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When you congratulated me on the holiday - the New Year, your letter expressed in your letter the sorrow of your soul from various events that had come together, and the despair that “it’s the same as perishing.” If we are sinners, then shouldn’t we rather resort to Him who came to save sinners and trust in His indescribable mercy, that through His destinies the message will arrange our salvation, just do not abandon the medicine of repentance and hope. You were chosen and appointed to shepherd the flock of verbal sheep not by yourself, not by seeking, but, by the will of God, as an archpastor. While going through this fast of yours, it is impossible that there would be no sorrows that had 300 sisters at hand; not all are in one good dispensation, but many, struggling with passions, are overcome, and you are insulted; These sorrows are sent to you not without the providence of God, but through His looking: - either for the cleansing of sins, or for the teaching of patience; so that, teaching others to be patient, you yourself may walk this path through experience. No matter how great our sorrows are, what are they against those for whom our Redeemer cried: My soul is sorrowful unto death (Matthew 26:38)? But he created surrender to the will of the Heavenly Father, for our salvation, and love for us sinners to the point that He drank the cup of sorrows until death, and death on the cross, the most blasphemous; Because by the glory of His resurrection He opened the entrance for us into the kingdom of heaven, should we not submit to His will and bear the sorrows sent to us for the sake of our own and for the sake of our neighbors? Yes, and the holy apostles taught us that through many sorrows it is fitting for us to enter the kingdom of heaven; and we were commanded to rejoice whenever we fall into various temptations (James 1:2), and through punishment with sorrows - we must see God’s love for you; For the Lord loves him, punishes him, and beats every son whom he accepts (Heb. 12:6). Accept this teaching of the holy apostles as a healing balm for your sorrowful heart, and bring thanks to the most merciful Lord, who can deliver you from sorrow and give consolation, disperse the darkness of your sadness and shine light in your soul; Just beware of murmuring and cowardice, which aggravate and multiply sorrows. I wrote to you, upon receiving the external cross as a reward, that there must also be an internal cross; - so it will be, and all this is the will of God. You write that there is nothing good in you except evil; angry, impatient, etc. Testing yourself every day and feeling sorry for it will give you strength to correct yourself and bear the infirmities of your neighbors; and what you say: at least to live a little for my soul, I believe, you conclude in this to be at peace from those who insult you; - this will not help, but you can fall into greater laziness. Submit yourself to the will of God; He knows how to save you: if your superiors are not good for you, he will free you from them; and when through Him it is necessary to be tempted and cleansed by sorrows, and to serve others for salvation, then His will be done; and our job is to humbly submit ourselves to thought in front of everyone; then prayers for the sake of the sisters who are being saved under your roof, and for their benefit, the Lord will have mercy on you too. To sisters A. and N. who were offended by you, now I cannot write, because they themselves do not write to me about this; and volunteering yourself will bring you even more sorrow. Your conscience should justify you in relation to them, and be calm. Let us thank the Lord for the past year, in which He preserved us with His mercy; and as we enter into a new one, let us pray that He may give His help to fulfill His holy will; Let us strive to do it ourselves, according to our strength, together with the help of God and with humility. Many sinners. M. December 31, 1846. You might be interested in: