Письмо 78

After my letter to you, you have already visited me three times; and you keep asking me to write to you, saying that you are consoled by my letters. I often cannot write to you: I have so many letters, and very little time, that I am always in debt; You had a lot of my letters, they can serve you not just for one occasion, but also for others. Everywhere and always patience is required, and there is enough written about that for your strengthening. Our path is such that we want it or don’t want it, but sorrow should be, by God’s permission, to our temptation and to learning patience. You bring them upon yourself: you grieve for your property; and do not rely on the will of God and on His Providence, which also takes care of the small bird; and you know that you want property for the Church of the Sign of the Mother of God. Be sure: the Lord is able to create His church without you; but you are concerned about building your spiritual church, which is difficult to build in our rank with a lot of property. And even more so, you must renounce the world and everyone in the world - take up your cross and follow Christ, according to His commandment. Do you also mourn the fact that you are not allowed into O..., as if this is reasonable? Do you rely on the will of God in this? Apparently you want to make your own will; and when you improve it, you may not get any benefit. Here you are, bringing grief to everyone, even if it’s your way! And the holy fathers teach us to cut off our desires in everything: and moreover, what we stubbornly desire, we even call it evil. You write that your relatives want to ask high-ranking persons for you: don’t worry about them, leave them to their will, don’t ask them for one thing or another: let them do as they want; and you will be on the sidelines both openly and internally. You can ask for dismissal from obedience with humility - imagine your illnesses and infirmities. And the fact that you are at odds with the abbess is very bad; You, despite all your righteousness, are nevertheless cowardly and afraid of denunciation: surrender this too to the will of God, without which the hair of your head will not perish. I remain the sinful hieromonk Macarius. November 18, 1847. You might be interested in: