ИСПОВЕДЬ-ПОКАЯНИЕ

1. Sins resolved and not repeated will not be remembered at the Judgment Sins that have been resolved and not repeated will not be remembered at the Judgment. This is the power of the Sacrament... But you can repeat (confess) them both in your prayer and before your confessor... imitating St. to the Apostle Paul (see 1 Tim. 1, 13, 15; 1 Cor. 15, 9; Gal. 1, 13) (1, p. 36). 2. Spiritual weakness is cleansed by Confession, and healing (of weakness) ends with feat Spiritual weakness is cleansed through Confession, which is the beginning of its healing. The same healing continues... then ends with exploits against it (infirmity). The healing will end when the passion becomes disgusting and the attraction ceases. While this procedure is being carried out, the fighter is in mercy. The leader, although he receives sensitive wounds, falls and gets up. This mercy retreats only when someone has fallen and does not get up - he lies around. And if he falls and immediately gets up and again takes up arms to fight, the mercy does not leave. By doing this, dissolve the bitterness of your conscience (1, p. 71). 3. Sin, confessed and hated, is blotted out from the Book of Life and will not be remembered at the Judgment. Sin, confessed, watered, hated, is blotted out from all the books in which it is written: from the Book of God’s truth, from the book of our nature, from the book of our contacts with the visible and invisible world. Thus, he will no longer be remembered at the Judgment. With this in mind, it is necessary, without diminishing the sense of sinfulness, to always shower your soul with the hope of salvation. The Lord bore all our sins in His body on the tree and there tore their handwriting (1, pp. 122-123). 4. Through confession and faith the fruits of the Savior’s atoning sacrifice are assimilated We assimilate this good by faith, contrite Confession, labor to blot out sins and hatred of them (1, p. 123). 5. To the one who repents and has the intention not to sin, the Lord forgives all sins, without remembering his previous wickedness As long as there is breath in the nostrils, the hope of salvation exists and can be crowned with success. One has only to come to the Savior. And He will never miss the one coming to Him. No matter how many sins there are and no matter how great they are, the Lord will forgive everything to the one who repents and sincerely decides not to indulge himself anymore, but, on the contrary, to stand good, even if it means death. If you lack such trust in the Savior, you must pray to Him - and He will give (1, p. 253). Whoever sincerely repented and received permission from the Lord through the spiritual father in the Sacrament... and then in fact entered on the good path and follows it, the Lord looks favorably on him, not remembering his previous dishonesty (1, p. 253). 6. Anyone who sincerely repents must be allowed to undergo penance in accordance with it. Through confession and faith the fruits of the Savior’s atoning sacrifice are assimilated Whoever sincerely repents and makes a promise to abstain from evil, why not allow him - with an appropriate penance, which could be done unnoticed by others (2, pp. 59-60)? 7. What makes you go to Confession to monks is your worldly attitude and the desire for better edification. It is both the worldly attitude and, perhaps, the aspiration for better edification that forces one to go to Confession to the monks. But what's the point of inquiring about this?.. He came, he repents... how can you push him away (2, p. 60)? 8. Talk where nothing can entertain you You are going to talk and seem to want to come to Vysha. Is this good? I think that when you arrive at a new place, you will only look around, satisfying your curiosity, and completely forget about the fasting and the purpose for which it is being undertaken. Fast where nothing can entertain you (2, pp. 86–87). 9. Repentant crying about sins must be preserved until the end of life. A stubborn sinner is disgusting to God. One must approach God with a publican’s voice. Repentance requires hostility to sin. It is not at all unnecessary to grieve and cry for the rest of your life about your sins. Keep this fear of God and protect yourself with it. A stubborn sinner is disgusting to God, but a repentant sinner is pleasing to Him. Always approach Him with a publican’s voice, plunging the sea of ​​your sins into the abyss of His mercy. When there is hostility and aversion to sin, with a readiness to resist it even to the point of the stomach, then God does not see him as a sinner. So don't be embarrassed! Take more care of your inner mood and only get ready to run when it is impossible to preserve this inner mood. Take care of it by not having fun and not cooling off (1, p. 11). 10. Reproof for those who have fallen into sin and instruction about true repentance. Purpose of penance You had a very unfortunate slip. But the whip is not torment, but forward science. This happened from the conceit that we were high enough, not like both of them. That's enough! Conceit went along with vanity. Together they gave birth to laziness. Laziness says: what do we need? What have we become? We can give ourselves some freedom... This whole path is written out for you: “Laziness has overcome me so much that I don’t want to look at anything.” If you have reached the clouds above, then what is the need to force yourself? “Vanity—whether to serve the camp, pray, or read teachings—overwhelms.” How can you and I not be vain? We know the smart prayer. And well, walk like a peacock. O.M. – lapwing... If you please call yourself that. The lapwing is some kind of bird, proudly performing, but lousy, clumsy, powerless and cowardly. So call yourself that. Either you and I lounged on the sofa like a spiritual millionaire (laziness), then from the bell tower we began to look at everyone like small fry worth a penny (vanity with pride). And then, as soon as the enemy appeared, we went into the bushes... or even worse: here, take it... And they didn’t lift a finger. And now please see what a spiritual hero and rich man you are! Then the Lord allowed this fall, so that you could tangibly see how insignificant your strength and your firmness in good are. What happened must be considered a real fall (2, pp. 183–184). Inside the sin is made. And repent of it, considering yourself to have fallen into fornication. You call it misfortune. Truly so; it's like breaking a wall. When the enemy breaks through a wall somewhere protecting a city, then, even though the townspeople repair it, the place cannot be considered strong, because the repair is only stuck to the wall and is not deeply connected to it. You confessed, okay. The hole is sealed. This fresh seal is not durable. The enemy stands on the side and looks out. As soon as he sees some mistake, he will again jump away from his bombs (2, p. 184). But let him shy away. You can make all his attempts fruitless. The hole in the wall, so that it does not fall off again, is propped up from behind with pillars and more soldiers are sent to that place. The enemy then, seeing this, does not at all attempt to break through the wall here again, but retreats to another place. So you need to do the same. Supports need to be made: this is an increase in the constraint of the flesh by deprivation of sleep, food, labor, especially any kind of humiliating work (throwing snow and the like). And sending soldiers means getting more good, sobering thoughts into your head and sorting them out with your attention. The command over all this must be entrusted to zeal for salvation, with devotion to God, from Whom is all-saving power, with the determination not to succumb to such a whim anymore, even to die. Please be sure to arrange this (2, p. 184). The Lord has His own penance imposed on every sinner, which consists in the fact that He immediately accepts the repentant into mercy, but does not return the former to him immediately, but waits for contrition and humility to develop. If someone mercilessly torments himself, he will soon return, but if he gives himself an indulgence, then not soon. There is a term (limit) when this happens. The soul will hear the voice of the Lord: “Your sins are forgiven.” Here's the program for you. Please keep all this in mind... and work. Above all, hold yourself in humility and in faith and surrender to the Lord. And everything will return to its order (2, p. 185). 11. Instruction to the repentant about falling into carnal sin And don't relax. The enemy is not strong: there is a sick one in you... but he is crafty and overcomes with flattery and takes captive... Watch and pray. Look at the internal structure... For without the proper structure here, everything saving that you have accomplished (Confession and Communion) may remain just an external rite of reconciliation without internal living communication. Evidence of being inside the proper order is represented by heartfelt contrition and a determination as firm as death - not to indulge oneself, and strong jealousy to do everything required without self-pity (2, pp. 221-222). The flesh must be tormented by hunger, lack of sleep, prayerful labor, and avoidance of temptations and wine drinking. God has made peace with you... imagine the documents of the world - this willingness to do everything that should be done without self-pity (2, p. 222). Pull yourself together, and the Academy will not be a hindrance, but a facilitator... If you don’t pull yourself together, then no monastery will deliver you. Build a strict monastery inside yourself: pay attention to yourself and suppress everything bad that arises inside, whether thoughts, or sympathy and desires, immediately without the slightest concession, and restore and support everything good. You can do this if you want to be saved, for this desire is the driving away of all that is bad and the acceptance of the good (2, p. 222). You are like a house shaken by an earthquake. Owner - when you saw this, you didn’t give up, didn’t say: everything is lost... but you decided to restore it... The main thing is done; now we need to finish, decorate our house (2, p. 222). Second question... about the priesthood. The ancient cathedral canons locked the door to the priesthood for those who did not maintain chastity. But as Repentance, strictly completed and returning the first purity, places those who have completed this course among those capable of carrying out the work of this service in perfection, the hierarchy, taking this into account, opened the door of entry. This is how it is done now... But often without confidence in suitability, but on the assumption of it. What should you do? It was in vain that you did not propose this question to the elders in the Glinsk Hermitage. Those elders - oh. The abbot and confessor, as I hear, are experienced and would decide this for you in God’s way. You entrust this decision to me. Here is my decision for you: until you are established as you should inside and strengthened, do not accept monasticism, much less the priesthood. Say when they offer monasticism: “I’ll wait and serve a little... and then.” In this way you will also alienate the priesthood. Now take on severe rigors until you drive out everything lustful. Look how they wash the clothes... between other methods - they fry them in the oven, sprinkle them with ashes... then they rinse them on the river and beat them without mercy with rollers and squeeze them out with their hands. You must do all these things to yourself (2, pp. 222–223). During your previous rise from the sleep of sin, grace tangibly acted in you and did not allow you to notice the labors of restoration. Now it will be different... Your own labor must precede, without sympathy, despotically, and grace will manifest its action when you are tired of labor and do not know what to do... You have penance. Execute it exactly without omission. And adjust everything else to it. I can't tell you the details. I say one thing: ...take uncontrollable zeal, and let it flow from the hatred of carnal pleasures as merciless enemies. When this hatred comes into force, then even the slightest thought will appear - as the soul, like a lion, will roar at him... and he will instantly run away... The Holy Apostle James writes: resist the devil, and he will flee from you... resist lustful uprisings - and they will not prevail. These resistances and rebuffs of lustful uprisings seem to be unnoticed, but they are noticed in Heaven and immediately attract crowns... Not a single rebuff is left without a crown... Take courage and stand up for yourself (2, pp. 223-224). 12. About the changing weather in the soul You wrote something dark about yourself without defining what it is. I believe that this is a consequence of the usual changeability, as happens in nature: now a clear day, now a cloudy one, and even a stormy one with a thunderstorm. But now you have spoken, confessed and received communion, and peace of mind has returned to you. Grant, Lord, that he may remain in you. But just as our mental weather is never the same, now you see where you should turn so that a clear sun shines on the horizon of your soul, and do this every time (3, p. 28). In order for Confession to proceed and be performed more satisfactorily, try to write down everything that lies on your conscience, and, having approached your spiritual father, ask him to retell everything to him from the record... After this, if he wants to ask you anything else, he will ask or you yourself will invite him to do it. By acting this way, you will always move away from the lectern, like someone who has thrown off all the astringent clothing (3, pp. 28–29). 13. Encouragement and assurance of God’s mercy towards the repentant and indication of means to strengthen faith and hope Your sins are great and very great. But there is no sin that overcomes the mercy of God. Forgiveness of sins is given not according to our merits, but according to the mercy of a humane God, always ready to forgive as soon as someone turns to Him with repentance. And it is not the greatness and multitude of sins that makes one unworthy of forgiveness, but one impenitence. As soon as you have contrite and repented, forgiveness is already awarded to you in Heaven, and at the moment of Confession this heavenly decision is announced to you (3, p. 30). The Lord Savior carried the handwriting of all the sins of all people on His body to the Cross and there tore it to pieces. The application of this action of boundless mercy to everyone is performed in the Sacrament of Repentance and happens in reality. He who has received permission from his spiritual father stands innocent before the face of God’s truth (3, p. 30). The weakness of faith in this and the poverty of the hope of pardon are caused by our enemy. Our sins do not happen without his inspiration. From them he creates a barrier between us and God. Repentance and Confession destroy this barrier. Knowing the power of this Sacrament, that it destroys all his works and worries about the destruction of sinners, he tries in every possible way to stop its fruitfulness - and either completely rejects it, or induces disbelief in its power and hopelessness of receiving forgiveness through it. Your lack of faith and hopelessness are his wiles. Arm yourself against this and drive away the enemy and his suggestions (3, pp. 30–31). The Lord wants everyone to be saved, and therefore you too. After the arrangement of our salvation through the incarnate economy, the Lord now has one concern - to attract everyone to Himself to grant them salvation. And He really attracts. Not a single sinner exists without this. And it attracts and calls you. What does your current concern for the salvation of the soul mean? It means the call of the Lord: come to Me, burdened, and I will give you rest! Is this concern your business? No! It was the Lord who gave her all. If He has done all things, then can there be any doubt that He will give you salvation? He encourages you to seek forgiveness of sins from Himself, of course, being ready to grant this forgiveness. Go to Him with full faith and do not let the enemy destroy your faith and hope of salvation. Saint Tikhon assures that the enemy, when he inclines to sin, inspires: do not be afraid, God is merciful, and when he brings you to sin, then he troubles and destroys the soul with fear, inspiring: there is no salvation for you. With such thoughts and others like them, work to restore your faith and hope of salvation (3, p. 31). Bring to mind the prodigal son more often. The father did not wait for the prodigal son to reach him, but went out to meet him and, without waiting for his word, embraced him in his arms. Only, it turns out, God has the desires for the salvation of everyone, all God’s cares are directed here. Heavenly Father assures: I do not want the death of a sinner; What is the Son of God doing at the right hand of the Father? - Võnu is interceding on our behalf. What about the Holy Spirit? – And He also intercedes for us with unspeakable groanings... So this is how things are in Heaven. But the enemy wants to assure you that there is no mercy or salvation for you from God, who is angry with you. And you believe him... these lies of his. For God has no thought of not having mercy, but has one thought and one desire - to have mercy and to have mercy... Come, everyone (3, pp. 31-32). Hope and faith cannot be strong without deeds and labors in the cause of salvation. If you please, apply these active labors, and faith and hope will immediately begin to come to life. What kind of deeds and works?.. 1. To have an aversion to all sins - not only to deeds, but also to thoughts and sympathies for them. 2. Determine yourself to do things that are opposite to them. You must find and establish this for yourself. 3. The main thing is for the flesh to escape... It must be severely punished - put to death. 4. Establish a prayer rite at home and church... 5. Organize external relations and avoid cases that could arouse movements of passions (3, p. 32). I guess that you have strong pride and rebellion. Seek humility and obedience... Keep the memory of God and the memory of death and do not let go of the thought that God sees you, you are under His eye, and beware of everything that is not pleasing to God. To help remember God and the work of salvation, memorize the 24 prayers of St. Chrysostom and read them more often. They are among the prayers for the future to sleep (3, p. 32). Remember that no one can do for you what is needed for salvation. You must do this yourself. Help from the Lord is always ready; but it does not come to the one who does nothing, but only to the one who does, works, but cannot complete the task (3, pp. 32–33). 14. Explanation of the power of the Sacrament of Repentance and the permission received through Confession Resolution in the Sacrament of Penance is real permission, no matter who performs it. For the Lord Himself listens to Confession through the ears of the spiritual father, and He resolves it through the lips of the confessor (3, pp. 131–132). 15. Sins are forgiven after the permission of the confessor, but leave traces and languor, which are erased by deeds Sins are immediately forgiven under the permission of the spiritual father. But their trace remains in the soul, and it languishes. With the progress of deeds in resisting sinful urges, these traces are erased, and at the same time the languor is diminished. When the traces are completely erased, then the languor will end. The soul will be confident of remission of sins. For this reason, the spirit is contrite, the heart is contrite and humbly form the basis of the feelings of the flowing path of salvation (3, pp. 174–175). 16. About writing down your sins You also notice that during Confession you read the sins written in a notebook... which priests don’t like... If they don’t like it, then stop doing it. That's right, you are writing about common sins... of which who is not guilty? - And you write down things. For example, don’t write: I’m quarrelsome, but write down the matter in which the quarrelsomeness was revealed... like this: my sister said an unpleasant word, I got angry, and they scolded... And if we got along, add: we got along, thank God, or: we forcibly got along... Also: I liked the face of one person... and that impression remained. Realizing that this was bad, I began to fight and erased the impression (not to say faces). So it is with everything (3, pp. 177–178). 17. Instruction about Confession: say everything that is on your conscience At Confession, you should not limit yourself to what the confessor asks, but after answering his questions, you should also express your own comments on matters of conscience. Instill this in your sisters too (3, p. 232). 18. Daily evening home confession - the path to self-knowledge It’s good to bring [sins] to memory every day in the evening. – Ed.] in the form of home confession, which St. teaches about. Dimitry of Rostov, especially focusing on what broke through during the day. Bless, Lord, this work in you and deepen it. Behold a good path to self-knowledge (4, p. 18)! 19. There is nothing and cannot be more precious than feelings of repentance You write about yourself: “I am very bad, very bad.” These are very good speeches. Grant you, Lord, to feel this way, and through this to keep yourself in feelings of repentance, more precious than which there is nothing in the world and cannot be (4, p. 36). 20. About embarrassment before Confession Everything that confuses the soul is from the enemy. And pray against him. Pray to the Lord Savior, Mother of God, Guardian Angel, may they strengthen your heart in freedom from confusion. You can bow three times in the morning and evening with a prayer to Them, may they keep your soul in a calm state (4, pp. 82–83). Drive away embarrassment at Confession with the thought that you are confessing to the merciful Lord, who loves you and is waiting for you to tell Him everything. The priest is only a witness. What to say in spirit, think about it at home in advance and say everything calmly (4, p. 83). Your dream before Confession was saving: otherwise, who knows, you would not have gone to confess to a righteous woman (4, p. 179). The feeling of righteousness is a big problem for us. Remember that as soon as this feeling comes, even to a weak extent, it means that your business has gone wrong. The more sinful you feel, the more right your path is. But we must strive to ensure that the feeling of one’s sinfulness comes naturally from the depths of the soul, and is not inspired from the outside by one’s own reflection or an outside word (4, pp. 179–180). 22. Heartfelt contrition is the root of Christian disposition Blessed is your disposition that you constantly feel contrition of heart. This is an indigenous Christian disposition. All feelings pleasing to God are strung on it, like on a string of beads - and all the exploits of the ceiling have a price, insofar as they come from it and are required and supported. Glory to You, Lord, that you have this. Warm up this feeling in any way you can: by meditation, reading, prayer. God will not despise a contrite and humble heart (4, p. 201). 23. Revelation of thoughts and Confession (Sacrament) One must distinguish between a simple retelling of everything that happened in the soul, which in monasteries is a revelation of thoughts, and a mysterious Confession... The latter is required when something weighs on the conscience. It is impossible to determine this in detail: it is a very subjective matter. Everything else can only be retold and discussed... At St. Demetrius’s answer to this is everyday confession... and there is a similar thing in prayers for sleep. However, receiving mysterious permission is always better for the soul (4, p. 249). 24. Instruction on proper fasting. Behavior of a fasting person in church Bless, Lord, that I may speak to you properly. Whatever you wish for, this is what every fasting person should do. And to fast, and to go to church, and to be alone, and to read, and to think, and to take care of oneself - everything is needed. But all these things must be directed towards one goal - worthy Communion of the Holy Mysteries of Christ. In order to receive communion worthily, one must cleanse the soul by repentance. In order to perform repentance as it should - with sincere contrition and a firm determination not to offend the Lord any more - all other feats of fasting are assigned for this: going to church, and prayer at home, and fasting, and everything else. The first thing in the production of repentance is to enter into oneself. Everyday affairs and worries and thoughts prevent us from entering into ourselves and taking care of ourselves, uncontrollable wandering around the world. Therefore, for the duration of the fast, the one who is fasting, as long as anyone can, stops his chores and, instead of going about his business, sits at home. This suppression of troubles is a matter of utmost importance in fasting. Whoever doesn’t do it will probably miss it somehow. So you need to do the same. No matter how small your troubles are, they are there and they entertain you. Start fasting, everything is put aside. Let’s say they dropped everything and sat in their room. What should we do here? And you can sit alone in vain. We need to take classes leading up to fasting. Which ones? Prayer, reading, meditation. This prayer is apart from the church one. That goes without saying. Of course, you know how to pray in church. However, take this into account! Go to church willingly, as if going to God’s own home, without frowning or getting bored. Go to church not just to stand for the service, but then to pray from the heart - to pray with the warmth of your heart, with an outpouring of feelings of contrition, humility and reverent fear before the Lord, and with the offering of fervent petitions for your deepest spiritual needs. How to manage this, you need to figure out in advance and, when you come to church, strain yourself to do so. It is not empty to consider only that period of time in the service during which the heart became warm and cried out warmly to God. This is the main thing. You also need to listen to the service and follow it with your thoughts and feelings. Variety, aimed at one thing, without entertaining, will pleasantly keep attention in a nourishing and creative tension. To delve into what is sung and read, especially in the litany, for they are an abbreviated presentation of all our needs, with a request for which it is shameless to turn to God (9, pp. 119–120). But usually the mind wanders. This is due to a lack of prayerful feelings. However, do this with them: as soon as you notice that your thoughts have left the church, turn them back and never allow yourself to consciously dream or wander in your thoughts - now, during fasting, and at any other time. When thoughts go away unnoticed by you, there is still a small sin; but when you deliberately begin to wander with your thoughts here and there while standing in church, that is already a sin. The Lord is among those in the church. He who does not think about the Lord here, but dreams, is like someone who, having come to the king to ask him for something, would begin to grimace and twirl in his presence, not paying attention to him. Even with all your tension, you may not be able to let your thoughts wander at all; but you can and should not allow yourself to intentionally dream. Regarding the wandering of thoughts, these two rules are: 1) as soon as you notice this wandering, turn your thoughts back; and 2) consciously do not allow your thoughts to wander. The remedy against wandering thoughts is attention of the mind, attention to the fact that the Lord is before us and we are before Him. You must put your whole mind into this thought and not allow it to deviate from it. Attention is attached to the Lord through the fear of God and reverence. From them comes warmth of the heart, which draws attention to the One Lord. Try to stir your heart, and you will see for yourself how it fetters your thoughts. You have to force yourself. Without mental labor and effort you will not achieve anything spiritual. Bowing helps a lot to warm the heart. Place them more often – both waist ones and ground ones. May God grant you to feel the sweetness of being in church, so that you rush there, just as you rush to a warm room from the cold. In fasting, the main producer of the work for which fasting is being worthy of being in the church. Other matters are aids and aids to him (9, pp. 120–122). 25. Behavior of a fasting person at home The one who fasts knows only about church and home. We came home: what’s here? “And here it is necessary, as much as you can, to keep your mind and heart reverent towards the Lord. Hurry to your room straight from the church and greet her with several bows, asking the Lord to reverently, with spiritual benefit, spend the present time of your solitary stay at home. Then you need to rest a little after sitting. Still, don’t let your thoughts wander, but say to yourself, without thinking about anything, one thing: Lord, have mercy! Lord, have mercy! Having rested, you need to do something: either pray, or do handicrafts. And what time - you have to decide for yourself. You can’t do everything spiritually: you need to have some kind of easy handicraft. You just need to take it up when your soul is tired and is unable to read, think, or pray to God. And if those spiritual activities go well, then you don’t have to touch on needlework. It is appointed to fill the time that without it would have to be spent in idleness, which is most destructive at all times, and even more so during fasting. How to pray at home? You said well that you need to add a little extra against the usual prayer rule. It is necessary, it is necessary. But it is better if you do not add unnecessary readings of prayers, but pray longer without a prayer book, expressing your deepest spiritual needs before the Lord with your own words. Read in the morning and in the evening no more than on ordinary days; but before the beginning of your prayer and after it, pray your own prayer, and during the intervals of the prayers you read, insert your prayer, bowing at the waist and on the ground, and kneeling. Annoy the Lord, the Mother of God and the Guardian Angel, in your word to Them, asking for everything that you feel is extremely necessary for yourself; pray that you let yourself be known, and that through knowledge you put in the desire and provide the strength to correct everything that is faulty, and even more so that you fill your heart with the spirit of contrition and humility, in which sacrifice to God is most pleasing to Him. But don’t tie yourself down with too long and lengthy a rule. It is better to get up for prayer more often and make bows throughout the day, little by little, but often, in order to cover the whole day with bows. In your mind, do not deviate from the Lord at all, whether you stand in prayer or whatever else you do. After prayer - reading with meditation. We need to read not to fill our memory with various information and concepts, but then to receive edification and understand how to better fulfill what is needed for us in these days of fasting. To do this, you need to read a little, but bring every point you read to your senses through long attention to it. What to read? Of course, only spiritual books. Of these, I will not recommend anything to you more than the writings of St. Tikhon. There is a book “Rise to Sleep” - a selection of articles from St. Tikhon that encourage repentance. There is also a book about Repentance and Communion, sermons for Lent and the weeks of preparation for it. I heard that it is very useful at this time: everything in it speaks only about Repentance and Communion. I can't find a better read for you... Slowly and thoughtfully reading suitable books will most greatly stir the soul. Lean on it. In the morning after prayer (matins begins in the evening), order everything to it, until the very hours. It will also prepare you for church prayer. And after hours you can continue the same thing, when you have enough hunting and attention. A prayer movement will come during reading - get up and pray. Read with someone or alone? - It's better alone. Because at the same time it is more convenient to take care of yourself and apply what you read to yourself. Reflection must be inserted into reading, otherwise it will go into daydreaming and you won’t get it. So they revered, thought, bowed, and that’s all the activities appropriate for someone fasting at home. But it is not always possible to constantly maintain attention under such tension. When you get tired, you can sit down to work, as I already mentioned (9, pp. 122–124). And it’s good that you said that you need to fast. It is necessary, but not too much. You already eat little. We must have the strength to stand in church and bow down at home. But whatever you find more convenient and at your disposal, do so. You just need to let the body know that it is also to blame for the fact that it is necessary to repent and therefore bear the labors of fasting. And we need to take away a little of both duration and peace from sleep. This article seems to require you to make a sacrifice. And don’t be lazy to accept it as best you can. All kinds of hardships are appropriate these days. What about talking? “And we can talk, but not about trifles, but about the same things.” Instead of talking, schedule an hour to read together - and read together. It would be very nice in the evening. Nothing could be better if one of you told edifying stories in which the power of Repentance and Communion was manifested (9, pp. 124–125). 26. Preparation for Confession Do not take on a gloomy appearance, do not darken your face. Do everything willingly, with a kind and joyful disposition of spirit. So spend your time as those who will be at the king’s feast spend it. These only have thoughts and speeches about how this feast will be, how to meet the king, what to say, how he will greet, how to dress up better and not lose face in the dirt, etc. But you have before you an incomparably better and higher thing - a feast is offered not to the earthly, but to the heavenly King. If you take the trouble to dress up and prepare in such a way that the Tsar will like you, you will be caressed by Him, you will receive something that has no price, and you will be overjoyed beyond words. You said that you would undertake to fast - so fast! Bless, Lord! Feel free to figure out how to dress up. All the old dresses are gone, new ones are in order. If anything old turns out to be good, then wash, iron and present everything as if it were completely new. I want to say that you need to reconsider yourself: thin out and discard the bad, and retain, straighten and improve the good. Let us enter into ourselves and begin to sort out what is in us. Intervention in this matter by any third party is inappropriate and completely impossible. No one can enter into you and sort out the affairs of your conscience except you yourself. And please do it yourself. I will give you just a few instructions in this case... In order to take a good look at ourselves, we need to pay attention to three aspects of our active life: to deeds - individual actions performed at such and such a time, in such and such a place and under such and such circumstances; on heart dispositions and characteristic inclinations hidden under deeds; and on the general spirit of life. Our whole life consists of a continuous series of actions: thoughts, words, deeds, one replacing another and driving one another. There is no way to review all such acts (especially each one) and determine their moral value. Even if you decided to go through and re-judge your deeds committed on the same day, you will not be able to do this. Man is a constantly moving creature. How many times he changes his mind and changes from morning to evening! How much will he do from Confession to Confession! How can we be here? There is no need to go through everything and rethink everything. We have a vigilant guard - conscience. She will never let anything go wrong; and no matter how you explain to her that this is nothing, but this will do, she will not stop repeating everything: what is bad is bad. And here’s the first thing for you: listen to your conscience and recognize all those deeds that it denounces as sinful without any apology and get ready to confess them... ...Second thing. Go through the commandments and see whether you have fulfilled them or not (9, pp. 125–128). 27. Perfect preparation for the Sacrament of Repentance and Communion. Feelings needed by a penitent So what use should you make of the knowledge you have gained about yourself? First of all, you need to condemn yourself for all your faults, without any excuses or justifications. When at the Presanctified Liturgy, after “Let my prayer be corrected,” they sing, “Do not turn my heart into the words of wickedness, do not forgive the guilt of sins,” then the believers are encouraged to pray so that God will not allow them to come up with excuses for their sins with crafty resourcefulness. Whoever comes up with such excuses, don’t expect repentance from him; and whoever has no repentance will not undertake self-correction. The whole point, therefore, is to judge oneself without pity, to bring oneself to the point where one sincerely says in one’s heart: it’s all my fault. When it says in your heart: “I’m guilty,” then you must add to this the fear of God’s condemnation. If your conscience condemns you, then God will not blame you either. And God sees you as guilty. If he sees it like that, he condemns it. If he condemns, he also awards a decision or determination of a worthy punishment. Today or tomorrow this punishment falls on you, and it is already hanging over you when you are condemned by God. How can this be? And I wouldn’t know what to do if it weren’t for the mercy of God. The merciful God gives us the hope of forgiveness of guilt if we contritely repent and make a firm intention to avoid previous sins and not anger God with them. This is the essence of repentance. So, do not be a cold connoisseur of your faults, but lament them and sincerely regret that they were allowed to happen. Contrition will give birth to a humble determination to avoid failure; and knowledge alone, although it will be accompanied by the intention to beware, will lead to pride, from which deliver you, Lord! Having decided to avoid malfunctions, we must now figure out and decide how to manage this, so that from this very moment we can begin to actually correct ourselves. If you were angry, for example, about something - stop being angry anymore and determine how to better adjust yourself so as not to get angry. Likewise, with regard to everything else, we must now determine in advance what to do in which case, so as not to end up in trouble again. To make this more convenient, write down your faults as soon as you recognize them, and immediately add how you think you can improve them. This will be your first general and completely correct Confession. Try to do this for the Lord's sake. You will see what power you will then gain over yourself and how powerfully you will begin to control yourself, with the consciousness of the suitability of this and not another mode of action. Contrite over sins and setting the intention not to sin, we must add to this a fervent prayer to the Lord, so that He will give His help to resist sin, and believe that the Lord will not withhold such help. Christians should have the conviction deep in their hearts that just as their sins, which they lament and confess with a promise to avoid them, are forgiven by the merciful Lord for the sake of His death on the cross, so at the same time the grace of God is given, by virtue of the same death on the cross, in order to avoid sins. This grace descends upon a strong determination not to sin and unshakable, bright faith in Christ the Savior. When you have completed this, you are ready for Confession, and when, through Confession, you receive permission for your sins, you will be ready for Holy Communion. In response to your sincere repentance and firm determination to be correct, the Lord will come in His Holy Mysteries and dwell in you and will be in you and you will be in Him. Oh, the great and ineffable mercy of the All-Bountiful God (9, pp. 133–135)! 28. The necessary determination of the fasting person to devote himself to God is considered as a conscious renewal of the vows given for us at Baptism Start a little and you will have time to do everything properly. But if you don’t have time to do everything as you would like, do it as best you can. The Lord is not picky about little things. He values ​​diligence and intention. He will accept your effort to reconsider and rebuild yourself as something that has already been accomplished, just don’t give up on it, but keep in mind to continue and continue until you reach the end. The main thing, i.e. the decisive intention to devote yourself entirely to the Lord, you must certainly arouse, strengthen and establish in yourself once and for all. This is an urgent condition for receiving the grace given in the Sacraments of Repentance and Holy Communion (9, p. 142). Before, you fasted and did everything that is usually done at this time. But now you are going to do it more thoroughly, with consciousness of the matter. Based on this, I explain to you what now stands behind you - it is worth it for you to pronounce those vows that were given for you by others. Then others for you renounced Satan and all his works and all his ministry (secular life), and now you yourself will renounce all this. Then they assured you that you would be united with Christ and would serve and worship Him; now you yourself will say this with all your soul and with all your heart. Enter into this with conviction and accept the corresponding resolutions. The Lord be your helper, and the Mother of God, and your Guardian Angel! May the grace of the All-Holy Spirit overshadow you in the Sacraments of Confession and Holy Communion, which you approach with such good disposition and decision (9, pp. 143–144). Please clarify the matter for yourself. The one who confesses is only a witness, but the Lord accepts sins. He also commands the confessor to give permission for sins to the confessor. The Lord is all mercy. He only waits for someone to confess their sin, and as soon as someone confesses their sins, forgiveness immediately follows. Is this the kind of Lord to be afraid of? In part, this fearfulness occurs because it is not clear what exactly should be said in the spirit. But when you do everything as prescribed, then everything will be clear to you. And there is nothing to be afraid of. And that’s also why we have this fearfulness, because we rarely confess. If we confessed more often, we wouldn’t be so afraid. Perhaps God willing, from now on you will come to the Lord’s Table more often and, therefore, confess (9, p. 151). Here's what you do, though! Write down everything that you find necessary to reveal in spirit, and when you come to your confessor, tell everything with the help of a note. After all, real Confession must be its own, i.e. the confessor himself must tell what he has sinned about, and not wait for the confessor to ask. This is how it is with us, and confession rarely goes as it should. The confessor, of necessity, asks a lot of unnecessary things, which does not go to the confessor, and what is necessary happens and is not asked. So it goes unconfessed. You can tell yourself what is on your conscience, even without a note, if you hope to remember everything, just be sure to tell everything yourself. Bless you, Lord, to confess with a spirit of contrition and with a firm determination to be correct in everything afterward, but without any fear. It is completely unnecessary and gets in the way of things (9, pp. 151–152). Go to the Lord calmly, albeit with contrition of heart; go, as in the parable the bad son went to his father. The father of his returning son did not scold or revile him, but extended his arms to him and kissed him. The same is ready for you. The embrace of the Lord is already extended to you. All you have to do is rush into them. And do this with reverent love (9, p. 152). The main thing in repentance is the illness of the heart about one’s failure before the Lord and the firm intention to try forward to be correct in everything. You have already expressed your decision to please the Lord, and the Lord, who sees everything, has, of course, already accepted it. But is heart disease a malfunction? Try to excite. No matter how few sins you have and no matter how light they seem, they are still sins and are under God’s displeasure. How ashamed we are sometimes in front of people because of an empty careless word or movement! And here is the Lord, and not empty things, but sins. Manage to be sorrowful and sick before the Lord because of everything. Afterwards, from this contrition the strength will be exuded not to go into trouble (9, pp. 152–153). You asked to review everything in detail again and rearrange it. Maybe we didn’t have time to do everything or didn’t do it as completely as we planned; don't be embarrassed by that. The Lord values ​​your main intention and decision to be correct in everything before Him. For His sake there is forgiveness of sins and cleansing of grace. And go to the Lord with this firm intention to be correct in return for all the faults that have already been known and are about to be known. Bring the firm intention to the Lord to unswervingly fulfill everything that your conscience now considers obligatory for you and that it finds so later, do not be embarrassed by everyone else (9, p. 153). It is better to confess in the evening before Communion, so that you can devote the night and morning entirely to thoughts of receiving the Lord. At this time, read the sermons before Holy Communion in the book that I gave you. Otherwise, sit and think about the Lord, praying to Him in your heart: “Lord, do as you want with me and in me, just do not deprive me of Your fellowship.” And everyone pray this short prayer, adding bows to it. If you put off Confession until the morning, then in the evening your thoughts will double and something confused will come out (9, p. 153). When approaching the Holy Mysteries, approach with simplicity of heart, with full faith that you are receiving the Lord into yourself and with corresponding reverence. Whatever happens in your soul after this, leave it to the Lord Himself to do it. Many people desire in advance to receive this and that from Holy Communion, and then, not seeing it, they are confused and even waver in their faith in the power of the Sacrament. And the fault is not in the Sacrament, but in these unnecessary guesses. Do not promise yourself anything, but leave everything to the Lord, asking Him for one mercy - to strengthen you for every good thing to please Him. The fruit of Communion most often resonates in the heart with sweet peace; sometimes it brings enlightenment in thoughts and inspiration in devotion to the Lord; sometimes almost nothing is visible, but then the deeds reveal great strength and steadfastness in the promised serviceability. I will also note here that we do not see tangible fruits from Holy Communion because we rarely receive communion. Commit yourself to receive communion as often as possible, and you will see the comforting fruits of this Sacrament (9, pp. 153–154). 29. Instruction on thorough Confession But what you didn’t say at Confession of some sin was done poorly. Whether great or small, deed or word, but as soon as the conscience says that something is a sin, it must be cleansed by Confession and Repentance. The essence of the Sacrament of Repentance is the resolution of the said sin. A sin that is not said will not be resolved and remains in the soul - and will go with it to the next world. A black spot on a white dress will be all the more noticeable. Cunning will not help there. We must do as it should be done, not by people, but by the Lord Himself. The Lord says: speak out your iniquities first, so that you may be justified 109 (Is. 43:26). And to console us and ease this, sometimes not entirely easy matter, he laid down the law: if you bind anyone on earth, they will be bound in heaven; and even if you permit it on earth, it will be permitted in heaven 110 (Matthew 18:18). Confirm well and take to heart that everything that is not permitted on earth by the divinely established order remains unresolved in Heaven. And hurry to make up for this omission. Now you need, while repenting of the sin missed at Confession, to repent of what you obviously missed (9, p. 241). There are tears from weakness of heart, from great softness of character, from illness, and others forcibly irritate themselves to cry, there are tears from grace. The price of tears is not determined by the water flowing from the eyes, but by what happens in the soul during and after them. Not having the grace of tears, I do not undertake to talk about them, I can only guess that grace-filled tears are connected with many changes in the heart. The main thing is that the heart should then burn in the fire of God’s Judgment, but without pain and burning, but with tenderness brought by hope from the Throne of the merciful God, who judges sin and has mercy on the sinner. It also seems to me that these tears should come at the end of labor - not external, but labor on the cleansing of the heart, as the last washing or rinsing of the soul. They also happen not for an hour, not a day or two, but for years. So says St. Isaac the Syrian. There is also, they say, a kind of crying of the heart without tears, but just as valuable and powerful as tears. The latter is better for those living with others who can see. Yet the Lord who saves everyone builds (11, pp. 3–4)! 31. Confession requires skill and God’s help What does it mean to ignite trouble around you, you ask? This is a deep sense of the danger of one’s position - and extreme danger, from which there is no other salvation than in the Lord Jesus Christ. This feeling will drive us to the Lord and make us cry out incessantly: help, protect! All the saints had it and never left them. Opposite to it is a feeling of contentment with one’s position, which calms a person and extinguishes in him all concern for salvation. Full - and what else? I didn’t mean only the memory of sins, but in general the feeling that there was nowhere to go except the Lord (11, p. 6). Don't you have anything to tell at Confession? This is because you are righteous. Let us pray that the Lord will make you a sinner, that is, that the tax collector’s voice will come to you: God, be merciful to me, a sinner! Pray: grant me to see my sins... Meanwhile, work and learn to walk before the Lord. As you become more proficient in this, you will begin to descend from the steps of righteousness to an environment where there are sinners... and when you join their number, then you will not be able to list all your sins. Not only is a deed a sin, but also thoughts, feelings and desires are sinful. The latter are not visible, for there is no eye looking into the heart: that is righteousness. This eye cannot look when it is covered with vanity like dust. Walking before the Lord means not taking your attention away from Him - this is the goal. But thinking about Him a little and giving up is not the same. When he comes, the Lord will begin to judge thoughts and thoughts. So the sins will be revealed, and there will be so many of them that there will be trouble (11, pp. 6–7)! 32. About preparation for Confession Today is the Sunday of the Publican and the Pharisee! The sound of a trumpet was heard. You need to prepare for a feat. It will sound again one day, and again, and again... And then the doors of repentance will open... Let us all go and fall before the merciful Lord. The Father's embrace is open to everyone. Let us rush into them with boldness and disappear into the boundless sea of ​​God’s mercy (11, pp. 14–15). After noise and entertainment, the soul, not completely spoiled, yearns. The heart, languishing from suffocation in an alien atmosphere, gathers itself and complains to God and man himself that he is being tormented for no reason. So, this prayer is the cry of a patient for healing. The Lord sends these moments of tenderness after entertainment and even during it, to remind a person that he is acting wrongly, wasting time in vain in vanity and ruining his soul (11, p. 15). You felt gloomy, alienated, sad because you didn’t get to go to Maslenaya. Yes, this feeling is the most natural, but it’s not entirely right, and you have to scold your soul and heart for it. After all, to be alienated from the world is a commandment. So, it’s not bad that you felt alienated. Read the 64th word of Isaac the Syrian. But why the feeling of orphanhood and sadness? Do we lag behind one shore and not reach the other? We are alienated from the world in order to be with the Lord and His saints, i.e. we leave one unkind society and enter another... and we leave precisely in order to join it. Come to Mount Zion, and to the city of the living God, heavenly Jerusalem, and to the multitude of angels, the triumph, and the church of the firstborn in heaven, and God the Judge of all, and the righteous in spirit, and to the Mediator of the new covenant, Jesus 111 (Heb. 12:22-24). Do you see what kind of society? And the soul is sad and screams: I am an orphan. So it is necessary to scold her: ...don’t forget, don’t forget... That’s why there is sadness, because the soul has forgotten, and the feeling of communication has left the heart. At such moments, it is necessary to revive the memory of the spiritual world and move the heart so that sympathy arises. Doesn't he take it? To go to God's church... And that doesn't work? To endure, crying out to God for help to a poor heart, but still stand your ground, i.e. don't go wild. For it happens that in sadness someone will say: go for a little walk... Do it only once, then every day there will be a urge to have fun. And there is constant revelry. What a win! All that remains is a reminder - this road is boring, hard, lonely (11, pp. 23–24). Why do you go to Confession as a righteous woman? Of course, you don’t say: not like other people... that would be too much. But a general feeling of unworthiness is not enough. You can somehow get to the point of saying: I’m a sinner in this, and I’m a sinner in that. After all, you say: I sinned in word, in deed, in thought. Isn't there idle talk? Isn't there laughter? Is time being wasted on trifles? Has anyone been tempted by anything? Are thoughts always good? I think that if you delve into your thoughts, you will accumulate such a pile of sins that you will not be able to lift them up. You need to stand close to your heart and learn to notice the thoughts and feelings that flow from it. Then you will see what a stinking thing our seemingly kind heart is. And then minute-by-minute repentance and confession will come to the omnipresent and all-seeing God. Help you, Lord! On the day of Holy Communion you were sad. What to do? And thank the Lord for that. Give thanks for everything. This is what we need: not to measure ourselves, i.e. how many arshins rose from the ground... it’s better to completely forget about this measure. Let it be one: they are good for nowhere (11, pp. 24–25). Look at Macarius of Egypt’s rule: you must force yourself to do every good deed... The Kingdom of God is forced, and the needy delights e 112 (Matthew 11:12). After all, we have a mixture of good and evil, and every good has its own evil... We must strangle the latter and resurrect the former. How can you do this without difficulty when you turn over from side to side - and then you need tension (11, pp. 26–27)? 34. Repentance quenches the wrath of God “Be comforted! After all, the Lord does not bring wrath every day. The heart of God is wide, wide... For us it is sparrow-like. What to do?.. He who endures to the end will be saved 113, said the Lord; but does not say when and what the end will be and what will happen ahead, a storm or a hurricane. But you can’t figure out how to stand, and you can’t figure out how others stand. In Your hands, O Lord, we commend our spirit! By understanding both, let us understand the ways of God. Repentance cleanses everything and quenches the wrath of God. God will not despise a contrite and humble heart (11, pp. 28–29). 35. About recording sins before Confession For Confession, writing down sins is a good rule. Get used to this: every time an unkind thought, feeling, desire, word, deed breaks through... immediately repent to the Lord, who is omnipresent and all-seeing, with contrition and a decision to be more careful in the future. To do this, you need to pay attention to yourself... that is, watch what is happening in your soul... And everything will go well. After this in the evening it will not be difficult to sum up how many mistakes were made during the day (6, p. 48). 36. Instruction on the embarrassment of a short Confession The priest acted badly in spirit. But you could also ask him to wait a minute. However, don't be embarrassed. What was not said is not a concealment of sin; Therefore, the Lord will not place those sins in such a way that you should be considered to have received communion unworthily, for the sake of your intention to confess everything. Next time, don’t indulge the priest... and tell everything, tell us what you wanted to say and couldn’t (8, pp. 157–158). 37. The Lord's penance for the guilty The Lord has His own penance for every guilty person, which consists in the fact that He immediately accepts the repentant person into mercy, but does not return the former to him immediately, but waits for contrition and humility to develop. If someone torments himself mercilessly, he will soon return, but if he gives himself some indulgence, then not soon. Here's the program for you. Please keep all this in mind... and work... Above all, hold yourself in humility and faith and surrender to the Lord. And everything will come to its order. The valet was at fault. The master kicked him out and drove him out of the yard. Then, when he burst into tears, the gentleman took pity on him and accepted him into the house, but not as a valet, but said: “Live in the kitchen for now. I’ll see how things work out for you... and then, maybe, I’ll take you on as a valet again.” This is the situation you are in. If you please, manage and get down to business (8, p. 205). I, I Myself, blot out your crimes for My own sake and will not remember your sins. Remember Me; let's go to court; speak to justify yourself (Isa. 43:25-26). whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven; and whatever you permit on earth will be permitted in heaven. But you have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, to the heavenly Jerusalem and ten thousand angels, to the triumphant council and church of the firstborn written in heaven, and to God the Judge of all, and to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, and to Jesus, the Mediator of the new covenant. The Kingdom of Heaven is taken by force, and those who use force take it away. He who endures to the end will be saved (Matthew 10:22). You might be interested in: