Письмо 282
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Your nephew N.N. was received favorably by the abbot; They gave him a cell in the tower, with a trustworthy brother in the neighborhood; and there is still no obedience, except for general ones. You believe, and inspired him, that I can be his guide; but woe to me for this imaginary art about me! I myself am blind, even though blind people come to me; but how can I lead on such a dangerous path, full of darkness, rapids, robbers and fierce animals? If someone is used by something, then it must be assumed in no other way that God’s mercy acts through his faith; and if everyone were led by such faith, and through my unworthy lips, like donkeys (Num. 22:28), they would receive benefit, not trusting their own reason; otherwise the opposite happens: and I cannot force anyone, knowing fully how bad I am. – Two extremes lie ahead on our path: either untimely elevation to an imaginary shrine, or – from negligence, falling into weaknesses and vices; but we will not soon find the middle path. I, having myself been sunk in the mire of passions, advise others, not from my own reason, but from our father’s writings and experimental teachings, so that they should beware of both.
“But speaking is easier and more convenient than doing.”
I didn’t say anything to him about N.N., and neither did he. For my part, I cannot conclude anything about him, due to my short-sightedness, and I would rather see my sins.
About Mother O—I am not at all surprised that she is not strong, or does not know how, and does not even know how and what she should fight against the battle for the mantle. There are those who are faster and smarter than her, but they are defeated by this battle; and not only for the mantle, but also for the ryassophore; they see themselves humiliated in front of others, and in this case it is clear that they do not desire salvation, but ambition; May the Lord help them to freely resist and overcome this passion; but it will be worse when you involuntarily lay down a yoke of sorrows, from which it will be difficult to escape.
To all of you who are like-minded in Christ, I wish you good health mentally and physically, and, asking for the peace and blessing of God on you, I remain your unworthy pilgrim, the many-sinner I.M. January 16, 1845.
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