Письмо 195

You write, dear E.A., that K. is unwell, and you are afraid that she will become ill again. It doesn't mean anything - a physical illness; we must be careful that mental illnesses do not remain unhealed; and you don’t even want her to accept healing, healing from these diseases. She herself is proud, you want to confirm her in the same; you don’t want her to be treated rudely, and you are worried that she will be commanded by rude ignoramuses, who, in your opinion, are beneath her. How you insulted me! – whose student are you? Christ was humble, and he told us to learn humility and meekness from Him (Matthew 11:29), but you consider others lower than it; This is the science of the opposite, and now you yourself believe in it a guarantee of pride. It is necessary to inspire her that she is worse than everyone else, and if she considered herself that way, she would be higher before God. God commanded us to endure reproaches and annoyances from every person from whom He allowed them to come to us; and you make an analysis: that they are lower than her, they are rude; and perhaps they are great before God. I see that you have no idea about spiritual life, that you think of others that way. There are no nobles, no merchants, no peasants, but all are brothers and sisters about Christ, and the last will be first, and the first will be last (Luke 13:30). Read the books of your fathers and consider yourself the last person, then your boredom will pass; and for K. reproaches and annoyance are certainly necessary, no matter who they come from: God sends them to correct her, and you must inspire her that she is worse than others, and so that she accepts them with patience; In this way she can be healed, but if she thinks about herself, then there is no point in living in a monastery - there will be no benefit. I remain a wisher for your health and salvation, much-sinful I.M. October 4, 1858. You might be interested in: