Two wings

According to the works of St. Joseph of Optina Venerable Joseph of Optina The Monk Joseph (in the world Ivan Litovkin) was born on November 2, 1837 in the Kharkov province, into a large family of a village mayor. As a child, he lost his parents, his quiet and calm life ended, and Ivan was forced to work in a tavern, grocery store, carry heavy loads, and accompany carts with goods. He was attacked by robbers, beaten by a cruel owner, fainted from hunger... But the rough, terrible life did not corrupt or embitter him: he retained within himself the desire for spiritual life, and his constant companion and comforter was prayer, which he learned from childhood. In 1861, at the age of 23, Ivan, on the advice of his sister, who was a nun, went to Optina Pustyn. His fellow travelers, two nuns, first of all upon arrival went to the Monk Ambrose and told the elder that they had brought “Brother Ivan” with them, jokingly calling the young man brother because of his monastic aspirations. The great elder, as usual, jokingly and perspicaciously replied: “This brother Ivan will be useful to both us and you,” as if seeing before him the future Optina elder and the benefit that he will bring in the future to both Optina itself and the convents. After a sorrowful life in the world, Ivan perceived the peace and quiet of the holy monastery as a priceless gift from God. Newly arrived workers, according to Optina customs, were sent to the refectory for humility to perform difficult and troublesome obedience. So “Brother Ivan” became an assistant cook, and the difficulties of this occupation were not a burden to him at all: the good qualities of his pure soul were immediately revealed in him, as if originally destined by the Lord for monastic life. Modesty, obedience, honesty, kindness, silence and love of prayer were good makings for a real monk. And these qualities did not go unnoticed: soon the novice was transferred as a cell attendant to the great elder Ambrose, and he lived in the elder’s hut for fifty years: thirty years next to the Monk Ambrose and twenty after his death, when Father Joseph himself was already an elder. The young novice found himself at the very center of spiritual life: a huge number of people came to the holy elder, seeking spiritual advice and guidance. Ivan had to endure numerous temptations, which sometimes happened by accident, and sometimes on purpose, as a test. The senior cell attendant, stern and gloomy, often reprimanded him, sometimes unfairly. And all this was a school of patience, through which the young novice learned humility and self-reproach - he already knew that injustice, endured kindly, complacently, accepted as from the hand of God, gives a person peace and tranquility and joy in the Lord. Thus, over the course of many years, the future elder gained the experience of spiritual asceticism. In 1872 he was tonsured a monk with the name Joseph, and in 1884 he was ordained a hieromonk. Elder Ambrose began to advise visitors to contact their senior cell attendant. Leaving for the Shamordino Monastery shortly before his death, the Monk Ambrose blessed Father Joseph, who had been his first assistant for thirty years, to become the confessor of the Optina Pustyn. For twelve years, the Monk Joseph was the head of the Optina monastery, the confessor of the Optina brethren and Shamordino sisters, and spiritually cared for the inhabitants of other monasteries and many lay people. He became one of the great elders, pillars and lamps of Optina Pustyn, who replaced the Monks Ambrose and Hilarion. Elder Joseph did not have long conversations with anyone, being able to express the most important things in a few words, to instruct and console. The power of his grace-filled prayer was higher and more precious than any words, attracting the hearts of people to him. And this despite the fact that he never studied any secular sciences... He himself once said about it this way: He who has conquered passions and acquired spiritual intelligence has access to everyone’s heart without external education. Despite poor health and backbreaking labor, he did not allow himself any indulgences: he was a strict faster until the end of his life, slept very little, and wore only modest, old clothes. In April 1911, the elder finally fell ill, his illness gradually intensified, and on May 9/22 he quietly departed to the Lord. The memory of the Monk Joseph of Optina is celebrated on the day of his death - May 22 (new style). Thank God for everything, He does everything for the good of our salvation. When we doze off, He gives a push so that we wake up from the sleep of oblivion, negligence, and when we get too carried away with something, He also sends a push so that we slow down our speed a little. The Holy Fathers said: the royal path is beautiful, that is, it is not quiet and not very slow. To pray with self-compulsion is in our will, but to pray with tenderness depends on God. We must pray the prayer that we can, and for self-compulsion God will give tenderness in due time, when it pleases Him. Prayer is the food of the soul. He who prays more and more attentively has more soul and strength to endure sorrows. The Holy Fathers advise doing prayer with attention, with a feeling of repentance for your sins. And such a prayer is correct. And you don’t need to imagine anything in your mind, and if you imagine something, then don’t pay the slightest attention to it. Protect yourself from proud thoughts with humble thoughts. Get used to prayer here in order to glorify God in eternity. You shouldn’t type in a lot of rules, but you should do everything to the best of your ability. And God does not demand anything from us beyond our strength. Determine a feasible rule for yourself and always stick to it. Even if the rule is short, just try to follow it with attention. Otherwise, sometimes you’ll pray for a long time, and another time you’ll oversleep. With a feasible rule, you won’t be embarrassed. Use the spiritual sword against unclean thoughts—the name of God. When the heart is joyful and calm, then even without a holiday there is a holiday in the soul. If absolutely necessary Health and life should be valued, for it is a gift from God. And if there is an extreme need somewhere, then, of course, one should sacrifice both health and life. Taking care of the good upbringing of children, caring for the old and infirm - all these are works of mercy commanded by the Lord to us Christians. For this, He promises a reward to those who do His commandments, saying: Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy (Matthew 5:7). Reading the Psalter for Babies and Suicides Although they do not read the Psalter for infants who have died, if they read it, there is nothing contrary. Regarding suicides, the rules of the Holy Church prohibit reading. However, here you need to look at the reasons why suicide was committed: maybe the person was not in his right mind or, due to his youth, could not understand the severity of sin, and the like. Sorrow and consolation. Both are necessary in the spiritual life for learning. The Lord punishes the first, so that they are admonished and corrected, and the second, he consoles and encourages, so that they do not lose heart. Thank God for everything! Try to live with God’s help, pay close attention to yourself and force yourself to do everything good and pleasing to God, avoid everything bad and sinful, preserve and take care of yourself, do not be proud of yourself, do not grumble, do not envy, do not notice the misdeeds of others and do not condemn anyone, but reproach yourself for faults, and condemn, and consider yourself the worst and last of all. But do not be discouraged and do not lose heart, but take courage and be strong, and you will find peace and tranquility of soul. And often ask yourself: “Lord, give me patience, generosity, meekness, humility, obedience, and submission to the will of God.” And say the Jesus Prayer more often and “Rejoice to the Virgin Mary.” Read fatherly books for guidance, consolation, and admonition. And less idle talk. And we must not be embarrassed, but be patient. It is said in the Gospel: Save your souls through your patience (Luke 21:19), and he who endures to the end will be saved (Matthew 10:22). We must force ourselves to do everything good and useful, because it is said in the Gospel that the Kingdom of Heaven is taken by force, and those who use force take it away (Matthew 11:12). We must always keep in mind the fear of God, and the fear of death, and the fear of future torment. And don’t be proud, and don’t envy, and don’t complain, and don’t condemn anyone, and reproach yourself more, and condemn yourself, and consider yourself the worst and last of all, and be merciful and condescending towards people, and strict, attentive and careful towards yourself in everything. When you see that you are not correcting yourself, but are only adding sins to sins, then you must try to repent of them. Hurry to reveal the wounds of your soul before the Lord and seek healing and forgiveness. And if, after forgiveness, you fall back into the same situation, again resort to repentance, and so on until the end. And God, seeing your work, your repentance, will not leave you without His help and mercy. If He commanded us to forgive a repentant brother up to seventy times seventy times (Matthew 18:22), then will He not Himself give us more forgiveness when we resort to Him in repentance? And that passions do not recede, this is according to God’s will. The holy fathers write that passions and falls humble a person, bring him into contrition of heart, and thereby attract God’s mercy to him. Of course, we must avoid and avoid sin with all our might, for if we ourselves, through our own negligence, fall into sins, we will only deserve greater condemnation. And let us cleanse those things that happen involuntarily or due to our weakness through repentance. Avoid pride, for it is the cause of many and severe falls. Humble yourself, reproach yourself, consider yourself the last and worst of all, do not condemn anyone - then you will receive God’s mercy. Just as clothes are cleaned of dust: first they shake them enough, then they beat them with a stick, so you try to cleanse your soul, which is not only dusty, but, it seems, covered in dirt. They remember the dirt, and remember yourself with patience, prick yourself with abstinence like a stick, and shake it with humility, and dress in it - then you will be a nun not only in clothes, but in the spirit of Christ. Hurry to come to church before every service begins, and do not leave until the end, otherwise you will not receive God’s grace to help you and you will always have a petrified insensibility of heart. During the service, try not to miss anything that is read or sung, otherwise you will be absent-minded. You yourself know what is bad and what is good, and therefore try to stick to the good and shy away from the bad. Always ask for God’s help, for it is said: without Me you can do nothing (John 15:5). You write that you cannot refrain from sins - this is not true. When you know that thieves are put in prison, then you are afraid to steal - in the same way, restrain yourself from other sins through fear. Ask God for help. At first it will be difficult to fight sin, but then it will be easy. Consider yourself worthless and worse than everyone in the world, never condemn anyone for anything and forgive everyone, and then you will be saved without difficulty. But the judges, and the vindictive, and the proud, even if they pray, even if they fast, even if they give out money - if they do not correct themselves, then they have no and will not have a place in Heaven, but they will go to hell to the demons to be tormented forever without end. There are two paths: the narrow and sorrowful path, strait, leading to the Kingdom of Heaven; and there is a broad path that leads to destruction, which very many follow. Try to live as God commands, and not as “everyone else lives,” because the whole world lies in evil, and also remember: many are called, but few are chosen (Luke 14:24). Our enemy the devil attacks you with melancholy and other passions because you do not want to submit to him, and when you submit, it will be even worse - to be his slave. If you live carelessly and improve little, then think more often about who you are, why you came, how you live. If there is shame and repentance at the same time, then the Lord mercifully accepts this and imputes it to us instead of doing it. You just need to be more humble. Arrogant thoughts come, and it is impossible for them not to come. But they need to resist with thoughts of humility, as you do, remembering your sins and various shortcomings. Continue to do so. And always remember that our entire earthly life must be spent in the fight against evil. In addition to considering your shortcomings, you can also practice humility 1: “I have nothing good of mine, and I do not have any advantages of my own. My body is not mine, it was created by God in my mother’s womb. The soul was given to me from the Lord. Therefore, all mental and physical abilities are gifts of God. And my property is only my countless sins, with which I have daily angered and anger the mercy of the Lord. What should I be vain and proud of after this? Nothing." And with such reflections, prayerfully ask for mercy from the Lord. In all sinful inclinations, there is only one cure - sincere repentance and humility. There is no need to be bored and grieve because you are not in church due to illness - this happens by the will of God, and not by your will. Say a prayer while sitting or lying down - this is the church for you. Yes, thank the Lord for your illness and bear it with patience. You grieve, you lose heart. Why is this so? Where is there such a commandment? Did the Lord say in the Holy Gospel: lose heart! After all, this is not the case. On the contrary, the Merciful Lord wants everyone to be saved and to come to an understanding of the truth. And you lose heart. How unreasonable this is! We must not lose heart, but in everything, in everything, reproach ourselves for negligence, and humbly repent before the Lord, and hope for God’s mercy. According to the word of God, we should all always prepare for the transition to eternal life, and sick people like you should take special care of this. You should not be embarrassed by how you will appear before the Lord, such a great sinner. For the Lord came to earth not for the sake of the righteous, but for the sake of sinners, in order to attract them to repentance. Repentance and humility, non-judgment of neighbors and self-reproach atone for all sins. Learn to be silent anymore, then you will not sin and condemn. Try not to be idle, because idleness is the mother of every vice, including despondency and despair. Be patient with everything, thank God for everything, and you will always have peace of mind. Sorrows lead to heaven! This is how God arranged it to cleanse sins and prevent major transgressions and to obtain an eternally joyful, blissful life in heaven. And you are offended by God because He seems to be forcibly dragging you to heaven; but you often, often compare these short-lived sorrows with the endless fiery torments of hell that you have earned through your sins. Come to your senses and say: “Lord, I thank you for your sorrows. These sorrows are not enough for me, a sinner, send me more of them, just deliver me from eternal torment and endless torment.” If you keep your belly from satiety and pleasure, and your body from excessive rest, the Lord will soon help you work more for your soul than for your body. You will give an answer to the Lord for yourself; and therefore be careful not to please the body too much, otherwise you will prepare for it eternal fire. You confess your sins and absent-mindedness and say that you feel bored. That’s why you get bored because your conscience is unclean and you lack caution. You need to be more attentive to yourself. Learn to humble yourself - and you will always be calm and grateful to those people who reproach you for the benefit of your soul. Get used to thanking God for everything, and you will be saved. We need to pray more diligently, as the Canaanite woman prayed (Matthew 15:22–28). Some say: yes, we pray, but our prayers are not fulfilled... But you, no matter what, continue to pray, as the holy apostles prayed: “Lord, save us, we are perishing,” or like a blind man (Luke 18:35-43)... Do not be discouraged, but continue to pray. To feel our sins is a gift that is given to us from God. Confess your sins not to the priest, but to the Lord Himself, only without concealment, from the bottom of your heart. The priest represents the mediator between you and God, and therefore the benefit of confession depends on your sincerity. Sins can be difficult for us, and when we get rid of them, we will not only receive relief in our current life, but also the hope of God’s mercy will rejoice our souls. I wish you to improve and not judge anyone, know yourself - and it will be done for you. Saint Ephraim the Syrian also prayed: “Lord, grant me to see my sins and not condemn my brother.” Let us also imitate him. And silently, and sometimes with our lips, we will continually cry out in the sinful heart, imitating the blind man of Jericho: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me.” If, through weakness, you somehow sin, then, without wasting time, make a start for correction, calling on God’s mercy to help you: “Lord, have mercy and help me to correct myself.” The Kingdom of God is taken by force, and no one has received it without coercion. You must endure the hardships of others, and to do this, ask the Lord for patience. Try to get rid of your various passions, and when your heart becomes peaceful towards everyone, then life will be easy everywhere. He who is angry and hates his brother in vain is, according to the word of the holy Apostle, a murderer (1 John 3:15). We need to pray for those who offend us and for those who for some reason do not like us, following the example of the Savior Himself. Whoever does not bear his cross patiently, without grumbling, will not enter where our Cross-Bearer, the Lord Jesus Christ, entered. Two villains were crucified near Jesus Christ: one for self-condemnation was the first to enter heaven, and the second for murmuring, blasphemy, and impatience went to hell - so we, sinners, like robbers, can either be saved or perish. Life on earth will pass like a dream, and therefore, for the sake of eternal bliss, be patient, for the passions of the present century are unworthy of the glory that will be revealed in the next century. Everyone endured, and the Lord Himself endured so much for us, so won’t we endure for ourselves? If there are no occasions for patience, then salvation is not reliable. Try to preserve your sight, hearing and tongue, and when the desire to judge someone comes, then judge yourself without justifying anything. Humility is born from self-reproach, and the evil one will not do anything to the humble with his evil deeds, for humility alone can escape all the devil’s snares spread throughout the world, as was said from heaven to Saint Anthony the Great. You cannot immediately change for the better, and therefore you should not be embarrassed by your spiritual imperfection. According to the proverb: “Fish are caught in troubled waters” - and the devil attacks the foolish with confusion, so that it is easier to later catch them into his will. May the Lord help you fight passions and cleanse your heart from them. We need to humble ourselves more, and recognize our weakness, and ask the Lord for help. We must also resist passion with all our might and move away from what excites passion. We must have the fear of God and remember that not a single thought is hidden from God. Envy interferes with peace of mind. Reproach yourself more. The cause of envy is pride. For pride, remember, all your labors and exploits are all lost. The proud have no place in heaven, but in hell with demons. Think about it carefully. For condemnation, reproach, rancor and pride, no one will be an heir to the Kingdom of God. If he does not correct himself, then he will not escape fiery Gehenna. There is no need to argue, because sometimes great hostility emerges through argument. It is said: he is great before God who humbly yields to his neighbor; and God exalts the humble, and God humbles the proud and obstinate. You only need to reproach yourself, and not your neighbor, for your shortcomings. Only the prudent thief has no sorrows, but he is in heaven, and we are in a deplorable vale, so for us, while we are clothed in mortal flesh, it is natural for us to grieve and even cry about the cruel sins we have committed. And only by weeping, and only by prayer, and only by sincere repentance will we reach that blessed country in which the prudent thief is now located (Luke 23:39-43). Then we will have no sorrows. That there were no sensitive sorrows, thank God for that, who covers you, but do not indulge in carelessness. The holy fathers write that the Lord sends sorrows to some at the beginning, to others in the middle of the journey, and to others at the end of the race according to His wise Providence. Give thanks for the past, and surrender the future to the will of God. Tribulation is necessary for us. For our salvation the Lord sends them in proportion to our strength, and no sorrow can befall us without the will and permission of God. Believe this without doubt, for this is the teaching of the holy fathers about sorrows. You should also rejoice when you see increasing sorrows, for they are considered a sign of God’s providence for man. Which person lives without sorrow? It is not for nothing that our earthly life is called the vale of tears. With a change in life, sorrows can only change, but this cannot make it any easier, but on the contrary, sorrows can worsen, as the ancient people said: if you run from a wolf, you will attack a bear. And our Lord Jesus Christ in the Holy Gospel nowhere commanded his followers to avoid sorrows, but always taught patience... and called blessed those who endure reproach, persecution and all kinds of sorrows. And all the saints of God achieved eternal life through a sorrowful path. Through unpleasant incidents we learn that we are impatient, and if we are impatient, it means we are proud. And this knowledge should dispose us to self-reproach and repentance, and we must prayerfully ask the Lord for mercy. Without unpleasant incidents, a person is always prone to conceit. Passions can be cured through patience and work, and most importantly through the help of God, which is bestowed upon the humble. But we must remember that passions do not suddenly erupt, but it requires work and time, and therefore we should not be embarrassed when passions arise in us, but pray, repent to God, ask for help and, most of all, humble ourselves. Also, when you are absent-minded, you need to work and force yourself and call on God’s help. If you happen to give in, then rather repent and not be embarrassed. It is not our efforts, not our labors, not time that delivers us from passions, but the grace of God, which is bestowed only on the humble. Always remember this and never rely on yourself, even if passion has not bothered you for many years, for both the miracle workers and the great fasters were suddenly defeated and overthrown by passion. But always spend your life between fear and hope, calling on the Lord for help and humbling yourself in every possible way. Against thoughts of condemnation, it is good to pray the prayer of St. Ephraim the Syrian: “Lord, grant me to see my sins and not condemn my brother” or my sister... When your mental state changes, don’t be surprised, it’s necessary. And our sinfulness shows us, and encourages us to be vigilant, and leads us to humility. You shouldn’t be embarrassed at all, but reproach yourself and humble yourself. Sometimes, for vanity or even for merely mentally judging others, warmth is taken away from the heart. Attention and tenderness during prayer are not the fruit of your efforts and efforts, but a gift of God’s grace. But God comes on its own, in its own time, when you don’t wait, as the holy fathers teach, only the Lord looks to see if your heart and soul are ready to receive the gift? And this preparation consists in contrition of the heart and humility of thoughts and soul. We must be forced to say prayer with contrition of heart, with humility, with the goal of repentance, and nothing more. There is little difference between sins and transgressions - we will be responsible for everything if we do not repent. The enemy of our salvation is vigilantly watching us in order to somehow hinder our entry into the heavenly abodes. The main weapons of the evil one are absent-mindedness, forgetfulness, carelessness, and over-concern about the present age. But whoever wants to gain the Kingdom of Heaven, then for him the yoke of Christ is good and His burden is light (Matthew 11:30). The Holy Fathers advise especially carefully watching your heart after the holy great Sacrament of Communion of the Body and Blood of Christ, because then the evil of the devil multiplies due to the fact that the communicant from his slave becomes the heir of the Kingdom of Heaven; the same bitterness appears in the evil one when a person receives spiritual improvement. Seeing his special temptations, do not be discouraged, but endure and fight, for for such heaviness you will receive a special reward. The Holy Fathers teach this: whoever doesn’t listen to you, don’t tell him. You complain about absent-mindedness, that you cannot always pray attentively... Yes, no one living on earth can always pray attentively. This, according to the remark of St. John Climacus, is characteristic only of Angels. Evil boils in everyone's soul. This comes from pride and vanity. From self-indulgence and from immoderate exploits only embarrassment and harm come, and not benefit. There is no need to pay attention to disturbing thoughts, but rather try to say a prayer. Embarrassment and consolation inseparably follow, and we must endure this. There is a difference between partial love and pure love. The first is with a passionate feeling in the heart, with the movement of blood, with obscene thoughts, and the second is quiet and peaceful. Where there is peace, there is God, and where there is the devil, there is confusion. How could we be humble if we constantly felt spiritual consolations? So the Lord takes them away from us so that we can see our poverty and spiritual nakedness. Who can be right before the Lord? And the Lord does not seek sinlessness from us, but seeks repentance from us with the consciousness of our sinfulness and self-reproach. According to the remark of people experienced in spiritual life, if during such prayer a person feels silence and peace of thoughts, then this state is a gift of God’s grace, and if at this time bows interfere, then you can leave them. But you must remember that this is a gift from God, and not the fruit of your labors and efforts. The Lord will delight a person with His grace, and then leaves the person with his weak strength, so that, firstly, he sees his insignificance, and secondly, so that he does not become lazy, but works with self-compulsion, seeking and asking for grace. It is not the money that is to blame, but the addiction to money. You never know there were kings and princes who lived in wealth. But since they had no addiction to wealth, they ended up among the saints, as evidenced by their incorruptible relics. You can live in extreme poverty and at the same time have an addiction or heartfelt attachment to wealth, and through this alone the soul can perish if a person does not repent of this sin during his lifetime. It is also possible, on the contrary, to have money and not be partial to it, that is, whether it is there or not, a person is indifferent - then money will not interfere with his salvation. Alms should be given to those in need according to one’s strength and ability. The Monk Barsanuphius the Great says: “If someone does not give a needy person what he himself needs, he will not sin.” The word “obedience” has a double meaning: in the first, obedience as a virtue, 2 and in the second, the very work that the novice does, which we usually also call obedience. It sometimes happens that a novice exactly fulfills the task entrusted to him and at the same time does not have the virtue of obedience. And this happens when, while carefully carrying out a task, he grumbles, gets angry and condemns those who entrusted him with the task. In this case, there is only one external obedience without internal. This is the same as a body without a soul - a rotting, stinking corpse. One should combine external obedience with internal, that is, accept commands from those in authority, as from the Lord Himself, and carry them out in simplicity of heart, without anger and grumbling, even if it is contrary to the desire and heartfelt disposition of the novice. Then the virtue of obedience will appear. And since, according to the remark of the holy fathers, humility is born from true obedience, then with obedience humility will not be slow to show itself. Yet this is not acquired suddenly and not in a short time, but after many years, with constant attention to oneself, and constant self-motivation to do good, and with fervent prayer to the Lord for help. For the Lord said: Without Me you can do nothing (John 15:5). He who notices his exploits and counts his efforts falls into pride. And whoever sees only his own sins and repents of them receives God’s mercy, as the Lord indicated in the parable of the publican and the Pharisee. Thinking about passionate thoughts and sorting them out only strengthens them. We should never lose hope for salvation, due to the mercy of God, who forgives our sins in repentance, but we should not rely too much either. Between fear and hope there must be our salvation in order not to become negligent, but to overcome our negligence through the fear of punishment. God's help comes on its own in extreme circumstances, namely, when a person dies. Usually, God's grace and help are sought through humble, earnest prayer. And zeal comes when a person forces himself. God took away the sins of the whole world. Believe that your mistakes will drown in the abyss of Divine love for mankind. Only at the same time try to keep your mind and heart from the food of the old man 3. But if you ever have to partake of the forbidden fruit, such as anger, rage, condemnation, then do not justify yourself, as Eve said to God: “The serpent has tempted the measure, which means he is to blame, but what do I care” (Gen. 3:13). Words of self-praise and self-justification always conceal disobedience and pride, which God abhors. Hope in God's mercy is the fruit of repentance, and where there is confusion and despair, then there is not true repentance. Feelings of reverence should always be hidden; this should not be done for show. Constant consolation relaxes the soul and leads it to laziness, and even to greater harm. Therefore, the Lord soon takes away the consolation and makes us again feel our weakness, powerlessness, and sinfulness. We must humble ourselves more, reproach ourselves, bring repentance for our sins and not desire consolations, but endure indulgences with patience. And for vanity, dryness and cooling are tolerated. You look here and there - everywhere sorrow does not give rest, enemies visible and invisible... Here our mother Church gives consolation: we see the Infant of our Lord Jesus Christ in the manger and the Mother of God standing, then we hear the song as the Angels sang: Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will towards men! What peace, quiet, dispassionate light, holy love emanates from this sacred song! When you listen to her, everything rebellious, passionate, and vain in your soul calms down. O our Savior! How we long for silence, and peace of mind, and consolation... So the Lord calls us: Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. And to receive peace, learn from Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart (Matthew 11:28–29). So this is where the peace and quiet haven is - in humility!.. Those who marry out of passion are most often unhappy in life. There is no need to think that you are living in vain and will not receive the Kingdom of Heaven, but you must hope in God’s mercy and force yourself to do good deeds, and especially to humility and repentance. Circumstances of our life How circumstances have worked out is how we should live, because the circumstances around us are not arranged simply, by chance, as many of our modern, new-fangled wise men think, but everything is done to us by the Providence of God, constantly caring for our spiritual salvation. It’s good to see your sins and shortcomings, and not your imaginary virtues and imaginary righteousness. Being curious about other people's thoughts is sinful and can be harmful. This should not be allowed. You need to run away from vanity, and not indulge in it. If they praise you, then mentally remember your sins and negligence. May the Lord deliver you from vanity. Fight against him and ask the Lord for help. But remember that it does not leave the ascetic until the very grave. Therefore, one must always arm oneself with humility against the manifestation of vanity. There is nothing to be afraid of about slander. Let them slander what they want. It's good that there is no truth in their words. Just don’t hold grudges against those who offend you. Endure despondency with humility - this is from the evil one, you must endure for salvation. Don’t judge others, otherwise this can lead to despondency. The Lord allows weakness and laziness to contribute to our humility, so that we do not boast, but always remain in a feeling of repentance, and this is the most reliable state - constant contrition of the heart. Laziness intercedes torment for the soul. If laziness attacks, then you need to force yourself. Otherwise, once you succumb to laziness, another time, it will be difficult to control yourself afterwards. Try not to listen to idle words, learn to say prayers silently - so the words won’t penetrate your ears. There is no need to be embarrassed by passions, but one must recognize one’s weakness and shortcomings and bring repentance to the Lord. And try more to humble yourself, otherwise pride comes from our autocracy, and we must reflect it. We must ask for patience, help, and most of all humility. But one should not ask for death or another cross - this is sinful. Patience is required everywhere, for, according to the word of the Lord, he who endures to the end will be saved (Matthew 10:22). And if there are no sorrows and nothing to endure, then why save us? After all, the Kingdom of Heaven is not given to those lying on their sides, but only to those who work and endure sorrow. Look at the Beatitudes - and you will see at what height blessed complacency stands in enduring sorrows and reproaches. Saint Pimen the Great places grateful patience on the same level as true asceticism and obedience in a clear conscience. In church you should read in your natural voice and evenly, without any changes. I don’t know, maybe you like these quirks in your voice, but you know; but only from this there will always be vanity. God does not need our beautiful voice, but attention to reading and reverence is needed - that’s how we should read. The words of the Holy Spirit that you read influence those around you more powerfully than all your overflows. When obstacles are encountered on the path of salvation, we must humble ourselves and ask God for help. Humility is better than vain virtue. To be comforted spiritually, you must have patience - it gives consolation, and remember the name of the Lord even more often: you remember God and rejoice. And from our lips constantly comes condemnation, grumbling, reproach of others, not ourselves, and empty idle talk. From everything that has been said, it is clear that we do not receive any consolation and even hinder our salvation. It is still impossible to do without sorrows. But with unanimity with a loved one, sorrows are alleviated. For, according to the proverb, hand washes hand, that is, one supports the other. If you do not endure sorrows, or even if you do endure it, only with grumbling, with anger, with vexation, with irritation, what kind of patience is this? This is only the rooting of malice, anger, and from this - pride. Blessed is the man who recognizes his weakness, because this knowledge becomes for him the foundation, root and beginning of eternal goodness (God's mercy). As soon as someone recognizes and truly feels his weakness, he raises his soul from the relaxation that darkens knowledge, and reserves himself with caution. But no one can feel his weakness unless at least a small temptation is allowed upon him by something that tires either the body or the soul. Listen to what Saint John Climacus writes about temptations. It is known that for those who strive there is a time of dispassion and there is a time of victory over the passions due to the infancy of those who struggle; there is a time of tears and a time of dryness of heart, there is a time of obedience and a time of command, there is a time of fasting and there is a time of eating. There is a time of physical warfare and a time of extinguishing kindling, a time of spiritual storm and a time of mental silence, a time of heartfelt sadness and a time of spiritual joy... - in a word, everything has its time under heaven. So, let not proud zeal deceive us, urging us to seek ahead of time what will come in due time. Let us not seek in winter what belongs to summer, nor during sowing what belongs to the harvest. There is a time to sow labors and there is a time to reap the ineffable gifts of grace. Otherwise, in due time we will not receive what is proper and characteristic of that time. And here is the word for you from Saint Isaac the Syrian. This is what happens in our work: sometimes there is warfare, sometimes there is help from grace; sometimes the soul is overwhelmed and cruel waves rise up against it, and changes occur again, because grace visits and fills a person’s heart with joy, peace from God, chaste and peaceful thoughts. Saint Mark points to thoughts of chastity, letting those understand that before them there were bestial and unclean thoughts, and gives advice, saying: “If these chaste thoughts are followed by an impulse, let us not grieve and despair, but accept it as natural and characteristic of us. And let us not give in to despair like a person who expects something for a feat, even perfect and unchangeable peace.” And know that all this, to our humility, was brought upon us by God’s Providence, which provides for each of us and arranges what is useful for everyone. Finally, know that it is not your job and not your virtue’s to resist; this will be accomplished by the grace that carries you in the palm of its hand, so that you do not fall into fear or despair. The main thing in our salvation is to have courage, that is, to try by all means to force ourselves to do every good thing, and to pay less attention to weaknesses. Various infirmities and boredom are the grandchildren of laziness and carelessness. We need to have patience, humility, and self-reproach in every endeavor. Repentance is higher than all virtues. But in the hope of God’s mercy and repentance, one should not continue to sin. Such people are suddenly snatched away by death. And having sinned, you should not despair. It is common for angels not to fall, for people to fall and get up soon, and for demons to never rise. Whoever does not lose heart from the occasional falls will be praised by the Angels as a brave warrior! The angels rejoice in heaven over one sinner who repents. And the Savior says that He came to save sinners and that the sick require a doctor, not the healthy. God judges repentance not by the measure of work, but by the measure of humility (Luke 18:10–14). Some took upon themselves labors and exploits in order to receive forgiveness, but a person who does not remember evil got ahead of them, for the word is true: if you forgive a little, you will be forgiven a lot (Luke 6:37; 1 Cor. 13:1–8:13). If you don’t endure grief, then illness will come, then you will inevitably endure it if you don’t want to of your own free will. After all, the Lord does not want man to perish. He saves in different ways. Where there is self-reproach, there is humility, there is salvation. Whatever your conscience reproaches you with, you must guard against it like fire. Don’t be lazy to pray with the humility of a publican, otherwise, neither fasting, nor prayer, nor giving money will help the soul. In the matter of salvation, an example of this is the Evangelical Pharisee. He fasted, prayed, gave alms, but thought highly of himself, and condemned and reproached others. And all his virtues disappeared, that is, fasting, prayer, alms (Luke 18:10-14). From intemperance, and pride, and self-willed life, all vile shamelessness is born in our mortal flesh. The dumb beast even knows the measure and time of every need, only one person, having darkened his mind, rages, forgetting his place and rank. A soul hungry for wealth will never be satisfied. Although she will acquire whole mountains of gold, even then she will not be at peace, but will be tormented by the thirst to acquire even more. And the more he acquires, the stingier he becomes. So it is said: “The love of money is the root of all evil.” It is necessary, with pain, to force oneself to virtue. Bear one another's burdens, and thus fulfill the law of Christ (Gal.6:2). Pray for one another so that we may escape the snare of the devil. We all have weaknesses, and everyone has their own weakness: some have one, but you have another... Of course, any disorder is indignant, but look carefully: again, again you will find that this indignation comes mostly from our impatience, forgetfulness of our sinfulness and lack of faith in God’s help; that a person sins all his life and can repent in one hour. This is our misfortune, that we see only the sin of our neighbor, but do not see his repentance. This is our spiritual blindness. We must pray more often and more earnestly: “Lord, let me see my sins and not condemn my brother.” God knows how to humble and save us, as long as we at least do not resist God and are fully aware that we are truly worthy of any punishment. Wisdom rests not only in gray hair, but in the spirit of meekness, experience and reason. What kind of ascetics we are, where we perform spiritual deeds: all-night prayer, fasting... If you look at yourself, look into yourself, you will not find anything good in any corner, so for all sorts of reptiles: passions, pride, vanity, conceit - there is a lot of room in our heart, and the Sweetest Jesus has nowhere to lay his head. And so He, the Gracious Knower of the Heart, does not see in us a strong will for good, but everything that is weak and cowardly. But He does not want the destruction of His creation, although a sinner, and sends illnesses and sorrows, and through them every Christian soul is cleansed of sins, if at the same time it thanks God for the illnesses, and repents of sins, and endures with submission to the will of God. Our offenders are our first spiritual benefactors: they awaken us from spiritual sleep. Monastic life requires the main thing - cutting off your will. A monk, if he is not skilled in many obediences, cannot be skilled in spiritual work. Through obedience one acquires virtues: patience, meekness, self-reproach, knowledge of one’s weaknesses, etc.... So, brother, surrender to the will of God and the will of the abbot, and cast away your own, and then you will see peace for your soul. Force yourself to think about the future life, about death, about eternal torment, do not be afraid of despair, because due to the infancy of the mind, often the fear of God for the eternal fate of the soul is called despair and they try by all means to get rid of this saving feeling. In this case, you will involuntarily remember the instructions of St. Anthony the Great, who calls reasoning the highest virtue. By reading, carefully reading the patristic scriptures, learn the way of salvation, in other words, become wise in salvation. If you are afraid of death, then you must try to prepare for it and cleanse your sins through repentance and confession. If there is something unconfessed in the soul, then it certainly must be confessed. Death will come, for which carefully clean your spiritual cell and show the fragrant incense of diligent prayer. God will judge repentance not by the measure of work, but by the measure of humility. On that day God will judge us for not repenting! There is great joy for the angels in heaven over one sinner who repents. Let us pray: “Lord, have mercy, Lord, grant me humility and meekness and, according to the fate (as you know), save me, Lord.” And the Lord, in His mercy, will have mercy and save us all with His grace. Every day and hour make a beginning for correction, and the God of mercy, philanthropy and generosity will give us His helping hand, like the holy Apostle Peter, drowning in the waves of the sea. While the Lord has not yet taken away this life, we will be omnipotently compelled to be saved. If everything ended with death, then, it seems, there would be nothing else, but the trouble is that after death, endless torment will begin for the careless, so severe that it is impossible to imagine that grief. If the saints who achieved dispassion were vigilant towards themselves so as not to fall from their state of grace, then all the more do we sinners need daily attention and care for our eternal salvation. The fact that we are still alive means that the Lord tolerates our sins and awaits our correction, and if someone legitimately works for salvation, then the Lord takes him at the time when he becomes worthy of God’s mercy. Death takes the lazy and careless after they stop giving any hope for their salvation. We are given the freedom to choose eternal joy or sorrow; Let's try to choose the first one. Coldness and contempt on the part of others can only serve to our spiritual benefit, that is, to humility and patience. With these two wings we can fly from earth to heaven: we will endure, we will humble ourselves - and we will be saved. To be humble is to show wisdom with humility, that is, without judging anyone, without pride (high self-esteem), without the desire to rise above other people. Virtues are here: good qualities of the soul, such as spiritual peace, Gospel love, mercy, patience, humility, meekness, silence, temperance, goodness, etc. The old man is the inner sinful essence of a person, which in every Christian must be overcome ("scavenged") and replaced with a completely new, spiritually and morally healthy essence. You might be interested in: