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I feel sorry for you, M.P., that you lose heart in the temptation that comes your way, and are not strengthened in faith and hope in God: don’t you know that through many sorrows it is fitting for us to enter the kingdom of God (Acts 14:22)? And now you are standing on this path; Did you really want to enter there through a pleasant and spacious path? No! This path leads to a known destination - to destruction, from which may the Lord deliver you! – How long ago did you make a vow to the question: “Do you endure all the temptations and sorrows of the monastic life of the kingdom for the sake of the heavenly?” She answered: “O Father, who cooperates with God, I endure.” – And when grief came, it appeared cowardly and impatient; But patience overcomes the temptations of your faith, writes the holy Apostle James (James 1:3). Without it, how can we learn patience and humility? We forget the word of God: whoever wants to follow Me must deny himself, and take up his baptism and come after Me (Mark 8:34), which we were reminded of during tonsure. However, whether we want it or not, we don’t even say we carry the cross, but we pull it; if they were complacent and thanked God for this, it would be easier and more bearable, but if they are cowardly, it becomes burdensome. - Who is to blame for this? Mnogohreshny I.M. June 3, 1841. You might be interested in: