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Gluttony and satiety killed me today both physically and morally: during the all-night vigil I was in such exhaustion, in such cramped conditions, in such spiritual and mental weakness that I could not speak some exclamations. So, there is no benefit from distinguishing foods, from pleasing the larynx and eating a lot! It’s no wonder how quickly and conveniently I make peace with my domestic enemy – with my flesh, with my belly! When I experience bad consequences from pleasing her and especially my belly, then I take up arms against her, and when I see a sweet piece and a pleasant drink, I immediately make peace with her, give her the hand of affection and gladly please her, my insidious friend. The sign of the cross means that the one signified by it has been redeemed by the cross of Christ for heaven from earth and the dominion of the devil. People rejoice that they feed animals, birds, fish, but I, the accursed one, grieve, having the [happiness] to feed people created in the image and likeness of God and the children of God in Christ, and I am embittered at them; people love the birds they feed, or fish, or four-legged animals and cheerfully give them food and drink, with a self-satisfied look - but I do not love my fellow humans and members, whom I feed, to whom I show mercy and with sorrow in my heart, with sternness on my face, I give them food or money. Remember that love for God and neighbor are inseparable. Remember that because of our addiction to earthly sweets, we become enemies of God and our neighbors. God! I thank You with all my heart, for You saved me from the fierce madness of my flesh, which was possessed by the stinging of sweets for my neighbor, when all sweets exist for him. January 8, evening, nine o'clock, 1866. Use everything, all sweets, like water and sand, without putting your heart into them, and do not regret anything for anyone, just as you do not regret anything for yourself. Do not exceed the limits when consuming food and drink. Lust and satiety produce moral impotence of the heart (uncleanness, pride, malice) and fill it with mental pigs 85 that torment the sensualist. The church of Christ is my living heart, I have completed my life with the passions of intelligent pigs 86. How hard it can be for me when I don’t serve the liturgy for a long time and indulge in the pleasures of food and drink! What a mountain does gluttony burden me with! And how much fornication there is in gluttony! Meanwhile, our life has developed in such a way that we indulge in gluttony every day. What about poor people?! - alas, they barely have a daily piece of bread! Do not look slyly at those who eat and drink among you: no one will eat more than themselves, their own stomach, and a person needs very little to be full, judging by himself. Take care of someone else's as if it were your own. Eating and drinking a lot weakens the soul and body and, as it were, puts them in shackles. Every fellow Christian is a member of Christ, Christ Himself, the image of God; infinitely value every person, especially a Christian, and money, sweets, clothes are decay, earth, ashes, dust, and everything of God, not ours; to quarrel with your neighbor over money, sweets and other earthly goods is madness. How long will we be on earth? How long not spiritual, not heavenly? How long will we not all love? How long shall we not be clothed with Christ? My flesh is earth, I must kill and crucify it every day, I must hate it like the devil himself. Hate yourself. Give, Lord! God, the more gifts of His goodness he gives us, the more he loves us, and we, the more we give to someone, the more we hate. Oh, damnation! Where is the love? January 10, 1866 First two classes after mass and lunch [at home]. God! I thank You for Your good obedience, for Your peace, Your boldness! Don't leave me in the future. Instead of your own heart, let you have the heart of Christ, or Christ Himself; love your enemies and ill-wishers, who are cold and inattentive to you. Be sure to despise yourself for being an old man. Respect yourself and everyone according to the new man and according to Christ. If they do not respond to love with love, to affection with affection, to affection with affection, do not be timid, do not be embarrassed. You've done yours. Look at them as if they were sick. Cream is very heavy - do not be tempted by it. Do not spare anything earthly for any person: through pity and stinginess, love is violated and the image of God in man is insulted, according to which he is a king, the owner of the whole earth: possess, it is said, the earth [Gen. 1, 28]. Everything is insignificant in comparison with him, and he is lord over everything. So, do not spare sweets for the one for whom all earthly sweets were created, for whom the sweetness of eternal bliss is prepared. Share earthly blessings with your neighbor, so that you yourself do not become satiated with them and do not corrupt your soul and body. Because of the flesh, for example, because of the stench emitted by your neighbor, also because of everything bodily and material - because of money, food and drink, clothing, etc., do not have enmity against your neighbor even in your heart and do not be upset with him, for his soul was created in the image of God, although it bears the sores of sins, and the flesh is earth, stinking pus because of our sins, and we all We wear stinking flesh, we all emit a stench: a fragrance is characteristic only of saints. Giving alms to the poor out of a good heart is the same as buying the Gospel, for the Gospel says: love one another, serve one another. And whoever bought and has the Gospel, or should read it, but does not do the things required by the Gospel, is the same as not having the Gospel. Listen, you [who are zealous] to buy you several Gospels and other books, but do not do works of mercy - what is in your books, in your library? You are busy with toys, but not doing anything. This is my weakness: addiction to earthly things and to my flesh, to this poisonous snake, the murderer, and coldness towards God and neighbor, His image; while He, the Lord, is everything for me, every material and spiritual good; my neighbors and I are one spiritual body (this unity is incomparably higher and stronger than the carnal, material, elemental). We must feel sorry for our neighbor in every possible way and help him in his needs and not be irritated with him in any way, love him as ourselves, according to the word of the Savior, lay down our soul for him, and not spare anything for him. Crucified by will 87 – and we must be crucified voluntarily in order to live with Christ. You don’t want to painfully give away your money to the poor - but give away and crucify the passion of love of money and stinginess; If you are angry at the beggars who surround you every day, give up your rage and embrace meekness and, with a friendly, clear face, distribute what you need; If you despise many who ask, for example, drunken and annoying people, do not despise them, but have pity and pray for them. Do not despise those who live in the spirit of this age, do not gloat when you hear about their vanity and madness, but pity and pray for them - they are sick, they are freely insane, darkened. How earnestly the enemy seeks our destruction every day and how we fail to seek our salvation, how we ourselves help the devil to destroy us! Look at human deeds and you will see the truth of these words with your own eyes. Have pity on the people! If Christ Himself is in the person of the poor, then one should not be irritated with the poor for any reason. Just as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me [Matt. 25, 40]. Give what is required with joy, if you have it: the Lord is omnipotent and generous. He can return everything to you in abundance. Be perfect in almsgiving: give with a sweet, tender heart, with a compassionate, compassionate one. Greed and gluttony are stupidity and dullness of the heart. So look at them and do not get carried away by the pleasant tickling of the flesh, despise the womb, which is and has been many times the cause of countless and greatest troubles. Adam and Eve, Judas, etc. You yourself are a witness to this: gluttony and greed are relaxation and impurity for the soul, relaxation for the body; Gluttony is the work of stupid children, people without spirit, carnal. Where is your mind? Where is your spirit? How many times have you tasted and seen that life and peace and strength of soul and body are in God, in communion of the Holy Mysteries, in reading the word of God, in prayer, in contemplation or contemplation of God, in considering the affairs of God? Leave earthly things to the earth. You are heavenly, you are elevated to heaven by the Savior’s love for mankind. How long will I, a fool, having so often, by the grace of my Lord God, tasted the incorruptible and life-giving food and drink - His most pure Body and His Blood, be jealous of the corruptible food that destroyed Adam and the entire human race? How long is gluttony, how long is greed, satiety? Until I fast, until I begin to abstain? The martyrs sacrificed their lives to God, wasting it in terrible agony, and we regret sacrificing His gifts to God - oil, candles, money, etc. Oh, wretchedness, ingratitude! Who gives life, light to the mind, warmth to the heart, correcting our evil aspirations, leading us to eternal blessings, which no eye can see... (1 Cor. 2:9), we regret the insignificant thing - what His hands created for our benefit; We take advantage of His countless gifts, and we spare Him one or more types of gifts, which He Himself can multiply for us. The director lets students go to the theater, makes Christmas trees for them, arranges gymnastics, dancing, allows them to eat fast food during Lent, but does not allow me to read edifying books in class. Coal is a hot sinner, burning with eternal fire. A hot coal of the righteous, completely imbued with the Holy Spirit, His fire, His light, His power. Do not regret anything, do not be irritated because of anything with anyone, not with any person, venerable in the image of God and adorned with every gift of God. Despise money as simple stones, earth and give it to demanding people. Despise sweets, eat simple food. Losing money is despised. Do not offend the Lord, who exists in the hearts of the most perfect, eternal life, by attachment to perishable goods, and do not commit fornication from Him with your heart, which should belong to Him alone, and do not crucify the second Son of God - otherwise fierce sorrows will crush you, hellish fire will engulf you. The Lord is enough for me—nothing else is essential to me: He is the source and giver of everything, He is both a provider and a trustee. Unchanging respect for humanity, even if it is mendicant and constantly annoying - respect, I say, because it is honored by the image of God. Pointing to the holy people of God, to their faces in the church and in homes - this is the crown and end of the Christian faith, the purification, renewal, sanctification of man and his elevation to eternal bliss. We should all strive for this. Having such promises, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, practicing holiness in the fear of God (2 Cor. 7:1). Food, drink, sweets, money stand as a strong wall between God and neighbor, cutting them off from them. To despise everything earthly, so that we may unite with God and our neighbors. Delicacy and intemperance weaken the heart, making it impatient, irritable, angry, stingy, envious, proud and disdainful, wayward and stubborn. To be ashamed to list out loud the absurd, vile sins of fallen, corrupted human nature means to pamper, indulge, pat it on the head, excuse it, when it needs to be punished, to reveal it, when it needs to be brought out, for show, for disgrace, 88 for public exposure and shame. Therefore, do not be ashamed to list either malice, envy, stinginess, pride, adultery, fornication, sodomy, bestiality, theft, blasphemous thoughts, or all shameful sins. Express them with boldness and full hope in God’s mercy, for there is no sin that overcomes God’s love for mankind. The word is true and worthy of all acceptance that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the first (1 Tim. 1:15), and the greater, the more serious a sin or an abyss of sins is cleansed, the greater the honor to the Master, His countless bounties, His love for mankind, goodness, and all power. If you save a righteous man, it is nothing great, and if you have mercy on a pure man, it is nothing wonderful: for you are worthy of Your mercy; but on me, a sinner, surprise Thy mercy, for this show Thy love for mankind, so that my malice does not overcome Thy unspeakable goodness and mercy 89. The priest must set an example of repentance to people, and for this he must read out the prayers before communion or the canon as sensitively as possible in the ears of the people. Heavenly King, Comforter, Soul of truth, Who is everywhere and fulfills everything, Treasure of good things and Giver of life... What does this prayer teach us? Firstly, that the Holy Spirit is our King and Ruler, as the royal procession of the Father; secondly, that He is our Comforter in sorrows, in troubles and misfortunes, in suffering, deprivation; thirdly, that He is the truth, enlightening, delighting and strengthening our souls, that He is everywhere in every place and fills everything (heaven and earth) like air, and we must constantly be filled with the Spirit, like spiritual breath; that He is the treasure of all goods, especially spiritual ones, and the Distributor of all spiritual gifts to people, also material ones; that He is the Giver of life to all people and every creature, and that the hope of life together with the Father and the Son should be placed in Him, and not on earthly goods, not on money, not on food and drink or anything else, also not on rich people, not on the strong and noble, or not on doctors; that one should not cling with the heart to earthly blessings and place the hope of life in them, but to the one God - the Creator, Life-Giver, Provider, Nourisher of every creature. This is what this prayer teaches us! So, obey the Holy Spirit together with the Father and the Son as the King of Heaven and Earth, remember that the commandments of the Lord are His will, His breath; be afraid of unrighteous thoughts, so that you do not offend the Heavenly King, be afraid of an instant addiction to anything earthly, for your soul is heavenly, His breath must be with Him and in Him incessantly; in sorrows, troubles, misfortunes, resort to the Heavenly Comforter, who exists everywhere and fulfills everything, and not to secular entertainment and consolation and comforters, which cannot give true consolation unless the Holy Spirit consoles; [do not seek] consolation in theaters, clubs, evenings, in secular books, songs, concerts, in secular games, but in the church of God, in worship, in which the grace of the Holy Spirit breathes, nourishing, cleansing, enlightening, reviving, delighting and strengthening the hearts of all sincerely praying, humble and repentant; always speak the truth and be afraid of lies that are contrary to the Holy Spirit, Who is the truth, especially in your heart, always be true, unfeigned, and then in all your words and deeds; be zealous for the truth, stand for it, constantly direct the eyes of your heart to the Lord, as He exists everywhere and fills everything, and do not for a moment be distracted or in oblivion of Him; do everything, think, feel and speak in Him and with Him! Ask Him for every good thing, as the treasure and source of all good things; trust in Him and no one else. Honor Him alone as the source of your life and the provider and builder of it, and do not rely on rich people, do not servile them, as a slave of the only God; also, do not rely on money, food, drink, earthly pleasures, for all this is lifeless rubbish, the earth cannot give life to the immortal soul, which is the breath of the Holy Spirit and is lived by Him and exalted by purity 90. If you joyfully accept the gifts of God’s goodness, give them to others with joy; If you treat yourself with joy, treat others with joy: not only those who treat you, but also those with whom you do not visit and do not treat yourself, for it is said: love your neighbor as yourself. Consider all earthly goods as rubbish and do not in any way equate them to a person, do not exchange them for a person, this majestic image of God; Value man infinitely above them and spare nothing for his needs. Every person, like you, is the owner of the earth, according to the will and determination of the Creator: possess, it is said, all the earth [Gen. 1, 28]... Remember that we are all one body: we are one body of many (1 Cor. 10, 17). Let them all be one [Jn. 17, 21]. Until now, my meal has not lacked in anything, due to the mercy and bounty of the generous God, despite unforeseen visits from various, sometimes frequent and many guests and unforeseen and numerous alms or sending money to relatives; I hope that I will not lack anything in the future, for the providential Heavenly Father will still be the same Father of generosity, almighty, all-good, all-wise. This, by the way, should be the hope of a Christian: none of us should be discouraged, faint-hearted, angry, or stingy when guests come to us or we have to give alms or send someone a parcel of money, for the most generous Lord will reward us for everything. With the measure you use, it will be measured to you... All these things will be added to you [Matt. 7, 2; 6, 33]. You just need to preserve mutual love and hope in God’s providence in every possible way. I will never leave you nor forsake you [Heb. 13, 5]. The sin of my neighbor is my sin, for we are one body of sin; his misfortune is my misfortune. And therefore I must be ill with the sins of my neighbor, ill with his illnesses, tormented by his misfortune: for example, if such and such is angry, proud, willful, I must be ill with his infirmities, pray for him as for myself; or if someone has a fire, I should be afraid of his fear, grieve with his sorrow, tormented by his misfortune. If one member suffers, all members suffer with it. 1 Cor. 12, 26. Rubbish, rubbish, all sweets, money, things - both in themselves and in the soul they always turn out to be rubbish, and even in the body when we either consume them immoderately or have an addiction to them. Let’s get away from this, brothers, and get as close to God and to your soul as possible! God must be in everyone! Let us love abstinence, brethren, we who corrupted ourselves in the beginning with intemperance and dispassion for the pleasures of this world, we who in the beginning allowed ourselves to be addicted to corruptible goods. After all, everything is earth, brothers! And our bodies, and gold, and silver, and sweets, and all the material beauties on earth - everything will go into the earth. Why are we seduced? So our bodies, which we love to delight and decorate so much, will become stinking corpses and turn to earth. Truly, everything is vanity, trifles, dreams of the imagination, children's toys, dolls, which are characteristic of children as entertainment, while they are still driven by sensuality, their minds have not developed, but in old age they are ridiculous, as capable of reasoning and thinking about more important and truly existing objects and should be engaged in business, and not chasing shadows and toys. So, let's give up gluttony and these shiny trinkets, beautifully decorated and deceiving our eyes. Let us direct our gaze to heaven, to the heavenly inheritance, to the Heavenly Father, the Father of spirits. Do not be suspicious in your heart, do not suspect people without reason of stealing, that they are about to steal your sweets or money or something else, or perhaps have stolen it; do not think lowly about people, do not torment yourself with suspicion and predilection for earthly things, for suspicion comes from predilection: where your treasure is, there will your heart be. Cling with your heart to the one God, this never-plundered Treasure, infinite and inexhaustible, and you will always have peace and tranquility, but those who are partial to earthly goods have no peace, for thoughts, like flying birds of prey, almost constantly torment the carnal heart of those who cling to earthly goods. The flesh bores me every day, especially my belly, which plunges me daily into greed, delicacy, satiety, heaviness and relaxation of soul and body, into fornication. There is no need for me, a sinner, a prodigal, a filthy one, to eat coveted dishes, because in me, a prodigal one, they produce lust - and I am seduced by them, and I stretch out my hand to them, and I eat them greedily. As a sacrifice of love for God, sacrifice love for yourself - love for this friend, and at the same time your enemy, the flesh; decide to kill her for God, as Abraham wanted to kill Isaac, his only begotten son, out of love for God, at His command; circumcise, cut off gluttony, intemperance, greed, stinging for sweet foods, money, malice, pride, envy, self-will, stubbornness, disobedience, etc., remembering the words of the Apostle: those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and lusts [Gal. 5, 24]. Continually crucify yourself on your cross, since 91 the passions are constantly at war against you. It’s not a sin, they say, to go to the theater, ride on skating rinks, watch horse racing or play cards. But what will be sinful after this? Dear brother, sister! Don’t you see yourself that because of these activities and carnal, vain pleasures, you are divided between God and them, or what am I saying? – don’t you often give yourself over to them undividedly, completely, and forget God, who saves you, and the soul that you need to save, as being filled with countless sinful habits, habits, and addictions? You are a Christian, called to the heavenly Kingdom, to heavenly life, to spiritual, heavenly wisdom, and you have given yourself entirely to earthly things, to earthly worries, vanities, games, these empty dreams, and because of your addiction to earthly things, you neglect your heavenly soul, about cleansing yourself from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, about knowing God, about loving and honoring Him with all your heart; you neglect prayer, about reading the word of God and the writings of the God-wise saints, father, you remain in a pitiful and destructive spiritual ignorance of God, yourself, your soul, your duties to God and your neighbor, alien to the virtues required of a Christian. It’s not a sin, they say, to go to the theater, skating rinks, or horse racing. How is it not a sin when, because of all this and because of many other vain activities and amusements of life, you forget the only thing you need - pleasing God and the salvation of your soul, and leave the church of God and the God who lives in it? Don’t you know that even innocent things turn into sin for us when we have an addiction to them, for example, food, drink, money, etc., not to mention this vanity, such as theater, skating rinks, racing, card games, etc.? Oh, how is our Christian life falling because of all this and the like? Be mature in mind (1 Cor. 14:20), says the Apostle, but we are wise and stupid, like children, stupid of our own free will, through unpardonable negligence. Prayer is a connection between our rational soul, created in the image and likeness of God, with God and with the mental, spiritual world - Angels and saints; it is a conversation with God and with the beings of the spiritual world, similar to our conversation with the people who live with us and meet with us. Where I should rejoice, there my flesh, that is, the old man, grieves; where one must mourn, one rejoices; where it is necessary not to regret, there he spares, for example, money for the poor; where he needs to be sorry, he does not regret it and lavishes it, for example, on clothes, on delicacies, games, shows; one must feel sorry for a person, but she feels sorry for things intended for a person, for his consumption. The nature of things is fluid, transitory, but he wants them to be eternal, imperishable; they should be considered trash, but he values ​​them as a jewel. I must be the fullness (fulfillment) of Him who fills all in all [Eph. 1:23] and indifferently endure carnal deprivations, for example, deprivation of sweets, sorrow, illness, beatings, etc., so that Christ may dwell in me more and more as I experience bodily deprivations, for the pleasures of the flesh are hostile to Christ: carnal pleasures strongly oppose the love of God and the commandments of God. Our flesh is voluptuous, greedy, insatiable: the more you please it, the more frantic, greedy it becomes, the more it opposes the commandments of God, thinks only about itself, about its own pleasure, and tries to take everything from others, looks askance at everyone who shares its favorite sweets, puts them in nothing, because it highly values the sweets of the flesh and pleasing its flesh and is ready to be at enmity every day because of the same sweets consumed by others. The end of the word: love God with all your heart and your neighbor as yourself, and in everything, as you want people to do to you, do so to them; Consider your flesh and others, like everything material, earthly, all sweets and money, as rubbish, as dust, just as everything really is rubbish, and everything will be dust, everything will turn to earth, and everything will be equal to dust. I count all things as rubbish, that I may win Christ [Phil. 3, 8]. In church prayers, we ask the Lord to grant us and those praying with us prosperity in life, faith, and spiritual reason 92. What is spiritual mind? To understand this, you need to know what the carnal mind is. What is the carnal mind? The definition will be clearer from the examples. The carnal mind considers great things for itself, like life, like some kind of deity, money, wealth, carnal sweets, beautiful clothes, brilliant furnishings of the home, secular distinctions and advantages, games, worldly amusements, and by all means strives for either all of this, or one thing primarily, but does not care about pleasing God and the salvation of its soul and considers this a matter of little importance, which can happen as if by itself, which it leaves to chance or simply the mercy of God, as if God has mercy unconditionally. The spiritual mind considers everything earthly as nothing, all earthly so-called blessings - money, wealth, sweets, despises the splendor and beauty of clothes, the elegant decoration of the home, the decoration of horses and carriages, secular distinctions, games, amusements, considering everything as the vanity of this age, as a dream, as a child's game, unworthy of a rational being and a Christian, destined for immortality and eternal contemplation in the eternal to the glory of God - the Creator of all things; The spiritual mind considers one thing to be its great and primary work on earth - pleasing God, cleansing oneself from all filth of the flesh and spirit (and guiding others to do this) and the salvation of the soul, perishing in sins and many different passions - in pride, contempt, resistance to God, willfulness, stubbornness, malice, envy, covetousness, stinginess, lust and impurity, theft, drunkenness and Ave. The spiritual mind constantly looks at this life as a temporary pilgrimage of a person to the Heavenly Fatherland and remembers, without forgetting, what is required of a wanderer in the future Fatherland, what a wanderer needs to stock up on here, namely: he remembers that virtue is required of him - deeds of love for God and neighbor, spiritual poverty, contrition and crying for sins, meekness and kindness; hunger and thirst for God's truth in the midst of a world full of untruth, mercy, purity of heart; love of peace, or inner peace of the heart, peace with God and neighbors and zeal for the reconciliation of those at war; love of truth and firmness in virtue, patience with reproach, persecution, slander for the name of the Lord. He tries to acquire these virtues and root them in the heart and completely eradicate the passions opposite to them. The spiritual mind considers only one thing great - God and His image on earth, its neighbor, and in every possible way encourages the heart to due reverence for God, to glory and thanksgiving to Him and to love the neighbor as oneself. And he sacrifices everything to love for God and his neighbor, all earthly blessings, especially his heart, his mind, his labors, his bodily health and the strength of his entire being, soul and body. For, having received everything from God, we must give everything to Him or submit to His will and law; The carnal mind considers everything earthly to be great, everything that flatters the flesh, that gives it the means to enjoy, and turns away from everything that is contrary to pleasure, that causes trouble, unnecessary things, sorrow, while the spiritual mind makes the heart rejoice even in sorrows, deprivations, troubles, hardships for Christ, knowing that all this leads to union with Christ, to true, eternal life. This is what the spiritual mind is and what the carnal mind is! Spiritual reason says: I do not want to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world [Gal. 6, 14], and encourages a person to constantly crucify the world, that is, to renounce all its unclean joys and pleasures, all its lusts and lead a life that is difficult, sorrowful, and full of hardships - and the carnal mind says: but I boast in wealth, worldly virtues, cheerful feasts, shows, games and amusements, worldly knowledge in all branches of science, except science - the Law of God, the word God's I boast if I knocked any of my rivals into the mud publicly, destroyed them publicly or in print, if I successfully deceived someone, etc. How many excuses do the enemy have for dislike for one’s neighbor! So, he says, he or she is busy with empty business and does nothing useful, but eats my bread - and inspires enmity towards him or her! Why do you see a bitch in your brother or sister’s eye? Doesn't he have a mind of his own? After all, everyone will give an answer to God for himself and everyone will bear his own burden [Gal. 6, 5]. Do your job, and pray for those who do not, so that the Lord will admonish them to work. How do you do your job? Isn't it careless? Don't you yourself work on different passions? Shouldn't you pray: Lord! Grant me to see my sins and not condemn my brother! Or: Lord! Give me the simple eye and take away the evil eye from me! What is it, really, that you are ready to eat your brother for every sin, for every bitch in his face? Love is long-suffering and covers everything, just as the Lord, in His mercy, covers all our sins. Lack of love, enmity brings out every trifle, every small sin and is ready to punish one’s neighbor for it, but love covers up a multitude of sins, as if it does not even see them. Grant me, Lord, to see my sins and not condemn my brother! The enemy scolds me, deceives me, deceiving me! I should constantly contemplate my sins, my distance from You, my many different passions, constantly pray in the depths of my soul for myself and for others, but I am busy with the sins of others. I committed a grave sin today (January 21, 1866) before the Lord: the poor girl, for annoying me, was, as it seemed to me, hit on the cheek and in her face choked by the Lord Himself, for just as He accepts alms from us in the face of the poor, so He accepts our insolence. God! Have mercy on me, as I have sinned against You - heal my soul! This is what our voluptuousness, our abundant acquisitions, bring us to. Where is my meekness? Where is your lamb in the likeness of the gentle Lamb, the Lord? Books were given for reading: Sidorov's student fourteen books, Joseph - twenty-three, Caroli - three, [...]. Father, archpriest and elder - what sacred titles and the very essence of the matter, for which I must deeply honor my father, Constantine! and sins are a dream, nothing. Remember, Christian, in whose presence you constantly walk - in the presence of the all-good Lord your God, the Most Pure Mother of God, all-good, most pure, meek, humble, in the presence of holy Angels and holy men; remember whose member you are - you are a member of Christ; a member of a body, a member of the body of the Church, which consists of Angels and men, at the head of which is Christ Himself, and then the Head of the mental edifice - the Most Holy Theotokos - and behave holy, meekly, humbly, kindly, like a lamb, patient, chaste, self-controlled, and do not be proud, contemptuous, cruelly violent, insolent in words, a killer, incontinent, wine drinker, unchaste, covetous, covetous, voluptuous, stingy, envious, thief, idle, delicate, suspicious, angry, willful and stubborn; disobedient, unmerciful, unloving, partial and hypocritical; absent-minded and inattentive to yourself, not caring about your sins - but immediately, as soon as you have sinned in anything through imprudence, inattention or passion, immediately repent, take care of the cleansing of your sin, according to the Psalmist: I will proclaim my iniquity, and I will take care of my sin [Ps. 37, 19]. Remember that Christians are Christ’s children, Christ’s members, for whose sins He suffered, and do not judge their sins, do not spare them anything, for everything that you have is Christ’s, not yours; be sociable to everyone, kind to everyone, generous in strength to everyone; Treat everyone peacefully, meekly and with all purity. Try to have peace with everyone and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord [Heb. 12, 14]. Canon of prayer to the Guardian Angel, hymn 8. Prayer Having risen from sleep, I bring the midnight hymn to Ti, the Savior... from the sequence of morning prayers. Disgrace (church glory) - a spectacle; shame, disgrace. Prayer Master, Lover of Mankind, will this coffin really be my bed... from the succession of prayers for the sleep of those who are to come. Antiphon 1st at Matins, tone 4th. Pokoliku (Church Glav.) – because. Second Prayer of the Faithful Packs and many times... from following the liturgy of St. John Chrysostom. You might be interested in: