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I congratulate you, venerable mothers and sisters in Christ, mother of A.V. and P., on this coming year, as well as on the preceding, highly solemn holiday of the Nativity of the Savior of our souls, the Lord Jesus Christ. Let us strive to believe in Him and in His incomprehensible, blind, holy providence; Not just in words, but also in feeling, and in deeds we will show it - by fulfilling His holy commandments and obedience to His holy will, by being patient in the face of sorrowful cases, deeming ourselves worthy of them, and always reproaching ourselves. This is my congratulations! Do not demand: the richer you are, the happier you are; As much as my empty head could contain, I serve you. Today, having received your letter, the same day I begin to respond to it, as if talking with you personally: although only N. writes, I accept the feelings expressed by all of you. Not knowing the destinies of God, you should not burden yourself with grief over my separation from you; the greatly gifted Lord is able to strengthen you and comfort you and calm your conscience with His servants; which He did, giving you the feeling to explain your weaknesses to the servant of His Mysteries, and through him to receive peace of your conscience. The Lord is not stingy to reassure you in the future, just have faith and humility. If you do not have a person, then He Himself will calm your conscience in feeling, through faith and humility; and test what it is in Scripture and strive to have it. You write that you were calmed by your conscience when I was with you - an unworthy confessor; it was according to your faith; God is strong and can create power on those unworthy. But this can serve to condemn me, that I accepted and accept from you and people like you, who dullly see my weaknesses, satisfactions; but there is still a doubt about this: if in truth there were benefit from me, then spiritual fruit would begin to ascend, which is: love, joy, peace, long-suffering, faith, meekness, self-control (Gal. 5:22). But if I’m not mistaken, I dare to say: you don’t see them in you, just as I don’t have them myself; that, having seen, God has separated me from you, His sheep, and will give you a good shepherd who is able to sympathize with your weaknesses and bring you saved to Christ. Forgive my insolence that I reproach you for your infertility and do not see your virtues, since you do not see my evils. So, what God has arranged for you, we cannot judge, but we must humbly submit. And how to manage yourself in life, you have enough of the writings of the holy fathers; use them and you will find God’s mercy. Although there is a cross for Mother K., everything is easier than if she were in control; now, I think, T. (the cell room) is resting, and not just she (K’s mother); and, if I’m not mistaken, the real cross is lighter than the one she carried with the deceased. What she manages herself, let it be at her will: whoever is in action is also responsible; It's not you who will give the answer. If you can and have the courage, come in; but how to do this? Is it really possible to knit with papers? - May the Lord deliver him! When you see great damage somewhere, you can say, if they don’t listen, be calm. The abbess’s letter is unlikely to have anything to say about the tonsure of nuns; I don’t think they would report to S—y here. Everything is based on law; When the guardians of truth and law appear in transgression, what should be said about those in charge? It seems they won’t accept any reason. If you don’t have time there, then there is nothing to do, you have to endure. Nowadays, from time to time, severity increases, and this is clearly for our sins, for failure to fulfill vows, and poor preparation for them. Let him write, and what happens is not our fault. Force R. to go to Father Leonid; you see that the network of the enemy creates an obstacle to this, so that his intrigues and deceit are not exposed. I, being weak-minded, cannot give detailed advice that should be edifying, and even more so in writing: the only thing necessary is for her to have revelation and not believe their evil advice. For God's sake, I ask you to encourage her to do this: what is revealed is light, and not what is revealed is darkness; by revealing his thoughts, his intrigues and lies are revealed. Try to take her to the priest, read her the note attached; The Lord is strong to support her and not allow her to perish with His mercy. You are writing to me in response to my letter dated December 8, but I also wrote to you on December 13, which I had not yet received at that time. If you decide to remind me again with your writing, notify O—e’s mother: is she healthy? In your letter, I have attached a note to her; she may be dissatisfied with why I didn’t send her much by mail. I hear that she speaks truth about me along with others who benefit me; I don’t dare justify myself, I’m guilty before God a lot, and I’m worthy of all reproaches, and woe to me, who gave them something to stick with! But through their prayers, for their sake, the Lord separated me from you; the Lord is righteous in His destinies; also inform about M.’s mother: what is her health? And about others, about whom you judge. I don’t write bows to anyone, lest I tempt them with my frequent writing to you. On December 23, nothing special happened to me; It’s true that you saw a dream, or otherwise the enemy wanted to assure you; Don’t believe anything, but only believe that our life is under the providence of God, without whose will nothing can happen to us. I entrust myself to your prayers; I am also your unworthy pilgrim, the great sinner I.M. January 1, 1834 You might be interested in: