Письмо 83
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Since I see rapid changes in you from spiritual to carnal life, I will write something against this. You had a desire for spiritual life, but it was imaginary and vain; That’s why she plundered the proud fruits of delusion, being deceived by an imaginary holy life and false, under the guise of spiritual, consolations. When the cover of delusion was removed from you and I realized what a disastrous position you were in, then a battle arose against you, with which the enemy had not bothered you in the least before; and you placed your imaginary holiness in it, strived for both the mantle and the shutter; but everything is vain, in order to see one’s imaginary holiness; but there was not even a trace of humility, without which all our good deeds are displeasing to God.
In the battle that has now risen up against you and is driving you into the world, do not be discouraged, but having realized that this has been allowed to you for exaltation - and your current thoughts are completely opposite to the first - humble yourself, repent of your previous unreasonable and untimely jealousy, consider yourself the last of all, ask for help from God and the Most Pure Mother of God, then you will receive relief from the battle, and You will know that with our own strength we cannot create anything good.
If you obey the thoughts that draw you into the world and bring you pleasure from carnal pleasures, then what is crazier than this? Be sure that you will not receive consolation for a short time, but you will always find languor and torment of conscience; when you resist, then with the help of God the enemy will flee from you.
Your fears are nothing more than the consequences of delusion. When you recognize your weakness and humble yourself, then they too will disappear.
You wrote very arrogantly about the steadfastness of your faith in me; This is beyond both mine and your measure. You believe in God and place your trust in His holy providence for you, try to fulfill His holy commandments; what do I mean? I can only imagine my readiness to answer your perplexities, not from my own reason, but as God instructs and enlightens, according to your faith. May the Lord give you strength and strength to stand against the battles of the enemy rising against you, and may he strengthen you to live in the monastery forever. I earnestly wish for this. The sinful hieromonk Macarius. May 29, 1848.
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