Diary. Volume X. 1866-1867

I • II • III • IV • V • VI • VII • VIII • IX • X • XI • XII • XIII • XIV • XV • XVI • XVII • XVIII • XIX • XX • XXI • XXII • XXIII • XXIV • XXV • XXVI This edition is the first publication of all currently known diaries of the holy righteous John of Kronstadt (1829 - 1908). The diaries cover the period from 1856 to 1898. At the moment, there are no diary notebooks for 1885 - 1890 and 1894 - 1896 and for the period from 1898 to mid-1908. The absence of notebooks over the years does not in any way detract from the significance of the publication, since the missing notebooks would have added some details concerning the life of the righteous man, without adding anything substantive. In connection with the publication of the diaries, it should be said that for the first time they provide the opportunity to compile a true biography of the righteous man, both from the point of view of facts and the essence of his spiritual feat. The currently available biographies of Father John of Kronstadt are somewhat simplified: they are neither an icon nor a photograph, but rather look like a popular print. As an entertaining read, such biographies have a right to exist - but as an aid on the path to salvation, as a spiritual guide, they can do more harm than good, since they can mislead the reader about the life of the righteous, painting a picture of the world around him, in which there was little resemblance to the real, often very harsh reality. Many pages of the diary are written by Father John with the utmost frankness, so that the reader may wonder if he is an ordinary person, Father John - although he is a priest, and perhaps sinners like us. However, a careful reading and study of the diaries of the righteous man shows that no, he is not at all like that and that there is almost an abyss between him and us. What modern Christians are already accustomed to, what constitutes, one might say, the almost everyday side of the life of a modern person, that world of thoughts, which is almost the usual environment of the inner life of a modern Christian and is not even realized by him and is not assessed in any way - this was recognized by the righteous as a bitter fall, requiring on his part the most cruel, merciless reproof. His self-reproach is so great, consistent and persistent that it shows that truly the Spirit of God was at work in him - and even though the Lord allowed him to stumble, He also quickly raised him up. By the strength of his struggle with mental temptations in the midst of the sea of ​​life and in the midst of the world in which he lived, the holy righteous John sets an example of one of the greatest saints of the 19th - early 20th centuries, on whom the great mercy of God rested, which, according to the word of the Apostle Paul, does not depend on the one who struggles, but on God who has mercy (Rom. 9:16). Knowing that Father John loved divine services and himself read the canon at Matins, some priests also try to read the canons at Matins, but often do not get what they expect, because, making extraordinary but isolated efforts, they lose sight of the concern for the hourly and minute-by-minute correction of their soul, the unceasing presentation of their conscience to God, which requires tension of a different quality. In this case, it is no longer a person who strives to do something good from his point of view, but the soul of a person is enlightened, like glass by the rays of the sun, by the word of God, which is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword: it penetrates to the separation of soul and spirit, joints and marrow, and judges the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And there is no creature hidden from Him, but everything is naked and open before His eyes: to Him we will give an account (Heb. 4:12-13). Man is judged by it every minute and tries to remove from the soul every stain that is revealed on its clothes by the Divine verb. That is why the diaries of the holy righteous John of Kronstadt begin with an in-depth reading and interpretation of the Holy Scriptures. It is impossible to be saved and have the right to live without knowing the Law of Life, without fully studying the will of God, embodied in the Holy Gospel. This is the first commandment of the righteous to all those who are being saved - to read, delving into the content, and again read the Holy Scriptures, delving into the inspired verbs, and judge themselves with them, and as they are fulfilled, again ask the Lord to open the mind to understand what is being read. It is like an unshakable stone on which only everyone can erect the structure of their salvation. From the diaries of Father John, we learn how he struggled with the passions inherent to one degree or another in every person, what his true relationships were with his colleagues in the church, with his wife Elizabeth and with relatives - and these relationships were very far from what is usually portrayed by his biographers. But from the diaries we also learn which path the righteous man followed and what Christian way out he found from the complex collisions of human existence. “What is my diary? – wrote Father John. - Not my praise. He is the story of my sins!” Among other aspects of the righteous man’s life, attention is drawn to his attitude towards the poor, who asked him for alms many times a day. There were dozens of such petitioners, and later hundreds. Many of them were people who really got into trouble, but there were also many about whom it can be said that although they once got into trouble, they made this very trouble a means of their livelihood and no longer wanted to fundamentally change their situation, the consequence of which was their impudent, and sometimes simply arrogant behavior. Father John seemed to them to be a kind of simpleton who could, without hesitation, be deceived countless times. The priest himself, however, tried not to notice this deceit and not to be embarrassed by it. Guided by the words of the Gospel about the benefits of doing good to those in need, he strove with all his might to fulfill Christ’s commandment about poverty to the highest degree possible. And since this commandment about the merciful, whom the Lord raises to the level of bliss of the true sons of God, opens before man an eternal, incorruptible life with the saints, its implementation in the life of any person certainly faces the most fierce resistance of the spirits of darkness. Father John does not often speak in his diary about his feat of charity to the poor. But he depicts every mistake, his mistake, his sin of hard-heartedness towards them in a very three-dimensional manner; he brings before God's eyes for judgment his heart wounds inflicted by the sins of love of money and hardness of heart, asking the Savior to heal these ailments. However, Father John’s irritation with some beggars is not an everyday irritation characteristic of us, but it is the irritation of a person carrying out a feat, and an extraordinary feat, which no one in Russia then carried out to such an extent. And therefore, one can correctly judge Father John only by carrying out the same feat. “I cried before God against society for not caring for the poor and for providing them with my meager means. If even now this charitable institution does not take place (House of Diligence - Ed.), I can only complain to the Lord at the throne about the hardness of people’s hearts - and it will not be me who will be ashamed that it will not take place, but society, for for my part I carried the poverty of Kronstadt on my shoulders for seventeen years and always and everywhere, as much as I could, I satisfied the real poverty. Of course, sometimes I was wrong. Who doesn't make mistakes? I was sometimes mistaken about the faces of the poor; I made mistakes myself... But don’t judge me for this: I’m a human being. One thing I will say is that there were many, many beggars..." Reading these lines, the reader should clearly understand that not only in Kronstadt, but throughout all of Russia, we repeat once again, there was no such person at that time who daily (!) personally (!!) distributed alms to support the poor of the city, and not for a year or two, but for decades, distributing alms both from his own funds and from those that the Lord gave him through other people. The rich society of that time, despite all the attempts of Father John to get him to participate in this holy work, with exceptional unanimity responded to his calls with deafness and hardness of heart. Russian-European society, which did not hesitate to call itself Christian, having appropriated a huge part of material wealth, enriched itself at the expense of others, without adequately paying for the work of millions of people, did not at all want to share its accumulated wealth with anyone. The word of the Apostle James came true over this society: Behold, the wages that you withheld from the workers who reaped your fields cry out, and the cries of the reapers have reached the ears of the Lord (James 5:4). This inexpressible grief of many people burned the heart of the righteous man and demanded the most active participation from Father John. For the giver of alms, faith in the all-perfect, good and loving Providence of the Heavenly Father is a fiery test of strength. That is why the Lord said: it is more blessed to give than to receive (Acts 20:35). But the price of this bliss is very high. Many lines of the diary reveal to us the essence of this spiritual struggle. Let us cite just one statement on this topic by Father John himself: “Do not expect joy and consolation from the Lord for deeds of mercy towards your neighbors, but fiery scourges and strong struggle from the devil, who hates all good, and do not be faint-hearted, but courageously endure the attacks of malice from the devil, or stinginess, involuntary envy, despondency, impurity and other things, and do not at all complain about God and do not blame the Lord in your temptation. Yes, remember that fiery temptations are necessary for you.” Nowadays there is a lot of talk about a person’s right to personal privacy, that one cannot touch on what a person wrote in his personal diary. Saying this, people forget that at the Last Judgment there will be no personal secrets, innermost feelings and thoughts. To such honorers of personal secrets we will respond with the words of the holy righteous Father John himself, which he wrote, referring to his diary: “Do not destroy this book even after my death: perhaps someone will be found similar to me in thoughts and feelings and will show his deep sympathy for what is written in this book, if not for everything, which I do not dare to hope for (because there may be errors here, with strict criticism), then at least for some parts of it. I consider everything that is good and just in this book not to be mine, but to belong to God, since we are not able... to think anything from ourselves, as if from ourselves, but our ability is from God (2 Cor. 3:5). My only mistakes and shortcomings." The publication of the diaries fulfills the will of Father John, all the more immutable since the testator in this case is one of the great saints of the Russian Orthodox Church of recent times. Hegumen Damascene (Orlovsky) The tenth notebook of the diaries of Father John of Kronstadt chronologically covers the period from January 1866 to the beginning of February 1867. However, some of the notes at this time were made by Father John in separate notebooks. Thus, volume 10 of this edition begins with entries dated January 1866 (interrupted on January 23), and again the diary entries resume on April 6, 1866 and end on February 6, 1867. Volume 11 of this edition contains entries made from the end of January to April 5, 1866; the entries for volume 12 begin on February 5, 1867. The text of the Holy Scriptures, quoted by the author in Church Slavonic, is given in the publication in Russian translation. The parallel Church Slavonic text of some quotes, necessary for understanding the author’s interpretation, was introduced by the editors and is printed in square brackets: They were rich in every good deed [Church Slavic: you abound in every good deed]. A deviation from the general principle of citation are some poems that are cited in the Slavic language, which seems more appropriate stylistically or semantically. The publication uses the following conventions: (Luke 1:1) - an indication of a quotation of Holy Scripture made by the author; [ OK. 1.1] - an indication of the quotation of Holy Scripture made by the editors; [...] – unread word; [glory] – supposedly read word; [animals] is a word missing from the text, but necessary in the context, introduced by the editors. We are images of God, which means we are not our own – God’s; God is in us as in a mirror, as in a vessel. This vessel was chosen by Me [Acts. 9:15], you are the church of the living God, as God said: I will dwell in them and walk in them (2 Cor. 6:16). Create a teaching plan. The Heavenly Teacher came down from heaven to teach people the truth - it cost Him the cross. We should consider giving alms a blessing, for Christ Himself, in the person of the poor, accepts, and He is able to reward us. I will never leave you nor forsake you [Heb. 13, 5]. When will I learn to be forgiving of the infirmities of my old father? For my mercy, eternal life with eternal bliss is prepared for me. Only [mercy] must be done according to the will of God, willingly, with faith in Christ who accepts, with meekness, humility, and simplicity of heart. Their god is the belly [Phil. 3, 19]. What to wear with your books is what you would wear for a beggar. Print conversations. Saint Euphemia. The devil, against his will, regulates our lives according to the Gospel. You don't need to drink milk. There is a little less oil. Paralysis from satiety: Poor, hard-working people do not suffer from paralysis. Our sun - Christ - walks around us every day at liturgy. I called out verses on the Lord and wrote out verses for holidays and Sundays. Suppress laziness, absent-mindedness, pride, anger, envy, covetousness, gluttony, disobedience and stubbornness. Holy, Holy, Holy Lord! [Is. 6, 3]. This instills the greatness of the holiness of God’s being, according to which He does not tolerate the slightest sin, hates sin, for example, pride, hatred, envy, etc., and punishes every sin or cleanses it as a result of repentance. Our whole life proves that the Lord our God is holy and hates and pursues sin: punishment immediately follows (sorrow and oppression) for the sin committed by thoughts, hearts, wills, words, deeds and, on the other hand, peace, silence, lightness, sweetness after sincere repentance, they constantly preach to us about the greatness of the holiness of God’s being, but it is necessary to live according to His holy commandments. According to this holiness, God the Father sent His Only Begotten Son, the Most Holy of all saints, as a sacrifice for the sins of the world. You plunged the abyss into the river... 1 Analyze, sort out your heart, bring into clear consciousness its passions: pride and arrogance, anger, envy, irritability, covetousness, gluttony, sexual impurity, etc., and lament about them. Consider yourself the feces of sin, and consider others a fragrance to God according to their virtues - meekness, humility, silence, gentleness. People who have become rich in knowledge, but have not known themselves as they should are ignorant, and they, being rich in pride, malice, wickedness, covetousness, are poor in Christian virtues - meekness, humility, purity, simplicity, non-covetousness, which common people have as natural. Has not God turned the wisdom of this world into foolishness? (1 Cor. 1:20). How long will I not live the simple and perfect life of my Lord Jesus Christ, casting all my sorrow on Him? Until I put on my Christ? Until I willingly serve everyone, as the Lord commands? Do not refuse any of the beggars, but give alms within your power. Look at a Christian person as a member of the body of Christ, respect everyone, without distinction of age, rank, condition, gender, equally rich and poor, noble and simple, educated and uneducated, healthy and sick, in happiness and misfortune, please everyone, serve for the good. May they all be one, just as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You, so may they also be one in Us [Jn. 17, 21]. Oh, the highest, most blessed desire for me of our Lord Jesus Christ! How can one not contribute to this desire, this prayer? Everything is the Lord. This truth is life-giving, sweet, and comforting to the heart. We rely on Him in everything: He is the boss, our trustee, the giver of life, the breadwinner, the dresser, the warmer, the enlightener, the purifier, the sanctifier, the protector, the peacemaker, the helper, the deliverer, the Savior, the guarantor of eternal blessings. Amen. Take care of the core, everything else is just leaves. And the hearts of ordinary people are better than those of secular, educated people. God has chosen the weak things of the world to confound the strong things (1 Cor. 1:27). Look: through gluttony the old man grows and strengthens, the kingdom of the devil in the heart spreads and is established. If our flesh is resurrected, then we must keep it in abstinence and purity. If we are called to eternal life, then why do we neglect it and care too much about temporary life? Why don’t we despise the temporary in order to give the full price to the eternal? Who chases dirt when they give him gold? Who chases after corruption when he is given an incorruptible, eternal treasure? Who loves darkness when they want to bring him into the light? Remember that for piety and the fear of God it is necessary to always thin your heart through abstinence, prayer, hymn, and the memory of God’s judgment. And now our hearts have become numb, coarse, carnal, and unclean. How the flesh has advanced in its charms lately! Look, what vain readings are missing? What, what sweets have not been invented for food and drink, starting with tea, coffee, various pies, spices and other things? What clothes have not been invented? How are homes not decorated? - In every possible way, like the royal palaces. What festivities are missing, what is missing from them? What pleasures, what [fires]? What more convenient means have been invented to please God and save the soul? – Fasts are neglected, church regulations, divine services, etc. are neglected, the Gospel is not read. The end of all is to instill disgust for sin and love for virtue, extreme hatred for the devil and complete love and affection for God. Mother is the god of the earth. She is weak - and I am even weaker internally, in my heart, according to my passions. Her weaknesses are only external. Mother is the embodiment of love, the embodiment of simplicity, meekness, humility - one must learn from her. And how the devil does not love such people, how he arms [against them]! But the enemy has achieved nothing against us by the grace of Christ the Lord. In the power of His fortress we know your machinations and we will defeat you! Despise yourself mercilessly (the old passionate man), always boldly go to war against yourself, trampling on your accursed heart and your darkened mind, and follow the commandments of God. People cling to earthly blessings because they have not known the greatest good and bliss of clinging to the Lord, they have not known how this clinging to the Lord is life-giving, peaceful, easy, sweet, enlightening. But what can we say about those who cleave to earthly blessings - food and drink, sweets, money, honors when they have repeatedly learned the sweetness of working for the Lord? They are much more guilty than the first and, if they do not correct themselves, they will perish in evil. The earth, which drinks the rain that descends in abundance and wears down thorns and thistles, is obscene and curses are near (Heb. 6:7-8) 3. Let those remember Esau. But remember, Lord, our weakness, the charm of worldly goods, the passion of our flesh, and do not enter into judgment with Your servants, do not repay us for our sins. Die to the pleasures of the flesh, to love God with all your heart and your neighbor as yourself. It is not teas and coffee, pies and snacks that constitute sweetness, but only sweetness when we look for in people a gentle, ruddy, beautiful face, plump, white hands, graceful gait, speech, facial expression, and when we abhor people with a rude, simple, dark face, dark, wrinkled hands, with a simple, not graceful gait, with simple, rude, incorrect speech and simple expression on his face. – Everything is in the image of God. God! Until now, over the course of many years of my life, I have found peace in You alone and true life and bliss, and in clinging my heart to earthly blessings I have found only tightness, darkness, and the machinations of the enemy - through Your gifts - will drive me away from You and from love for my neighbor! God! Make me wise to trust in You alone with all my heart! A priest called to perform the most heavenly Sacraments must himself be heavenly while still on earth. In the attachment of the heart to earthly goods there is only one languor, sorrow, crampedness, humiliation. To cleave to God is good, there is bliss [Ps. 72, 28]. Until now, I have not yet loved with all my heart the Holy, Consubstantial, Life-Giving and Indivisible Trinity - the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit - the guilt 4 of every being and every good and the cause of countless blessings for me, as for everyone. God! Create, may I love You most of all. Apart from God and my neighbor, I should not attach my heart to anything, I should not spare anything for God and my neighbor - in God we should all be one, but dust and corruption are not one with us: the flesh is our temporary home; food, drink, money, silver, gold, metals in general, clothing, houses - our temporary needs. A Christian must die to the elements of the world, be dead in heart to them: does a dead person enjoy food and drink, clothing, money, magnificent dwellings? - No, the soul of the deceased died for the body and all its needs. May God grant that everyone may feel as good as I feel, and even better than that, for I am unclean and unworthy. So a Christian should be kind to everyone, who considers the well-being of others as his own well-being, and their ill-being as his own, who covers up the sins of others and does not dwell on them with the attention of his heart, like a fly on sick and rotten places, but passes them by, because there is no benefit from them, but harm, and like a bee sits on flowers and sucks out pleasant and healthy honey from them, so he focuses only on the virtues of a person, extracting from them an edifying lesson for yourself. If they say to him: such and such a rich or noble or adorned with distinctions is a great sinner, unmerciful, cruel covetous and the like, and yet he is happy and held in high esteem by people, then he answers them: I myself am the greatest sinner, however, by the boundless mercy of God towards me, I am happy, I have everything I need and also do not deserve my good name, because by His mercies the Lord leads me to repentance, to the knowledge of Him. boundless goodness, as well as all those favored by Him, leads to the same thing, and if I and they do not correct themselves, do not turn to God with all our hearts, then we will all be subjected to the strictest punishment and condemnation. So, let it be good for me and good for everyone, for [we are brothers]. Seek, said the Savior, first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these earthly blessings will be added to you [Matt. 6, 33], that is, you try with all your might to have God and His love in your heart, and earthly blessings will be added and given to you without your care. Be a king over yourself, over your old man, over your passions. The owner of my house over everyone is the Lord, not me: I am the last member, and the judge is not I—the Lord. We live and act on earth, but our life and actions are recorded and evaluated in heaven, and reward is prepared for each of us. You need to remember this. Shepherds must serve the people of God with the thought of the Chief Shepherd and the reward from Him and should not lose heart if their labors are not appreciated, for when the Chief Shepherd appears, they will receive an unfading crown of glory (1 Pet. 5:4). So let all who do good and are oppressed not lose heart, for their reward is many in heaven [Matt. 5, 12]. God! May You be the only God of my heart, and let nothing on earth be the idol of my deified heart - neither honor, nor sweetness, nor splendor, nor wealth, nor beauty. Oh, how various idols intensify to invade my heart! Take heed to yourself, my soul! Don't take a nap, don't fall asleep. Speak more often to the sin that lives in you: I despise you, old beauty, old rottenness, I trample you, I don’t listen to you, rapist, predator, robber! I despise you in my heart, in my mind, in my memory, in my imagination, in my sight, in my hearing, in my taste, in my smell and in my touch. And to Christ God: I unite myself with You, Christ, with faith, hope, love, and reverence for You. Be you instead of my heart, instead of my mind, instead of my memory and imagination, instead of my sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch. Cover me entirely with You. Walk with a perfect heart before God and people; remember Whose members we are, Who is our Head. Remember that we are many, one body (1 Cor. 10:17). Affect people, not sweets, not money, not utensils, not elegant clothes. Bread of life – value Christ above all else; neglect perishable bread, perishable food and drink. Your spiritual eternal good requires this. He who is addicted to perishable food and drink, who is greedy for earthly sweets, who is not caring about animal bread, is not ardent towards Christ. Without You, Lord, I am a monster, a monster, a monster, because then there is a devil in me, an evil monster. And the devil mixes with me through delicacy and satiety. In this way he produces in me every passion. All textbooks must be compiled in such a way that they act not only on the mind, but also on the imagination, and on the heart, and on the will of the students, then they will bring them great benefit - and without this condition they will soon be forgotten and boring, like mustard, and will instill an aversion to learning in general and to the dryly compiled textbook in particular. Man is singular and triple, as the image of God; single in soul and triple in its powers - mind, heart and will. It is necessary to teach him according to this structure. Otherwise, if we form his mind, leaving the heart - the source of life - in neglect and his active ability - the will, then what will happen then? - Freak, not a person. Therefore, educators must certainly develop in young men a religious feeling, love for the Bible and the Gospel, for worship, public and domestic prayer, love for virtue - meekness, humility, kindness, patience, purity and chastity, obedience, goodwill to all, hard work, love and trust in God, the hope of eternal blessings. Go against yourself boldly, without hesitation, without laziness, that is, against your many-passionate heart. What you once grieved about, now rejoice about; what you previously regretted, now give away with joy. Make you wise and confirm, Lord! Do not listen to the whims of your heart - deny yourself and your property. Be like a guest at home. So keep yourself at home, so that no one is burdened by you and does not feel awkward living with you, but feel free, easy, like at home, at home, or like in the house of your father and mother. Always be complacent. Never be discouraged. To deceive us and to keep us in his networks, the devil uses diversion, that is, he diverts the evil that is actually in us to others, and while it is in us, he presents others as the perpetrators of real or imaginary evil. For example, a guest or his relative came, often visiting and eating and drinking with us, stinginess, enmity, envy are kindled in the heart of the stingy one, but he considers his brother to be the culprit, and not himself, although he himself is to blame all around, for he is stingy, envious, enmity, and the brother came with the spirit of love, and how much will the brother eat and drink? So it is in many other cases. For example, one of your acquaintances met and did not give a sign of attention, did not bow - many are offended by this, condemned for this, and become hostile. But who is the evil here? In the one who was offended, and not in the one who did not give a sign of respect: this latter could be short-sighted, or was thoughtful and absent-minded, or was out of spirit, not healthy, or at least, finally, considered it simply unnecessary to bow, or, perhaps, was not accustomed to it. So, we ourselves need to be meek, humble, respectful, good, and not demand this from others. Who will harm you if you are zealous for good? (1 Pet. 3:13). Or, for example, from delicacy and satiety or failure, we are often out of spirit and angry without any reason at others - who is evil again? In us, and not in our neighbors, and the evil that seems to be in others is a dream, a ghost, a mirage, a deception of the devil. Or again: we are stingy, and we consider as enemies those who consume daily necessities in abundance, especially our favorite sweets (sugar), God-given benefits by right of our family members and servants. We are envious, and consider as enemies those who live in abundance and prosperity and honor; There is evil in us, but we consider others to be the perpetrators of evil, and we justify ourselves. Or someone has wronged us (truly or imaginary): the offender, first of all, has done harm to himself by hurting us, and only brought us an opportunity for humility, patience and, therefore, to receive a reward from God - and we are hostile to the offender, instead of praying for him to God, as for someone who has suffered internal ruin and misfortune. Again the evil is in us, not in our neighbor. If we want and decide firmly to avoid evil, then with God’s help we will not tolerate any evil, actually so-called, but will always be complacent if we look with true eyes at everything that happens and happens. Blasphemous, nasty thoughts are in our corrupted heart, and whoever they relate to is holy: we must constantly condemn ourselves, hate ourselves. When we feel sorry for something for our neighbor, we feel sorry for Christ Himself, of Whom our neighbor is a member as a Christian. Therefore, we must serve our neighbor with all zeal, not sparing for him our property, our very sweets, which are dear and valued by us, for Christ, who is infinitely rich, is able to enrich us if He pleases, if only we always lived in love and did not spare anything for each other, just as He did not spare Himself for all of us. Let us remember the end of everything earthly, for everything will turn into earth; Let us count everything earthly, our very bodies, to dust - let us make every effort about the immortal spirit, about virtue, about mutual love. So that you can be satisfied with everyone and not condemn anyone, not see cunningly the sins of others, imaginary or real, but notice only your own, for this, imagine that in the whole world there is only God and you, for in fact we are one. Conduct yourself both at home and in church. This is to protect yourself from judging others and being angry with others, and for pastoral preaching you must study the lives of your parishioners in order to be able to instruct, reprove and correct them. When you stand in front of a large congregation in church, then for courage, also imagine that in the church there is God and you, for the whole Church is one body. Imagine also that all people before the Lord are meager vessels, and He is the Meager 6 . Carrying water in a poor woman [Lk. 22, 10]. The poor woman was a symbol of the apostles, who carried the grace-filled, spiritual water of the Holy Spirit in scanty vessels. We must read prayers with such attention, delve into them so deeply that we are not distracted by anything extraneous, such as coughing, hawking, snorting, etc., and not be irritated by anything like that, for this and the like is the weakness of a human being, elemental (in body), rude, or the fruit of pitiful ignorance, deserving compassion and not bitterness. Remember that the charming devil turns every little thing into a reason for anger at one’s neighbor; it is our duty to turn everything into a reason for love, patience, forbearance, and prayer. The devil does not spare any persons dear to us for our malice and even more arms against them. Remember that the devil, a slanderer and a malicious person, attaches enormous guilt to such things that in themselves are indifferent and even innocent, such as coughing during prayers, resting through the nose or eruption in the room caused by family members, and instills malice against those who did this. To impute all this for nothing, as in fact it is nothing, and to turn anger on the devil himself, as on his creation, and to sincerely love one’s neighbor. To the glory of the Triune God - Father and Son and Holy Spirit. Amen. Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name, Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, as it is in heaven and on earth! Thus let your light shine before men, so that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father who is in heaven [Matt. 5, 16]. Omnipotent Savior! I want this: Do this yourself with Your Holy Spirit - without You I cannot do anything. January 22nd, 1866. Another beginning. April 6, 1866. Love, respect for humanity as united with God, condescension for their weaknesses, sins, as the work of devilish violence, pity for them, serving them in many ways, like Christ Himself, prayer for them. My life must constantly be reasonable, must have an idea, meaning, plan, purpose. Remember your baptismal vows. It is good to strengthen hearts with grace, and not with foods from which those who engage in them do not benefit [Heb. 13, 9]. If you want grace to strengthen your heart, shaken by passions, abstain from early eating and drinking, especially delicacies and heavy eating. Do not serve the idol - the womb. So that your heart never falls away from God, does not cleave to anything, to any sweetness, always, and while eating and drinking, look with your heart [eyes] to God, the source of life, our breadwinner. Through the duality of our nature, spiritual and physical, the devil intensifies to completely turn us away from God, that is, he inspires us to love only the flesh and everything carnal, earthly, and to despise and hate the spiritual, heavenly; clings the heart to earthly blessings, food and drink, clothes, to money, to an earthly dwelling, to its brilliant surroundings, to theaters, festivities, carriages, etc., and love to God, the Most Pure Mother of God, to the Angels - our luminous brothers in Christ, to the holy people of God - our brethren, to the heavenly Kingdom and residence, to the Church of God, to the word God's life is completely cooling. All people must be one heart and one soul. Achieve this throughout your life. You, Lord, make me wise and help. First of all, implement these words in your home, among your guests or those who come on business. And all earthly blessings are one earth. Thou hast subdued all things under his nose [Ps. 8, 7]. [...] lay the price for the sold villages at the feet of the apostles [Acts. 4, 34 – 35]. And there is nothing mine in the world - everything is God’s. Nobody said from them that they were their own, but they had everything in common [Acts. 4, 32]. Away from the followers of Christ is this selfishness, to appropriate everything to oneself, to please oneself and one’s flesh, to become satiated, to dress exquisitely, etc. O the beauty of sweets and clothes! Away from the Christian heart! Charm defeats me every day! The beauty of pride, malice, envy, sweets, covetousness, stinginess! Because of my sins, I am unworthy of any sweetness, but perhaps bitterness, for my flesh is raging with gluttony and lust, and I constantly anger God because of my many-passionate flesh. How am I not already killing and enslaving her? Why do I eat and drink early? Why do I eat and drink sweets, with butter, cream, sugar? Why do I eat and drink excessively? Oh, satiated! Where is the mind? Where is piety and fear of God? Where is the zeal for the salvation of the soul? I teach abstinence, but I myself am intemperate; I teach meekness, humility, gentleness, but I myself am angry and irritable and proud; I teach mercy, but I myself am hard-hearted; I teach benevolence, but I myself am envious; generosity - but he himself is stingy; non-covetousness - but he himself is covetous! All earthly blessings: food, drink, clothing, money, light, air, and all spiritual blessings: the Sacraments, worship, the word of God, the writings of the holy fathers - were given to us in such abundance so that we would advance in mutual love, goodwill, hospitality, kindness, meekness, humility, non-covetousness and other virtues, so that we would seek first of all in ourselves and in others the Kingdom God and his truth, so that they place themselves below everyone else, others above themselves. Despite all the contradictions, despite all the diversity of characters and persons with whom you come into contact, try to be one heart and one soul. Do not be embittered for the sins of others - examine and condemn your own. Imagine that you are living in someone else’s house, visiting and sitting at the table. And when visiting, we are lenient towards the host and his guests. Only stupid owners are proud of their family and guests. When you see someone sinning, pray for him, so that the Lord will enlighten, have mercy, cleanse, strengthen and save him. We only look complacently at those who sin or have sinned, condemn and sometimes mock, forgetting that we ourselves are the same or worse sinners. Oh, cruelty! I am my own master in the house: I am not ashamed of anyone and I am not afraid, that is, when I do not do anything bad. If you want your soul and body to always be at ease, be abstinent and meek. Deny yourself sensual pleasures in the hope that instead of them you will receive higher, spiritual, Divine pleasures. Show every kindness to your neighbor in the hope that, according to the truth of God, it will be measured to you in the least measure, that the good you have shown to your neighbor will sooner or later return to your bosom, just as the evil you have done to him will either immediately or soon return to your bosom [Lk. 6, 38]. Remember that we are one body. We are one body of many (1 Cor. 10:17). Remember that God is righteous to the highest degree, every iota. Hymn 1 of the canon to Saint John the Baptist, troparion on Glory, tone 2: In the mouth of the abyss sometimes, O All-Wise One, the flood was filled by the grace of all crime. But I pray, O blessed one, dry up my sins through your Divine intercession. Sadness (Church Glav.) – care, care. Wed. The earth, which drinks the rain that falls on it repeatedly and grows grain useful to those for whom it is cultivated, receives a blessing from God; but the thorns and thistles that produce are worthless and are close to a curse, the end of which is burning (Heb. 6:7-8). Wine (church glory) is the reason, the source of something. Dream (Church Slavic) – an empty, false idea, a ghost; seduction, deception. Skudelny (Church Slavic) – clay; skudelnik - potter. You might be interested in: