Prayer for your damnation to St. Dimitri

(The humble Demetrius, Metropolitan of Rostov and Yaroslavl, wrote this for the benefit of his own damnation) I know that my ascent is leading to descent, life is shortening, youth is approaching old age. I live to die, but where I will live after death I don’t know. I flourish in youth, wither in old age, and decay in death. If I am mortal, then why do I live as if I were never supposed to die? If I die, then why doesn’t anger and the fall die in me? If I have to turn into dust and worms, into stench and stench, then why don’t I turn to good? If I am diligently tested and hear a cruel answer, then why do I not water all my members with tears and tremble with my whole body? So, I will go to the tomb with great sadness and illness of my heart and there I will see how my nature has been changed, my accursed body stinks from corruption, eaten by worms, and my bones have turned to dust. I will ask at my tomb and search diligently: where is the beauty of my face, where is the brightness of my eyes? Where is the floridness of sweet speech? Where are the glorious things? Where are my sweet and cheerful conversations with friends? Where is all the vanity of this world, the pleasure and adornment? But now I hear from my tomb: here, here, in this tomb; all your beauty is dust, ashes, worms and stench; look, look, he says, your beauty, look and diligently listen, kiss me, your coffin, hug me with love, for you will dwell in it until the Day of Judgment and await righteous judgment. When I get up and appear in court before the unhypocritical Judge and my God, what will I, unfortunate one, say then? Who will I resort to? What can I say in my defense? Oh, oh! Woe, woe! Alas, alas! After all, if the righteous can barely be saved there, then how can I, a great sinner, most vile and like a stinking dog, appear without a wedding robe? This is what I, having delved deeply, will read and then I will wet my face with tears, and I will earnestly begin to ask the Most Merciful God, my Creator: grant me, a great sinner, most filthy and like a stinking dog, forgiveness of my sins; grant me, by Thy ineffable goodness, to receive eternal life after my death, to joyfully rise together in body and soul, to be worthy of standing at Your right hand, to forever praise You continuously, through the prayers of my strong hope, our Most Holy Lady Theotokos and Ever-Virgin Mary, and all Your saints. Amen. And never forget the hour of death: If anyone does not remember death,