Дневник 1865–1866

Theater performance program. Talk about alms with [...] and Evgraf; whether to serve everyone, how much to serve. Get Latin and Lutheran Service Books, Lutheran literature in Russian. Try to eat food and drink more bitter or strengthening, and not at all sweet and relaxing, for example sweet tea, prunes, etc. NB. Report to the director that teaching the Slavic language in our gymnasium is not consistent with the goal. The spiritual one judges everything, but no one can judge him (1 Cor. 2:15). Do not drink tea or one glass of light tea - no more. Passion is ignited by tea and sugar. Flee sweets and wines: trouble comes from them, the spilling of fornication in them. To Semgina or Bobkova for a lesson. We love the multi-passionate flesh, but we must hate it for the sake of God and for the benefit of our neighbor. Those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and lusts [Gal. 5, 24]. Whoever wants to follow Me must deny himself, that is, his flesh, and take up his cross... [Mk. 8, 34]. Otherwise, we all have in mind our own carnal benefits and pleasures and want everything to the detriment of our neighbor. Do not burden the memory and, in general, the heads and hearts of students with a lot of materials assigned for study: otherwise they will be paralyzed in all their powers and will lose their desire (willingness) to learn, and this is the scourge of all science. Put too much weight on your horse - you'll have no luck. Look how Jesus Christ and the apostles wisely dealt with their disciples, with what simplicity they conveyed the lofty truths and rules of faith. It pleases the Holy Spirit and us not to place any more burden on you than this necessary... [Acts. 15, 28]. And John the Baptist said to everyone: do not demand anything more than is certain for you [Lk. 3, 13]. Give a little, but force yourself to think, force yourself to act with your mind and heart, with your will or free power. Make a hive for the bees, place it in the meadow - the bees themselves will make the cells, put honey in them, placing it in the correct shapes. Or get silkworms, give them a mulberry tree - and they will spin and weave silk for you. It's the same with children. Just give them a reason for activity, an impetus to develop their abilities, and they will begin to work and develop. Practice essays, give useful books to read. In fact, my father-in-law gave me everything: the place, the rank, the honor, bread and salt, money, and a beautiful apartment, and he gave his daughter for me. In fact, everything I have is his, not mine: he deserves it; he is a native of this place, and I am a stranger. My right to enter his house, his daughter and to enter this place was only that I completed the course at the Academy, although I was among the last. But this was a great gift from God to me, not my merit: I could conveniently not be at the Academy. As for my labors in this place, they are necessary for me: they are my food, my good, my life. Still, the reward for labor from God is a direct gift from God. But what is received freely must be given freely without sparing, for it was not worth my blood, not my bloody sweat. Even bloody? You must lay down your soul for your friends. Oh, self-love! Oh, the beauty of sweets! I work for him for bread. And God still promises me, unworthy, a reward. Force them to make pies from rye flour. Flatbread. Begin teaching in each class with a short biography of a saint or a description of a holiday and reading the Gospel and the Apostle with an explanation of them. Remember the equality of people and honor every person - a beggar, a subordinate, a servant, a relative who lives with you. Write an article about the unity of the human race with the goal of establishing mutual love between people. About the Church, its unity - and hence about the incentives for love. New Testament history is the fulfillment and confirmation (and, so to speak, verification) of the Old Testament. The Old Testament says that man was created in the image of God. New Testament history actually proves this, saying that the Son of God and God Himself accepted human nature and became the God-man and united with people in sincerity. It says that the seed of the woman will erase the head of the serpent [Gen. 3, 15], – in the New the fulfillment of the promise is shown; in the Old Testament there are various representative sacrifices, circumcision, the cruciform actions of Moses, Joshua, etc., a serpent on the banner, in the New - fulfillment; in the Old - prophecies, in the New - fulfillment. Who became human? - Christ God. How should you respect every person? How to be grateful to Christ the Savior, who became poor for our sake! Remembering that an incorruptible, spiritual life like that of an angel awaits you, prepare yourself for incorruption through abstinence, purity, prayer, reading, meditation, and contemplation. The world was still mired in many different lies before the Nativity of Christ, sitting in the land and shadow of death [Matt. 4, 16], that the Popes and Luther and all other heretics introduce human lies into the revealed Christian religion? Christians! Take care of the treasure of faith! You, man, are as white as wheat—be the pure wheat of God, and may you be in the Lord’s barn. By treating a person, by giving a sumptuous dinner in honor of someone, we resist God, because gluttony is disgusting to Him; everything that happens at sumptuous worldly dinners is disgusting to Him, and there there is always drunkenness, music, dancing, cards. Gluttony is a mortal sin. There is nothing more difficult than to give up gluttony. Do your first deed last - and you will please God and your neighbor for good. Give up gluttony, which is in your first place, which controls you, and with God’s help you will correct all your affairs, especially the salvation of yourself and your neighbors. May the Lord help you. Consider it happiness to give alms to a beggar, to treat a person, for who is a person? - the image of God, diminished by less than an angel, a member of Christ, a sheep of the verbal flock of Christ. The flattery of 1 the serpent, satanic, has wrapped itself around our ribs and anointed all our insides, so that we think charmingly, we feel charmingly, we speak, we do, we see charmingly, we hear, we taste, we smell, we touch and feel; we are surrounded by beauty on all sides. Do not dream 3 in your life, that is, do not succumb to the dreams of passions, but be truthful about the Lord, be wise on high. Everything earthly is dust, heavenly blessings are eternal. You are the image of God: cleave to the one God. It is good for me to cleave to God [Ps. 72, 28]. With an addiction to earthly things, the devil strangles us, darkens us, plunges us into shameful captivity and spiritual death. Look at everything earthly as a shadow, as a dream - at the heavenly and spiritual as at reality, as at a non-evening day. Read the funeral chants and canon. I know a lot, but until now I have not learned to eat - not alone, not with people, because I always eat with greed, sinfully, sometimes with a proud eye and an unfed heart. Do not feel sorry for anyone: we have the Heavenly Father, an inexhaustible source and giver of all blessings. Feel sorry for people, rejoice in their contentment or try to ensure their contentment, just as you rejoice about yours, care about yours. The human family: the unity of all. Let them all be one [Jn. 17, 21]. In the main, Old Testament and New Testament history: everything in a person of passion is the Old Testament; Christian virtues, renewal - New Testament. Diversify the teaching in each class, engage in reading, stories, make notes written: first general notes, then each period, then each chapter, and finally each paragraph. The archpriest has lowered his wings and does not at all act in favor of people's morality. Father Matthew too. Me too. God! Give us zeal for You, give us zeal to feed Your sheep. Our sheep are wasted. But we, seeing, do not see. God is the being of beings, or of all creatures, for He created everything out of nothing. All creation is one in Him. Show unquestioning, prompt, willing obedience to the last of the people, to every member of the family. Do not be embittered by those who demand that you perform a certain task, although they are your assistants and speak commandingly. Give up the devil's resistance and disobedience. Love is childishly obedient. We study the Old Testament, New Testament history, the Catechism, worship, the Sacraments, the history of the Church in order to apply knowledge to action, we acquire knowledge for action, we learn in order to do. Is this really what happens? Here's [approximately]: we learned from the Old Testament history that man is the image and likeness of God - do we look at man as the image and likeness of God, do we respect, love him, and treat him with purity? Are we reaching our destination? We know that the world is God’s creation; do we use God’s creations in accordance with their purpose? We know about the fall and corruption of man and about the restoration and renewal of fallen humanity by the Son of God - do we try to be renewed and diligently use all the means given to us by the Lord Jesus Christ for our restoration, renewal, sanctification and salvation? We study the Catechism - do we fulfill it? Are we putting our knowledge to work? About God the Trinity, about the Son of God Jesus Christ, about His incarnation and becoming man, about His suffering, death, resurrection and ascension into heaven and His second coming to judge people? About the Holy Spirit and the Life-Giving Sanctifier, who proceeds from the Father, with the Father and the Son, worshiped and glorified, spoken by the prophets; about the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church, about baptism and other Sacraments, about the resurrection of the dead and the future life? We study worship - do we go to worship more willingly, do we behave more intelligently, more reverently during it, do we understand and love and appreciate it more, do we stand with greater attention? We study the history of the Church - do we treat with great respect and reverence the Head of the Church, the apostles, saints, presbyters, deacons, martyrs, saints or monks, the Holy Scriptures, divine services; Do we have great zeal for preserving the dogmas and rules of the faith in the likeness of the saints, martyrs, and saints; Do we store posts? Do we strictly adhere to Orthodoxy, which the holy fathers, pastors and teachers of the Church so ardently and with such firmness defended and defended as a precious treasure and heritage received from God, as the surest guarantee of the sanctification and salvation of believers? Do we consider non-Orthodox Christian societies to have deviated from truth to lies and do we dismiss them as distorted by vain human wisdom? Do we value our Orthodox faith as a true, intact revelation of God? Do we recognize that the Orthodoxy of our faith, its holiness, its salvific value is justified, confirmed, and constantly revealed by God Himself, glorifying with incorruption and miracles of healing the relics of His holy saints, the holy icons of His Most Pure Mother and other saints? Do we honor icons and relics? Do we store posts? Do we [obey] the shepherds? Do we honor monasticism? Our textbooks are mostly beautiful in form, architectural decoration without content, without life. But you need the very content, the core, the fruit itself, life. Compare our worship step by step, all its prayers, litanies, hymns with Lutheran and Anglican - how little you will find in common between both: in those [...] the connection with the spiritual world, with the heavenly Church, with the Mother of God, Angels and saints is broken, Lutherans and Anglicans do not have a single prayer, not a single song; All communication with the dead is severed; they are not prayed for. In church they sit before God, like in school: there is no respect for the church and no idea about the church. The pastor does not have on himself, as in the Orthodox Church, external signs of the grace of God, which equips the Orthodox priest from head to toe and is expressed symbolically by his various vestments and his actions. The pastor is a simple school teacher in mourning clothes, which he should wear as a monument to the sad falling away of the Lutherans from the Church. In the church they do not have three departments, reminiscent of the three tribes - heavenly, earthly and underworld, or even two, reminiscent of the twofold division of believers in the primal Church - into the clergy and the people. Let my heart be lifted up by fear towards You, the Word, and let nothing sweeten me from worldly beauties to weakness 4 . It would be necessary to truly prohibit the publication of many secular magazines and newspapers or point them in a better direction. Many secular books should be burned or thrown into water, so that Christians do not cleave to them and because of them do not turn away from the Gospel and from church worship. Everything earthly - rubbish and droppings, feces - all the sweets, all the fruits, all the cookies, jams that so tempt carnivores. And our body itself is feces, for after death it turns into stinking feces, and only those few have an imperishable and fragrant cypress like cypress, who in their earthly life despised the flesh and all sweets, lived in fasting and prayer, by God and in God, clinging to Him alone with all their hearts. Everything earthly is a delight due to the influence of the enemy: the flesh is a delight, food and drink is a delight, clothes are a delight, houses are a delight, the decorations in them are a delight, things in the house are mostly a charm, secular books are mostly a charm, human movements, receptions, manners are a charm, all life is a charm. You, Christ God, are the only truth, You are the way and the truth and the life [John. 14:6], in You is our peace, our joy, our life, our light, our strength, our bliss. Your Church is the truth, and everything that is in it is the truth: its worship, its statutes, rules or laws, its Sacraments and rituals. That Christian Orthodox faith leads its members to its final goal - sanctification, incorruption and salvation, and through its sanctified children, as through living temples of the Holy Spirit, it gives life and saves others who have not yet been sanctified. Those same Christian faiths that do not lead to sanctification, incorruption and salvation are not Orthodox, having arbitrarily separated from unity with the Orthodox Church. These are the confessions of the Roman Catholic, Protestant, Anglican, Armenian and others. Announce at the council to the disciples that neglecting the sign of the cross and worshiping God during divine services and home prayers will be considered a crime; 2) make tutors persons belonging to the Orthodox confession and 3) instill in tutors that they strictly monitor the students’ compliance with these sacred rites of faith; 4) to punish those guilty of non-compliance with the rites of faith, remembering that the most severe, immediate punishment for this will be a sacrifice pleasing to God. Let us not tolerate, like the Old Testament high priest Eli, the outrages of our children in the church of God, lest we ourselves perish, like this weak father, lest they also perish for their negligence about the most sacred duties of faith. Ungrateful! My flesh is an unclean, stinking rag, stinking feces - despise it, do not care about it, do not think about it. I think about God alone. God! Arrange everything for the good of me and my household and my friends 5 who live outside my house. Avoid satiety and delicacy in every possible way: it seriously harms the soul, connecting it with the enemies of salvation - demons and alienating it from God and neighbor. With satiety and delicacy, the enemy enters the heart and cools the soul towards God and neighbor, makes it hypocritical, double-minded, internally powerless - and the word of a gourmet person is powerless, it even irritates others if the gourmet teaches others. Indignation at prosphyra for unkind prosphyra hides, firstly, greed for bread, and secondly, anger at one’s neighbor - to despise bread and love one’s neighbor. What is my problem? When my sweets, rather than God’s, are consumed, I sit like some kind of animal, and I feel sorry, and I get angry, and I am not my own... But isn’t everything rubbish? Isn't man the image of God? So the storm of passions passed by the grace of the Lord. Punishing us for our addiction to earthly goods with heartaches and sorrows and illnesses, the Lord instills in us that our bliss is not here, not on earth, that we were created and live here not for the blessings of here, but for the blessings of heaven, that the earth is the place of our exile and the seat of Satan and his hasty power, painfully igniting in us passions for earthly pleasures and thereby intensifying to alienate us forever from God and the enjoyment of the eternal blessings of the Kingdom of God; that we must and righteously cleave only to God - the Source of our life and bliss and all blessings - temporary and eternal, spiritual and material; that we must philosophize on high, where Christ sits at the right hand of God [Col. 3:1], for this is why He came down from heaven to earth, in order to raise us to heaven; that the earth and everything earthly should be considered as rubbish, when we are promised such benefits, and, moreover, eternal ones (the eye has not seen them, nor the ear heard them, and the heart has not breathed them into man (1 Cor. 2:9)), for the enjoyment of eternal spiritual blessings. We must thank the Lord that He punishes us for our carnal passions and is jealous of us with paternal zeal, so that we may not be covetous or covetous to strangers forever, 6 but may be pure wheat, destined to be gathered into the barn (truly barn) of heaven. So, let us leave the earth to the devil and the sons of this age, and we ourselves, as true Christians, will flow to heaven by the way of the cross. From the evening before early mass, do not go on a visit or have fun, do not drink wine, do not eat much, and just refresh yourself a little. God! Observe and preserve, and forgive me the past sin. God! I thank You, for You heard me, praying to You in my heart during the meal, and You delivered me from the overwhelming passion of pitying Your neighbor for Your blessings and evil zeal, and You pacified me, and You enlightened Your face on Your servant. God! Save me everlastingly 7 (January 22 days, 1866) May it be for all. God bless! To the glory of the Triune God - Father and Son and Holy Spirit. Hallowed be Thy name, Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, as it is in heaven and on earth. August 24, 1865. Heavenly King, Comforter, Soul of truth, Who is everywhere and fulfills everything, Treasure of good things and Giver of life, come and dwell in us, and cleanse us from all filth, and save, O Good One, our souls. Holy of holies! Have mercy on me. The church of God is holy; and this church is you (1 Cor. 3:17). We are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones [Eph. 5, 30]. Christ is the Head of the Church. All members of the Church must be holy. Worthy communion of the Holy Mysteries of the Body and Blood of Christ decisively revives, cleanses sins and heals all illnesses. Oh, the wondrous wealth of Christ, interceded by Him for us sinners! We, Lord, we, as you said to the storm and the troubles of the water: be silent, stop. And the wind died down, and there was a great silence [Mk. 4, 39], - thus you can command the great fire: stop burning our dwellings - and it will stop. All the elements are contained in Your hand and do Your all-powerful will. Honor the servant Catherine as a mother, and Anna as a sister, love them in every possible way and please them in word and deed. Indeed, Catherine is like a mother, and Anna is like a sister: they serve, feed, and wash us. O hero of heroism, bless, and help, and accomplish 8! Hungering and thirsting for righteousness - righteousness, correction [Matt. 5, 6]. If you have sinned, immediately become kindled with the desire to immediately correct yourself. Since Christ clothes us with His righteousness in Baptism and Communion, Repentance and Blessing of Anointing, those who hunger and thirst for righteousness are those who thirst for Baptism (catechumen), the communion of the Body and Blood of the Lord, Repentance and Blessing of Anointing (the sick). Prayer also justifies a Christian, which means that those who hunger and thirst for prayer live by unceasing prayer. Do not spare anything for others - which is the commandment? First, second or tenth? You cannot serve God and mammon [Matt. 6, 24], to please the belly and at the same time God. Do not eat coveted bread, fast if you want to please the Creator. Walk continually with your heart in truth and do not dream in your soul. What is truth? The truth is that God is all-good, all-knowing, all-powerful, all-wise, all-present, righteous, unchangeable, all-pleasant, all-blissful, and that He must be loved with all our hearts; that man is His image and likeness, and he must be loved as himself, and all the sins committed by man must be attributed to his free will and demonic dreams, for they are really a dream, a ghost of the spirits of lies and should be despised and abandoned to our neighbors, and because of them we should not fall into new demonic dreams - anger, irritability, contempt and arrogance against our neighbors, envy, disobedience and other similar sins, but to pity him all the more, the more he falls into the depths of evil, and to pray for him, and turn him to the path of truth and goodness, and not to please himself, not to please his flesh, so that it would be good, calm, pleasant. We must eradicate the root of evil in ourselves - self-love and pride. And at the instantaneous feeling of anger, pride, envy, stinginess, greed, satiety, disobedience, etc., look at the devil himself and hate not the people to whom these passions are directed, but these passions themselves and their culprit, the devil, and your corrupted heart, or your flesh. Sweets are a demonic sting. The devil inspires their neighbor to feel sorry for them, for whom all the sweets of earth and heaven were created by God. Because of sweets, enmity towards one's neighbor occurs. It’s great who hated and rejected sweets. It is wonderful who has loved spiritual sweets: the word of God, prayer, virtue, spiritual conversation. God! Thank You for Your salvation! In the word there is an image of the Trinity: thought, word, deed, just as in the Trinity the Father is the mind, the Son is the word, the Spirit is the performer. Require students to understand words and deeds. A word without reason and without action is nothing, an empty sound. Don’t be partial to anything, don’t be offended by anyone. Always have cordiality and an abundance of cordiality towards your neighbor, just as you wish this for yourself from others. Do not spare anything for anyone, for the Lord is an endless belly and the most generous Provider of all; If you regret it, you will hurt yourself and deprive yourself of the opportunity to do business for a considerable time, for stinginess is the poison of the serpent, poisoning the health of the soul and depriving it of peace, light and freedom. Stinginess is madness and a dream of the soul and blasphemy against the generous and providential Creator. Reckon all earthly things as rubbish. Understand to whom you should cleave, what blessings you should desire, and strive with all your might. – You need to cleave to Christ, you need to seek eternal blessings and indescribable beauties and pleasures. Everything here is unworthy of you, for everything is coarse and perishable, and the main thing is that through everything earthly the enemy is cunning and, through addiction to earthly things, strives to cleave to us, to reign in us, so that those who bind themselves to worldly lusts and pleasures become associated and communicate with the devil. Remember that we are all one sinful body, and do not be upset or angry with anyone, knowing that the same weaknesses and passions that exist in your neighbor also exist in you. If you are a teacher, admonish those who sin with meekness, remembering that they commit sins out of delusion of mind and heart. Love and meekness and a prudent word are an excellent cure for any mental illness. However, meekness does not exclude severity. Enjoyment of earthly sweets, special predilection, love for them is contrary to the Spirit of God, for we, as Christians, a chosen race, royal priesthood and human renewal, must walk in the spirit and not indulge the flesh in lust, we must love the milk of words and unflattering milk, so that we may grow in it for salvation (1 Pet. 2: 2, 9, etc.). All good is great [Gen. 1, 31], everything created: people, animals, birds, fish, insects, reptiles, worms, plants, heaven and earth and everything that is on them is good, that is, pure, beautiful, harmless. After the word of God, attribute the greatest authority to the church, to the sayings of the church, or to the holy fathers, as to the words of God. When you see pride, or anger, or envy, or stinginess, or disobedience towards your neighbor stirred up in your heart, fight against yourself and your enemy the devil, and not against your neighbor, who is the image of God, although he bears the wounds of sins; remember the diversity of human characters and manners and do not be offended by their strangeness and unpleasantness for you. Constantly be hostile to yourself and your evil inclinations, and not to your neighbor - always love him, according to Scripture. Remember the ancient dreamer, who intensifies in us to invest his dreams incessantly, now openly, now secretly. Sister Anyuta canonized you as a brother, although you are instead of her father - well, thank her for that. She fulfilled the word of the Savior: you are all brethren [Matt. 23, 8]. For our breadwinner is the Lord God, He alone is our Father, and we are all brothers and sisters. Sacred name brother, sister. How can you disdain them? But we are not worth the name of our father, because we do not have fatherly feelings. God! Have mercy on me, now I feel with horror that the thought of evil has been diligently upon me since my youth and does not cease to chill me every day, every hour. Dry up the sources of evil in me. We respond to sin with sin, the damned: to the pride of our neighbor with pride, to malice with malice, to resentment with resentment, instead of responding to pride with humility, to malice with love, to resentment with meek patience. Sometimes it happens that it seems to us that our neighbor is proud of us, and we let him respond in the same way, and so we raise all our heads, like geese and roosters. And we are also called rational beings, and also brothers, and also children of the Heavenly Father! Oh, how sin disfigures us! Are our sins and passions not wounds of our souls? Isn't it madness of the soul? So, if you are healthy, show your humility to the sick with pride, let him see in you that he is sick with this illness. So it is with other sins. And if he sees pride in you, he will not recognize his weakness and will think that he is in a healthy state, because in you, who has the image of reason and truth in the law, he sees the same thing and, by the commonality of his illness, everyone is convinced of its rightness and naturalness. And in fact, there are many who, sinning a certain sin, for example, although pride and arrogance over people unloved and despised, think that they are doing what they should and even boast about their arrogance: he or she speaks with arrogance, and I even more. Oh, crazy ones! Do we rise before our fellow members? Is it before your own flesh and blood? For we are one body of many (1 Cor. 10:17). And what do we gain through this? – We destroy the soul, we please the devil, we sadden the Lord and His Most Pure Mother and all the heavenly powers and the holy people of God, who are members of the one Church of Christ, just like us. This is how, through our inattention to ourselves, the enemy robs us. Enlighten us, Lord, with Your grace! The sins of one's neighbor should not serve as a reason for anger towards one's neighbor, but for correcting him in a spirit of meekness. Especially with those at home, there is no need to quarrel because of their sins; we must maintain unchanging love for everyone, for enmity and malice are the greatest evil. And this is cunning and malice - to be embittered against those who commit sins. What a person needs most is the grace of God in the heart, cleansing sins, enlightening, pacifying, spreading our soul; A person needs food, drink, clothing, material light, air, housing or shelter. But what is all this for him if there is no grace of God in his heart, if his soul is empty because of sins that defile, tear apart and weaken the center of our life - the heart and entire being of man, if his soul is naked of virtues and covered with the stinking abrasive of passions, if his soul is darkened by passions, if his soul is stuffy in the clouds of passions, if his soul is not overshadowed by the blood of God? For the flesh, the less food and drink and the simpler they are, the better, the stronger and purer the spirit. Meanwhile, the sin-loving, corrupted flesh seeks more, more refined things, strives, strives to eat and sleep more, more luxuriously, and therefore it suffers and plunges the soul into relaxation and passion. Do not trust your flesh, a flattering, insidious dreamer. Run away from balls, evenings, dinner parties. Everything that is good for us is the Lord: in the midst of darkness there is light, in the midst of cramped space there is space, in the midst of sorrow there is joy, in the midst of languor there is peace. Conduct yourself this way with your comrades and with everyone in general, so that it can be seen from the outside that you respect and love every person as a member, as a brother, in a word, so that true brotherhood can be seen. All of you are brethren [Matt. 23, 8]. Brethren of this holy church... He who loves God strives to be a saint, he in every possible way and incessantly rakes himself from carnal lusts that war on the soul, but he who does not love God does not care about this. Be holy, for holy am I the Lord your God [Lev. 19, 2]. One must have greed not for earthly goods, but for heavenly ones; greed for earthly things is a consequence of the sinful corruption of our heart, it is the flattery of the serpent nesting in our heart. Be wise above, it is said, not earthly [Col. 3, 2]. We are short-sighted, spiritually blind: we see only what is under our noses, and we do not see, we do not want to see, what is further; we see time - and do not imagine eternity, this terrible reality of the future Judgment and eternal torment; We see the beauty and sweetness of bodily blessings - and we do not imagine how soon both these blessings and this body, for which we are so worried, will soon become decay, dust, earth, which will be trampled on by passers-by, and food for worms. We do not imagine this, although all this will be real, but we imagine only their instant beauty, charm, momentary enjoyment of them. It is an especially grave sin for a priest, who so often eats the heavenly bread - our Lord Jesus Christ, to have greed and addiction to corruptible food and corruptible sweets: he must despise them, use them for need, but not for pleasure, and be careful in every possible way so that his heart does not become accustomed to them, having loved them. His heart should only love Christ and those whom Christ loved, laying down His soul for them, shedding His blood for them - people, these verbal sheep of His. Do you love Me?.. feed My sheep [Jn. 21, 15–17]. To the extent that we love to please our flesh, we grow cold towards our neighbor; the more we delight her with dishes, the more bitter our neighbor becomes who demands our help; The more we warm our flesh with hot, pleasant drinks - tea, coffee, wine, the more we cool off towards God and our neighbor. This is confirmed by experience. This is how dangerous it is to caress your flesh, this is how necessary it is to crucify it with passions and lusts! Judas loved money - and hated it and betrayed the Lord of glory and sold the Priceless One for thirty pieces of silver; Adam and Eve loved their flesh, their pleasure, and despised the Lord, His life-giving commandment; we love money, sweets, clothes, tobacco, rich rooms, card games, clubs, theaters, feasts - and what comes of it? We despise, we give over to hunger, cold, illness, ugliness (regarding clothes) of the Lord Himself in the person of the poor, His lesser brothers, we pity not them, but money, this soulless dust, earthly sweets, with which we ourselves are satiated, sometimes we pity a piece of bread. † † coldness towards faith, towards the Church, towards God, towards worship, we are careless about the salvation of the soul. We all love tea, coffee: pay attention to these drinks in relation to the Christian life. According to the law of the flesh (sinful), the more we drink sweets, especially hot tea, the more our soul should cool more and more in love for God and neighbor, unless, of course, through fervent prayer we restore our ardor for God and neighbor. Isn't that what actually happens? Look, with the spread, with the increasing need for tea, alms have become scarcer and less frequent - everyone needs tea, sugar, coffee; a cab driver or a worker are asking for an increase in excess of the proper pay for what? - for tea. Everyone has a passion for tea, and it’s even worse because we don’t even consider it a passion—there’s no mention of our neighbor. I said this so that from this example it can be seen how strong everyone’s passion for tea is, and how everyone is concerned about the empty pleasure of the flesh, and not about the love of God and neighbor, and how, with the intensification and multiplication of carnal needs, our concern for our neighbors has fallen. Hence it is necessary to moderate or cut off carnal lusts, such as tea and tobacco, which consume so much of our love, its energy for God and neighbor, and our labor or free money. Old Testament and New Testament history is all about man. I thank You, Lord Jesus Christ, my God, with all my grateful heart, for by Your almighty power You often restore me from the death of sin. Look at the weaknesses of damaged human nature with regret, and not with bitterness and bitterness (blood), cover them with love, correct them with love and a spirit of meekness. They don’t love me, you say how I will love such and such. Love them also according to the Savior’s commandment, for if you love only those who love you, then what gratitude do you have for that? For even sinners and pagans love those who love them [Lk. 6, 32]. And you learn to crucify your flesh with passions and lusts and go against your corrupt nature. If you want to enjoy the gifts of God (which are the gifts of His love for us) for the benefit of soul and body, with peace of mind and joy, be simple-hearted and generous when using them, share them willingly with your neighbors, for example, with freely visiting guests, with strangers, the beggars and the needy, and relatives, especially with you living or visiting; receive and treat them and generally serve them with an open heart and face and heartfelt love. Then the Lord will bless you and your deeds and increase your wealth, and the Kingdom of God will be inseparable from you. If you see in your neighbor the weakness of dislike or enmity towards you and your neighbor, do not become mutually embittered, lest you add flame to flame, but from the heart take pity on him and sigh for him to God, for without Him we cannot do anything [Jn. 15:5], and we cannot think good from our hearts (2 Cor. 3:5); So, sigh to Him, I say, to God, and the Lord will hear the prayer of your love and will dispose your brother’s heart to love you and yours to your neighbor; even if this does not happen, then you yourself will fulfill the commandment of love and will be pure in your deed. Remember that enmity and all passions are the great weaknesses of our sin-damaged being, and we all have a strong need for heavenly help, for the mercy of the doctor of our souls and bodies - the Lord Jesus Christ. You yourself are not free from these passions and you know from experience how weak you are when they act in you, how you then need the condescension of others, their affection, how you want to do the opposite of them, for example, love your enemy, but you cannot and how you then need the mercy and help of God and the prayer of your neighbors for you! Transfer all this from yourself and onto others, and as you want people to do to you, do so to them. We must look at all faces and things directly, without suspiciousness and prejudice, so that the enemy does not take advantage of our weakness and confuse and offend us. Let everything with you be done with love (1 Cor. 16:14) - teaches the Apostle; do everything with the spirit of love - the very remarks and reprimands, without the slightest bitterness of irritation and anger, and see that you do everything for the glory of God, and not to please your flesh. All the laws of the Lord, a lover of mankind, are love, and He punishes lovingly. But all carnal aspirations are malice; do not believe a hair of your flesh. My flesh is the hellish network of Belial 10, all woven from various sins, a hellish cave, a devil’s laboratory - crucify it, trample it, and trample love, addiction for my flesh. We have a habit of doing charity not entirely purely - according to our own taste and view of things, and not according to the will of God, for example, doing good to those we like, and not doing good to those we don’t like, or doing charity in such a way that from charity we derive pleasure in advance for our own flesh and blood, and then deliver some benefit to our neighbors. Since this charity is the product of a carnal man, and not the fruit of faith in Christ and Christian love, then such benefactors will not receive reward from the Lord, for good deeds must be done with faith in Christ, who gives us everything richly for enjoyment (1 Tim. 6:17), with a pure motive, and those receiving benefits must be viewed as members of Christ, as His lesser brethren. May the disposition of your heart always be towards God and the image of His glory - man, and not towards the corruptible and fleeting blessings of this world, for it is impossible to work for God and mammon [Matt. 6, 24], for God is the source of our life and the giver of all good things, the Creator of heaven and earth. Accept the gratitude of your relatives and your neighbors in general for bread and salt, money, clothes, etc. with humility and a sense of your unworthiness, for these are God’s gifts, not ours, - write to God for all thanksgiving 11: He is an ever-flowing source, and you yourself do not deserve, are not worth the gifts of His goodness, you are evil, sinful and sinful. Another conviction from experience is that sweet tea and bread only pamper the womb, and do not strengthen it. It is not sweets that should be consumed, but strong, vegetable, sour, salty, bitter foods - sweets only occasionally, and then in very small quantities. It is good to strengthen hearts with grace, and not with foods from which those who engage in them did not benefit, says the Apostle [Heb. 13, 9]. Look not at the beginning, but at the end of all bodily pleasures, at what they subsequently produce in the body, what they lead to, in what cramped position they place the soul and body, how they cool oneself towards God and one’s neighbor, what kind of addiction they produce for perishable goods and the fleeting pleasures of this age, how they distract our hearts from eternal goods and drown out the memory of them and the feeling of them. In general, we must look at the end of everything earthly, everyday, worldly, everything that does not go beyond the grave. If you look at it this way, you will not find any benefit in sweets, but harm, great harm for the soul and body, because our sin-loving flesh is greedy for sweets and is conveniently seduced by them, often reaches the point of excess when consuming them, and from addiction to them grows cold towards God and neighbor. So, look at the end of all worldly things, then you will not be deceived, then you will consider sweets no better than rubbish. With the pleasure of food, the darkness of demons enters our hearts, darkening and weakening our soul and body. Therefore, you need to eat food very carefully, only for needs, when you feel hungry, and not for cooling off and pleasure, and not when the body is still full and strong from the food consumed a few hours ago. It is good to strengthen hearts by grace and not waste [Heb. 13, 9], because food, if consumed slightly in excess, relaxes the spirit and body. A good person, eating and drinking sweet things, rejoices that others eat and drink sweet things with him or another, for he loves others as he loves himself, but an evil, envious and stingy person is annoyed and embittered that others eat and drink sweet things in the same way as him, and he is like the devil, an evil envier of primitive human bliss. But You, Lord, created man for eternal bliss, and the earthly sweets that You gave to man for enjoyment are images of the endless sweetness prepared for those who love You and each other in eternity. Do not be despondent, sad and gloomy while sitting at the meal, but have a cheerful heart and a pleasant appearance, rejoicing in the love and mercy of God, which is always extended to us sinners, nourishing, delighting and satiating us and in eternity preparing for our enjoyment blessings which no eye has seen, nor ear has heard, nor has entered into the heart of man (1 Cor. 2:9). Have a fatherly and brotherly spirit. Why did the man, the owner of the house, sitting at the table, suddenly change his face? Because he envied in his heart the sweetness of the person living with him and for some unknown reason he became full (unless he was seduced by himself), and became embittered against him due to the action of his corrupt, voluptuous heart, and so, like Cain, he became sad and his face fell and his tongue was tied, and he cannot look directly into people’s faces, he is afraid to raise his eyes; he is darkened, his speech is incoherent, because sin has confused him. But whose is everything we have? – God: all works of His mercy and bounty. Oh, how with our stinginess we anger the Father of bounties, who created and gives us everything abundantly for pleasure, the holy, blessed one, who created us for holiness and bliss - the Father, filled with love and who created us for mutual love. Why doesn’t a virgin person love anything else? Because the unloved one lost his virginity long ago, corrupted himself, desecrated himself, and perhaps still carries his defilement within himself. Virginity, as if sensing the corruption of the heart and flesh of a non-virgin, naturally repels it and, in a feeling of noble pride, does not succumb to it; Seeing his pride, he exalts his dignity and does not bow his head before him. Souls have instincts. He who has corrupted himself must humble himself before all virginity, especially children and girls, and look at them with respect; especially to humble yourself, repent and cry about your corruption before the One Ever-Virgin, who kept Her soul and body in purity and perfect holiness - the Virgin Theotokos, the Mother of Him who came to renew our nature corrupted by sin. About the vain game of man. We all play at something: some for food and drink (delicacy and satiety), instead of using it only for existence and strengthening; who wears clothes (fashion and pomp), instead of covering their body decently and warmly; who into his temporary home, decorating it according to all his whims; who in their sacred life-giving members, instead of preserving in every possible way this pledge of life and reverence before the Creator of men, who entrusted to us the seeds of human lives and false and life-giving doors, thanking Him for the priceless gift of life, which He bestowed by His only unapproachable mercy; who plays with money, having given himself over to covetousness and having turned his heart away from God, from the Church of God, from the word of God, from eternal salvation; who in differences are temporary, chasing after them as something important and significant and forgetting the honor of the high title; some in cards, some in dancing, some in words, wasting it in vain and in vain, or even worse - corrupting the souls of their brothers with it and for this corruption receiving a worthy reward from Belial - money for which Judas betrayed the Lord. So, we are all vain, all on a dangerous and disastrous path. Where is our love known? At the table. Where else? Or when? When they ask us for alms or money and we give. We should despise flesh and food as rubbish and stench, but we despise our neighbor, are angry with him - in reverse. Black clothing is mourning for sin and the fact that they have angered their Most Merciful Heavenly Father. Sadness for Bose. The leather belt is in memory of the leather garments in which sin dressed us, and that through sin we have become like foolish beasts - we who are created in the image and likeness of God. Think that God the Father gave His Only Begotten Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, as food and drink to people, and compare this with what you give to Christian people - perishable food and drink, given by God and indicated to all of us in common. What are your perishable food and drink compared to the heavenly bread? - Nothing. So, value the person who eats and drinks from you and yours - there is nothing more priceless than him: God Himself gave Himself to him for food and drink. Rejoice when you give alms or give food and drink to strangers, relatives, acquaintances, and guests who come to you. Look who you accept - members of Christ, Christ Himself. Create for Me... You are hungry, and give Me food... I was strange, and knew Me [Matt. 25: 40, 35]. Oh, if only I could stop drinking tea! There is no benefit to it. The flesh points angrily at the other and says: he eats and drinks very sweetly and eats and drinks a lot, but she herself would like to constantly please herself and eat and drink a lot, and it turns out that it’s all a matter of envy, and not that a person cares about the benefit of another. Do not trust one bit of the carnal, the old man - the deceitful, slanderer, malicious, proud and contemptuous, 12 envious and stingy. Do the opposite to him. Sweets separate us from God and from our neighbors, and we are addicted to them. I don’t need them, I don’t need them at all, tell me, let others, whom they occupy, whom they seduce, use them as much as they want, but I don’t need them. True love does not spare anything precious or sweet for one’s neighbor, not even one’s own life, but dislike spares every little thing. Smoking tobacco and other weaknesses are external: human sins are an infection, the poison of the devil; everything that surpasses [from the outside] is accidental, but what is essential in a person is his creation in the image and likeness of God, and for his sins one must pity and pray for their healing, and the image of God, installed in him, must always be revered and loved. Relics - from the word to be able, to have strength (might, strength): strong, powerful, they show miraculous, healing power on people and demons and were able to overcome corruption and death, overcame corruption, death and became above them. Confusion in church during a divine service or in someone's house in the presence of a strong, rich, learned, noble person is a devilish, annoying delusion, like the delusion of pleasures, pride, malice, envy, adultery, and love of money. Despise this beauty and impute nothing to it. The enemy, in the subtlest and most cunning way, works to destroy our love for God and our neighbor through worldly things, seducing us with worldly things. All my hope is in You (the Holy Spirit), 13 that is, we must rely in everything, hope on the Holy Spirit, as the life-giving Lord (giving life to everyone), and not on food, drink, money, on rich, noble and powerful people, which is very offensive to the Holy Spirit and is true idolatry. Isn’t that how we often rely in life on money, food and drink, feel sorry for them for our neighbors who need them and tremble over them, as if our whole life, all our happiness lies in them? With an unclean snout, an unclean mind and heart, I dare, accursed and daring 14, to touch the holy relics and the animal tree. Forgive my repentance, Lord, and teach me to revere the holiness of Your relics. Sweets and money are harmful rubbish, burdensome for the soul and body; They alienate from God and neighbor and create a strong obstacle to the salvation of the soul, they wage a strong war on the soul. Grant me, Lord, the grace to rise above this corruption and my very body. Explain the real meaning of worship. Describe the accessories of the church: [throne, holy icons, their inscription, clothes, the meaning of their names]... What does the liturgy teach us? - To lay down one’s soul, or one’s life, for one’s friends, just as the Lord Jesus Christ laid down His entire life for our salvation, suffered and died for our salvation. Be kind to the ungrateful and evil, and by the grace of God stand above all evil, pitying those who err and praying to God for them. With this you will defeat evil. Do not make love for God and your neighbor dependent on substance, that is, do not lose love for your neighbor because of anything material, do not grow cold towards him, do not despise him, do not be embittered towards him, be unchanging in love. And why should we deprive ourselves of this priceless treasure of the heart - love, why should we allow anger into our hearts - this all-destructive poison of the hellish serpent? Isn't it crazy to be angry about anything? Is it not madness to combine with the enemy and leave Christ, the source of Life? It is easy to humble yourself before the humble - humble yourself before the proud, before the subordinate, before a member of the family, before the servant for the sake of the Lord, who has taken on the form of a servant 15, and for the sake of the fact that every neighbor is the image of God and a member of Christ. It is easy to be kind to a good person - be kind to an evil person, again for the sake of the Lord, who took upon Himself our sins and our weaknesses, remembering that we are all evil by nature, and forbearing in our neighbors a common weakness, a common mental illness, to which you yourself are not alien. It is easy to be generous to someone who benefits you, who serves you, who is generous to you - be generous to someone who does not bring you any benefit, to someone who does not serve you and does not want to serve and is stingy for you - again for the sake of the Lord, Who constantly serves us, who are careless about fulfilling His holy commandments, who constantly grieve Him, for the sake of the Lord, Who is good to the ungrateful and evil, generous to the stingy and self-loving, for you are His image, His member. It is easy to be cheerful and show a bright, friendly face to people when your heart is cheerful - but show people a bright and friendly face even when your soul is not happy, when your heart forces you to gloom and some kind of savagery, rudeness, malice, overcoming your sinful nature and remembering the words of the Apostle: Rejoice always (1 Thess. 5:16). You have everything (after God) from your father (father-in-law) - a wife, a place, a rank (almost), a home, a salary, food, drink, clothing - and you already have displeasure against him and his daughter, through some terrible seduction of malice and pride, are cold towards him, unkind, insincere, breathing disgust and contempt. God save you. What is it? What kind of ugliness, what kind of wildness? You get everything from them, not they from you. Crawl at their feet, caress them, love them earnestly. Take a false look. Saturation turns into a disease of the soul and body and makes a person greedy, stingy, unsociable, sickly, boring, lethargic. The science of living in a family and society is completely different from the science of school and books. Life is a special book, a difficult book that requires great skill, ingenuity, faith, willpower, and self-sacrifice. Remember, man, that your natural will is completely contrary to the will of your Heavenly Father, and reject your will, no matter how hard and painful it is for you, and decide once and for all to firmly follow the will of your Heavenly Father, indicated in the word of God and in the voice of conscience; do and constantly do violence to yourself, constantly conquer yourself, break your will, trample on it, despise it - ask the Lord for this, say: Lord, help me trample on my will, teach me to do Your will. I can’t do anything without You. My wife, out of love for me, does not notice my weaknesses in me and covers everything, but I notice the slightest weaknesses in her and often breathe contempt and bitterness towards her because of them. God, have mercy on me. I don’t know how, I haven’t learned until now, the accursed one, to pray to the God of my life: neither to ask as I should, sincerely of the Lord, nor to thank Him for his constant and greatest blessings, nor to glorify His goodness, wisdom, omnipotence, immutability - I am still ignorant in the matter of prayer, although I always pray. I don’t even know how to live until now. Hitherto I am some kind of moral savage, for hitherto wild, absurd, insane, ugly passions are rampant in me and distort the image of my soul and body. Lord, my Creator and Savior, have mercy on me! Quite often, especially in bad weather, a person is prone to melancholy, hypochondria and anger at others - therefore one must be lenient with his weakness and not irritate him in any way and, if he says something rudely, forgive him: he himself realizes that he did something wrong and will be defeated by the condescension of others towards him. In general, evil conveniently disappears from the opposite good, like snow from the spring sun, like wax from fire, and this is the wisdom of a Christian to overcome evil with good. He is patient with love, he is merciful... he does not envy, he does not boast of love, he is not proud, he does not act outrageously (1 Cor. 13:4-5). Our holiness and eternal life were granted to us by the Son of God, who was incarnate, suffered, died, buried and resurrected and ascended into heaven - and no one cares about the holiness of life, no one strives for eternal life, we all live in sinful, passionate corruption, we all cling to the earth and its blessings. Our condition is sad! We have despised the Gospel, the words of the evangelists and apostles and the Lord Himself, our God and Savior Jesus Christ. Oh heart, heart, heart, how delicate you are, how we need to take care of you, so that for one minute you do not cling to anything earthly. You are a heavenly thing on earth, you are the container of life, God – the belly of all. The hellish snake inspires me, forces me to hate, to bite my neighbor, pours into me the poison of malice - but how can I hate my neighbor, who is the image of God, although he bears the sores of sins, whom the Lord Himself commanded me to love as myself? In the simplicity of your heart, humble yourself before everyone, be like a gentle child and love everyone as you love yourself, do not give room for wickedness in your heart, remember that you and your neighbor are one, one especially in Jesus Christ. Sometimes one kind word from our enemy - that is, either against whom we are at enmity, considering him our enemy, or who is at enmity against us - is enough to turn our hearts in favor of him and make peace with him in the heart and calm down regarding him. Therefore, if you see someone angry with you, do not hesitate to say a word of kindness and greetings to him, as brothers should, and do not live in enmity with him, for it is from the devil. A kind word will now soften his heart, for such is the power of love. Good Anna Konstantinovna: how she rejoices at the joy of her relatives and quickly tells me her joy, but I, corrupt (truly), and proud, and envious, and evil, do not rejoice. Don't look at other people's opinions of you. The Lord pronounced judgment long ago on this human opinion of us. Men who walk above do not lead 16 [Lk. 11, 44]... For who among men knows what is in a man, except the spirit of man that dwells in him? [Cor. 2, 11]. Respect in your sister the image of God, a fellow member in Christ, virgin purity and chastity. Help, Lord, enlighten, make you wise, confirm! Do not believe, do not believe one iota of carnal wisdom and the dragon acting in the flesh; thoughts, speak, act without a doubt, in defiance of him, the liar, the slanderer, the dreamer, the murderer, the envious. Fast, fast, do not eat meat at all, not even fish, so that you do not become a receptacle for the enemy who enters and nests in us through intemperance and satiety. Sleep little, stay awake more, think, work! You need very little: what should you do with the gifts of God that remain with you? Obviously, to lavish on those in need, relatives and non-relatives, especially relatives. But do not give it to those who can work for free, but only to the elderly, the crippled, those burdened with family, and then, if they can earn it, let them earn it, so that they do not learn idleness and do not eat bread for nothing, for by the sweat of their brow, it is said, “take away your bread [Gen. 3, 19]. Don’t believe your eyes when it seems to them that your neighbor has more pieces and that you should give him less; agree that in this case you too should have given less, and if they had given you a lot, you should have been indignant at those who gave you: why don’t they know how to give (and blame them for what you should approve of) - and at you yourself, who received a lot: why did you take a lot, and not a little - but who is not happy with the much, the generous, the abundant? I will weave a good measure 17 and shake and overflow who does not love [Lk. 6:38] and who will not approve of one who measures out so kindly and generously? Flattery (church glory) – deception, lies, deceit. Charming - deceiving, deceptive; seductive. Dream (Church Slavic) – an empty false idea, a ghost; seduction, deception. Antiphon 3rd at Matins, tone 4th. Rus.: May my heart be exalted towards You, the Word, and nothing from the pleasures of the world will deceive me to my humiliation. Prisny (Church Slavic) – dear, always close person. The Great Penitential Canon of St. Andrew of Crete, read on Thursday of the First Week of Great Lent. Song 4. Ever (Church Glorious) – always, constantly. Complete (Church Glorious) – complete, complete, make perfect; sanctify. Stuzhati (Church Glav.) – to oppress, oppress, disturb. Belial (Heb.) – lit.: insignificant, worthless. In the Bible, this word is applied to all depraved, wicked and evil people, but especially to Satan, as the main culprit of all wickedness and evil. Vospisati (church glory) – to reward, to send back. Disdainful (Church Glav.) – arrogant, arrogant, disrespectful. Prayer of St. Macarius the Great To You, O Lord, Lover of Mankind, having risen from sleep, I come running... from the sequence of morning prayers. Daring (Church Glav.) – here in the meaning: daring, criminal. The image of a slave (Church Slav.) – the image, appearance of a slave. Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites, because you are like hidden tombs over which people walk and do not know it. Woven (Church Slavic) – tightly stuffed, pressed. You might be interested in: