Письмо 144

You were hoping for peace of mind, but you won’t get it. St. Mark the Ascetic teaches us: “Do not be curious about the temptations that happen, how, or when, or through whom they are found: the propriety of each, and their urgent diligence, and the cooperation of all creation in this regard, know only God; We must truly believe in the truth of God and know that without the truth of God nothing happens from the involuntary of man, even if we do not comprehend the mysterious confluence of events and decent diligence that exists as human beings, and for this reason it is appropriate to endure and not deny it, so that we do not add sin to sin again.” I presented you with the teachings of the great saint so that you would see here the hand of God testing you through R., and would look at your dispensation and learn patience. As far as it is concerned, we must leave it to the Providence of God, as He pleases, to direct it. He gave us autocracy and does not force us, but only offers commandments, and converts those who deviate along the paths of His Providence, unknown to us. It seemed to you that she was doing well with you, but if she was not created in some way, at her will, let her seek something better, and you resort to Christian humility, true wisdom, and reproach yourself, saying: “maybe there really are qualities in me that others don’t like, but they run away from my gaze”; and on the contrary, you say: “I see that I am incapable of doing evil.” Isn't it the latter? Doesn't such a thought ever run through your heart? It seems that you and I had a lot to say about this. God bless! He sent you a test, and He also gave you help to bear and pay off your debt. You have fewer people left, and there will be less hassle; I remain the sinful hieromonk Macarius. November 8, 1847. You might be interested in: