Раздел третий. Письма 161–238

September 12. You, M.M. and M.A., probably received my letter through E.I., sent on September 8th. After that I had no letters from you and would have nothing to write myself. By the way, I’m sending a letter to D. Frost comes to us as if on purpose to tame our dahlias, and now the weather is warm and clear again. God bless you. I wish you peace, health and salvation. September 29. I received your letters from S. on September 17 and 20, and from Orel on the 20th, where you saw: “Poor Eagle, stricken with grief from the formidable fiery element.” Be the will of the Lord: He struck, He will heal. B. said about the comet that “it is a bunch of rods in his hand on the ground,” and in a poetic spirit - “An angel with a sword in his hands.” What does it foreshadow? God knows. I wish you peace, health and salvation and remain known to you December 31st. After mass, I received your pleasant writing, M.M. and M.A., dated 24 hours. I thanked God and rejoiced that you arrived safely at your monastery and were comforted by this, and yours, God grant that it will serve as your peace of mind to gain eternal peace, so that when the church of our body is destroyed, you will have an eternal church not made by hands in heaven (2 Cor. 5:1). May God's peace and blessing be with you! All our brothers thank you for remembering them and, for their part, wish you a Happy New Year. The old year has sunk into eternity. January 1st, morning. I congratulate you on the upcoming New Year, may our hearts be renewed from the decay of passions and may God’s blessing confirm our will to fulfill St. His commandments, and may the grace of God help us to do His will, and may the peace of God rest upon us with all spiritual gifts, both this year and all the days of our life, and may the Lord also grant physical health, if it is useful to you, and may His holy will be done in everything. Here is my greeting for the new year. Now our all-night vigil began at one o'clock, and mass began at 9¼, now even in the monastery they preach the gospel, thank God, everything is fine with us. January 5th. I hope that you will forgive my thinness and weakness for writing to you at all, there is nothing to assure you: you know enough that many letters lie on the table, and even for two weeks without an answer, and poor Fr. A. tortured, who is very weak. The same matter applies to both of you, but when something is needed, then I’ll write it separately, and you can have my letters by agreement, from whomever you find them, or divide them, but each can read it whenever she wants. Have you noticed how my vanity has risen to the top, as if my letters are important! This is how unclean my heart is and what pours out of it? Vainglorious impurity, who will it benefit and what benefit? Glory to God that you, protected by His grace, celebrated the Feast of the Nativity of Christ peacefully and calmly, although there were minor battles, they passed, thank God. From this you should notice that, being in the struggle of our life, we have enemies who disturb our passions and incite indignation against our neighbors in order to lead us into anger. Writes St. Apostle: Be sober, be vigilant, your adversary the devil, like a lion, roars, seeking whom he may devour, but the firmament resists him with faith (1 Pet. 5:8). And the fathers, having accepted the art of beating him, teach us that the most reliable means of resisting him and defeating him is humility, and how to gain it, ask him himself in the 25th degree of St. John Climacus, at the end. Thank God that you met and are spending the holiday peacefully and there were no adventures, and you were honored to receive the image of the Most Pure Virgin Mary into your cell, may she protect you with Her protection, prayer and intercession and arrange for your salvation. You, M. M., you praise my letters, but I myself don’t know what I wrote, and if there is any benefit from them, then, of course, through your faith, God enlightened my feeble-mindedness, and if you could look into my inner structure, you would find that it is far from what is written to us, and wouldn’t it be condemnable that I teach, but I myself do not create? “It is fitting that first we create and teach” (Acts 1:1). January 11th. I have now received your letter dated January 3rd. Thank God that you celebrated the New Year safely, I was pleased to read where you write about your peaceful and harmonious life and how you spent the evening with Mother Superior, spiritually rejoicing in songs and singing; and where, I see, there was confusion, and sorrow will fall on my heart, but there is nothing to do, our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, and against the authorities, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in high places (Eph. 6:12), they are trying to disturb your passions for action, and you, be warriors, clothed in the armor of faith and the shield of salvation, take up the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Take prayer and humility and, with God’s help, defeat the enemy. The Holy Apostle Peter warns us, saying: watch, stand still, the devil is your adversary, like a roaring lion he walks around, looking for someone to devour (1 Pet. 5:8). You must stay awake and watch your heart so that none of the bitter weeds of the enemy fall into it. There is nothing to teach you, you are written, you rest on books. May the Lord help you, during times of stormy excitement, not to be overwhelmed by the waves of your passions, but to strive for a quiet refuge - humility. That’s how much I wrote to you, but I didn’t say anything good about myself, and there’s nothing to say, I am poor and wretched (Ps. 85:1) for good deeds, but have become rich in weaknesses and sins. Having wished you all peace, health and salvation, I remain unworthy Hieromonk Macarius. January 13, 1859. Thank God that you now find peace in your smooth cell life, having found the path to this - self-reproach and humility. Our passions have not yet been conquered, but lie within us until someone shows them to us. So, each one pay attention to your weaknesses and learn, with God’s help, to cast aside passions, so that the seeds of virtues fall on a good and clean land from passions, thorns and thistles, and someday they will bear fruit in the heavenly granary. Please note, M.M., that after the previous days, which were calm and brought you spiritual consolation through the service and cell peace, you suffered from a physical illness, thank God for everything. But if, after hiding grace, you happen to fall into weary and joyless darkness, then even then there is no need to become despondent and despair, for through these visits we come to humility and knowledge of our infirmities. You have already partly experienced this on yourself, and you yourself know enough, but I just remind you: I do not move in my abundance, but as for the further words, you yourself know (Ps. 29:7), in the 88th word of Isaac the Syrian it is clearly stated about this. January 19th. Morning, 5 o'clock. Having risen from sleep and brought thanks to the most merciful Lord for all His mercies and preservation of me, a sinner, in this night, until I set to work on the Scriptures before mass. I received your letters, beloved sisters in the Lord, yesterday and thank you for congratulating me on Angel’s Day and for your intention today to pray for my thinness in your cell during your visit to the most pure icon of our Intercessor Mother of God. God bless you with M.M. and M.T., thank you for participating in this prayer. In the monastery yesterday evening we had an all-night vigil for St. Macarius of Egypt; Fr. M., o. G., o. I. and o. F. And so we had a good rest after yesterday’s bustle, which is not diminished for us, there were quite a lot of guests, so that all the hotels were occupied, but your Mother Superior did not arrive, apparently something prevented her. Yesterday I received 38 letters from the post office, and by chance, many are lying unread, and when should I respond? I will not respond to your letters in detail, but will only say that I sincerely rejoice that there is peace and harmony between you, I thank the Lord for this great mercy towards you, guard this gift with humility and may your heart not be lifted up about this, may the enemy not scold him, disturbing your hearts with his machinations, but may God’s help be with you forever, to the humble who despise. 5 o'clock in the afternoon. Thank God, the day was spent well, and I was given so many gifts that I don’t even know what to say. First about. G. brought a large icon, painted by him, of the Savior, who took the lost sheep on the frame; I accept this as a sign of God’s mercy towards me, the worst. Then Fr. D. brings from I.P. a sewn cassock, I don’t know what kind of material, but it’s good and not very obvious. K. came, gives the paper, donates his Moscow house to the monastery. And there, whoever is rich in something is happy with it: some an icon, some a spoon, some a box of chiseled work, and so on. It is not so much the things that are dear to me as the brotherly zeal for my evil, God save them! January 26th is not far away, I congratulate you, M.M., on your birthday and the beginning of the 33rd year of your life, may God grant you to live many years and learn salvation, but I lived 71 years and 2 months, I ought to think with the Prophet: I thought about the first days, and remembered the eternal years, and learned (Ps. 76:6). What's the past? Like yesterday, and endless eternity, how do I live? Woe to me, a sinner! Lord, have mercy, and grant that we may end the rest of our lives in peace and repentance, that we may have a Christian death that is not shameful, peaceful, and that we receive a good answer at the terrible judgment of Christ. I really need to think and think, but what am I doing? You are still young, and vitality is spreading in all your members, and your mind is blooming, pray for me, a sinner. I heartily rejoice in your cell world, but let not all flesh boast before God; let him boast in the Lord (1 Cor 1:29, 31). And I fear that you, while boasting of your peace of mind, may not be subject to any temptation. The Lord is with you, and may He establish your peace, based on humility. I thank you for your zeal for my thinness, your common dependence and labor, M.M. and T., in the flannel robe made for me, although I have no significant need, I accept it for your love and will wear it. Only one thing you didn’t realize was that you should wash or shrink the flannel first, otherwise when they wash the blackened one, it will shrink, you did this out of inexperience, but the trouble is not great, but the zeal is great. January 24th, morning. Thank God, today I have been honored to be a partaker of the most pure Mysteries of Christ, even though I am unworthy of this gift, but out of His mercy the Lord did not reject me, a sinner. January 25th. Today our Vladyka is the birthday boy, we served a prayer service after mass, may the Lord extend his reign over our flock for many years, good shepherd! Today I received your letter dated January 17th, I see that for three days after your last letter they spent it safely, peacefully and calmly, and if battles happened and will happen, do not be horrified: from them you will recognize your weakness, and if you resist, with the help of God, come to art. And if instead of resistance and self-reproach we “act on passions,” then we will not learn art. You yourself found this out from experience. Lord help you, in the passion of God, to achieve your salvation without arrogance. January 26th, morning. Congratulations to you, beloved mother M. in the Lord, on your birthday today. May the Lord bless your life in the 33rd year to rule according to His commandments, imbued with love and humility, and here you will still be honored with peace and spiritual consolation, as a guarantee of eternal bliss. I couldn’t find anything better or greater to wish for you. And you, beloved Mother A. in the Lord, I congratulate you on your dear newborn, may the Lord preserve lasting peace and true Christian love between you, about which St. the apostle writes to the Corinthians in the 1st epistle ch. 13th Art. 4th. And our sweet and all-generous Redeemer, the Lord Jesus Christ, when He departed to His Father who loved us sinners, what did He leave us? I leave peace to you! My peace I give to you (John 14:27). What kind of world is this? Every mind surpasses all (Phil. 4:7). Oh Lord! Vouchsafe us to be worthy of this sweet world, at least to receive some! I love you, Lord, my strength, the Lord is my strength and my refuge. I thank you for your zeal for my badness, that you so solemnly celebrated the day of my Angel, not according to my dignity, but for me the zeal of all of you, Mother Superior and sisters and the most venerable Fr. P., that they prayed for me to the Lord, the Mother of God and the saint of God Macarius of Egypt. The Lord bless you all and reward you with His mercy. I will personally thank M. Mother Superior here, and you will thank Fr. P. for his diligence and love for my thinness. Say my gratitude to all the sisters for their zeal for me, a sinner. There are a lot of letters, but I don’t have the strength to write, I didn’t sleep last night and felt languid, it’s good for me, because the Lord humbles me. Be healthy, peaceful and calm, I remain the wisher for your salvation Now I have received your letter, written on the very day of Angel M.M., thank God, who arranges it so that you receive my letters on the birthdays of your Angel. Give thanks to the Lord, who gives you consolation, and try to correct your path before Him by fulfilling His commandments, and in case of sins, repentance and humility. Thank God that you are peaceful and calm among yourself, but do not attribute this to your strength or diligence, but even more so, humble yourself about the previous troubles: let not the wise boast of his wisdom (1 Sam. 2:10), etc., in which we boast in our hearts, then again we allow ourselves to be in power in the enemy’s network in any way. May the Lord keep you in humility. I won’t tell you anything about N., except that I grieve and regret her. K. again writes that I should petition M. for another position, but I do not have such a spirit and do not ask for anyone, and even worse to ask for relatives, let them not rely on me, but on God, who gives everyone what is necessary and useful, and not unnecessary. Remember in Otechnik, when Pimen’s sister asked him to write to the prince about his daughter, who had fallen into trouble, so that he would have mercy on her. He did not agree to this, but she considered him inhuman and came to the prince with grief at her brother that there was no love for mankind in him, because he did not agree to ask him. Then the prince said: “That’s why I’ll let my daughter go because I didn’t write, and if I had written, I wouldn’t let her go.” And now we are reading “On the relations of the Roman Church to other churches” by Avdiah Vostokov, and how bitter it is to see all the tricks of the pope and his army - the Jesuits and propaganda, how many tricks he made in achieving the primacy of the popes and their infallibility and in many dogmatic innovations in the church after the fall from the Greek church. And our church stands in the purity of the teachings of Christ and the apostolic and holy ecumenical councils. But they introduced heresies, and our church considers them heretics. And they are still intensifying to spread their heretical teachings to our dear and Orthodox Russia, and many of the aristocrats have already become carried away by their teachings, converted to Catholicism and are trying to drag their brothers there too, toleration was allowed, and now their false heretical teachings are being preached. How is it not painful for me to see members of my family mixing with heretics? I’m not angry with them, but I’m worried about them, but I don’t want to write to them, empty and vain talk, they didn’t listen, they united with heretics and now they won’t listen to them joining our church. I won’t write about your details; enough has been written that without self-reproach, humility, patience and love it is impossible to be saved; with these means, battles are eased, and the treachery of the enemy is overthrown. My business is that I hustle from morning to evening, and by night I weaken, there are many letters, demanding answers, but I don’t have the freedom to write even one, collect my thoughts and put them together. My poor situation and arrangement! Nobody knows him, but I only see exclamations: “Holy Father!” etc., but they don’t see my holiness, infertility, insensibility, etc. I don’t know how to get out of this rut! I’m finishing my post, the bustle has overcome me! I remain a sinner and... M. February 18, 1859. Peace to you, beloved sisters in Christ and daughters in spirit! Today I received your letter, in which both joys and sorrows are expressed exactly as days are nights, and nights give way to days, and just as the temperature in the atmosphere changes according to the weather, with such changes we learn about our structure and weakness. Try to stop any clashes between each other through reconciliation and beware of intentionally annoying each other. Do not sleep, the enemy does not sleep, but tries to sting with arrows of unworldliness from all sides, you need humility. M.M.’s panicky fear of death is wrong: remembering death, you will not sin forever (Sir. 7, 39). Here you need to have some kind of memory of death and fear, read about the difference in the fear of death in St. Isaac's 38th word. February 28th. Now it’s 8 o’clock, our mass has ended, thank God, there were many communicants, more than 60 people in our monastery, and I, a sinner, was honored to partake of this Divine meal, I think your service has ended and there were communicants, some of whom were among you, congratulations. Thank God that you are at peace with each other, but do not let your hearts be lifted up about this, and do not each attribute to yourself that the world is being organized because of you or because of your efforts, but rather, let each prefer the other and attribute to her the bearing of weakness, and reproach herself. God forbid that the travelers of Kyiv L. were greeted, not an expensive treat, but a warm welcome. Glory to God, who strengthened you to spend the holy first week, but the other half has already passed, we will not see how fast will fly by, and your whole life against eternity is like a drop in the sea. V. accomplished her feat, passed into eternity, one must hope for the mercy of God for her suffering and having departed in faith. March 7th. Today I was honored to receive the monastic image 44 years ago, but having done nothing good, I have humbled myself. What answer will I give? And the end is unknown! Pray that the Lord will have mercy on me. During the occasional visitations of God - consolations - beware of being carried away into opinion, for this is what causes unplaceable thoughts, and grief over the loss of tenderness proves that they were consoled by it and that they were worthy of it. We must grieve, but for the reason that deprived us of it, and we must consider ourselves unworthy, we are still far from humility, then the Lord humbles us. Poor M., you fell ill with a fever again, I sincerely regret that it will exhaust your already weak strength even more, but the will of the Lord be done. However, this disease is not dangerous, only debilitating; it is necessary, calling on the Lord for help, to take medical remedies. Spiritual consolations either follow or are preceded by sorrows, let us not be arrogant, the same happens to you, so that you don’t think too much about yourself. Keep peace among yourselves, and do not grieve me because I take your insults among you painfully; meanwhile, my letter has created in you the intention of not having a hostile pledge in your hearts from the clashes that occur; God help you to fulfill this good intention. Well, would it be better if I remained silent and did not write to you, or approved of your arrangement, or kept silent about it? But if only he would please you, and would receive from you the mutual indulgences that I read in every letter of yours? And can I not be seduced by this, that I really am so loving in your opinion? I am not writing this to shame you, but as my beloved children I am punishing you (1 Cor. 4:14), according to the word of St. Apostle, not even to offend you, but to give you the guilt to be careful in advance. Will you really take these lines of mine as an insult? Read from St. Apostle Paul in his letter to the 1st Corinthians, ch. 7 tbsp. 8, 9, 10 and 11 and be sure that, besides love for you in the Lord, I do not have the slightest hostile pledge, it seems that you can be sure of this, I ask you, calm down and forgive my badness. I ask you, for God’s sake, do not grieve me for my foolishness and insult to you, if I had paid attention to myself and my shortcomings, I would not have taken out other people’s twigs, but would have taken care of my own log, peace be with you! I wish you and all of yours to peacefully see off the field of fasting and achieve the bright feast of St. in spiritual joy. Easter. I. M. February 28, 1859. You, M.A., describe the painful suffering M.M. endured in a severe fever. God bless you and the sisters who sympathized with her illness and helped her in every way they could. The calling of a physician and medical benefits, with the help of God, can give her relief and healing, “if you are sick and serve, they accept the same reward.” With the onset of spring, you can come to us, of course, Mother Superior will let you go, it is useful for the sick person to soak up the fresh air and our pine aroma. It’s a pity for Mother Superior that she is ill, but she needs health for the general benefit of your monastery, save her, Lord, and grant her healing. M.M. is afraid of death, and I wrote a special note to you so that she would not be afraid of death, and why, read it - you will see there. What confusion and revolt against our Orthodox Church everywhere! I don’t remember if I wrote to you, a book was recently published, 158 pages of small print, octagonal, printed in Paris, written by some of our princes. Golitsyn. He tries to prove from our books about the primacy of the pope and other dogmas that the Western Latin Church is true, and the Orthodox Greek Church has retreated, calling on the Russian Church to unite with the West and with the Pope. And all of this is far-fetched and false; indeed, it was bitter and sorrowful to the heart to read. Such an attack on the church, and from whom? From your children. Of course, not everyone will believe, and especially those who are confirmed in the faith, but those who are indifferent to the faith, and especially the aristocrats who are still lame, will probably drink this poison and turn away there. Meanwhile, quite a few books have probably already been distributed throughout Russia; anyone traveling from abroad will bring this book as a jewel. This is how our church suffers, the sheep have taken or are taking upon themselves the arbitrary responsibility of teaching and do not want to listen to the shepherds of the church, they climb into the fence and scatter the sheep. But Lord, do not betray us to the end for the sake of Your name, but establish Your Orthodox Church on the immovable stone of Your commandments and the teaching of its ecumenical councils in accordance with the Greek Church, from which we accepted the faith! I congratulate you on the birth of this saint. fasting, and let us prostrate to the front and prepare for the remembrance of the great and sacred events revealed by our merciful Lord in the matter of our salvation. March 23rd. Thank God that you, M.M., are feeling better, God grant that you will fully recover to the glory of God and to the consolation of the sisters who love you and care for you. I congratulate you all on the upcoming feast of the Annunciation of the Most Holy Theotokos, at the spiritual triumph and physical establishment of the church with its charter, allowing you to taste the fish. I wish you, through spiritual and physical consolation, to be established in the glory of God and the Most Holy Virgin Mary, who on this day received the good news of the salvation of the whole world. The eternal council is open to the Most Pure and Immaculate Virgin. May she, the intercessor of the entire Christian race, save and have mercy on us sinners! The rumors that have reached you about the phenomenon that took place in the Sergius Lavra have not reached us, but it seems that we could find out if there was truth. Although this did not happen, there is nothing good to expect. The Lord also sends miracles in the present time to strengthen the faith, such as: K. from the icon of St. Nicholas described in D. Conversation. And recently in St. Petersburg, the icon of the Mother of God of Tikhvin from a poor girl became famous for its miracles, which was transferred to St. Isaac's Cathedral. And in Moscow there was a manifestation about a certain Theodore, but it was not realized by further indications of signs; there was a manifestation about the same thing in 1804 and 1816 and is now left until further manifestations of signs and wonders, God willing. This, of course, is what the Lord sends for confirmation in the faith and for conversion, and in the words of one father, “he graciously prepares for the test of fatherly punishment,” speaking of the northern capital, with regret it is expressed that “it lies over the capital heavier than the smoke from factories and factories,” but meanwhile luxury with insane self-praise and insane amusements, like an infection, has gripped everyone, neither sermons nor exhortations can stop it, except for miracles and disasters. Speaking about the general course of affairs, we must each pay attention to ourselves and appease the Lord with repentance, try to live our lives carefully and humbly, not give free rein to our passions, act out of adversity and indignation from some words and empty actions, but consider our own sins and be forgiving to each other. There is no point in believing and being embarrassed about empty rumors about Napoleon, he is not at all following the path that the Antichrist should be, according to the teachings of the fathers, and he is no longer in the same age, and is married, etc. What we do not know, let us not dare to test. I want to remind you all the time, but I forget that when you receive spiritual consolations in church, do not get carried away, considering yourself worthy of it, and even more so, descend into the depths of humility, considering yourself unworthy, so that you do not fall into an opinion about yourself and do not be seduced by false consolations. Moreover, do not look for it with aspiration, that is, with expectation, read about this from St. Isaac in the 2nd word: “The things of God come of themselves,” etc., and in the 55th word on 290 pages, and the Most Reverend is very appropriate to this. Philaret of Moscow’s conversation given on the Annunciation of the Most Holy Theotokos in 1858, read that too. And to you, M.M., I’ll remind you: you didn’t have time to get out of bed and you’re already back to work, yes, work doesn’t interfere, but you don’t need to procrastinate like you’re doing and kill your health, you can exercise in moderation, I’ve already reminded you of this many times, you need to listen, because this is also your passion. Just as I wish for you and your virgins to achieve their salvation in peace and health, I remain and. Macarius. March 27, 1859. March 28th. Now mass has passed, and I am writing a few lines to us. Our intercessor, the Most Holy Theotokos, the Virgin Mary, has made us worthy to celebrate the day of Her praise. Glory to God and her merciful intercession and intercession for us, today the entire Orthodox world sings her praises and She, the Mother of Mercy, hears and accepts our prayers, intercedes with our all-merciful Lord Jesus Christ, His Son and God, for our salvation and gives us good and useful things. O All-Merciful Mother! Do not leave us, and grant us the honor to call on You until the end of our lives, and at the end of our lives, grant us the honor to obtain mercy from the Lord. I think your vigil was especially solemn. For you, M.M., your illness has also been added to your illness, may the Lord strengthen you and give you strength to endure with submission to the will of God. Of course, your illnesses will be imputed to you instead of exploits: and, perhaps, without them you could fall into passions, even more severe illnesses. We have the approximate patience of Father Vassian! An involuntary illness prepares for him eternal bliss, which he himself could not achieve voluntarily. What will we do when we look at our deeds? God's mercy alone for sinners gives hope for salvation: let the message of destinies arrange it. When St. John Climacus, having been in the monastery of the penitents and seeing their exploits and labors of repentance, says about himself that he “almost despaired,” then what can we say about ourselves? The servant of God John, who died in your city and was buried in your monastery, achieved goodness through his peaceful death, nothing other than illness, and maybe he had other virtues, we don’t know. The kingdom of heaven to him! April 4th, morning. Glory to God, according to our strength we remembered the resurrection of the righteous Lazarus and glorified the most merciful Lord, the Savior of our souls, who assured us of the general resurrection before His passion, and now, even after our weak fast, we will accept the consolation of caviar. Thanks be to the Lord, who feeds you both spiritually and physically. You, M.M., rested a little after the fever, and again it visited you, and you, M.A. with M. and T., grieved for the sick one. It is a good deed to take part and grieve for a sick person: “to be sick and to serve will accept an equal reward.” And you, M.M., don’t be cowardly and don’t be afraid of death. God is merciful and, of course, will make up for the lack of your exploits with your painful patience, for this reason He sends them to you out of His fatherly love. I wrote to you about this quite a lot, I am writing now, strengthening you in the feat of patience, but God is strong and is still able to restore you from a painful state and prolong your life, however, we are all not immortal and must repay our debt to nature, just grant, Lord, to end our life with repentance and receive a good answer at the Last Judgment of Christ. I sincerely regret you and sympathize with you in your illness. Lord, help and have mercy. Since you should receive this letter near the holiday of the joyful Resurrection of Christ, I sincerely congratulate you on it and greet you with a joyful exclamation: “Christ is risen!” Tomorrow, Lord, help us and you, as we begin, to spend Holy Week reverently. April 6th. Passion Week has begun, thank God. How is your health, M.M.? Yes, it’s far away, you can’t tell soon, we’ll wait until Wednesday and then from 1 o’clock. Yesterday I read to your mother about your illness, she was very upset, cried, I tried to persuade her as much as I could. I haven’t seen anyone today, I’m writing letters, even though I’m weak. I wish you to strengthen yourself in fasting and prayer. I remember today the great events accomplished by our Lord Jesus Christ for our salvation. By washing the feet of His disciples, by which he gave us an image of humility, at the Last Supper he gave us His Most Pure Body and Life-Giving Blood and with His ardent love united us with Himself: you who eat My flesh and drink My blood, abide in Me, and I in him (John 6:56). Then the prenatural prayer, and His tradition from the disciple. Remembering all this, what thanks can we give to our Lord and Savior, who loved us sinners? One love and humility. And love for Him unites us with each other through love and also through humility. Can we say that we love God when we insult His neighbors? We must resort to humility and repentance, and He is always ready to accept us into the bosom of His fatherly love, but we remain insensitive, what should we do? Lord, have mercy! Now many have been honored to be partakers of the Most Pure Mysteries of Christ. I think you too have been worthy of this great gift, for which I heartily congratulate you. Yesterday I received our letter dated April 1st, but I’m leaving the detailed writing for that. You, M.M., are always ill, it’s a pity, but there is nothing to do, apparently the Lord arranges everything for the good, through the local illnesses to grant eternal life, accept without grumbling, then you will ease the burden of your cross. And you, M.A., by participating in her will also not lose your reward, and both of you remember that love and humility are most needed for you, and pray for them to be granted to you. Although I am not sick, I feel weak and exhausted, the food is poorly fed, but spiritual food could strengthen me more, but I am deprived of that too, I write and write, and Fr. A. I’m tired, but I won’t write everything and won’t finish, and I don’t know when I’ll finish, of course, the time will come. I have already written to you about your trip to Kiev, but we will leave it to the will of God how it will work out. April 10th. Great heel. Vespers has departed. Our Savior lies in the grave, for whom? For us. Do we feel it? Lord, have mercy! There are people who feel it, but I'm talking about myself. Today I wrote all day, but didn’t finish everything, and I also received 28 letters, and I haven’t read them yet. I wish you and everyone living with you peace, health and salvation. I remain the sinful hieromonk Macarius. April 11, 1859. April 12th. Christ is Risen! I greet you on this joyful day of the bright holiday of the Resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ and especially you, M.A., on the day of your Angel. And you, M. and M., with the birthday girl, my good wishes are known to you, I will not repeat them. In Matins we remembered you and mentally greeted you. Christ is risen. Matins departed for us at 4¼ o'clock, and mass at 10½. At 11½ we had already finished our meal. I read your letters, they did not please me, although the embarrassment has stopped, but it is doubtful whether the spark and ash would have sunk and started smoking again. We all see the bad in people, but in ourselves we are imperceptibly a whole log, what to do! I can’t write to you much, be kind, don’t punish me for these small lines. I wrote to you, M.M., not so much from A.’s letter, as you think, but M.S. instilled in me this with great regret about you, about your passion for work - candles for several hours, that this is harmful to your health, this candle is very heavy, and the enemy everywhere finds an opportunity for indignation, and the reason is my foolishness. April 15th. Today is the fourth day, as the holy churches are filled with hymns in honor of the Risen Christ, our God, and work has all been abandoned - rest. But do we take a break from passions? Isn’t it more likely that we work with them out of idleness? Each of us should take care of this, and, truly, no one will boast of being free from one or another passion, but we clearly do not see this and do not care about freedom of spirit. Of their number, I am not the last. What to do? We should humble ourselves, but when should we humble ourselves, when we all only see the weaknesses of others, and our own passions behind us! We are keen-eyed to analyze others, but blind to ourselves, woe to us sinners! The letters have tired me, and there are still hundreds of them ahead, more than 80 are lying around, they advise me to leave the correspondence, otherwise I myself am exhausted and Fr. A. is exhausted, in poor health, and doesn’t know what to do? Letters are multiplying hour by hour, and summer, health, and strength are leaving. April 20th. I received your letter, written on the eve of Easter, yesterday. Glory to God that you, strengthened by the power of God, spent the week of Christ’s Holy Passion peacefully and calmly, and were honored to be partakers of His Most Pure Mysteries of Body and Blood, may they be for you for the salvation of your soul and the health of your body. How did you meet and spend the bright holiday and the whole week? I will await our notification. May the Lord bless us and grant us peace, health and salvation, which I zealously desire for you great sinner. Macarius. April 21, 1859. I received your letter on the 15th, I see that you celebrated the bright holiday safely and pleasantly, peacefully and calmly, thank God! But later we encountered illnesses and sorrows, and this is how it should be, so that we would not become arrogant, but, receiving spiritual consolations, would be cleansed by the opium of temptations, which brings us humility. With your illness, M.M., T.’s illness also offended you, of course, this is your weakness, but God is able to heal it when it is His will, as you yourself express: “Be the will of the Lord on all of us.” Thank God that you are peaceful and calm among yourself, and this is most precious, this gift our Lord Jesus Christ, leaving this life here, left St. to the apostles and to all who believe in Him: peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you (John 14:27). How can we not value it when it is with us! That’s the trouble when confusion settles somewhere, the enemy rides there with his chariot and shakes the mind, heart and soul, and what’s more sad than that? And where peace reigns, there God also dwells: where two or three are gathered in My name, there am I, in the midst of them (Matthew 18:20), says the Lord. Let us try to preserve this peace with the help of God, you have the Holy Scripture and the teachings of the Fathers, you study from them, and therefore you know how this peace is violated: obviously - by pride, but again by humility. Help M.M. decorate her cell, and she helped you decorate your cells. Peace to you, and to her, and to everyone living with you. During this time, I was very tired and so tired that yesterday I lay down all day and could not do anything, and people grieve me for their dissatisfaction and letters accumulate, demanding answers, and not only postal ones, but also those sent by chance, and then you just start writing the letter, they came and interfered, but what can I say about the book? No time to read. You are happy, you have more time for spiritual pursuits, you are covered in books, but you have no time to read, you lie in inaction. In your illness, M. M., take advice and a remedy, God is merciful and strong to send you complete healing, healthy forest air would be good for you, and especially pine air. You wrote that you wanted to go to P., but I don’t know if you fulfilled this intention? I congratulate you on the newly shorn nun A., God grant that she changes her character, otherwise she can be a burden to both us and herself. How far we are from humility! And it would crush all the arrows of the evil one. You need to study this Divine science, you don’t need to go to universities or academies and spend money on it. Both the poor and the rich - everyone has the right and the way to learn for free: learn from Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls (Matthew 11:29). Let us not be disloyal to the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, but let us take advantage and begin to learn; there is always time: not only at the 3rd, but also at the 11th hour, He does not reject those who come, but accepts them and gives an equal reward. Let's go! According to your intention to visit P.P., may the Lord bless you to fulfill it and receive the mercy of God, and the intercession of the Mother of God. Glory to God that you are peaceful, and I wish that this peace would not be decimal, but peaceful. You, M.M., were comforted by letters from your relatives and parcels, thank God that they remember you, and you pray for them, and don’t worry about the paper, let’s put our trust in God’s providence, if He does not take care of us, then nothing can calm us down: the Lord’s earth and its fulfillment, the universe and everyone living on it (Ps. 23:1). We see how He pours out His gifts on us daily and every minute: the earth is filled with the mercies of the Lord (Ps. 33:5). And to those who believe and work for Him, He rightly promises to grant eternal life, for which we sin before Him, let us repent, and He graciously accepts and forgives. After a long drought, the Lord was merciful and sent beneficial rain to water the face of the earth and water the vegetating plants to bear fruit. And then the people were depressed, looking at the fields, but now they were comforted, and, of course, many cried out to the Lord, and He heard the voice of the prayer of His servants, sent rain, glory and thanksgiving to the Lord. Asking for God's blessing on all of you, I remain and. M. May 13, 1859. You are now, probably, in P.P. under the protection of our Lady Theotokos, at her most holy Kazan icon. You came to Her with an offering of your diligence and labors to M.M. - an artificial candle. May She accept your zeal and intercede with the Lord for your salvation. Help you, Lord and the Queen of Heaven, to complete this pleasant journey with the benefit of soul and body. Peace be with you! That's right, M.M. and T. are with you. June 3rd. Farm or dacha Simple. The third day we rest here: I, Fr. F., o. P. and o. A. Here we read the book of Abba Isaiah the Hermit, which is being prepared for publication; the book is very useful for our vocation. There was no way for me to do this work in the monastery. We spend our time here peacefully; we caught fish twice, which the local owners cordially treated us to. The location is pleasant, the building is all in order, there are also bees, we are relaxing here on the mezzanine, the view is beautiful, I am not a poet and I cannot describe all the beauty of this area. June 7th. I received your letter dated the 30th upon my return from P.P. Thank God that you were comforted there and rested, now you need to fight the good fight, look at your weaknesses and not despise others, thinking of tearing out other people’s twigs, we don’t feel our own log. The sufferings of M. M., O. are signs of God’s love and mercy for her, that she will receive eternal bliss, everyone has their own sorrow and illness is difficult. Comparing heart disease and the suffering of N.N. the unfortunate one, won’t the latter be worse? Here she is alone suffering, and she is surrounded by children, pitiful children and a cruel husband, these bonds are heavier than all iron chains! But we cannot experience all of God's destinies. Let’s imagine M.’s suffering, what are they? With an externally painful situation, one must assume that there is no little mental suffering, but all this leads to the purification of what was done by wild youth and arrogance. The works of God are wondrous and incomprehensible to our darkened mind, but as much as possible, we learn from Scripture and from experiences before our eyes that the Lord sends illnesses, sorrows, deprivations, famines, wars, rebellions, either punishing for sins, or warning them not to fall into them, and tests the faith of others. So, we must revere His all-wise Providence and thank Him for all His ineffable mercy towards us. You, M.M., did well to write instructions for children; nowadays no one will say a word, but everyone is smart, civilized and progressive. Perhaps your word will fall on good soil and someday bear fruit. June 8th. I don’t know if I’m worthy of regret, but I’ve been so beaten up by the incessant rumors that I don’t know what to say about myself, that I exist. Physical weakness, mental insensibility, spiritual poverty, and I can’t get out of this rut, and besides, I can’t satisfy everyone, what should I do? And besides, I am abundant in everything external. What answer will I give to God? I am ending my days in vanity and carelessness and distraction, and I have no time to write letters, and my head is empty. It’s noisy here today, it’s a fair, God save you from this vanity and rumors, I know how hard it is. You have read only one article about Shuvalov, and now entirely false teachers, speaking in each other’s ears, began to preach on bloodshed: they write against our Orthodox religion with impunity, no one forbids them; Although well-disposed magazines cry out against them, what do they achieve? I wrote to you about the book “On the possible union of our church with the Latin one,” written by Prince. Nikolai Bor. Golitsyn. Strong bile against the Greek Church: he extols ours and tries to prove from our liturgical books about the primacy of the pope, he tried to discredit the sermon of Metropolitan Philaret, published it in Leipzig, and so what? Remained unpunished. The well-intentioned magazine “Home Conversation” is published; there is a lot of good stuff there against these people and their writings. If anyone has it, read it, it’s a weekly publication, and very cheap, 2 rubles. 50 k. ser. per year. May the Lord bless your journey peacefully and calmly and in good health to reach the God-saved city of Kyiv, reverently worshiping there the Most Pure Image of the Mother of God and the relics of the holy saints, and return safely to your monastery. I remain a long-sinful wisher for your health and salvation hierome Macarius. August 4, 1859. August 6th, morning. I congratulate you on this bright holiday of the Transfiguration of the Lord. I don't know where you are at present, but I suppose you are on your way; Have you been to a service somewhere? Thank God, everything is fine here, the weather is cold, that is, at night, do you have extra warm clothes? Peace be upon us! Only for a pen, and there’s a group of people at the gate, and whoever can, they’re knocking in the cell, when can you write? And the letters lie and accumulate. August 11th. I think this letter will find you in Kyiv, but I no longer know whether to write to you there? And I haven’t known anything about you since the 3rd, how you continued your journey from Orel. At present, it seems that you should be on the road, but I don’t know where exactly. Peace be with you, may the Angel of God accompany you! August 15th. I congratulate you, beloved sisters in the Lord, on this joyful holiday, the honorable repose of the Mother of God from earth to heaven. Our brothers all bow to you and together with me ask you to pray for us at the relics of St. pleasers. I can’t tell you anything special about our monastery, everything is in one situation, there was a great drought, and everything dried up, but on the 22nd and the next day there was quite heavy rain and watered the face of the earth, and all the plants became cheerful, and with them both people and cattle rejoiced. I am very glad to see from your letter that you found peace in the Borisov monastery, and were pleased with the love of the mothers there, and enjoyed their lives. God save them, and you imitate them in humility, obedience to each other and love, you yourself know that humility crushes all the arrows of the enemy. On the 29th, the venerable E.A.P. died with a blessed and quiet death. She joyfully passed into this century, at 1 o’clock in the morning she died, with only M.A. with her. “What joy for me,” she said a few minutes before her death. All this time she was preparing as if for a longed-for feast for her departure into eternity, and the Lord deigned to accept her into eternal shelter. It was a touching sight, the nuns carried her to the hospital church, her face did not change at all, here is a blessed death, as she lived peacefully, calmly, and went to the Lord. This is very instructive for us! Thank God, I received your letter from the God-saved city of Kyiv, you reached it safely. Thanks be to the merciful Lord, who preserves you on a rather distant journey. Although you were met with temptation in Kyiv for the first time, you later received great consolation through the prayers of our Most Pure Lady Theotokos and the saints of God from Pechersk, and Fr. M. consoled you with his attention, but every good deed is either preceded or followed by temptation. After the drought, we now have some rain, and that’s enough, thank God! You write that you are preparing for communion of the Holy Mysteries by September 1st, and the departure from there is scheduled for the 2nd, and it’s good, it’s time for you to get back to your place, you’ve been traveling for two months, you’re tired in both spirit and body. Glory to God, who preserves you on your journey and gives you spiritual consolation in the God-saved city of Kyiv. The Queen of Heaven and the saints of God interceded for you and consoled you. This is what faith means! She is a gift of God, as St. writes. Apostle: And this is not from us, it is the gift of God (Eph. 2:8). But then the enemy rebelled against you, indignant at each other with your own passions, and you, lacking self-reproach and humility, were defeated and lashed out at each other. You must recognize your weakness everywhere and always make a beginning, as you have promised many times. When we carry within ourselves the guarantee of our thinness and humility, the enemy will not find room for indignation, but why should we be arrogant? Are we living as we should? We don’t need anything, we turn away from sorrows, we don’t have patience, don’t ask for love, then there is only one remedy: “With humility we forgive our sins” (St. Isaac’s 46th word). But everything has passed, and let this serve as a lesson to you that it is better to leave everything to God’s providence and reproach yourself rather than insult each other. When will we come to correction if we do not monitor the movement of our hearts and strive to correct it? Having completed your journey, you and your companions are now resting in your monastery in your peaceful, cozy cell. The Lord bless you, and the Mother of God will intercede, and the saints of God will intercede for your peace and salvation. I am not sick, but I am often weak and tired from large meetings, and this is already a consequence of old age, thank God, who has preserved me for 71 years, for I was born in 1788, and I have nothing good, and I will not boast about anything except about my weaknesses. You, having been in Kiev, of course, were enriched with grace-filled spiritual gifts, so guard them and nourish your souls. I wish peace, health and salvation to you and everyone living with you. I.M. September 16, 1859 Thank God that you successfully completed your journey and were honored with the great gift of worshiping the shrine found in Kyiv, you had great spiritual consolation, but it could not be without being tested by the fire of temptations and sorrows. Now be more prudent and humble, do not be led by the spirit of pride and self-justification, where they exist, there cannot be peace and tranquility, I wrote to you a lot about this, but, apparently, my word does not fit into you due to the rottenness of my dispensation. But do not accept as mine, but what was spoken by the holy fathers, admonished by the Holy Spirit. After more than two months of absence, your quiet cell seems pleasant, if only the winds of evil spirits do not fan the flames of rage and burn the fruits of the heart’s field, but a quiet breeze of the spirit of grace blows, returning the fruits of patience, self-reproach, humility and love, so that they are worthy of the heavenly granary. What can we say about the arrangement of pitiful A.? So what should I do? And we are sometimes in the action of passions no better than she is, and we, the literate ones, are sitting on books, and she is with pots by the fire, she needs to talk during the silence of her dispensation, which is harmful for her and it is unbearable for everyone to endure her. You write about the diseases that visited your monastery, and about the death of livestock. All this is painful and regrettable, but who can know the destinies of God? He punishes you, as the Father who loves his children, seeking our salvation, takes away temporary good things, but we are worthy of eternal ones, otherwise we, as we abound in everything, then we give ourselves over to passions, forgetting God, who created us and provides for us. We read Pogodin’s article “Trinity Road” in Russkaya Gazeta. What bilious venom was written about the monasticism of the Lavra and, in general, moral lessons were taught about the construction of the road and about the clergy. It was bitter to listen to how the world mocks the spiritual, and woe to us that there should be the light of the world, but now the world wants to enlighten us with its gloom and darkness - not light, but darkness. You write that you were expecting a high visitor to your cell - the icon of the Kazan Mother of God, so that, after spending the night in your cell, the next day you could serve the all-night vigil and akathist to the Queen of Heaven. May She, the merciful Queen, have mercy on you and establish peace between you, destroying all the feats and intrigues of the enemy that your passions erect against you. ABOUT! When the Lord gave us peace, I would have a holiday! Today we read the Apostle: God is loving, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him (1 John 4:16). What a great thing this is - love! Do we have it? As you look, you will find the opposite, and out of habit we will judge that others have no love, but if we look at ourselves, we have this impoverishment, and when we read in the 1st letter of the Apostle Paul to the Corinthians, chapter 13, art. 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 – there we will see the properties of love! Peace be with you! I remain a wisher for your health and salvation great sinner. Macarius. September 26, 1859. September 27. I congratulate you on the spiritual triumph of visiting the most pure icon of the Kazan Mother of God, may She be your protection, and intercessor, and intercessor of your salvation. You mourn the high cost of vegetables, but in Moscow it is even more expensive; at the beginning of autumn, cabbage was 60 rubles. ser. a hundred, and then it reached 15 rubles. middle, when they brought a lot, potatoes 40 and 50 kopecks. gray, but we have a harvest for all this, but I don’t know the price. September 28. What should we do? We live in all bodily contentment and tranquility, we have moved far away from the sad and narrow path walked by our fathers and mothers who pleased God, and with all this we give freedom to our passions, and especially to pride, pride, rage, we do not want to bear anything from each other, humility and love have moved away from us somewhere. St. Abba Dorotheos says that “we cannot bear each other because we do not reproach ourselves,” read these backs, we really need them, it is useful to repeat this teaching about self-reproach more often, it is necessary for our peace of mind. Each of us finds a reason for self-justification, and what does it bring? Confusion, annoyance, and resentment are deprived of peace, while self-reproach, on the contrary, brings humility and calm. St. teach a lot about this. fathers, and especially St. John Climacus, St. Barsanuphius and Isaac the Syrian, we read them, but in reality we poorly understand them. September 30. Today I received your letter, M.M. and M.A., dated the 23rd. Thank God that you are peaceful among yourself, may He help you to always maintain peace, it is the Lord who commanded us to have peace and love. And the resistant one hates the world, but causes enmity and confusion. We must follow the best. October 5. You ask whether to accept N. m. N? I do not forbid you from doing this if you find one that cannot bring you spiritual harm, because vinegar and wine seem the same by appearance, but are known by taste. Let him who understands understand! October 6. Today is the day of my entry into the monastery, I turned 49 years old, the 50th has begun. Help, Lord, to pass the rest of my life in repentance. Please pray for me. I would like to go to mass, today St. Apostle Thomas, may he build even small churches for us sinners in eternal life, he is a skilled architect - what kind of house did he build for the King? I wish you all peace, health and salvation and remain sinful and... Macarius. 1859. October 8. On October 6th I sent a letter to you, M.M. and M.A., and on the 7th I received yours dated September 30th, your letters are filled with descriptions of your infirmities and reproaches for not bearing with each other. God grant that the words you express be sincere and from a humble spirit in the heart and that there is no opposing pledge in it, from which the words fly out. “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34). And I, a sinner, write and speak to people, but I myself remain inaccessible, but it is proper to create first, and then teach. I am very glad that you, M.M., were consoled by receiving letters from your relatives and about the successes of their children in the service, God grant that they be faithful to our Orthodox Church, otherwise today the contrary opinions of the Church are multiplying and they believe more in their own minds. October 15. These days I couldn’t write to you, M.M. and M.A., having started these lines, I don’t know if they’ll let me write. Yesterday I received your letter dated October 1st, I was glad that your passions had calmed down, but for how long? Don't know. You understand very well that the action of passions comes from your will and inattention; you do not have self-reproach, but self-justification. It seems that you have experienced enough of what a burden it brings to the soul where there is self-justification: well, let it seem to each of you that you are both right, and in front of each other the other is guilty, and the fruit of this is confusion, remembrance, a stone lies on the heart, and you have lost complete peace of mind. And when everyone recognizes their guilt without justification and reproaches themselves, then peace, harmony and tranquility are established. This is the power of humility, for God looks upon it and calms you down, you all know this, and I am writing only to remind you. How much you have suffered in this short time from the action of your passions! But none of this would happen if we reproached ourselves, if even now we do not see guilt in ourselves, then past shortcomings and guilt before God should humble us, but the trouble is that each sees herself in the right, and it is a mistake to admit and give in to one another. “When I submit to her, she will prevail over me” and other similar proud excuses and thoughts do not allow any place for either love or humility, which is why you suffer wounds from the arrows of the enemy until you call on God and humble yourself. You, M.M., at the beginning of my 50th monastery anniversary, composed such a panegyric for me that I was even ashamed to read it, and I’m afraid of it: “Woe to that man, his name is higher than his deeds.” And according to the word of St. fathers: “Excessive praise differs in no way from reproach.” October 17. I’m finishing my email and can’t say anything special, only that it’s raining heavily. I wish you peace, health and salvation and remain the sinful hieromonk Macarius. 1859. October 22. I congratulate you on the current feast of our Lady Theotokos, Her Most Honorable Icon of Kazan. Today we have a renewal of the Kazan Church, a small consecration and service. There was no small miracle in the decoration of this church, by the providence of God and the Queen of Heaven everything worked out wonderfully, there was no shortage of funds, of which there were very few at the beginning - God sent materials, also unexpectedly, and a special painter unexpectedly appeared and worked so quickly and well that everyone was surprised. I corrected the church schedule again, cleaned and corrected the old icon paintings just like new ones, and when you look at the old ones that were still uncleaned, you have to be surprised, I did it so diligently that I didn’t sleep at night. A Kolomna tradesman was walking from Kyiv and came to us quite by accident, and when they found out that he was a painter, they asked for help and found his talent to be excellent. If it weren’t for him, the church would have remained just as black, although they were washed, they only wiped it off, because they had already washed it from the soot twice, there was another wall cleaner, also without an invitation, and to this same silversmith appeared, who also did a lot, cleaned the vestments on the icons and plated many things with silver. The icons are now large behind glass. Well, everyone just sees here the special providence of God, who arranged to wonderfully decorate the church of the Queen of Heaven. Congratulations on this holiday. October 23. Yesterday I couldn’t finish, the service was quite long, it started at half past eight o’clock, and right after the service it was lunchtime, from where we left at exactly one o’clock. I could no longer write, I was weak, and then I received Moscow mail. October 28. Yesterday I didn’t write to you, although I had your letter dated October 17th, but at that time I felt very weak and didn’t write to anyone myself, and for two days in particular I didn’t go out anywhere, now I feel, thank God, better. Today I received your letter dated October 21st, you write that M.T., after a severe headache, received miraculous healing from the world and from the relics of St. saint of God Mitrofan. Always, now and ever, God is marvelous in His saints (Ps. 77:36). Glory and thanks to His merciful providence for us! Now you have a fair, bustle and noisiness, but it seems that everyone is not busy, and whoever needs it is busy, and you are fussing, but not everyone. What should we do, since we are monks, we are burdened with infirmities, but rather with indulgences for ourselves, and what is our poor monasticism? We do not need anything, but we provide for ourselves for a long time to come, and we do not know when the hour of transition into eternity will come! And with the meagerness of our work, we are still meager in humility, patience and love! Lord, have mercy and save us through your own destinies, according to Your unspeakable goodness and mercy! Of course, those who have capital and lived on interest will think, what to do with it? Turnovers are dangerous; one trust must be placed in the Lord, who provides for the entire universe. He is rich and exceedingly rich, and commanded that we seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, then all (temporary) things will be added to us (Matthew 6:33). November 3. Having rested a little, I would like to write to you, M.A. and M.M., these small lines, but, having worked with some, I again became exhausted and felt relaxed, I couldn’t do much, I was weakening. Having looked through your packs of letters dated October 24, I don’t find anything special to answer, your usual day and night occupation, and in it you have time to look after yourself in weaknesses and inclinations, this will lead you to the knowledge of your passions and resistance to them according to the fatherly teachings that you read and read. Thank God that peace is established among you, and you yourself see that where there is peace, there is all goodness and tranquility, perfection is difficult to achieve, but humility completes our shortcomings, and we carry them in our neighbors. God bless M.M. for visiting you on the way back, and upon arrival in M.A.G. met with great sorrow: all of their property was described, and everyone was removed from disposal, their trade fell, and they remained insolvent for 5,000,000 ser. This is how fragile the perishable wealth here is! And what is it like to endure this, having lived almost a century in honor, glory and wealth, to suddenly come to such ignominy throughout Europe, not just M.? And after a luxurious life into a moderate one? May the Lord strengthen her to endure this sorrow graciously. November 4. I received your letter dated the 28th, you describe your hectic fair time, but now it has passed, and you are calm, thank God that you are peaceful and calm, and henceforth may the Lord bless you for a peaceful dispensation throughout your cell. It is already the third month since you returned from your journey to the monastery, and time flies unseen, and especially in a benign monastery, in a cozy cell, in harmony and peace among yourself, and where there is peace, there is God, and His place will be in the world (Ps. 75:3), as the Scripture says. Peace is dearer than everything, dearer than gold and silver and valuable stones, may the Lord always be with you, and may the enemy with his machinations succeed in nothing when you overthrow him with the weapon of humility. November 16. So the fast has come - rein in permission, I think you will be fasting this week. M.P. again tested the cell, and this, apparently, was the last one, serving to cleanse it. Tell her to be patient, and not only will she receive purification, but will also receive the crown of patience, she herself writes, tell her my blessing. Your thoughts confuse you about how you will live, the interest rates are low, and everything has become more expensive. Place your trust in the Lord, and He will nourish you (Ps. 54:23). According to His word: seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you (Matthew 6:33). And if we live badly and God’s will is done, then we will endure little with submission to His will, but He is generous and merciful: He will rain on the righteous and on the unjust (Matthew 5:45), and every living good will is fulfilled (Ps. 144:16). Luxury has increased in the world, so, apparently, the Lord wants to limit it somewhat by the high cost of products in order to lay out this soul-destroying weapon. November 17. I don’t have time to write much, but I’ll just tell you that I ask for the peace and blessing of God on all of you. November 18. I received your letter dated November 11th. Thank you for wishing me and Angel a happy birthday. Yes, it's already 71 years old. It is unknown how long the coming will take, and I don’t know how to appear before God, the will of the Lord be upon us. You grieve over my ill health, but it is changeable, you cannot say that I am lying down, but sometimes I am awake and walking, and sometimes I am no good at all. Thank God for everything. Yes, the soul is greater than the body: the body will hurt, and that’s the end of it, but mental illness extends into eternity, Lord, deliver us from this illness and grant healing. You and M.M. were faint-hearted about how you would live with a decrease in interest and other income, but then you reasoned sensibly that no one had ever died of hunger, and God feeds all creation, and with it He will feed you, but seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, then you will not be abandoned (Matthew 6:33). November 22. In your opinion, M.M. and M.A., this is what happened, I received your letter today on my Angel’s day and thank you again for your congratulations. Now I had a good night's rest, but in the past two days I was very weak from lack of sleep, not that there was no time to sleep, but there was insomnia, which visits me from time to time, and especially during some alarming cases. November 24. Now Fr. I. went to the birthday girl to congratulate her on Angel’s Day, they were very pleased, but he brought very sad news for me, which I could not have expected: N. N. had a mixed meal with Lenten! Why this kind of people-pleasing! There is no way I would have stayed to dine with them if I had been there. I myself am a sinner and many sinners, but the violation of the rules of the Church in such a pious house is very painful for me. I will see them, I will not praise them. About the illness of the venerable N.N. God alone knows the nature of this illness and the reason why it was allowed to happen, and of course, not physical, but spiritual, and as you, M.M., express it, “a spiritual cross.” The sins of each of us are known to one God, and we cannot judge what we do not know, but there are sins that are not considered sins, this is pride, called in the world “noble self-love.” Performing a job according to his position and in society very well and commendably, pride takes first place and serves as a motivation, and his opinion gives them value and is proud, not at all considering it a sin, but there is no humility. The Lord commanded: even if you do all that is commanded, you say, “For we are unworthy servants, even as we ought to do them, we have done them (Luke 17:10). This destroys any opinion about oneself. There are many examples of how the Lord punishes people for pride with various punishments: King Nebuchadnezzar, when he ascended in heart and uttered the word: “Is not this great Babylon, whom I have built into the house of the kingdom” (Dan. 4:27), and suddenly attacked with his mind, turned into a beast and was in this position for seven years. And in our time I know former examples: one major, who commanded a regiment with great merit, but, having heard one word from the brigadier general: “G. Major, this is not how you command!” - went crazy. And there are many, many similar cases and various punishments. It is necessary to seek healing in humility, which God looks upon; the king and prophet David, apparently, needed humility when he cried: it is good for me, for you have humbled me, so that I may learn your justifications (Ps. 119:71), and first of all, do not even humble me, even those who have sinned (Ps. 119:67). I am writing all this only by reasoning, and I do not dare at all to attribute it to the sufferer. Who can understand the mind of the Lord, or who can be His adviser (Rom. 11:34)? The destinies of the Lord are incomprehensible and incomprehensible to us. That he says that “it’s worth nothing” and so on. If it were done with humility, it would be beneficial, but otherwise it is with embarrassment and proves the pride that preceded it, which often happens in spiritual training. May the Lord help him receive complete healing. I don’t even know the firmness of his faith and Orthodoxy; today many believe according to their own reason and in their own way. November 27. I am now finishing my letter. Tomorrow, if the Lord pleases and we are alive, I want to go to B., I haven’t been for a long time. Asking for all of you the peace and blessing of God, I remain the unworthy hieromonk Macarius, who desires your salvation and health. November 28. It’s 9 o’clock, mass has ended, I’m on my way now. 1859. December 1st. Thank you, M.M. and M.A., for your zeal for my thinness, I for notifying you about the events of your monastery, the spiritual triumph of tonsure into the schema, mantle and ryassophore. I congratulate them on accepting this sacrament. May the Lord help them to keep their vows with humility, which is the guardian of all our spiritual deeds, and even intercedes for us to the Lord. Let God’s will be done for your coming here, and when it is, then His help will be sent down, we will wait. I have now received your letter dated November 25th. God bless you for the solemn prayerful remembrance for my Angel: and the breams served you for comfort, I am very glad. So the next day A. treated you to Lenten cabbage soup. They seemed tasteless, but if we remember what kind of meal the saints had. Fathers are meager, then we will be satisfied. Meager food saddens the flesh, but enlivens the spirit; what can we do when we have moved far from that path? Only through patience and humility should we have hope in God’s love for mankind and ask that the message of our destinies will save our misery. You complain about vanity and rumor and bless a serene life, how can you not please it? But our passions deprive us of enjoying it, for without fighting passions and defeating them, we cannot have true peace in silence, and we are disturbed by passions: vanity, love of fame, lust and love of money. From them, the whole council of passions takes up arms against us, the poor, but I cannot philosophize about this, you have the fatherly writings, you see from them the image and order of our life and know your measure and weakness, and humble yourself more. December 9. I received your letters dated December 2, M. M., and December 3, M. A. First of all, I want to scold you, M., for your tireless work on the carpet. Well, how is your health?! Afterwards you groan and become all relaxed; you say something to regret, but you scold. Yes, I scold you, and this is not the first time, work, but moderately, and not without straightening up, how can you not have pain in your chest and other joints of your frail physical composition, and then there is also mental distress! About T. sorrows in this matter, you can turn them away, for “God is the one who sends them to everyone,” according to the arrangement of it and the need for salvation. When Paul needed sorrows, what do we say about ourselves, who are afflicted with various passions? Thank God that girl P came to you in spirit. May the Lord bless her to live with you, serve and receive salvation. December 11. I must now finish the letters; I wish peace, health and salvation to all of you and those living with you. Many sinners and... Macarius. December 12. It’s a quarter past nine, and it’s still dark, I can’t say anything special, the trees were decorated with fluffy snow instead of leaves and flowers, and especially before my eyes, a large acacia bush lowered its branches, weighed down with snow, nature is majestic at any time. God is great in all His works, wonderful are Your works, O Lord, You have created all things with wisdom (Ps. 103:24). 1859 December 15. I get down to my usual job, there are newcomers, I need to deal with them, when will I think about myself? Either there is no time, then there is weakness, then there is laziness, and just look, an unexpected thief will come (Matthew 24:43). Yes, God knows what awaits us. S. Art. as if intoxicated, they are luxurious, dancing, dancing, but their finances are impoverished, their expenses are exorbitant for everything. Europe is looking at this and, perhaps, is preparing to drink the cup, may the Lord save everyone from these fierce sorrows. Yes, the trouble is that faith is diminishing, and unbelief is increasing, what to expect? Lord, have mercy! Pray! Pray that the Lord will have mercy on our poor Russia! December 16. I received your letter, M.M., dated December 9th, you write about your usual painful suffering and about your activities. Read spiritual books, fill yourself with the teachings of St. fathers of your hearts, melting away from passions. Today S.O. was with me and said that she couldn’t get enough of reading the book of St. Isaac the Syrian, whom I did not understand before. O. A. thanks you for congratulating him on the day of his Angel, for the diligence of all of you for our monastery, sewing the carpet, may the Lord come, and we, sinners, accept and thank, but be careful not to damage your health, after your letter, I believe, M. A. will soon return, and I greet both of you with the end of the fast. December 8th. The time of celebration is coming, the stichera are very sensitive, and the canons are beautiful, preceding Christmas. Lord grant you spiritual consolation. December 19. I congratulate you all on the approaching joyful and solemn holiday of the Nativity of our Lord Jesus Christ, may He rejoice with unspeakable joy about our glorious salvation, and may the peace He gave through His coming remain with you inseparably, and we and the Angels will sing to Him with our hearts and lips: glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. (Luke 2:14). Our skete fathers P., A., I., I., F., A. and N. greet you on the holiday and wish you peace, health and salvation. December 21st. Yesterday I was very exhausted all day, on Saturday there was a big post, an arrival, an all-night vigil in the evening, and I was so tired that I had a hard time getting to my bed and fell asleep for a while. The post office rewarded me with 21 letters, including yours, M.A. and M.M., received at 12 noon. December 23. I don’t know how much I can write, but I have collected a lot of letters, and the ones I need, Fr. arrived last night. A., we worked with him a lot. He also brought letters, including from the great hierarch Archpastor Philaret, gracious, attentive paternal writings. Today I received your letter dated the 16th, I don’t have anything special to say to you about it, except to remind you to keep your conscience against each other in words, otherwise, from some empty and insignificant objections, God forbid, an unpeaceful spirit will fall again. The trouble is that everyone is right, and one is smarter than the other, but there is no fool. Thank God your singing is getting better. We must accept the good, reject passions, and reproach and humble ourselves for our passions. Yesterday N.N. arrived. I reproached her with reproaches, but I myself accept them unpleasantly. And whoever wants to be a friend of the world, what happens in relation to God? (James 4:4) December 25th. And now with these small lines I congratulate you, M.M. and M.A., on the real holiday of the Nativity of Christ, I also congratulate you all, M.M.S., P., T., and I wish you to spend these days peacefully and calmly. I remain the desirer of your health and salvation, many sinners and... Macarius. By the way, I congratulate you on the New Year, because you will receive this letter on New Year or the next day. M.M., I’m still warning you: don’t force yourself to work hard on the carpet, it’s harmful to your health, if you don’t finish it, you can send it later. December 30th. Now I have received your letter, M.M. and M.A., dated December 23rd, you describe some of the shocks and embarrassments that you experienced, but they were passing, and thank God, through this you are learning patience. If the thought of covetousness comes to any of you, conveniently reject it, seeing what sorrows await those in charge, and what is it worth to lose the silence of the cell and activities? December 31st. Today I couldn’t write anything to you, I’ve been pushing all day, except I congratulate M.M. on her Angel’s Day and you too. That’s right, you dined with her just now. We had an all-night vigil in the evening and it was already half past ten. Goodbye to the year 1859, go into the abyss of centuries, and tomorrow we will meet the year 1860. But let’s not wait for twelve hours, but as God willing, we get up in the morning. I congratulate you on the eve of this. January 1st, morning, 5 o'clock. Thanks to the most merciful Lord, who has given us the gift of passing the past year of 1859 and entering the present year of 1860. We pray to His goodness, that He will grant you the privilege of passing through the entire time of your life in fulfilling His commandments, passing through this temporary life in peace and repentance, and granting you a Christian death, peaceful, unashamed and a good answer at the terrible judgment of Christ. The Church of Christ asks for this every day, and encourages us, its children, to do the same. I congratulate you on this New Year: both of you, A.M., M.S.T., and I wish you to enjoy a peaceful and pleasing life and to achieve your salvation in mental and physical health. So our brothers ask us to write a word from them to congratulate you on the New Year, and we ask you to pray for us. January 6. I usually thank you for your congratulations on the holiday and the New Year. I sincerely rejoice that the Lord deigned you to celebrate the holiday with spiritual joy, but it was already necessary after this joy to be cleansed externally by sorrows, and internally by our passions acting in us. 11th. Yesterday I received your letter dated January 2, and now you should now be on the road for the third day, may the Lord protect you and send you a Guardian Angel, mentor and protector on your journey. Peace be with you! February 14th. Today is farewell day. It’s true, you say goodbye to each other, leaving, if anyone has anything against anyone, according to the commandment of the Lord, and I say goodbye to you in absentia, M.A., M.M., S., May the Lord forgive you for what you are guilty of before me, and forgive me in the same way. Now in our church the brethren are saying goodbye, but I stayed, partly out of laziness, partly out of weakness. February 15, morning 5¼. By morning 8¼ we left. Thank God, yesterday’s fuss and concern about pleasing the larynx and satiating the belly has stopped; everyone is trying to listen to the service and think about the soul. I congratulate you on the upcoming fast, may the Lord strengthen you mentally and physically in the deeds that befit us, listening with humility, patience and love to the words of the prayer of St. Ephraim: “Lord, Master of my life...” and so on. And the ending: “Lord, grant me to see my sins and not condemn my brother.” February 16th. We spent one day safely, and now nothing, thank God, is easy. How did you start the post? Peace be with you! March 2nd. I received your letters this morning, and since there are a lot of letters, I hasten to quickly write an answer to your letter in order to get rid of at least a little of the written debt. The roughness that happened to you seemed to come from your arrogance, since you decided to blame each other and cut off your will in front of your sister, then a test was sent: your gold turned out to be on a whetstone with a ligature, and you involuntarily had to humble yourself and make a beginning in the hope of God’s help. That sometimes peace, tranquility and consolation happen to you, and sometimes withdrawal - darkness, then this change is necessary in our training. See Callistus and Ignatius ch. 43. March 6th. Glory to God that you, mother M.M., and the cell members were worthy to partake of the Most Pure and Life-Giving Mysteries of Christ. By feeling the consciousness of your own thinness and unworthiness, you attract the mercy of God, and we are more conscious when we see our poverty and when there is nothing to rely on. Today we were at early mass in the monastery, and our singers sang excellently, everyone was pleased. The 7th, the day of my tonsure into the mantle for 45 years, but there are no monastic affairs! March 8th, morning. Yesterday I spent the day in illness, but I was at mass, the day of the Helper of the Mother of God, today there is also mass for 40 martyrs, and tomorrow is Wednesday of the Cross, also mass, but we don’t have a service in the monastery, they are painting and renewing the iconostasis. There is no time to write anymore, I wish you peace, health and salvation. March 23. In the morning it was frosty, and by 12 o’clock the sun was 28 degrees Celsius, nature came to life, but the water was still difficult to move and the snow was not completely melting. Time passes quickly, three holidays are coming, and Easter is not far away - 10 days, and who knows, in these days, maybe many will go into eternity. Yesterday I wrote a letter to you, and today I received yours dated the 10th, I see that you are spending your time as usual, and you, M.M., have suffered your usual crisis, what should I do? This soreness, perhaps, will save you from many mental illnesses; God’s fate is inscrutable to us. The pitiful situation of... N.N. Her hope for the prosperity and happiness of her daughter did not materialize, it is a pity for her poor one. It is in vain that they attribute this to corruption; there may be many reasons, incomprehensible to us, but known to God alone, and can a demon act on a person without God’s permission, when he did not have the power to enter into pigs? And she is naturally overcome by boredom from grief over her husband and her miserable situation. There is no need to despair, but to seek healing from the Lord through the prayers of His saints. Mitrofan and Tikhon, go there and pray at the relics of their saints with an offering of repentance for sins. God is able to have mercy on them. March 24. The morning is cloudy, no frost. Your N.N. and N.N. have arrived, they are all healthy. They say what terrible incidents happened in Poland at some meeting or at a ball; They were dancing, and suddenly a candle from a chandelier fell on one dancer, the sleeve caught fire, the gentleman tore it off and threw it away, the other’s dress caught fire from the sleeve, and she was burned and, jumping out onto the porch, died, and who says that both died the next day. What a terrible defeat - Lent is considered nothing! Another incident also happened during the dance. The girl died in the gentleman’s arms, but that doesn’t matter. What I heard is what I pass on. What is happening in the world today is terrifying! Philosophical rationalism is spreading its infection in our dear fatherland of Russia and threatens religion with danger. Read the article “Philosophical rationalism of the present time” in this year’s “Christian Reading” in the March book, although not the whole article, but only pp. 297, 8, 9, you will see what a terrible revolution is being prepared, and what the younger generation will strive for. And in the 10th issue of “Home Conversation” what is the civilizers’ objection to the speech of the Reverend. Antonia at the opening of a women's school in Kyiv? Their article “A Few Words” was reprinted in “Home Conversation”. What respect for spiritual shepherds! And this is no longer in words, but published in print. This is what we've come to! March 25. 9 o'clock. Now they are announcing mass, and I greet you all on this joyful holiday. “The day of our salvation is supreme,” the church sings, and it proclaims joy to Christian hearts, the earth preaches great joy, and the heavens praise God’s glory. Oh, may the Lord grant us the Archangel’s voice to cry out pure: Rejoice, full of grace, the Lord is with You, until the end of our lives, with hope and Her mercy to receive eternal salvation. Today there was a frost of 6 degrees, it was not melting well, however, spring is taking over. March 27. Having chosen a free moment after our mass, seeing off the guests, I want to congratulate you on the current solemn holiday of the glorious entry into Jerusalem of our Lord Jesus Christ, in order to seal His love for the human race with suffering and His blood. The Jews and the Jewish children greeted Him joyfully, crying with them: Hosanna in the highest (Mark 11:10). The Irmos of the current canon clearly and touchingly express the mysterious significance of this event. One says: rejoice Jerusalem, rejoice all you who love Zion and beyond, and the Prophet encourages: do not be afraid, daughters of Zion, behold, your King is coming to you, meek and saving. All this applies to the church and to the soul of each of us. What will we bring to Him and how will we reward the Heavenly King and our Savior for such love for us? Meeting Him with branches and branches, with songs calling, blessed art thou who cometh (Irmosy na Blagov.), let us bring, according to the strength of our virtue, love and humility, feeling His inexpressible love and mercy for us, and we will try to forgive their offenses in our neighbors, recognize our own badness, show love with humility and, if possible, do good to them. March 28. I stood for two hours, after listening to one Evangelist Matthew, out of necessity I came to the cell to take care of letters, tomorrow is mail, there are a lot of letters, but at least there are a few more urgent ones to write to. Yesterday evening I received the Kyiv mail, including your letter dated the 19th. Thank the Lord that you are passing through the time of St. fasting peacefully and calmly, the Lord comforts you while listening to the church service, which the church so wisely arranged and arranged, guided by the Holy Spirit. So the past three holidays, wonderful and great events of ours for the sake of salvation, are remembered to us to strengthen our faith and hope for salvation, mercy for the sake of the mercy of our God, only we, accepting the feeling of spiritual joy, may we not be lifted up about this, but humbly let us think about ourselves, for God looks upon the humble. The Lord Himself gave us Himself as an example, commanding us to learn from Him meekness and humility (Matt. 11:29), and the example of the Most Holy Virgin Mother of God, how humble She was and even when she was rewarded with the annunciation of the incarnation of the Son of God from Her (and what consolation did She have then, who can think and say?), she expressed her submission with humble words: Behold the handmaid of the Lord: be unto me now according to thy word (Luke 1:38). And what kind of prophetic song did She sing about Herself? For look upon the humility of Thy servant, for from now on all kin will bless Me (Luke 1:48). We see this event clearly and consider ourselves blessed that we are worthy to bring our songs of praise to Her, and we have refuge in Her in our sorrows, and we have Her as a supporter and intercessor to our Lord for the forgiveness of our sins and for our salvation. Shouldn't we humble ourselves, constantly sinning and angering God with our thoughts, words and deeds? And how can we ascend? At the present time, the remembrance of the Most Pure, saving and Life-giving Passion of Christ awaits, may He vouchsafe us all to remember and always remember it with a feeling of gratitude and humble consciousness that through our sins we caused Him this suffering, but His love surpassed the burden of it, who will speak about this great mercy of Him towards us? We need to finish the letters now, they are going to the city early tomorrow. Although I congratulated you on the feast of the Resurrection of Christ at the last post, but when you receive this letter on the days of Easter, I greet you again: “Christ is risen!” And with you, mothers M., S., P., T. and others. I wish you all peace, health and salvation. 26th. It’s all frosty here, the day is melting, the water rises and falls during the night, and this may be for the best, otherwise there would be a lot of water. April 3. On the very day of the bright Resurrection of Christ, I greet you with the joyful greeting “Christ is Risen!” and I congratulate you on this great triumph. Our Matins began on the 5th quarter, now it’s 7 o’clock, they announce mass, and now let’s go, peace be with you! It's one o'clock in the afternoon. Mass was served by Fr. archimandrite, 6 pairs of hieromonks and 7 hierodeacons, the meal ended at 11 o’clock. Thank God, we had a rest, we need to go to the living room, visit everyone and congratulate them. Moscow mail was received yesterday evening, 14 letters to me, it took me a long time to read, but I don’t know when I’ll respond, a lot has accumulated. April 4. 4 o'clock in the afternoon. Today Fr. served with us. Archimandrite A... X..., who stayed with us for the holiday at the rostopel, at mass there were Fr. our archimandrite, Fr. Abbot Anthony, we drank tea with me, and Fr. dined with us. Archimandrite A. and Fr. Abbot. Yesterday evening, just before the holiday, I still received 18 letters from your mail, but not yet the Moscow one, and today I... sent something from B-a, and about a dozen letters, just right to read, but when to respond? And I received your letter on the 26th. Glory to God, who visited you with spiritual consolation, but accept it with humility, as St. John Climacus in word 25, ch. 5, read it yourself, but without humility, perhaps, you can be seduced by your imaginary dignity. Well, when some shocks happen after consolation, we will involuntarily resign ourselves, but in these, that is, spiritual temptations, read in Chapter. 49 and 78 St. Isaac the Syrian and be strengthened by them. There is nothing to say about the current enlightenment. Nowadays people have become so smart that they are even surprised (speaking of clergy) how they could appropriate to themselves the monopoly of teaching. You, of course, read “Home Conversation” No. 10, 11, how G. Sh. wrote against P. A.’s speech and how P. and P. polish it. You may have read this in passing, but if you take a closer look, you will see what a misconception there is in the current enlightenment. April 7th. Christ is Risen! I am rewarded with letters every day, yesterday I received 14, and today I received 10. I need to respond, but I don’t have enough energy and time. During the whole day, without going anywhere, I’ll write two letters, a lot of three, and oh. And... I tired my friend, your letter of March 30 does not contain anything special, but I still write at least a few lines about it. The Lord strengthens you in your efforts of fasting and prayer. He gives consolation, but let us not be arrogant, but humbly accept it, and let it remain, as I wrote in my last letter to you. Thank God that you are peaceful among yourself, know: where there is self-reproach and humility, there peace can be lasting. April 8. Now I wrote letters all day, but I still couldn’t answer half of them, but I wrote all these days, but I’ve written a lot! I won’t write two letters a day, thank you Fr. Ah... it helps, I killed him. I wish you all peace and health. April 9 morning. Today is the last day of Easter, I congratulate you on celebrating it. Who will God deign to receive it next year? April 17. Christ is Risen! I am very glad that you spent the Easter holiday peacefully and calmly and were honored to receive the image of the Queen of Heaven. God bless! Your Orthodox faith animates and comforts our hearts, although we are meager in deeds, we do not lose hope in God’s mercy and we will cry out to Him to save us, even as we know our destinies! You are going to go to us, then you, M. M., gather your strength, because it’s not 50 miles of travel, if you walk 20 miles a day, then for 2 weeks, and where you have to rest for half a day, God help you, and the weather is wonderful, 5 o’clock, it’s raining quietly, the grass is green. To all your like-minded mothers and to you, I wish you peace, health and salvation. April 20th. After what I sent to you yesterday, I have now received your letter. Thank God that although you are in weakness, you are in good spirits. It was comforting to read that the Lord has deigned you to help a poor family, but He accepts both your will and compassion for your neighbor, the latter is more important, for it is ours, otherwise it is not ours, but from outside us, however, may all of it be held together by humility and be strong. May the Lord bless your intention to travel and send you a peaceful, faithful angel, mentor and guardian of your souls and bodies, and Fr. I. The Lord announced to give you a horse with a man, this will make your path much easier. I advise you to walk at a quiet pace, so your legs won’t get tired and you won’t tire yourself out; You will walk 25 miles, or maybe 30, rest for half a day, where you find the best place. April 21, morning. I congratulate you, M.A., on your Angel’s day, and you, M.M., on your birthday, and, truly, you will share a meal of love together, may you be in good health, and see you off in peace. Yesterday N.N. came to us, complaining that there is no person, no one is the cause of our disorder, but they themselves are to blame. Although it is difficult to acquire a person, it is not impossible: seek and you will find, and even more so when we seek it with humility. I am sending you both a book of Abba Isaiah, read and receive the spiritual benefit, and pray for me, so that my word does not lie against my deeds. April 21. If you receive this letter before you leave, I want to tell you as a precaution how to walk: you need to walk more quietly, then you won’t get tired and you won’t hurt your legs, and as the proverb says: “The slower you go, the further you will go.” Yes, watch your shoes so that the shoes are softer to the sole, and instead of stockings you need to wrap your feet in soft rags from worn shirts, and not so fluffy, and that there is not a single wrinkle under the sole in these rags, otherwise it can rub your foot, perhaps you can put a stocking on top, and without rags the stocking with its roughness can rub your feet, that’s what I think I have experienced it and pass it on to you. With God's help, it seems to me that you can walk 25 miles a day, and sometimes more, and you need to rest. May 6th. I don’t know if you will receive my letter sent on May 3, but I received yours. Glory to God that you are at peace with each other and are preparing to set out, may the Lord send you a guardian angel to accompany you, preserve and strengthen you in your worthwhile work. July 28. Today is the third day after your departure, M.M. and others, I expect that you are now in O. Peaceful journey to you! My health is variable, I was always weak, and now I feel better. There are quite a few letters, but I don’t write much, I’m always busy in my cell and haven’t been to the hotel for two days. July 29. Now I feel some kind of relaxation, and something is neither this nor that, I’m lying there, I can’t or don’t want to take on anything. July 30. This morning is good, the weather is fine, but last days it was raining. How did you travel? Nowadays I feel better, but in those days I agreed with the weather. If the Lord blessed and helped you on your journey, then today you will reach S., and the monastery will greet you joyfully, and I greet you all. Peace be with you! Tomorrow is the day of the fast, and there is a saving fast, with which I congratulate you and wish you to spend it reverently and humbly, contrite in your heart for our sins, and may the Lord grant you to be partakers of the Most Pure Mysteries of Christ for the health of your soul and body. Our brothers bow to you and wish with me peace, health and salvation. July 31st. I have now received your letters. You, M.A., describe the grief you felt when you read about the disasters in the East of Christians, and it saddens us, but for us the providence of God is incomprehensible, He alone knows why He allows Christians to suffer, and we must revere His all-wise providence for all of His creation. There are many rumors that strike the heart in our fatherland, although it is not the sword that cuts the body, but destructive freethinking destroys souls and, like some kind of infection, spreads throughout the body of Russia. You, M.A., grieve over my ill health; now, thank God, I am healthy, but at times I feel weak, and there are quite a few visitors. August 1st. Fast. Having returned from our mass, while I have time, I took up my pen. Congratulations to all of you on the upcoming fast. I feel very weak today, I listened to mass with great effort, fortified myself with dill, and I feel lighter. The weather is good, but the soul is hungry without food, in the hustle and bustle there is no time to be nourished, otherwise there is weakness and infirmity. August 4th. I received your letters. You write, M.A., about M.N., who passed away with you, may the Lord rest her soul in the Kingdom of Heaven. And therefore, each of us needs to think about the hour of death, for we do not know at what time the thief will come (Matthew 24:33), and we live carelessly, we drown in vanity, we are overcome by passions, we only read, write and talk about humility on paper, but we do not have it as a guarantee, what shall we do? We have had enough of our visits, and I, a sinner, have had time to go everywhere, although I am often weak and weakened, and even worse, I forget my sins, but I treat people and make my way through, and M.M. got it for dinner. August 6th. I congratulate you all on this solemn holiday of the Transfiguration of the Lord, “may His everlasting light shine upon us sinners” and enlighten our souls. We had mass today. The morning is beautiful, and at night there was a short rain, but strong and watered the face of the earth, the plants came to life, otherwise there had been no rain for a long time. Mother Superior Belevskaya received a pectoral cross. May God grant that she does not cowardly bear the saving cross placed on us by the providence of God. Yesterday, during the all-night vigil, guests came to you, cartloads of thieves, but they managed to do nothing, there was a guard, and most importantly: if the Lord does not protect, the strict one will be in vain (Ps. 127:1). The pitiful state of N.N., seduced by the charm of the enemy, may the Lord not allow him to mock her, but give her a spirit of humility and tenderness. How long ago was she given the Holy Mysteries of Christ and unctioned with oil? These are the necessary means for her healing, of course, it would be necessary to take her to the saints of Christ Mitrofan and Tikhon, their prayers are great before God and are powerful to heal her. August 9th. There were quite a few guests, and V.M.I. arrived, calling to her, I don’t even know what to do anymore, I leave it to Fr. A. August 10. Thank God that you, M.M., and your fellow travelers arrived safely at your monastery; today I received your letter dated August 3rd. I’m very glad that you came, and you, M.A., waited for M.M. and met joyfully, and settled down to live peacefully and in harmony, God help you! Love and humility are strong to preserve your union in the Lord. I believe that it is pleasant and comforting to return to the monastery after a three-month wandering; in your monastery everything is familiar, and it is also a place of achievement towards the acquisition of salvation. August 12. Yesterday I couldn’t write anything to you, I’m completely out of time and I’m exhausted. The hotels are full, I am no longer there, but everything is with me, this matter is beyond my measure, and I am often afraid to give an answer to God for my unworthiness and that my name is higher than my deeds. August 14. Today I feel exhausted and very weak, I was with people all day, and there were two masses; there was the tonsure of K. and A., two brothers. I received a lot of letters, including yours. Your main matter is the tonsure of N.N. into the schema, which asks for my instructions about the rules that it must fulfill. It seems you have a brochure copied from us about schematic rules and life, read them to her, but now I can’t write anything, tell her that the Lord will not extract rules, especially from the sick and weak, but humility is always necessary, it will also make up for the lack of rules. What does humility consist of? Consider yourself the worst of everyone, don’t judge anyone, don’t grumble, etc. August 15. Today I feel better, but yesterday I could not attend the all-night vigil, I went out after the stichera, and slept well at night. I congratulate you on the current feast of the Dormition of the Blessed Virgin Mary. She, merciful Mother, “did not abandon the world in her dormition, and never fell asleep in her prayers for us,” let us pray to Her for the salvation of souls. She is “the shameless intercession of Christians, the immutable intercession to the Creator, and will not despise our prayers.” Tomorrow, if the Lord pleases and we are alive, I will go to B early. August 19. Yesterday I arrived home at eleven quarter. I received 18 letters, which I still haven’t read all of, now I’m all relaxed from the road and from fatigue, and now those coming from both sides are feeling cold. From your letters I see that after the first meeting of a friendly sisterly meeting, abuse again appears, arousing your passions and causing embarrassment. You cannot get rid of warfare, but just do not surrender your autocracy to the advice of the enemy, but drive him away from yourself by self-reproach. You read the books of your fathers, enjoy them, take advantage of their sweet teachings, do not be afraid of the frequency of the enemy’s battles, you will be more skillful from them, just do not rely on yourself and do not look at your friends’ weaknesses and sins: looking at them and listening In this way, our own people are forgotten. You write that N. has a sincere desire to follow my feeble-minded advice in everything; Yes, according to her faith, the Lord is strong and can enlighten my darkened mind, say what is for her benefit, but what do I know? It’s scary to hear about a seven-yard snake in our area, in hot climates, and there are more, but here it’s unheard of. What were the consequences of this, and did they kill him? Or where did he disappear to? Unknown. And as for God’s punishment, this is clearly for the deviations of many not only from Orthodoxy, but also from the faith, and this infection spreads throughout the entire body of humanity, however, there are also entire members. ABOUT! Lord grant that the holy seed may be preserved in His Church forever. August 20. M.M.K. is still with us and is very ill, Fr. P. has now gone to tell her Holy Mysteries. August 21. You write that you were honored to receive Holy Communion of Christ on the 11th, for which I congratulated you in my last letter. Glory to God that you have peace in yourself and in your cell, but you cannot consider that you have already experienced the unchangeable peace, have not yet overcome the passions, you must still be wary of excuses, but not be horrified, the struggle always lies ahead, and in it we recognize our dispensation and weakness, but when we humble ourselves, we will find help from God: let not all flesh boast before God (1 Cor. 1:29), and let us not put our trust in her. Yesterday I felt some kind of relaxation, and I did not attend the all-night vigil; today I got up well, but I felt some kind of weakness. August 22. Now I have conducted M.O. and I feel some kind of relaxation, but I have to do things and deal with people, which tires me, but there is nothing to do. August 23, morning. Yesterday I spent the day without any special incidents. M.M. is becoming very weak, although she goes out into another room and sits, but the signs are unreliable; apparently, the Lord is calling her to peace from her sorrowful life. We would now like to invite her to give herself special oil and again communicate the Holy Mysteries of Christ. Signs of water sickness, everyone asks to drink kvass, they give it little by little, but not enough for her. I wish all of you like-minded people peace, health and salvation. August 24. Having sent a letter to you yesterday, having had lunch and rested, I visited the sick M.M., who does not lie down, but rather sits and can get up, only she was very weak, and was thirsty, drinking kvass. We wanted to tell her the next day, that is, today, the Holy Mysteries of Christ and specially oil her. And so it was, oh. L. went to see Fr. A. to offer about this, but she grew weaker as time went on, and they decided to inform her immediately. O.P. came and reported it in the presence of her son. Having received the sacrament, she joyfully said: “I feel such joy and sweetness that I cannot express in any words.” After these words, she blessed her son. Here I came, read the funeral service (they wanted to take unction, but did not have time) and began to end with such quietness and calmness, several times, usually as the soul comes out, it breathed and then sighed more strongly, it seems, fell asleep in a peaceful eternal sleep and a little later two times it touched its shoulders, then they realized that its soul had been dissolved from the bonds of the mortal body, having flown off into the peaceful, spiritual world. Those present shed tears of joy and sadness. It was ¾ 5 o'clock in the afternoon. She died sitting, her face was so peaceful and calm, for the consolation of everyone, for this expressed the hope of her future blissful state, they immediately sang the canon for the departure of the soul. Her life was sorrowful, but her death was blessed. Tomorrow there will be a burial. M. M. arrived at the beginning of Lent, and it was necessary to go at the Matins of the Assumption, but she fell ill on the holiday, and died on the 23rd. August 25. Today was the burial of M.M., God grant her the Kingdom of Heaven and eternal peace! I can’t tell you anything special, the days are passing very quickly, and we are approaching death, it’s already been a month since you left us. August 27. Yesterday I didn’t write to you, I fell ill, and now I’m not entirely healthy. Peace to you all! Mnogohreshny I. M. August 29. I have no appetite and are not allowed to drink. It seems to me that with God’s help, there is nothing dangerous, don’t worry. In your letters you mention the patterns on the banners that you are compiling, but first you propose to work on carpets for us, God help you, and may He bless you for the glory of the Holy Name. You write a lot of things, but I won’t mention them all. I rejoice that the Mother of God visited your city in Her honest image and the grace of God will overshadow your city. I wish your embarrassment to end soon and continue to be careful in spiritual warfare: after being hurt, seek healing in humility, resorting to God and asking your neighbors for forgiveness. And about the rule for N.N., I wrote to you that I cannot give rules to anyone, I myself am in laziness, but, of course, for schema-monks we need a strict rule. If we rely on our own rules, and morality is not corrected, that is, humility, meekness, love, patience, generosity, then no rules will benefit us. But I do not reject the rules by this, but more strength is given to him. It seems that you have extracts about the schema rule. Rule, prayer, fasting and other deeds are like leaves, according to the word of St. Isaiah, and the spiritual virtues, about which it was said above, are fruit; they do not exist in fruit; what is the use of leaves? This is not my reasoning. I remain the sinful hieromonk Macarius. August 30, 1860. Thank God for calling you to His service. Keep this spark in your heart, and do not extinguish it with addiction to the world and its pleasures. Pray to God, but with humility! He accepts the prayer of the humble, and do not think that by praying you have done something great and do so in every matter. Love for God does not consist in prayer alone, but in the fulfillment of St. His commandments, which are especially commanded in the Gospel. Do not despair of being in the monastery, but ask God that His will be done with you. Don’t delve deeply into anything, but set aside time for everything: reading, prayer, handicrafts. Write to me about all your feelings, your letters should not be read by anyone, but send them sealed to me, this concerns your conscience, and it should not be bound. If you will not be with us soon, then ask your mother to let you go to the S-th monastery, take a look at the life of the monastery, there you can talk with Mother Superior and the sisters about your desire. Be peaceful and calm. I.M. February 10, 1849. I answer your two letters: thank God that He calls you to serve Himself and ask Him to grant you this calling and to strengthen you on this path. Do not suddenly climb to heaven, but act humbly, otherwise it is worse than all sins when pride and opinion possess you. When you ask your mother to fire you, she herself will thank God afterwards; my sister also S... didn’t let you in, but now she thanks God. I know that now you have no means with which to begin, but I hope that God will send you help in this, and when you have been in the world for a long time, is it really wise to become addicted to it again, and then, despising the calling of God, you cannot hope to have a calm conscience and be happy. Ask to visit the monastery and stay with M.P. there, and then you will see what needs to be done. I wish you peace, health and salvation. Congratulations on joining St. monastery, and on the joyful, highly solemn holiday of the Resurrection of Christ, thank His ineffable mercy that He called you to serve Him and tore you away from your carnally loving mother and sisters, and all this happened so unexpectedly and unexpectedly, you just have to marvel at the providence of God taking care of you. But don’t be arrogant and don’t think too much about yourself, as if you are worthy of this title. Remember that many are called, but few are chosen (Matthew 20:16), try to be worthy of the grace of election through obedience, humility, patience, meekness, love and prayer, consider yourself the last of all. For now, this instruction is enough for you, be grateful to M.P. that she accepted you to calm you down in her cell. May the Lord strengthen you, and may the Mother of God keep you under Her roof, I earnestly wish you. Many sinners and... Macarius. April 2nd. April 16. I congratulate you on meeting and spending the holiday with the face of virgins working for God! Thank Him and humble yourself, consider yourself the last of all, then the Lord will strengthen you and comfort you with spiritual joy. I received your letter dated March 30th and I see that you were preparing to dress in new clothes, through which your heart may be clothed in the bright robe of humility, peace and tranquility, which I fervently wish for you. I am heartily glad that the Lord consoles you with His mercy, and you love Him with all your heart and fulfill His holy commandments. And out of love for Him, if something sorrowful happens, we must accept and thank Him, because through many sorrows it is fitting for us to enter the Kingdom of God (Acts 14:22), and without His will nothing can happen to us (Matthew 10:30). May 28. Young ascetic! You mention the troubles between you and now you say that you are peaceful. You should know that our whole life is a spiritual battle, evil spirits try to disturb our passions and disrupt the peace between us, and you, having entered the field of this battle and being still in the rest of grace, as if on Tabor, thought: it is good for us to be here (Matthew 17:4), and believed that it will always be so, but this cannot be without conquering the passions and without acquiring humility and tranquility cannot be obtained. After the Tabor joy, the apostles saw the Lord on Golgotha ​​and on the cross, and we must always be ready to endure all kinds of sorrows that God will send us to our trial; without cases and battles it is impossible to learn art. Don't be discouraged and don't be afraid. The Lord, who called you, will teach and strengthen you in this feat. And you must have self-reproach in everything and avoid justification. I.M. August 9. I am not at all surprised, my daughter in spirit, at your boredom; just like each of us, you too must go through the fire of temptation in order to strengthen in us faith, hope and love for God. The Holy Fathers teach us that “every good deed is either preceded or followed by temptation, and without this it cannot be strong.” By the ineffable mercy of God, you were worthy of His title and came to St. the abode of virgins who work for the Lord, to make Him aware of their virginity, and to be forever worthy to enjoy His blessings in the future life. What will we repay to the Lord for all of these, even as He repays us?! But you need to know that between the title and the reward there is a large gap and field in which those called have feats and battles against invisible enemies who seek to stop us along this path with various sorrows, misfortunes and mental battles, but there is no need to be afraid, we have an Ascetic, the strongest of them - our Lord Jesus Christ; Let us not lose heart, but always call on His all-powerful help and use a reliable weapon against our enemies - humility. When you entered the monastery, you felt an inexplicable joy, but this was without your merits, deeds and labors, and only the grace of God comforted you like a baby with spiritual milk. But if this continued, then you would receive great harm to your soul, being deceived by this joy, you would fall into spiritual pride, remain unhealed in this delusion and would not be able to reconcile yourself. And the most merciful Lord has now allowed you to experience some sorrowful heat - boredom, will you remain faithful in His love? We do not find ourselves in the love of God when we accept only His consolations, but when sorrow allows us to become discouraged, decrepit and faint-hearted; no, then we show our love for God even more when we valiantly endure the sorrows that come our way and humble ourselves in them, considering ourselves worthy of it. From this, a person comes to great prosperity and, as he humbles himself, receives consolation from God, however, he should not seek it, but it will come on its own, especially when we consider ourselves unworthy of it. There is another reason for boredom - an addiction to your family and a long stay there. You miss N... and you think that you are the reason for her change, know that this enemy is giving you thoughts to tear you away from the love of God and, God forbid, to tear you out of the monastery. Perhaps you also thought a lot about yourself that you went to the monastery, and for all this the Lord allowed you to be tempted by this fire of sorrow, but all this will pass and light will shine again in your soul, just humble yourself and leave your addiction to your relatives, entrusting them to the providence of God, who cares about the salvation of us all. Remember that the Mother of God took you under Her protection on the day of the feast of her Annunciation. She will protect you, and you will often flow to her all-powerful protection and intercession. Be healthy and peaceful, live peacefully with M.P., respect her and calm her down, and with general calm it will be easier to drink. To strengthen you now and in the future, read from Macarius of Egypt in the 7th word, chapters 13, 14, 15, 16 and 17, very useful. I.M. September 10. May the Lord, ascetic of Christ, enlighten and strengthen you on the true path leading to eternal life! I received two of your letters. I see from them that you are preparing to enter the field of spiritual warfare, you are offered choir obedience, you agree and desire it, but you are waiting for my consent to this. Although sorrow cannot be avoided anywhere, it is more convenient to find it in the choir, just be prepared to bear it. But after all, all obedience is associated with sorrow, so that we learn patience, if you only accepted it as obedience, then it could be easier later, but here your desire or will for this is there, they warn you that you will not bear sorrow, but I cannot know this, I am afraid to give advice and strongly resist it. I'll think about it, then I'll write to you. The need for your vain voice is not so great, thank God, there is no need to sing, but everything goes as it should, to the glory of God, and don’t think that there was such a necessary need for you in the choir. The dream you saw should not confuse you; if it seems to you that the cross represents sorrow, then its lightness is immediately revealed. In any case, we must place our trust in God, without Him nothing unpleasant can happen to us, and whatever we wish to send to Him, we will receive from His hand with thanksgiving, and He is able to strengthen us. Thank God that you and M.P. are at peace, and I wish the same for you in the future. September 27. You write about your confusion and fear, which stem from cowardice, vanity and lack of fear of God. Having faith in God, we must also believe that He commanded His angels to preserve us in all our ways (Ps. 90:11). Just one thought frightens you and deprives you of peace, but you remain unharmed. Be calm! Have the fear of God and humility, and you will not be afraid from the fear of the night (Ps. 5); read Psalm 90 “Living in the help of the Highest” and don’t think too much about yourself, that you went to a monastery and did something great, God accepts from us everything that is humbly, but turns away from the proud. Learn to recognize your weakness in everything and humble yourself, you will be peaceful and calm. Blasphemous thoughts, it is known that pride is allowed to disturb and confuse people, then as much as possible, you must try to have humility in everything, and not judge anyone, and not to worry about them and consider them as nothing, for they are not yours. When you are embarrassed, the enemy will attack them more, and when you despise them, they will disappear. I.M. October 21. Help in the Lord, young V...! He called you to serve Him, and He will not leave you with His help. Do not be afraid from the fear of the night, nor from the flying arrow of the day (Ps. 90:5). The Lord is with you! With the love of the sweetest Jesus, conquer the love of the world and do not be deceived by its sweetness, everything will pass, everything here will pass and disappear, but our soul is immortal, and future blessings are eternal! Meanwhile, between the calling and the reward, there is a gap during which our love for God is tempted by nasty temptations, without which it cannot be known and be firm. The Holy Apostle teaches us: Rejoice when you fall into various temptations, for the temptation of your faith proves endurance (James 1:2, 3). Thank the Lord in everything! With sister N... spend your time peacefully, but do not get carried away with your mind towards peace. May the Lord guide you on the true path of salvation, I earnestly wish and remain I.M. November 4. You doubted in vain to entrust to paper the sorrows of your heart and what tormented your conscience. I received your letter, and after reading it I immediately destroyed it; you have nothing to fear. To this I will tell you: you judge incorrectly, blaming your orphanhood for not receiving a secular education and from unauthorized reading of books you indulged in empty dreams. We do not know the all-wise and loving fatherly providence of our merciful Master for us. Holy Scripture shows us that the Lord protects babies (Ps. 114:5) and that He is the orphan Helper and Patron (Ps. 9:35. 67:6), and could you have preserved your innocence hitherto, if not for the fatherly hand that preserved you, and did not allow you to fall into the abyss of vice in the outbursts of youthful ardor? this? And for this He showed His mercy over you, called you into the holy enclosure of the virgins working for Him, and in due time He will crown you with a crown of glory, only thank Him and strive to eradicate passions by doing holy work. His commandments, in which is love for God and neighbor, and with all this, acquire humility according to His sweetest verb: Learn from Me, for I am meek and humble in heart, and you will find peace in your souls (Matthew 11:29). But if you had taken the path of secular education, who knows whether you would not have been carried away by the free-thinking of the world into destructive unbelief and suffered greater punishment? The mind is very susceptible to being blinded by sensuality and always wants to follow the long path that leads to destruction, and many are those who walk on it, said the Lord, but the narrow and sorrowful path that leads to eternal life, not many choose, according to the word of the Lord, and few are those who walk on it (Matthew 7:14). Then it is doubtful whether you could choose this saving path, so you must thank the Lord, who preserved you and called you to serve Him. In the cases that have happened to you, bring repentance before God with your heart and lips and believe that you will receive forgiveness from Him who wants to save everyone and come to true understanding (1 Tim. 2:4). According to their explanation, in the face of my misery, be calm, but, remembering your sins, always have the feeling of a humble publican, because of this, even though you correct some virtue, you will neither be exalted in your heart, nor condemn anyone, and, having received forgiveness of your sins from God, you yourself must forgive those who have offended you. And exaltation, that is, pride, is so destructive that it casts you from the heights of virtues into the abyss of passions and vices, from which may the Lord deliver you, to whose omnipotent protection and intercession of the Mother of God, entrusting you, I remain the desire for your salvation. I.M. How cowardly you are! I was deeply upset that you had blasphemous thoughts against me, how can you forbid them to do so? This is not in our power. The enemy’s excuses are not our sin, but then when we accept them, talk with them and agree, then they can be considered a sin, and you not only did not agree with them, but even grieved that they came to your mind, thinking that you had already sinned. The enemy, seeing your cowardice, rejoiced at this and rebelled against you more, and you, on the contrary, are not at all to blame for this, be calm, and if you agreed to anything, then don’t worry about it, I forgive you. God bless the sisters that they strengthened you, they have heard in part and know that this is the machination of the enemy, bringing sorrow to you, but you be courageous, and nothing will happen. Live peacefully with M.P., try to cut off your will and reason as much as possible, from this you will become accustomed to it, and everything will calm you down, and even more so when you have self-reproach. I send you my blessing and wish you peace, health and salvation. Congratulations on the upcoming day of your Angel. Accept my sincere desire for you, may the Lord arrange your salvation and lead you into the heavenly chamber with the wise virgins, and you try to stock up on oil in the vessel of your heart, so that the lamp does not go out, I want the Bridegroom to come (Matthew 25:5). You know quite well what the oil and lamps mean; why didn’t the virgins come in, even though there were virgins too? Of course, due to the scarcity of good deeds, and most of all, they did not have humility and love, but when they are acquired, you learn every day and have lessons before your eyes. Pride most of all deprives people of good deeds and God’s help; where there is no light, there is darkness, and where there is no humility, there pride takes its place, from which may the Lord deliver you and all of us and grant from Him to learn humility and meekness, in which our souls will find peace (Matthew 11:29). The embarrassment you had with M.P. to the test of your dispensation and so that, having recognized your weakness, you humble yourself, reproach yourself and receive a morally good dispensation, putting down your pride, and forcibly strive against resentment and do not allow this enemy to have refuge in your heart, even if you had a thousand corrections, but this alone destroys them all. Humble yourself and consider yourself unworthy of the fact that this was not the will of God. February 2, 1850. I congratulate you on your birthday, thank the Lord, who made you worthy to spend your nineteen-year stay on earth, who preserved you in the Orthodox faith and, by indescribable goodness, worthy of your calling to serve Him and disgrace. Pray to Him, and the rest of your life will strengthen you to walk the path of His commandments, in the fence of the verbal sheep and brides of Christ. Watch yourself, consider yourself last above all others, humility will calm you down. For blessing on this day, accept the image of our Savior, who bore the lost sheep on His frame, and be grateful to His ineffable love for us. Love Him with all your heart and you will enter into the bride of Christ, into the palace of His glory with the wise virgins. May the most merciful Lord honor you with this, I earnestly wish. March 25. A year has already passed since you were honored to join St. monastery under the shelter and intercession of the Most Pure Virgin Mary on the day of the Feast of the Annunciation, joyful for all of us. Thank the Lord and His Most Pure Mother for Their great mercy and strength towards you throughout this year, and may they continue to help you walk the path of this life with reason and piety, in humility and chastity, patience and love. Try to have respect and love for M.P. and you will be peaceful and calm. Do not become weak in the spiritual battles you write about. April 10. I congratulate you on the approaching holiday of the Resurrection of Christ, may He grant you the honor to celebrate in good health, with heartfelt joy. Thank God that after the storm of passions that arose against you, you have now calmed down, may the Lord forgive you for the deviation of your thoughts and establish you on the rock of faith. Having accepted the temptation from this incident, henceforth be firm, call on the Lord and the Mother of God for help. I remain a wisher for your health and salvation. April 18. Young ascetic! Don’t be discouraged when some shocks happen to you, this is necessary in learning spiritual life, try to find guilt in yourself and do not blame any of your neighbors. As for your sisters, do not doubt them at all, although the enemy inflicts disturbing thoughts on them, but do not believe them, but rather explain yourself to them and it will pass. Likewise, be more peaceful towards M.P., and even more so, when she is confused, try to pacify her with self-reproach and humility. When abuse comes to you against N., do not hide it from M.P., and the Lord will grant you healing. Peace be with you! July 8. From your letters I see how much you suffered during this time. What is the reason for this? Our passions. We went to seek salvation, but how do we get it? By fulfilling the commandments of God, destroying the passions that lie within us and which we do not understand, when the opportunity opens, they arise like animals and torment us. Why are you calm now? Because there is no object that irritates passion, and at that time you were embarrassed and driven to madness. This should be a science for you, so as not to be enslaved by passions through feelings. We are obliged to love everyone, but with the purest love, calming us, and not causing confusion, otherwise it will be that we love the creature more than the Creator, whereas we must love our neighbor for the sake of God’s love. And you were carried away by partial, and not by true love, which St. Simeon the new Theologian prohibits in the 125th chapter, and other fathers. Ask God to grant you equal love for them, and that difference and partiality from the enemy, who cannot hide, bothers you and them. Pray to God and give Him your heart, be filled with love for Him and have peace with M.P. The Lord is able to protect you from the wiles of the enemy. Be peaceful and calm. August 15. I see from your letter that you receive consolation and sorrow alternately, and this means that you are on the true path of salvation. From both cases, bring benefit, from sorrows - humility and hope that you are standing on the path walked by the Savior Himself and all the saints, and bring thanks to the Lord, and through consolations, as through coolness from the heat, strengthen yourself even more in the hope of this eternal goodness and again thank the Lord. But do not want to always remain in a comforting position, this is not good for the soul, but surrender to the will of the Lord. He knows when to send you what. You say that you need to force yourself in order to have peace, but that’s what you need to force. Read from St. Macarius of Egypt in the first word of chapters 13 and 14, you will see that for compelling yourself to do good, God grants you to do it with peace. Why is it that our heart is stubborn towards good deeds? Because we have the guarantee of passions and the abuse of the enemy, they fight us with our own passions, and through the compulsion of passions they weaken with the help of God. Know that the cause of our sorrows is not people, but passions. Be calm and healthy. September 20. I believe that this letter will find you already in your God-saved monastery. And it’s time to get back into place after being distracted; you need to enter into yourself and work in the garden of your heart, destroying the thorns and thistles of passions and planting virtues: humility, meekness, patience, obedience, love, etc. - and pray for this; May the Lord help to eradicate passions and plant virtues, and may He send down the dew of His grace on them. He Himself said: without Me you can do nothing (John 15:5). The attractions you describe to unrelated thoughts and the perceived pleasures of worldly life came from the enemy’s slander, and you, out of inexperience, got carried away in them, but thank the Lord that you soon came to know vanity and charm. You only saw one pleasant side, but how many sorrows do the worldly endure? And it is impossible to count, but by the mercy of God, having been called to serve Him, you were delivered from these sorrows, although there are sorrows, but these are saving ones, to the knowledge of our weakness, to correction and salvation. You write that you get scolded when you think about M.P. and the sisters feel zeal and embarrassment. This is our feat: to recognize the enemy’s battles and resist them with the help of God, and when there is no battle, then you will not know anything about what you are, and you cannot humble yourself, and without humility you cannot be saved. The Lord commanded us to have love even for our enemies, and therefore we must try to pluck thorns from them and plant good seeds of patience, love, humility, meekness and other virtues, but this is acquired through a long time, feat, labor and the help of God. Don't be embarrassed and don't be discouraged! Entrusting you to His omnipotent protection and intercession of the Mother of God, I remain the desire for your health and salvation. November 18. You are in vain giving yourself over to despondency and boredom; who knows what will happen next? Whatever happens, everything is not without the will of God, to our test and how we accept it. If we do it with submission to the will of God, with self-reproach and humility, then it becomes easy and bearable, but if we do it with cowardice and indisposition, we burden ourselves. What is the benefit if we only eat sweet things and avert bitter things? Let him who understands understand! May the Lord enlighten you and rebuke you. January 2, 1851. I congratulate you on the upcoming New Year and wish you renewal of spirit and consolation in the spiritual turmoil that comes to you from the enemy. Be courageous and do not be faint-hearted, everything is transitory - both sorrowful and pleasant, and on the path to the Kingdom of Heaven we will find more sorrow, for through many sorrows it is fitting for us to enter the Kingdom of God (Acts 14:22). Sorrow is not from outside, but rather from our passions, with which we must fight like animals, with the help of God we can win victory and receive peace, just don’t be faint-hearted. February 4. Happy birthday to you. You have turned 20 years old, and it will soon be two years since the Lord called you to the monastery, to the community of virgins who work for the Lord and dedicated their virginity to Him. Be worthy, and you too, of entering the heavenly chamber of the Bridegroom of Christ, acquire oil in the vessel of your heart, and in all your deeds let humility and love be united, love elevates, and humility does not allow you to fall, this also requires patience in all the external and internal sorrows that God allows to test your faith. When you gain the first ones, that is, love and humility, then you will gain comfort and patience. It’s not a little strange for me that you go against yourself, admit that you would be calmer if you opened up about yourself to your sisters, but you can’t force yourself to do so. And the enemy also occupied you with anger at M.A. for the ... trip, are these feelings similar to Christian ones? Judge. Humility calms, but pride and anger deprive it. If you think that she is not the reason for this, but your unworthiness, then you will calm down. It is obvious that it was not God’s will for you to be in K..., but there will be time and you will visit. Seek the will of God in your deeds, and do not make up your own desire and will, blame yourself for not having love for M.P., for the Lord commanded to love your enemies. Love and humility, above all things, will save us. Spiritual warfare is tricky, the enemy is cunning and strong, and whoever arms himself with humility against him cannot stand against him for even a minute. But in order to acquire humility, a lot of work and attention is needed, because the enemy opposes this and does everything contrary to it. And how destructive resentment is, read from St. John Climacus, and Abba Dorotheus, and Zosima. May the Lord give you true reason and strengthen you in everything, I earnestly wish you. March 17, 1850. Believing that when you receive this letter you will already be in your monastery, I am writing to you; I have received all your letters. Glory to God, who helped you arrange all your affairs safely to your general peace, you are now free from the world and its affairs, you must work for the Lord, fighting and overthrowing passions with His all-powerful help. You see now how disastrous and dangerous it is for you to leave the monastery and set sail into the sea of ​​the world; warfare at home is not as dangerous as outside the monastery, there your will is exhausted and there is no one to strengthen you, if it were not for the Lord to help, you would not be able to save yourself from the waves of stormy flesh. And you also do not have humility, then this should humble you a lot and move you to thank the Lord for what you have preserved and what you have brought back to the monastery. Here, try not to think about what you have seen and heard, but stretch into what is before you, pursuing a good deed towards the victorious honor of chastity. Read the fatherly books about this battle of St. John Climacus, Mark the Ascetic, word to Nicholas the monk, St. Cassian about eight passionate thoughts, also Nil Sora about the same, and I believe in the Lord that He will strengthen you in this battle and that the Mother of God will save you and deliver you from the arrows of the enemy. I remain a wisher for your health and salvation. December 29. Congratulations on the upcoming day of your Angel. ABOUT! May the Lord grant you also to be chosen and a participant in both saints. M. in the kingdom of Christ. In memory of the fact that people do not enter the palace of the heavenly Bridegroom in dirty and unclean vestments, but even those who enter are thrown out, try to decorate your robe with purity, humility, love, patience, obedience, etc., and if you were worthy to acquire these virtues, then humility should be predominantly in them, as it strengthens the other face of the virtues, and if the work becomes weak virtues, then again humility alone intercedes for us before God, and virtues without humility will not help us, following the example of the Pharisee. I remain a wisher for your health and salvation. 1858 By your desire to preserve yourself in cutting off your will and not to fall away from the friendship of the sisters who love you, may the Lord help you. The struggle with passions is necessary for all of us, through it we are tempted and receive crowns, and in victory over our thoughts we come to humility and through repentance we heal our ulcers. Read your father’s books, and from them learn to live spiritually. Glory to God, it has already been 10 years since the Mother of God took you under Her roof and preserved you in everything, so in the future She will not leave you, trust in her intercession and try to please the Lord by fulfilling St. His commandments. I wish you peace, health and salvation. December 31, 1859. The year ends, and the day of your Angel is celebrated, beloved daughter and sister in the Lord! Congratulations on this. May the Lord bless you with many such people to celebrate in the future, imitating in the life of the saint of God, St. M., if not in the alms that she did, then in faith and humility and having a merciful heart for everyone and burning with love for everyone. And in the future, the Lord Himself will instruct you and grant you the light of true reason, just cleanse your spiritual eyes from the darkness of passions, and when they are healthy, your mind will also be enlightened. Most Reverend N.N. You say that you would like to live better, but there is no correction (and even worse, the hope for salvation is dark). If you wish, you need God’s help and at least a little of your assistance, and most of all humility, which alone is strong enough to save us; take care of this and test yourself every hour. You ask, do the sorrows that happen at home benefit you? No matter how much they are used, and they are very useful to those who accept them with intelligence, they expose our internal structure and contribute to its correction. If you fail to bear something, you must see your weakness and humble yourself before God and your neighbors, read from St. Simeon the New Theologian chapter 31, Mark the Ascetic chapter 209, St. Abba Dorotheus “Reproach yourself for the hedgehog” and conform your dispensation with this, recognizing your weakness, humble yourself. The short path for young people is not to trust their reason and cut off their will; whoever follows this path will soon comprehend humility. May the Lord give you true reason and hope in God’s mercy, and not in your own works, I earnestly wish you peace, health and salvation. Many-sinner Jer. Macarius. To your questions and perplexities, calling on the Lord, who is able to enlighten me, according to your faith for spiritual benefit, I answer: There is no doubt that God Himself has called you to monastic life, and in this be completely calm. Who would have given you the desire to leave the world with all its charms that seduce the senses, mind and heart, if not for the Lord, who wants to betroth you to His bride and grant you eternal salvation? And if you had despised this title, you would not have remained without an answer before God. Read from St. John Climacus in the 1st word, 20th section: “If “the king of the earth called us” and so on... This is fitting for our matter and will certify you to the title of God. Even in the 3rd word, in the 4th section: “When you feel the flame, run quickly, for you don’t know when it will go out and leave you in darkness.” From this you can know that if you continued to linger in the world, you could grow cold towards this life, which you prefer to worldly life. Also read from him in the 1st syllable, 5th section, with what intention one should enter a monastery, and, of course, you had one of these excuses, however, an unexpectedly fallen grain on the ground sometimes bears abundant fruit. So, you must be confident in the Lord’s undoubted calling of you to this path, but you need to know that there is a lot of distance between calling and election, in the same 5th division. It is said: “However, our good hero is waiting to see what the end of their course will be.” Although we have left the world, passions still have their guarantees in us, and therefore we must constantly struggle with them, with the help of God and the guidance of experienced people, not at all trusting our reason, cutting it off and our will, from this humility is born, according to the word of St. John Climacus, in the 4th word: “Humility is born from obedience” and so on, and when they want to follow their reason, then from it they reap the fruits not of peace, but of confusion. How can one give him faith when he is clouded by passions, and even more so by pride and conceit? And simply, when we want to know the will of God, how to act, read from St. John Climacus in the 26th word, 110th section. And how much more so in the matter of common salvation. Our mind and will are a copper wall between us and God, read about this from St. Abba Dorotheus “Don’t form your own mind.” Read in the life of Elder Paisius (second edition) on page 43: “Above all these it is proper” and so on, read from St. Simeon the New Theologian, in Theodore of Edessa, in Callistus and Ignatius chapters 14, 15 and in many others you will find that a path is necessary in self-denial to follow one’s will and reason. How much the demons envy those who follow this path, writes St. Theodore of Edessa in chapter 44, yes, you may have experienced this abuse. Since we have many different passions, there are many enemies of our salvation, and they fight us with them, and if we humbly fight, ask for God’s help, present our weakness before Him and reveal to those who help us in salvation, then we conveniently defeat them, and if we are defeated, then this should all the more humble us and reassure us in trusting in God’s mercy, and not in our own strengths and deeds. If we fight proudly and arrogantly, then we are overthrown. As for the fact that you see in others empty pursuits and their untruths, you condemn without being clear of the same. When you yourself are unclean from the same thing, then how can you condemn? We have God’s commandments for this, and in this we must begin not to do it, and even if you yourself were free from everything, you should not judge, for we do not know the providence of God when He will call them to repentance. Their untruth cannot harm you, even if it concerns you, it is God’s permission to test you. How would you know yourself if no one touched you and showed you what passions lie in you? And you, having recognized your weakness from this, will humble yourself. And this word of yours: “Sometimes, when you humble yourself in front of one, you lose yourself in the opinions of others,” seems strange to me and full of self-love and pride. We must learn about this in order to consider ourselves the last, then what need is it that someone will think badly of you, and you will be favorable before God, for God looks upon humility, and if you apply yourself to the opinions of people, then you must leave God’s commandment about humility and care about man-pleasing and so that people respect you. Leave worry about this and follow the path of dissolved humility, and then you will find peace. I congratulate you on the upcoming New Year, I wish you to be renewed in your mind to the knowledge of the truth and have trust in salvation through the mercy of God, to be firm in your will, without looking back. Thank the Lord that I arrived safely to my family and found peace in their circle. Of course, this is rest, but there cannot be lasting peace; it is acquired when, having been in battle with invisible enemies, with the help of God we defeat them, purge our passions and humble ourselves, then there will be true and lasting peace. How will you enter this fight outside the militia? Combat is dangerous. And among those at war in this battle we can learn, falling and rising, being conquered and winning, until we humble ourselves, then we will receive a victorious crown from the Hero of Christ. When your thought has changed to settle yourself in B... and you feel coldness and fear about M.T.’s death, then I do not force you. I approve of your opinion of returning to S..., since you already know the family or way of life of the S. sisters and all the customs and rules, and church singing, you just need to think about where and with whom to place yourself in the cell? Although I know everyone about how you write, I cannot know with whom you can bear it. M... and M... are known to you, and I do not refute your opinion, but on what basis will you live with them? By your own will or to depend on them? I also don’t know whether you can carry them, and they you, or whether it would be better to hire someone for a while and live separately with your own household, and in the meantime you can have your own cell. However, when you visit there yourself and consult with Mother Superior, perhaps you will find a comfortable shelter, which I earnestly wish for you. I wish for your health and salvation, a sinner I am heartily glad that you are again in your native monastery, where you were called by God in the beginning. May He, the Queen of Heavenly Mother of God, keep you under His roof and help you strive in the field of spiritual warfare and, having conquered passions, receive peace and eternal salvation. Be peaceful, healthy and calm, which is what I earnestly wish for you. At the first step, temptation followed you, but you should not be horrified by this, but be even more affirmed that it is God’s will for you to live in S., where you were called before. May God grant that your life with M... be in peace and harmony in the Lord, and in the event of any struggles, you need to recognize your weakness and humble yourself, explain yourself to each other without self-justification, then the confusion will soon end, and even more so if each of you considers yourself the last and worst sister. May the Lord give you peace, which I earnestly wish for you, many sinners I am sending you the book of St. Barsanuphia, feed your soul with this spiritual food. I am heartily sorry for you that you are so discouraged and despair of your salvation. If you don’t see things in yourself that would give you hope for salvation, then humble yourself and place your hope in our Lord Jesus Christ, who was crucified on the cross and washed away the sins of the whole world with His most pure blood, and have hope in His mercy, He also suffered for your sins. Without His merits, none of our deeds or sufferings will help us, but even without humility, deeds will not bring any benefit, and humility saves us even without deeds. You must notice in yourself whether there is pride, for there is despair, but according to the teaching of St. fathers, is the fruit of pride, try to reject it from yourself. Spiritual warfare will calm us down in every place, but humility teaches us how to resist it and alleviate it. Although the food in the book of St. seems tasteless to you. Barsanuphius, but read it, and the further you read, the more you will find benefits and concepts; at first it is dry for you, and then you will find taste. I remain the desirer of your health and salvation, a great sinner. Don’t be surprised that I write to you without receiving your letter, but volunteer myself. M. M. told me your lines to her. It both surprises and saddens me what a false view you have of the monastery and say that with God’s help you are convinced that the monastery is nothing more than a grave, and whether it is covered with fragrant flowers or burdock, it is indifferent. But I never thought that you would think so about the monastery, and you also think that with God’s help you were convinced. You seem to have read your father’s books quite a bit and even copied them. Where did you find such a conviction? No, I believe that you are completely contrary to God’s help because of the enemy’s suggestion falling on your feelings and mind, not trained in spiritual warfare and alien to the spiritual mind. The Lord said: My yoke is good and My burden is light (Matthew 11:30.) To whom is this? For those who will, it is both good and easy, but for those who do not will, the path is hard and sad. I will also say, as if the monastery is a coffin and grave for the old man and passions, and for the soul and virtue - resurrection and peace. Where is it better and more convenient to fulfill God’s commandment: learn from Me, for I am meek and humble in heart, and find peace for your soul (Matthew 11:29), if not in a monastery? For in the world this virtue is inaccessible and almost unknown. Do you understand that there is a means to get rid of passions and find peace? And this depends on our will, action and God’s help. What use do we have of the teaching of St. fathers? So that, by learning from them, we can learn about our passions and weaknesses and with whom we are fighting, what weapon to use and how to fight our enemies, and not just live in a monastery, wear black clothes and languish, considering the monastery a stuffy grave. The Holy Fathers liken the monastery to an earthly paradise and a prosperous vertograd (Theoliptus Mitr. in Part II of the Good. p. 46), and the monastic rank is likened to a high-leaved, most fruitful tree, the root of which is alienation from all bodily things, the branches are the impartiality of the soul and not a single one has assimilation (attachment) of things, theirs has departed, and the fruit is virtues: acquisition and idolizing love and unstoppable joy from these. Nikifor of Astrakhan writes in his first word to the nun: “Why do monks run away from the world and move away from society? Why do they hide in the desert and imprison themselves in monasteries? Do they fast daily, do they watch daily, do they kneel daily? Prayer is their work, obedience is an exercise, humility is their care, they are adorned with love, they are nourished by reading, they are drunk with tears, dejection is their daily lesson. But what is their end? What is their purpose? A lofty and glorious goal, a wonderful and highly-desired end, they are with the apostle. They want to live like Paul, let them no longer live, but let Christ live in them (Galatians 2:20); they want to always be prosperous in union with Jesus Christ, and this is their goal.” In the 2nd word: “God created two people and left them in paradise, so that they could lead a passionless and sinless life. When God descended to earth, he ordained monastic life, so that people could again live here on earth a life similar to that which their ancestors lived in paradise. The monastery is a paradise, and therefore it is a place of prayer and praise and other pleasing correction. The brethren who are in Christ are Angels, because they accept a life similar to the life of an angel, and the abbot of the monastery takes the place of God. Consequently, the obedience that monastics show to their superior relates to God.” From a lot of things I wrote to you, but it seems enough to convince you of your false opinion about the monastery, that it is a stuffy grave. Paki says that you look at S. with neither dark nor bright, but indifferent eyes. Further: and where is the path, closer to C - a? I’ll say again that it’s cramped for those who don’t want to, more than 300 people live there, but it’s not cramped for everyone, but there are people whom the Lord comforts according to their will and the amount of humility they have. It is noticeable that you mourn for the B. monastery, calling it an earthly paradise. Why don't you live in it? Now it should be even better, because the late N.B., out of her kindness (she will undoubtedly inherit the Kingdom of Heaven) and condescension, did not go into detail into the internal structure and order, and therefore a lot of disorder crept in. After her death, all this was found out and revealed; the present M.N. is quite smart, she must take measures to improve all this, and, consequently, to the most convenient means of salvation. Perhaps my question will seem strange to you, why don’t you live there, because I know the reason for your leaving this monastery - unworldliness. Isn’t it possible to live in a special cell? But this is just my question, and I don’t convince and I’m afraid to give advice without your own free will. Take a better look at yourself, if your heart strives there, but you are afraid of N.N., and even more so now under her power, then it seems that if you live in a special cell and behave carefully, you will not have occasions to be unpeaceful from her. However, let this be completely in your will, and not forced. So, I wish you a peaceful dispensation there or in B., may the Lord guide you and confirm your heart in His will. I remain the desire for your salvation Having read your letter, I also regret your pitiful state of affairs, that you consider life painful for yourself both in the monastery and in the world. The Lord created you not for crying, but for joy, but we ourselves are the reason that we poison the days of our life with pride. You went to the monastery not under compulsion, but by the call of God, with your own desire. But we have passions that came from Adam’s crime, which disturb us with their chills and crush our invisible enemies. Which passions are more harmful to us, you can learn about this from the teachings of St. fathers, and especially St. John of the Climacus, which you not only read more than once, but also copied. In response to your letter from B-a, I wrote to you quite clearly against the doubts that you had, but I don’t know how you accepted them. Now I will tell you again, our Lord Jesus Christ has given us peace: peace I give to you, My peace I leave with you (John 14:27). This peace is the tranquility of our passions, the destruction of which we must always strive and strive for, and with God’s help we can obtain freedom from them and calm down. As in the life of St. fathers, and in their teachings, you see that many, having overcome passions, acquired virtues and received salvation, then this field is open to you. Read books, seeing your passions and, resisting the action of them, call on God’s help, recognize your weakness, and although you cannot overcome any passion on your own, then, seeing your weakness, humble yourself and calm down, and there is no need to be embarrassed and despair. You remember that I wrote to you that despair is the fruit of pride, and you realize that you are filled with it, so you should know that it is this that poisons your whole life with grief. If we delve into it in detail, we will find that all our sinful falls, that is, the actions of the passions, come from it. St. John Climacus writes that where the fall followed, pride preceded it. Try to become self-reproachful against it, seeing your failures to correct, and when correcting something, remember that the Lord commanded: if you do all that is commanded, say, “For we are unimpeachable servants; And it’s a wonderful thing that the very virtues do not benefit us without humility, but humility alone intercedes for us before God (Cal. and Ignatius, ch. 43.), so that through it we can find peace for our souls according to the word of the Lord: learn from Me, for I am meek, etc. (Matthew 11:29). Read the words of the Climacus about pride and humility and learn to remove the first from your heart and plant the other. In dealing with people, you can know yourself when you pay attention to your own shortcomings, and not theirs, considering yourself the last of all, and everyone’s best, and in the event of an insult to you, with such preparation you can bear it more comfortably and take advantage of it, tearing out passion. Remember the commandment about love and try to acquire it. We are commanded to love not only each other, but also our enemies, and we can do all this when dealing with our neighbors, or, having recognized our weakness, we will humble ourselves. And love itself is not accomplished without humility: the first elevates, and the last does not fall, as St. John of the Climacus writes. When you do this, then your life in S. will brighten up for you and the monastery will not seem like a grave to you, but like a paradise. I won’t tell you about God, you know life there and the present situation, let’s leave this to the providence of God, who cares about the salvation of his verbal flock. May the Lord enlighten you and let you know the true path, find peace of mind and salvation of the soul, which I earnestly wish for you, a great sinner. The most convenient way to gain humility is obedience with the rejection of one’s will and mind, but since I have not found it, then at least one must have a mother or sister for advice and questioning with faith, upon notification. God bless you for accepting my advice, which I offer you out of true zeal, and for realizing that you have pride, the offspring of which are despair and blasphemous thoughts. Try by all means to acquire the opposite of pride - humility, and how it is acquired, learn in the books of St. fathers, constant self-reproach is the closest path to it. You cannot drive away a blasphemous thought on your own; it is not yours, but the enemy’s. Be sure that you are blaspheming her, but the enemy, what do you care about that? Be calm and do not consider it as your sin, in this way you can drive it away, and when you try to drive it away and are embarrassed, then you will create more of an enemy for yourself, but do not judge anyone and do not think much about yourself, do not consider yourself better than others, then your thoughts will go away. That is why I suggested that you have revelation or advice, not trusting your mind, so as not to accept what is true as a lie and not be deceived, and when you cannot do this, then be smart yourself and learn from what brings us more to humility and shows vile pride and the harm that comes from it. Living peacefully with M..., thank God, and in the future, whatever happens, surrender to His will. I rejoice for you that you are in the refuge of salvation, in St. monastery, but I also regret your suffocation, as you put it. Look for the reasons for it in you and, with God’s help, try to uproot harmful growths from the soil of your heart, and which ones exactly, when you carefully monitor yourself, you will see them in any case. Of course, the main one of all is the root of pride, you yourself confess to it: establish the opposite of humility, not only in word, but also in deed, striving in self-reproach, when you feel the movement of the heart when rebuked or reproached by someone, and in general in everything: from this passions weaken and over time completely disappear, and the doer receives the fruit - peace of mind and tranquility. Even in the very boredom that you complain about, you must resort to self-reproach and humility, that you are unworthy of peace for your negligence and pride, then in this you will have peace, and neglect in it multiplies it even more. Read the books carefully, and you will learn from them that we ourselves are to blame for our misfortunes, you will find healing for yourself in humility and how to acquire it. Make yourself feel worse than everyone else. May the Lord guide you and strengthen you by giving you the help that I earnestly wish for you. Mnogohreshny I.I. Congratulations on your new place of residence. Now there is a completely new way of life for you: freedom and doing business. But look, see that this freedom serves you to fulfill God’s commandments in your household, even if it’s a small one, and there may be cases that show you your weakness and your structure when you encounter some opposition that will not be done according to you, and also when you interact with your sisters, your structure can be exposed when you pay heed to your salvation and care about acquiring humility - the destroyer of all passions, and even more than pride, to which you are not a stranger, you yourself know about it, then you need to establish the opposite of humility. Wherever you live, the struggle with passions is necessary, for the deposit of them is stored in us, and we must take care to destroy them, but how do we recognize them? Then, as others show us, they reproach us, reproach us, or in some other way. And you, reading the books of St. fathers, learn that you have passions, how to resist them and how to eradicate them, for all of this you need God’s help. K M. try to have a peaceful pledge and destroy resentment. Even if you were offended by her, you convince yourself that she accepted you and calmed you down, and force yourself to consider her better than yourself and find fault in yourself, this work of the heart is not visible to anyone, but God sees it and calms those who strive, and when, on the contrary, you accept some reproachful thoughts and justify yourself, then you will only increase your anxiety and you will have resentment stuck in your heart like a nail, from which yes The Lord will deliver you. Pray for her, as you and she fight against the common enemy to resent and reproach each other, and self-reproach and humility abolish his intrigues. May the Lord bless you for the feat of spiritual life. I remain a wisher for your health and salvation. You write that your strength has weakened from long service, and you thought that our work was in vain, for it is not enough to atone for sins, and yet there is no strength to aggravate it, and so life seemed hard to you, and death was terrible, and you regretted that you did not die when your soul was pure and free from the passions that now dominate it. This thought of yours is wrong, read the word of God and the teaching of St. fathers, you will find many and different paths to salvation - the publican, the harlot, the prodigal son, the thief and others. How did they escape? Try to acquire even the smallest amount of publican’s gold and you will be saved. “Humble yourself and the Lord will save me,” says St. David (Ps. 114:5), God will not despise a contrite and humble heart (Ps. 51:19). You will find many examples in the life and teaching of St. fathers, that sins are atone for not only by our deeds, but even more so when we are powerless to fulfill them, and most importantly, we must have firm hope that the suffering of our Lord Jesus Christ atones for the sins of those who repent humbly, and without the merits of our Savior, no deeds of ours can help us. Do you not have the strength to intensify your deeds to atone for sins? You have the opportunity to humble yourself, and humility forgives all sins besides deeds (St. Isaac ff. 46), and also frees you from the slavery of the passions, which, you say, dominate you, and even more so pride, for it is the root of all passions; not to consider people guilty, but the passion stirred in you by the conviction. Although not suddenly, but with your good will and constant self-reproach, the passion of pride will weaken and humility will triumph. Oh, how blessed are those who have united with this queen of virtues! I’ll tell you briefly, and you yourself read St. Fathers' writings on humility: St. John Climacus lyrics. 25, in Nil Sorsky's superscript, the end of it, in Gregory of Sinaite 115, 117 chapters, in St. You will find a lot of Isaac, at St. Barsanuphius also try to imitate them in strength, then you will receive peace. The fact that you do not have relief of conscience after confession and communion of the Holy Mysteries also comes from a lack of humility: you think to approach as worthy or with embarrassment because you confessed incorrectly, although you said everything - that is why you do not receive peace, and you recognize yourself as completely unworthy, although you confess all your sins, but have hope in God’s mercy, for He came to save sinners. And what did not die when your soul was pure is not our business to argue: the will of God is above us. I wish you to find peace and tranquility. Glory to God that you were honored to be a partaker of the Most Pure Mysteries of Christ and received peace of mind. You say that it is rarely given to you for your sins, sins are sins, but the cure for them is repentance, and peace is given to sinners, but to the humble and repentant, but there is something else that deprives us of peace. This is pride, the possession of which or the possession of it by you, you yourself do not deny, so turn all your attention to it, at all times and in any case, reject its dominance with self-awareness and self-reproach. Thank God for visiting you with illness; He is able to give you healing. Your fascination with the thought that, living in a small cell, you considered yourself to have abandoned everything and, as it were, seeking a reward, the Lord corrected and gave you the feeling from hearing the stichera “the winter is bitter, but paradise is sweet,” that, having abandoned everything imaginary, they did not abandon passions, this knowledge is enough for you for now. Think about what awaits you in the world? Are there such sorrows, and yet without true assurance of God’s providence? You are now in the school of faith and are learning from experience. Do not be surprised that during the service various thoughts come to you; when you take up arms against your enemies, that is, prayer, then they also arm themselves against you with stronger by-catch thoughts. Run to the Lord in prayer against them and do not be embarrassed: they will disappear, and when you are embarrassed, seeing that they do not leave you, then you arm them more against yourself, and when you stand humbly and cry out to God against them, then you will calm down, read from St. John Climacus in the 4th word, ch. 92 and 118, from which we can receive benefit and strengthening. St. also has it. Barsanuphius the Great’s answer about the thoughts that weigh you down during prayer, how to resist them and restrain yourself, and even in the last prayer say: forgive, Lord, and He forgives the sin of soaring. Read the answer 426 and 443. To M.F., try to destroy in yourself the deposit of enmity and resentment, reproaching yourself, not her, and forgetting what is behind, you must stretch to what is before by fulfilling the commandments of God, and repent for failure to fulfill them. When you find in yourself some part of malice, then how can you care about prayer without thoughts? And how will you say to God: forgive us our debts, just as we forgive our debtors (Matthew 6:12), when you do not forgive them? If you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive you your sins (Matthew 6:15), the Lord commanded. Try to look more closely at your sins and shortcomings, and don’t test or think about others, so that you can recognize someone from their appearance, this is only akin to those who have been cleansed of passions. May the Lord enlighten you, humble yourself and find peace. I have long wanted to write to you, but lack of time or weakness did not allow me. In your letter you express the work of life and your weakness and powerlessness. Having lived in a monastery, you could learn from reading St. the fathers of the scriptures, from spiritual conversation and through communication, from our own experience, from which life seems difficult to us: it is clearly visible that our passions, and even more so pride, cause us work. You know that the healing of these mental ailments are the commandments of God, which we always have occasion to fulfill when dealing with our neighbors: the annoyances, reproaches, and reproaches that come from others serve as a denunciation of our dispensation and are sent by God’s watch for our benefit, so that when we are indignant, we would recognize our poor dispensation and would humble ourselves, reproaching ourselves for the embarrassment through which the beginning is based to eradicate passions. But it is impossible that they can be healed soon, and as we try, we must accept them with self-reproach and humility. Looking at the commandments of God, commanding us to love even our enemies, and seeing how far we are still from fulfilling them, we should consider people who insult us as our benefactors, and not reproach them, even if they attacked us incorrectly, for God allowed it to be so for our spiritual benefit, consider the indignation of your heart as a spiritual illness, and their annoying words as medicine, and, in time, forcing yourself, you will receive help God's I advise you to read St. fathers of teaching: St. Mark of the Ascetic, St. John Climacus, St. Abba Dorotheus, Rev. Zosima's conversation, St. Simeon the New Theologian, Rev. Theodora Studita, Rev. Macarius of Egypt, and especially the 1st word, ch. 13, 14, and others: you will find strength and consolation in them. There is also much in the life of Elder Paisius for our admonition and strengthening in spiritual warfare, and our strongest weapon in this battle is humility. We must be sure that it is not sorrows, not people, that are the cause of our trouble, but we ourselves, for to him who loves God all things work out for good (Rom. 8:28). According to the teachings of the fathers, it is good to have a non-delusional mentor and to direct your life by cutting off your will and reason, as St. writes. Callistus in chapters 14 and 15, citing the teaching of St. John of the Climacus, but when you have not found this path, then although you need to have one of the sisters in spirit, in order to trust yourself with faith and accept advice for the benefit of the soul also with faith, and this can greatly facilitate your life. How do you think we can do without sorrow, when Holy Scripture teaches us that through many sorrows we must enter into the Kingdom of God (Acts 14:22), and the long path leads to destruction, and the sorrowful one to eternal life? Whether we like it or not, sorrows are sent, for they are saving; and God does this out of His love for us, takes us away from the broad and puts us on a regrettable path. And worldly people bear sorrows, and even heavier than ours. We care only about ourselves and our souls, while they are bound by the bonds of marriage and have children. And in what straits and unbearable sorrows there are! Although sometimes a ray of imaginary happiness appears for them, they still find clouds of sorrows, and all this is the providence of God, arranging our salvation. So, accept the confirmation that the cause of our sorrows is our dispensation, i.e. passions, and the main one is pride, from which others also torment us mercilessly, and try to acquire humility in all your affairs and in every case, read spiritual books with humility and you will receive admonition and strengthening from the Lord, and you will follow the true path of salvation, which you will find by the grace of God, which I fervently wish for you. Many sinners and... M. Having read your letter, I sincerely regret you, seeing your restlessness, you yourself understand the reason for this and expressed it in your letter twice: “It is difficult to describe everything that filled my proud soul..., we have only sorrow, and the reward is unknown, although sorrow from pride is wrong, but still sorrow.” You see how pride consumes and oppresses a person’s heart. Through the insult from your sisters, which you yourself call completely empty, the thorn of insult has stuck so deeply into your heart that for a whole week you cannot pull it out. Don’t you see that this comes from your proud dispensation, according to your word. God, wanting your correction and salvation, carefully allowed this incident to happen, you had a guarantee of pride, you did not see it, chance showed you how she moved, and instead of showing wisdom, with the help of God, resisting her with self-reproach and humility, you used the opposite action, did they put this passion in you? No, she lay there, and through them, by the sight of God, she was convicted. Just self-reproach and explanation would clear your heart of the thorn, or, as St. writes. John Climacus, from "a nail driven into the heart", and St. Simeon the New Theologian calls it “poison poured into the heart from the ancient serpent.” Read from St. Simeon ch. 31, in Mark the Ascetic ch. 209, you also have other spiritual books, read them and the teachings of St. use your fathers. Saint Climacus writes about pride, read this. And about humility, acquire this, and destroy the first, there is a remedy there and how harmful it is, also read St. Barsanuphia, you will find a lot of useful things, and cases will be medicines for your healing. Do not think that I justify the sisters, and I am not in bondage and am not attracting you to them, but if you have received any benefit from their community, then you know this, and it is completely in your will to have community with them or not, but it is impossible to guard against such cases, but you must accept them for your own benefit from every person, and not to trust your own reason, no matter how supposedly smart we are, for Holy Scripture says: think that It is news that is nothing, and it is news that is not news (1 Cor. 8:2). Where to look for peace? The Lord Himself showed us this: learn from Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls (Matthew 11:29). When accusing oneself, the effect of pride will be abolished, and when accusing others, it will increase, and with it sorrow. Who is to blame for this? We. Read in 51 words of St. Isaac, what troubles befall those who do not reproach themselves, but others, and in the 79th word, what befalls the proud and how they are healed. May the Lord enlighten you and strengthen you, which I earnestly wish for you, O great sinner. M. One word forgive with the consciousness of the heart burns enemies and grants peace. Having received your letter, I step out of the circle of my assumption to leave correspondence. Out of regret for your pitiful mental state, I am writing to you, wishing, with the help of God, to give you advice to strengthen and comfort you. You say that I left you in prayer, and therefore you are not weakened in the constant struggle of your passions, and that the enemy offends you, seeing that there is no one in your defense. Although I am a sinner, I pray for you, and this requires both your faith and diligence in confronting passions. “The passions do not replace one another, but they all dominate you,” I understand that you have passions, but passions cannot dominate us when we resist them and call on God’s help to them. What strengthens our passions and gives them victory over us is our self-esteem and pride. These are the ones you must arm yourself against and resist them, then others can be easily defeated. When we fall through some kind of passion, then pride clearly preceded this fall, according to the word of St. Climacus. Therefore, most of all, you need to learn humility, and how to acquire it, read in the teaching of St. fathers: Climacus, Abba Dorotheus, Simeon, Isaac and others, after reading it must be shown in action. There is no need to reject accusations of right or wrong, but to suffer humiliation from your neighbors; you need to look at your own sins, and not those of others, and not judge them. But as it is clear from your consciousness that you do everything contrary to it, you are punished by your own passions, which have copulated on you and tormented you, even leading you to despair and depriving you of hope of salvation. But let not the enemy mock you, but by the power of the Lord, let his machinations be abolished, and you receive the hope of salvation, for which the Lord called you to this calling. Read about vanity and pride, how destructive they are, and about humility - how saving it is. Be the first to manifest yourself, and follow the last with all your strength. Seeing your weaknesses and failures, instead of reproaching yourself, humble yourself and repent, you become embarrassed and despair. You are bored by your loneliness, you want to have a sister in spirit, but how difficult it is to find it, how much heroism and labor must be endured to bear her infirmities! None of us are perfect. Pray to the Lord for this, and if He sees good for you, then He is able to send it. You partly experienced, but could not bear it, and in the future, if the Lord gives you a sister, then, for your spiritual benefit, do not torture her for corrections, but look at your weaknesses and heal them with self-reproach, otherwise there can be no benefit. Until now, I do not mean sisters of such a dispensation with whom you could come together for life in spirit, but in the meantime, benefit from those living with you and from other monastic sisters who have a conflict in any cases, recognize your weaknesses from their wounds and consider them sent from God to expose your passion and to heal it, and do not blame them. In all this, it takes compulsion, a lot of work and time for the passions to be healed, but there is no need to despair and consider yourself incurable. And the fact that you do not like to admit your weaknesses, although you know them behind you, is obvious pride, and all your disasters come from it. When you humble yourself, you will find peace, according to the word of the Lord. I cannot give the correct meaning to the dream you saw, but it seems that this is the action of a proud dispensation, there is no need to be embarrassed, but to humble yourself. You yourself know that if you act on passions and don’t cut them off, you suffer hellish torment. You know the means to get rid of this and force yourself to do it. May the Lord bless you, strengthen you and comfort you. I remain the desirer of your salvation, a great sinner and... M. From your letter I see that you are extremely saddened by the false words spoken to you. If this were all true, then it would truly be worth grieving, but since you do not see this in yourself, then your very conscience should be your consolation. Well, if everyone spoke well about you, then you too would be seduced by this echo and would suffer no small harm. After all, the Lord said: woe when all men speak good things to you, and, on the contrary, He promised bliss when they speak every evil word against you who lie to me for my sake (Matthew 5:11). The benefit from this incident is that you did not suffer reproach, you recognize your weakness and, having reproached yourself, you humble yourself, and with humility, not only visible, but also invisible enemies are defeated. An unpeaceful feeling has sunk into you for it, and that’s a sin, so try to pluck out this evil and harmful thorn from your heart, and if you find any more (of course, it won’t be hidden with careful research), then pluck it out as well, and even more so when you notice pride, resist it, it’s all the troubles that come from it, I’ve written and told you a lot about it. But to go crazy, this is not true. The sisters have been well disposed towards you until now, and it is up to you to have goodwill towards them in the Lord. Be healthy, peaceful and calm, which is what your zealous and many-sinful wish is for you. M. Thank God that you returned safely to the monastery from worldly noise and rumor. Although the meeting with relatives was pleasant, it is fragile and does not bring spiritual fruit, and in the monastery, as in the field appointed by God for you, you gain spiritual fruit through the very sorrows and perplexities, although we do not see it, but time will show that involuntary sorrows are very necessary and useful for us, for through them we come to true reason and humility, about which we have much evidence in the writings of St. fathers, of whom, if you take the trouble to practice, you will become convinced. About the purchase of X.N.’s cell, I can only tell you: pray to the Lord, may he give you true reason and arrange what is useful for you, and when you have a peaceful feeling towards the purchase, also consult with those who are closer to you, and they will confirm this feeling: then you can get down to business, otherwise there is no need to take risks. I sincerely regret your family circumstances and quarrels with those close to your heart, for they are harmful and sinful in the soul, and tiresome in spirit and body. The outcome is tricky and difficult, but from God everything is possible – and what seems impossible to us. And therefore, on your part, it is necessary to sincerely acknowledge that you are guilty before your mother. With words, thoughts and feelings you could be guilty before her and with this consciousness Do not judge her actions in advance, but pray to the Lord for her, and may He bring good things to you for all of you. God, in vain, your repentance and humility will apply her heart to motherly love for you or in some other way will work for your peace, and when you are carried away into grumbling and condemnation, you multiply hostility even more. God sees the disposition of our hearts. I ask for God's peace and blessing on you and... M. I am sincerely glad that the Lord has given you shelter - his cell; God grant that this may be completely established for you. The place is good and the cell is comfortable, all that remains for you, thanking God, is to do in the garden of your heart: pluck out the tares, flavor the earth and plant the good fruits of virtues. And for all this, how to do it, you have abundant instruction - the writings of St. fathers. Read them, apply them to yourself, and try to implement them. When you fulfill it, humble yourself, take it to God’s help, and when you fail to fulfill it, recognize your weakness and humble yourself even more, and you will receive God’s help. Look at people as God’s Angels and consider them better than you, even if it doesn’t seem so, God is the judge for them, not us. He is always ready to forgive when we repent, but we see only the obvious inclination of our neighbors and do not see secret repentance. It is very important for you to have a sister in your life, from communication with her you can recognize your weakness and you will humble yourself. Beware of gaining the upper hand, if it is necessary to clearly not get rid of this, then secretly consider yourself to be the last, the same should be done with those who serve you, for they serve us, like us, then we should feel gratitude towards them, and in case of malfunctions or rudeness, do not torment us too much, but in moderation, with love and humility we will attract their zeal to ourselves more than with severity, and you will correct your dispensation. After all, it is not from the condescension of our neighbors towards us that our dispensation is corrected, but from our attention and guarding our passions and trying to purge them. How will you know yourself if someone does not show you your weakness from outside? It was not from the opposition of others that it was born in you, but it was already pledged to you, and your neighbors only showed by the sight of God that you would take the trouble to tear it out. Don’t be angry that I wrote a whole book of instructions for you, but this seems to serve as a preface to your life according to Bose and a brief extract, and you yourself learn, and you will learn more, and even from experience. I remain a great wisher for your health and salvation. And. M. I didn’t think of writing to you on this mail, because of my weakness I forbid it, but adding debt to debt, the debt will accumulate even more. So, although with compulsion, I take up the pen, but not just one hand must work, but also the mind must strain in the memory of the matter and the answer. I have already congratulated you on your new cell, and I congratulate you again on your partnership. Do not be surprised that sorrow followed after all; through this, every good deed is either preceded or followed by temptation, but this matter will be overcome with the help of God. For you, companionship is necessary, but even here, over time, you may encounter temptations, because it is necessary in order, through the advice of your neighbors, to recognize your weakness and humble yourself, and humility is very necessary for us, for it helps those who are fighting the enemy at home, and when they are overcome from him, it is clear that pride preceded it. However, this battle, since it is natural, is necessary, and for victory over it one is crowned with incorruptible crowns. And if someone is overcome by thoughts or movements of the flesh, then there is no need to be embarrassed, but to humble yourself and repent, while embarrassment proves pride and more than raises the enemy to battle, read from St. Isaac sl. 77 and the Venerable Nile of Sora about this battle. To be afraid of shame during confession is also a result of pride: those who expose themselves before God in the presence of a witness receive peace and forgiveness. And if there is no such (carnal) warfare, then it is even worse: it means that he has a commonwealth with his enemies, then they do not fight him. Moreover, not wood or stone, but those who bear flesh, and must defeat it with the help of God, read from St. John Climacus degree 15 and heal your weakness. Attain humility in any case and you will become wiser in the matter of your salvation. Without previous guilt on your part, M.N.’s coldness will not harm you, but you still need to reproach yourself when your heart moves; God sends cases to expose your structure, so that you know and try to heal your weakness. In your life with M.N., collisions may very well occur, and you need to benefit from them, experience will teach you. I don’t know what to tell you about your section. Pray to God and do His will, seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, then all these things will be added to you (Matthew 6:33). I wish for your peace, health and salvation many times. Hier. Macarius. Now you see for yourself that cases that seem unpleasant to us later turn to our advantage. They didn’t allow you to buy a cell, but it turned out to be useful. Live in this cell for now, and in a year there will be some other changes, and in the meantime, maybe your business will move forward, and you will receive your wealth. You complain about .... for its poor structure, but what can you do? We must endure, admonishing her with love and meekness. If you could do without her, then let her go home, otherwise you need her service, and you need to bear her infirmities. Moreover, she does not live in the monastery by choice, so is it any wonder that the conversion or the words of the sisters weigh on her? Pray to God for both your and her salvation, He is strong to give you peace. I remain a wisher for your peace, health and salvation, many sinners and... M. I congratulate you on being worthy of receiving the Holy Mysteries, the Body and Blood of Christ. May this sacrament be for you for the health of your soul and body. You write about your grief and about the spiritual weaknesses that you feel hiding inside you. It is good that you see and feel them, being in an unrelenting struggle of passions. We are spiritual warriors and have irreconcilable enemies, invisible, vigorous, evil, trying to tear apart the city of our soul, we should not continue our lives in laziness and sinful drowsiness, but, calling on God for help, resist our enemy. He only has power against us when we think arrogantly and proudly about ourselves, and if we are guided by humility in any case, then all the power and networks of the enemy are crushed. I know that you have no small sorrow about the disorganization of your cell, not having your own, although you were hopeful, but did not receive it, and also that you and M.N. did not get along in character. In all this I see the active providence of God in the matter of your salvation. Believe without a doubt that God allowed this to happen for your trial, when without His touch even the hair of our head does not perish (Luke 21:18), then what can be said about more than that. When you refer everything to God and accept sorrowful situations with self-reproach, considering yourself worthy of them, you will bear them comfortably and easily, but if, on the contrary, you reproach others and consider them guilty of your sorrow, then you will bring them more upon yourself and burden your cross. Read about this from St. Isaac sl. 51 and 79, you will see this clearly. I sincerely regret that you and M.N. have no peace, but Christian wisdom, according to the teachings of St. fathers, and will find benefit in this. How do we discover the passions hidden within us? And how can we destroy them? Not from the long-suffering of our neighbors towards us, but from our long-suffering towards them. They show us the passions that lie within us, but how? By the sight of God, i.e. God sends them to do something unpleasant and disgusting to us, so that they will learn that there are passions in us, and take care to eradicate them, and consider the perpetrators of this as benefactors, according to the word of St. Abba Dorotheus: “about reproaching yourself and not your neighbor.” Of course, it will soon be impossible to heal these diseases, but by recognizing your weakness and reproaching yourself, you will receive relief. By writing this to you, I in no way justify M.N., but, we move you with love for the Lord, I show you the way or just remind you, and you, having recognized your weakness, pray to the Lord to grant you reason and strength to stand against the machinations of the enemy and you will receive God’s help and be saved, which is what I earnestly wish for you. I.M. Thank God that you have now calmed down, having received part of your property, and have freed yourself from worrying about the estate, passing it on to your relatives. Thank God for this and try to correct your dispensation: you live in a monastery, enjoy spiritual conversation with God through psalmody and prayers during divine services, you have spiritual books that show you the path of salvation, follow the movement of your heart and cast down passions that arise, and especially pride, anger, rage, jealousy and condemnation of your neighbors. Why should we cry over the dead of others, when our own dead lies before us - our soul, killed by sins. You say: The Kingdom of Heaven will not be given for nothing, and everything prescribed for its acquisition is difficult and impossible to fulfill due to your weakness and powerlessness. But is it really difficult to reconcile? And humility saves, even apart from deeds. You slander that you were born with pride: it does not come from nature. God did not create you to be proud, but turns you out of will and skill; turn it into humility and learn from the Lord himself, for He is meek and humble in heart, and He will bring peace to your soul (Matthew 11:29). I congratulate you on the upcoming new year of your life - the 29th. Glory to God, I lived four weeks of years, experienced several cases, perhaps came to know my weaknesses, and where there is knowledge of them, humility can be found, and through it, peace can be found. You write that you did not have maternal care for yourself, but the words of the prophet David were fulfilled on you: my father and my mother abandoned me, but the Lord took me in (Ps. 26:10). You have been accepted by the Lord into the holy monastery of virgins seeking salvation. Seek it, learn from the words of Holy Scripture and St. fathers of teaching, strive, humble yourself, and turn to God’s help and be saved. I.M. You write about all the sad things about your estate and unfavorable settlements with your son-in-law. Where to go from sorrows? We all have them, but not at the same time, and each one, as we are arranged by God’s providence, is visited by them for our testing and correction. I wish you, having completed your work as soon as possible, receive the freedom to work for the Lord and in the cage of your heart to struggle against the invisible enemies who lend us our passions, with the help of God, cleanse your church from passions and clearly see the true light that enlightens every person coming into the world, and after completing humility in our work, you will be honored to find peace of mind according to the word of the Lord: learn from Me, for I am meek and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls (Matthew 11:29). You say that you envied the deceased S., she departed ready for eternity, but we, apparently, are not ready yet and demand fire, “burning the thorns of passions.” May the Lord give you peace to have within yourself and with everyone this greatest good, which the Lord taught to His disciples in His dying conversation: peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you (Jn. 14:27), may the Lord grant us the benefit of this saving world. I remain the desirer of your health and salvation, many sinners and... Macarius. Passions, each in turn, fight you, you say; this is not surprising: until we destroy them with the help of God, they will still fight, but we need to know why we do not have the power to defeat them when fighting, read about the passions in the catalog of St. Isaac, at St. You will know Barsanuphius. One thing we know for sure is that we are overcome by passions from pride, and the more we have it, the more fierce they become at us. The opposite of pride is humility; it abolishes all the networks of the enemy and helps to resist and overthrow. You write that it is very difficult to humble yourself. The Lord teaches us by his example, saying: Learn from Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls (Matthew 11:29). Do we have a mind? What brings us peace, we don’t even think about it, but pride gives birth to all kinds of evil and deprives us of peace, but we do not reject it, and when our Lord Jesus Christ Himself teaches us the first, and the latter is the inventor of malice, the devil. We must come to our senses and try to achieve humility. Learn from the catalog and books of St. Isaac the Syrian, St. Barsanuphius the Great and John Climacus, when you have the will to do this, you will receive God’s help. I regret that your affairs are still not completely over, but seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, then all these things will be added to you (Matthew 6:33). Invoking God's blessing on you, I remain a long-time wisher for your health and salvation. And. Macarius. Thank God that you returned to your monastery, and it brought you consolation. Having tasted the sorrows of a multi-rebellious world, thank God, who brought you to the abode of virgins seeking salvation, and because of the many illnesses that happened to you in the world, God’s consolation made your soul glad (Ps. 93:19). Cast your unfinished work on the Lord, and He will arrange it in a way that will benefit you. This was the kind of grief before the partition, but it has passed and will pass now. Be concerned about the salvation of your soul, pluck out the thorns of passions from the soil of your heart every day and plant the seeds of virtues, and especially humility and love. I.M. You grieved me that you did not receive an answer to your letter about your unsettlement and doubts about achieving the desired goal in your own way without control. I don’t remember why I didn’t give you an answer to this: either because of the fuss, or I thought that you were simply writing, reproaching yourself. Now I will answer your question: our goal is the salvation of the soul, the path is shown to St. fathers. Through the rejection of our will and reason we can more easily overcome passions, and by fulfilling the commandments of God we can acquire virtues, and through humility we can overthrow pride, but since you did not find yourself capable of nourishing you, and you obey her, through which you could quickly humble yourself, then having reason, test yourself the commandments of God and the fatherly scriptures and be guided by them, walking the path of humility, recognizing in everything your weakness and yourself reproaching, not neighbors, and not deviating from the goal. The Holy Fathers very clearly showed us the path of humility, which saves us even without works, but works without it will not save us, may the Lord enlighten you and strengthen you. Hieromonk Macarius. You write about your bewilderment regarding the sale of the estate, what to do, and ask me to tell you the will of God in this? Woe to me, a sinner! How can I have such audacity as to say whether God’s will is in this or that? May the Lord Himself enlighten you as you come running to Him, presenting your bewilderment and difficulty. I think that if it is God’s will for this, then the work will be accomplished, and if not, then an obstacle will be encountered. You had a deal with buying a cell from N.N., but it didn’t happen. Apparently, there is no will of God, and, of course, there would be no benefit to you, then He saved you from embarrassment. Being patient, I endured the Lord and listened to me and heard my prayer (Ps. 39:2). You also need to be patient, perhaps, and soon the Lord will give you the consolation of having your own cell, just don’t complain and don’t anger God; in times of sorrow and distress, turn the reproach on yourself, because either because of your disorder, or because of the trial, you are not given a calm refuge. It is also necessary to take care of the inner cell, about which St. writes. Isaac: “This and she (heavenly) alone is, the Kingdom of Heaven is within you, according to the word of the Lord.” May the Lord bless you and comfort you with His mercy. I.M. I am sorry for you that when you are visited by sorrows, you are embarrassed and lose the fruit of patience. It’s good that M. caught the fleeting thought of revenge and overthrew it with repentance. You rejoice in vain, thinking that you will get consumption, you can grieve afterwards, it can be long-lasting. Be content with the fact that God sends you passing sorrows to enable you to recognize your weakness and humility. Our pride is the cause of all our disasters, but God humbles us: it is good for me, for you have humbled me (Ps. 119:71), says King David, “but first do not even humble me, even those who have sinned (Ps. 119:67). From this we can know that sorrows benefit us, because they humble us, and God looks upon humility. I.M. In a letter to the sisters, I congratulated you on purchasing your cell. I wish that it will serve as your path to the entrance to the church not made by hands, eternal in heaven. Thank God you are in your cell. Thank Him. You write that at the age of nine you acquired knowledge of the action of passions, of which you had no idea before, now you thank God that He called you into the monastic life, and you pray to Him to grant you the privilege of spending the last time of your life in repentance. What is this? Is this not the betrayal of the right hand of the Most High (Ps. 76:11)! Are you really worried about this before? God bless! I sincerely rejoice at this change. If you believe, you will see more of these (John 1:50) and you will know yourself. If your will is good, God will help you to see your weaknesses even more, to humble yourself and remain unwounded by the arrows of the enemy, but to be covered by the grace of God. You need companionship both in spiritual work in the knowledge of your weakness, and in the respect that you write about. N.N., who is being offered to you, is a girl who desires and seeks salvation, but, of course, has not yet been tempted by her weaknesses. She wants to join the monastery, but her mother, out of love for her, opposes this, but you can hope that she will let you go first to stay, and then completely. You can take her to you for testing your freedom, and infirmities, and for her benefit in cohabitation, but, of course, not as a student for you. And it is unknown who he will relate to, then it will be seen. I don’t mind her cohabiting with you. I.M. You are bored by your loneliness, and it is impossible not to be bored, because you are in a morally inactive state, and passions lie hidden in you, and are not exterminated. There is no way for you to have someone show them to you; they would penetrate upward, and you would tear them out and little by little cleanse your heart of them, as the psalmist writes: having penetrated all those who practice iniquity, let them be consumed forever and ever (Ps. 92:8). Pray to the Lord to send you such a sister, and try to be a worker, not to live with her for company, but to bear each other’s weaknesses and recognize your own weaknesses. You write that you have been terribly worried since you were left alone after the noisy company of your relatives. This is known from the fatherly teachings: when feelings are resolved, then internal warfare subsides, and when feelings calm down, then internal warfare arises. This also happened to you, but do not be horrified by this, but be courageous in spiritual warfare and do not lose heart, do not lose hope in God’s mercy, in the struggle recognize your weakness and humble yourself, humility calms and drives away the machinations and arrows of the enemy. Read John of Carpathia’s epistle to the Indian monks, it greatly encourages and consoles those in labor, and also read from St. Isaac the Syrian lyrics 7 on page 37. If mortal memory leads you to embarrassment and not to humility, then it is not true. May the Lord enlighten and strengthen you on the path of salvation and grant you life in repentance, a good ending, and hope in salvation. Many-sinner Jer. Macarius. You ask me to tell you about the cross with relics, is it possible to have it in your cell? Many have zeal and reverence for the saints of God, while others, out of humility, consider themselves unworthy to have such a shrine, both of them do the right thing. Choose any one for yourself and reverence the shrine. These letters from No. 181 to No. 207 were written to the same person. Letters from No. 307 to No. 238 (inclusive) were written to one person. You might be interested in: