О том, что должно не смеяться и рассеиваться, но плакать и проливать о себе слезы

The beginning of spiritual corruption in a monk is laughter and freedom. When you see this in yourself, monk, then know that you have come to the depths of evil. Don’t stop praying to God to save you from this death. The laughter and freedom of the monks, not only the young, but also the elders, plunge them into shameful passions. Laughter and freedom depose the monk. One of the saints said about liberty: “Liberty is like a sultry wind; it destroys the fruits of the monk.” Listen now about laughter. Laughter removes from us the joy promised to those who weep (Matthew 5:4), and destroys what has been built. Laughter offends the Holy Spirit, does not benefit the soul, and corrupts the body. Laughter drives out virtues, has no remembrance of death, no thoughts of torment. Take away from me, O Lord, laughter, and grant me the crying and weeping that You, O God, require from me. The beginning of crying is knowing yourself. Let our mourning be not for man and not for people to see, but for God, who knows the hidden things of the heart, so that we may receive satisfaction from Him. Therefore, let us have a bright face, let us rejoice in the gifts of the Lord in the Holy Spirit; Let us begin to cry and lament mentally, begging God to save us from every kind of wickedness and not to deprive us of the Kingdom of Heaven and the blessings that He has prepared for those who please Him. Crying creates and protects, crying wipes the soul with tears and makes it clean. Crying gives rise to chastity, cuts off whims, perfects (perfects) virtues. What else can I say? Crying is pleased by God (Matthew 5:4), and receives consolation from the Angels. That is why one of the Lord’s disciples said: “Let your laughter be turned to weeping, and your joy to mourning. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you” (James 4:9–10). What should I do, a sinner who does not cry and does not shed tears for himself with contrition? For I speak and do not do. Alas for me, how careless I am! Alas for me, how careless I am about my salvation! Woe is me, because I sin in knowledge! I know when I do bad, and I do not shy away from evil. Woe is me, for I have no excuse! In words I am numbered among those standing at the “right hand,” but in deeds I stand “at the left.” To you, Lord, the only good and unforgettable one, I confess my sin. Even if I were silent, You, Lord, know everything, and nothing is hidden before Your eyes. But since You, Lord, said through the prophet: “You spoke your iniquities first, that you might be justified” (Is. 43:26), then I will say: “I have sinned, O Lord, and am not worthy to look up and see the heights of heaven because of the multitude of my iniquities” (2 Chronicles 36. Prayer of Manasseh), - because for a short pleasure I neglected the eternal fire and did not desire Your Kingdom. What should I, the poorest of men, do? I will cry for myself day and night, as long as there is time to accept tears. Grant me tears of contrition, O Lord, the only good and merciful one, so that in tears I may ask You for cleansing from the defilement of my heart. Alas, what should I do with the fiery Gehenna and the pitch darkness, where there is “crying and gnashing of teeth?” Alas, what should I do with tartar and endless torment, with a poisonous and never-ending worm? “Who will give my head water, and let us comb out the source of my tears; and I weep day and night” (Jer. 9:1) to appease God, Whom I have angered? You have sinned, my soul! - Repent. For our days pass like a shadow. A little more and you'll be out of here; You will pass through terrible places, my soul; do not put off turning to the Lord day after day. Alas for me, my soul! By unclean deeds you have driven away the mercy of God from yourself. Do not give yourself rest, so that the apple of your eyes does not remain inactive; fall to the Good and Humane, so that grace and mercy may be given to you from on high. We, brothers, will soon pass through terrible and terrible places, and it is impossible not to follow this path. No one here will accompany us to help us: neither parents, nor brothers, nor friends, nor family, nor wealth, nor anything like that. So, let us not neglect the good works that will be found in times of need. Let us be sober in this age, so that after separation from the body the princes of darkness do not detain us. And who will help us and deliver us out of their hand? If only at that hour we find ourselves naked from God’s cover, then the princes of darkness will be inexorable and unmerciful. They fear neither the king nor respect the rulers; They honor neither the small nor the great, except those who live in godliness and are caught in good deeds. His faces will be afraid, they will retreat from him with fear, with great haste, giving him a free path, as it is written: “For grace and mercy are among His saints, and visitation among His elect” (Wisdom 3:9). And again: “The souls of the righteous are in the hand of God, and no torment will touch them” (Wis.3:1). “And Your righteousness will come before You, and the glory of God will embrace You. Then you will cry, and God will hear you, and I say again to you; He says: “Behold, I have come” (Is. 58:8–9); “For He who promised is faithful” (Heb. 10:23). Blessed is he who finds himself free (from sin) in the hour of separation. So, let us not be careless, beloved brothers, let us not attract to ourselves something alien who is certainly perishing (already lost). The way he consumes everything. When the hour of separation comes, pleasures will fade, luxury and vanity will cease, wealth and lust will disappear. When the hour of separation comes, all this and the like will be decided. Imagining that hour in my mind, I fall to Your goodness, Lord: “Do not deliver me over to those who offend me” (Ps. 119:121), - lest Your enemies boast about Your servant, O Good Lord. Gnashing their teeth and frightening my sinful soul, may they not say: “You fell into our hands, you were given to us, this is the day we were waiting for.” No, Lord, do not repay me for my iniquities, and do not turn Your face away from me. Do not tell me: “I say Amen” to you, “I do not know” you (Matthew 25:12). Punish me, Lord, but according to Your mercies; and let not my enemy rejoice over me! Extinguish his reproach (intrigues), abolish all his actions, arrange my path to You free from insults and reproach. Bow down to prayer, O Good Lord, not for the sake of my righteousness, but for the sake of Thy compassions and Thy great goodness. Save a sorrowful soul from death. Remember, Good Lord, that, having sinned and being struck almost to death, I ran to no other doctor and stretched out my hands, not to an alien God, but to Your goodness. For You are the Lord of all, having power over every breath. You, Lord, said: “Ask, and it will be given to you... press, and it will be opened to you” (Matthew 7:7-8). Before my end, cleanse me, Lord, from all sin. Do not reject my prayer, Good Lord. Unworthy lips, an unkind heart, and a soul defiled by sins cry out to You. Hear me, O Lord, according to Your grace. For you do not reject the prayer of one who truly repents to You. My repentance is unclean because of (my) corruption: I repent for an hour, but for two I anger You. Strengthen my heart, O Good Lord, in fear. Place my feet on the stone of repentance. May Thy goodness, O Lord, overcome my sinfulness; May the light of Your grace overcome the darkness that is within me. You, Lord, who opened the eyes of the blind, open the darkened eyes of my heart. You, who cleansed the lepers with your word, cleanse the filthiness of my soul. May Your grace, Lord, be in me like a fire, consuming my unclean thoughts. You alone are good; You are the light above all light; You are joy above all joy; You are peace above all peace; You are true life. You are salvation that endures forever. To You, the Only Good One, I fall in prayer, worthy of all punishment, deserving of all torment. I beg you, the Redeemer, so that the enemy does not finally take possession of me. But You, Lord, as the Good One, the unforgettable and merciful one, raise up my members, weakened by sin, and revive my soul, deadened by iniquity, and enlighten my heart, darkened by evil lust, and deliver me from every evil deed, and place in me Your perfect love, Lord Jesus Christ, Savior of the world; and write the name of Your servant in the Book of Life, grant me a good end, so that, having won victory over the devil, I will unashamedly bow down before the Throne of Your Kingdom with all the righteous. To you be glory forever! Amen. I beg you, beloved brethren, chosen ones of God, pray to the Lord for me, a sinner, like the apostles for the Canaanite woman, pray, worthy ones, for the unworthy, worthy ones, for the worthless, so that along with your accessible prayers, my prayer reaches God. Power and greatness befits him! Glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, before all ages, and now, and to all ages of ages! Amen. You might be interested in: