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You grieve for my short writing to you, and do not measure my strength: I can hardly answer briefly; there are many letters, even more activities, but my health and strength are weakening, and my unworthiness exceeds all these reasons. In your letter dated August 23, you wrote so many attacks that you need to put up a strong battery against each one and repel them: but I don’t even have enough strength, even if I could find something to say. I must not decide, but give an excuse at every point: why did I do this, something that was not in you before, until you saw my unworthiness; and when it was revealed to you, then your imaginary firmness of confidence in me wavered. Be sure that I do not grieve you for this; but I recognize the truth that I exist, and my weakness and unworthiness. In your last letter, dated September 6th, you write that you want to buy a book by St. Isaac the Syrian for 40 rubles; this is a good deed that should not be missed; You cannot get this book anywhere for such a price: but it will someday be useful for strengthening, for admonition and for humility. About the famous old woman, as you decided to build, so be it; to go openly with letters - maybe she will be swayed, and will not serve her well; and as you write, you will be preserved from temptation. W. I didn’t write, it seems, enough; but what do my letters mean? And the teachings of the holy fathers do not affect us. Our will is not bound: both you and she each have their own will, only it is desirable that it be directed towards the will of God. I can't say anything more; and I am not obliged to give reports to anyone: why I don’t say decisively. Questions about this will be in vain. Much-sinful I.M. I ask you to pray for me. September 19, 1844. You might be interested in: