107. К Феодоре 76

We are killed, we are exhausted, we have suffered a thousand deaths. The bearers of this letter can tell you more about this, although they spent only one moment with us, since under the yoke of constant attacks of fever I could not even talk to them at all. Meanwhile, despite my illness, I had to travel day and night, tormented by the heat, exhausted by the inability to sleep, dying from the lack of the most necessary items and the lack of people who could provide help. Even the fate of convicts and prison inmates is not as difficult as what we have endured and are still enduring. Finally, and just barely, I reached Caesarea, like a sailor after a storm in a quiet harbor. True, this pier is not able to compensate for the evil caused by the storm: so the previous time crushed us once and for all! With all this, having arrived in Caesarea, I somewhat revived, because I drink clean water here, because I do not eat musty and dry bread, because I no longer wash in the wreckage of barrels, but I found a bathhouse, whatever it was, because, finally, I was allowed to go to bed. It would be possible to tell more than this, but in order not to burden your memory, I will limit myself to what has been said and add only one thing: that you should not give rest to those who love us with your reproaches, because even with so many adherents, despite such strength, we were not even given the leniency that is given to criminals in order to settle us in some calmer and closer place, that, despite the upset state of our health and the fear instilled everywhere there by the Isaurians, we were denied even this modest and worthless favor. Thank God for that too! We will never stop praising Him for everything: “Blessed be the name of the Lord!” (“Blessed be His name forever”) (Job 1:21). However, I am also very surprised at you: this is the fourth or fifth letter I have now sent to your modesty, but I have received only one and only one from you. Meanwhile, there was no obstacle to writing more often. I am not saying this to condemn you: there is no compulsion to love, there is good will for everyone. But I am very sad that you threw us out of your mind so quickly, and in such a long time you sent us only one letter. If our request is not difficult or bothersome to you, then at least give us what you have power over and what depends on you. As for the other, we no longer insist, so that, in addition to a complete failure in success, we do not seem to you to be burdensome and annoying. The paragraphs in the text were arranged by us. – Editorial staff of “ABC of Faith” From Caesarea in Cappadocia, on the way to the place of exile, in 404. You might be interested in: