Слезное моление в субботу вечером 1-е

Until now, and on this very day, with my face ashamed and bowed to the ground, I dare to proclaim to You, Lord of Angels and Creator of all things, and I am earth and ashes, “the reproach of men and the humiliation of people,” truly “a worm, and not a man” (Ps. 21:7), I am condemned, sick and filled with despondency. How can I lift my gaze to Your goodness, Master? How dare I move a profane and defiled tongue? How will I begin my confession? I have insulted Your name beyond measure, and I have lived more prodigal than the prodigal son, I have desecrated and damaged Your image in myself, I have not kept the voice of Your commandments. For what sins will I, a sinner, first ask for remission? Was it done with knowledge and undoubtedly inexcusable, or in the transgression of Thy holy commandments, or in consenting to evil thoughts? I know, Lord, that because of the multitude of my spiritual defilements and because of my uncleanness, I am not worthy to be called by Your terrible name, I cannot stand before You in prayer, I cannot look “and see ... the heights” of heaven (Is. 40:26), because I opened the door to obscene lusts and, indulging in disorderly aspirations, desecrated my poor soul with passions, and denigrated my poor soul with evil will. soulful chiton; my whole mind is filled with demonic thoughts; With all my deeds and thoughts I have grieved and always grieve Your goodness, and I always please my enemy, who fights against me, and do what is pleasant. My conscience denounces my mind, I cover my face with shame in my heart, before the Judgment that awaits me I condemn myself. I am triumphantly dragged along by the prodigal life that does not leave me, because I am always mired in the mire of gluttony, always entangled in bad thoughts, from childhood I became a vessel of pernicious sin, and to this day, hearing daily about Judgment and reward, I do not want to resist carnal lusts, but I constantly fall into error, I constantly become a captive. Woe is me, Lord! I have squandered Your long-suffering. Alas for me! For many years I have offended Your Holy Spirit. Alas for me! The time of my life passed in all sorts of vanity. But You, Lord, do not expose me in Your wrath and do not expose my hated, shameful deeds to worldwide disgrace, before all Angels and men, to my shame and eternal condemnation, for I am worthy of all shame and condemnation. How can I pay for the blindness of my soul? How can I pay for such ignorance? How can I pay for such a passionate and unrepentant will? The ascetics rest in peace today, comforted by the Holy Spirit, but I am restless, complaining about the misery that is caused by my negligence. I was related to senseless cattle and became like them. I have become naked, accursed, through my laziness, because I am alien to those who are in prayer and vigil. Look down with mercy, O Lord, from Thy holy height. Look at the incorrigibility of my poor soul and, as you know the destinies, have mercy and correct me. As if standing before the holy throne of Thy glory, as if touching Thy most pure feet, I beg and ask with a contrite heart: have mercy on me, having mercy on Thy creation, turn me into tuna with Thy grace. I know that You can do everything, and nothing is impossible for You. Do not expect my will to be corrupted, because I have no diligence to correct myself. Let every visible and invisible nature cry for me, who has grown old in sins and passions. Weep for me, who outwardly is chaste to those who see me, but inwardly I always commit fornication. The time for your resolution with your body has approached, poor soul. Why are you amusing yourself with sights that are alien to you, which you will have to leave, which you will be deprived of? How have you pleased the Lord, the Mother of God, the saints, your neighbors? Sober up, poor soul, so as not to have sorrows and sighs, not to cry uselessly forever and ever. Then everything will come to your mind, but you won’t help yourself. Now is the buying time in which everyone is buying. With Thy help, O Lord, send and strength, convert me to live in my reverence, according to Thy holy will. Sanctify my heart, which has become a den and dwelling place of demons. I am not worthy to ask for forgiveness, Lord. For many times I promised You to repent, and became a liar, not fulfilling my promise. Many times You raised me up, and again I fell. Therefore, I pronounce judgment on myself and admit that I am worthy of all punishment and torment. How many times have You enlightened my darkened mind and gathered together my wandering thoughts? But I'm back to the worst again. I am completely in awe, thinking about this, and again voluptuousness overcomes me. How can I list all the gifts of Your grace, O Lord, which I, pathetic, have received, but have turned and are turning into nothing through my negligence? You have filled me with thousands of gifts, and I, poor one, repay You to those who are contrary. But You, Lord, since You have a sea of ​​long-suffering and an abyss of compassion, do not allow me to be cut down like a barren fig tree, and do not rush to reap me in the field of life, not yet ripe; do not kidnap me unprepared, do not eat the lamp that has not yet been lit, do not take from here the one who does not have a wedding robe, but, as the Good and Humane One, have mercy on me and give me time to repent, and before Your terrible incorruptible throne do not place my soul naked, like a pitiful disgrace of infamy. If the righteous man barely escapes, then where will I appear, unfortunate and sinful? If “the path leads into the belly” is narrow and cramped (Matthew 7:14), then how can I, who live spaciously, luxuriously, and absent-mindedly, be worthy of these benefits? But You, Lord, my Savior, the Son of the true God, as You Know, as You Want, according to Your sole goodness, turn me from the sin that abides in me and from destruction. I, wounded, resort to Your mercy. Accept my sighs like the tears of a harlot. You know, Lord, the creepiness of human nature. Remember that from youth “a man’s mind is determined to do evil” (Gen. 8:21), and do not be angry with us, but open to me the hand and the door of Thy mercy. May my negligence not overcome Your love for mankind; May my carelessness not overcome Your care. Accept, O Lord, and hear my unclean and unworthy petition, You who save those who trust in You, who do not reject the prayers of sinners, who give Your hand to those cast down to the ground. Guide me in Your fear, give me tears of tenderness. I have raised the mental eyes of my soul to You, Lord, do not cast me away from Your presence, for blessed is Your name forever and ever. Amen. You might be interested in: