I cannot be sure; after all, “in the judgment of God.” Father John. How can he not accept it when he has already crowned them with success? Look what a cathedral you erected without any means and in what a short time 134; Was it not the Lord who crowned your labors with such success? But for the entire monastery, for the virgin sisters whom you lead to salvation, the Lord will reward you a hundredfold, because He is righteous and merciful. Abbess Taisiya. But this is all external, my dear Father; Well, I built the cathedral with strangers, that is, prefabricated ones, with pennies, with the hands of others; and everyone praises me for this - well, that’s external reward for external. And speaking about my soul, what did I acquire for it during my many years of life in the monastery? Father John. You say you haven’t acquired anything for your soul? God, the Knower of the Heart, will judge this. While we are on earth, Taisiya, the soul is inextricably linked by essence, and labors, although material, undertaken for the sake of the Lord and for His glory, are undoubtedly accepted by Him. You say: “I built it with other people’s pennies”; Yes, it would be much easier to get these pennies with your own people than through heavy taxes. And if they praise you for the cathedral, how can you not be praised for such a great work? After all, here, until the end of time, the name of God will be glorified by thousands of lips, and your memory as the builder of the church will not cease to be remembered by the Church. Abbess Taisiya. But now, with these construction and general administrative worries and labors, I have neither prayer, nor fasting, nor monastic feats. Father John. Your exploits are not for your soul alone, but for the common good, that is why they are great and higher than private ones, actually for yourself. As for fasting, you are lying to yourself: after all, your food is meager, simple, and it is impossible for a worker not to eat at all. Abbess Taisiya. And there is so much sin in a position of authority! Father John. But what does the Lamb of God do, take away the sins of the world 135? Ask God for faith and hope 136. Trust completely in the grace that is brought to you, says the Apostle Peter 137. Abbess Taisiya. Pray for me, my dear Father, with your many powerful prayers, may the Lord help me too. Father John. I pray and will pray. And you pray for me, and your prayer has boldness. Abbess Taisiya. What is my prayer? I pray for you, my father, but only because, on the one hand, I want to pray for you, as for a beloved father for whom you wish every good thing, and on the other hand, I am ashamed and afraid to pray for you, for who am I before God compared to you? Father John. Why are you, Taisiya, unrighteously elevating me? I am the first of sinners. The apostle himself asks believers to pray for him: Pray for me 138. And another apostle writes: Pray for one another 139 . And it is easier for us to pray for those who pray for us. Abbess Taisiya. I once wrote to you, Father, asking you to pray for healing of my illness; I received only relief, not complete healing. Father John. And it’s not necessary, that means. Don’t try to get rid of illnesses, you have to get sick and be patient, everything is for the good, for our salvation. This conversation between us and Father on our first trip with him in July 1891, on the 18th day, was recorded by me almost verbatim in the evening of the same day; it continued on the way from the pier to the monastery, where Father stayed very briefly, due to the request of the owners of the ship not to detain him, and on the way back from the monastery to the ship. When it was already close to the pier and the minute was approaching to part with my dear father, I felt sad, and I told him: Abbess Taisiya. Now we will part with you, dear Father, but how sweet it was for me to talk with you! And now, God knows when we will have to meet. Father John. Let us thank God for what we have received. You yourself say that all this happened unexpectedly, unforeseen for you, so look at it for yourself; But won’t the Lord always be the same merciful? Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today, and forever 140. What to look ahead? - Let's hope! Abbess Taisiya. You were in a hurry, Father, and didn’t even eat anything; I am very ashamed that you are completely hungry. Father John. On the contrary, I'm more full than I need to be. I would like to be hungry: when I am hungry in body, then the soul is fuller, freer, grief can ascend more easily, but a well-fed body and soul oppresses, enslaves, and man will not live on bread alone 141 . Abbess Taisiya. One must be surprised, Father, how you turn every simple, ordinary incident and even every word into an edification, into a lesson. Just from this word, what a lofty meaning you get! Father John. A Christian should be very careful about every word and try to turn it to the benefit of himself and the interlocutor. Abbess Taisiya. Well, dear Father, we are approaching the pier, now we will separate. (And I cried.) Father John. Who will separate us from the love of God? 142 And nothing will separate you and me, mother, who love the Lord, either in this life or in the future - believe and hope. Hold it, imashi, so that no one will take your crown 143. Abbess Taisiya. How can I express to you my sincere, deep gratitude for visiting our monastery? Oh, if I could serve you or please you in any way! Father John. Please the Lord, I don’t need anything else, and nothing could be more pleasant for me. Abbess Taisiya. Even if for your holy prayers the Lord helped me to succeed in spiritual life, then still this would not be pleasing to you, but my direct duty and benefit for my soul; Moreover, how will you know about this so that your fatherly heart will rejoice? After all, you and I don’t see each other often and live quite far from each other. Father John. And I tell you that I will find out - believe it, and from now on we will see each other often. Every year I will travel to my homeland and on the way back, perhaps I will stop by your monastery. It was with such joyful hope that Father left me, boarding the ship; and when I returned to the monastery, I immediately wrote down our entire conversation. These words of Father John came true. My efforts to acquire a place in St. Petersburg for the construction of a monastery 144 for the purpose of material support for our monastery, which has neither capital nor support, which began under Metropolitan Isidore, sometimes required my short-term stay in the capital, where I often saw Father, although I never had the opportunity to have a spiritual conversation with him; but during his visits to our monastery in the summer, on the way back from his homeland, we received truly unearthly pleasure, being in continuous communication with this gracious shepherd for several days and even weeks. He usually wrote to me from his homeland, the village of Sura, or from Arkhangelsk about where he planned to go, how long he would stay, and when approximately to be with us, and whether on his own ship or on a rented one, 145 and my job was to meet him at the appointed place. This is where my holiday began, my rest, that is, literally mental rest, renewal of strength and lifting of spirit. We used to go with him from the pier of our “Borka” to the monastery; the road continues through the forest, and about three miles before the monastery, crossing the road, there passes a strip of monastery forest; and Father will begin to bless him on both sides: “Grow, preserve, O Lord, all this for the benefit of Your monastery, in which Your holy name is glorified incessantly.” On the way, he asks about the condition of the sisters, their health, and the like. We approach a village located one mile from the monastery and making up its entire parish, and there on both sides there are a lot of people who have come out to bless the great guest: peasants with naked heads bow at the waist; women with babies in their arms rush during the break to bring their children, if only Father would touch them with his hand; All you can hear is: “Father the breadwinner,” “you are our dear,” “red sun.” And Father bows to both sides, blesses, saying: “Hello, brothers! Hello mothers! Hello, little ones of God! May our Heavenly Father bless you all! Christ is with you! Christ is with you! And as soon as the monastery buildings go up - clergy houses, hotels, etc., the sisters greet them with loud, harmonious singing: “Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord!” 146 and further, with singing, they are escorted to the very cathedral church, where they are greeted by the clergy, and the ringing of the large bell has been buzzing for a long time. It looks like something Easter, joyful: a general uplift of spirit, a general triumph! After the Liturgy, at which there are always many communicants, Father goes straight into the garden, where all the clergy who served him and the guests who came to him are invited; The samovar with all its attributes also appears there, and dear Father, knowing that everyone is pleased to receive tea from his hands, tries to console everyone. Then he will go for a walk along the alleys of the garden, either alone or with an interlocutor, but no one bothers him. As soon as Father passes through the terrace into the house, the garden becomes empty, as everyone leaves. But Father loves clean air too much: not only spends all his time during the day either in the garden, or riding with me through the fields and forests, but sometimes, on warm, dry nights, he sleeps on the terrace. Sometimes in the garden he will gather his closest acquaintances and some of the sisters of the monastery and, having chosen a place somewhere, will read to us a book that he himself has chosen; but most often he read the Gospel, the Apocalypse or the book of the prophets and immediately explained everything he read. Sometimes the reading was interrupted by conversations on the topic being explained. When he gets tired of sitting or gets tired of reading, he will say to me: “Well, mother, it wouldn’t be a bad idea for us to take a ride to your “Pustynka.” And of course, this is instantly fulfilled, and we are off. We always rode slowly, slowly, because at this time Father was either praying secretly, or talking with me, or simply dozing; and there was no need to go quickly: the people, no matter how many there were, never rushed towards him or bothered him on the road. I will tell you about “Pustynka”, this favorite place of Father, in detail later, and now I will return to his edifying conversations. Somehow, by the way, there was a conversation about faith, and I, for my part, said that our faith is not as dark and blind as others express: “blind faith.” Abbess Taisiya. I find that the mysteries of faith are accessible to understanding, I won’t say – mind, but – soul and heart. Not blindly, not unconsciously, but I believe, but consciously, so to speak, tangibly, understanding what, why and how I believe. Father John. Only spiritual people can say this, but worldly people, who do not practice the objects of faith, cannot be so aware of the mysteries of faith. And in any case, there are mysteries that are completely incomprehensible, inaccessible to understanding; for example: the mystery of the Holy Trinity - who will comprehend it? One is Three. Three - and One... Abbess Taisiya. This is explained by the difference only in the properties of the Trinitarian Deity. Theology explains it this way: God the Father is the eternal Mind, God the Son is the eternal Word, God the Spirit is the life-giving, intelligent, hypostatic, omnipotent Shrine, Life from Life 147, and the like. You yourself write similarly in your “Diary”: “I think with the Father, I speak with the Word, I breathe with the Holy Spirit.” Consequently, this incomprehensibility of the mystery is simplified, clarified by similarities and similarities, and its impenetrability is smoothed out. Father John. Yes, for believers who are spiritually enlightened, but can everyone embrace this concept? However, the greatness of our faith lies in the fact that it is not as clear as knowledge; otherwise it would turn into knowledge and lose its greatness. Can I revere that which, through my comprehensive understanding, is inferior to my knowledge, becomes, as it were, beneath me? No; there, in the next century, we will know more fully, but now it is enough for us to understand in part, as the Apostle writes about faith: now we understand in part, but then we will know as we had known 148. Abbess Taisiya. Now we see like a mirror in fortune-telling, but then face to face 149,” I added and continued: “Really, Father, will we see the Lord face to face?” It seems that human mortal nature cannot withstand this. Father John. One cannot stand it while a person in the flesh, while living on earth, revolves in earthly vanity. Do you remember what God said to Moses: My face will not appear to you, lest man see My face and live 150. And in the next century, when man himself becomes spiritual, the Lord will reveal Himself to him as much as he can contain; this is God's work. In order not to be rejected from the Divine Heaven, from the bright villages of the saints, forever undecaying and always living, bright, fragrant, all-joyful, one must here prepare oneself by keeping the commandments of God, repentance and practice in good deeds, one must know and visit the house of God on earth, know its great educational purpose for Christian souls and learn in advance to breathe here the Heavenly air, fragrant with the spiritual aromas of Christian virtues, with which all Heaven, the entire assembly of saints, is fragrant; for in the church the virtues and valiant deeds of all the saints of Christ’s Church are constantly praised. Immensely much grace and mercy of God was given to people in the incarnation of the Son of God; much is required from each other and from them: constant and attentive reflection on the affairs of God’s economy is required, gratitude, expressed by fulfilling God’s commandments, obedience, mutual love and forbearance towards each other, truth, holiness, and for this it is necessary to pay attention to oneself, as it is said: if we had reasoned with ourselves, we would not have been condemned 151 . Oh, how the enemy doubles a person’s soul, turning it away from God with addictions and love for the flesh and everything carnal, for the world and its blessings: earthly glory, carnal beauty, wealth and all sorts of earthly pleasures, mostly sinful! Love for God is extinguished by sinful love, therefore how vigilantly one must watch all the bends of one’s heart so that it does not fall away from God, this only Source of all good! Abbess Taisiya. I don’t know, dear Father, maybe I’m wrong, but, often checking my heart, I don’t find in it any attachment to anything earthly. I can’t help but realize and feel that I live, as it were, abstracted from earthly things, only out of duty I take part in everything and move around everywhere. Father John. Thank the Lord that He has given you this dispassion. This is not yours. Only His holy power can hold a person like this. Abbess Taisiya. I find the main reinforcement in the frequent communion of the Holy Mysteries, in reading the Gospel, which, truly, sometimes answers my thoughts and gives admonition. I also often resort to your “Diary”. What bright, wonderful thoughts there! For example: “As rivers flow to the sea, so do the souls of people flow to God.” Or again: “I think with the Father, I speak with the Word, I breathe with the Holy Spirit.” What a height! Father John. This is not mine, but an insight from above. I felt this insight on myself, and under the influence of it, the thoughts that appeared considered it a sin not to write down and commemorate; I kept these records for decades, and entire books were compiled. Abbess Taisiya. They have, Father, some special character. They involuntarily delight the reader and transport him, as it were, into the depths of pure knowledge of God and light. I won’t be able to just express it; in my opinion, you seem to be destroying the mediastinum between God and man, uniting them. For example: “I live by God, in God and with God, and God lives in me!” What could be higher than this? After all, this is John’s Theology: God dwells in us and from His fulfillment we receive grace upon grace 152. Only the turn of phrase is different. If I dare to put it this way, this is in relation to our entire Orthodox teaching - as it were, a continuation of it, an explanation of what has not yet been comprehended, an improvement of what is unfinished. You seem to be anticipating the future blessed life of the triumphant Church, and you are simplifying the incomprehensibility of the future mystery into intimacy and unification. Father John. I understand what you want to say. However, you are not devoid of spiritual understanding. Indeed, it was written for this purpose and for this purpose. What is the mediastinum between the image and the Prototype? It's a sin! But sin is destroyed by the God-man, the veil of sin is torn; who is stopping or what is blocking our path?! Abbess Taisiya. With such a thought about the closeness of the unity of God with man, I involuntarily come to the question: why such our exploits, hardships, labors for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven, if it, like God who gives it, is only love, peace and joy? Thousands of ancient ascetics shone with their exploits; and we, today’s monks, are prescribed feats, and yet God, this eternal Love, for His reign in the human heart requires only love: son, give Me your heart, He says 153. Exploits exhaust, kill, oppress; I sometimes compare them with the letter in relation to the law: the letter kills, but the spirit gives life 154. Father John. You confuse one thing with another, while everything has its time and place. Feats are needed and necessary for the education of our inner man, for the mortification of the passions nesting in him, for the development of ourselves to that measure of the age of the fulfillment of Christ 155 when we become capable of accepting and carrying in our hearts the Kingdom of God. God is always with us, at the door of our heart, as it is said: Behold, I stand at the door and wonder 156, but is the heart always capable of receiving Him? So, both books and examples show us feats as an auxiliary force for our improvement, so that through them we can purify our hearts in order to accept the Kingdom of God, that is, Christ Himself, into it. Do you know the troparion to the holy great martyr Theodore Tiron: “Like sweet bread was brought to the Trinity” 157? What does it mean? How do you understand these words? In order for the bread to be sweet and pleasant, you must first of all thoroughly sift the flour, clean it of all impurities, of everything unsuitable, so that the bread is clean and tasty. So, in order for our heart to be a sacrifice pleasing to God, we must first be cleansed of the passions that are in it, sow them out; then it will be pleasant. Abbess Taisiya. Dear Father, how should we understand the commandment about “good deeds”? Surely they need to be hidden? Father John. But I don’t understand it that way: So let your light shine before men, so that they can see your good deeds and glorify your Heavenly Father 158. Let people see your good deeds and through this glorify the Lord, and for themselves have a living example, a living motivation to do good. This is from whom one must hide (and at the same time Father pointed his finger at his heart) good deeds! Conceal everything from him, so that your fool does not discover what your right hand is doing 159. Shuitsa is one’s personal conceit and vanity. As you know, Father used to read the canon, and at the same time the sedals on kathismas and antiphons. There was the 3rd tone, and, having read the antiphons: “Those who sow in the south with Divine tears, reap the classes with the joy of ever-life,” Father, turning to me, said: “This is your consolation, Taisiya, - “those who sow with tears will reap with joy in the next century.” How much consolation the Lord proclaims to those who mourn and labor for His sake! Remember that labor for the Lord and sorrow for His sake are above all.” At Matins the Gospel was read about the appearance of the Lord to Mary Magdalene. After reading the Gospel, Father turned to me and said: “Did you hear, mother, how the Lord consoled Mary Magdalene: “Mary, why are you crying, who are you looking for?” 160 So He says to you: “Taisia, why are you crying, who are you looking for?” Seek, seek Jesus, and He will appear to you. There are many consolations for the believer! For example, during the Divine Liturgy there is such consolation, illumination of the soul, revelation of secrets! Abbess Taisiya. Father, during the liturgy you are experiencing everything that is happening, so your soul is lifted up! Father John. Right; Indeed, I try to feel everything that is done in my soul, being transported in thought and with all my soul to what is being done. Abbess Taisiya. How happy I am, Father, that you are celebrating the Liturgy with us! Father John. It’s easy to serve in your cathedral. The spirit of the singing sisters breathes purity, zeal, and reverence; In general, you have good sisters, a good monastery, and it will not be lacking in the mercy of God. These words: “It’s easy to serve here, it’s a wonderful cathedral,” Father also said to me at the altar, as soon as he himself received communion; he came up to me and, apparently from the abundance of his heart 161, said: “It’s so good here, it’s easy to serve! Wonderful church! This was all the more gratifying to me because this church was built from the first to the last penny through my tearful labors and funds. Abbess Taisiya. Yes, and being with you, Father, is so easy; peace, tranquility and joy emanate from you, as from the animated church of God. You will forget everything except God. Moreover, I beg you, write me at least a word when the Lord inspires you. Do not forget me, a sinner, because I am your spiritual daughter; don’t leave me, don’t forget me, my dear. Father John. Here's how I'll tell you about it. The Lord said through the prophet: Even if the wife (mother) forgets these, I will not forget you 162. And I will do my best to remember you and your sisters. One day Father sat deep in his thoughts, and I thought about him: “Lord, what kind of person is this?” and the like. Suddenly he turned to me, fixed his eyes full of meekness and peace on me and said: “Torture!” I, in turn, was not embarrassed by this, because it was not news to me that he answers thoughts, and I told him, also looking him straight in the eyes: “I’m not torturing, Father; I can look you straight in the eye because I am not being false in front of you; but a person who thinks and has a spiritual mood for life cannot help but think about you; So I often think about you, Father: what kind of person are you? And how will all this end? Father John. Look where you look: “How will it end?” The beginning and the end are the grace of God. Look and judge by the fruits, as indicated in the Gospel: By their fruit you will know them 163 And seek the fruits in yourself, and they will be and should be in you. Remember, meanwhile, that peace is from God; the enemy cannot give peace of mind; his business is to confuse, not to pacify. Abbess Taisiya. Father, I would also like to ask you: I keep trying to distance myself from my relatives: I rarely, very rarely write to them; It's been 14 years since they had 164; they keep calling, they keep trying to get closer to me; and others persuade me that it is a sin to abandon one’s own; If you do good to strangers, then it is even more necessary for your own people. And I keep trying to distance myself from them. After all, it is said: Defeat a man’s household 165. And what do we have in common? They will only distract me from my responsibilities; Yes, I’m afraid there’s a lot of sin with them. What is your view on this? Father John. And you are doing great! Beware, stay away from them. Remember: you cannot serve two masters 166. You now have other relatives - your sisters in Christ, you will answer for them before God, but since you have already left your relatives, don’t look back 167. There is no stronger war for a spiritual man than against his relatives: Conquer a man with his household. So it was with Christ, so it is now, and so it always will be. Once I confessed to Father, speaking in order of the commandments. After listening, he said: Father John. All these are seemingly inevitable, everyday sins, for which we must constantly repent mentally and correct ourselves. But tell me what is your heart like, is there anything sinful in it - malice, enmity, hostility, hatred, envy, flattery, vindictiveness, suspicion, suspiciousness, ill will? This is the poison from which may the Lord deliver us! Here I answered that I did not feel in myself any anger, hostility, revenge, or anything like that, but I could only blame myself for suspicion, or rather, distrust of people, which formed in me as a result of many human injustices and untruths. Father John. And there is no excuse for this. Remember: love does not think evil, 168 and a good eye will not see evil even where it exists. Cover everything with love, do not stop at the dirt of the earth, achieve the perfection of the love of Christ. However, even Christ did not commit them to His faith, He Himself led everything 169. Abbess Taisiya. Father, how can you trust and fully believe in people when you had to endure so much from them undeservedly, innocently? Sometimes, out of precaution for the future, you are distrustful and suspicious. Father John. Why do we need to look into the future? - His anger will prevail throughout the day 170. Let us surrender, like children, to our Heavenly Father; He will not leave us to be tempted more than we can 171. You will only torment yourself with suspicion, and you will not help the matter; you will even harm it by imagining evil in advance where, perhaps, it will not exist. As long as we don’t do evil, let them do it to us, if the Lord allows. Once I told Father that sometimes I am subjected to the strongest spiritual temptation, which I cannot describe in words; it’s like despondency, but in the most terrible degree, almost despair - as if a black cloud is hanging over your head, and as if there is no way out from under it; everything seems so gloomy, so heavy on the soul that I call this temptation “hellish,” and if it were prolonged, it would cause death or frenzy. Father John. This temptation is tolerated by those who are stronger and more experienced in spiritual warfare. The enemy inflicts it on you because he sees that your exploits are coming to an end, that your reward is being prepared in Heaven, and he wants to defeat you with a strong push and deprive you of your crown. It destroys many with despondency. Be strong and courageous, fight against the machinations of the enemy, do not give in. Carry this cross with humility and patience. Consider that he was sent to you for your humility, and the Lord will help you. Whose church of the soul is based on stone, no winds of enemy temptations, no storms can shake it, for its foundation is firm; and whoever does not have a stone, Christ, at his foundation, and his spiritual church is founded on sand, it is easily destroyed even by the slightest storm 172. Climb the spiritual ladder up, not down. Elevate your spirit, elevate your mind. You are called to shepherd your small flock of virgins, chosen by the Lord for a monastic life; Do not consider this matter to be of little importance or less than those virtues and deeds that you could carry out in solitude, saving only your soul. Now you have no peace for the sake of serving your neighbors; your labors, worries and sorrows are the sorrows and sufferings of a martyr: for you are crucified for everyone out of love for God and your neighbors, and what is higher than this? The next morning, when Father and I went to the church, in which there was a marble throne, Father suddenly, pointing to it, asked me: “What kind of throne is this?” I looked at him in surprise and answered: “Marble.” He continued: “Hence, stone; Let your heart be like this stone - take heart!” Abbess Taisiya. Sometimes, Father, you prepare to receive the Holy Mysteries, but at night you cannot stay awake at all; either you are extremely tired from the day’s work, or from something else, but you feel sleepy; then you get embarrassed by it in church. Father John. Do you really think that our lack of sleep or any exploits are strong and sufficient to give us boldness before the Holy Cup? Do you remember the robber? 173 One sigh of sincere repentance, one faith in the merits of the Crucified One - this is our justification, and not our imaginary exploits. Of course, one must strive, but not in order to see and place one’s justification and dignity in these achievements. God will not despise a contrite and humble heart 174 . I repeatedly asked Father to accept our monastery under his spiritual leadership, his protection, not at all implying any material help here, which I absolutely never bothered Father about, but asked exclusively for his spiritual grace-filled supervision over our monastery, believing and knowing from experience that the Lord reveals to him the state of human hearts. Father John. You ascribe a lot to me, mother, you think too highly of me: if I have anything, it is only by the grace of God. Of course, everything is possible for believers 175. According to your faith, if it is His holy will, I will not refuse to assist you in the matter of salvation, I will, as I already said, pray for you; and I myself love your monastery. This conversation of ours took place during Father’s stay in our monastery. Two or three days after this, Father and I went for a ride and, according to custom, first of all to the “Pustynka”. When Father decided to retire there for prayer or rest, he ordered the entrance gates of the fence to be locked so that no one would enter or disturb him. This time he did the same. It is not superfluous to explain here that the entire place, enclosed here by a wooden fence (hermitage “Pustynka”), is an even square, in the middle of which there is a one-story wooden house, on the eastern half of which there is a church in the name of the holy Apostle John the Theologian. On this side from the fence to the church are the sisters’ cells, and on the other side of the church house is a garden with alleys, where Father John always loved to stroll, performing his secret prayers. As a precaution so that no one would disturb him, during such walks I always almost sat on the steps of the porch, and if Father needed anything, he turned to me. In the incident I am describing, Father did not walk around the garden for long, but apparently he was praying, often stopping, crossing his arms on his chest and fixing his gaze on the sky. Then, with a quick movement, he approached a chair standing on one alley and dragged it behind him to the altar wall from the southeast. I was at a loss from the surprise of such an act, I didn’t have time, and I didn’t dare to help him. I look - Father is already dragging the second chair along with him, just like the first. I hurried to him, but he had already placed it next to the first one and said to me: “Sit down, I’ll read to you.” With these words, he took a rather large book out of his pocket, opened it where it was hidden, and began to read. I’ll briefly tell you the story I read: in the Kiev-Pechersk Lavra (whose founder, as you know, was St. Anthony), one of the elders, who held a high position and enjoyed universal respect, died. Abba, that is, the abbot, especially lamented about him, since he had in him his closest and faithful assistant in management. Much to his chagrin, the deceased decomposed so badly on the first day of his death that it was impossible to read the Gospels from him or sing requiem services not only at the tomb, but even in the next cell; a stench filled the entire (then small) monastery, and everyone considered this to be God’s punishment. When Abba stood on his rule at midnight and prayed for the repose of the newly deceased, he heard a voice from the icon of the Savior, announcing to him that the deceased had many secret sins, for which he died without repenting, and therefore could not be pardoned by God’s Justice. The next morning, the abba gathered all the brethren, announced to them the Savior’s announcement about the elder, and invited everyone to pray especially intensely for him and fast for forty days. Everyone began to strive with zeal for the soul of their brother. On the fortieth day, Abba, again in midnight prayer before the same icon of the Savior, hears a voice: “Not for the sake of your fasts and prayers for your brother bound by sins, but for the sake of My servant Anthony, who prayed to Me while still on earth, so that the souls of those who labor in this monastery created by him would not perish, I forgive the deceased name.” 176 After reading this story, Father folded the book, hid it in the side pocket of his cassock and, quickly standing up, said: “Well, let’s go, mother!” И мы тотчас же тронулись. Долго сидели мы оба молча; Knowing that Father never does anything without a purpose, I was wondering how to explain this action of his. Наконец Батюшка начал сам: «Что ж ты, матушка, призадумалась?» Abbess Taisiya. Да как не призадуматься, Батюшка! Ведь вы мне словно загадку задали. After all, I understand that you read this to me with a purpose, so I want to figure it out, to find this purpose. А может быть, вы сами мне скажете? Father John. No. Если нужно, Господь откроет тебе, а сам я ничего не скажу. Abbess Taisiya. I came to only one conclusion, and no other comes to my mind: just as the Monk Anthony begged the Lord so that everyone who labored in his monastery would not be rejected by Him, but would be saved, so with your holy prayers the Lord will save everyone living in this monastery. This is what I asked you about the other day, and I always ask. Father John. Yes, the Lord gave me this abode of yours, and I am your constant prayer book. From the excess of strong sensations caused by this event, I could not sort out my thoughts; I realized that what Father said to me after the reading was a matter of too great importance, too joyful for me and for the entire monastery; I sat, deep in my thoughts, and even forgot to thank Father for his such a priceless spiritual gift. Finally I came to my senses and told him: “Father, of course, I am powerless to thank you, and what word of gratitude can correspond to such a great gift.” Father John. Thanks be to God, and not to me, the unworthy. Do you remember the words of the apostle: It is more fitting for us to heed what is written, lest we fall away 177! Abbess Taisiya. I remember, Father, but this text is not very familiar to me, and you often repeat it; write it down for me to remember. Father John. I don’t want to, Taisiya, I’m tired. - But, after being silent for a while, he continued: - Well, come on, I’ll write! Abbess Taisiya. No, Father, if you are tired, then why bother yourself? I’ll remember it anyway, or I’ll write it down myself. – И я повторила текст. Father John. Давай, давай – напишу! Надо нудить себя; Do you hear: we must force ourselves for the benefit of our neighbors for the glory of God. Я поняла урок для себя. “Save you, Lord,” I answered, “yes, every word of yours is dear to me; I listen carefully to your speeches and then, at home, I write down everything I talked about with you. This serves as a consolation and benefit for me, and how gratifying it is to read your speeches when, having parted with you, you miss you; besides, I think it will be useful for others to hear (that is, read) your blessed conversations.” Father John. Well? You can give to others, but first let me see what you wrote down there myself. I showed Father this very notebook; he read a few pages, corrected a few things and, giving it back to me, said: Father John. I would look through it in more free time, then give it to me. It's good that you remember my words. “I praise you,” says the apostle, “for you remember my word and keep my traditions 178.” This means that my seed falls on good soil and bears fruit, contented to feed others. Abbess Taisiya. It seems to me, Father, that absent-mindedness, although in itself is not a special type of sin, almost more than other sins, it interferes with the presence of God’s grace and drowns it out. Father John. Don't you consider absent-mindedness a sin? Она есть потеря внимания. The Savior also mentioned it when he spoke about the seed that fell along the way, and when he said to the Apostle Peter: Simon, Simon, behold, Satan asks you to sow like wheat 179 (sowed, that is, scattered). Abbess Taisiya. Is this about absent-mindedness, Father? Father John. Как же, о рассеянности. Батюшка очень любил цветы и вообще природу: ему беспре­станно подносили цветы или из сада, или полевые. Бывало, возьмет в ручку розу или пион, какие расцветут к его приезду, и поцелует цветок, говоря: «Лобызаю Десницу, создавшую тебя столь дивно, столь прекрасно, благоуханно! О Творец, Творец! How marvelous You are in the smallest grass, in every petal!” Подержит, бывало, Батюшка в руке своей цветочек и отдаст кому-нибудь из присут­ствующих; и сколько радости получает с этим цветочком обладатель его! And Father continues to praise the Creator for His good deeds to people. Подадут ли ему ягод из сада, какие поспеют, он говорит: «Какой Господь-то, Отец наш Небесный, Милостивый, Добрый, Щедрый, Всеблагой! Посмотрите, поймите – Он не только дает нам насущное, необходимое пропитание, а и услаждает нас, лакомит ягодками, фруктами, и какими разнообразными по вкусу, – одни лучше других! Заметьте, вот у каждого сорта ягод свой вкус, своя сла­дость, свой аромат». One of the visitors once remarked to him that now the culture has been improved and produces better varieties of products. Father, without looking at the speaker, but continuing to look at the berries, answered: “Culture is culture, and the Creator is Creator. This is why reason was given to man, so that he could work with it, cultivate, improve, or, as they say now, cultivate first of all himself, and then other creations of God, even trees, fruits, and everything that was given into his hands by the Creator. It is easy to grow from a ready-made seed and bring it to the highest quality; but to create a seed, if it doesn’t exist, to create one drop of water where there is none - try it with your culture! You can build waterfalls from ready-made water, from ready-made substances - earth, sand, clay - you can build any kind of masses, but in the absence of these substances, what would you do? O All-Merciful Creator, Heavenly Father, until Your creation recognizes You and falls to dust before Your greatness?!” Father also loved to pick berries in the garden himself and eat them straight from the branch. Sometimes he would climb into raspberry bushes or strawberry beds, eat, and call: “Mother, there are thieves in your kindergarten. Why don’t you take good care of your property?” He loved our kindergarten and every time before leaving the monastery he came into it and, as if pitying it, said goodbye to it: “Farewell, kindergarten! Thank you for the pleasure you always give me! How many bright moments I spent in your solitude! and the like. It happened that you would say to him: “Our dear Father, won’t you come to us next year?” He will answer: “The future is in the hands of God: if I live, I will come.” Если случалось, что Батюшка приезжал к нам во время сенокоса, то мы с ним ездили и на покос к сестрам, всегда приноравливая к тому времени, когда они там пьют чай. What a joy it is for the sisters! Подъезжаем, бывало, и издали уже виднеются черные фигуры в белых фартуках и белых платочках. At a distance, samovars are also smoking; тут же на траве разостлана большая простая деревенская (бранная) скатерть, пригнетенная по краям камушками, чтобы не поднимало ее ветром; there are about a hundred tea cups and sugar on it; Nearby there are bags of pretzels (bags). Как только подъедет Батюшка, певчие сестры грянут любимый Батюшкин задостойник: «Радуйся, Царице». Батюшка идет к приготовленному для него столику, но иногда прежде погуляет по покосу, посидит на сене, побеседует с сенокосницами, и затем начинается чаепитие. Все собираются к кипящим кубам и самоварчикам, садятся на траву, и Батюшка сам раздает им из мешка баранки, многим дает чай из своего стакана и вообще старается всех утешить. Когда он уезжает с покоса, все бегут провожать его, певчие поют ему «Многолетие», пока экипаж не скроется из вида. Вообще Батюшка любил наше пение и ежедневно призывал кли­рошанок петь, по большей части в саду, иногда и в «Пустыньке», а при дождливой погоде и в кельях. Ежедневно после обеда подходила к нему регентша, которой он назначал, какие пьесы петь ему. Sometimes he listened to them silently, with concentration, in a prayerful mood; иногда стоял или даже ходил среди их и объяснял им смысл поемого, особенно ирмосов; sometimes he enthusiastically sang with them and directed them with his hand. Когда случалось нам с ним кататься по Волге, по его благословению я брала с собою на пароход от четырех до шести певчих, которые пели ему на пароходе, а также и в побережных церквах, где он останавливался для совершения Литур­гии, без чего не мог провести ни одного дня. Father John. Ни Соломон во всей славе своей не одевался так, как каждая из полевых лилий. Если Отец Небесный так одевает цветок, который сегодня есть, а завтра брошен будет в печь, то не тем ли более вас, маловерные 180 . Как очевидна истина слова Божия: Ищите прежде Царствия Божия и правды Его, а все остальное приложится вам 181 . I experience this on myself: since I began to intensely seek and exclusively care about pleasing the Lord through prayer and deeds of mercy to my neighbors and others, I have almost no need to take care of myself, that is, of my external needs; меня, по милости Божией, одевают, обувают, угощают добрые люди и сочтут за обиду, если бы я не принял их усердия. I answered him: “And if you only knew, Father, how nice it is to do something for you, even to serve you in some way! And would you believe it, Father, that for everything you do for you, you will soon be rewarded a hundredfold! I personally experienced this myself, and I heard it from many.” Father John. I believe, and I see it in practice; Yes, this is in the order of things; за все воздает нам Господь, даже за чашу холодной воды, поданную во имя Его. Abbess Taisiya. And in this regard, I often remember the words: Receive the righteous in the name of the righteous; he will accept the reward of the righteous 182. I know that this was said to the apostles and not in the relation that we are now talking about, but in general about faith and zeal for the righteous, that is, for people who have completely surrendered to God. Father John. Do you remember the apostolic word: God is not offended, forgetting your deeds and labors of love, just as you showed in His name, serving the saints 183. Of course, we should not mean the saints living in Heaven, but His servants who work for Him for the salvation of people. But He strictly judges those who dare to slander them, especially to slander innocently! As He says through the prophet Zechariah: touch you (that is, God’s chosen ones), as if you touch the apple of His (God’s) eye 184 . You see, the Lord calls them His “eye”! And the saints loved the Lord so much! Despite their weak carnal nature, horrified and thoughts of torment and torture, for the sake of the love of Christ they willingly accepted all suffering and death, just so as not to be rejected from Him in eternity. Behold, Saint Ignatius the God-Bearer personally asked and wrote in his letter to the Roman Christians when they wanted to free him from the martyrdom that lay ahead of him: “Do not forbid me (that is, do not prevent me from coming to the Lord), I want to be ground (that is, ground) by the teeth of beasts, so that I may be a sacrifice acceptable to my Lord!” 185 This is high, holy love! In 1903, while he was with us, Father Archpriest John laid the foundation stone for the winter Trinity Church in front of a huge crowd of people, since that year there were teacher courses 186 here, in which over seventy teachers took part. It would be a sin to remain silent about one event of too great importance, which took place through the prayers of Father John in front of the whole village and was known to the entire neighborhood, about which at one time everyone talked and wrote, and now, after the death of Father, Mr. M.A. mentioned in the newspapers what happened at that time in our monastery. Goltison 187 . This was also in 1903, back in early June. Anthrax 188 appeared throughout the local area. Cows and horses died several times a day. Quarantines were set up on all sides, and I thought with horror about how I would go for Father and how I would bring him to the monastery, because everyone who came to us by boat from more remote areas had to walk the entire 10 miles from the pier to us. In the monastery, no livestock actually died, there was no epizootic; but from there, surrounded by quarantines, it was impossible to get anywhere except on foot. Finally, it became necessary to resolve the issue, that is, either to warn Father about the impossibility of visiting our Leushino, or, disregarding the danger of exposing all our livestock to epizootics, to decide to go; and I, having prayed with faith, chose the latter. With all sorts of precautions, at night, in order to avoid the heat of the day, I rode to the pier on a light, simple one-horse tarantass. Two versts before it, in quarantine, we barely made it through, and only because everyone knew that everything was still safe in the monastery. We had barely passed this outpost when, unfortunately for us, two drays crossed the road, carrying fallen horses to be buried in a designated place. My horror and fear doubled, and I was almost sure that I had to lose my horse. Somehow we finally got to the pier and, with all the precautions, having sprayed and smoked, we put the horse into the stable. In the morning I went to meet Father and on the ship I told him everything. After listening to me in silence, Father got up from his seat and began to walk along the ladder of the ship and pray. After half an hour, he sat down next to me again and said: “What a treasure is prayer! With it you can ask for everything from the Lord, receive everything, every good, overcome every temptation, every misfortune, every grief.” I was already beginning to realize, from these words, that our misfortune, anthrax, would be overcome by his prayers, which I expressed to him. The priest replied: “Well, everything is possible for believers 189!” When the ship approached the Borki pier, more than one hundred houseowners and housewives had already gathered there, intending to ask Father to pray for deliverance from such a severe punishment as the loss of livestock. “What will we do without cattle, breadwinner? After all, you can’t plow the land, nothing, even go around the world! It’s already poor enough, but now there’s this kind of trouble.” - “For your sins, the Lord allowed such misfortune to happen to you; After all, you are forgetting God. For example, holidays were given to us so that we could go to church and pray to God, but you get drunk; and you know what’s good when you’re drunk!” - “Obviously, Father is the breadwinner, what good is there in drunkenness, only evil.” - “So do you admit, my friends, that you are receiving retribution for your sins?” - “How not to admit it, breadwinner! Pray for us, sinners!” And everyone fell at their feet. The priest ordered to bring a tub and immediately draw water from the river. Having performed a brief blessing of water, he said: “Every householder take this water for himself, sprinkle it on his cattle and go and work with God. The Lord has had mercy on you." Then Father went ashore, where our horses were already standing, which he himself had sprinkled, as well as the horse that had brought me to the pier, and we fearlessly rode to the monastery. On the same day, all the peasants went wherever they needed to, all quarantines were lifted, only one memory remained of the ulcer, combined with reverent surprise at the great prayer book of the Russian land. Although there was no loss of livestock in our monastery, we nevertheless asked Father to sprinkle it and pray for its preservation for the common benefit. And our bottomless prayer book, having performed the blessing of water, ordered all the cattle to be led past him one by one, and he sprinkled each one separately with holy water, as well as the horses. In general, Father loved animals. As an example of this, I can cite an incident to which I and everyone on the ship were eyewitnesses. Once Father and I were traveling on a steamboat along the Volga upstream, against the current, at about 5 o’clock in the afternoon, during haymaking time. Everyone was on the gangway, where Father was reading a book to us, and we surrounded him, some sitting on chairs, some on benches, and some on the floor. Having stopped reading, Father turned to the former captain of the ship, A.A. M. and said: “Let’s go, friend, slowly: it’s a wonderful evening, and the aroma from fresh hay is a pleasure!” Walking quietly, we approached a large village, widely spread along the banks of the Volga, and on the opposite bank there was a meadow where hay was still being harvested: some were throwing stacks, others were putting it on a cart to take it across the river to the village on a ferry that stood at the other bank. Suddenly one horse with a huge cart of hay, having rolled it onto the ferry, could not stop and rushed straight into the water, dragging with it both the cart and the peasant owner who was holding it. There was an unimaginable commotion on the ferry; both the horse and the hay were doomed to certain death. The peasant, throwing the reins into the river, immediately got into the boat and headed downstream, where the horse and cart should have been carried. Our ship stopped completely; We all looked in horror at what we thought was the dying animal. But what happened? The priest, standing right next to the board on the ramp, crossed himself all the time, prayed, saying out loud: “Lord, have mercy on your creation, this innocent horse! Lord, You created her to serve man: do not destroy, have mercy, All-Good Creator!” and the like. He often made the sign of the cross in the air towards the horse, which floated with the cart, as if walking along the bottom. When she swam to the very middle of the river, where it is very deep, her heart simply froze, looking at her: just about, you think, she will disappear under the water; but she continued to swim and was already not far from the other shore. The peasant, sailing behind her in a boat, also swam to the shore; he picked up the reins that were dragging on the water, got ahead of the horse and helped it lift the cart to the shore. Other men came running from the village and began to help the victim together. First, they unharnessed the horse, and it, feeling out of danger, began to shake itself off, roll around, that is, roll on the grass, and then cheerfully stood up on its feet. The hay got wet, but not all the way to the top, although it seemed to us that only the top of it was no longer in the water. Since this was in front of everyone, and everyone saw how Father John prayed for the salvation of the animal, many people gathered on the shore, led by the owner of the horse, to thank the dear prayer book and the common sad father, but he, avoiding this, immediately ordered the captain of the ship to move on. The Lord deigned me to see and hear many, very many edifying and gratifying things during my stay with Father John. He had an amazing ability to turn the smallest incidents, apparently unnoticeable, ordinary, not worth even attention, into useful edification for those around him. Here's an example. We were all once with him on the gangway of the ship, where, as usual, Father read to us. Having finished reading, he sat in silence, only ordering that the table on which the books lay be cleared away. There was a strong wind; Fearing that he would plow the books into the river, I began to collect books to take them to the cabin. Father, who was looking intently at the floor, called out to me and said: “Mother, look how the poor fly is beating! See, there she is! The poor thing was knocked to the floor, she couldn’t get up, but still she didn’t lose hope, she fought the wind: it carried her back, but she crawled again; what a clever girl! This is how the enemy, the devil, fights the soul, carries it like a whirlwind away from the path of salvation along which it goes, but it fights and does not yield to him. So the fly teaches us, gives us a lesson.” It happened that he admired the sunset on a clear summer evening and said: “How marvelous is the Creator in His creation! Just look at this sun, what a wondrous beauty! And if the creation is so majestic, then what about the Creator Himself, what is He like!” And you can’t count such and similar conversations and fragmentary phrases of Father with which he delighted the spirit of his companions. I will not describe how many amazing, varied healings have taken place before our eyes, because they are both countless and known to everyone; but it is no less worthy to commemorate the cases that speak of his insight and foresight and, in general, of his closeness to the spiritual world. During his secret prayer, he seemed to contemplate God before his eyes and talked with Him as with a Being close to him. It was as if he was asking God and receiving information from Him. I can give the following example of this. One day Father was sitting on the ladder of the ship alone, reading his little travel Gospel, which he held in his hands. I was also on the ramp, but far from him. Suddenly Father, seeing me, made a sign with his hand for me to come up to him, which, of course, I willingly did. “Listen, mother,” he turned to me, sitting me down next to him, “what a wrong translation: I said in my madness 190 translated: “I said in my madness” - isn’t that right at all?” I answered that it should have been translated: “I said in admiration, in the delight of feelings,” with which further words are consistent: What will I repay to the Lord for all who I have repaid? 191 Father approved of my words and, lowering the little book, sat silently 192. Taking advantage of his calm mood and idle moments, I decided to express to him my disturbing thoughts about the afterlife of my mother, who, being a completely religious Christian, at the same time strongly opposed my going to the monastery and did not want to give me her blessing for this 193 . I was worried about the thought of whether the Lord would impute sin to her, this was her stubbornness. And so, at the moment described, I asked Father about this. He told me: “Pray for her,” and, continuing to sit motionless with the Gospel in his hands, he concentratedly looked into the distance. I no longer repeated the question, and we sat with him in silence for about a quarter of an hour. Suddenly Father, turning to me, said firmly: “She has been pardoned!” I did not dare to understand these words as an answer to my question, considering it already over, and, looking at Father in bewilderment, I asked: “Who has been pardoned? Who did you say that about?” - “Who were you asking me about? About your mother? - he objected. “Well, so I’m telling you that she has been pardoned.” “Father, dear,” I continued, “you speak as if you have received a message from above.” - “How could it be otherwise? After all, you can’t talk about such things without notification—it’s not a joke.” I can give examples not only of Father’s insight, but also of the fact that in the name of God he powerfully forbade the demons, whose machinations he obviously saw. I will give just a few of them. Once I had the opportunity to travel with Father on the Baltic Railway, just the two of us, in a separate compartment. I wanted to talk to him alone about some necessary matter. A cordial, spiritual, frank conversation began. Suddenly, Father impulsively, quickly rose to his feet (without leaving the place where he was sitting) and, raising his right hand up, shook it in the air, as if threatening someone, and, looking straight into the distance (not to the side), said loudly: “May the Lord God forbid you!” Having said these words, he crossed himself, sat down in his place and looked at me with his usual gentle smile and, putting his hand on my shoulder, said: “What, mother, weren’t you scared?” “I was scared, Father,” I answered, “but I immediately understood that you forbade the demons; do you really see them? - “Yes, mother, yes! But what can we say about this? Let’s continue our sweet conversation.” Thus, in this conversation we reached Oranienbaum; Father headed off to the ship going to Kronstadt, and I returned to St. Petersburg with the same train, without leaving the carriage, consoled and encouraged by the conversation with the great man who has power over the spirits of evil in the heavens 194 . I can give the following second similar case. On the day of our courtyard church's feast of the Holy Apostle John the Theologian, Father always served with us; For this purpose, he came to the all-night vigil the day before, went out to the veneration, and read the akathist and canon himself. Then he stayed overnight with us and on the feast itself celebrated the late Liturgy with other priests at 10 o’clock. He always got up early, sometimes at 4 or 5 o’clock, wrote a sermon or his notes, and at about 7–8 o’clock he went to get some fresh air, and he always took me with him. We usually went to the islands, where in the morning it was always empty and secluded, which, with the clean fresh air, really constituted rest and joy for the shepherd, surrounded throughout the whole day by people and bustle. Father used these hours for secret contemplative prayer, and I, knowing this, never disturbed it with any conversations, except in those cases when he himself spoke to me. Once we were driving along the Nikolaevsky Bridge, from where the coachman was ordered in advance to turn left along the embankment. When our carriage reached the chapel on the bridge, a dead man was being carried along the embankment on the left side. The road with the coffin was carried by one horse, and there were no more than eight or ten mourners, which is why each of them was clearly visible. Father suddenly changed his face; he looked intently at the funeral procession and, since it walked along the embankment parallel to our carriage on my (left) side, he had to lean towards my side, and I could not help but see the change in his face. Finally, the procession turned to the 1st line, and Father, having calmed down somewhat, began to cross himself. Then, turning to me, he said: “How terrible it is for drunkards to die!” Assuming that Father was talking about the deceased because he recognized those accompanying his coffin, I asked: “Do you know him, Father?” He answered me: “The same as you.” Still not understanding anything, I explained my assumption to him, adding that I didn’t know any of those accompanying him. “Me too,” he said, “but I see demons rejoicing over the destruction of the drunkard’s soul.” I cannot keep silent about the time this righteous man spent in our monastery last 1908. This was his last visit. He was already very weak, could hardly eat anything, spoke little, read more and more, secluded himself, but served every day in the cathedral church, which he always praised so much and about which he spoke more than once that it was easy for him to serve in it, which I have already mentioned. He stayed with us in the monastery for 9 days, and on the day of departure he asked me: “How many days did I stay with you, mother?” When I answered, he continued: “I’ve celebrated the nineties on my own, I won’t be with you anymore. Thank you, thank you for all your diligence, for your love, for everything!” The sisters saw him off, as usual, with singing and tears - it was clear to everyone that the priceless lamp was burning out. When he and I left the monastery and, having passed the village of Leushino, turned left into the fields, Father began to turn back and look at the monastery. Assuming that he had forgotten something or wanted to say something to those driving behind us, I asked him about it, but he answered: “I admire your monastery once again: a quiet, holy monastery! May the Lord protect her; truly God is with you!” Now these wonderful, joyful words serve us as great, high consolation. From the Borki pier we took a boat to Rybinsk and down the Volga to the distant Kama, where Father 195 was invited. With us were five sister singers, who, by order of Father, conducted services on the ship and sang to him during the day at his request. This remained the only consolation from the usual passing of time on the ship. On the eve of the day when we were supposed to part with Father, he asked the sister singers to sing all the numbers of the Cherubic songs that they knew. There were a lot of them (since they had the notes with them), and the sisters, standing next to Father, began to sing. When it was the turn of “Simonovskaya” Kherubimskaya, Father said: “This is my favorite song, I sang it myself when I was a boy,” and asked to repeat it. Then they sang, according to Father’s instructions: “He rejoices in You” and “The Highest of Heaven.” During the entire singing, the priest sat in a chair at the side of the ship, wrapped in a warm cassock, and, sitting, chanted with his right hand and sang along. When they sang “The Highest of Heaven,” he remarked: “This is good, but it’s a new tune, and I sang differently,” and in his melodious, but already senile, trembling voice, he sang this whole song to the end, that is, until “how can we be saved.” Everyone shed tears, and how could it have been otherwise? Having sung, Father stood up and, turning to the singers, said: “Well, God grant that we all be saved! Thank you, sisters, for your beautiful sweet singing, with which you have always consoled me.” The next day, Father and I parted: it was July 6, 1908. Concluding these recordings of my conversations with the unforgettable Father John, I consider it worthwhile to add: 1) The purpose of publishing these recordings is solely to share this spiritual treasure with believers, since they too can learn a lot of edifying things from them. Here I opened my soul to Father, which I did not hesitate to convey to the readers; but they too are people who live on earth and are also burdened with infirmities, therefore they will be lenient towards my shortcomings. 2) I ask you to believe everything written here, taking into account that I could not have any motivation to speak untruths against the deceased, who was already standing before the face of God. If I had written 196 this during his lifetime, then one could still suspect me as a supporter and admirer of Father; but this would also be inconsistent with my views, for I cannot help but understand the importance of this issue, and in my advanced years this would be unforgivable. I am already 70 years old, I am preparing to follow Father into eternity. Oh, dear Father! How much you consoled me during my life, sweetened the bitterness of the sea of ​​life for me! But even after your departure, you left me many sweet memories. In blessed memory of the good shepherd of Kronstadt I am reporting one of the outstanding events of my life. In the first half of December last year, 1911, I caught a bad cold. According to my custom of never turning to doctors and medications, I did not change it this time, although I felt the rapid progress of the disease, which intensified my suffering every day. Finally, around December 20, the illness overcame me and completely laid me down; I had “catarrhal inflammation of part of the right lung and the entire pulmonary hymen.” I cannot describe all the painful and severe suffering. With a complete lack of sleep and at over seventy years of age, there could be no hope of recovery. On January 1 and 2, 1912, the crisis of the disease was expected, further complicated by fever and delirium - temporary unconsciousness. And in this state, Father appears to me in a dream, or in oblivion (since I could not sleep), as follows. I am in the Theological Skete of the Leushinsky Monastery, in the favorite place of Father John (the so-called “Pustynka”). I am completely alone: ​​there is no one in the church or in the cells adjacent to it. From my cell, through the gallery adjacent to it, I go into the altar through the door on the right side. As soon as she crossed the threshold, she froze in place in surprise, for she saw her dear, ever-memorable father and spiritual friend, Archpriest John (of Kronstadt). He stood opposite the altar, facing east, in his hands he had a small book, like a Service Book or a Canon, from which he read. He was wearing a silk light-lilac cassock, over it a white brocade stole with gold gaskets, and a pectoral cross on his chest. He stands there, reads and doesn’t seem to notice me, so I thought – is this a ghost? Finally I decide to ask: “Dear Father, is that you? Where did you come from? He quickly turned around, put the little book on the altar and with the words: “Ah, hello, Taisiya,” he walked towards me between the holy throne and the Royal Doors. Approaching me and blessing me, he repeated again: “Hello, mother, I’m following you!” I was very happy, assuming that he was inviting me to go for a ride, as during my life he often took me for a ride with him, and it was free and convenient to reveal to him my state of mind, I answered him: “I’m very glad, Father, but who did you come with?” “With no one, alone,” he replies, “I’m telling you that I came for you; but first of all, tell me, is there any deserted farmstead or dacha, or even a deserted cell, where you and I can live?” I am completely perplexed and say: “I don’t have anything like that, and why do we need it? After all, now I am very old, completely infirm, weak, and I can neither prepare nor serve anything for you.” - “And you don’t need anything!” - he answers. “Father, you are my dear! What would be more desirable than to be always with you, but I’ll starve you to death there, and what are we going to do there, what to do, since I’m not capable of anything?” - “I tell you that nothing is needed there, and there is only one thing to do there - unceasing prayer.” Still not trusting myself, that is, my concept - that he is talking about the afterlife - I reject this conversation and move on to another subject and ask: “Father, you will probably serve with us today here in Pustynka, and, of course, you will join me too, but I really want to, I haven’t joined for a long time, I even cried about being deprived of this happiness.” - “Why didn’t you join?” “There is no spiritual father,” I answer. – I mean not just a list of sins, which is easy to do in front of every priest, but the soul longs to open up, cry, sigh, relieve itself from the heavy burden that accumulates from the unbearable vanity of everyday life, from the impressions of the present world. Remember, Father, it used to be with you - you will open your whole soul to you and it will become easy; and now it’s hard for my soul without you, very hard!” To this, Father said: “Well, let’s go to church and talk!” And we parted ways; he went his way past the altar into the northern doors, and I took my way, through the cell, and entered through the door on the right side of the church. When I entered, Father was already sitting on a chair in the corner by the left window overlooking the garden, and the back of the chair was leaning against the wall that separated the church from the cell. I walked straight up to Father and knelt down on his right side; he put his right hand on my head and said: “Well, let’s talk, what bothers you the most?!” And I began to tell him, although in a dream, or in oblivion, and, moreover, in a painful half-consciousness, but it was precisely what confused me more that I received from Father the most complete definite answers and instructions 197. In conclusion, he seemed to have decided: “The economy of God does not know the extent to which human untruths can be permissible (or tolerated)” and the like. Our conversation was still going on, when suddenly the door opened a small crack and one of the ladies who had previously traveled with Father, V.I., appeared in it. Ya., and turning to me, says: “Mother, don’t detain Father too much!” This was their (carriage workers') usual phrase. Father was very indignant at her for this, quickly got up from his chair and, stopping almost in the middle of the church, said sternly: “Don’t you think that I will travel with you again, I said that I came to see my mother and for my mother.” “I know,” she answered, “but I feel sorry for the people who are looking for you.” Father looked around the church - and there was no one anywhere, he and I were completely alone, but suddenly his gaze stopped at the window near which he was sitting, through which he could see a multitude of people filling the garden. Father no longer approached the window, but, taking a deep breath, said: “Sheep that have no shepherds!” Then, turning to me again, he said: “So, mother, you don’t have any farm or hut?” - “No, my dear, I have nothing!” - “Well, then I’ll go and take care of you, otherwise where will I take you. In the meantime, get ready so that the next time I come for you, you will be ready!” And he became invisible to me, although he never left the church, and I was still left alone. From that time on I began to get better... Small skete “Pustynka”, or “Cross”, with a church in the name of the holy Apostle and Evangelist John the Theologian The name “Pustynka”, or “Cross”, is a small hermitage with the church of St. John the Theologian. Its second name, “Cross,” may seem inconsistent with the name of the monastery, but its very origin is somewhat unusual and is closely connected with the name of the venerable shepherd, father of Archpriest John of Kronstadt, for whom this was a favorite place. In 1892, on his way back from his homeland, he visited our monastery on June 15, intending to stay there for several days. Of course, all the deserted hospitality of the monastery was aimed at reassuring the distinguished guest, but how could she express her cordiality? By the way, I invited Father to ride through the fields and forests of the monastery and bless them, to which he readily agreed. At that time, the monastery did not yet have spring carriages, nor did it employ a coachman, whose duty was performed by one of the sisters. We drove through the forest for a long time and did not notice how the wheeled road began to stop, being replaced only by a path for pedestrians. The sister driving the horse drew our attention to this, saying that it was dangerous to ride further - we could drive into such a thicket that it would be impossible to make a turn, and now, in order to turn, we would have to get off the tarantass and wait until she turns, choosing a more convenient place for this. We immediately went out, and Father said to me: “While you and I are looking for strawberries.” To this I replied: “What a strawberry, Father, at this time! Here she rarely makes it on Peter’s Day, and even in such a wilderness: there are only pine trees and moss.” The priest did not answer, but bent down, as if looking for something on the ground. A few minutes later, the nun, turning her horse, rode up to this place, and Father came up to me with a bouquet of strawberries picked with stems and, handing them, smilingly said: “So I brought some berries.” I couldn’t believe my eyes and, turning to the nun, said: “We need to notice this place. Do strawberries really ripen so early here?” The nun also expressed doubts. However, we noticed the place, and I decided, as soon as we arrived at the monastery, to send the sisters here to look for strawberries, which was done. But of course, due to the early times and the nature of the soil, no strawberries could be found here. Nevertheless, this place became the subject of everyone's attention, even everyone who came felt it was their duty to visit it, which forced them to put up a cross instead of a driven peg. This is where the name of this monastery “Cross” originates, since it became common to say: “we were at the cross”, “let’s go to the cross”. Akathists and canons were often read in front of this cross, especially by people who had some kind of sorrow, who then declared that, having prayed there, they found relief. No bad weather, even in winter, prevented those wishing to visit this place. This circumstance forced me to turn to the then Archbishop of Novgorod Theognostus 198 with a request for permission to erect a small chapel with a cell not for anyone to live there, but a chapel for casual visitors, and a cell as a resting place for me, burdened by the bustle of the authorities, where I could indulge in prayerful focus and silence in the silence of the forest. In 1893, for the arrival of Father John, a chapel with a cell was already ready, where the venerable shepherd retired for his prayerful deeds, sometimes spending most of the day here. In 1898, Archbishop Feognost, while surveying the Leushinsky monastery, visited this chapel. Entering the cell, devoid of any modest decoration, he sat down on a simple wooden bench in front of the same unpainted table, took a deep breath, and tears glistened in his eyes. Then he said: “Mother, what bliss you have here! How easy it is to breathe here!” To this I replied that he also had a bishop’s manor near Novgorod, in which he could retire. But he objected: “Oh, you don’t know: I’m going to the dacha, but things have already rushed me there.” After sitting for a while, he suddenly began to plan: “If only these two windows could be turned into an arch, and a small altar could be added - then there would be a church, what bliss!” Not believing my ears with joy, for this was also my cherished dream, I answered him: “Holy Lord! That would be very good! Yes, I didn’t even dare to ask for it; after all, the church needs a priest: it’s impossible for a regular priest to be here, but we’re having a hard time finding a regular elder for the monastery.” To this the bishop said: “Why, why a separate priest? After all, on a holiday you should always be in the monastery church with the sisters; and on weekdays, whenever you want, even a free priest from your two can serve here. If you want, submit a petition: I will allow it. Draw at least a small plan for this chapel yourself and how you propose to attach an altar to it. I myself see everything in place and on this basis I can resolve it.” I didn’t know how to thank the bishop, and I hastened to do what was proposed. This was in the month of May. When Father John arrived in July of the same year, according to custom, I told him about the result of Archbishop Theognostus’ visit to “Pustynka.” Father John crossed himself and repeated several times: “Glory to Thee, Lord!” When I asked him why he had never previously expressed his desire for a church to be here, he replied: “I have trusted in the Lord, His will be done, not mine; and so He Himself deigned to carry out His holy will.” This is how the “Pustynka” came into being with a church in the name of the holy Apostle and Evangelist John the Theologian! In the same year, they began to stockpile timber and all the necessary material for adding an altar and other fixtures necessary for the church. Since the matter was simple, the extension was small, by the next month of July, by the time Father John arrived, the church was already ready and, with the blessing of the archbishop, consecrated by Father John in the name of the holy Apostle and Evangelist John the Theologian. One of my close friends, an institute friend, Elizaveta Pasmurova, worked hard to make a marble throne. She, as well as other acquaintances and benefactors, delivered all the necessary utensils for the church, so that the monastery did not have to burden the monastery with anything, just as the monastery funds did not have to be spent on all the expenses for the extension, since the St. Petersburg merchant U. Sorokina donated 500 rubles for this item. To this day, this “Pustynka” is a favorite place for the entire monastery and its pilgrims, and now, since the death of Father John, it will become even more precious and pleasant for everyone who appreciated this great and unforgettable shepherd. The church in it is small, adjacent to an equally small room where pilgrims stand in the winter, and in the summer they are located around it in the open air, where with the windows open, all the services can be clearly heard. There is no bell tower, and there are no bells, except for one six-pound one, due to lack of funds. It is located on the south side of the monastery, at a distance of about one mile. There is now a beautiful road built there. 199 Handwritten notes by Father John of Kronstadt on separate sheets of paper, kept by Abbess Taisia It was not in vain that I mentioned and still mention Tolstoy. This new, self-proclaimed teacher and writer humiliates all the saints of the Orthodox Church, all the apostles, martyrs, saints, universal teachers and inimitable heroes - Chrysostom, Basil the Great, Gregory the Theologian and all the great ascetics and teachers of Christianity, humiliates the entire Church, not recognizing its Divine authority, truth and salvation, elevating only himself and his mind and elevating it to an unattainable height, attributing infallibility to himself alone. But from the fruits the tree is known 200. Look what Tolstoy's teaching gave rise to in Russians: unbridled minds, hearts and wills, licentiousness of morals, breaking of sacred marriage bonds, Epicurean enjoyment of life, unbelief and godlessness of many, worship of one's own reason, self-delusion, demonic pride and suicide. Reasonable and God-fearing people, of course, will soon recognize the absurdity and destruction of Tolstoy’s teaching; but many are carried away by it, because, like all heresies, Tolstoy’s also has some enticement for the weak. May the Lord save the Russian people from such and similar destructive teachings and may He establish us in unanimity and right faith and fear of God. Let us all try to bring God the fruits of repentance and good deeds, let us crucify the flesh with passions and lusts 201 as corruptible and transitory, and be diligent about the immortal soul, about correcting it and adorning it with every virtue. Amen. The Church of God is a smelter for refining human nature, rusted by every sin; a bathhouse for washing away the defilements of the flesh and spirit; a school for teaching the ignorant and erring; the sun, enlightening and reviving those darkened and killed by sins; a doctor's office where spiritual wounds are healed; a sanctuary in which sinful defilements are removed and sanctified by the grace of the Holy Spirit and the mysterious services of our souls and bodies; heaven on earth, in which we feed on immortal, incorruptible food - the Body and Blood of Christ; the mysterious Mount Sinai, from which the True Lawgiver Christ God continually proclaims His will to us; the true Church of God and the Kingdom of Heaven, in which all members of the Body of Christ, heavenly, earthly and underworld, unite mysteriously and spiritually; here is the entire Church of the Firstborn - here the forefathers, patriarchs, prophets, apostles, saints, martyrs, saints and all the righteous rejoice and together with us praise the One God, Savior and Giver of Life. Just as an Ethiopian cannot change his skin, and a lynx cannot change his motley colors, so you cannot do good, having learned evil 202 (disposition, habit of sin). The church of God is holy, just as you are 203... Do you not know that you are the church of God? 204 All of you, my beloved brothers, have come to this church to repent, throw off the burden of sins, reconcile with God and with your conscience, receive peace of mind, freedom, lightness of the soul, renewal, strength for a virtuous life. But what is sin that darkens, clouds, shames, and destroys us all? This is the creation of the devil, an evil spirit who has lost his first kindness and lightness, through pride and resistance to God, and is full of unimaginable evil. This is a fierce ulcer, a wound that covers all of humanity, a purulent scab that stinks on the entire human race, a common terrible aphid that gradually, and sometimes extremely quickly, decays all of humanity, as it was under Noah, under Abraham and Lot, as it is now. This is death in embryo, threatening to turn into the eternal death of souls. There is only one remedy against this illness, against this ulcer, this purulent scab, this aphid - faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and sincere repentance. The wisest, most educated people, the strongest and greatest people in the world, who have accomplished many great deeds, could not overcome sin within themselves, just as today’s secularly educated and intelligent people and the great people of the world cannot overcome sin on their own without faith in Christ. On the other two notes, the original words of the Holy Scripture are given from the Bible according to the Russian Synodal translation: on one - Ps. 31:1–2 205 and Ps. 17:10–16 206 ; on the other - Acts. 17:30–31 207, with two words added: “Sinaitic legislation.” Biography of Abbess Taisia Abbess Taisiya (in the world Maria Vasilievna Solopova) was born in 1842 into the family of a hereditary nobleman, landowner of the Borovichi district of the Novgorod province Vasily Vasilyevich Solopov and Victoria Dmitrievna, née Pushkina. Maria's father graduated from the Naval Cadet Corps in St. Petersburg, sailed on the ship "Poltava", the frigate "Pallada", and on February 6, 1835 he was assigned to the Naval Cadet Corps. On April 4, 1851, Vasily Solopov retired with the rank of captain of the 2nd rank and settled in the family estate Abakumovo (Abakonovo) near Borovichi. The mother of the future abbess Taisiya, “a Muscovite, from the Pushkin family” 208, was the daughter of the collegiate assessor Dmitry Vasilyevich Pushkin and, after the death of her parents, she was raised by her grandfather, General Osip Aleksandrovich Vasilevsky. Victoria Dmitrievna was educated at Madame Desalles' Moscow boarding school and was married off in 1838 at the age of fifteen. The first two children died in infancy. Later, Victoria Dmitrievna told her eldest daughter: “I prayed a lot and fervently that the Lord would not deprive me of this consolation, but would give me at least one child, leaving him alive; I especially prayed to the Mother of God about this, deliberately went on foot to Her churches to Her miraculous icons, before which I poured out my tearful prayers. And the Lady, the Hope of the unreliable, did not put me to shame. She gave me a child - a daughter, whom I, out of a feeling of gratitude to Her, called by Her name - Mary" 209. Victoria Dmitrievna raised her daughter in love for God and her neighbors, taught her to pray and charity, and talked a lot about the events of Sacred history and the sufferings of the Savior. On December 9, 1852, Maria Solopova was enrolled in the Pavlovsk Institute in St. Petersburg, an educational institution for orphans of military officers. In February 1853, she arrived at the institute, but soon fell ill: “I had severe headaches, then inflammation of the eyes, and I became completely blind” 210. On May 27, 1854, after a four-month stay in the Denike private eye clinic, Maria was sent on leave to undergo treatment “in the open air.” By the end of the year, her vision began to return, and the girl was able to continue her studies at the institute. On December 11, 1861, at the age of nineteen, Maria Solopova graduated from the Pavlovsk Institute and received a certificate from the Ministry of Public Education for the title of home teacher. During her years of study at the institute, the future abbess Taisiya had two spiritual visions that determined her future fate. The first visited her on Easter night in the institute infirmary, during a measles epidemic: “I open my eyes and in surprise I see quite clearly and obviously, in the complete darkness of the night, some creature, sun-like, light, winged, flying under the ceiling and repeating in a human voice the words: “Christ is risen! Christ is risen!” 211. Secondly, shortly before the end of the institute, on the night of August 16, after communion of the Holy Mysteries, Mary saw the Savior with a host of saints, threw herself at the feet of Christ, “stretched out her hands to embrace them and kiss His feet” - but the Savior “stretched out His right hand, which was lowered, and, touching the crown of my head, said: “It is not the time yet”" 212. The priest to whom Mary revealed her vision said: “This is your calling; keep this secret, and the Lord Himself will complete His work” 213. Abbess herself. Taisiya subsequently assessed this wonderful vision as a “decisive and final revolution” that determined her future life. At the final exams on the Law of God, Maria Solopova amazed the rector of the Moscow Theological Academy, Archimandrite, who examined her. Joannikia (Rudneva) knew by heart all the Gospel texts. He sent her a book with his inscription as a gift and admonished her with the words: “God will not abandon His work! those whom he has chosen (Mark 13:20), he will also justify them and direct them to the path of eternal salvation” 214. However, Mary’s desire to devote her life to serving God and to enter a monastery did not meet with sympathy from her parents. At the end of August 1862, after several months spent in the Abakumovo estate, Maria Solopova settled with her younger brother Kostya in Borovichi, in the house she inherited from the deceased General Vasilevsky. She taught lessons for her brother, whom she was preparing to enter the corps, and four other noble children, attended divine services every day, prayed a lot, read, and helped those in need. She gave her own earrings to Hieromonk Arseny, the collector monk who arrived in Borovichi with Athonite shrines. The mother, having learned about Mary’s act, demanded that she find the monk and return the earrings. It is significant that in 1865 the name of Hieromonk Arseny (Minin) was also found in the diaries of Father John of Kronstadt. In his travels throughout Russia, Father Arseny visited many cities, including Borovichi and Kronstadt, proving to be the first invisible thread connecting the two ascetics. Archimandrite provided spiritual support to Maria Solopova at this time. Veniamin (Pozdnyakov), abbot of the Holy Spiritual Monastery, in which the relics of St. right Jacob Borovichsky. Through him, Maria met Archimandrite. Lavrentiy (Makarov), rector of the Iversky Valdai Monastery, who became her spiritual father and leader. It was with his blessing that Maria Solopova chose the Tikhvin Vvedensky nunnery to begin her monastic path. In February 1863, Victoria Dmitrievna Solopova, after a vision that visited her, finally gave her blessing to her daughter’s monastic path. On February 19, shortly before the start of Lent, Maria Solopova arrived in Tikhvin, and on Easter of the same year she became a novice of the Tikhvin Vvedensky Monastery. In the first year of her monastic life, Maria underwent the monastic “test”, performing general obediences: washing dishes, working in the garden and field work, reading in church, singing in the choir. Then she taught free city children at the monastery school. Fulfilling the commandment of his spiritual father, Archimandrite. Lawrence, Maria remained hopelessly in the monastery for three years, never going anywhere “not only somewhere further away, but also beyond the gates into the street.” In the Tikhvin Vvedensky Monastery on May 13, 1870, Maria was tonsured into the ryassophore with the name Arkady. In 1872, with the blessing of Archimandrite. Lavrentia nun Arkadia moved to the Novgorod Zverin-Pokrovsky Monastery, where she was regent, charter member of the right choir and clerk. During these years, she compiled a famous hymnographic work - an akathist to St. Simeon the God-Receiver. On July 2, 1876, the spiritual father of the future Abbess Taisia, Archimandrite, died. Lavrenty. In search of a new spiritual mentor, the nun turned to an elder known for his holy life, abbot of the Valaam Monastery, Abbot Damaskin (Kononovich): “I was vouchsafed to have spiritual conversations with him more than once, and even to confess to him” 215. Perhaps in those same years she met Father Ioann Sergiev. Publishing conversations with him in 1909, Abbess Taisiya indicated that she was “for more than 35 years in the closest spiritual relationship with the unforgettable, reposed in God, Fr. prot. John Sergiev (Kronstadt)" 216. Holy Righteous John of Kronstadt In 1878, nun Arkadia was transferred to the Znamensky Derzhavin Monastery on Volkhov, 70 versts from Novgorod, to the position of treasurer. At the Zvansky monastery she was also an assistant to the head of the Derzhavinsky school. In this monastery on May 10, 1879, in pursuance of the resolution of Metropolitan Isidore (Nikolsky) of St. Petersburg and Novgorod, she was tonsured into a mantle with the name Taisiya. The tonsure was performed by the treasurer of the Iono-Oten Monastery, Hieromonk Arseny. In the Zvan Monastery, the former estate of G.R. Derzhavin, nun Taisiya wrote several prayerful and contemplative poems, which she later included in the collection “Spiritual Poems” (1892). In February 1881, Metropolitan Isidore summoned nun Taisia ​​to St. Petersburg to be appointed head of the Leushinsky women's community. The appointment, which was unexpected for nun Taisiya, was due to the fact that at the beginning of 1881, Elder Leontia, the third Leushinsk leader since the founding of the community in 1875, submitted a request for retirement. The community was in a difficult financial situation and was torn apart by internal turmoil. The time of nun Taisia’s arrival in the community “was perhaps the most difficult, both for the community itself and for the new leader” 217. On March 19, 1881, a resolution was issued by His Eminence Metropolitan Isidore confirming nun Taisia ​​as the head of the Leushinskaya John the Baptist community, from that time “a new and decisive period of its rebirth for the better began for the Leushinskaya community” 218. Nun Taisiya began her activities by building a fence around community buildings, finding a place for a courtyard in the city of Cherepovets and establishing a parochial school. Then a hotel for visitors, houses for the clergy, cell and handicraft buildings were built in the monastery. On October 1, 1881, a school for children in the village of Leushino was opened. In 1883, a chapel in honor of the icon of the Mother of God “It is Worthy to Eat” was consecrated at the Leushinsky metochion in Cherepovets. The icon for the chapel was sent from the Panteleimon Monastery on Mount Athos at the personal request of nun Taisia. In 1884, the foundation of the Leushinsky church-teachers' school was laid, long before the decision of the School Council under the Holy Synod to establish a similar type of women's schools. Also in 1884, the bishop visited the monastery for the first time. His Grace Anastasy (Dobradin) carried out an audit and found it possible to rename the Leushinsky community into a cenobitic monastery. The decision of the Holy Synod to rename the Leushin community into a monastery followed on September 3, 1885. On October 1, 1885, nun Taisiya was elevated to the rank of abbess, and on November 8 of the same year, the first monastic tonsure of the sisters of the Leushinsky St. John the Baptist Monastery took place. In the fall of 1886, Abbess Taisiya visited Kyiv, where she wanted to “pour out her fervent prayers for the blessing of the Most Pure One to build a church in Her honor” in the Leushinsky Monastery 219. After this trip and the “much-significant vision” of the Queen of Heaven Herself, Abbess Taisiya decided to begin construction of a church in the monastery, despite the almost complete lack of necessary funds. Collecting money for the construction, she “visited all the cities closest to the monastery: Ustyuzhna, Vesyegonsk, Poshekhonye, ​​Mologa, Rybinsk, Yaroslavl, visiting all the benefactors who could help her cause” 220, and visited the capital several times. On September 8, 1890, the crosses were raised on the domes of the new church, and a year later it was consecrated. Abbess Taisia's work on beautifying and strengthening the Leushinsky St. John the Baptist Monastery did not stop until the end of her life. She built three courtyards of the Leushinsky Monastery (in St. Petersburg, Rybinsk and Cherepovets), several monastery hermitages, a pier on the Sheksna River, a bell tower, and a winter cathedral in the name of the Life-Giving Trinity. In 1903, Leushinsky Monastery, at the request of the abbot. Taisiya, was elevated to the level of a “first-class monastery”. By the beginning of 1907, the monastery had: five churches, two churches in monasteries, two churches in two farmsteads, three chapels, 16 residential and 22 outbuildings. The character of the internal life of the monastery was distinguished by peacefulness, diligence and love for work and prayer” 221. Thanks to the cares and labors of Abbess Taisia, “the inconspicuous and poor Leushinsky community turned into a first-class monastery, known for its exemplary monastic discipline and exemplary management,” which became “a hotbed of spiritual enlightenment for the northern districts of the Novgorod diocese” 222. In an effort to spiritualize the life of the institutions she established, Abbess Taisiya invited guests to the monastery who were known for the height of their spiritual life. So, in 1891, she literally begged Fr. to come to Leushino. John of Kronstadt: “That is why, Father, I ask you, because I had the good fortune to talk with you and see you. Having received this happiness for myself, I cannot help but wish that my sisters would also receive the same” 223. From that time on, Father John visited the monastery every year to “with great joy” see Elder Taisia ​​and the sisters, “to be comforted by mutual conversation, common faith and worship” 224. He also willingly and often visited the courtyard of the Leushinsky Monastery in St. Petersburg. Since 1890, regular correspondence between Abbess Taisia ​​and Father John Sergiev began, ending only with the death of the Kronstadt Father (Sergiev I.I. Letters from Father Archpriest John to the abbess of the St. John the Baptist Leushinsky first-class monastery, Abbess Taisia). Prot. Alexander Dernov noted that the reason for the closeness that Father John of Kronstadt honored Abbess Taisia was the “special, spiritual maturity” of Mother Leushinskaya: “What high and about what high subjects the conversations took place between these two highly spiritually minded and highly spiritually mature individuals can be partly seen from the correspondence that was published by the deceased after the death of Father John...” 225 Abbess Taisiya was an assistant and adviser to Father John during the establishment of the Sursky (in the Arkhangelsk diocese) and Vorontsovsky (in the Pskov diocese) monasteries. Through her labors, the ancient Ferapontov Monastery was restored, and new convents of the Parfenevsky and Chernoezersk Hermitages were established. The total number of monasteries in the establishment of which the Leushinskaya abbess took part reaches ten, which allows us to call her “the founder of a special school of Russian female monasticism.” Abbess Taisiya combined her rare gift for management and construction with poetic talent. At the end of the 19th and beginning of the 20th centuries. Her poems were published in the magazines “Soulful Interlocutor”, “Russian Pilgrim”, “Kronstadt Shepherd”, etc., and were published in separate editions (The village of Korotskoye, the birthplace of St. Tikhon (St. Petersburg, 1892); Before the miraculous icon of Our Lady of Kazan in the Kazan Cathedral (St. Petersburg, 1893); To the first anniversary death of Father Archpriest John of Kronstadt (St. Petersburg, 1909), etc.). In 1889, Abbess Taisiya was awarded a pectoral cross issued by the Holy Synod. In 1892, she received a cross with gold decorations, issued by the Cabinet of His Imperial Majesty. Subsequently, she was awarded the blessing of the Holy Synod three more times, and was also awarded certificates and thanks from the diocesan authorities. In the last years of her life, Abbess Taisiya introduced herself to the Tsar and Empress seven times. In 1910, she received a portrait of Her Imperial Majesty the Empress Alexandra Feodorovna, and in 1911 a portrait of His Imperial Majesty the Emperor Nikolai Alexandrovich with handwritten signatures. In 1913, on the occasion of the Nativity of Christ, she received another highest gift - an amethyst rosary in a gold frame. On April 27, 1907, Abbess Taisiya made a spiritual will - “my last testament, which should be read at my tomb on the day of my burial, as if from me personally” 226. In it, she asked the sisters: “Live together, like children with their mother, in simplicity of heart, as you lived with me, and the Angel of peace will always be with you.” The will was read and approved by her spiritual father, Archpriest John Sergiev. After the abbess's will was drawn up, Taisiya lived for another eight years. On January 2, 1912, exactly three years before her death, in a serious illness, in a dream or in oblivion, she saw Father John in the church of his beloved Leushin “Pustynka”. In a vision, Father John told her: “Well, I’ll go and take care of you, otherwise where will I take you. In the meantime, get ready, so that the next time I come for you, you’ll be ready!” 227 Abbess Taisiya died on January 2, 1915 at the age of 73. A crypt for the deceased during her lifetime, with the permission of His Eminence Isidore, was built in the large cathedral of the Leushinsky monastery, behind the right choir, on the south side of the church. In 1931, the Leushinsky Monastery was closed, and in 1941–1946. – flooded by the waters of the Rybinsk Reservoir. Wed: (John 7:12). The number indicates footnotes located at the bottom of the page, and the Roman numeral indicates notes at the end of each part. Wed: (Luke 8:1); (Luke 9:6); (Matthew 9:35). Wed: (Matthew 13:13); (Isa. 6:9). Wed: (Luke 8:16); (Matthew 5:15–16). Biographical information about the birth and life of Father John was repeatedly published both in spiritual magazines (“Pilgrim”) and in separate brochures... – The autobiography of Father John was first published in the magazine “North” in 1888. In the early 1890s. essays by N.N. were published in separate brochures. Zhivotov “Father John Ilyich Sergiev (Kronstadt), Archpriest of St. Andrew’s Cathedral. Biographical sketch" (St. Petersburg, 1890), "The Sick of Father John of Kronstadt" (St. Petersburg, 1891), "Confessors of John of Kronstadt" (St. Petersburg, 1891), "The Beggars of Fr. John of Kronstadt" (St. Petersburg, 1891), "Biography of Father I.I. Sergiev" (Moscow, 1892), etc. The first complete biography of Father John was compiled by the Kronstadt missionary, later the rector of the church of the Pukhtitsa Metochion in Revel, Alexander Zybin (Zybin A. Ioann Ilyich Sergiev, archpriest, keymaster of the Kronstadt St. Andrew's Cathedral: An Essay on Life and Activities. St. Petersburg, 1891). The magazine “Russian Pilgrim” for 1891 published a biographical sketch of F. Mr. "O. John of Kronstadt. His life, words and deeds" (Nos. 4–29). And learning books was not easy for him at first; he later became one of the first students. – In his autobiography about the initial years of his studies in Arkhangelsk theological schools, Father John wrote: “It was difficult for me to read and write; there were no nearby leaders; he had to figure it all out on his own” (Holy Righteous Father John of Kronstadt: Memoirs of Samovids. (Hereinafter – Memoirs.) M.: Father’s House, 2011. P. 9). He finished the first third of his first academic year as the 28th student in the class (Kronstadt Shepherd. Issue 2. M., 2010. P. 41). Feeling his helplessness, young Ivan Sergiev “began to ask God for help and understanding.” In a word spoken in 1899 on the day of memory of St. John of Rylsky, Father John described the fruits of this prayer as follows: “I was illuminated by the light of God; literacy became clear to me, and I began to excel in sciences that were appropriate for my age and educational purpose” (Memoirs, p. 23). Ivan Sergiev graduated from the second class of the parish school in 1841 as the sixth student in the class, and the course of science at the theological seminary in 1851 as the first student (Kronstadt Shepherd. Issue 2. P. 42). Good manners and meekness have always been the hallmarks of his character... - These features of Ivan Sergiev were more than once noted by the inspector of the Arkhangelsk Theological Seminary, Archimandrite. Hilarion in the monthly lists of student behavior: “simple in actions and at the same time noble” (July 1847); “meek, obedient” (December 1847); “with a quiet, calm natural disposition, he is distinguished by honesty and good nature” (June 1848); he is distinguished by “zeal for work, modesty in actions, reverence and a religious direction of mind and heart” (April 1851) (See: The Kronstadt Shepherd. Issue 2. P. 47). ...the books of St. John Chrysostom - “Explanation of the Gospel of Matthew” and “His Conversations to the People of Antioch.” – This refers to the books: John Chrysostom, set. Conversations on the Evangelist Matthew. New translation from Greek: At 3 o'clock. M., 1839; John Chrysostom, set. Conversations to the Antiochian people, translated from Greek at the St. Petersburg Theological Academy: In 3 volumes. St. Petersburg, 1848–1850. Obsequious (church-glorified) – similar to passions, subject to the same passions. ...as Father John himself writes in his diary... – Here and further, Abbess Taisiya quotes texts from Father John’s diary according to the magazine “Russian Pilgrim” for 1891 and 1892. “due to my former inexperience in temptations in prayer.” - Russian pilgrim. 1891. No. 1. P. 2. "almost to unceasing spiritual contemplation and secret prayer." - Right there. “I tried not to let them go unnoticed and wrote them down in my diary.” - Right there. ...when, by the will of his superiors, Father John was appointed teacher of the law, first at the school, and then at the men's gymnasium. – On February 22, 1857, Father John was appointed teacher of the law at the Kronstadt district school, and on September 20, 1862, appointed teacher of the law at the Kronstadt city gymnasium (TsGIA SPb., f. 19, op. 113, d. 2529, l. 1–2, vol.). The position of a teacher of the law in the newly opened gymnasium in Kronstadt was offered to Father John by the director of the Larinsky gymnasium, State Councilor A.V. Latyshev, who was entrusted with preparing the new educational institution for opening. On September 2, 1862, responding to Latyshev’s letter, Father John wrote: “I am very grateful to you for your kind attention to me, with which you deigned to honor me by offering me a position as a teacher of the law in the gymnasium that is about to open in Kronstadt. I accept your offer willingly and with sincere gratitude” (GMIR, f. 38, on. 1, d. 22, l. 6–7). He was the first to suggest the idea of ​​building a House of Diligence in Kronstadt... - The idea of ​​building a House of Diligence in Kronstadt was first expressed by Father John in print in the early 1870s, but only at the end of 1880 did it receive the support of numerous supporters. Initially, due to a lack of funds, it was planned to build a small wooden house. After the death of Emperor Alexander II (March 1, 1881), the idea arose to dedicate the House of Diligence to his memory. This decision made it possible to attract large donors and philanthropists and significantly expand the scale of the planned enterprise. He was the first to insist on the necessity and benefit (for which he had to work for a very long time) to open a guardianship for the poor at the cathedral. – The question of establishing parish guardianship at the Kronstadt St. Andrew’s Cathedral was first raised in 1870. On July 10, Bishop. Ladozhsky Pavel (Lebedev) in a resolution on the act of review of the cathedral wrote: “If, according to a certificate to the Consistory, it turns out that there is no guardianship at the Council, then the Consistory should order the Dean to attend to the opening of it” (TsGIA St. Petersburg, f. 19, op. 62, d. 21, l. 3). On December 29, 1871, Father John, through the newspaper “Kronstadt Bulletin,” addressed the residents of the city with a proposal: “The entire Kronstadt society, spiritual, military, bureaucratic, commercial, philistine, should form a guardianship, or brotherhood, or several guardianships and brotherhoods under different churches, following the example of existing guardians and brotherhoods in some cities, including Petersburg, and with united forces take care of finding common housing, a workers' house and a vocational school for the poor" (Kronstadt Bulletin. 1871. No. 150, December 29). On December 30, 1873, the decision to establish a parish guardianship in Kronstadt was made at a meeting of parishioners of St. Andrew's Cathedral. The decree of the Spiritual Consistory on this issue followed on June 4, 1874. On the day the guardianship was opened, June 9, 1874, Father John said: “Finally, we are authorized by the church and civil authorities to open guardianship in our church both for the church itself and mainly for the poor. May this beneficent institution be blessed by the Lord! In many localities, guardianship of churches came into effect; In our country, its establishment has only slowed down until now: now, after all the formalities have been completed, its opening is taking place” (Kronstadt Bulletin. 1874. No. 69, June 14). ...and when this house, not yet finished, burned down... - The fire, during which the wooden building of St. Andrew’s Trusteeship and the newly built building of the House of Diligence burned down, occurred in Kronstadt on December 7, 1881. On December 11, St. Andrew’s Trusteeship appealed through the newspaper “Kronstadt Bulletin” to the residents of the city with a request to help the fire victims, and on December 13 an emergency meeting of members was held trusteeship, specifically devoted to the issue of benefits for fire victims (Kronstadt Bulletin. 1881. No. 144, December 11; No. 145, December 13). After the fire of 1881, the Kronstadt House of Diligence was rebuilt and consecrated on October 10, 1882. “Divine service,” he writes in his diary, “is for me an invaluable and greatest benefit in life; in worship - the whole life of our soul, all its treasure; here is her homeland, her upbringing, healing, her food and drink, her strength and glory, her shrine and life.” – Father John’s full diary entry reads like this: “The Divine service, in all our struggles with sins and nasty evil forces, amazingly renews, strengthens, cleanses, encourages; and she is for me the greatest blessing in life. I thank the Lord for this. An invaluable blessing was given to me from the Lord in worship. “In it is the whole life of our soul, all the treasure, here is her homeland, her life, her shrine, her upbringing, healing, food and drink, her strength, her glory” (Russian Pilgrim. 1892. No. 33. P. 516. Entry included in the book: Thoughts on the Church and Orthodox worship // Archpriest John Ilyich Sergiev. Poly. collected works: In 7 vol. M„ 1994 (rep. 1905). T. 6. P. 190). Troparion 1, canto 9, canon for Holy Communion. His prayer about this is beautifully expressed in his diary: “O most holy, all-powerful, all-good, Head of Your Church, Lord Jesus Christ, Alpha and Omega, Beginning and End! I am weak, but may Your strength be made perfect in my weaknesses!” – This diary entry was included in the book “Thoughts on the Church and Orthodox Worship” in the following form: “Most Holy, Almighty, All-Good Head of Your Church, Lord Jesus, Alpha and Omega, Beginning and End, give me grace always from beginning to end to safely, holy, peacefully, firmly, ardently perform every divine service, under all circumstances, with large and small people, on holidays and everyday life, in the church and outside the church! Give me, give me this grace and cleanse my heart from all passion, defilement of the flesh and spirit, deliver me from all slander of the enemy; during my service, ignite with heavenly fire the hearts of all those present and praying; humble the hearts of the rich and famous, the learned or the wise of this age, enchanting their wisdom and subduing their minds and hearts to Your word; soften the hearts of those hardened in passions, recreate, renew your people! Amen. I am weak, but may Your power be made perfect in my weaknesses (cf. 2 Cor. 12:9). I am sinful and sinful; but where sin has multiplied, grace abounds (Rom. 5:20): so let it be in me" (Thoughts on the Church and Orthodox worship // Archpriest John Ilyich Sergiev. Poly. collected works: In 7 volumes. M., 1994 (rep. 1905). T. 6. pp. 221–222. For the first time: Russian pilgrim. 1892. No. 34. P. 531). “Poor people! - he exclaims in his notes "; “Oh, how many blessings God gives us every day in the Divine Liturgy! “- In the magazine “Russian Pilgrim”, the diary entry of Father John, transmitted by Abbess Taisia, is published in the following form: “Oh, how many blessings are given to us from God through the Liturgy! - How do Christians feel about her? With ordinary coldness, inattention, indifference; They receive Holy Communion very rarely, as if out of necessity and out of established habit, once a year. What are they depriving themselves of, what a priceless Divine Treasure, what an immortal, life-giving gift of God! What help from God! This is why there is no true life in Orthodox Christians, life according to the spirit of Christ. That is why vices and disasters have multiplied. That is why all creation has armed itself against us in revenge against the enemies of God, all the elements: water, fire, air, and death in all forms” (Russian Pilgrim. 1892. No. 43. pp. 675–676). “I stand,” he says, “at the Source of life daily, hourly, unceasingly: that is, I stand with my Lord, both in the church at His throne, and at home, and on the way, and on the street, and everywhere I stand before Him in mind and spirit!” – The magazine “Russian Pilgrim” contains the following diary entry of Father John: “I stand at the Source of life daily and hourly, i.e. with the Lord, both in the church at His throne, and at home, or on the street, in the square” (Russian Pilgrim. 1892. No. 27. P. 420). He repeats these same words at the beginning of his book “Diary”... - The author’s preface to excerpts from the diary, published in the magazine “Russian Pilgrim”, began with the following words: “My strength is made perfect in weakness,” says the Lord, “and where sin abounds, there grace abounds,” says the great apostle. This power and this grace of the Lord abounded in me, weak and sinful, all the days of my life, from early youth to the present day...” (Russian Pilgrim. 1891. No. 1. P. 2). “Oh holy faith! - Father John writes in his “Diary” Be known, O Lord, that they may glorify You with one mouth and one heart from the east of the sun to the west. Wake up, wake up!” – The full recording included in the 2nd part of “My Life in Christ” reads like this: “Oh holy faith! With what words, with what songs will I glorify you for the countless benefits for my soul and body that you have given me, for all the powers that you have accomplished and are performing in me, for the blessings of peace and the removal of confusion, for the blessings of freedom with the removal of bitter oppression, for the blessings of spiritual light and the driving away of the darkness of passions, for the blessings of boldness with the withdrawal of cowardice and fear, for the blessings of spiritual power and spiritual greatness with the removal of sinful slavery and baseness of spirit, for the good of the holy with the removal of sinful impurity, for the removal of malice, envy, self-will and stubbornness, covetousness, fornication and all spiritual corruption? Glory to Thee, God, my Benefactor, forever and ever! Be known, O Lord, in Your faith, to all Your people and to all the tribes of the earth, so that everyone may glorify You with one mouth and one heart from the east of the sun to the west. Wake up, wake up!” (Prot. John Ilyich Sergiev. Complete collected works: In 6 volumes. St. Petersburg, 1994 (rep. 1894). Vol. 4–5. P. 69). Compare: Irmos of the 4th song of the penitential canon to the Lord, tone 6. (Luke 4:43); (2 Tim. 4:2). “so that he could more conveniently guide them in the work of salvation, and not just to accept refreshments from them.” – Abbess Taisia probably retells the following diary entry of Father John: “Every priest is an apostle in his village or parish (or in a city church) and must go from house to house, preaching the Kingdom of God, instructing the ignorant, the careless, the careless, living in passions and lusts, rousing them to Christian life, encouraging the pious and sober and encouraging them with future rewards, supporting and comforting the non-peace-loving. Processions of the cross on holidays should especially have this purpose. We usually drink and eat while walking with the cross. This is not the point. We must preach the gospel, holding a cross in our hands, that “for this reason the high God came down to earth, so that he may lead us to heaven,” and that we should not become attached to anything earthly, that we must value time in order to acquire eternity: cleanse our hearts from all filthiness of passions and do as many good deeds as possible. My purpose is, that I may do the will of the Sender and complete His work (John 4:34)” (Russian Pilgrim. 1892. No. 6. P. 84). ...living at the courtyard church. – The courtyard of the Leushinsky Monastery in Cherepovets was built through the efforts of Abbess Taisia. In 1883, on a plot of land purchased from a Cherepovets tradesman for 600 rubles, a chapel was consecrated in honor of the icon of the Mother of God “It is Worthy to Eat.” In 1898, a church in honor of the Presentation of the Lord was built on the site of the chapel. (Historical description of the first-class St. John the Baptist Leushinsky convent of the Cherepovets district, Novgorod province. (Hereinafter - Historical description.) St. Petersburg, 1907. 3rd edition, pp. 38–40). ...to the pier of the Leushinsky monastery “Borki”... – The steamship pier was built by Abbess Taisia ​​in 1890, ten miles from the Leushinsky monastery, on the bank of the river. Sheksny in the village of Borki. The need to build a special monastery pier was caused by the fact that the sisters and pilgrims had to get to the shore in a small boat and wait for the steamer in the open air. “In order to prevent such enormous inconveniences, as a result of which many of those who wanted to visit the monastery could not do this, abbot. Taisiya entered into an agreement with the owners of the shipping company on the Sheksna River, Messrs. Milyutin and Co., on the construction of a steamship pier, which she took on with the funds and concerns of the monastery, and from them she secured a promise “to be sure to dock the steamship at the pier during each voyage and stand here to listen to the prayer singing for those sailing and traveling, which is performed by a priest hired from the monastery and monastery singers.” Two houses were built next to the pier: for the monastery sisters and for the rest of the pilgrims” (Historical description, pp. 105–106). ...in the cathedral church... - The cathedral stone three-altar church of the Leushinsky monastery was consecrated on September 8, 1891. “Until now, the monastery did not have a separate church, being content with a small house church that could not accommodate even a quarter of the pilgrims who visited it” (Historical description. P. 72). This refers to the position of the honorable robe of the Most Holy Theotokos in Blachernae (5th century). Cp.: (Matthew 8:27); (Mark 1:27). ...in the hall of the school building... – The stone school building in which the Leushinsky church and teachers' school was located was built in 1889–1890. It was on the same line with the abbess’s building and was connected to it by a stone corridor “for more convenient and more frequent observation of the abbess herself in the school” (Historical description, p. 54). Priest Priorov Evlampy Nikolaevich (1853 – ?) served as rector of the Resurrection Cathedral in the city of Cherepovets from 1888 to 1915. Wed: (3Ezra 16:10, 18). ...in the house church... – The house church in honor of the Image of the Savior Not Made by Hands was located adjacent to the abbot’s cells in one of the monastery buildings built by Abbess Leontia, and was consecrated on September 15, 1880. It was the “first own church of the community,” worship in which was performed daily until Abbess Taisia ​​built the cathedral church (Historical description, pp. 29–30). ...visited the monastery almshouse, which was opened only two years ago. – The monastery almshouse was located in a building adjacent to the bell tower, the construction of which began after “in the nineties, the St. Petersburg merchant D. Korsakov, having visited the Leushinsky monastery in the summer, had the desire to donate a bell weighing at least 200 pounds.” “On the right side of the bell tower on the front side there was a large building, 27 fathoms long, in the lower floor of which there was a sister’s refectory 11 fathoms long, connected by a small corridor to a cookhouse 6 fathoms long, and behind it two cells for housing cooks, refectories and other sisters. On the top floor above the refectory there is an almshouse for elderly sisters and cells for those who look after the almshouse and the sisters who work in it. On the left side there is an almshouse church at the top, and below it there is a sacristy, a book and icon shop and a cell for the gatekeeper (at the Holy Gate)” (Historical description. P. 114). ...we went to the monastery through the monastery (Uspensky)... - This refers to the monastery of the Leushinsky monastery with the church in honor of the Dormition of the Mother of God, located one and a half miles from the monastery in a pine grove. The skete house church was consecrated on October 1, 1891. “In addition to the church building, the skete also has other cells built as separate houses, and a little further away there is a house for the priest” (Historical description, p. 94). The monastery was founded at the new monastery cemetery. Having had the good fortune to be for more than thirty-five years in the closest spiritual relationship with the unforgettable, deceased father, Archpriest John Sergiev (Kronstadt)... - The acquaintance of the future Abbess Taisiya with Father John Sergiev occurred in the first half of the 1870s, during that period of time (1872–1878), when, after being tonsured into the ryassophore with the name Arkady she bore the obedience of the regent in the Novgorod Intercession Animal Monastery. Perhaps this acquaintance was due to nun Arkadia’s search for a new spiritual leader: on December 28, 1873, her spiritual father, the rector of the Iveron Mother of God Monastery, Archimandrite, was retired due to poor health. Lavrentiy (Makarov), who died on July 2, 1876. ...Father John began to travel to his homeland, to the village of Sura, to build a parish stone church there. - More precisely, o. John of Kronstadt began to visit his homeland annually starting in 1888, when the ceremonial laying of a new stone three-altar church in the name of St. Nicholas the Wonderworker was carried out in Sura. Two wooden churches that previously existed in Sura: the winter one in the name of St. Nicholas XVII century and summer in honor of the Entry into the Church of the Blessed Virgin Mary of the 16th century. - completely dilapidated. The new brick church was built with donations from admirers of Fr. John, and in June 1891 its solemn consecration took place (see: Chronicle of Father John’s visits to the village of Sura in 1888–1907 // Kronstadt Shepherd. Issue 1. M., 2002. pp. 40–45). During Soviet times, the church was destroyed, but is now being restored through the efforts of the sisters of the reviving Sursky St. John the Theological Monastery. ...according to the Mariinskaya system... - This refers to the Mariinskaya water system, the most important of the waterways of Russia, connecting the river. Volga with the St. Petersburg port. The Mariinsky system included the rivers. Sheksna, Beloozero, r. Kovzha, artificial connections, river. Vytegra, lake Onega, r. Svir, lake Ladozhskoe and r. Neva. The idea of ​​connecting the Kovzhi and Vytegra rivers belonged to Peter I. The idea was mainly implemented under Paul I; construction was completed in 1808 under Alexander I (see: Brockhaus FL., Efron IA. Encyclopedic Dictionary. T. XVIII A. St. Petersburg, 1896. P. 621–622). ...rented by Mrs. L., who invited Father to Rybinsk. – Father John visited Rybinsk at the invitation of the local merchant Lipovskaya. ...at the cathedral elder, merchant Krokhin. – Merchant G.P. Krokhin was the headman of the Cherepovets Resurrection Cathedral. The chant of the Divine Liturgy after the exclamation of the priest “Holy to Holies.” In general, a person going through spiritual life and zealous for salvation must relentlessly pay attention to himself, that is, notice all the movements of his heart and mind. – From the very beginning of his priestly ministry, Father John considered monitoring his inner life one of the main spiritual tasks. In his autobiography of 1888, he wrote: “From the very first days of my high service to the Church, I set myself a rule: to be as sincere as possible about my work, to shepherding and priestly service, and to strictly monitor myself, my inner life. To this end, I first of all began to read the Holy Scriptures, the Old and New Testaments, extracting from them edification for myself as a person, a priest and a member of society. Then I began to keep a diary in which I wrote down my struggle with thoughts and passions, my repentant feelings, my secret prayers to the Lord and my constant weakness and protection from Him, and my noble feelings towards the Lord for deliverance from temptations, sorrows and misfortunes” (Autobiography // Memoirs. P. 9). Since accepting the rank of superior, I pray little... - Nun Taisiya (Solopova) was appointed head of the Leushinsky monastery at the beginning of 1881. Before that, she served obedience in various monasteries: she sang in the choir, was a regent and teacher of monastery pupils, a clerk, and a treasurer. I prepared myself for this from the very beginning of my priesthood. – In a conversation with Sarapul shepherds, Father John said that the desire to save human souls kindled in him when he became acquainted with the life of Kronstadt: “This city is military: here at every step you meet military men, sailors, craftsmen from the harbor, etc. Sailors, who spend most of their time at sea, on their ships, once ashore, try to make the most of their free time and get as much pleasure as possible. Therefore, here you could always meet drunks on the streets and hear about many outrages. From the very first days of my ministry, my heart began to ache at the sight of such a bad, sinful life, and naturally there was a firm intention to somehow correct this drunken, but good-at-heart people” (Conversation with Sarapul shepherds // Memoirs. P. 12). After all, you, Father, have been a priest for a long time, but you appeared openly to people not so long ago? – The name of Father John became known throughout Russia in the mid-1880s. On December 20, 1883, the newspaper “New Time” (No. 2807) published a “Statement of Gratitude” from people who received healing through the prayers of Father John. After this publication, people from all over Russia and from abroad began to turn to Father John with a request for prayer help. ...and all my visions that you know about? – Abbots’ own spiritual visions. Taisiya described it in her autobiographical work “Notes of Abbess Taisiya, Abbess of the First-Class Leushinsky Convent” (Pg., 1916). One of these visions, which young Maria Solopova had during her studies at the Pavlovsk Institute, marked a “decisive and final revolution” (p. 9) in her entire life and indicated her future vocation. In a wonderful dream, she “saw herself in some other world,” face to face with a whole host of saints. Mary “saw next to her on the right side the face of our Savior Jesus Christ” (p. 11), who blessed her by touching her head with his right hand. Significant visions of abbots. Taisiya saw at all the turning points of her life. Look what a cathedral you erected without any means and in what a short time... - This refers to the stone five-domed three-altar cathedral in honor of the Praise of the Blessed Virgin Mary in the Leushinsky St. John the Baptist Monastery. In 1885, the Leushinsky women's community was renamed the Leushinsky St. John the Baptist Convent, and the head of the monastery, nun Taisiya, was ordained to the rank of abbess. On October 19 of the same year, abbot. Taisia ​​was “allowed to build a new stone cathedral church in the monastery entrusted to her, at the expense of benefactors and the remaining unpaid amount” (Novgorod EV. 1885. No. 20, October 30. P. 280). However, when in the spring of 1887 Abbot. Taisiya turned to Metropolitan. Petersburg and Novgorod Isidore with a request for permission to build a church in the Leushinsky monastery, providing him with an estimate and the amount of available material, the Metropolitan found it difficult to give her his blessing, citing the complete lack of funds for the monastery to build. Igum. Taisiya asked: “Just bless us; and we are ready to work as much as our strength allows; We believe that for your Archpastoral blessing and holy prayers, the Lord will help us, for the glory of His name!” (Brief information about the construction of the stone three-altar Cathedral Church in St. John the Baptist Leushinsky Monastery. St. Petersburg, 1891. P. 4). On June 14, 1887, the Reverend Anastasius, vicar of Novgorod, with a crowd of eight thousand people, laid the foundation stone for a church in honor of the Praise of the Mother of God with chapels in the name of St. Archangel Michael and St. Nicholas. Construction was carried out with donations collected from various cities of Russia by the sisters of the monastery and its abbess. Igum. Taisiya, in addition to St. Petersburg, which she visited more than once, “visited all the cities closest to the monastery: Ustyuzhna, Vesyegonsk, Poshekhonye, ​​Mologa, Rybinsk, Yaroslavl, visiting all the benefactors who could help her cause” (Ibid. P. 9). Of the seventy thousand spent on the construction of the church, only fourteen thousand were collected in large donations (from 100 to 3000 rubles), the rest of the amount was collected in small alms. On September 8, 1890, the crosses were raised onto the dome of the church, and on September 8, 1891, the solemn consecration of the church took place. This church became the largest church in Russia with such a dedication. (Rom. 8:35); (Deut. 8:3). My worries about acquiring a place in St. Petersburg to build a farmstead... - Raising funds and searching for a place to build the Leushinsky farmstead in St. Petersburg abbot. Taisiya began with the blessing of Father John in December 1891. The place on the corner of Basseynoy and Znamenskaya streets was acquired in December 1891, permission to build a courtyard with a church was received on May 16, 1892. The consecration of the main altar of the courtyard church in the name of the Apostle and Evangelist John the Theologian took place on November 21, 1894 (Historical description. P. 108–113). In the book by I.K. Sursky’s “Father John of Kronstadt” contains a story about the gracious help of Father John in the construction of the St. Petersburg metochion of the Leushinsky monastery: “When she decided to build a metochion of the Leushinsky monastery in St. Petersburg, she turned to Father John for a blessing, hoping to receive material help from him. Father John blessed this endeavor and gave Abbess Taisia ​​two kopecks. Although the pious old woman was embarrassed, she reverently wrapped the two ten-kopeck pieces in a scarf, believing that the Lord would help her undertaking, which Father John blessed. So what? A suitable place was found for a courtyard on Basseynaya Street in St. Petersburg; there were kind people who helped her acquire a place for a farmstead; There were contractors who undertook to carry out free of charge some stone work, some plastering work, some painting, roofing, carpentry and other work. And soon a three-story building rose on Basseynaya Street, headed by a church with a marvelous carved iconostasis made of pear wood” (Sursky IH. Father John of Kronstadt. M., 2008. P. 80). He usually wrote to me from his homeland, the village of Sura, or from Arkhangelsk about where he planned to go, how long he would stay and when approximately to be with us, and whether on his own ship or on a rented one... - So, for example, in the letter to the abbot. Taisiya dated June 15, 1903 from Arkhangelsk, Father John wrote: “I stayed in Sura for only three days; the water dropped extremely; This year I had to ride 300 miles on horseback. I will stay in Arkhangelsk for two days; On the 17th I leave Arkhangelsk for Kholmogory to visit my dear sister (who is married to a priest) and to the Kholmogory convent. There - two days. From there on June 20 I will go to Ustyug, there for one day, I will be there no earlier than the 24th, from there to Vologda on the 27th; 28th - to Kubenskoye Lake and to the locks; On the 29th we will probably get to Sheksna. June 30 and July 1 – Sheksnoy to your pier. At this time we will talk to you. Help us, God, in everything. I bow to you from the bottom of my heart and to all the sisters and brothers” (Letters from Father Archpriest John to the abbess of the St. John the Baptist Leushinsky first-class monastery, Abbess Taisia. St. Petersburg, 1909, pp. 62–63). Wed: Troparion of the Trinity, 7th hymn, Great Penitential Canon of St. Andrey Kritsky. ...troparion to the holy great martyr Theodore Tiron: “Like sweet bread was brought to the Trinity”... – The troparion in its entirety. To Theodore Tyrone it sounds like this: “The great faith of correction in the source of the flame, as on the water of repose the holy martyr Theodore rejoiced, for he was burnt with fire, as sweet bread was brought to the Trinity. Through his prayers, O Christ God, save our souls.” ...so I keep trying to distance myself from my family: I rarely, very rarely write to them; It’s been 14 years since I’ve been with them... - After the death of my parents, the abbots. Taisiya is survived by a younger brother and sister. Brother Konstantin Vasilyevich Solopov graduated from the cadet corps in St. Petersburg, was married and had two children, Apollinaris and Anatoly. Konstantin became the owner of the family estate of the Solopovs Abakumovo in the Borovichi district of the Novgorod province. Sister Klavdia Vasilievna Solopova graduated from the Pavlovsk Institute of Noble Maidens, got married and had a daughter, Nadezhda. Igum. Taisiya facilitated the marriage of her niece Nadezhda Milovskaya with a graduate of the Novgorod Theological Seminary, a psalm-reader at the St. John the Theological Church. Nagov, Starorussky district, Novgorod province, Fedor Okunev. Soon after his marriage, Fyodor Okunev was ordained deacon to the church of the Leushinsky monastery in St. Petersburg; in the 1910s became a priest of the same church. Arrested on December 9, 1937 in St. Petersburg in the rank of rector of the Simeon Church; shot on January 15, 1938 With these words, he took out a rather large book from his pocket, “... I forgive the deceased name.” – It is unknown which book Father John read. A similar story is told, for example, in the Kiev-Pechersk Patericon, published from ancient manuscripts and translated into modern Russian by Maria Viktorova (Kiev, 1893). The message of Simon, Bishop of Vladimir and Suzdal, to Polycarp, Monk of Pechersk, tells of the death of his spiritual son, blessed Onesiphorus, who, pretending to be an ascetic and faster, “ate and drank in secret, and spent the years of his life poorly.” “One day, completely healthy, he died for no reason, and there was such a stench from his body that no one could get close to him.” When Presbyter Onesiphorus and Abbot Pimen “decided to forcibly bring someone (no one could voluntarily approach the mountain where the cave was) so that, having pulled out this body over there, throw it into the water,” St. Anthony said: “I had mercy on the soul of this brother, because I cannot break my vow: I promised you that everyone who is laid here will have mercy, even if he has sinned. no one from this monastery will be condemned to torment. The Lord spoke to me, and I heard His voice: I am the one who said to Abraham: for the sake of twenty righteous people I will not destroy the city. Moreover, for the sake of you and those who are with you, I will have mercy and save the sinner: if his death befalls him in your monastery, he will be at peace” (Kievo Pechersk Patericon according to ancient manuscripts: translated into modern Russian by Maria Viktorova. Kiev, 1893. pp. 27–29). ...St. Ignatius the God-Bearer both personally asked and wrote in his letter to the Roman Christians when they wanted to free him from the martyrdom that lay ahead of him: “Do not forbid me (that is, do not prevent me from coming to the Lord), I want to be ground (that is, ground) by the teeth of beasts, so that I may be a sacrifice acceptable to my Lord!” – St. Ignatius, in 67–107. former bishop of the Antiochian Church, was arrested by order of Emperor Trajan, imprisoned and sent to Rome, where he was given over to the circus to be torn to pieces by beasts. The letter to the Roman Christians was written by him on the way from Antioch to Rome. The reason for writing the message was that St. Ignatius the news that Roman Christians intended to intercede for him and ask for the cancellation of the imperial command. In the fourth part of the message, he wrote: “Leave me to be food for beasts and to reach God through them. I am the wheat of God, and let the teeth of beasts grind me, so that I may become the pure bread of God” (Epistle of St. Ignatius the God-Bearer. Kazan, 1855. pp. 126–127). ...there were teacher courses here... - We are talking about temporary pedagogical courses for teachers of the Cherepovets, Ustyuzhensky, Belozersky and Kirillovsky districts of the Novgorod diocese. The courses were held with the blessing of Archbishop Gury of Novgorod and Staraya Russia at the Leushinsky Convent from June 27 to August 26, 1903. The course program included the Law of God, the Russian language, arithmetic and singing. Igum. Taisiya, the course's trustee, put at the disposal of the students the premises of the women's school at the Leushinsky Monastery (Novgorod Ev. 1903. No. 21. Ch. Neof. P. 1238). ...what happened at that time in our monastery was Mr. MA. Goltison. – Mikhail Aleksandrovich Goltison, a graduate of the Imperial St. Petersburg Conservatory, was invited by the abbot. Taisiya to the Leushinsky Monastery as the director of singing courses for teachers of parochial schools. Before the arrival of Father John, Goltison practiced with the students a choral piece of his own composition based on the words of the abbess, “Like Peter, I am drowning in the sea...” According to eyewitnesses, the performance of the play extremely touched Father (Kotlin. 1903. No. 162, July 18). In a letter to Father John dated November 10, 1903, Goltison wrote: “I had the great happiness of spending several days with you. I will never forget these days. I dare to present to your consideration my two musical pieces of spiritual content. They were written for the school of folk readings, religious and moral conversations, etc.” (TsGIA SPb., f. 2219, on. 1, d. 28, l. 28–29). Anthrax appeared throughout the local area. – About the appearance of the Novgorod province in the Cherepovets district. in the summer of 1903, anthrax was reported in the magazine Novgorod Diocesan Gazette by priest. To the church of the Cherepovets district, Vasily Ryabinin: “This summer, the Cherepovets district suffered heavenly punishment - anthrax on livestock, which constitutes the most valuable wealth of a village resident. The northeastern part of the district, including the villages of the parish entrusted to me, especially suffered from this uninvited and terrible guest. Between them one could see ones in which dozens of horses had fallen. In general, it should be noted that fewer cattle died from anthrax than horses. When anthrax appeared, when there was no talk of medical help, a terrible panic seized the population of my parish. Around the 15th of June, popular panic reached its highest apogee" (Ryabinin Vasily, priest. People's disaster and appeal to the Church of schismatics // Novgorod EV. 1903. No. 16. Neof. P. 934). ...what is the wrong translation: “I spoke in my madness” - translated “I said in my madness” - isn’t that right at all? – In the Russian Synodal translation, verse 2 of Psalm 115 is translated as follows: “I spoke in my rashness.” ...anxious thoughts about the afterlife fate of my mother, who, being a completely religious Christian, at the same time strongly opposed my going to the monastery and did not want to give me her blessing for this. – History of relations between the abbots. The story of Taisiya and her mother is described by herself in her autobiographical notes. Victoria Dmitrievna Solopova (nee Pushkin) did not let her eldest daughter go to the monastery, not wanting to part with her; she gave and took her blessing several times. She made the final decision thanks to the vision of the Mother of God, about which she told her daughter the following: “On the night of February 1, I was very alarmed by a strange vision and a voice blaming me for you, Mashenka, that is, for the fact that I do not want to let you go to the monastery. I barely waited for dawn and immediately ordered the horses to be laid in order to go to the Iveron Monastery to see Father Lawrence, thinking to talk to him from the bottom of my heart and pray to the Queen of Heaven. It was there, with the blessing of the Lady, that I promised not to detain you any longer.” (Abbess Taisiya. Autobiographical notes. Conversations with Father John of Kronstadt. M.: Father's House, 2007. P. 80.) From the Borki pier we took a boat to Rybinsk and down the Volga to the distant Kama, where Father was invited. – In 1908, Father John traveled along the Volga and Kama on the steamship “Talent,” which belonged to the Elabuga merchants Stakheevs. On July 1, Father John celebrated the Liturgy at the Stakheev estate “Holy Key” (Kotlin. 1908. No. 149, July 3). Probably a typo: published. I remember all such answers and instructions, and they are written down for my memory, and I don’t dare announce them to everyone, especially in print. – Auth. ...to the then-former Archbishop of Novgorod Theognost... - Vladyka Theognost (Lebedev; 1829–1903) - Archbishop of Novgorod and Staraya Rus' from November 1892; from August 1900, Metropolitan of Kyiv and Galicia. Published according to publications: Taisiya, Abbess of the Leushinsky Monastery. Father Archpriest John Ilyich Sergiev as a shepherd. St. Petersburg, 1893; Taisiya, abbess. The stay of the father of Archpriest John Sergiev in the Leushinsky monastery in 1899 // Russian pilgrim. 1899. No. 35; Taisiya, abbess. In blessed memory of Father John of Kronstadt. St. Petersburg, 1909; Conversation between Father Archpriest John and the abbess of the St. John the Baptist Leushinsky first-class monastery, Abbess Taisiya. With the addition of a description of some special events from the life of Abbess Taisia. St. Petersburg, 1909; Taisiya, abbess. In blessed memory of the good shepherd of Kronstadt // Kronstadt shepherd. B/g, No. 18. Blessed is he whose iniquities are forgiven and whose sins are covered! Blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not impute sin, and in whose spirit there is no guile. He bowed the heavens and descended, and darkness was under His feet. And he mounted the Cherubim and flew and was carried on the wings of the wind. And he made darkness His cover, the darkness of waters and clouds of air surrounding Him. Because of the brilliance before Him, His clouds, hail and coals of fire fled. The Lord thundered in the heavens, and the Most High gave His voice, hail and coals of fire. He shot His arrows and scattered them, many lightning bolts, and scattered them. And springs of water appeared, and the foundations of the universe were revealed at Thy terrible voice, O Lord, at the breath of the spirit of Thy wrath. So, leaving the times of ignorance, God now commands people everywhere to repent, for He has appointed a day in which He will judge the world in righteousness, through the Man He has appointed, having given evidence to all by raising Him from the dead. Notes of Abbess Taisia, abbess of the first-class Leushinsky convent: Autobiography. Pg., 1916. P. 3. Notes of Abbess Taisia... P. 6. Notes of Abbess Taisia... P. 100. Historical description of the first-class Leushinsky convent of the Cherepovets district, Novgorod province. Ed. 3rd. St. Petersburg, 1907. P. 34. Historical description... P. 119. In memory of Abbess Taisia: Obituary // Novgorod Diocesan Gazette. 1915. No. 5. pp. 186–187. Letters from Father Archpriest John to the abbess of the St. John the Baptist Leushinsky first-class monastery, Abbess Taisia. St. Petersburg, 1909. P. 18. Kronstadt Shepherd, 1915. No. 4. pp. 67–73. Kronstadt shepherd. 1915. No. 4. P. 64.