О покаянии и терпении

Has anyone thought that our real life is the same as a runaway slave, and a fickle defector (deceiver), and a ruined church (house). Has anyone protected his soul so wisely so as not to fall under the expected judgment on wicked people on the future terrible and great day of God? What sources of tears will be sufficient for us to extinguish the flame before we experience it? Or who will appease the Judge for us, so that he does not condemn us sinners? Who even among the saints will ask us for forgiveness from God, the Lover of Mankind? Who will turn the wrath of God into mercy and justice into mercy, if he alone does not implore the Judge, who has tied the burden of sins to himself and carries, and unties, and lightens it when he wants? We increase the burdens when we sin grievously, and lighten them when we bitterly repent; It’s up to us to decide whether to allow it or not. It is God’s business to forgive those who come to Him, for, indeed, we have a humane Master, Who through repentance relieves the burdens of slaves. So, before our departure, we will strenuously beg the Judge, confessing to Him, to deliver us from His rebuke. And Noah, and Job, and Daniel - friends of God Himself and prophets, with all their boldness, if they began to beg God for the children, asking for mercy from punishment, they would not have brought them the slightest benefit, and would not have been heard and accepted. What will we do if we neglect ourselves? Who will snatch us from the wrath of God, except the One who judges and justifies God? Look what the holy martyrs who labored on earth gave back to God, and what boldness they gained from God through their martyrdom. Having blotted out their sins, not only did they receive the gift (of forgiveness), but in addition they received the Kingdom of Heaven and Paradise, because they shed their blood for that Blood that is above all price and invaluable, that is, for the Blood of the Lord. Preferring love for God to children, even to spouses, they finally became winners in the field, so that after the test of scourging they would receive crowns for their feats. Love for the Savior so attracted their minds to the same field with Him that, being corruptible, they bought incorruptible. And we, slaves, how will we render glory to the Lord and King? We often do not tolerate a word uttered by a brother attacking (hurting) us; consigning to oblivion our ulcers, both obvious and secret, known to God, we cannot bear even the snow falling from the air. Others, who suffered (forced) for the sake of God, were crowned; and we, although we can become martyrs without torment, do the opposite and remain useless for anything, even becoming prey to these mental beasts and crafty demons. What are you doing, man, without caring about virtue? The Creator gave you to be melted like gold, precisely through insults and temptations, so that you, with your great patience and generosity, would prove to be a chosen and pure vessel, for an inexperienced person can be unskillful. One of those is I, who wrote this; I am indecent and sinful, lacking in all virtue, unworthy to be called your brother, because I fled the sorrow that was preparing my crown; I am unskilled, but I dare to praise the martyrs. For as soon as I touch such praise, I begin to complain bitterly and fall into great fear; my conscience hurts me, and the thought of reward at the future Judgment for bad deeds strikes me, for, burdened and suppressed by them, I am not worthy to look at the heights. And if I begin to utter praises to the martyrs, my conscience, like a beast, attacks me among my thoughts before the convicting God, Who sees the secrets of all people. She says to me: “Who are you, talking about the affairs of others when you yourself are poor in them? What justification will you give to God, who brought you from darkness into light, by daring to talk about virtues that you yourself do not imitate? But before I fall silent, it is better for me, since I have not acquired my own (philokalia), to talk about yours. Since I have a humane-loving Lord within me, I will not cease to proclaim praises to the martyrs. Consider: I alone am unworthy and poor in all virtue, yet I give money to usurers so that the Lord, when he comes, will take it with interest. I want to avoid being accused of talent and not be condemned with that crafty person who buried the talent in the ground. Therefore, I give advice to anyone who wants to be saved: do not imitate me, a sinner, but accept my words as a wise person. However, I do not consider it perfection (dignity) to talk about this, because everyone knows the will of God, big and small, noble and poor. Everyone, if he looks, will see what is good for him, what God wants from him, and how he should be saved. Have you heard, I think, that what is in store for us is Gehenna, and unquenchable fire, and the gnashing of teeth, and pitch darkness, as well as a worm, flaming fire and a terrible river flowing swiftly in the face of the Judge, which the Lover of Mankind threatens us with, if we do not keep the commandments of God, if we do not first flood the flame with tears, if we do not extinguish Gehenna with repentance, if we do not put ourselves to death a worm with chastity, if we do not beg the infallible Judge while we are still in this life, if we do not warn the Judge there by confessing in the present world, if we do not show such repentance that alone can appease the Judge. God did not appoint torment for us, but for the devil and his angels; We ourselves, through our great vices, make ourselves heirs of those terrible torments. What threatened the fierce serpent, we humans will voluntarily endure. He says: “Depart from Me, cursed, into eternal fire, prepared” for the evil serpent “and his angel” (Matthew 25:41). - But he did not say: “Into the fire prepared for men.” If those who do evil here in this present life experience such severity and innumerable types of punishments, then all the more in the next century there will be an infallible and incorruptible judgment. inexorably towards us, sinners, so criminal before the Judge. Oh, how great is our blindness! We beg God to hear us and open the door for us, which (we ourselves) blocked even before our entry, that is, before prayer. What are you doing, man who suffers from unreason? The Door of the Lord is always open for both big and small, and we trouble the Lord to open it for us - we, who closed it for ourselves, for it was in our power to both open and close it. If we do not sin, the Master’s door of generosity will always be open to people, and as soon as we sin, it will immediately close. God does not close the doors to His servants when they approach Him in prayer. On the contrary, this door is always open to those who seek God, for He said: “Ask... seek... press” (Matthew 7:7), expressing His readiness to give everything to the one who asks. Don’t be cruel to yourself, unfortunate one, don’t attribute inhumanity to God. We ourselves are guilty, for with our sinfulness we build (create) a wall and with our desires we forge a copper door. So, having reconciled, reason with yourself and release the soul bound by you from the bonds. God stands and still waits for you, man, to reconcile you with the Lord; He still longs for your return so that he can accept you if you live honestly. Reconcile your inner man with your outer man and be free from bitter slavery. In this case, you will find that door that you have blocked for yourself always open for your prayers, for which glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and forever! Amen. You might be interested in: