Письмо 157
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Are you asking if it is possible to talk with A.N. about something about the monastery, since they are experienced and have lived in the monastery for a long time? I do not advise saying anything about monastic affairs, but paying more attention to your own salvation; or you can talk about your weaknesses, about the constriction of passions, and how to get rid of them; but when talking about business, you will not avoid many gossips, and as a result you will fall into sorrow. You are waiting in vain for a reward from the mother abbess: this is where you are sinning, seek and expect a reward from the Lord. The reward lies in a peaceful and calm life, through which salvation is acquired, and not in the ryassophore, which is what you are looking for. Do not let your cell attendant kiss your hand; this results in addiction and a great sin.
I remain a wisher for your health and salvation, much-sinned I.M. October 8, 1857.
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