Февраль

Early liturgy. He served firmly and loudly and with inner strength; he spoke the names of royal persons very firmly, with God’s help; He served the entire liturgy and prayer service with the blessing of water firmly and reverently. Thanks be to the Lord. The christening in Strebulaeva’s house at the handyman’s was performed firmly before the Gospel; on the Gospel the enemy stumbled with doubt, confusion, speechlessness; не мог выговорить слов Единии же надесяте ученицы [рус.: Одиннадцать же учеников ] [ Мф. 28, 16 ]; but I couldn’t because the enemy stopped me due to my weakness of heart. Кумой была землячка архангельская, весьма благочестивая и любезная женщина Наталия Зиновьевна. The only thing that’s wrong is that the tail of the dress is long: I started laughing about it and my heart was embarrassed. Пред Таинством молился внутренно Богу, да отымет от сердца моего прелесть женской красоты; and the Lord heard, and gave me tenderness, and contrition, and firmness; and in the end, with a single view, the enemy confused. Oh, what networks! Oh, weak heart, unreasonable, voluptuous, earthly! My God! Даждь мне души любити, а плоть презирать и, служа Тебе, ни на чье лицо не взирать. The Church in her prayers suffers from our weaknesses, cries with our tears, rejoices in our joy, takes a lively part in our temptations, instilling in us good hope, for all the saints were greatly tempted and, with the help of God’s grace, overcame temptations, although they fell many times. The day is fierce, after sleep and before the wedding at five o'clock, on the occasion of the wife not giving ready-made tea. I am guilty of an addiction to drinking and of evil waywardness: instead of love, I showed enmity towards my wife, got angry with her, lost my temper, cowardly screamed, as if it was a matter of taking life; The marriage was delayed and those gathered for the funeral service were frozen for about three hours. There is no need to sleep when there is a lot to do. (You shouldn’t eat barley milk porridge and potato sauce: it’s bad for your nerves and your state of mind.) Carnal love undermines respect for the moral dignity of a person and destroys the sacred connection of hearts, the holy affinity of soul with soul, destroys everything that brightens and delights a person’s life in his relationships with others like himself. Even if you fall, rise up and be saved. No matter how many times you stumble while reading prayers, get better and you will be saved. I thank You, Lord, for in the power of Your fortress I was able to overcome the invisible enemy at the betrothal of Vladimir and the virgin Mary and with great boldness performed prayer and blessing on February 3, 1870. I thank You, Lord, for You have granted me victory over the evil thoughts that worried and confused me during the communion of the maiden Nadezhda in the house of Mikhail Dmitrievich Semenov. Grant me, Lord, to boldly and sincerely look everyone in the eye when performing sacred rites and always triumph over the nasty, seditious thoughts inhaled from the enemy - nasty, crafty, blasphemous. May I be, when performing the Sacraments, prayers and rituals, like a lion, trusting... not wavering from anyone who opposes [Russian: bold like a lion... do not be afraid of opponents in anything] [Prov. 28, 1; Phil. 1, 28]. Let go, Lord, of those who blaspheme and persecute me; for they do not know what they are doing, for sin has blinded their eyes and, like a rope, drives them to do evil, as it sometimes did to me. But enlighten and correct them, Lord! In two respects, theater is not useful: firstly, in that it saves some from greater evil, giving food, albeit coarse and worldly, to souls - because theater is still a lesser evil in comparison with some sins; and secondly, in the fact that it can serve as a good comparison for real life: for all of us, brothers, live in the world and act in it as if on a great theater, and each of us alternates here as a spectator, then as an actor or actress; and just as a theater or an action in a theater does not always continue, but soon ends, and when the drama is over, it ends, and the curtain is drawn, and the actors leave the stage, and the spectators all hastily go to their homes - so our life here will not continue forever, but after we have completed virtues or vices, after reaching maturity in good or evil, at the end of each of us’s own drama must end: the eternal curtain will close on our eyebrows, and we will all leave the stage of this world: the coffin will enclose our bodies, and our souls will go to judgment to the Head of our life. Here we have to be more often spectators of the play of actors and actresses and judge and judge their performance, and there, in heaven, there are constant spectators of our earthly affairs - God, Angels and saints, true and incorruptible spectators of all our affairs; here we sometimes shower wreaths and give various gifts to good players - actors and actresses, although we turn our faces away from poverty - there the Lord, the Eternal King, the Father of the next century, will reward the worthy among us with crowns of immortality and blessings that no eye has seen [1 Cor. 2, 9]... It is in this respect that the theater is useful, but in no other respect, because its subject is worldly vanity, and the most fair name for it is the play of worldly vanity, and the theater gives nothing to the Christian, accustoming him only to idleness and absent-mindedness and completely depriving him of the disposition for the church of God and for worship, so that one who is accustomed to being in the theater always stands bored and irreverently, absent-mindedly in the church and dares to compare the church with the theater, clergy with actors, icons, royal doors and other decorations, which humiliates the church of the Living God, the true house of God, and the divine faces of the saints, and the divinely appointed shepherds of the Church, and their very work, which is not higher on earth. Therefore, we see that theater and club lovers are never in the church, because their place is the theater and because it is impossible to serve two masters: the spirit of the temple and the spirit of the theater diverge from each other and do not unite, like the poles of the world; in one the spirit of heaven blows, in the other - the spirit of this world; the temple lifts the spirit of man to the mountain, the theater bends it down to the ground; worship in the temple feeds the aspirations of a future life, playing in the theater directly or indirectly destroys this aspiration, presenting earthly life in rainbow colors, ridiculing piety and saving beliefs and aspirations; in the temple the name of God is constantly glorified, in the theater - never, and if it is used, it is only in jest, deceitfully, blasphemously, which is very sinful; in the temple - tenderness and repentance, in the theater - laughter and laughter; many want to see the theater as a replacement for the temple, because they find the theater very moralizing; of course, a theater can replace a temple, only not a Christian or Orthodox one, but a pagan one, but even that will be more worthy than a theater, because it is a temple, and in it the name of God above the gods is invoked, although unknown to idolaters; but the theater cannot replace even a Tatar or Jewish temple, because in them the name of the one God is invoked. Do not be offended, theater lover, with the bold and frank truth: you unjustly insult the church of the Living God with your neglect, having incorrect and false concepts about it: let us also insult you in justice, but insult you in repentance, according to God, so that you recognize the vanity of the theater, which serves you only in your earthly attachments and inclinations - only to the grave, and there - at the grave and beyond the grave - laughs at you and does not help you at all, and cannot, for his sphere is only earthly life. I thank the Lord for his immeasurable compassion, for he has enabled me to perform the Divine Liturgy without stumbling and to partake of the Divine Mysteries without condemnation and to pronounce the word of my creation with power. I thank the Lord for hearing my prayer of repentance and having mercy on me, when the enemy began to burn me with bitterness towards my relatives Grigory and Anna Tsvetkov for unfairly blaming me for deception. Sundays and holidays are gracious parting words for a person on the future path of life, reinforcement with spiritual food. Without them, a person would more and more, with increasing force, indulge in vanity and would completely lose sight of the purpose of life, would forget his Benefactor - God, would pervert his nature, his life, as indeed happens with many who do not attend divine services on Sundays and holidays, especially those who do not approach the Divine Mysteries. They become some kind of half-humans, because all the highest needs of the spirit are drowned out; they become completely vain, carnal, they never look at grief, but, like dumb animals, they turn all their aspirations to the earth: for example, every day they have one thing to eat and drink, smoking, one concern for profit or counting profits, one game that runs daily like a wheel, or like a wound clock; there is no prayer; reading the Gospel even more so. What is this? Греховная смерть, предначатие вечной смерти; it's horrible. All those who diligently and wisely attend divine services on every Sunday and holiday are saved from this sinful death: the service of God awakens their souls, cleanses them and does not allow them to fall asleep in sinful death and become more and more overgrown with thorns of passions and vices. Who among the pious does not notice that he returned after the liturgy on a Sunday or holiday with new spiritual strength, with a fresh soul? We freshen the air in our homes or go outside to freshen up, so that by moving in the fresh air (to provide an influx of fresh air) we illuminate and strengthen the whole body. А богослужение, а слово Божие – разве не свежий воздух для души? Isn’t our vain daily thoughts, desires, passions, words, actions rotten air?.. Have mercy, pity on the soul, refresh it weekly with divine services: it is a true blessing for the soul. Кто по опыту не знает этого из усердно посещающих храм? God! You came to seek and save the lost: I am this lost one - save me. You came to call sinners to repentance. I am this sinner who repents. Save me. It is not the healthy who need a physician, but the sick [Matt. 9, 12]. I am this sick person - heal me. By faith I pray to You for this, the Savior of the world, the Physician of our souls and bodies. What is played in the theater I can see or hear in the world; but what happens in the church, I cannot see in the world, because this is Heavenly service, Heavenly secrets. This is the importance of worship! This is the insignificance, the vanity of the theater! Through frequent and reasonable attendance at divine services, the hope of the resurrection of the dead and the life of the next century is supported, earthly life is sanctified and freed more or less from the vanity and addictions of everyday life, receiving the character of Christian life, life for heaven and eternity, or life for Christ; Through divine services, he takes an active part in the events remembered by the Church, relating to God’s saving providence for us, in the celebrations of the holy saints and in the celebrations of our country. The enemy does not allow you to pronounce the word: Reverend. Lord help me! arm yourself courageously against the demonic fear of the dreamy. Saint Meletius, Archbishop of Antioch, Demetrius of Vologda the Wonderworker, Saint Vsevolod of Pskov, Saint Queen Theodora. He served Mass with extreme spiritual exhaustion; after the great entrance, Shchedrotami did not utter the exclamation, but said only the last words, due to the violence of the enemy and from the thought of Pasynkova, from a single moment; received communion without boldness, with insufficiently strong faith; the enemy brought shame and despair, which, however, I resisted; extreme shame and cramped conditions. By the power of God he broke the enemy after using the Holy Gifts and received the grace of peace and freedom. After mass, Brovtsyn served a prayer service and drank tea. He celebrated two weddings cheerfully, boldly, with God’s help. He got engaged and spoke firmly with God's help. God bless! Truly, the grace of God helps me to give alms to the poor, teaching me not to spare corruptible coins and pieces of silver for the lesser brethren of Christ who have need of necessities; but when the poisonous temptation of the enemy touches me, when I am left only to myself, to my strengths, or, better, to weakness and shortcomings, then I turn my face away from the beggars with indignation, and it is a pity for me to part with my coppers and silver coins. Do not ask God for the self-interested rich, so that they become mercifully pliable: perhaps they are not worthy of God favoring them in the face of the poor, but try to be constancy, kindness, generosity and purity of your alms, so that you do not change the merciful disposition of your heart and do not offend God, the God of mercy and generosity and love of mankind, with your inconstancy in mercy, your stinginess, his contempt for the poor. (I did not sanctify the morning of the day of St. Alexis of Moscow with alms. I sinned against the Lord!) I thank the Lord, who gave me the grace to perform three marriages with contented boldness on February 4, Wednesday, in front of a large crowd of people, especially the last one; I thank you for the strength of your soul, for your faith, for your boldness, for your good hope, for overcoming the enemy’s dirty tricks. Know the depth of your corruption and your extreme weakness and heal yourself by faith, humility, abstinence, vigil, prayer, the Holy Mysteries, works of mercy, and do not look at the sins of others: everyone will bear his own burden. I thank the Lord, who has vouchsafed me, a sinner, to perform the Divine Liturgy without stumbling and to partake of the Divine Mysteries without condemnation. But woe was to me after drinking vodka, although in moderation, and drinking hot sweet tea and eating cheese from the school inspector: I was caught and attacked by the spirit of uncleanness in the class. О, люто мне было! Oh, these sweets! Какие наводят напасти! Oh, this vodka! This is the true Christian philosophy: do not be seduced or captivated by anything earthly - neither a beautiful face, nor pleasant foods and drinks, nor beautiful clothes, nor magnificent chambers and luxury of room decoration, nor money, nor shiny signs of distinction - but let all your attention be drawn to inner beauty, inner, spiritual sweetness, spiritual wealth, the honor of a heavenly calling. If you are wounded in your heart by something earthly: a beautiful face, or beautiful clothes, or money, or something else, then look at the image of the Savior and ask yourself: why am I wounded, Lord? Is it love for You, my Creator and Lord, the Source of all beauty and sweetness, or love for creation? And how great is my ingratitude and untruth? How great is my heart's delusion? Remember that human beauty is God's beauty. I thank the Lord, who punished me with fire, sorrow, cramped conditions and humiliation brought on by the enemy, for my grief at the poor and for my stinginess towards them. How much I had to languish and fall to the throne with a prayer for mercy before vestments and during the liturgy! How much violence before, during and after communion! How much bodily weakness! After consuming the Holy Gifts, everything went away - I calmed down, rejoiced, healed in spirit and body. God bless! He celebrated Vespers cheerfully; I read the fortieth prayer to Strelnikova and others firmly and loudly. The marriage was also performed firmly and loudly. God bless. You worry about food, drinks, the beauty of clothes, the acquisition of money, distinctions - these corruptible, visible, transitory, deceptive blessings, you chase beautiful faces, but your immortal soul, created in the image and likeness of God, remains corrupted by countless passions. Pay attention to the only need, the salvation of the soul, and do not chase after corruption, and do not be seduced by it. In the church there are common and concordant prayers; in the church - anticipation of the peace and sweetness of the Kingdom of Heaven; in the church - the village of God; the church is the house of God; and the dwellings of men are the villages of sinners 5 . The Church is the earthly heaven. I thank the Lord, who has given me the grace to accomplish with the strength of spirit and loudly the holy. liturgy and partake of the Divine Mysteries without condemnation; I thank the Lord for the gift of tears and tenderness. Parents' Saturday. I thank the Lord for the gift of tenderness during the all-night vigil in the Duma church, for my sincere prayer for the verbal 6 sheep, for the members of Christ, for the sons and daughters of God. O good Shepherd, great Shepherd, Lord Jesus Christ, feed your flock yourself, preserve, multiply and perfect it, feed it yourself in your pastures. Head Divine! Guard Your members! Holy Father! Raise Your sons and daughters. In the church we constantly glorify the Lord, Whom all creation—heaven and earth—glorifies outside the church. Human! You are beautiful, brilliant, noble, great and tall, rich; but you - alas! - despite all this, corrupt, unclean, nasty in the eyes of God! Только смирение и непрестанное покаяние может возвысить тебя, обновить тебя, и причащение Святого Тела и Крови Господней. God became incarnate, which means there is a disembodied Spirit, not created or created. God is an uncreated Spirit, Original; Angels and demons are created spirits. The spirits of holy men and sinners are spirits that have come out of the flesh. If you stare at your own face, which is not ugly, then you will stare at other people’s beautiful faces, and you will look at a shadow as if it were a creature - and this is already a mistake, and a big one. Through the temporary veil of flesh, whatever it may be, beautiful or ugly, one must look at the god-like, immortal soul. The devil takes advantage of our blindness and addiction to physicality and through this plunges us into unclean thoughts and desires regarding our neighbor, created in the image and likeness of God, and distracts us from caring for the salvation of his and our souls and in general from love for souls, concentrating love on bodies - on the eyes, on the cheeks, on the lips, and so on. To stand intelligently and fruitfully in church during divine services, you need to know what is depicted at each service - Vespers, Matins and Mass; just as, for example, in a theater the audience knows what is being played out on stage. Let us borrow for worldly people the likeness of worldly things. How can you intelligently and profitably attend a divine service without knowing what is happening and being remembered in it? And here important things are remembered and accomplished: the creation of the world, Angels and man, the first beatitude of man, the commandment of the first people, their temptation and fall, expulsion from paradise and its closure, the tearful repentance of Adam and Eve, the promise of the Savior, preparation for receiving Him, the appearance of the Savior and His earthly life from the swaddling clothes to the tomb and ascension. I unworthily partake, Lord, of Your Most Pure Body and Blood, for hitherto I have not abandoned the carnal and evil desires of my heart, and I still work with the various passions that nest in the depths of my heart and come to light on occasion. God! Cleanse the depths of my heart. They say: Glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. This glory of the Holy Trinity must be within us - in constant distance from every bad thought and desire, from every evil, every passion, such as: malice, envy, enmity, pride, waywardness, flattery, partiality, fornication, gluttony and drunkenness, and so on. Glory to the Divine Mysteries of the Body and Blood of the Lord! Servant of God Feodosia Vasilyevna Vladykina (née Dremyatskaya), who was about to die completely in her severe illness, after confession and communion she quickly recovered: the illness passed with peace, long sleep and heavy sweat. February 15, 1870. Sunday. I gave her communion yesterday at two o'clock in the afternoon. I thank You, Lord, for you so comfort me, a sinner, and work such miracles of goodness and omnipotence through me, wretched, unclean, reeking of passions. This is what small faith, like a grain of peas, does! Confirm my faith and give me life by faith! Do not let me get carried away by sweets and into the destructive ways of my mother-in-law 7. I thank You, Lord my God, for you have granted me the grace to perform the Divine Liturgy in the Duma church with animation, to partake without condemnation of the Divine Mysteries with a feeling of the life-giving warmth of the Holy Spirit in my mouth and in my innards and with a taste of the divine world, and to boldly say the word about fasting. February 15, 1870 God gave me tenderness with tears when reading the Gospel during the liturgy about the Last Judgment of Christ, at the thought that the All-Good Lord, for an insignificant alms, introduces its zealots into His eternal Kingdom, prepared from the creation of the world, and forgives their sins; and I condemned myself for often giving alms with indignation, murmuring, vexation, and malice. I marveled at my malice, my pride, how I was such an unfaithful steward of God’s gifts and an unfaithful distributor of them, despite the fact that the Lord always sent me the lot of the poor! Do not judge me, Most Righteous Judge, and admonish me never to be upset with the poor, but to be willing to share with them. The enemy aroused in me a strong, burning passion for valuable fish (salmon and caviar), arousing strong stinging for my brother when he ate. It was necessary to cry out strongly inwardly to the Lord in order to get rid of this inner sweetness, from this scorching sting of the devil. This is how weak, damned, poor, poor, blind, naked I am! That's how ridiculous and pathetic a person is! This is how close a person is to a strong fall! This is how close a person is from the lofty to the ridiculous and absurd! Oh, how necessary it is to mortify and enslave your body, seething with unclean passions! But what is human flesh, the most beautiful and fresh? Isn't it white straw, isn't it unclean, isn't it clothing like linen, woven by the hands of the Wise Artist from rough earth, growing through the fruits of the earth and the flesh of animals when we eat them? Is it not decay, is it not pus, is it not stench? For a momentary, although intense pleasure, men and women slavishly fulfill the words of the Creator of creation: be fruitful and multiply [Gen. 1, 28]. So, this is what sexual pleasure is given for, what the beauty of a woman is for - and not for pleasure itself, not for fun, not for lust, not for temptation, not for outrage over the flesh, over the weak vessel, over the body, which should be the church of God. After such a special, not only secular, but also spiritual education, we should expect that our students will emerge as sincere believers, good Christians, established on the rock of faith and the commandments of Christ. It turns out wrong! Those who come out do not believe in anything at all, they are cold to the word of God and to the Church, to its worship and saving institutions. Why is this? Because the enemy sows tares in the midst of the wheat, and because the acquired knowledge is not brought to unity, to the result; young men do not know, do not see their spiritual capital, do not introduce it into their consciousness, do not deposit it in their hearts. It is up to the art of the teacher to bring all the children’s knowledge to a conclusion, to draw conclusions from everything that has been learned in the institution. Whoever sins and does not feel his sin, for example, a fornicator, a drunkard, a thief and others, is clearly sleeping the death of sin, dead spiritually; a sign of spiritual life is a feeling of one’s sins, awareness of their abomination, and contrition for them. Alas! Sin terribly seduces us: it is pleasing to our sin-loving flesh, and it greedily, with pleasure, rushes into its arms, melting in sinful sweetness. He loved righteousness and hated iniquity [Ps. 44, 8; Heb. 1, 9]. This is what love for God and Christian perfection consist of - love for truth, hatred of lawlessness! Dream. A vessel, like a tub or a barrel, and in its crevice a large and terrible hiding snake, whose terrible head, with terrible eyes, sticks out; how the very boards on which some painful boils were made apparently suffered from the action of its poison; как он стал извиваться, когда стали его прожигать. The vessel is our body; the serpent nesting in it is the devil; scum on the body - daily boiling of passions, caused by the devil living in our flesh. Burning is fasting and prayer, from which the devil comes out of us, as the Savior says: this generation is driven out only by prayer and fasting [Matt. 17, 21]. February 19. Morning. Eggs greatly excite and threaten the one who eats them with loss of physical and mental purity, especially at night; when there is lust, then the charmer sends charming women in a dream, who guard the opportune moment to seduce us. We go among many networks. Caution is needed in everything: in food, drink, sleep, etc. Bear each other's burdens, and thus fulfill the law of Christ [Russian: Bear each other's burdens, and thus fulfill the law of Christ] [Gal. 6, 2]. If bearing the burdens of one’s neighbor is the fulfillment of the law of Christ, and fulfilling the law consists of love for God, then how gratifying it is for a true Christian to bear the burdens of one’s neighbor and deny oneself for the sake of love for God and one’s neighbor, deny oneself, like Philaret the Merciful 8 or like the apostles, who laid down their souls for Christ and the brethren, like the martyrs, hierarchs and others. (Lord! Do not give me a rumor in the city, for the sake of any guilt.) Pay debts for debtors to creditors, visit the sick, clothe the naked, and so on. Cathedral liturgy. Meeting of military officials. Благодарю Господа, укрепившего сердце мое небоязненно произнести имена членов Царствующего дома и литургию совершить с сердечным умилением и со слезами, только – ужасное искушение! – причастился с хладным сердцем, с колеблющеюся верою, и после толиких чудес причащения на мне и на многих людях во очию моею, и после причастия почувствовал в душе сильное смущение! What kind of temptation? I say this to my shame. This is my punishment for being satiated and drinking too much. Накануне на свадьбе был у Швецовой (Матвеевой замужем), вино пил различное, шоколад скоромный пил (среда). He began the prayer behind the pulpit timidly, but then overcame his fear and embarrassment and read it to the end slowly and loudly. Теснота довольно долго оставалась на душе – и за молебном: только покаялся и молился внутренно о себе и о людях. If I am so weak despite so many blessed supernatural means, then what can I say about other people who do not participate so often in these means? How do they need grace, supernatural insight, strengthening? How weak I turn out to be when I need to fulfill the law of love for my neighbor, when one of the strangers comes to my house, and I am alienated from his heart, instead of having him and caressing him as if he were my own, pleasing him for good, as if he were my own. Do I have to go somewhere with my family and take this stranger with me, like an animal I am alienated from him, and some spirit, of course evil, oppresses me, darkens me, weakens me, puts me to shame, deprives me of common sense and words until I, in repentance and in tears, cast out from myself this spiritual serpent, the ancient serpent, the devil and Satan, the flatterer the whole universe [Rev. 12:9], - and then it becomes easy for me, easy, and I already look affectionately, with meekness and love at the person whom I previously looked at unfriendly, at whom I breathed enmity. There are several passions at work here: blind self-love, envy, malice and pride, the passion of covetousness, for this happens more because of money, lust, gluttony and satiety, for this happens more when I am satiated. The enemy does whatever he wants out of a glutton, he can plunge him into whatever sin he wants, at least he strongly tempts him to every sin: to laughter, and fornication, and foul language, and malice, and rioting, and murder, and so on. So, I, a sinner, a madman, laughed at the weakness of brother Alexei at the grave of the Pominnikovs and Poslavskys - because Alexei, not knowing the lithium funeral troparions, did not sing them, or sang them, repeating the same verse. This is how conveniently we move from one grave sin to another. How a flatterer turns us like a wheel! God! Have mercy on us! I sinned against the Lord by condemning my brother, Archpriest Matthew, of unmercifulness and love of money, while he himself was the same, and even worse. I must always thank God for the material means of life that we have, despite the enormous expenses for the needs of ourselves and other people - our own and our neighbors, especially the poor, for we are well-fed, and decently dressed, and are under a good shelter; secondly, I must thank the Lord for the gift, the priceless gift of health, with which He awarded me, despite my countless sins and falls - and health is a true treasure, irreplaceable: with it you can have everything you need for life. I don’t worry about unnecessary things, but I cast my sorrow upon the Lord, for I have lent to Him my property, which He gave to me, and I hope that I will not be put to shame before the hard-hearted and proud rich, who despise poverty, or the Lord Himself in the person of the poor, who said: inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did it to me [Matt. 25, 40 ]. On the contrary, all the rich, the highly wise, who despise my poverty for the sake of Christ, will be put to shame - all Philippi, Gerasimos and others... Lord! help your servant! God! Enlighten Your servant, so that I will not become discouraged and complain! God! glorify Your holy name, as in the ancient generations, so now! God! update 9 signs and wonders! February 22, 1870 There are effeminate men who are very busy with their appearance and place all their pleasure and happiness, their whole life, in its appearance; Everything they wear is dapper, elegant, and it’s a disaster if anything they have is not to their taste or unclean, tattered; any mistake in clothing plunges them into shame and embarrassment, as if it were a matter of loss of their honor, although they do truly dishonorable things without a twinge of conscience; they often look in the mirror to see whether they look good, whether their face and eyes are pleasant, whether they have the usual freshness, whether their hair is good; but whether the robe of the soul is clean, whether the robe of the soul is good, whether the face of the soul is pure - they do not care about this, and thus they learn to appear, and not to be good, to be hypocrites, to be Pharisees, with painted tombs, which on the outside seem beautiful, but inside are full of the bones of the dead and all uncleanness [Matt. 23, 27]. Resurrection. Conspiracy. I thank the Lord, who has given me the grace and strength to perform the early liturgy without stumbling, and through the prayer of faith to defeat the adversary, and to pronounce all the names of the Royal House firmly, with faith and love, and to partake in the world of spiritual powers. I thank You, Lord, who heard my prayer when I came to church at the Hours and when my soul was dying spiritually from enmity against my brother and my father, Archpriest Matthew; You accepted my heartfelt repentance, You granted it to me, You drove away from me a horde of passions that embarrassed and oppressed me, and, having cleansed my sins with the grace of Your Holy Spirit, You granted me heavenly peace and great lightness, and illuminated my face with Your gracious light, as it is written: Those who turned their gaze to Him were enlightened, and their faces will not be ashamed [Ps. 33, 6]. Glory to You for everything. Have mercy, O Lord, on Your servant Archpriest Matthew, enlighten his heart's eyes, placate his soul, give him and his wife tears of repentance, soften and humble his heart, make him compassionate, merciful and generous to the poor: may he from now on squander what he has collected for many years, may the enemy not stifle his soul with covetousness and lie to him into pride, and hardness of heart, and wickedness, and malice, and enmity with the brethren and with others. And grant, O Lord, to all of us and all of Your people the spirit of repentance and tenderness, the spirit of mercy and generosity, the spirit of purity, humility, abstinence, patience, kindness, and benevolence. Amen. Teach me, Lord, to sincerely wish well to enemies, real or imaginary, and to pray for them for the salvation of their souls with all my soul. Let not your heart be (horrified) nor afraid [Jn. 14, 27]. Say this to yourself when the enemy confuses and frightens you in your heart during public prayer. Today at 9 o'clock in the morning there was a prayer service for Nikolai Andreevich Pomorsky and Evgenia Andreevna. He served cheerfully, with warm faith, without stumbling. Only in the end the enemy confused him; When I left the house, on the road, I left the struggle and internal prayer, and I calmed down. (Strong tea relaxes the nerves.) Oh, what careful care does the field of the heart require, in which the enemy constantly sows tares, growing with terrifying speed and drowning out the wheat of faith, purity and goodness. Requires more care than an ordinary field. Human nature, the human heart, is deeply corrupted by sin, therefore I am reconciled with sinners, but not with sins; I make peace with the evil, irritable, covetous, fornicators, gluttons - those who repent, but not with malice, anger, covetousness, fornication, gluttony and other sins. Again the prodigal thorn, prodigal corruption bothered and tormented me today in class (sixth) and did not allow me to calmly read the history of the Church. (Before class I ate delicious peas with black bread). There is no need to eat in front of the class: food gives birth to fornication. Lent is a time of special war against the enemy of the human race. Vervie, rope (Church Slavic) - rope. Sinners (Church Glav.) – sinners. Wed: I wish to sneak into the house of my God rather than live in the villages of sinners (Russian: I wish it would be better to be at the threshold of the house of God than to live in the tents of wickedness) (Ps. 83:11). Verbal (Church Slavic) – rational, spiritual, mental. Mother-in-law (Church Glav.) - flow, move, go. Filaret the Merciful, the Righteous (f792). Memory 1/14 December. Renew (Church Glorious) - restore, revive through the grace of Jesus Christ. You might be interested in: