Часть вторая. Годы странничества – в поисках духовного руководства

“You walked through fire and water, and brought us to rest.” (Psalm 65:12) Chapter 1. The beginning of the wandering. Arrival in Chernigov. Life in the Lyubech Monastery. First temptation. Flight to right-bank Ukraine Leaving his home, the Academy, his homeland, a calm and prosperous life, dooming himself to poverty and wandering, young Peter was clearly aware of what he was doing. He saw the terrible power of the “world” and was afraid that this “world” would bind and entangle his soul with its customs and demands, and would not extinguish in him the holy fire of love for God. Decisively and forever breaking the bonds of the “world” and freeing himself from any kind of claim on his part to his inner freedom, Peter acted according to the example of Saint Alexy, the man of God, in the confidence that the Lord would not leave him on this path, just as He did not leave Saint Alexy, and that in his soul that holy fire of love for God, which he had made the main goal of his life, would kindle a hundredfold. Let us follow our young wanderer and see what he met on his wandering path, and to what extent his cherished thoughts and desires were fulfilled When Peter was wondering where to direct his steps, the idea came to him to visit Chernigov, where the spiritual mentor Hieroschemamonk Pachomius then lived. From him he hoped to receive advice and blessings for his further path. Peter found himself a travel companion, one of the Academy’s students, who was planning to go through Chernigov to his father. They found an old boatman who agreed to take them by water to Chernigov for a fee. Having bought everything they needed for the journey, they set off. Having sailed a little along the Dnieper, they entered the Desna and, sailing upstream, with great difficulty they reached the small town of Ostra ten days later. Their voyage was associated with great hardships. It was already October, and the time was harsh. Peter, having no warm clothes, was shivering from the cold, especially when it was raining with snow, and the wind was piercing through. When night fell, the travelers pulled their boat ashore, lit a big fire and warmed up as much as they could. But even here Peter had the worst time of all. Not having enough clothes, he, while warm on one side, froze on the other and, turning from side to side all night, could hardly sleep. Another big difficulty for them was that they had to swim against the current all the time and constantly work with the oars. Peter's companions were stronger than him. Peter, who was weak by nature and had not known physical labor since childhood, worked beyond his strength, causing his whole body to ache greatly, especially his arms and legs. To add insult to injury, their boat was so small that it could barely support three people, rising only three or four fingers above the water. When the river became rough, water would flood the boat and it would be necessary to continuously bail it out so as not to sink. One day they found themselves in a shallow place in the middle of the river, and their boat almost capsized. They jumped out onto the sand and, standing knee-deep in the water, held the boat, pouring water out of it. Due to the speed of the current, the sand slipped from under their feet and carried them with it down the river. Peter almost fainted from fright, but somehow, with great effort, they managed to hold the boat and, having poured water out of it, they continued on their way again. When they sailed to Ostre, they saw a man on the shore watching their boat nearly sink into the water. When they swam to the shore and got out of the boat, this man reproachfully said to the boatman: “How come you did not fear God and took these young people in such a small boat along such a dangerous river! You yourself are already old and you are not afraid to die, but you would take a grave sin on your soul by destroying these young men. For this you not only did not deserve any payment for your work, but you should also be punished.” Having said these words, the kind man invited the young people to his house and took care of them for several days. On his advice, they parted with their boatman, and Peter’s friend paid him only half of the agreed payment, and Peter, in order not to upset the old man, gave him payment for the entire journey to Chernigov. After this, their caring owner found another boatman for them, paying him for their transportation and maintenance to Chernigov. Having thanked their kind patron, the young travelers set off on their further journey. This time they no longer required any help from them and provided them with food and complete peace. A few days later, the Bodcin Mountains, covered with dense forest, appeared, where the Monk Anthony of Pechersk once labored, and the crosses of Chernigov churches and monasteries began to shine. The travelers joyfully thanked God for their safe arrival in Chernigov. Having said goodbye to his companions, Peter went to the bishop's house, where he found his spiritual father, Hieroschemamonk Pachomius, who was very happy with him. After living with Pachomius for several days, Peter told him about his plans and asked him for advice on where and how best to cross the border and begin his journey. Pachomius told him: “It is best for you to go to the monastery, which is located not far from Lyubech, the birthplace of St. Anthony of Pechersk. There you will find Hieroschemamonk Joachim, who will teach you what to do. The Lyubech Monastery stands above the Dnieper on the Polish border, and it will be convenient for you to go abroad from there. Stay with me until market day, and then you can easily find a person who will take you to Lyubech.” Peter did just that. But, not finding a person going to Lyubech, he hired a peasant from a village located halfway to Lyubech, who agreed to take him with him. After spending the night in the village, Peter asked his driver to take him further, but he refused. Then Peter, having prayed to God, went alone with great fear, because the road went through a dense forest, and he, traveling for the first time in his life, was very afraid of wild animals. However, everything turned out well and, having passed through the forest, Peter saw in the distance Lyubech and the monastery, no more than three miles from the city, and was very happy. When Peter began to approach closer to the monastery, he noticed that slingshots were placed from the city to the Dnieper and guards stood near them, and the monastery was on the other side of the slingshots. Peter did not have any written form, and he was afraid that the guards would detain him 38. Praying internally, Peter approached the slingshots. At this time, a monk appeared from the city towards the monastery on the other side of the slingshots. Stopping near the guard, the monk began to look at the approaching Peter; when the guard called out to him, the monk, not allowing him to answer, exclaimed: “Why are you asking who he is? Don’t you see that this is a novice monk returning to the monastery?” The guards immediately let Peter through, and he, going up to the monk, asked for his blessing, since he guessed that it was the hieromonk. The hieromonk, whose name was Arkady, brought Peter to the monastery and, before the arrival of the abbot, who was away, placed him in his cell. Noticing that Father Arkady was a spiritual husband, Peter was very happy to meet him and wanted to stay with him. When the abbot returned, Father Arkady, pointing at him to Peter from the window of his cell, said: “And here is our father, the abbot, standing in the middle of the monastery. Look, brother, is this how your abbots walk in Kyiv?” Looking out the window, Peter saw a venerable gray-haired old man in a thick black scroll and was very surprised at his simplicity and humility: for the first time in his life he had to see such a poorly dressed abbot. Father Arkady took Peter out into the courtyard and brought him to the abbot. Having blessed Peter, the abbot, as usual, asked: “Where are you from, brother, what is your name, and why did you come to our monastery?” Peter answered: “I came here from the Kyiv country to obey, and my name is Peter.” Hearing his answer, the abbot rejoiced and said: “Thank God that He sent you to us. We recently had a novice Peter, who was our cellarer; but it’s been two days since he left the monastery. You bear his name, and I entrust you with his obedience. Be our cellarer." Hearing these words of the abbot, Father Arkady said with surprise: “Holy Father, this brother has just come to the monastery and does not yet know the monastic order at all: let him first live at least a little in my cell and take a closer look at our life, and then you will determine for him the obedience that you find necessary.” To this the abbot replied: “I would be glad to carry out your advice if I had a person suitable for cellar obedience. But you yourself know that we don’t have people, and I inevitably must, without delay, appoint him to this position.” Having said this, the abbot immediately led Peter to the cellar and, showing him everything that was there, explained to him his duties and handed him the keys. Peter's duties were to provide the cooks with a certain amount of supplies necessary for the meal: flour, butter, cereals, fish, etc. (Peter bowed at the abbot's feet and accepted the blessing. Thus began Peter’s life in the monastery. Peter was given a cell not far from the abbot's room. It consisted of two rooms: in the smaller one lived the same hieromonk Joachim, to whom Fr. Pachomius, and in the large one Peter was placed with one old monk and one novice. Peter diligently began to fulfill his obedience, although it was not easy for him, since several times a day he had to remove and put on the heavy stones that covered the tubs of supplies, and this tired him very much. He did not dare to tell anyone about this, and patiently fulfilled his duty, asking God to strengthen his strength. At first, Peter remained in his worldly clothes, but he was soon given a scroll of coarse black cloth, and he did not remember himself with joy. A short time later, the old monk who lived in the same cell with Peter died, and the abbot gave Peter the cassock of the deceased monk made of coarse gray cloth, saying: “If you like these clothes, take them and wear them.” Peter gratefully accepted the monastic robe and, having arrived in his cell, first of all kissed it several times, like a shrine, and wore it until it was completely torn. Peter's obedience began during matins and ended late in the evening. After this, Peter had to read the cell rule to Hieroschemamonk Joachim. Living so close to this elder, Peter had every opportunity to turn to him with a question that was on his mind, but natural shyness and timidity prevented him from speaking to him. Meanwhile, the abbot appointed Father Joachim to live in the monastery monastery, five miles from the monastery, and Peter lost the opportunity to ask the elder for advice. The abbot handed over Father Joachim's cell to Peter. Taking care of Peter's external life, the abbot did not leave his inner life without guidance. He gave him the book of John Climacus and said: “Take, brother, this book, read it with attention and be instructed in holy obedience and every good deed, since this book is very useful for the soul.” Peter took the book with great joy and immediately began to read it. Peter liked the book to such an extent that he decided, taking advantage of the free time at night, to copy it for himself. Not having a candle, Peter prepared a splinter, no less than a fathom long, and, sticking such a splinter into a crevice of the wall, he copied the book by its light, experiencing great inconvenience, since the smoke from the splinter filled the room, ate his eyes and made it difficult to breathe. Then Peter opened the window for a while, let out the smoke and got back to work. work. Over time, Peter managed to get a light bulb, and then the correspondence went faster, so that by the time he left the monastery, he managed to rewrite more than half of the book. Peter really liked life in the monastery, but, unfortunately, his peace of mind did not last long. Soon a great temptation befell him, which greatly troubled his soul. Taking a closer look at Peter, the brethren of the monastery noticed his gentle character and inability to refuse requests. And so almost all of them, not only ordinary monks, but also hierodeacons and hieromonks, began to come to Peter and ask him who needed what: wheat flour, millet, cereals, etc. Without orders from the abbot, Peter did not know what to do. He was afraid to ask the abbot, thinking that if the abbot forbade it, and due to his weakness he was unable to refuse, he would turn out to be even more guilty. At the same time, his conscience did not allow him to distribute supplies without the knowledge and blessing of the abbot. Seeing how the most respected and honorable fathers came to him, the last one in the monastery, and begged him for what they needed, he was ashamed to even look them in the face and, drowning out his conscience, did not dare to refuse their request. The cooks, for their part, taking advantage of Peter’s weakness, persuaded him to give them a double portion of supplies, assuring that this would result in tastier food. And indeed, the food turned out to be much tastier, so that all the brethren were very pleased, praised and thanked Peter for taking such care of them, and some even said that for his kindness the Lord was sending the monastery abundance in everything. Peter feigned joy with them, but in the depths of his soul he had no peace, and his conscience constantly tormented him. The abbot continued to treat Peter with unchanging affection. It was his custom to invite one of the monks of the monastery to his place for dinner. He often invited Peter. Entering the abbot's cell and seeing him sitting in the refectory with one of the older brethren, Peter modestly stood at the door and did not dare to approach those sitting. But at the call of the abbot, he timidly sat down at the table and took part in the meal. The food at the abbot's table was the simplest: some kind of brew and buckwheat porridge. The drinks served included sorrel or pear kvass, the same one that was served to the rest of the brethren. More than once the abbot instructed Peter to read in the refectory. And when some particularly touching life happened and Peter read it in the way he learned at school, many of the brothers became moved, cried and stopped eating. And some even got up from the table and, surrounding Peter, listened to him with tears. All this touched Peter very much. But most of all he was touched when he saw with what love, meekness and humility and with what patience the abbot, like a true father, ruled the brethren. If any of the brethren happened to sin in anything, the abbot immediately forgave him, if only he saw his repentance, instructed him with useful words and gave him a rule according to his strength. Having such a wise and gentle mentor, the brethren lived in deep peace and thanked God. But now the end of this peaceful and happy life has come. Three months after Peter’s arrival at the monastery, His Grace Anthony, Metropolitan of Moldova, who then ruled the Chernigov diocese, appointed a new abbot to the Lyubech monastery, a learned man, a certain Herman Zagorovsky, who, having arrived at the monastery, began to rule it not according to the example of the meek Nicephorus, but “imperiously,” as the life writer of Elder Paisius puts it. Recognizing the disposition of their new boss, the brethren trembled, and some even fled from the monastery to God knows where. Peter, fulfilling his obedience, trembled all the time, lest he should sin in something and anger the new boss. His fears were soon realized. One day, during Great Lent, the new abbot ordered Peter to give the cook some cabbage for his table. Not having clearly heard the abbot’s words and not daring to ask again, Peter called the cook and ordered him to take cabbage for the abbot’s table. When the cabbage was cooked and served to the abbot, he, looking at it, ordered to call Peter. Peter appeared. The abbot, getting up from the table, approached Peter and said: “Did I order you to give this cabbage to my table?” And without waiting for an answer, he hit Peter on the cheek so that he could barely stand on his feet. Then the abbot forcefully pushed him beyond the threshold of his cell, shouting after him: “There, 42 the slacker!” Trembling with fear, Peter came to his cell and began to think: “If the abbot treated him so cruelly for such an insignificant offense, then what will happen if he is guilty of something more serious?” It happened at this time that the abbot’s cell attendant, who lived in the same cell with Peter, also angered the abbot with something. And the abbot had already boasted to someone that he would deal with both of them in his own way. The brethren, in their favor to Peter, conveyed to him the abbot’s words. The cell attendant, who knew his boss well, decided to flee the monastery and invited Peter with him. Peter, not expecting anything good for himself from the abbot, agreed to flee with him. An opportunity to escape presented itself in the sixth week of Lent. At night, when the brothers were sleeping, the fugitives, having prayed to God, quietly left the monastery and went down to the Dnieper, on the banks of which border guards were stationed everywhere. Having spotted a convenient place between the guards, the fugitives walked across the Dnieper with great fear, fearing that they would be noticed and caught, especially since it was a moonlit night. The ice on the river was still strong, and they, unnoticed by anyone, safely crossed to the other side of the Dnieper. Since there was still a lot of time left until the morning, and they did not dare to walk along an unfamiliar road, having found a convenient place, they settled down to spend the rest of the night here and gather strength for further wandering. Chapter 2. Wandering through the right bank of Ukraine Chernobyl. Rzhishchev. The story of an Orthodox sexton tortured by the Uniates. Hermit Hesychius. Stay in the Medvedovsky monastery. Peter's tonsure into the ryassophore. Oppression from the Uniates. Departure to the Kiev Pechersk Lavra As soon as it was dawn, the fugitives found the road and soon arrived at some village. Having rested and refreshed ourselves with food, we moved further south. They passed through huge forests, spending the night in passing villages or simply in the forest under the open sky. A few days later they approached the Pripyat River, on the other bank of which they saw the city of Chernobyl, but hesitated to go there, since the ice on the river was no longer reliable. When they stood and thought, several more people approached the river and boldly walked on the ice to the other side. Then our travelers followed them, but with great fear, because in many places the ice had already fallen through. Having reached the middle of the river, they saw in front of them a deep crack, a yard wide. Peter's heart sank with fear. Feeling as if imminent death was in front of him, he stepped over the abyss. The further path presented no difficulties. Coming to the other side, they sat down to rest. As they sat and looked at the path they had just passed, suddenly a terrible noise was heard: the ice crackled and began to break along the entire river. The ice floes, like high walls, pressed against one another and floated downstream. Amazed by this extraordinary sight, Peter and his companion tearfully thanked God, who had led them across the river one moment before it was opened. The city of Chernobyl had neither a fence nor guards around it, and Peter and his comrade freely entered the city and soon found shelter for themselves. It was Lazarus Saturday. The next day, in the morning, when they were walking through the city, someone from behind called Peter by his first and last name. Peter was terribly scared. Looking around, he saw a fellow Poltava citizen, the son of a wealthy city dweller, who, having greeted Peter warmly, invited him and his friend to visit him. On the way, he told Peter that he had come to this city on behalf of Poltava Colonel Kochubey to buy timber. After that, he told Peter about his mother, who cries for him all the time, and all the residents of Poltava feel sorry for him along with her. Having said this, he began to persuade Peter to return to his mother. Peter was so confused by this unexpected meeting that he could not utter a single word. There was only one thought in his head: if this man wanted, he could detain Peter and take him home. Meanwhile, the acquaintance, continuing to talk affably, brought them to his apartment and ordered them to serve dinner. Out of fear, Peter did not eat anything at dinner. After dinner, saying goodbye to the guests, the acquaintance asked Peter to come see him more often. Thus, Peter's secret became known to his comrade. Having learned of his flight from his mother, his comrade never ceased to admire him for his determination to leave the world. At the same time, he said that before his arrival at the Lyubech Monastery, he lived for a long time in Poltava, at a school at the Cathedral Church of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary, and remembers Peter’s mother and his relatives, and even himself, well, but it could never have occurred to him that Peter was hiding in the Lyubech Monastery. All these praises and conversations from his comrade were very painful for Peter. He saw that he had failed to hide from people. Fearing that he would be detained and sent to Poltava, he decided to leave Chernobyl that same day. Without wasting time, he went to the nearest church school to find out if there was a person there going to Ukraine. Such a person was found, it was a monk who was leaving for the south that same day. Peter began to beg him to take him and his friend with him. The monk reluctantly agreed and ordered them to come quickly. Peter hurried to his apartment, but his comrade was not there. After waiting for him a little and seeing that time was passing, Peter hurried to return to school alone and found the monk already heading out on the road. For many days they passed through continuous forests, approaching Ukraine. At this time, right-bank Ukraine was in a very sad state. She had to endure a lot from the religious fanaticism of both the Jesuits and the Uniates. “It is difficult to imagine,” writes Archbishop Filaret of Chernigov in his “History of the Church,” all the cruelties that were inflicted on the Orthodox at that time. Orthodox priests were tied to poles, beaten with whips, imprisoned, starved, fingers cut off with sabers, arms and legs broken. Those who were still alive, but did not want union, were kicked out of their homes. During the day they attacked the monasteries, robbed and burned them, tormented the monks as best they could, often killing them. Village inhabitants and burghers were tortured with inhuman tortures in order to make them Uniates. The Orthodox people, like sheep, were driven to the Catholic Church or to the Uniate Church. During the very reading of the Gospel, a clerk entered the Orthodox church, beat the people with a whip and drove them away like cattle from a barn. Many suffered the destruction of their homes, painful beatings, and others even death. Kyiv, the center of the religious life of the region, received daily complaints of Orthodox residents of the southwestern region being forcibly converted to the union. Rural priests expelled from parishes by the Uniates, deprived of shelter and property, and often severely insulted or mutilated, came there under the protection of the metropolitan; Numerous crowds of pilgrims came to worship the Kyiv shrines, despite the ban of the authorities and past the Polish military cordons, horrifying them with stories of the suffering they endured in their homeland because of their loyalty to Orthodoxy. The Haidamaks rose up in defense of faith and nationality. At the beginning of the 18th century, the Haidamak movement in right-bank Ukraine was already in full swing, becoming more and more intensified by half the century. The Polish government sent troops to capture and pacify the Haidamaks. These military commands were a heavy burden for the people and further intensified the turmoil.” One of the most powerful Haidamak movements took place in 1734, that is, only five or six years before Velichkovsky’s wanderings that we are describing. This is the country through which and under what alarming circumstances the young seeker of true monasticism had to make his journey. After a few days of wandering, Peter suffered a misfortune: from long and unusual walking, his left leg ached and was swollen from the foot to the knee, so that he moved with great difficulty and had to stop often to rest. His companion was angry and more than once wanted to leave him, and only Peter’s tearful pleas kept him from doing so. They suffered in this way for many days until their sore leg became stronger. Finally, they came to one “hermitage” located above the Dnieper, below Kyiv, and called Rzhishchev. Here Peter suffered a new and very serious illness. As soon as he ate something, he began to vomit violently. Within a month he was so thin and weak that he could barely walk. Then he began to fervently pray to God so that he would not die in this place. At this time, three wandering monks who lived in this monastery decided to go to Moldavia. Peter began to ask to take him with him. Seeing his weakness, the monks did not want to take him, but finally gave in to his persistent requests. With great difficulty Peter left the monastery, but as soon as he climbed up the mountain, where there was open space and fresh air, he immediately felt healthier. That same day they were caught in a field by a terrible thunderstorm. Peter's companions ran forward to quickly get to some kind of housing. Weak Peter could not keep up with them and was caught in heavy rain with thunder and lightning. At the same time, large hail fell, the size of a nut, and covered the entire field by a quarter of an arshin. Getting wet through and through, Peter only reached the village where his comrades had taken refuge late at night. Having spent the night in one hut, the next day Peter found his comrades who were staying at the school with the sexton. Seeing Peter healthy and unharmed, they were very happy. Then they began to ask the sexton, which way should they go to Moldova? Hearing this question, the sexton said: “I do not advise you, holy fathers, to go there. Now we have soldiers traveling along all our roads to catch robbers, and if you fall into their hands, they can cruelly offend you out of hatred for our Orthodox faith. There was such a case in our village recently. The sexton who was in front of me, fearing denunciation from the persecutor of the Orthodox faith, while reading the creed during the liturgy, pronounced in the eighth member like this: And in the Holy Spirit, the life-giving Lord, who truly comes from the Father, and with this pronunciation he misled the Uniates for some time. However, over time, the landowner nevertheless reported to him that he was not reading the creed according to their custom. Upon learning of this, the landowner became furious and, taking the soldiers with him, entered the church shortly before the reading of the creed. When that blessed sexton went out to the middle of the church and began to read the creed, the landowner came close to him and listened attentively to his every word. The sexton understood the purpose for which the landowner approached him, and began to read especially loudly, slowly and solemnly, and when he came to the words: “And in the Holy Spirit,” then, being filled with the grace of the Holy Spirit, he exclaimed even louder and more clearly: “And in the Holy Spirit, the life-giving Lord, who proceedeth from the Father,” discarding the word truth, which he had previously added out of cowardice. The landowner screamed like a wild animal, and immediately in the church he rushed at the sexton, grabbed him by the hair, threw him to the ground and began to trample him with his feet, and then ordered him to be pulled out of the church and mercilessly beat him with sticks. At this time, someone managed to run to the sexton’s mother and inform her about what had happened. Running to her son and shedding tears, she persuaded him not to lose heart, but to give his very life for the Orthodox faith. “Do not be afraid,” she said, “of this short-term torment, but endure death itself for it, so that you will be worthy to receive from Christ the crown of martyrdom in the Kingdom of Heaven.” In response to these words, the sufferer said: “Do not doubt me, dear mother, I am ready to endure not only these wounds, but a thousand times more severe ones for faith, in which alone lies the undoubted hope of salvation.” Listening to these words, the mother rejoiced in spirit and thanked Christ God for the fact that she was honored to be the mother of a sufferer for the faith. The torturer, seeing and hearing everything that was happening, became even more furious and ordered the soldiers to beat the sufferer even more mercilessly. Under these blows, the sufferer of Christ finally gave up his soul into the hands of God.” After listening to this story, our wanderers were horrified and did not dare to go to Moldova, but on the advice of the sexton, they headed down the Dnieper, to the Orthodox monasteries located there. On the way, in one village, they met a hieromonk, from whom they learned that not far from there, on a secluded island in one river, the pious desert dweller Hesychius was being saved. Interested in the wanderer's story, Peter fell behind his comrades and decided not only to visit this hermit, but, if possible, to live with him. This was exactly what his soul was looking for. He asked the hieromonk to take him to Hesychius, and he willingly agreed to this. The hermit greeted them with great love. Leaving Peter here, the hieromonk left, and Peter was very glad that he had finally found the person he needed. This, indeed, was a true servant of God, diligently fulfilling all the commandments and having a great love for the Holy Scriptures. He constantly and diligently worked in copying his father's books. The following incident shows to what extent he was zealous in this matter. Having once heard about a rare and useful book located in a distant monastery of the Chernigov diocese, he did not hesitate to go there on foot and, having asked the abbot and brethren for this book, returned with it to his cell, carefully copied it and took it back, thanking the abbot and brethren for the mercy shown to him. Such was his love for books. Noticing the high spiritual mood of this hermit, Peter passionately wanted to stay with him. However, to his greatest chagrin, the elder never wanted to take him as his disciple. “Child,” he said, “I am a sinful and unworthy person and am not able to direct my own poor soul onto the path of God. How dare I accept you? This matter is beyond my control. Please don’t burden me with your request!” Thinking that the hermit was refusing out of humility, Peter begged him even more insistently, falling on his knees before him; but he remained adamant. Peter's face was swollen from constant tears. But the elder, sympathizing with him with all his soul, stubbornly refused to accept him and said: “I pray you, do not grieve the Lord for the fact that I do not accept you, for I do this not despising your salvation, but for the sake of the weakness of my soul. Place your hope in the Lord, who will not abandon you, who seeks salvation with all your soul, but will guide you by His grace on your path!” Peter did not know what to do and became extremely despondent. The hieromonk who brought him to the elder did not appear; Peter, due to his natural timidity, did not dare to go anywhere alone; it was not possible to stay with the elder. Finally, to the elder the aforementioned hieromonk. The elder began to ask him to take Peter with him and take him to some monastery. The hieromonk agreed. When the moment came for the final parting with the elder, whom Peter loved with all his soul, he fell at the elder’s feet and wept bitterly that he could not live with him in holy obedience. The elder consoled him, advising him to rely on the one God, who would arrange his life according to his wishes. Having warmly thanked the elder for his love, Peter said goodbye to him and, together with the hieromonk, set off on a new journey. Having visited several monasteries, they finally came to the monastery of St. Nicholas, called Medvedovsky. This monastery was located in the region of the Kyiv Metropolitan and had as its abbot hieromonk Nikifor, but not the one under whom Peter entered the Lyubech Monastery. Father Nicephorus kindly received Peter, settled him with another novice and ordered him to go to common obedience with all the brethren. The monks were removing the hay. Peter worked with others. They also sent him to reap bread. When they saw that due to his inexperience he had cut his fingers, they assigned him to carry sheaves to the current. But here, too, he failed. Unable to control the oxen, he overturned the cart and scattered the sheaves. Not knowing what to do or how to fix the problem, he sat on the ground and cried. The brothers came to him and reproached him for not knowing how to do anything. Finally, they instructed him to carry clay and water to the currents. Although this new obedience was also beyond his strength, he performed it with joy. So he worked from early morning until late evening. But his work was not limited to this. The abbot appointed him to also go to the choir, cut bread at meals, serve food to the brethren, clean up and wash dishes, clean the refectory, and Peter did all this with great willingness, rejoicing that he could serve the brethren. When the Dormition Fast began, the chief said to Peter: “On the feast of the Transfiguration of the Lord, I want to tonsure that brother who lives with you in the same cell, and you, into a cassock. Therefore, go to your confessor, confess all your sins to him, and, having received permission from him, be ready to receive the Holy Mysteries of Christ. Go also to Hieromonk Nicodemus and ask him to be your successor at tonsure.” Having bowed at the feet of the leader and accepted the blessing, Peter left the cell, rejoicing and horrified that he had so soon been awarded the first monastic order. He immediately went to the confessor, confessed his sins to him and received permission and blessing to prepare to receive the Holy Mysteries. Then he went to Father Nicodemus, and Nicodemus asked: “Are you asking me about this on your own or on the orders of your superior?” And when he found out that Peter came to him on the orders of his superior, he promised to fulfill his request, ordered him to wash his hair on the day of his tonsure, which was very opportune, since Peter, since leaving the Lyubech monastery, for about five months, had not had the opportunity not only to wash his hair, but even to comb his hair. On the feast of the Transfiguration of the Lord, after the reading of the hours, Peter was tonsured into the ryassophore. In this case, the following circumstance occurred. The boss called Comrade Peter Plato, and Peter Parthenius. When, at the end of the mass, everyone left the church, the monks, not having clearly heard the words of the abbot, began to call Peter Plato, and his comrade Parthenius. Upset by this, Peter went to the boss. The boss told him: “If the brothers changed your names, then so be it. From now on, call yourself: you are Plato, and he is Parthenius, and you do not grieve about this. This, then, is the will of God.” A few days after this, one monk comes to Plato and asks him: “Are you doing anything to serve the old man who was your successor during tonsure?” “No,” answered Plato. “How is this so,” says the monk, “you should serve him with something, for example, chop wood, bring water, light a fire, sweep the cell, and the like.” Plato thanked him for the advice and went to his elder. Bowing to him to the ground, he apologized that until now, due to his ignorance, he had not served him in anything. The elder replied: “It’s enough for you, brother, that you go to general obedience. I don't need any services from you. I can still, thank God, serve myself.” A little time later, Plato again met with the above-mentioned monk, and he, having learned that the elder did not want to accept any services from Plato, told him: “You go to the elder again and ask him to give you the cell rule.” Plato thanked the monk for the new instruction, went again to his elder and asked him to give him the cell rule. The elder told him: “You are a learned brother, so I do not define rules for you, but as God enlightens you, keep the rule in your cell.” A week after this conversation, the elder left the Medvedovsky monastery to an unknown destination, and Plato never met him again. Having described this incident in his notes, Elder Paisios adds: “Thus I was left, like a lost sheep, without a shepherd and a mentor. And nowhere did I have to live in obedience to any father, although, as I see, the structure of my soul in my youth was very favorable to obedience, but I did not receive such a divine gift for my unworthiness.” Not content with the obediences assigned to him, Plato also added special works to them. He willingly helped the cook, brought him water, chopped wood and did much more with joy. At the same time, he tried to accustom himself to little sleep. “When I was young,” he later said, “and was contemplating the beginning of monasticism, I decided in my soul never to lie down, but to spend the whole day in obedience, and the nights in rule, and while standing, take a little sleep. After some time, my legs hurt so much that I could not walk. Then I found a bast box, cut out a part of it from one side and, sitting on it, fell asleep for a while. When I fell asleep deeply, the box overturned, and I was with it. This made me wake up and run to the church to see if I had overslept at Matins, and when I saw the church locked, I happily returned to my cell.” Another time he said: “When I was young, I prayed to God for forty days so that I would not sleep much, and I received from the Lord that three hours a day was enough for me to sleep. Now, in my old age, if I happen to fall asleep for three hours, I consider it a great mercy of God. Many times I wish to sleep for even one hour, but I cannot.” Plato’s life passed quietly and peacefully in the Medvedovsky Monastery, when suddenly a storm arose from the Uniates. An official came to the monastery from the head of the region, who gathered all the monks into the abbot’s cell and began to convince them to accept the union. When he saw that the monks strongly did not agree to this, he became terribly angry and, going to the church, described all the church objects, locked the church, sealed it with his seal and, taking the keys, left with threats. Everything that happened caused great confusion in the monastery, and when the church remained locked for a whole month, the monks began to gradually disperse from the monastery. Plato again thought about moving to Orthodox Moldavia. He was held back only, on the one hand, by the fear of Polish patrols, and on the other, by the lack of an experienced guide. At this time, the monk who gave advice to Plato (his name was Martyrius), together with another monk, a former chorister of the Kyiv Metropolitan, agreed to go to Kyiv and enter the Kiev-Pechersk Lavra. Platon decided to join them. Having prayed to God, the wanderers set off on their journey. It was already December. Very deep snow fell and there were severe frosts, from which Plato, who did not have warm clothes, especially suffered. Somehow they reached the city of Vasilkov and here they were detained by the Polish authorities, who released them only six weeks later, when permission was received to let them cross the border. Soon they safely reached Kiev. Chapter 3. Stay in the Kiev Pechersk Lavra. The story of what happened to Plato’s mother after her son left Poltava. Wonderful Lavra ascetics. The prediction of one of them about Plato’s departure from the Lavra. The unexpected fulfillment of this prediction Upon arrival at the Lavra, our wanderers submitted a petition to the Archimandrite of the Lavra, Timofey Shcherbatsky, to be accepted into the ranks of the brethren. After a little time they were called to the board and, having questioned them in detail, were accepted into the brotherhood. Martyrius was appointed assistant steward, his fellow singer was ordered to sing in the right choir, and Plato was assigned special obedience. It turned out that the Archimandrite of the Lavra, Timofey Shcherbatsky, and Plato’s late father were comrades at the Kyiv fraternal school. There was such a close friendship between them that they swore to each other to maintain mutual love and loyalty until their last breath. Having recognized Plato as the son of his late friend, Archimandrite Timofey considered it his duty to transfer his love for his late father to him. In order to keep Plato in the Lavra forever, and to make it difficult for him to move to another monastery, the archimandrite assigned him such an obedience that can only be found in very few monasteries: he assigned him to Hieromonk Macarius to learn how to engrave icons on copper. Plato, as usual, joyfully accepted this obedience. Macarius fell in love with his student, especially when he noticed his extraordinary modesty and silence, and especially his characteristic that Plato never conveyed to anyone anything from those words and conversations that he heard in the cell of Father Macarius. Noticing this rare quality in his student, Macarius did not hesitate to talk in front of him with those who came to him on business and for advice, and Plato stored everything good and useful from what he heard in his heart. Every day, except Sundays and holidays, having served early mass, Plato came to his teacher and worked with him until the meal, and after the meal until Vespers. At Vespers and Matins he again came to the church and stood there behind the right choir. One day, before Great Lent, when Plato was standing in his usual place, a singer came up to him and said: “The guide is calling you!” Plato was scared. When he approached the charter director, he told him to go to the choir. Plato became even more frightened and said that he could not sing. “It’s okay,” said the charter director, “if you can’t sing, you’ll read whatever is assigned to you.” From that day on, Plato began to stand on the right choir, sang as best he could, and sometimes read the book of hours and canons. Great Lent has arrived. Plato went to the head of the distant caves, Hieroschemamonk John, who was the confessor of all the brethren, and confessed all his sins to him. After reading the prayer of permission, the confessor said with tears: “From your confession, I learned that the Lord saved you from great and grave sins. And if your life had passed somewhere in a desert monastery under the guidance of an experienced elder, then perhaps you would continue to be preserved in both soul and body from further sins. But since you came to live with us sinners in this holy Lavra, located in the middle of the world, I am very afraid that in your youth you might suffer the extreme ruin of your soul here. This can easily happen to you if you become friends with friends who are just as young as you, and who do not have the fear of God in their hearts. And here is my advice to you in the name of God: Never drink alcohol. If you follow this advice of mine, then with God’s help you will be able to avoid the destruction of your soul. So, tell me, child, can you do what I tell you?” The words of the good old man deeply touched Plato and he said: “Since my birth I have not known strong drinks, and they are disgusting to me by my very nature. After these words of yours, which I accept as if from the lips of God himself, I will carry out your advice with all my might.” Hearing this answer, the elder rejoiced and said: “If you fulfill what you promise, then I believe in God that He will protect you from all spiritual harm. Know, however, that many will seek your friendship and persuade you to drink with them. And when they meet your refusal, they will cause you a lot of grief. But you endure everything and do not give in to their persuasion. And they will finally stop pestering you and give you peace. And then the deepest peace will be established in your soul.” Everything the elder said was fulfilled exactly. Plato had to endure many temptations from those who wanted to involve him in their company, but he, remembering the elder’s advice, remained firm. Plato was noticed in the Lavra, and many of the older brethren who led a spiritual life fell in love with him. The senior head of the printing house, Hieromonk Veniamin, took a special liking to him. Arriving at the Lavra in winter, Plato had no other clothes than the lightest summer clothes. He wore it to church and shivered there from the cold. Plato did not dare ask for warmer clothes. Noticing this, Father Benjamin provided him with the necessary clothing and made sure that he did not need anything else. In the summer, Plato’s daughter-in-law, the wife of his late priest brother, came to Kyiv for a pilgrimage, along with her brother and uncle. Having met Plato, they went to his cell and told him the following story about his mother. “Your mother,” they said, “after you left for Kyiv, remembering you, she cried a lot, but still thought that you would not leave her. When the news reached her that you had disappeared from Kyiv to God knows where, she was overcome by unbearable grief. Unable to calm down, she went to Kyiv to look for you. In the harsh winter, she went to monasteries and monasteries, but all her searches were in vain. She returned home tired, exhausted, barely alive. At home she cried and sobbed all the time, and no one could calm her down. Finally, unbearable sadness took possession of her soul to such an extent that she decided not to eat or drink until she died. After a few days, she became so weak that her thoughts began to become confused, and she, completely exhausted, lay in bed, expecting an imminent death. All her relatives gathered around her and looked at her with deep pity. Suddenly the sick woman, as if seeing something terrible in front of her, was horrified and began to ask those around her to quickly give her a prayer book. When they handed her the book, she began to loudly read an akathist to the Most Holy Theotokos. Having read the akathist once, she immediately began to read it again and repeated it many times. They wanted to take the book from her hands, but she did not give it to her. So the day and night passed. Suddenly the sick woman raised her eyes upward and stared motionlessly at one point for about half an hour, and then shouted loudly: “If this is the will of God, then I will never grieve for my son again.” Hearing these words, her relatives began to ask her to tell what she saw, but she, without answering them, asked to call her confessor. Left alone with him, she told him everything that had happened to her. After this, her mind completely returned to her. Then the family again began to ask her what she saw, but she was silent. Guessing that she could not speak due to extreme weakness, they began to pour water into her mouth with a spoon, and then gave her thin food, like a small child, until she was finally able to eat herself. After that, they lifted her up and put her on the bed, and then she told the following. “When I was completely weak from hunger and was already expecting imminent death, I suddenly saw many demons, very scary and gloomy, ready to attack me. I was horrified and began to ask you to give me a prayer book. By reading the akathist to the Mother of God and placing all my hope on Her alone, I thereby protected myself from the attack of demons. Hearing the holy words, they trembled with fear and, standing at a distance, did not dare to approach me. When day and night passed in this way, I was suddenly overcome by an inexplicable state of ecstasy: looking up, I saw the open sky and an angel of God who, like bright lightning, descended to me. Standing next to me, he said: “Mad woman, what are you doing? Instead of loving Christ your Lord with all your heart more than any creature, you chose your son over him and for the sake of this reckless love you decided to starve yourself to death and for this fall under God's eternal condemnation. If your son, having left you, began to engage in robbery or something unkind, then even in this case you should not grieve immensely, because everyone gives an answer to God for himself. But your son, by the will of God, chose not something bad, but a monastic life. How could you grieve so desperately and destroy your soul! Know for sure that your son, by the grace of God, will certainly become a monk. And you should stop grieving for him, but imitating him, renounce the world yourself. This is the will of God. If you resist this will of God, I will hand you over to the demons surrounding your bed, so that other parents will learn not to love their children more than God.” Hearing these words of the angel, I shouted loudly: “If this is the will of God, then I will never grieve for my son again.” As soon as I uttered these words, the demons disappeared. The angel of the Lord, rejoicing, ascended into heaven.” Listening to this story of your mother, your relatives were horrified and glorified God, who in such a miraculous way delivered her from terrible sorrow and from unauthorized death. Soon after this, the patient completely recovered, and although she often cries for you, remembering her vow to God, she refrains from immeasurable grief and prepares to enter the Intercession Monastery, where her mother is still alive, and your grandmother, the head of the monastery.” Subsequently, Peter learned that his mother had indeed taken monastic vows and lived in the same cell with her nun sister. Having lived in the monastery for about ten years, she peacefully departed to the Lord. At the time when Plato lived in the Kiev-Pechersk Lavra, there were many wonderful ascetics there. Such was, for example, the above-mentioned Hieroschemamonk John, the chief confessor of the Lavra, who labored as a hermit for several years. Another remarkable ascetic was Hieroschemamonk Pavel. One day Plato came to him and asked what meekness consists of? The elder looked menacingly at Plato and waved his hand, as if wanting to hit him in the face. Plato recoiled. Then Paul meekly and lovingly said: “God is with you, my son, do not be afraid. You asked me what meekness consists of? If I explained this to you in words, you would soon forget my explanation. Know that meekness consists in the fact that, even if someone hits you on the cheek, you not only do not become angry with him, but, according to the commandment of Christ, turn the other cheek to him.” One schemamonk in the distant caves was also a remarkable ascetic. For more than forty years, he led fans through caves, wearing a shirt made of thick iron wire with points facing inward over his naked body, which made him unable to sleep while lying on the bed, but slept while sitting. The senior blacksmith's assistant also attracted attention, wearing forty pounds of iron. Plato lived in the Lavra for more than a year, and he did not even have the slightest thought of leaving this place. The next unexpected circumstance struck him all the more. One day the assistant of the senior blacksmith mentioned above saw him and, calling him to his cell, said: “I am very sorry for you, that you will not stay with us for long in this holy Lavra, but will go to another place where the Lord will direct you.” Amazed by these words, Plato said: “Believe me, honest father, I have no intention of leaving the Lavra. I intend, if God helps me, to remain here until my last breath.” But the elder said again: “Know for sure, brother, that my word will come true very soon, and then you will see that I spoke the truth.” A few days after this conversation, one of his closest school friends, Alexey Filevich, comes to Plato. After greeting each other and talking about something, Alexey suddenly said: “Do you remember the promise we made to each other when we were still in school - not to take monastic vows and not live in rich monasteries, but having left the world, indulge in wandering and live in the desert in holy obedience to some elder, not leaving each other until our last breath and obtaining food and clothing for ourselves through the labor of our hands. Now I see that you have broken our oath and, instead of living in silence in the desert, you have returned to your fatherland and are living in this rich monastery.” Plato replied: “Yes, we really have made the vow that you are talking about in our souls. But unfortunately, none of my friends followed me when I left the world. Our friend Dimitri, not listening to my advice, stayed with his mother. But I, wandering alone, did not find such a reverent old man who would agree to accept me into holy obedience, although I asked many people about this. And I had no choice but to return to my homeland and settle in this holy monastery.” Then Filevich said: “So, have you finally given up the idea of ​​settling somewhere in the desert with a like-minded friend under the guidance of an experienced old man?” Plato replied: “Yes, now I don’t even have the slightest thought about it, since here I have found perfect peace for my soul and intend to remain in this holy monastery until my last breath.” Filevich: “And if I invited you to go on a journey with me and live together in the desert, what would you say to this?” Plato: “Oh, my beloved friend, if you would decide to do this, I am now gladly ready to go with you.” Then Filevich, rising from his place, solemnly said: “If such is your love for me that you are ready to leave even this holy place for my sake, then I, before God and before you, swear on my conscience that, with the assistance of God’s grace, I am ready not to be separated from you until my death.” Deeply moved by their decision, both friends tearfully prayed to God, asking for His help and blessing for a new life. After this, remaining alone in his cell, Plato never ceased to be horrified and surprised by the sudden change in his thoughts and such a quick fulfillment of the blacksmith’s prediction. And when he had to meet him after that, he was attacked by such shame that he did not even dare to look him in the eye, realizing that he had told him the truth, and he turned out to be a liar. Chapter 4. Flight from the Kiev Pechersk Lavra abroad. Unexpected encounters and obstacles along the way. Plato in the Matroninsky monastery. Meeting with Hieroschemamonk Michael. Plato goes to Moldovlachia Alexey Filevich turned for help to two of his comrades, students of the fraternal school. These students were from abroad, and it was not difficult for them to obtain a pass from the Polish authorities to travel to their homeland. The disciples found some wanderer abroad, a monk, who undertook to arrange the escape of his friends from Kyiv. The monk himself did not undertake to take his friends across the border, but promised to find another reliable person who would bring them to the border, where the monk himself would meet them. The person he has found will appear in Kyiv to Filevich and then wait for the fugitives at the Kirillov Monastery. From there he will take them to the appointed place, show them the further path, and he himself will cross the border in another place and come out to meet them together with the wanderer monk. According to the agreed upon whistle, they were supposed to connect. Everything worked out according to this plan. Near the Kirillov Monastery, they got into the guide’s sleigh and set off. After a while they reached a place where the road divided. Here the guide left them, explaining to them in detail the further path. The friends, walking along the road indicated to them, earnestly prayed to God to save them from all harm. Finally they approached the estate of the fraternal monastery, known to Filevich. Turning to the left, they walked through the forest for quite a long time to pass the monastery estate, but when they turned onto the road again, they saw that the monastery estate was still going on. At this time, they saw two people in front of them, apparently from the monastery servants, who asked them who they were, where they came from and where they were going. The frightened fugitives confessed everything. The ministers praised their good intentions and advised them to continue on the same road without turning anywhere. It was deep night. Suddenly they heard the agreed upon whistle ahead. Filevich ran forward, but soon returned back and shouted in despair: “We’re in trouble! My cousin, who lives abroad, is accompanying the monk and the guide. He will undoubtedly detain me and let my mother know, who will immediately come here and put an end to my wanderings.” Seeing Alexei crying, his brother began to calm him down, praised his zeal for the salvation of his soul and assured him that he would not inform his mother about his meeting with him and would allow him to move on. Alexey calmed down and stopped crying. Plato and Alexey went ahead, and the other three walked behind them. When they were already approaching the border, suddenly the above-mentioned monastery servants appeared behind them, apparently having the intention of attacking the fugitives and robbing them. Not daring to attack them, they began to shout loudly with the obvious intention of attracting the border guards: “Who are you and where are you from? You are probably villains going abroad.” Hearing these screams, Alexei’s brother, with a stick in his hand, rushed at the servants, and they ran back in fear, loudly shouting: “Guard!” The fugitives hurried forward and soon reached the river separating the Russian land from the Polish. Having crossed the river, they took refuge in the house of brother Alexei, located right next to the river on the Polish side. Alexei's brother that same night sent a messenger to Kyiv to tell Alexei's mother to come immediately to take her son. He kept his friends with him, treated them and assured them that in two or three days he would let them go. The monk, having learned that their owner was Alexei’s cousin, got scared and disappeared to God knows where. While Plato and Alexei were living with the latter’s cousin, those two students of the Kyiv school who helped them arrange their escape also came to them. Alexei's mother arrived soon. Seeing Plato and considering him the main culprit in the escape of her son, she showered him with reproaches and abuse and even wanted to beat him. With great difficulty we managed to calm her down, placing all the blame on the monk who helped them cross the border. Finally she calmed down. Plato and the Kyiv schoolchildren set off on their journey, constantly looking back at their abandoned comrade. When they had already moved a long distance, Alexey, unable to bear it, ran after them. Having caught up with them, he fell to the ground, sobbing loudly, beating his chest and begging them not to leave him. At this time, Alexei’s brother and other people on horseback appeared in the distance, hurrying towards the fugitive. They took him and, despite his tears and sobs, forcibly took him to his mother. Plato and his comrades soon reached the Matroninsky monastery, where they were cordially received by the abbot. This was at the very beginning of Great Lent in 1742. While living in the monastery, Plato soon learned that the elder of high spiritual life, Hieroschemamonk Michael, was temporarily living in the same monastery. Hieroschemamonk Michael especially fell in love with Plato and gave him spiritual books to read. Having learned that the elder lived permanently in Moldovala, Plato told him that he himself had long had a strong desire to go there, but had not yet had an opportunity and would be very glad if the elder took him with him. The elder advised him to go there quickly, without waiting for the elder, and to settle in the Treistena monastery, which is located near the city of Focshan. The abbot of this monastery is the elder’s disciple, and the elder himself will come there later, as soon as circumstances allow him. Plato happily accepted the elder’s advice and began to look for travel companions. These turned out to be three monks of the Matroninsky monastery: Anthony, Hierotheus and Theodul. After the Holy Resurrection of Christ, the elder allowed them to go, but before leaving he ordered them to come to him all together in his deserted cell for a final conversation and prayer. Seeing the elder’s love, Plato began to ask him for his friend Alexei Filevich, so that the elder, if Alexei came to the Matroninsky Hermitage, would take him under his care and bring him with him to Moldovlachia. Covered by the grace of God, they safely passed through Ukraine and, “having crossed the Dniester by boat, entered the borders of the Moldavian land Chapter 5. Moldavian monasticism in the 18th century. Life of Plato in Treisten. Failure in chef obedience. Meeting with Elder Vasily. Arrival of Hieroschemamonk Michael with Plato's friend Alexei. The story of Alexei's departure from his mother. Conversations about. Mikhail and his brothers. Plato's obedience in the vineyard. Plato wakes up Matins. Arrival of Schemamonk Onuphrius at the Treysten. Plato leaves Treysten and goes with Onufriy to the Kyrnul monastery. Life in Kyrnul and the decision to go to Mount Athos Plato entered the Moldovan land with a feeling of deep joy and sincere love for it. At this time, Moldovala was one of the flourishing corners of the Orthodox world. In the Greek East, Orthodoxy, constrained by the Turks, could not enjoy complete freedom. In Russia, monastic life experienced oppression from the government. Moldovala, ruled by pious rulers, was in all respects a convenient country for the quiet existence and prosperity of Orthodox monasteries. Monasteries have existed here for a long time. The chronicles constantly mention the construction of monasteries by hospodars, boyars and other wealthy people. At the same time, donors demanded religious, moral and educational activities from the monasteries. Thus, one of the rulers, having completed the construction of the monastery, under “fear of anathema, decreed that in all years part of the monastery income should go to the poor, sick and slaves, as well as to dowries for poor girls. The monasteries contained the most valuable libraries, which contained many manuscripts, including Slavic ones. To replenish these libraries, there was a curious custom: confessors assigned penitents, if they were capable of doing so, to copy out a book with their own hands for the monastery library as a form of penance. Among the monks there were many educated people, and in monastic documents the names of monks with the epithets “teacher” or “rhetor” are often found. At the monasteries there were not only primary schools, but also higher schools, where poetry, mathematics, theology, Greek, Slavic and Moldavian languages ​​were taught. Moldavian monasteries maintained a living connection with the Orthodox East and Russia. Having crossed the border of Moldavia, our wanderers came to the monastery of St. Cyprian, called Condriza, where they were warmly received by the head of the monastery. Theodulus and Hierotheus remained here, and Plato and Anthony went further. They reached the monastery of the Holy Archangels, named Dolgoutsy, which was under the spiritual guidance of the elder schemamonk Vasily. Plato really liked this monastery. There were many wonderful ascetics here. Such was, for example, Father Raphael, who was engaged in rewriting his father’s books. He was a reverent man and filled with the fear of God. Another ascetic, the monk Dosifei, who lived far from the monastery with schemamonk Timothy, was experienced in spiritual reasoning and in the interpretation of the books of the fathers. After living in this monastery for some time, Plato and Anthony continued on their way. Finally they reached the monastery of St. Nicholas, called Treysteny, and here they were received with love by the abbot, Hieromonk Dometny. Here Plato for the first time heard the prayer rule according to the rite of the holy Mount Athos, performed with great reverence and fear of God. In the skete there were up to twelve brothers who lived in a dormitory, and about fifteen brothers who lived as hermits near the skete and earned their food and clothing by the labor of their hands. Here Plato also met many remarkable ascetics. Such was, for example, Schemamonk Proterius, a Little Russian from the Poltava regiment from the town of Reshetilovka. He loved to host and treat traveling monks. He loved birds very much and taught them to fly to his cell at certain times. When Proterius went to church, the birds accompanied him all the way to the church, sitting on his head and shoulders or flying around him singing cheerfully. When he entered the church doors, birds flew to the roof of the church and waited for him to come out. And as soon as he appeared, they surrounded him again and escorted him back to his cell. Plato also saw here another remarkable hermit, a Great Russian by birth, who had the custom from time to time to offer all the brothers a meal from his labors and go around washing their feet. At the time when Plato and Anthony came to Treisteni, the brethren were busy building cells, and the head of the monastery himself worked together with others. Plato, as a weakling, was not taken into the forest to work and was assigned obedience in the refectory. Plato noticed that each brother in turn was entrusted with preparing dinner and baking bread, and was very afraid that this turn would reach him. One day, when all the brethren had to go to the forest to work for several days, the boss called Plato to him and ordered him to prepare food for the brethren during these days. Plato was horrified and told the boss that he had never cooked and did not know how to cook dinner. Then the boss assigned one brother to him, who was supposed to tell him what needed to be done. Plato, out of inexperience and excitement, mixed up all his brother’s instructions. When the food began to boil, he wanted to move it away from the fire, but out of clumsiness he knocked over the pot, burned his hands and spilled everything that was in the pot on the floor. With sighs and tears, he again prepared the vegetables, put the pot on the fire and began to cook the food again. Meanwhile, the brethren came from the forest and seeing that dinner was not ready, they were very upset and finished cooking the dinner themselves. This was repeated more than once. When the boss noticed that Plato had learned a little about the art of cooking, he decided to teach him how to bake bread. One day, when the brethren went into the forest to chop wood, the boss called one knowledgeable brother to him and ordered him to tell Plato how to bake bread. The brother, having explained everything in detail to Plato, poured water into the cauldron, showed him a trough with sifted flour and a pot of yeast and said: “When the water is warm, pour it into the flour, pour the yeast there as well and knead it all together.” When I began to knead, I noticed that there was little water, but a lot of flour. Not realizing that it was necessary to add more water, Plato tried to knead all the flour, and the dough turned out so hard that even a finger could not be stuck into it, and yet the flour still remained in the trough. Then Plato began to cut the dough into pieces with a knife, sprinkle them with flour and beat them with a rolling pin, and he finally achieved that there was no more flour left in the trough. Then Plato again put all the dough in the trough and with great difficulty put the trough on the stove so that the dough would rise as quickly as possible. It was already noon. One brother came from the forest to find out if the bread was ready. Plato answered him with a sigh that the dough still did not rise. Plato told him how he prepared the dough, his brother smiled and said. “Oh, you stupid! When you saw that there was not enough water, you should have added more water or added flour, and then kneaded it. Well, did you put in the yeast?” Hearing this question, Plato flushed with shame and grief; he completely forgot about yeast. The brother said: “Don’t worry, we will fix it!” Then he heated the water, poured it into the dough and, adding the yeast, began to stir. Having explained to Plato what to do next, the brother went into the forest. After a while, Plato decided that the dough had already risen enough. Then, taking the heat from the oven, which was so hot that it was emitting sparks, he put the loaves in the oven, confident that now everything would go well, but the loaves immediately turned black and burned on top and bottom. Having taken the burnt bread out of the oven, Plato began to fearfully await the return of the brethren. When the brethren finally arrived, Plato fell at their feet with shame and asked for forgiveness with tears. The boss and the brothers did not reproach him and, taking one piece of bread, cut it, but it turned out to be worthless. Then they cooked hominy and had lunch with it. Plato was no longer forced to bake bread. Having told about these failures in his notes, Paisius adds: “I told all this about myself with the purpose that those who come to our hostel would not be discouraged, seeing their inexperience in any matter, and would remember that with God’s help and with diligence they can achieve success in any matter.” Soon after this, the monk Dosifei came to Treisteny from the rkita Dolgoutsi. Seeing Plato, he called him to him and said: “I want to warn you that our common spiritual mentor, Schemamonk Vasily, had a student named Paisius, who died three years ago. This disciple grew up with the elder from childhood, and the elder loved him very much and, needing a priest, convinced him against his will to accept the priesthood before the established age. When the disciple died, the elder grieved and cried for him a lot, partly because he had lost his beloved disciple, and partly because he had lost his priest. Soon Elder Vasily will come here to visit the brethren. When he sees you, he will probably want to take you in with him. He will persuade you to go live with him, and then he will force you to accept the priesthood. And if you listen to him and become a priest before the established age, then you will not find peace of conscience for the rest of your life. Therefore, I advise you: if you hope to remain faithful to the rules of the Church, then you can go to live with our holy elder, and if you don’t hope, then you should live somewhere else until the term established for the priesthood, and then go to live with the elder.” Thanking Elder Dosifei for his instruction, Plato confessed to him that, realizing his unworthiness, he did not want to accept the priesthood until his death. Soon after this, Schemamonk Vasily actually came to the monastery. He drew attention to Plato and instructed the boss to persuade Plato to come to live with him in the Polyano-Merulsky monastery. Plato, remembering the words of Dositheus, refused the elder’s offer. Having understood the reason for the refusal, Elder Vasily ordered that Plato be told that he would not force him to prematurely accept the priesthood. To this Plato replied that he decided in his soul and after reaching the established years until his death not to take on such a terrible and responsible service. Hearing this, the elder stopped insisting on his proposal. This circumstance was the reason that Plato, as he himself writes about it, did not have to live with Elder Basil in his monastery, although he really wanted to. But then the joyful news spread that Hieroschemamonk Mikhail and his disciples were approaching the monastery and that Plato’s friend, Alexei Filevich, was also going with him. After the meal, Plato called his friend aside and asked him to tell in detail how he managed to get out of his fatherland. Alexey told Plato the following: “After we parted with you and my mother took me home, I was attacked by such melancholy that I even fell ill. I did not cease with tears to pray to God to take me out of the world, as He himself knows. And so, by God’s dispensation, one of my friends, Alexey Elis, came to me, having learned about my illness. In a conversation, he told me that he himself wanted to become a monk. On his advice, I began to hide my sadness from my mother, and she fell in love with my friend very much, thinking that under his influence I began to forget about monasticism. When spring came, my friend found a wandering monk and, revealing our intentions to him, asked him to help us. The monk advised us to buy a boat and promised to take us by boat to the Matroninsky Monastery. We bought a boat, stocked up on various things for the journey and, after praying in the Church of St. Nicholas, set off. Everything was fine, and we had already sailed through Tripoli when we saw guards on the shore who called out to us. We were scared, thinking that they would detain us. When we swam to the shore, the monk, peering at the guards, told us quietly: “Don’t be afraid, these are acquaintances.” The guards recognized our monk and, having greeted him, asked: “Where are you going?” He answered them: “I am going to a village belonging to the Kirillov Monastery, and was sent there by the abbot to rule.” Then the guard asked the monk: “Who is this with you in the boat?” “And these are my clerks, whom Father Abbot gave me.” With these words, he treated the guards to vodka, which he had captured for such an occasion, and even poured some into their dishes. He then offered them bread and other provisions and gave them some money. The guards were very pleased and released us in peace. We thanked God with tears for delivering us from this danger. A few days later we reached the place where our voyage was supposed to end. We sold the boat to local residents, and we ourselves went by land to the Matroninsky Monastery, which was already nearby. Elder Michael, seeing us, rejoiced and took upon himself the care of all our spiritual and physical needs. With God’s help, we then safely passed through Ukraine and came to this blessed country, to this holy monastery of St. Nicholas the Wonderworker, where with indescribable joy I see you, my beloved friend, and with tears I thank God, who brought me to live with you in this holy monastery.” Living with his friend in a monastery, Plato noticed with surprise that he, having always been very frail and weak, now began to quickly gain strength, so that he could easily perform the most difficult work: for example, he carried logs from the forest of such weight that Plato was horrified. From the day of his friend’s arrival, Plato constantly waited to see if he would talk about the decision they had made, sealed by an oath, to settle together and support each other in their monastic feats. Meanwhile, he did not remind Plato in a single word of the promise they had made to each other. This silence greatly upset and surprised Plato, but he himself did not dare to remind Alexei of their oath. When the fast of the Dormition of the Most Holy Theotokos began, Elder Michael tonsured Alexei Filevich and his two friends into the ryasophore. Plato rejoiced to see his friend take his first tonsure. Soon after this, the head of the monastery assigned Plato a new obedience - to guard the monastery's vineyard. At the same time, he gave him the following rule: he can eat grapes as much as he wants, but only after eating at least a piece of bread first. Plato ate grapes for whole days and became so addicted to them that he no longer wanted to eat anything else and ate nothing at meals, so that he even became weak and haggard in face, as if after some illness. And only after the grape harvest, Plato again began to eat with everyone at meals and became as healthy as before. Even before the grape harvest, the chief placed Plato in a new cell. While living in this cell, Plato once fell asleep so soundly that he did not hear the bell for matins, and the day was Sunday. When he woke up and came to church, it turned out that they had already read the Gospel and began to sing the canon. Out of shame, Plato did not dare to enter the church and, weeping bitterly, returned back to his cell. He did not go to the liturgy and, moving away from his cell, sat on the ground and cried. When the liturgy ended and it was time for the meal, the elder and the leader and the brethren, noticing the absence of Plato in the church, which had never happened before, were surprised at this. Finally, the elder said: “Fathers and brothers, I ask you for the sake of the Lord, let us endure the meal for a little while until we find out what happened to our brother Plato.” And he immediately sent one of the monks, Athanasius, a scribe of the fatherly books, to Plato. Athanasius had difficulty finding the crying Plato. After much exhortation, he was barely able to explain to Athanasius the reason for his grief. Athanasius began to console him, persuading him to calm down and go with him to the Skete to the brethren, who did not want to start the meal without Plato. Plato answered through tears: “How can I go to the holy fathers and with what face will I appear to them after such a great sin for my eternal shame before God and before people!” Afanasy continued to convince him and finally persuaded him to go. Plato walked, shedding tears. When he came to the monastery and saw the elder and the brethren sitting at a meal and waiting for his arrival, he fell to the ground with shame and trembling and sobbed inconsolably. Then they ordered Plato to sit down with them, but Plato, out of great shame and grief, could not eat anything. And only at the end of the meal he ate some bread. When Plato went home after the meal, Elder Michael, addressing the brethren, especially the young ones, said: “You see what jealousy and what burning sorrow this young brother showed! May he be an example to you all of diligently attending church rules. He involuntarily had to skip prayer, and how sad he was! How bitterly he grieved and cried! He even deprived himself of bread and did not want to see the light of the sun because of his great illness and contrition of heart! You too pray with all your heart, that the Lord will give you all the same zeal and fiery sadness for God!” From then on, until the end of his stay in the monastery, Plato never lay down on the bed to sleep, but, sitting on a bench, fell asleep. In October, Schemamonk Onuphry came to Traisteny from the monastery of the Holy Archangel of God Michael, called Karnul, located in the mountains, up the Buzeu River. He talked a lot about his life in the mountains, about the beauty of his place, about its healthy air and its healthy water, and with his stories he awakened in Plato the desire to live with the elder Onuphrius in his desert. Together with Plato, several other young monks decided to go to Kärnul. Elder Michael blessed them to go and gave them a leader for the whole winter, his longtime student Hieromonk Alexei. The monks set off. They walked through “great” forests, high mountains and deep valleys, and on the third day they reached the monastery of Kärnul, where they were received with love. The next morning, the head of the monastery gave them each a special cell. The rules of the monastery were similar to the rules of the monasteries of Mount Athos: on Sundays and holidays the brethren gathered together for church services. At the end of the liturgy, they had a meal together and spent time in spiritual conversation until Vespers, and after Vespers they went to their own cells, where everyone performed their rule in solitude. While living in this monastery, Plato and his comrades came at the appointed time to Hieromonk Alexy, and he sometimes read to them something from the fatherly books, explaining the meaning of what he read, and sometimes he simply talked with them about various spiritual subjects. He was a meek, humble, brotherly-loving man, who had the gift of comforting the most grieving heart with his words. Sometimes he went with his disciples to the hermit Onuphrius, who lived on a mountain, far from the monastery, in a secluded cell. The path to him went through a beautiful forest, and his cell stood on the edge of a mountain, from where a wonderful view of the surrounding valleys, mountains and gorges, covered with impenetrable forest, opened up. Below his cell flowed a source of clean water, where he went down the steps to draw water. Elder Onuphry talked a lot with Father Alexy about mental and physical passions and about the terrible and restless mental battle with demons, about their unimaginable intrigues and tricks. “And if,” he said, “the Lover of Mankind had not protected his people, none of the saints would have truly been saved. But whoever comes to Christ with faith and love, with humility and tears, is given indescribable consolations, peace and joy, and ardent love for God. Witnesses of this are unfeigned tears from great love, self-reproach, humility and constant gratitude to Christ, so that out of love for God a person becomes insensitive to the blessings of this world.” Listening to him, Plato became more and more inflamed with love for desert life. He began to understand the monastic path more and more deeply, and became more and more serious and stricter with himself. Under the influence of the feeling that gripped him, he went to secluded places, fell to the ground, beat himself on the chest and with tears asked for help from Christ, bringing him his vows. In his cell, he indulged in fervent prayer and reading the books of his fathers, daily testing his conscience, grieving over his sins and weaknesses, and daily laying the foundation for his correction before God. Summer was already approaching, when suddenly an order came from Elder Michael to Hieromonk Alexei to return to him. Together with Father Alexy, some of Plato’s friends also went to Treysten. Soon after this, Elder Onuphrius' brother Bartholomew became the head of the monastery. Bartholomew treated the brethren very carefully and arranged a large new cell for their reception, where the brethren often gathered for spiritual conversation, and sometimes for a common meal. In the spring, Plato built himself a small garden, planted some beans, beans and onions. But the onions almost didn’t grow, the beans grew well, but mice ate them, and Plato collected one box of beans. Plato acquired the necessary tools for making spoons and began to become proficient in this handicraft, but he did little of it, not having a person who would encourage him to do so. Having spent the winter in the monastery and waited until summer, Plato, with the blessing of his superior, set off on a new journey. Unfortunately, at this point the handwritten notes of Elder Paisius are cut off. Judging by some places in the elder’s letters, it is clear that at that time he visited the monastery of the Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary in Moldova, as well as the Nyametsky monastery. By 1746, he had already formed a firm decision to move to Athos. What prompted him to decide to take this step? He himself explains his decision by saying that he feared that the Moldavian elders would ordain him against his will to the rank of priest, who terrified him with its height and responsibility. But one cannot help but see in this the action of God’s providence. The Lord was pleased to subject the future great elder to the ordeal of a disastrous solitary life on Athos, and so that he would lay the foundation there for his communal brotherhood. In Moldova, the influence of Athos was strongly felt; here Plato first heard the Divine service performed according to the Athos rite, met wandering monks who visited the Holy Mountain and talked a lot about it. All this with particular force attracted his soul to Athos. Mount Athos, with its centuries-old legends, with its harsh and majestic nature, high ascetic examples and repositories of patristic writing, was an attractive place for him for a new period of his life. Taking into account everything that has been said, the life writer of the elder says regarding his relocation to Athos: “Who can understand the ways of the Lord? And who knows His counsels? By His Divine Providence He took him from his fatherland, led him through many countries, so that there he would gather for himself a lot of spiritual wealth by spiritual purchase, and finally brought him to Holy Mount Athos, so that here, continuing the purchase, he would further increase his spiritual wealth, and then would give it to all those who sought spiritual guidance from him. The Lord made him an imitator of the Monk Anthony, like him, a Little Russian. And just as the Monk Anthony, while wandering, came to the holy Mount Athos, where he took on the holy angelic image, and lived there for many years, and was honored with great spiritual gifts, and was then returned to his fatherland in order to plant and increase monastic life here, so blessed Paisios, enriched with heavenly wealth, returned to where he came from in Moldavia, so that he would renew the dilapidated the monastic order, may it restore the fallen common life and instill in it the blessed obedience, illuminating with its teaching those sitting in the darkness of ignorance, and enlightening them with corrections and a new translation from Greek into their own of the patristic and theological books.” Let us now turn to consider this most important period in the life of Elder Paisius. You might be interested in: