Глава III. Путешествие по Востоку с паломнической целью

The whole day after the night described, Mikhail Ivanovich cried and grieved. A touching farewell to his mother, to whom he attached himself with all the strength of his soul, a cold kiss from his brother and a heartfelt “forgiveness” from his family could not leave his mind. Now, the further away his dear family faces moved from him with each passing hour, the more dear and endearing they seemed to him. A premonition seemed to tell him that he would not see them again in this life, and the tears did not dry in his eyes. From the present, his thought flew to a new country, unknown to him, and his heart involuntarily sank with fear for the future, where, alas, he would not meet any of those who were dear and dear to him, with whom he had hitherto shared the sorrows and joys of his twenty-nine-year life. Memories of childhood with all the petty pranks and misdeeds, his first years of life in the commercial field quickly flashed through his head - in this whole period there was little interesting and worthy of being able to dwell with pleasure on some fact. But now his mind turns to the past about his entry into society, his successes in it, when Mikhail Ivanovich became a real young man, his courtship of beautiful young ladies, and these memories washed over him in a wave, took possession of his entire young being, full of passion and fire, and raised in his soul a whole storm of passionate desires, from which he could not free himself. “Here, unfortunately, I was so overcome by passion and prodigal thoughts,” Fr. notes in his diary. Macarius - that I was just suffering. It seems that all my former intrigues 18 vividly presented themselves to my imagination.” The young man was so overcome by melancholy and discouragement that all efforts to conquer his passions were unsuccessful. Reading soul-saving books was powerless against passionate thoughts, which not only did not leave the young man, but grew with incredible force and made further struggle with passion almost impossible. “In Romny my passion grew so much that I,” writes Fr. Macarius, it seems, would be happy to satisfy, but Evgraf noticed my embarrassment and often spoke bold words, and spoke from the Holy Scriptures. I felt better, but it didn’t go away.” On the way to Kyiv, which was the first main stop on his pilgrimage, he did not fail to stop at the Root Hermitage 19 to pray to the Queen of Heaven. Mikhail Ivanovich arrived in Kyiv on the 12th of August and stayed at the Lavra hotel, where, however, on the occasion of the upcoming holiday, there was such a large crowd of people that he barely managed to find a room for shelter. Here he met with 16 young pilgrims from Stary Oskol, who had arrived in Kyiv a few days earlier. Ecclesiarch Meletiy Antimonov found a temporary room for Mikhail Ivanovich. All the ceremonial services for the Feast of the Assumption are described in detail in the diary and made a deep impression on the young pilgrim, but two moments seemed especially touching to him. “With a church ceremony, a large number of people, there is nothing more touching,” he writes about the first of them, “when the 17th kathisma begins. It’s as if the Queen of Heaven herself descends from heaven to be present with us sinners: quietly, quietly they lower the holy icon and stop in the middle of the royal gates.” “The Metropolitan was seen off in the darkness with lamps,” it says there about another moment. “How touchingly in the dead of midnight the Metropolitan, with the candle illuminated, walks into his chamber after a seven-hour vigil!” Mikhail Ivanovich lived in Kyiv until the 24th of August, and during this time he managed to do everything that was necessary for a pious pilgrim: he examined all the Kyiv shrines and prayed to them, received the Holy Mysteries twice, and once “vile and sinful, he was honored to receive them from the hands of Metropolitan Philaret, from whom he later received a blessing for the journey, confessed in Golosev 20 to the schemamonk Parthenius 21, “a man who resolutely lives behind the grave,” who told Mikhail Ivanovich in parting that he “will not stay on Athos and will return back home,” and met with the governor of the Lavra, Archimandrite Lawrence, “an angelic man,” who blessed him with the image of the Sporuchnitsa, gave several practical instructions and provided him with a letter of recommendation to Jerusalem to Hieromonk Theophan 22. On September 1, Mikhail Ivanovich arrived in Odessa to obtain a foreign passport here and from here go by boat to Palestine. But beyond his expectations, he had to live in this city much longer than he expected. Since, according to the accepted rule, at that time a foreign passport was obtained for everyone separately from St. Petersburg, at first a lot of time was spent on these efforts, and then it turned out that Mikhail Ivanovich’s companion Evgraf was not given permission to leave, because his name was omitted from the list of those wishing to travel abroad. In view of this, Mikhail Ivanovich moved from a private apartment to a common one and settled down with the other 15 companions from Stary Oskol who were heading to Athos. After visiting some of the sights of the city, such as the cathedral, the most important churches and monasteries, as well as the “Panorama and Museum where antiquities are kept,” a hospice house 23, a hospital from the beggar committee, cemeteries, etc., the young pilgrims began to lead a modest lifestyle and befitting of the title that they had voluntarily assumed. On Sunday, Wednesday and Friday they went to all church services without fail, and on the remaining days in the morning and evening they read the usual prayers, according to kathisma from the Psalter and one or two akathists. Quite often, travelers imposed a voluntary fast on themselves and partook of the Holy Mysteries. The conscience and thoughts of each were not a secret to the others, since they “decided to reveal everything to each other with an oath.” Offenses against good behavior were punished with bows. The pilgrims spent their free time from spiritual exercises on trips to the fountain, walks along the boulevard and on the shore of the raging sea, near which they especially often loved to wander, “dreaming about everything and for everyone, remembering the past” and stretching mentally towards the expected formidable future. “So we too will have to sway in the middle of the sea!” - the pilgrims said to themselves, fixing their gaze on the raging water element, among which some huge ship was either appearing or hiding. Such walks made a strong impression on our pilgrims. But among the travelers, not everyone was of such a high religious mood as was imbued with the future abbot of the Russian Panteleimon Monastery and some of his other companions. Among the latter there were people who not only did not feel any inclination towards feats of abstinence, unceasing prayer and a modest cell life, but who directly loved to live in grand style, to indulge in the pleasures that were available to their age, means and upbringing, and therefore naturally did not easily endure and put up with the regime that was established in the comrade’s apartment, thanks to the influence of very few, of which the first place belonged to Mikhail Ivanovich. It is not surprising, therefore, that on the part of this kind of pilgrims there were violations of discipline, chastity 24, marital fidelity, and even sharp protests against the primacy of certain persons in the partnership. Frank Diary gives us several similar examples, but we will focus only on the outstanding ones. “On the morning of November 28,” we read in Fr.’s diary. Macarius, - having gotten up as usual, [since] there was no service in the church, we started in the apartment (i.e., the morning rule). And by the way, I turn to the singers, saying: “sing irmos.” They suddenly say: “How long will these additions to prayer last? what kind of charterer are you and why do you recognize yourself as our leading person?” This offended me, because this was a stranger speaking, and Mr. S-tsov 25 had been acting in a weak state lately, and that’s why such troubles arose, and we were in trouble all day. A few days after the event described, namely on December 7, a rift occurred in the partnership with the owner of the apartment, and our pilgrims were forced to move to another apartment. However, it was not possible for everyone to get comfortable in the new apartment. One of our comrades writes Fr. Macarius was angry that he did not have a room. I noticed this, gave him the room, and moved in with them (i.e., the others). They read the rule as usual, as before, but they wanted everyone to be at prayer. After talking about this, we went to bed.” “On the 5th (of the same month),” the diary says, “we spent the day as usual. In the evening it was necessary to read akathists, but no one showed up; everyone left. We sent one of our comrades to one place.” “On the 28th (of the same month during Christmas time), we began to say to each other that what we were doing was very bad, but no one listened, but began to visit the guests and did not show up for prayer.” These excerpts from the diary very clearly illustrate our thought and at the same time give us a clear idea of ​​what Mikhail Ivanovich lived in these years of his maturity and what role he played in a casual friendly company. He undoubtedly had a leading role in the partnership, not because this role was indicated to him by the rest of his comrades, but because with his sympathetic character, his highly ascetic inclinations and knowledge of the structure of monastic life, of course, more theoretically, he was superior to everyone else. Other more well-minded people involuntarily obeyed his moral influence. Even if there were sometimes protests from some, Mikhail Ivanovich managed to settle matters with meekness, condescension, concessions and even personal self-restraint in favor of his comrades. Therefore, the dissatisfied Protestants were eventually pacified and involuntarily recognized his authority. All subsequent orders, which were issued not without the initiative of Mikhail Ivanovich, were accepted by the others and did not violate good comradely relations until the end of their Odessa life. Mikhail Ivanovich's five-month stay in Odessa was for him a touchstone on which the highly sympathetic character traits of the future ascetic, abbot of the populous Panteleimon Athos monastery, which Providence was pleased to entrust to his spiritual guidance, were honed. One cannot help but draw attention to a very interesting fact from the life of Mikhail Ivanovich during his stay in Odessa, before leaving abroad, which is also noted in the diary. In addition to establishing common morning and evening prayers in the comrade’s apartment and establishing certain rules of conduct, Mikhail Ivanovich showed a direct desire to create a real communal monastery from this circle of his companions. “On the 11th (December) we,” writes Fr. Macarius in his diary, - they all got together and talked, uniting so that there was food at all; determined 280 rubles for it. and they made a rule that during meals they should read and come to prayer in general. I was the cashier, and Evgraf did the shopping.” This order of life lasted until the end of their stay in Odessa, although at times it was disrupted by some troubles, because not all the demands of the partnership were satisfied by Mikhail Ivanovich. “We were at mass on the 20th,” the diary notes, “and after lunch my comrades asked me to buy them wine for the holiday, but I did not agree.” The refusal, however, did not satisfy the dissatisfied, and on the very feast of the Nativity of Christ, an ugly scene played out over a friendly meal. “On the 25th we went early to Matins,” writes Mikhail Ivanovich in his diary. – The singers sang both at Compline and at Matins very well. There was no early mass. They came late and sang very well. Having arrived and drunk tea, we wanted to go to Novikov, but no one agreed. I took Evgraf and went. Arriving there, he received him kindly. I had a snack and went to the apartment. I arrive and, my God! They're all tipsy. I called for dinner and began to read. They have their own way, and then chaos ensued: one did not listen to the other. So, we had a boring day of the holiday...” In the last days of Mikhail Ivanovich’s Odessa life there was another event, which is mentioned briefly in the diary, but which, undoubtedly, had enormous significance for his future fate and almost here decided his future. I mean his acquaintance with the famous Svyatogorsk Hieromonk Seraphim, the author of enthusiastic and poetic “letters to his friends about the Holy Mount Athos,” which attracted the attention of critics and contemporaries and still serve as the only excellent guide and guide for pious religiously-minded fans to familiarize themselves with the life and structure of Svyatogorsk life and the sights of Athos. Saint Seraphim was at the height of his literary fame at this time. Having published the first part of his “Letters” in St. Petersburg, where he lived for about a year, he was flattered by the flattering attention of the leader of the then literary and journal activity, Bulgarin, who gave an excellent review 26 of this work of the Svyatogorets, and managed to win the favor of such luminaries of our archpastors as Philaret of Moscow 27, Innocent of Odessa, Nikanor of St. Petersburg and others. In Moscow, St. Petersburg and other cities, the name of Svyatogorets became well known, and Fr. Seraphim was greeted everywhere with open arms, as a dear and welcome guest 28 . To Odessa about. Seraphim arrived on January 10, 1851 on his way to Athos, where in 1853 on December 17 he ended the days of his life. All the young pilgrims “were glad” of his arrival, eager to hear from living, eloquent lips an inspired word about the purpose of their youthful pious aspirations, but most of all, of course, a meeting with Fr. Mikhail Ivanovich wanted Seraphim. On the same day he learned about the arrival of Fr. Seraphim, “went to him and talked with him for a long time.” It’s not difficult to guess what this young enthusiast’s conversation with the experienced and experienced old man was about. It is safe to say that Fr. Seraphim had before him the most attentive listener, whose ear did not utter a single word from the fascinating old man. Mikhail Ivanovich fell in love with Fr. Seraphim, with all his soul, became attached to him and almost every day, as can be seen from the diary, he had conversations with him, sometimes even with his other companions. O. Seraphim, in turn, also fell in love with his young listeners and gave a very flattering review about them in one of his letters 29 from the Holy Mountain. On January 3, permission to travel abroad was finally received. Mikhail Ivanovich and his companions began packing and preparing for the trip. The preparations proceeded slowly, since haste was unnecessary due to the fact that the quarantine harbor, covered with ice, was cleared of it on January 22. On January 23, things were packed, all the necessary orders were made, a farewell prayer was served in the Church of Peter and Paul, letters were written and sent to relatives, and Mikhail Ivanovich included in the letter to his parents 30 his daguerreotype portrait, which he himself calls “successful” 31. At about four o'clock in the afternoon all the travelers stepped onto the deck of the sea steamer. The hour of separation from parents and homeland for travelers intending to sail on the sea for the first time was difficult and was accompanied by cries: “Forgive me, Russia! Forgive me, holy homeland, parents and relatives!”, “Perhaps fate will no longer collide with you!” For many of the companions, these exclamations were prophetic. The road to Constantinople was difficult for Mikhail Ivanovich and his companions. The steamer struggled for a long time out of the ice that had blocked up the harbor, and when it went out into the open sea, it found itself in a terrible storm, which caused unbearably severe suffering to the inexperienced travelers, in the midst of which they prepared for death and made promises, calling on all the saints for help. But as soon as the steamer entered the Strait of Constantinople and the danger of death had passed, the hopes of safely reaching the desired end were again revived in the travelers, and they greedily reveled in the delights and enchanting views of the Strait and Constantinople itself, fixing their gaze on the pinnacles of the minarets of St. Sophia. The reality and acquaintance with the interior of the city somewhat disappointed our pilgrims in its charms, but the soul of the young enthusiasts was filled with a strong desire to see the shrines of this long-suffering city, in order to worship them and sufficiently enjoy their personal contemplation. In the new seven-hill Rome, therefore, there was not a single, one might say, inch of land left that they did not walk with their feet, there was not a single more or less remarkable religious or archaeological building that they did not inspect, in which they did not visit, and often even twice. Pilgrims collected detailed information about the shrines, both from written sources, and perhaps more from the oral stories of simple-minded guides - Athonite monks. The diary of Mikhail Ivanovich’s stay in Constantinople is filled with this kind of legends and oral stories, of which some pilgrims today do not hear and cannot read in guidebooks to Constantinople. In most cases, Mikhail Ivanovich, without any comments on his part, writes all these legends in his diary. Occasionally, only he asks himself questions, to which he immediately gives feasible solutions to them. Talking, for example, about his trip to the Flour Market, Mikhail Ivanovich writes the following: “There we went inside the fortress to the source, where the icon of the Annunciation, St. Nicholas and St. Basil the Great, but the actual icon has already been lost. A prayer service was held here. And also there, someone must have thrown or lowered the icon on the copper of St. Nicholas and the Mother of God, only it is of Russian origin. From there we went to the mosque, Agimasar (?), where the tomb of St. Vasily and Fr. ... (i.e. the guide did not know who this Vasily was), but I believe that the new Basil, with whom Theodora lived, who appeared to Gregory, the disciple of St. Vasily, for the student was buried right there, but not inside the mosque, but outside. And the place in the fortress where Vasily lived. After looking, they paid baksheesh or magarych. The Turks asked us: “Why are you looking at these places and paying money?” We answered: “This is for us a remembrance of the ancient holy men.”... From there (i.e., from the Church of the Healer Mother of God) we went to the tomb of the unfortunate Constantine Palaeologus 32. A poor palisade and two standing stones with a Turkish inscription. A cypress tree, already almost withered, flutters sadly above it. The place is almost built up. It is sad to see the owner of the city and people resting so humbly. On the other side [lies] the Arab who killed him. His grave is covered with stones... From there (from the Patriarchate) they went to the Jerusalem Patriarchate, where St. the image of Ubrus, sent by the Savior to Abgar, but requires identification, although the bishop took an oath. I don’t pass it off as true, but the wonderful image is alive... From there (i.e. from the cave of St. Andrew the Fool) went to Solomon’s chain, which is located on a cypress tree, before which, as if in Greek times, she was like a judge, namely: if someone takes money and gives it back, but after a while the lender or giver says: “You didn’t give it to me,” or vice versa, without giving it back, says: “I gave it away,” then both go to this chain, and if someone is right, then the chain, after reading the prayer, which one - they have not told me - falls into the hands of the right and then the convicted person is accused before the people. One day, one pilgrim, passing to Jerusalem and having a lot of money, fearing to take it with him, finds a poor man and says: “If I return, I will give it to you for your efforts, but in the meantime, you use the money, and if I die, then [let] it remain with you.” The admirer returned and demands the money, he replies: “Come in a little while.” A fan arrives. He says: “Have you forgotten what I gave you the first time you came?” Finally, no matter how much the admirer of this man tried to convince him, nothing convinced him, they decided to go to this chain. They are coming. The one who takes the money puts the entire coin into a stick or cane, and when they come, [then] he gives the cane to the admirer and says: “Hold it!” And when he was holding, and this one was reading a prayer that he swore that he had given the money, the chain fell into his hands, the admirer was horrified by the injustice and blasphemed the name of God, not knowing that the stick given to him was the amount taken from him and which [i.e. e. stick], at the end of the oath, he gave it again to that person. At that same time, the chain, screaming and flying up to the top of the tree, scattered over the branches and the tree at the same time dried up, and the one who took the money immediately repented.” Sometimes Mikhail Ivanovich does not give explanations for the sad events and phenomena he describes that amazed him, because, in his opinion, “a mortal should not enter into such things,” that is, into the consideration of all the reasons, which are all in the will of God. Describing the sights and shrines of Constantinople, Mikhail Ivanovich notes in his diary the features of church liturgical practice, vestments, structure and decoration of churches, both in the parish Greek churches and in the Patriarchate. With special attention, he dwells on the indecency and disorder during church services, which is striking for a Russian person, both on the part of clergy and laity, and moreover, when the bishop himself officiates. “28th (January). Morning, Sunday. We were in the church of St. Nicholas (in Galata), we read in the diary, during the Greek service. The bishop served, but one should look at this service with sadness in one’s soul. Imagine: after God’s blessing, where even free minds succumb to the general ritual, here, when you enter the church, you will see people wearing hats and fezzes (a fez is a red woolen cap with a tassel). I made my way to the royal doors, where I saw the deplorable state of decline in the Orthodox religion. The bishop served, but the servants had no reverence or respect, talking in the usual way, without fear. The bishop, coming out to the funeral litany and sitting down in a chair, surprised me with his free turn of his gaze in all directions. The servants and co-workers said whatever was necessary among themselves, not at all wary of their boss ... " Mikhail Ivanovich devotes little space in his diary to describing the city’s secular attractions, although he does not ignore any of them. In the diary there are sometimes only simple mentions of this kind of monuments and attractions, since their descriptions were not part of the direct goals of the pilgrim. On February 8, Mikhail Ivanovich, leaving his Stary Oskol companions, who were heading straight to Athos, in Constantinople, together with Evgraf, boarded an English steamer and, in light weather, set off to visit the holy places of Palestine, Egypt and Arabia. This journey was boring, since Mikhail Ivanovich did not know English, and his companions were Turks, Greeks and Armenians who spoke an even less understandable language. Of the Russians, only one woman was on the ship. How this great voyage ended, what labors and hardships Mikhail Ivanovich endured on other more difficult paths, such as, for example, to Sinai 33, what thoughts, thoughts and feelings worried him when he visited the desired places, consecrated by the feet of the Lord and His disciples, what he saw and what he heard during this almost year and a half long journey - there is no reliable documentary data about all this. The detailed and in many respects interesting diary of Mikhail Ivanovich, which we have previously used to characterize him, ends with leaving Constantinople and, it seems, there is no hope that its continuation will ever be found. According to the testimony of very respectable persons from the monastic brethren, this diary was destroyed by fire during a fire that occurred in the Panteleimon Monastery in 1887, in the month of August. Our efforts to find letters from Mikhail Ivanovich to his parents or relatives during his travels in the East were not crowned with success: during this time we do not even have a single note written from the East by the hand of a traveler. That is why here we have to revive in our memory the half-forgotten memories of this journey of the deceased himself, Fr. Macarius, who told us something before our trip to the East for our edification and approval - this is, on the one hand, and on the other hand, to trust the words of his companion, who is still alive on Athos, Fr. Pachomius, who was in the rank of hieromonk, under a contractual agreement, sealed in writing, for a certain remuneration, as an expert in many oriental languages ​​and an experienced person, undertook to accompany the young Sushkin to Sinai and Egypt. Based on all this data, as well as judging by his enthusiastic character, lively temperament, and high religious enthusiasm and disposition, the trip to Palestine and other places in the Orthodox East makes a deep, enchanting impression on the soul of young Sushkin. His admiration and delight knew no bounds, as his childhood dream came true; These precious places for every believer, watered with the blood and sweat of the Divine Teacher and His disciples, he now saw with his own eyes, breathed their air, was warmed by their sun, trampled their sacred dust with his sinful feet. Every pebble was a shrine for him, every blade of grass, every bush of a stunted tree was an object of admiration and adoration, and he could not part with these objects dear to him indifferently. His pilgrim bags and cypress chests, unbeknownst to him, were overflowing with this kind of Palestinian relics, which were intended, firstly, by their appearance to arouse sacred delights in him and transfer his thoughts to these holy places, and on the other hand, to serve as an expensive gift for those close to his heart whom he left far away in his homeland 34. His, unfortunately, unpreserved diary was undoubtedly filled with these delights; He shared them in letters to his family. According to Ivan Ivanovich, Fr.’s beloved brother. Macarius, his first letter from Jerusalem began with such a significant exclamation: “Finally, the dream of my childhood, cherished from the age of thirteen, has come true!” There is nothing to add that in Palestine, in Sinai, as in other places in the East, as in Constantinople, there was not a single more or less remarkable place that Mikhail Ivanovich did not see with his own eyes. Well-read since childhood, he now wanted to revive in his memory those memories and impressions that he had taken from books, and with a personal review of holy places and objects to forever imprint memories of them. That is why he made his journeys from place to place slowly, without haste, with stops for a period of time that is not customary for ordinary pilgrims. So, for example, Mikhail Ivanovich lived in the Sinai monastery for more than a month, whereas, according to established custom, ordinary worshipers live in it for no more than eight days. The highest representatives of the spiritual hierarchy did not put any obstacles or restrictions on him not only here, but also in other holy places of Palestine and Egypt, of course, in the ways that they hoped from a wealthy pilgrim, in gratitude for his hospitality and courtesy, to receive a generous contribution to the needs of the holy places entrusted to their care. And indeed, Mikhail Ivanovich did not skimp on contributions, for which the Eastern Patriarchs were endowed with not only highly valuable items for the admirer, in the form of particles from the life-giving tree of the Lord, 35 which usually do not fall into the hands of ordinary admirers, but was also repeatedly invited by them to meals. Based on the simple-minded stories of the confessor, Fr. Pachomius 36, who was very critical of the personality of Fr. Macarius in a secular rank, we can note another side of the personal spiritual life of Mikhail Ivanovich during his travels in the East. Evening and morning common prayers, with the reading of many akathists, started by Mikhail Ivanovich in a comrade’s apartment in Odessa, were not only not abandoned by him, but, on the contrary, became more and more complicated by the introduction of new and new akathists or prayers, when his comrades were only Fr. Pachomius and the yard man Evgraf. Mikhail Ivanovich’s comrades in Odessa did not like these lengthy common prayers, nor did his Sinai companions, not only the frivolous Evgraf, but even Fr. Pachomius. “First Evgraf moved to another room, and then I began to ask the fathers to give me a separate cell, since I did not have the strength to read all his akathists and fulfill the canons he imposed,” Fr. added good-naturedly. Pachomius, without noticing himself, is giving his biographer a very curious feature to characterize his companion. Visiting the church of God was indispensable and daily, according to the rule of Mikhail Ivanovich. In Sinai, at the request of Mikhail Ivanovich and with the permission of the elders, Fr. Pachomius celebrated daily liturgy in the Slavic language in the Church of the Burning Bush; where, according to the customary order in Sinai, the liturgy is served only once a week on Saturdays. During this liturgy, Mikhail Ivanovich played the role of reader and singer. The harsh life of the few fathers of the Sinai monastery, farthest from civilized centers, made a deep impression on Mikhail Ivanovich. Thrown into a wild rocky desert, crushed by the majestic giants of the surrounding granite mountains, the monks of the Sinai monastery lead a harsh ascetic lifestyle, often filled with deprivation in the most essential: they dress poorly, often have a table of bread and various kinds of cereals, cultivated with amazing energy in a small garden near the monastery, and divide all their time between hard work and prayer in the church. Special kinds of ascetic feats, such as wearing chains on the body and depriving oneself of the necessary clothing to cover one’s nakedness, etc., had previously made a strong impression on Mikhail Ivanovich, and now, thanks to his highly religious mood, the fascination from such feats was positively irresistible. Observing the simplicity in the costume of the Sinai monks in general, and in some cases even its complete deprivation, as for example in the person of the Sinai monk, who at times either did not wear any clothes, or tore the clothes he had on and walked naked in the monastery and in the desert, Mikhail Ivanovich began to think about his passion for panache. Under the influence of these thoughts, he changed his smart suit to a simple nankeen robe, sewn for him by the skillful hand of the above-mentioned ascetic Fr. Nicholas, and in this form he did not even hesitate to appear before our consul in Cairo. O. Pachomius talks about Fr. Macarius is such an episode. When Mikhail Ivanovich returned to Cairo from Sinai, he immediately went to the consul to receive information about the money and letters sent to him from Russia. “Are there letters addressed to Sushkin from Russia?” – modest Mikhail Ivanovich timidly inquired of the consul. “Yes, there are letters addressed to honorary citizen M.I. Sushkin, but who are you?” – he asked in bewilderment, peering at the strange suit of the stranger. “I am honorary citizen Sushkin,” Mikhail Ivanovich embarrassedly confirmed his identity. The astonishment on the consul's face was the final act of this curious scene, and Mikhail Ivanovich, according to Fr. Pachomius, received from the hands of the consul a whole bag of letters addressed to him. At this time, Mikhail Ivanovich did not ignore other features of his lively and impressionable temperament, but tried to regulate them, give them an appropriate direction, and even directly fought with them. Impressive by nature, he was very worried, seeing the sluggishness of his servant Evgraf, and often even scolded him, but then, when his anger passed, he forgave his favorite’s guilt and was very kind and condescending towards him. Noticing this character trait in his master, Evgraf positively abused it, especially during his return from Sinai. According to the same Fr. Pachomius, at the stops, tired of the desert heat and heavy camel riding, Mikhail Ivanovich had to set up his tent with his hands and even prepare tea, while his Evgraf, sprawled on the ground, slept the sleep of the righteous, without at the same time refusing either the tent shade or the life-giving glass of tea, which in the waterless, hot desert is a true blessing for the traveler. “It was funny to watch,” says Fr. Pachomius, “this is the transformation of a master into a servant and a servant into a master.” But Mikhail Ivanovich, having become somewhat worried, forgot everything a minute later and rode off again as if nothing had happened, peacefully and calmly, loving his frivolous Evgraf with all his soul 37 . But all the spiritual and ascetic exercises that the young enthusiast had hitherto indulged in were the fruit of his inner religious mood and partly of his acquaintance with the ascetic writings of the holy fathers, which he loved to read as a child. All of them flowed, although simply and naturally, without any external outside prompting, they were pure and sincere, but Mikhail Ivanovich indulged in them without observing moderation or even prudent gradualness. That is why he did not find like-minded people either in Odessa among his comrades, many of whom later became excellent monks, or even more so among his Sinai companions. Mikhail Ivanovich, encountering daily people who devoted themselves to asceticism, which in many ways did not resemble his idea of ​​​​this feat, instinctively felt the need to find an experienced “old man-teacher” who could show the real true path to asceticism, following which he would not become exhausted and despair of achieving the goal, but gradually, although not without difficulty, would improve and get closer to it. He found just such an experienced elder teacher in the person of Father Jerome, confessor of the Russian Panteleimon Monastery, when he arrived on Athos. From Alexandria to Athos, Mikhail Ivanovich traveled through Smyrna and Thessaloniki by steamship, and from there to the Holy Mountain by land. He arrived at the Panteleimon Monastery on the evening of November 3, 1851 and was very kindly greeted by the abbot - Archimandrite Gerasim and confessor Jerome, who had already been notified in advance of the arrival of such a dear pilgrim to them. Here the word “intrigue” should not be understood in a bad sense, but in the sense of simple courtship, combined with pleasantries and compliments. Fr.'s own confession prevents any other interpretation. Macarius on maintaining the purity of the body before becoming a monk and the obvious and convincing fact for everyone that Father Macarius was a hieromonk and archimandrite of Athonite ordination, and on Athos to this day only “virgins” or people who have maintained their bodily purity are ordained to hierarchical degrees. See below his letter to his parents dated March 16, 1853. In Kursk, Mikhail Ivanovich met the Athonite schema-monk Seleukius, who was at that time in Russia to collect alms for the Russian Panteleimon Monastery on Mount Athos. O. Seleuky willingly agreed to be M.I.’s companion and accompanied him to Constantinople. See: The story of the Holy Mountain dweller Schemamonk Seleukius about his life and his wanderings in holy places. St. Petersburg, 1860. P. 41. A small country monastery located about eight miles from Kiev, where the Kiev metropolitans spend time in the summer. A detailed biography of this remarkable confessor and elder is contained in the brochure: The Legend of the Life and Deeds of the Elder of the Kiev Pechersk Lavra, Hieroschemamonk Parthenius. Kiev, 1856. Father Hieromonk Theophan was at that time one of the members of the Jerusalem spiritual mission, and then was the bishop of the Tambov diocese. Then he lived in retirement in one of the monasteries of this diocese. The hospice house was set up near the orphanage and consecrated in 1850 on October 15, in the presence of Mikhail Ivanovich and his companions. Diary of Fr. Makaria paints the moral debauchery that reigned on the Odessa boulevards at that time in horrific colors. Crowds of frivolous women, according to the diary, met our pilgrims “at every step.” On December 17th Fr. Macarius writes the following about the same companion: “We and comrades were at mass, but S-tsov was not there. For this you need to pay several bows, he did not agree, and we quarreled again.” “Perhaps you have already read a review of my letters in the Northern Bee? – writes Svyatogorets Seraphim to his friends from Moscow dated 1850, March 7. – Thanks to Bulgarin: he responded to my essay in the best possible way. Only the first part has been published, and the second is being printed. On Saturday at Maslenitsa I visited His Eminence Metropolitan Philaret. - he continues further in the same letter. “He received me extremely kindly, asked me a lot about the Holy Mountain, evaluated my letters and made his comments on them. I sat with him for about an hour. I hope to visit this brilliant man again, and more than once” (Letters of Svyatogorets. Part III. 1883. P. 24). It should be noted, however, that Metropolitan Philaret of Moscow did not hide to the author of the “Letters on the Holy Mount Athos” the shortcomings he noticed. The late Metropolitan did not like the excessive idealization in this book in describing the life of the Svyatogorsk monks, and mainly its language, which reminded him of the “language of magazines” of that time (Arch. Savva. Collection of opinions and reviews of Philaret, Metropolitan of Moscow. M., 1887. T. V. Part 1. P. 85), which, according to the concepts of Metropolitan Philaret, a true Puritan regarding the purity and decency of language when talking about sacred objects amounted to direct censure. Letters from Svyatogorets. M., 1883. Part III. pp. 33, 103–104. “I left Constantinople,” writes Fr. Seraphim, - March 3 (1851), at 4 pm; With me there were several Stary Oskol admirers, about whom it was published in the “Northern Bee” of the past 1850 that they were going as a group of 20 people, that they were taking an iconostasis with them to Mount Athos, and that among them there were painters. But this information is incomplete, because, in addition to the painter, there are excellent singers (6 people) among them. Some of these travelers are already on Mount Athos, and the painter and singers are with me. After this, you can imagine how fun my journey was in the friendly company of such people! Yes, I am very glad for my companions and thank God for the consolation that He gives me in them and in their harmonious singing (Letters of the Holy Mountain. Part III. P. 34). “Around Vespers we appeared on the neighboring heights of Russika, where we were immediately noticed by some of the brotherhood. The news of our appearance in sight of the monastery shocked the monks with inexpressible joy; for they had been expecting my arrival from Russia for more than a year from day to day. The brothers poured out of the port and walked towards us in orderly ranks. At this time, my companions - the singers and I jumped off our mules, huddled together and performed a concert, “Glory to God in the highest! came from our direction. The picturesque hills echoed our solemn sounds with their mountain echoes, to which Russik responded with his native greetings” (Ibid. p. 49). A letter from Mikhail Ivanovich from Odessa to his parents dated January 23, 185 1 had the following content: “Christ is in our midst! Most gracious sir, dear father Ivan Dionisievich! Most gracious empress, dearest mother Feodosya Petrovna! By the grace of God, hello in the Lord! I have the honor to inform you, dear and priceless parents! Having received permission, we are now heading abroad. So, dear parents, I fall at your feet and ask for your holy prayers and blessings as parting words, which I hope you will not abandon. Yes, will God still want us to meet in this earthly life? Be his holy will! And therefore, as a person throughout the entire time, perhaps, had some shortcomings against you with all his feelings and offended them, forgive me for God’s sake and bless me. Farewell, priceless and dear parents! Forgive me, dear fatherland and holy homeland! Forgive everything dear and dear to the heart! We will be separated by the vast expanse of water and land, and will Holy Providence deign the unworthy to reach the holy places and bring both gratitude for the gift of life and all being, and repentance for the past and present time spent in offending God with my nasty sins against religion and conscience, and again with real sight, will I be deigned to see you, most priceless father and mother? God knows! I kiss you and mentally embrace you. Your feelings have surely dissolved, and your spirit is listening to my appeals. It is sad and hard to work on earth, but hope in the Creator of the universe will overcome everything and will not leave you in a foreign land for the prayers of your parents. Farewell again! It’s already time that people are calling us beyond the line of Russia. And you, beloved parents, do not leave out in your holy prayers and blessings for strangers in a foreign land: about Mikhail and Evgraf, and if necessary, help us. And as we all walk under God’s authority, then, God knows, there is a new climate to which I am unaccustomed, and I will be destined to go into eternity, then, dear parents, what will need to be fulfilled according to religion - you will not refuse. And at the same time, perhaps, there will be some kind of afterlife note, then I humbly ask you to fulfill it in accordance with my dying message: it is very limited. I hope for you, parents, that you will not refuse. I demand in absentia your parental blessing and prayers forever and inviolably. I have the honor to express my deepest respect to you and wish you good health and all the best, while we, as much as we have the strength, will offer prayers for you at all holy places. I remain to you, dear sir and empress, humble servant and devoted son M. Sushkin.” This letter has been preserved in draft form, but without the end, which talks about death. It is characteristic in many respects and we have deliberately included it in its entirety. We hope to reproduce this portrait and attach it to our essay. Here, obviously, Fr. Macarius was misled by the guide. There is no doubt that in this case he was in an ordinary Turkish cemetery, with which only rumor connected the grave of the last of the Byzantine emperors. In a letter to his mother from Athos dated December 19, 1851, regarding his illness, he makes the following recollection of his complete journey: “It was God’s will: we passed through deserts, unbearable heat - God covered everything. It’s impossible to remember without horror if I had been ill there.” “I am sending Evgraf,” writes Fr. Macarius to his mother from Athos in February 1652, and with him the Jerusalem things, which I entrust to my brother, for in your years there is no time for work now. It’s your choice to give petty things to anyone.” But Feodosya Petrovna, mother of Fr. Makaria, personally “having sorted out these things, sent them to relatives and friends, and everyone was satisfied” (Letter dated April 24, 1852). Is it not this cross of “three trees” that Fr. Macarius in a letter to his father dated April 10, 1852? The parents “deigned to give the cross sent to them from Athos to the Church.” (Letter dated April 24, 1852). To my request to Fr. Pachomius to tell something about their journey with Fr. To Macarius at Sinai, he usually answered: “There is nothing special... Was he a monk? - I asked myself naively. Pachomius. “I traveled like all Orthodox laymen,” concluded Fr. Pachomius immediately conveyed something that directly indicated that Mikhail Ivanovich’s journey was special, unlike the journey of “ordinary laymen.” In a letter to his mother from Athos dated 1852, Fr. Macarius recommends Evgraf like this: “On the road he was a good companion for me,” and in a letter to her dated April 2 of the same year he writes: “I am grateful to him, he looked after me well.” You might be interested in: