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“Many are the sorrows of the righteous and many are the wounds of the sinner,” the Holy Spirit speaks from the mouth of David. Who among us is without sorrow? From the beggar to the one wearing a diadem, you will not find complete peace and tranquility here; and the Lord sends all of this to everyone in their own time and according to their needs, in order to lead us to the kingdom of heaven along this sorrowful path. Through tribulations sins are cleansed, sins are prevented, and our faith is tested. Who can boast of not having sin? And therefore we are debtors to God. People who insult us do not do it on their own, but by God’s permission, and therefore they are God’s instrument. Read from St. Isaac the Syrian in the 51st word, in the section: “as we betray” - you will see the reason why sorrows pass away more quickly, and why they multiply and continue; but I’ll say briefly: when we blame ourselves, we get rid of sorrows: and if we blame others, they multiply and continue. In your letter, dated March 2, you describe the varied and perplexing sorrows that met you in the monastery; That’s why I wrote before that they are necessary for us and therefore for you. They blame you for having been here and not returning as a better person; It is impossible for them not to think this: and certainly, if I were something, then those who relate to me would certainly benefit; and from this lies the opposite; but in truth it is truly understood that there is nothing. They see you grieving, despondent, restless towards the exit: therefore, I did not strengthen you for the feat of patience, humility and submission. I see that you look at them, but you don’t see your weaknesses and passions and are embarrassed. What you write about the actions of the sisters against you who want to denigrate you, let it be true: they are doing a lie; and yet their unrighteousness makes God’s righteousness in us; - Do you understand this? And David did not order to kill Shimei, who blasphemed him, but said: Leave Shimei to curse David; God told him to curse David; - and you do this, saying to yourself: God ordered them to insult me ​​in order to forgive my sins. You say that you are in a bleak state of mind; but if you do as St. teach. fathers, then you will receive consolation, and try to see yourself worse than everyone else, this alphabet is very necessary and useful for us. “I don’t have the courage to give you advice on your transition; you yourself are in double-mindedness; Even if the abbess accepts the mother, how can one hope that she could bring peace, especially peace of mind? But who can vouch for the future? Today it is different, tomorrow it is different: but your strength and health are far gone: no, live in Z-th and establish your thought on the stone of patience and humility and you will calm down; all those who are not disposed towards you will be disposed; and most importantly, humble yourself, reproach yourself and be patient. In your patience your souls will be gained. Ask the abbess for forgiveness for speaking harshly to her, and everything will be fine. “Your testimony is good, but you have to live here; it is clear that this is the will of God; don’t go anywhere, get to work; I need to send money. I see that you are asking with faith whether to stay or not, and I answer with a free spirit: stay and make peace; but the demand comes, then you must let it go again; - Why are you worrying about the morning? Mnogohreshny I.M. March 8, 1858. You might be interested in: