О подвижнике Иулиане

This most perfect of ascetics came from slaves and, as he himself later said, spent the first years of his life extremely intemperately, but, finally, having come to knowledge, he began to live beautifully. He suffered a lot from his masters in Iliupol, in Lebanon, because they were devoted to idolatry, but after the death of his master, Julian renounced the world and became a monk; I loved the Lord with all my soul and with all my heart, and therefore succeeded in almost every virtue. He acquired great contrition and a high degree of humility; not like others who, after leaving the world, indulged in negligence about the commandments of God and idleness and, without girding their loins with chastity, plunged their souls into the depths of evil, from which some allowed themselves not to forget about the affairs of strangers, did not refuse to violate chastity, following their own lusts and, having clothed themselves in the image of piety, prepared themselves for the dwelling of a horde of demons. So, at the place where I was staying in solitude, there lived a monk who had a very young son - the fruit of his disobedience. And the monk, without hesitation, wanted to sacrifice him to the demon of love of money. But the preliminary help of God saved the boy. The unfortunate man led his son into the dungeon, where, as they said, a lot of gold was hidden by those who built this tomb. The demon, seeing the sign of the cross on the boy’s clothes, did not dare to harm him, because this man (it’s hard for me to call him father) brought his son in the lectern. Thus, seeing that he had not achieved his goal, this man rushed and removed the lectern from the boy. But again there was a voice from the depths of the cave: “He is all dedicated to God and therefore unfit for work.” So the boy was miraculously saved, and he himself told about everything in order, and also about how he was protected by our Lord Jesus Christ. For the matter became public, so that the holy fathers were called to a conference regarding it. This, brethren, is what negligence does about church services, about unceasing and sober prayer. For psalmody and prayer with humble thoughts elevate the mind above illicit passions and make the soul more courageous to desire heavenly blessings. But just as a conversation with God in pure prayer produces humility in the soul, so a conversation with kings gives rise to arrogance in those who are not very imbued with the most complete fear. Therefore, closeness to the king is like an oven or crucible; it shows whether those honored with this intimacy are good or not. But whoever always has the Lord before his eyes, with the most complete fear, repels from himself the addiction to the visible. Therefore, blessed is he who has renounced the world, dwells in the community of holy men, in submission to spiritual fathers, and lives his life with a clear conscience, because he will not be put to shame at the resurrection of the righteous. But woe to him who associates with wicked and rebellious people. He will see bitter days, because arbitrariness, separation from everyone and self-will lead a person to impoverishment and complete deprivation of spiritual fruits and gifts. It is a blessed thing to do everything with reason. Blessed Julian, having mortified himself for the worldly, as asceticism required, remained in solitude in his cell, and mine was near his cell. We both belonged to the same brotherhood, so he went to my cell, and I went to him, because I found benefit in conversations with him. And I marveled, seeing such knowledge in a man of barbarian origin, because he was from the west, and glorified God, who does not want anyone to perish, but allows everyone to repent. I also remembered the Gospel word, namely: “Amen I say to you... that many from the east and the west will come and lie down with Abraham and Isaac and Jacob in the Kingdom of Heaven: but the sons of the kingdom will be driven out into outer darkness; she will weep and gnash her teeth” (Matthew 8:11–12); and, sighing, said: “Deliver us, Lord, from pitch darkness, from weeping and gnashing of teeth. “Remember us, O Lord, in the favor of Thy people, visit us with Thy salvation: to see Thy chosen ones in goodness, to rejoice in the gladness of Thy tongue, to glory in Thy inheritance” (Ps. 106:4-5). Remember us, Lord, as a thief, when You come into Your Kingdom, and resurrect our bodies in the graves with glory, worthy of us to be admired with the righteous in the clouds, so that we too will inherit Your holy mountain through the prayers of Your saints. Amen". Blessed Julian was strong in body, but exhausted himself with great asceticism, because he followed in the footsteps of his fathers. Being illiterate, he studied diligently. This God-loving husband had a cell in which he was silent alone, and in it a cramped bed (bedroom). But he was not satisfied with the crampedness of this cage and inside it he built himself a kind of coffin, making the narrowest entrance there, and there, as if in a coffin, he prayed with tears; he worked with his own hands on the ship's sails. He loved contrition and weeping so much that no one else equaled him in this, and those passing by his cell heard the voice of his weeping, because he wept, as if he had given up his only begotten son or only begotten daughter to burial and chantingly called upon the dead. Always having his sins before his eyes, he cried tirelessly day and night, and at night he only experienced sleep for a short time, because concern for retribution awakened him with care. And how many temptations and sorrows did he endure, seeing his careless brothers? But all of them passed harmlessly, due to his humility and patience. How peace-loving, self-controlled, patient, meek, reverent, and uncovetous he was! Whoever, living in the solitude of the desert, has property with him, will be “groaning and shaking” in every place (Gen. 4:14) and, finally, will become the prey of evil people; but no one will plot against someone who is not acquisitive. But the blessed one was not lazy, he loved to do crafts. He turned away slander, was humble in word, in deed, in dress and gait, and did not spend his days in negligence, like me and sloths like me, but ended his life in complete contrition. And just as those in custody and those preparing to appear before the judge at trial cry from fear and torment, so blessed Julian constantly kept in mind the Last Judgment Seat of Christ; That’s why I always cried, thinking about the future Judgment. And where there is contrition, tears and humility, there is no disorder or anything bad; on the contrary, there is prosperity and everything good. But where this is not the case, much is lacking to achieve the proposed goal. Julian avoided meeting women, depriving himself of every opportunity for vain pleasures. And when they struck for God’s service, he tried to come before all the brethren and stood throughout the service, not daring to raise his eyes, as if before the very Judgment Seat of our Lord Jesus Christ. One day I said to him: “Who spoils books here?” For where it was written: “God”, or “Lord”, or “Jesus Christ”, or “Savior”, there the outline of the letters was erased. The blessed one answered me: “I will not hide anything from you. The harlot, having come to the Savior, watered His feet with tears and wiped his head with the hair. And as I read, as soon as I find the written name of my God, I water it with my tears, so that I too may receive remission of sins from Him.” And I lovingly told him: “God, as a lover of mankind, will accept your intention, but I ask you to spare the books too.” He answered: “My heart is not watered unless I weep before the Lord my God.” He labored so ardently for more than twenty-five years and, amid his labors, died in the Lord, remaining in persecution and obedience, having become worthy of praise. For it is said: “Blessed are the poor in spirit: for of these is the kingdom of heaven... For the sake of righteousness, blessed are they driven out: for of these is the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:3, 10). And my eyes shed tears at separation from this man. This blessed one once said to one brother: “The brother wants to go into the inner desert to look for men of insight there. Give me advice, for God’s sake, should I go with him or not?” The brother, knowing that he was hardworking, answered him: “It is better to remain silent and in silence to seek perfection; but there is no need to search for the unimportant and untrue and for this to walk through the desert.” The blessed one asked, “What is perfection, and what is meant by unimportant and incorrect?” The brother answered him: “Perfection is the limit of every word and every deed. For it is written: “End of the word, listen all; Fear God and keep His commandments” (Eccl. 12:13). Everything that happens to each of us in this age, whether sorrowful or pleasant, has an end, and therefore passes over time. But what happens after passing from life is immortal. Therefore, let us keep the Day of Judgment in our minds, so that our meaning may be perfect in the Lord. The two set off to the far side, and one of them, bored with the road, began asking passers-by what special things he would encounter on the road ahead; they answered: “The road will be rocky.” - “What’s behind the rocky road?” They say: “Meadows covered with greenery.” Another companion, seeing that he is so diligently asking about the road, tells him: “Stop, comrade, being curious about what you will meet on the road that we will pass, like the fastest messenger.” So human life is like a path. Therefore, we should no longer keep in mind what we encounter during the procession, but what will happen to us after we complete the journey. Let's try to find out how we should settle more peacefully in the country in which we will live forever, after the end of our lives and our wanderings here. Where will be our refuge and our part in this age? In depth or in height, in peace or in labor, in darkness or in light, in fire or in coolness? Let our spirit deepen in this, let our lips speak about this. Let our hearts not abandon such concern while we are in temporary life. And we will neglect those who prevent us from taking care of this, as leading us into deception and destruction, because it is impossible for someone who has gone there to return to this life again. So, child, let us take care of how we can boldly appear before the King of glory, and let us try to surrender ourselves to His will, who is zealous for His glory, so that He will help our weakness, especially when we are naked from all human covering, because we must go there, leaving everything. Therefore, if we do not always have the future Judgment in mind, the clarification of secrets and hidden things will not bring us the slightest benefit. Jeroboam, the son of Nebat, who sinned in Israel, once heard what wrath would befall him from the Lord, but he did not repent of his evil. Gehazi was also convicted of his secret sins, but did not correct his morals; otherwise the teacher would not have left him disfigured by leprosy, because it was much easier for him who had cleansed Naaman, the Syrian military leader, from the same illness with the word of the Lord, to free his own disciple from such a misfortune. So, let us keep in mind the end of our present life, so that the anticipation of future fear awakens our sleepy mind to perform and preserve good deeds. For our life flows faster than a messenger. If we become glorified and become rulers in this life, but our deeds are not in accordance with the will of Him who judges the living and the dead, then after we go there the glory of temporary life will not bring us any benefit. So, let us weep with fear and trembling, so that for our negligence in this life we ​​will not find ourselves there under the wrath of the King of Glory and be sent into utter darkness. It is no longer possible for those who have gone there to escape the torment. There is no way for someone imprisoned for sins to free himself from insoluble bonds. There is an unquenchable fire, there is an undying worm, and the dark bottom of hell, and endless screaming, and crying, and gnashing of teeth. There is no end to this suffering. There is no release on death. No fiction, no art will relieve terrible torment. Now we can avoid this if we obey the voice of our Lord and God, Who, because of His abundance of love for mankind, He Himself preached, He Himself taught the sons of men perfection in every word and in every deed, so that we, having become obedient to Him, would be freed from torment and rewarded with blessings. So, it is necessary with great humility to preserve the words of the Lord, because keeping the commandments of the Lord is perfection; those who became zealots of God's commandments firmly ascended to perfection, waiting for the Lord in the rightness of their hearts and daily imagining His glorious coming and sitting (sitting) on ​​the throne of His glory, when He will separate the righteous from the sinners and reward each according to his deeds. So, child, let us sincerely preserve love and, having succeeded in virtues with it, we will be worthy to stand at the right hand of the Only Begotten Son of God, and our heart will rejoice, and no one will take our joy from us.” The brother, taking these instructions firmly to his heart, established himself in silence, thanking our Lord Jesus Christ. Glory to him forever and ever! Amen. You might be interested in: