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Glory to the deliverer God, who did marvelous things to me during the early liturgy (Sunday) and graciously, generously, quickly, and powerfully delivered me from the snares of the enemy, the instigator. He served Mass very well, peacefully, loudly, from the heart and received communion without condemnation, into peace, joy, joy and strength of soul and body. But a moment of impatience and anger at the singers upset my spiritual peace, my spiritual harmony. It was difficult to return her. The new communion during the consumption of the Holy Gifts brought back peace. And before the image of the Lady I read the prayer vaguely, poorly - my heart became capricious: somehow the devil, my vigilant hunter, got in. By whom does everything exist, live, be managed, and lead to its intended goal? – By the Existing One, the One Who created everything and leads everything to known goals. So, the entire universe with its countless and varied multitude of creatures exists and is strengthened by the Creator. How can you, [being a rational being], make your life dependent on money, food, drink? Is it not the Creator who gives all this? Will He who gave you life give you the means to live? Will not He who feeds the birds and many animals nourish you? Why do you believe the absurd liar, deceiver, scolder, slanderer, blasphemer the devil? Why do you cleave to the dust? Why don’t you trample on money, food, and drink with the will of your heart? Why don’t you give glory to the Creator, who has previously fed you so generously? Oh, how carefree and simple-hearted we should be! How simply we must live - and how cunningly we live! There is one beginning, being and life of everything; one beginning, being, your life is God. Rely on God's Providence, and not on your mind and not on money, not on sweets, not on food and drink; believe that by treating others, you treasure for yourself the generous gifts of the Heavenly Father, the nourisher of all creatures. Seek first the Kingdom of God (in yourself) and His righteousness (love for your neighbor as for yourself), and all this will be added to you (and will not decrease) [Matt. 6, 33]. Will a woman forget her suckling child, so as not to have compassion on the son of her womb? but even if she forgot, then I will not forget you [Isa. 49, 15 ]! Have you ever been hungry one day in your life? - No; and now you are thirty-six years old - so what are you worried about? Stinginess, stinging material goods for your neighbor is one madness, one blind lust of the flesh, one’s greed. It’s a strange thing: what is harmful for you, what often and most often becomes a barrier between you and God, between God and your neighbor, what you should despise, impute to nothing, you feel sorry for the other, because of that you are indignant, because of that you become disliked towards your neighbor. And because of the waste of all this, you should rejoice. Let it not happen to you that you are disposed toward some relatives, for example, by mother or father, and hate and despise others, for example, by wife, because of any pretext, but be equally disposed towards everyone, honor and love everyone, be equal to everyone, by the grace of the Lord. Do not envy some relatives who live at your expense (especially God’s gifts), because of the poverty of others, and do not say to yourself: you live well, are lazy, but these live poorly, in shortcomings. The spirit of malice is looking for pretexts for malice in every possible way - do not believe its dreams and absurdities. There is nothing more absurd than malice, nothing more absurd than any sin. Will I create lawlessness because others commit lawlessness or live lawlessly, will I add new evil to evil? Let it not be, Lord! Teach and strengthen me, Master, to do Your will, to despise every sin and laugh at it, like Paul the Simple. 81 I thank You, my Savior and God, for You have been my helper even this day and You have been my salvation; I glorify Your sweetest, great and wondrous name, which cleanses, pacifies, enlightens, and expands my heart. I had a great lesson with Frank; with the fourth grade students, too, despite the every minute deceit and abominations of the enemy, - Your name, my Joy, my Shrine, has triumphed over all the machinations of the enemy; It was difficult, very difficult for my soul, drawn by enemies to sin, but faith in Your name, calling on Your name, overcame all difficulties. Then at home I sinned several times, I cried out to You for mercy, and You heard me and delivered me. Thank you, my Savior! Do not leave me with Your salvation even until the end of my life! Wake up! Amen. Sweets that anoint the insides and directly irritate them should be consumed in very limited quantities; otherwise, they will make the heart rough, insensitive and inaccessible to God’s grace, which itself is a spiritual ointment that anoints the soul, which is why it is taught to the newly baptized under the guise of peace. 82 In general, we must avoid gluttony and satiety. What does it mean to believe in God? This means to consider everything, the whole world, as nothing, and the Lord God as the only Existing and all-filling One, to carry Him in the heart, to constantly talk with Him, to thank Him, to glorify Him without silence, to ask for help from Him, to resort to His protection in all circumstances, needs, sorrows, cramped conditions, and illnesses. Not to believe in God means to consider the visible world as everything, and the Lord as nothing, to consider the world as existing and all-filling, to cleave to it, to be seduced by its vanity, to live in it, to hope in it, to live in its pleasures, to expect nothing after death. Again, to believe in God means to consider the people of this age, living according to the spirit of this world, with all their wealth, with all their luxury, pride, occupations, amusements, as nothing, and to consider the Holy Angels and holy people of God, starting with the Mother of God, as everything for themselves and for others after the Lord God, to live with them, to walk, to have them before their eyes, to talk with them, to ask for their help and intercession. To believe in God also means to despise worldly wisdom as vain, and to consider the word of God to be the only rule of life. Until now, because of the addiction to sweets and money and clothes, there have been so many sidelong glances, grief, enmity, gloominess, angry silence, strife, mutual displeasure and embarrassment. Despise this rubbish and not feel sorry for it at all, act together; if others at the table eat and drink sweetly, don’t refuse to eat and drink sweetly, otherwise if, out of stinginess and with a bitter heart, you yourself eat and drink unsweetly, then you will offend others: now they will see your stinginess and grief and say: he’s sparing us food and drink. Everything is one and the same. Glory to Your name, Lord! Glory to Your name, Lord! Glory to Your name, Lord! December 18, 1864 If on one of the fast days, for example, on Friday, you ordered your wife to prepare a lenten dish, not a fish dish, and she did not cook it, but prepared a fish dish, not according to your desire, do not be angry with her, but go for some light plant food for yourself to the store or to your neighbors and eat for the glory of God, and if no one has it, eat bread and water. But in every possible way maintain peace with your family and do not ruin the world because of your belly. In simplicity of heart, sit at the table and partake of the gifts of God’s goodness with reverence, considering everyone equal to food and drink. Do not look with an evil eye at the eating and drinking of others and do not measure with your eyes the pieces and cups of sweets consumed by others, but just as you do not spare anything for yourself, so do not spare anything for others. Fulfill the Lord's commandment at all times, at every hour, in any case. What happens to us most of the time? “We don’t regret anything for ourselves and are ready to allow ourselves every luxury in food, drink, clothing, housing, home furnishings, but allow ourselves to do the same at the expense of our neighbors, even relatives - for example, if they eat and drink the same sweet things as we do - and trouble: we will immediately look at them with an evil eye and an evil heart and we will be restless and gloomy. Oh, pride, oh, damnation, oh, pride, stinginess, envy, addiction to material things! Look at food and drink, money, clothes as if they were rubbish and decay, as well as at the apartment itself and its furnishings. How long will you enjoy what pleasantly irritates your senses: sight, taste, hearing, touch and smell, which, so to speak, pricks them pleasantly? Isn't this absurd? Remember the words of the holy prophet David: with a proud eye and an insatiable heart, do not eat with this. ...I walked in the gentleness of my heart in the midst of my house [Ps. 100, 5, 2]. The union of husband and wife depicts the union of Christ and the Church, but Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for her. The Apostle says: Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for her [Eph. 5, 25]. Oh, how gluttony dries up love for God and man, even for one’s wife and relatives! How it coarsens him, hardens him, makes him cold! Most of this action falls on the share of sweets: tea, sugar, pies, beer, wine, meat, milk. Man is the image of God, and sins, ignorance, unsmoothness, unseemly speech, unseemly face, lethargy, the decrepitude of old age are something accidental; one must have unchanging respect and love for the image of God, and despise a person’s sins, ignorance, lack of education and instruct him, promote his spiritual advancement and, as an ignorant person, be more forgiving, and not be covered by the will of the darkness of unreason. They quarrel with their neighbors over food, clothing, and other things. Absurdity. Where is the Lord’s commandment? Is it possible to forget her even for a moment, for a minute? It must be constantly in the heart. What commandment? Love your neighbor as yourself [Matt. 19, 19]. We are all one breath of God, children of one Adam and Eve, children of one Jesus Christ. Everyone has the same nature – spiritual and physical. We are all one spiritual body. The first Christians had everything in common [Acts. 2, 44], but at least in your home, let everything be common. Do not spare anything for anyone, let all members of the family consume all sweets as their own and everything else related to life. Do not be zealous and irritable when they speak to you untruthfully or truthfully, or in some ambiguous way or by some example point to you, your bad sides, but rejoice that they tell you the truth to your face and give you this opportunity to recognize yourself and the opportunity to improve. Everything that is painful and vaguely manifests itself inside you must be thrown out and be simple, dispassionate, and peaceful. Everything earthly - earth and ashes, - all the beauty or ugliness of human faces, the beauty of clothes, all the sweets of food and drink, all the silver and gold, all the elegant houses, all the beautiful utensils in them. All faces - from the hair on the head to the nail on the toe - are the work of God’s hands, and one must always revere this most perfect work of [God’s] hands. I am a damned man: until now I live not for my Savior, not for my Creator, not for my renewer, not for my shrine, not for my breath, not for my light, not for my strength, not for the world and space of my heart, but for myself, for myself, for my many-passionate flesh: I walk, enjoy the fresh air, indulge in gluttony, get satiated, do not observe Wednesdays and Fridays, do not engage in spiritual contemplation, do not care about purification and correction of my heart, my life, I do not worry with all my strength about the salvation of God’s people, I do not constantly study in the word of my God, I do not write church teachings, I do not observe the will of my God, but I do the will of my flesh - whatever the sinful flesh wanted, that is what I do; I do not enlighten the mental eyes of my heart, I do not always contemplate before me the light of my eternal - my Lord, my Creator, my Benefactor. There will be recompense for him for the works of his hands, says the Lord through the prophet [Isa. 3, 11]. God! Do not let this be fulfilled on me, but grant me, Lord, to truly repent and please You. There are fetters that are easy and pleasant to put on, but difficult and bitter to wear. This is delicacy and satiety. Oh, when will I be abstinent? What do I need after a sin, when the spirit of despondency, sorrow and oppression oppresses me? - In condescension, in affection, in encouragement; Oh, how timely affection, encouragement, and condescension sometimes come to me then! Like oil for a wound; how she calms me down, consoles me, encourages me, resurrects me! But woe to me then is the stern, unfriendly, stern, demanding, accusatory gaze! He doesn't correct me, he kills me. Hence the need to conform to the characters of those who sin, if we have been appointed their leaders and judges! Otherwise, you need to act on the dull, and otherwise on the daring and arrogant, but faulty. The former must be treated with condescension and affection, the latter with severity and severity. You alone know the weakness of the human being, 83 you alone know the multitude of my sins, cleanse me and pacify me. Direct my steps, O Lover of Mankind and Omnipotence, to carry out Thy commandments and Thy justifications and to regularly carry out my great service to You as a priest and teacher of young men. God! I can’t do anything without You - help me. The Most Holy Theotokos is the mother of Christians by grace, our most pure Queen and Lady, all-good and all-powerful. Will she not, through our prayer, cleanse us from the many different defilements of sin? Will she not stand up for us in trouble, sorrow, sadness, need, situation? You just need to always turn to Her with faith and hope and not be shy of Her, not be alienated in your heart - what children are shy of their mother and run away from her, what children are cold and insensitive to their mother? But woe to us that we are sensual, sinful, unclean, we love and strive for what we see, hear, touch, and are cold towards the invisible, until sorrow, illness, need and sadness force us to turn to the invisible world and seek help from above, where it cannot be found on earth. Hence the need for sorrows, illnesses and misfortunes as stimulants of faith and trust in God and the saints of God. I thank You, Lord Jesus Christ, my God, my endless mercy, for today you have shown Your almighty right hand on me four times, having, through my prayer, defeated the sins that acted in me, or, moreover, the opposing forces that took up arms against me with all their malice and strength, and granted me boldness, greatness, the word of reason before Your people (those gathered in the Duma) and before my students (in the second and third grades). God! To my winner, or in me! Glory to You! May it be like this for me, O Lord, all the days of my life. God! I am weakness, but Your power is made perfect in weakness (2 Cor. 12:9). I am a sinner, but You came into the world to save sinners (1 Tim. 1:15). God! I sinned before You: I was angry with my sister for her inaction. I see a twig in my sister’s face, but I don’t see a log in mine; I see small sins in others, but I don’t want to notice big ones in myself; I pay off the big ones for myself, but I want to collect from others for the small ones. God! I also sinned: I envied my brother for his wealth and hated him in my soul; but one must rejoice in the well-being and contentment of one’s brother as if it were one’s own, and pray that, because of his temporary well-being, he does not lose his eternal one, that he does not forget God, that his heart does not depart from God. I prayed to You that You would forgive me this sin, and You forgave me the wickedness of my heart. Thank you. Evening. Four and a half hours. Even if a person comes to you ten times a week or a day to eat bread and salt and drink tea or ask for money, do not be offended by him and do not serve the devil, otherwise fire, darkness, sorrow and hardship will come upon you. True. Caress everyone, at least don’t be offended by anyone, but say within yourself: the earth is the Lord’s and what fills it, the universe and everything that lives in it [Ps. 23, 1]. Nothing of mine. Everyone is better than me - I am the worst; everyone costs more or less than God's gifts - I don't deserve any. Respect, respect all people, as others respect you, as you want to be respected, and do not insult them in any way, especially do not spare them food, drink, sweets when they come to you to eat and drink at your place; Because of this, do not insult the dust and the dust of the king of all the earth, such as man is, to whom everything has been given into power on earth. Rule over it, it says [Gen. 1, 28]. Don't think about others what you don't want about yourself. Love... thinks no evil (1 Cor. 13:4 – 5). Don't listen to the inner slanderer. If the Lord were not in us, no one against us would be able to overcome the enemy's battle: the victorious one is exalted from here. 84 Do not look with an evil eye at a stranger eating and drinking sweetly from you and do not say in your heart: behold, he takes a lot of sweet, good things, leaving little for others, or: he puts sugar in a cup once, and twice, and a third time - but look at it with a simple heart, as if you did it yourself, and rejoice from your heart that your brother or sister is comforted by food and drink: For the earth is the Lord's and the fulfillment of it ( 1 Cor. 10:26), and offer all its sweets and material sweetness as a sacrifice to the love of God, which has produced all these sweets for us and has prepared in the future endless spiritual sweets in the sight of God. With the material sweetness that is distributed, buy the sweetness of love for God and your neighbor: by delighting the image of God with the love and material sweetness of your neighbor, you delight God. Otherwise, why give you the sweetness of eternal blessings? Please your neighbor in word and deed, as much as is permissible, pure, and not sinful. When you stand in prayer and read prayers, remember that you are standing face to face, eye to eye with your Creator, your nourisher and enlightener and your belly, and pray with heartfelt love and reverence. God loves our mutual sociability, especially between shepherds and their flocks (shepherd the flock of God which is yours, overseeing it not under compulsion, but willingly and pleasing to God, not for vile gain, but out of zeal (1 Pet. 5:2)). Why do we rarely visit our spiritual children and stick only to our own home? We forget that we live in society and must teach and console each other. Mutual sociability is sweet for the soul: the spirit is enlivened and strengthened during mutual conversation. During mass, one must be inflamed with all the power of love for God, thanksgiving to God, praise, reverence, and far from oneself throw away all worldly cares. For think about what you are doing, O priest, what Sacrament are you performing, the Sacrament of what love? Such, according to which God the Father did not spare His Only Begotten Son and gave Himself to death for us, so that He may forever unite us with Himself in His Kingdom, according to which the Son suffered and died a shameful and painful death and gave Himself as food and drink. Think about it, you have one heart: if you cleave to earthly things even for a moment, you will already betray the Existing Lord Jesus; and if you take into account how the devil, having crushed us in an instant with an addiction to earthly things, then strengthens himself in the most impudent, brutal way to keep us in his clutches, then everything earthly will disgust you. Look what he did to the Son of God, he brought him to what, won’t he bring you to suffering? So we must suffer and bear our cross on earth, and not live in bliss and luxury, and during the liturgy think only about God. A person comes, that is, is born into the world and lives in it, and here on the one hand he receives and surrounds him with the infinite love of God, on the other - the inexpressible malice of the devil with many intrigues; and this finding of a person between two forces continues throughout his life, with his constant struggle with opposing and evil forces, with his prayer to the Father of lights, so that He would forgive his sins and accept him into communion with Himself - the source of life, love and peace. Evil spirits treacherously over a person, seducing him with earthly delights and entangling him with them, that is, addiction to them, like snares, nets, the beauty and value of things, distracting him from love for God and his neighbor and producing in his heart coldness towards the Creator of all, oblivion and dislike, coldness, pride, hatred, envy, stinginess towards his neighbor, whom he must love as himself, and not to spare him anything, because everything has been put under our feet [Ps. 8, 7 ], and not for me alone, because everything is rubbish, earth, dust. O lust of the flesh! Oh, my sting! I see you, I know you! But you are the sting, the darkness, the sorrow. And my God is peace, life, light, space, strength! A person who has no addiction to earthly things, to earthly goods: sweets, splendor, outfits - how majestic, important, calm, and strong in spirit he is! But how low in himself and before people, petty, confused, spiritually powerless is the biased person! He is a disgrace to himself. Take the example of a stingy person who is greedy for food and drink. This is the likeness of an animal: he is all earthly, he sees nothing further than the earth and beyond money, monetary settlements, and coarse pleasures. Where is his rational and immortal soul? Where are her higher powers, manifestations, aspirations? Muffled, crushed by sensuality. A person who has no attachment to earthly goods sincerely honors God, respects and loves His image - man, and will never exchange him for dust, will not harbor hatred and envy towards him because of the dust. But a partial person very often, because of money, food and drink, because of clothes and housing and his utensils, becomes embittered with his neighbor, despises him, envies him, is stingy, and regards him as nothing; what can I say, he is rejected by the Lord God Himself because of money, food and drink and other things; he only needs money, and a lot of it, as many sweets and clothes as possible, a richer apartment, so that he alone can have everything that is best in the world, and leave others only with what is worse. Co-humans! Joints! Come to your senses. Let us follow the Lord! Let us love one another, because love comes from God... He who does not love does not know God, because God is love (1 John 4:7-8). Enmity is from the evil one. Let's not quarrel. God! Help. December 14th, 1864 Let nothing be more precious to you than the law of God. And what an inner world I possessed before I felt sorry for my skufia! What simplicity there was in my heart! Oh, earthly flattery! Flattery of persons, clothing, food, drink, money, houses or dwellings, carriages, maps, games, theaters, books of secular content. But what a sweet, spacious, heavenly peace my Lord gave me upon communion of the Holy Mysteries - it is impossible to describe; just as after a crushing storm there comes great silence, so after the demonic storm the Lord sent me great silence. Glory for this to the Lord Jesus Christ, my peace, my endless life. Our flesh loves everything to be smooth, convenient, and quick, and does not tolerate awkwardness, clumsiness and slowness in others, and gets irritated with them when it notices this in them. Wouldn’t it please you, my flesh, to bear complacently and with joy all the awkwardness, mistakes and mistakes of your neighbors and to love them with all their faults, just as the Lord bore on Himself the entire burden of your eternal torment that you would have to undergo, and even the temporary cruel sorrows that you would have to endure for your sins? Wouldn’t you like to willingly, with devotion to the Lord, endure all the mistakes of your neighbors, leave debts to your debtors, so that the Heavenly Father will forgive you your sins? Be pure love and do not dare to harbor hatred and contempt for anyone because of anything. We are all one, and the Lord is in all, and we must all be in love. Our element is love, our breath, our light, our food and drink, our clothing, our life is love. We ourselves do not live according to God’s will, but we want others to do it our way, as it seems to us better and more convenient; if it is not done according to our wishes, we become embittered. How simply we must live, and how cunningly we live! And that’s why we are in such poverty! A fornicator, an adulterer, a prostitute, a sodomite - do not indulge in fornication. Now your vile deeds are sweet to you, but the time will come, days, months, years, when you will be forced, groaning, to curse that hour, that minute when you recognized the sin and committed it for the first time and did it later. Fear corruption, lest God corrupt you with eternal fire. The whole earth is an insignificant speck of dust; from this speck of dust, by His omnipotence, wisdom and goodness, the Lord created many heterogeneous and diverse creatures, ensouling them, and among them man, ensouling him with His direct breath; in addition, from the same earth He created many plants and among them fruitful and barren trees, and into the bowels of the earth He placed many metals and precious stones, which man extracts from the bowels of the earth and makes various things out of them with his mind. What is more valuable than anything in the world: the soul or earthly things? Of course, the soul is more valuable than all things, the whole world, because it is God’s breath, the image and likeness of God, and everything else is earth and dust. To whom should a person cleave with his heart: to God, his origin and the origin of everything, to his prototype, or to this soulless and insignificant dust, caused by God from insignificance, trampled under our feet and again destined to return to insignificance? Is it to flesh and blood or to the Divine Spirit? But flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, and corruption does not inherit incorruption (1 Cor. 15, 50). So, behold, this is why you were created with your face turned upward, this is why you are gifted with a soaring mind. He who loves God with all his heart and with all his thought and with all his strength does all works of faith and piety with all his heart, without thinking about anything extraneous, without being entertained by anything, [...] without being internally deceived, without internally clinging to anything earthly with his mind, heart and imagination. But he does not love God with all his heart, who, while serving God, for example, prayer, thinks about something extraneous and clings to something with his heart. You cannot serve God and mammon [Matt. 6, 24], God and wealth and earthly things in general. Oh, how strongly and for how long the attachment of the heart to earthly things distracts us from God. But dust is everything earthly, all precious things, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes, and the very eyes are dust. Be above all earthly things. Cling to the uncreated Sweetness and Beauty, to the eternal, infinitely perfect. I thank my Lord Jesus Christ, who entered into me through the Holy Mysteries, that He granted me, victoriously in His name, to teach two classes on Saturday: with the boy Frank and in the fourth grade - and to be a majestic, sensible, intelligent interlocutor and teacher of the law. At the very end of the class, from a sly glance at a beautiful boy-child, the enemy defeated me, and I suddenly became darkened, ashamed and exhausted and plunged into cramped conditions. We must look everyone straight in the face in the simplicity of our hearts. The beauty of a child’s face is God’s beauty. The vile enemy, the enemy of God, who has disfigured, perverted, corrupted himself, does not tolerate this beauty and slanderes it, defiles it in our thoughts. But all the suggestions and intrigues are absurdity, a dream, empty nonsense; As soon as it is easy to think about it, they are nonsense, an empty dream, a lie, the absence of any truth. As long as I had in my heart the words: Christ is all and in all [Col. 3, 11] and saw Christ in all the children, until then I was calm, majestic, spacious in heart; How quickly he doubted this and untruly, not in the simplicity of God, looked at the beautiful face - he was immediately wounded, hurt, became oppressed, gloomy, and the source of grace seemed to have dried up in his heart. Oh, how terrible and deadly the serpent’s poison is! God! Save me with Your simplicity! You are in everyone, Lord! In all the Angels, in all the saints, especially in Your Most Pure Mother, and in all Christians who lead You, honor You, love You! Christ in all and in all. God will be all things in everyone (1 Cor. 15:28). It will be... because the devil now reigns in many. A person is weak in soul and body, in mind, in word and deed, therefore he needs to have a lot of patience and, as it were, not pay attention to his weaknesses, for example, words of displeasure, whims, irritability, his unintentional mistakes, infirmities, misunderstandings, hobbies. Love covers everything and settles everything. She compassionately pities a man who is subject to so many and great infirmities, and does not get irritated with him, does not beat him, knowing that his sins and passions are mostly the work of the enemy’s violence, that his very malice or pride, envy and other passions are more the work of the devil than of him, although he, without any doubt, is guilty of them, going against nature, against conscience, against the written commands of God. Lies, the devil’s slander against us, inflicted by our neighbors, must be despised and treated as nothing, and not be irritated by it, not chase after it. Are they chasing the wind, water bubbles? For ghosts? Do not be refined, picky or grumpy, but be content with what you have and what others give. And because of sophistication, there are often quarrels. There is so much discord because, for example, they bought me an item that was not to my taste, they prepared the table not to my taste, they sewed clothes, or they bought me fabric that was not what I wanted, and so on. Be happy with everything and put mutual love and peace above all else. Be extremely careful with your words. Always pay attention to your heart. Remember that the devil never sleeps. Be sober in thought and heart. Keep it simple. Husband and wife, it is said, will be two and one flesh. This mystery (marriage) is great; I speak in relation to Christ and to the Church [Eph. 5, 31–32]. How a husband and wife should love each other! The new, good skufia almost upset the whole [prayer] today. Oh, what a hellish storm Satan has raised in me! Horror, disappearance, and that’s all! The cramped conditions and extreme sorrow! What's all the trouble about? Because of one instant pity for the skufia that smokes from the incense smoke. This is absurd! This is how deadly it is to feel momentarily sorry for anything earthly during a worship service. It’s the same at home: if you spare sweets for your neighbor, trouble will take hold of you: cramped conditions, darkness, evil, shame on your face! Hence the moral teaching: to neglect everything earthly, to consider it as nothing, or as rubbish and droppings. After the Fall, the earth was cursed because of the deeds of man [Gen. 3, 17 ] ; how many times has she been subjected to various executions for the sins of man! But why the earth is despised is because the God-Man was crucified on it, or is it blessed because it drank His blood. So, don’t put everything on earth for anything, not even your very flesh. Why are you, my enemy, constantly making man imperfect? Without your cunning, he would have been perfect, and I could not have been angry and irritated with him (for both the anger and irritability are from you). You, my eternal enemy, are to blame - and I will be angry with you, not with my neighbor, but my neighbor is worth pity. Why did you squeeze the hearts of the rich for the poor and bring the latter to poverty through the hard-heartedness of the rich? It's your fault again. How can I be angry at the weakness of the flesh? And I would like to, but I cannot, for example, sing or read well, just as a tongue-tied person cannot speak clearly. Glory to You, Lord, my double and glorious victory during the fifth and sixth grades. What greatness, peace after sinful humiliation, embarrassment, cramped conditions! But I sinned before the Lord: I told the Gospel parables with a sluggish tongue, a weak and divided heart; That’s why I was wounded by the enemy: like a fiery blade, he entered my insides, burning, scorching, oppressing, irritating. Deliver, Lord! Bring water of life from stone, from metal, from money to the poor - nourish, drink, clothe them. Why was such a will given to the devil over us? On the one hand, to demonstrate the truth of God: for our abandonment of God, for defecting to the side of the enemy of God; on the other hand, so that we, having recognized the flattery, deceit and death-breath of the enemy, would flee from him and cleave more firmly to the Lord God, to Whom it is so good to cleave, peacefully, joyfully, life-giving, savingly. Be sincere and simple-hearted before God and people. Sincerely, without shame, recognize yourself as a sinner, even in the most vile sins, loudly confessing them and consigning them to disgust and shame. If you were deceitful in life, then at least be true in this, without hiding anything, without deceiving yourself and people, and without offending the Lord with your lies and hypocrisy and imaginary holiness. Do not have the false devilish shame that comes from pride and conceit - the shame of recognizing yourself as a vile sinner, surpassing everyone in iniquities, but strike your old, vile man in his very heart, recognizing yourself as completely corrupt, and in such a sincere consciousness of your corruption, weakness, wretchedness, poverty, poverty, nakedness, the Lord will come to you and extend a creative helping hand, for with your sincerity, with sincere awareness of your sins and obedience to Him, it is convenient for Him to renew your corrupt nature and heal the ulcers of your soul and pacify you. But if, out of pride, false shame and hypocrisy, you lie before God and people, do not admit from your heart that you are a vile sinner and do not trample on your sinful pride, then you will not receive forgiveness from God as a liar and a hypocrite and an imaginary righteous person. For Christ... came into the world to save sinners (1 Tim. 1:15), and not the righteous, for there is none righteous, not one... all have turned aside from the way, unprofitable even to one... there is not one [Rom. 3, 10, 12]. Justify by His goodness those who open their heart wounds and do not close them, working for the devil in this too. And that you committed all your sins one by one, there is no doubt about that, for very often the whole devil is in you with all the fullness of his abominations. If you doubt one thing, the devil, a liar, instilling doubt in the truth, will enter your heart. You’re offended that your sister doesn’t thank you for the bread and salt—isn’t that your bread and salt, and not God’s? [...] Is all your property God's? Pure gift of God. You are an indecent slave who does not deserve [such] generous gifts. But here’s what you need to remember: love does not become irritated, it covers everything and falls away from nothing (1 Cor. 13:4-8); love considers itself obligated to others and is ready to thank those very people to whom it should be thanked. Do not follow worldly pride, be humble and sincerely thank everyone for being in the same community with you. Rejoice that you share the fruits of your labors, sent to you by God, with others and do work pleasing to God, who nourishes all flesh. Do not be offended that you are not thanked, but rejoice that your pride is not nourished through this: attribute everything to God, and consider yourself and your labors as nothing. Consider all brothers and sisters, whom one Heavenly Father feeds and clothes with you, like His indecent servants: He illuminates everyone, poured out the air for everyone to breathe, puts everyone to sleep, He feeds and clothes, and we are nothing, nothing of ours: naked we entered the world, naked we will depart. Pay attention to yourself. The spirit of passions is the spirit of the devil. Cleaving to God is life, clinging to materiality, carnality is death. He who cleaves to God receives material benefits in addition. Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you [Matt. 6, 33]. There is more... from hostility [Russian: what is more than this is from the evil one] [Matt. 5, 37]. Food and drink are necessary, and beyond that - smoking, sniffing tobacco - eat out of hostility. And again, there is a certain measure in food: both food and drink are necessary for a person, and what is beyond measure comes from a hostile spirit, the spirit of lust, the spirit of greed, addiction. For example, two or three glasses of tea are nothing, but the fourth is from a hostile spirit. The same goes for food. Through fornication, adultery, fornication and sodomy, all respect for human nature and especially for the body, which is a beautiful, artistic, majestic church of the Spirit of God, the work of the most pure hands of God and the tabernacle of the immortal human spirit, created in the image and likeness of God, is lost. A stranger who visits us, albeit often, must be joyfully accepted as one of our members, for we are all one Church of Christ, one family, members of one Christ, children of one Heavenly Father. Moreover, the earth is the Lord's and all its fullness [Ps. 23, 1 ] - that means my house, my apartment, everything in the apartment; there is nothing of my own: just as I entered the world, so I will depart. We are very proud, voluptuous, partial to earthly things and value and love each other little, forgetting who we are and what we are, and from whom we are, and what we are for, and whose we are. And there are so many carnal, demonic, empty, absurd excuses for not loving God and one’s neighbor: every step is an excuse, every meeting with a neighbor is an excuse, every step of a neighbor is an excuse, especially a step in our home. Oh, how perverted are all our concepts and mutual relationships! What kind of beasts we have become because of our sins - worse than beasts. To what extremes am I inclined! I don’t give alms to the poor, but I’m ready to welcome wealthy people into my home and not spare them anything! We must caress everyone, love everyone, as members of Christ and our own: we must not be one-sided. Is food so easy? (2 Cor. 1:17). We must work, and not do everything lightly, not from the shoulder. Ask... seek... push [Matt. 7, 7; OK. 11, 9]. I asked - don’t sit idly by, but seek and you will find; Moreover, push, that is, double your strength. I thank the Lord, who delivered me from the hellish wiles of demons during the liturgy through the communion of His Holy Mysteries! After hellish languor, loss of spirit and despair, how I calmed down inexpressibly, how comforted I became, how easy it became! Oh, what would happen to us without You, our Savior, Lord! What a disaster! What languor! Disappearance! Crowded! And in class he behaved well in the name of the Lord (in the first and sixth grades). He served Vespers beautifully in the name of the Lord and was strengthened by the Lady. The food was cabbage soup with fish, fish liver and sweet fruit soup. Gluttony has a strong effect when we begin to work for the Lord, and hitherto there was carnal ease, but it was pernicious. Gluttony corrupts the heart and weakens it. Why have you seen the bitch of weakness in your brother's father? The brother sings in a quarrelsome voice, but his heart is quarrelsome and at enmity with God and his neighbor! We say: For Thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory. Why don’t we obey Him as a King, and don’t trust in His power, and aren’t led by His power? Glory... - why do we blaspheme His deeds? We are looking for glory for ourselves. - Only words. I am the worst of all and the last of all. This heartfelt conviction brought peace of heart and freedom from the attacks of the evil one. Everything is for everyone, Lord. We are nothing. Without Me you cannot do anything [Jn. 15, 5]. There is one beginning of life for everyone - God, who gives everything to everyone and provides for everyone. The poor follow you - it is the Angels who follow you, it is Christ Himself who walks after you, expecting mercy from you, so that he may have mercy on you at His Last Judgment. Take away wickedness from your souls [Isa. 1, 16]. This is the wickedness of looking with envy and indignation at the fact that others (even your relatives: your wife, your father-in-law) drink sweetly. That’s how they want it - and let them do it as they want, because all sweets have been put under the feet of man by the Lord [Ps. 8, 7]. He is the master of everything, as long as nothing prevails over them. Everything is permissible for me, but nothing should possess me (1 Cor. 6:12). Use everything as litter, do not cleave to anything: neither to gold and silver, nor to sweets, nor to clothes, nor to housing, nor to household utensils. It’s amazing: what is useless for me and greatly harms me (sweets), I regret this, I cleave to this, my heart ache about this, because of this I lose love for my neighbor. This is how addiction to earthly things punishes itself. Know the purpose of everything earthly for man, know the greatness of man, this image of the Tsar, this vicar of God on earth. Ecu conquered everything under his nose [Ps. 8, 7]. Place the apostle before his feet... [Acts. 5, 2]. How good it is for me with You, Lord, when I unite with You in the communion of the Holy Mysteries, how calm, majestic, strong, free, bright I am! But how bad it is for me without You, when I eat especially deliciously and beyond measure! Then the devil takes possession of me very conveniently and lives in me. December 8th. 1864 I thank Vasily Ivanovich Petrov for the sweet conversation, especially my Lord and His Most Pure Mother, who wonderfully kept me in purity and humility of heart! Glory to Your simplicity, Lord! Beware of eating and drinking a lot after communion: do not litter or fill the royal bedchamber with slop. Understand what is being said. I believe... in one Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church. I believe that God’s holy people are our own, dear to us, are in close connection with us and take a lively part in our eternal destiny. Therefore, call on them with hope, like your elder brothers, with faith in their prayers. The Christian hope is that the Lord will not leave us to the will of our ethereal enemies, but will deliver us from them if we are attentive to ourselves. If books are read like this and not given away, don’t worry about it, crucify the passion of acquisitiveness, learn to be non-acquisitive, and don’t dare hate your neighbor because he turns your book or something else into his property. I thank You, Lord, for the miracle of goodness and intercession of me, a sinner! Yesterday I was embarrassed in the third grade because of the insufficient explanation of the question in the fourth term: 85 how the suffering on the cross and the death of the Savior delivered us from sin, curse and death - and Satan plunged me greatly into despondency and cowardice and distress, but faith in the Savior, in His merits, overcame the machinations of the enemy, took away all my sins, and I was pacified, elevated in spirit and comforted and enlightened in spirit. The entire fourth grade behaved calmly, evenly, majestically, and sensibly! I will write a note of gratitude and victory to the Lady Most Holy Theotokos, as if I had been delivered from demonic conditions during Matins. I solemnly served Matins only as an intercession. Addiction to earthly things is the spirit of the devil and service to him. This is a demonic lie. The desire for things above comes from the Spirit of God and is service to Christ. Woe to us from the dreamy spirits of malice, who suddenly drag our three-part soul to their side, that is, mind, heart and will, to sin. But the dream, the absurdity, are all the machinations of the enemy. Trinity! Protect Your image! Forgive our addiction to the earthly, as we are earthly, formed from the earth. We must speak and create, because man is the image of the Trinity: word and deed are one. Lovers of voluptuousness are more than lovers of God (2 Tim. 3:4). All of you who were baptized into Christ have put on Christ [Gal. 3, 27]. But the devil intensifies to clothe us with himself – and very often clothes us. Beware how dangerously you walk [Eph. 5, 15]. God sends you generously for your work - and you do not spare money to generously reward those who serve you. How does it happen with us? We wish that others would be generous to us, and that we ourselves would be stingy to others. Have high respect for every person as the image of God and a member of Christ, and for the sake of his high dignity, for the sake of the fact that he is the image of God and a member of Christ, always have great condescension towards him, forgiving him for his sins against you. Bear with yourself the insincerity of your neighbor, just as Christ endured eternal punishment for your sins. Live in love with everyone, despising in a person only his wickedness and vices, and not himself. If someone is so entwined with vices and wickedness that he does not want to give up on them and despises you and persecutes you, then leave him to the will of God, still without ceasing to pray for him. If you do not love someone for their sins, then do not love yourself first and most of all, as the first and greatest sinner; Yes, know also that not to love and hate your neighbor is the first and greatest sin. Is it because of a demonic dream, to whose charm we are all subject, that I hate my neighbor? Isn’t this a dream made of dreams, isn’t this an absurdity made of absurdities? But how long will you obey the devil? How long until the Lord God? How long will you not live in the simplicity and certainty of love? How long will you not have pity on those possessed by the demonic plague - I mean the many different passions? How long will you not despise the sins of others? Behold, I thank Thee, Lord, for Thou hast filled my soul with peace for the wisdom of the truth. Do not trust yourself, your evil heart, your sight, your hearing, your taste (appetite), belly, smell, touch - all this is in collaboration with the devil. Believe in one thing in your heart - this is love for God and neighbor, believe in this. My trouble comes from sweets, from gluttony: I become completely unclean, a receptacle for the devil; I have no strength for good. Woe to me without fasting. I am all naked, full of uncleanness and shame. Let us commend our life to Christ our God, that is, to His commandments, to His guidance. Until now, I, the accursed one, have not corrected my heart. The Lord wants to deify us, but we resist Him and try to reify ourselves, to flesh us out; whereas many people subservient to us, through their obedience to Christ the Savior, have already been sanctified and deified, what are we, foolish ones, doing? We become defiled and, so to speak, become demonized. Let the unrighteous still do injustice; let the unclean one still become unclean; let the righteous still do righteousness, and let the holy one still be sanctified [Rev. 22, 11]. A glutton (like me) and a well-fed one has no reverence for God and His saints; he can be kind of wooden, insensitive, deceitful, proud, lazy, obscene! What is our own in our body? Nothing. For we cannot create one single hair, white or black [Matt. 5, 36]. Everything we have is God’s, all members, all parts. You, says the enemy, are jealous of the simplicity of God, but I myself am simple and can sink into your soul like lightning at your slightest mistake. Always talk with God, unceasingly, as with the omnipresent Father who loves us and provides for us. Greed for food, like the desire for malice, is from the devil, and we must curb our greed and gluttony. Drowsiness and insincerity, deceitfulness of the heart in prayer also come from the devil. Turning away of the heart from other persons without any apparent reason is also from the devil; You must have goodwill towards everyone, love everyone as you love yourself. If you love those who love you, what reward will you have?.. And if you greet only your brothers, what special thing are you doing? [Matt. 5, 46 – 47]. You need to overcome the evil disposition of your heart towards someone: with whom you don’t want to talk, talk to him. Where courage wants to disappear, be brave, courageous, calm. He brought him (wounded) to the hotel and took care of him [Lk. 10, 34]. What's a hotel? - Church. Who is the hotelier? - Priest. It is good to drink no more than one glass of tea. And how many whims we have because of aromatic tea! We drink two, three and four glasses because it feels good. And if you kiss your friends only, you are doing something unnecessary; Don’t even pagan women do the same? [Matt. 5, 47]. That is, if you greet only those who greet you and who are kind to you, then what special are you doing? And the pagans do the same thing - that is, they do it even when they are not renewed by grace, in a state of sinful corruption, in the old man; but you must go against your corrupt nature and defeat it, greet those who are proud, arrogant, rude in front of you, who are angry with you, envy you, offend you, dishonor, slander, bother you; you must greet the poor as your brothers. Christ came to save us from death and earthly aphids, therefore, obviously, we must despise the flesh and all earthly aphids, all earthly blessings. To the believer all things are possible [Mk. 9, 23]. But faith is a moment, just as doubt is a moment. Oh, what an absurdity this doubt is, for example, that I cannot read a well-known prayer. And all sins and passions are so absurd. The words of Scripture and the holy fathers, or the words of the Church, are the true thing. When the devil confuses you and forces you to skip words when reading, tell him within yourself: these are not empty words like yours; these words are truth, life, deed; These words are beauty, a treasure: I won’t miss a single one. And for this I will not rush and will [speak] from the heart, with a cordial attitude. The incense melts on the coals and rises upward in the form of smoke. So the soul is inflamed by the Spirit, renounces the burdens of the earth, from its stonyness, blockiness, and materiality, and soars to heaven. And this produces fasting. That is why during the Lenten service it is sung: May my prayer be corrected like a censer... [Ps. 140, 2]. Mystery of souls... Do not owe anyone anything except mutual love; For he who loves another has fulfilled the law [Rom. 13, 8]. But the flesh with its passions resists love for one’s neighbor. How easy it is to think, so convenient, with such simplicity, love your neighbor. So show contempt and hatred for your carnal, old man. Because of my addiction to the flesh, my own or someone else’s, I constantly violate Spasov’s commandment about love for God and neighbor, the commandment about holiness [Matt. 19, 19, etc.]. My God! How long will I insult You? I thank You, Lord Jesus Christ my God, for you did not allow me today (December 1) to fall into despondency, cowardice and shame during the first and fifth grades. I thank You, Lord, for You have delivered me from the enemy who bound me by pinching my clothes. When serving God, one must put aside all worldly cares and count everything as rubbish. God gave me existence, He supports my existence, as an Artist and Creator. I am all His, although I am sinful. If through His incarnation and through my communion of His most pure Mysteries the Lord united and unites me, falling away from Him, with Himself, then with what should I more unite, to whom and to what should I cleave, besides Him? - To Him alone: ​​with Him is life and every good. That is why one untruthful thought after communion is severely punished. O Lord Jesus Christ, infinitely merciful, my God, I thank You, for You mercifully heard my prayer at midnight and delivered my soul from the resistive forces that had entered into me in the evening for the insincerity, coldness and laziness of my heart at evening prayer and which disturbed me to the point that I could not sleep peacefully. When I read, on my knees, the psalm: Have mercy on me, O God [Ps. 50 ], recognizing and feeling my sin, and prayer: Lord our God, who through repentance has granted forgiveness to men... 86 - behold, You have moved into me and driven away the opposing forces and pacified me. After that I fell asleep in a serene sleep, and my dreams were so blessed, my heart was so enlightened that I clearly saw Your grace within me, my God! And You sent this gift to me for overcoming the laziness of my flesh, that I was not too lazy to get up at midnight, at the time of sweet sleep, and for the prayer of faith that You gave me. Master, grant me to always pray to You without laziness and sincerity, overcoming my lazy flesh, and especially the laziness of my carnal heart. Oh, damn me! Because of a lump of sugar, because of an extra spool of wood (tea), I violate Your priceless commands, so that I love my neighbor as myself, and especially my father. Cleanse, enlighten, strengthen and save me, my Lord and Judge! May I be alien to all that belongs, but may I be common to You and to every neighbor, especially to his soul. Never make peace with the flesh, always be at enmity with it, for it is an insidious friend: it will pretend to be hungry in order to draw you into greed and satiety and lust. Tea is an insidious friend: with its pleasantness or its pleasant warmth, it leads to excess and relaxes the body and soul. Sweets are a disaster for my soul and body, and the flesh is greedy for them, pities them for others, and would swallow them all up itself. Oh, blind! We need to completely trample (help, God) self-love and, seeing as how not to see the insults made to us by others, spying on our weaknesses, searching, but cover everything with love and pray for our enemies, for our ill-wishers. Oh, how varied is the evil of the devil over us, how the devil has beset everyone with his many different hellish snares: malice, envy, pride, contempt, secret mockery of the infirmities of our neighbors, doubt, fear, despondency, murmuring, blasphemy, despair or covetousness, seeking rewards, vain joy, idle talk, gluttony, gluttony, drunkenness, fornication, theft, false witness and slander, deceit and suspicion, deception, lies, vain worship, slander, lies, coldness towards God, towards His church, towards His word, towards one’s neighbor! In our soul, either God or the devil reigns. But no matter how the devil turns us away from love for God and neighbor, do not succumb to him, knowing his every possible effort to deprive our souls of the only thing we need - love for God and neighbor. When you fulfill any of the Savior’s commandments, for example about life-mongering 88 during the word of God, and the enemy incites you to desire an earthly reward, then immediately correct yourself from this pride and doubt and say to yourself: I am a slave who cannot do what I must do, what I have done [Lk. 17:10], and do not at all desire or seek reward for your labors. The reward will be from God on the Day of Judgment. Rewards are inconsistent with Christian humility. They nourish pride, ambition and vanity, envy, ill will, and are a source of various displeasures. I thank You, Lord, because You brought me, insignificant and sinful, into the number of Your creatures and into the host of Your people and, if I remain faithful to You, You promised to introduce me into Your eternal Kingdom, into the communion of Your Angels, especially into communion with Yourself, the Tri-radiant God. To trample on all addiction to the flesh and to material things, because this addiction, being the work of the devil, his ungodly and evil will, is the constant cause of our coldness towards God and neighbor, our enmity against God and neighbor, our constant resistance to God and neighbor. We must consider our flesh as rubbish, and all earthly goods as rubbish and insignificance itself, for don’t we see how the flesh turns into stinking pus and dust, and everything earthly is destroyed and disappears as nothing. So, one must not have the slightest attachment to the flesh and to all its senses - to sight, to hearing, to taste, or the belly, smell and touch. You see an ugly beggar in torn rags - do not despise him, look, out of addiction to the sense of sight, to his whim to see only what is good and value it, and despise what is not good and impute nothing, but consider both the good and the bad in a person equally, knowing that his soul is the image of God Himself, the author of all beauty in the world and the source of life. You hear that some tradesman, or a retired soldier, or a poor merchant who comes to church sings in an unseemly voice - do not despise him because of his voice, do not be angry with him, but remember that the voice is something external, accidental, temporary, and have respect for his immortal soul, created in the image of God, knowing that if he had a naturally good voice, then he would sing good; be lenient towards natural weaknesses, as not depending on the will of man. If the church watchman put a lot of incense in the censer and it smokes too much - again, do not be angry with the watchman, do not disdain the smoke, but be calm, enduring a lot of smoke, knowing that it will [disperse] like fog and even more quickly, or meekly, kindly tell the watchman not to put a lot of incense in the censer. Do not impute food and drink and almost anything else in the person of your neighbor to human nature. Know Belial, nesting in the flesh and acting through it to spread and establish his kingdom among people. If someone smokes heavily in the room, don’t get angry. If someone stays with you as a guest or comes to visit you for a short time and eats your bread and salt, your sweets - do not be offended by him, do not breathe indignation, anger, irritability at him, do not pay attention to your belly and taste, or your greed. Be one not with food and drink, but with human souls. In general, despise the whims of the flesh, which seeks only the pleasant for all feelings and averts the unpleasant. Consider it as pus, [obscenity], as dust, but remember that it is a snare and nest of the devil, that through it the enemy turns us away from God and neighbor and plunges us into thousands of evils. How harmful it is to sleep under a warm blanket, because this greatly weakens the body, and with it the soul, and a kind of heavy bliss and laziness develops in the whole being! Oh, how one must protect the body from relaxation by warm blankets! Now what about tea and coffee? Are they harmful to us? They are very, very harmful if used frequently and in sufficient quantities, because they imperceptibly relax (rather than strengthen) the body and with it the soul. Therefore, you should drink tea and coffee rarely and very little, and try not to drink them during Lent, at least until the service. Take care of the temple of the Holy Spirit. Be ready to joyfully pray to the Lady Theotokos with faithful Christians or alone day and night, for She prays for us day and night, and with Her prayers we are all strengthened and safe from the strong temptations of the enemy and freed from illnesses, misfortunes, troubles and sorrows and passions. Having saved us from the deception of the enemy, O Lord, save me now, O Lord, from the deception of this passion that has overcome me, or the passions that have held me - say so when any carnal passion rapes you. What a good servant is Thy, Thy holy apostle, Lord, Andrew the First-Called! As soon as I fell to him in my sinful cramped state with a prayer to ask You for mercy for me, a sinner, who desired silver during the Sacrament of the Blessing of Unction and was therefore struck by confusion and cramped state from the devil - and he immediately petitioned You, Lord of all, for forgiveness for me, the indecent one: after two or three minutes I felt completely calm. How quickly mercy is asked from the Heavenly King, especially when His saints ask for it! The desire for silver during worship is from the devil. Oh, Judas's love of money! Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, seek heartfelt service to God and your neighbor, diligent, willing, and there God will add everything to you [Matt. 6, 33]. Always have in your heart love for God and your neighbor, and then God will take care to give you everything you need for your body. The Blessed Virgin Mary, being brought up in the Jerusalem Temple, was so completely occupied with prayer and reading the Holy Scriptures that she forgot about food. But for that, God sent the Archangel to Her with food. Do not be discouraged by the fact that you have to perform many tasks, but, on the contrary, rejoice that you often have to talk with your Heavenly Father, with the Most Pure Mother of God and with the saints and be (if only you are) outside the bustle of the earth. Imagine how honored you are: you, earth and ashes, are conversing with the beginningless King of Glory. Take away the devilish despondency from yourself, do not be shy and do not be alienated from the Heavenly Father, for you are His son by grace; with what love, with what radiant face should you talk with Him, with what love should you pray for people, His children by grace, members of the body of the Church of Christ. How much does my weak body need, and it’s a strange thing: the less it needs, the more it hungers and thirsts; The more vague, shy and painful for the soul and body the addiction to earthly sweets, to earthly treasures, the more addicted I am to them. What kind of madness is this? What kind of darkness surrounds me? Oh, how good it is not to have to deal with all these blessings of the earth or to use them indifferently, like rubbish, for our bodies are rubbish, earth and ashes, no matter how beautiful they are, no matter how we value, caress, or almost idolize them, no matter how we delight them with sweets, shine, pleasant sounds, beauty, fragrances, touch. All vanity and sleep! O carnal irritation, nervous irritation, material concussion, until I despise you and do not consider you on a par with the concussion of a soulless instrument! My God! How long will you not be the God of my heart? How long will these alien gods, who cannot give light, life and peace to my soul, but only darkness, sorrow and oppression (these sweets, I mean, all this attractive materiality), possess me, my heart? Strange thing! They are always fatal to both the soul and the body, striking both with apoplexy, as it were, and I am still drawn to them, seduced by them, clinging to them. How easy it seems to follow the path of wisdom, but no - you follow the path of madness: one moment of temptation - and often you fall into materiality: such a charm, a deception! This is how the evil Belial amuses himself with me! But, my Christ, help me to overcome the charm of sweets, grant me to love you wholeheartedly, and my neighbor as myself, and for him do not allow me to spare sweets, this rubbish, and not to say in myself wickedly: I use them less, but they eat them from my property more than me. It is your glory, your honor that you use them less: you are a priest, you taste the Sweetest Jesus most often, you must philosophize about the heavenly infinite sweetness and not cleave sacrilegiously, idolatrously to earthly sweets, for you cannot serve two masters [Matt. 6, 24]. You have learned through long experience how the devil, through sweets, separates your heart from Christ and strongly arms you against Him, against His commandments and against your neighbor, how through sweets he separates you from your neighbor, cools you towards him, instills contempt for him. This is enough to trample all the sweets. There is nothing more to speculate about. There are no more excuses to cling to sweets, to love them. Remember that the heart is the source of thought, words, love and the church of God, and it is in close connection with the cavity of the stomach. Do not clog your stomach with food and drink, that is, do not consume food and drink indiscriminately and immoderately, but be zealous about abstinence and fasting, so that your inner church is clean, bright, spacious and beautiful, as befits a royal palace. God! I thank You, because You delivered me from wickedness, the abomination of hard-heartedness and insensitivity towards my sick comrade and brother Ivan Kazimirovich Latynsky through my inner prayer to You. I thank You, for You heard me in the demonic crampedness. Hear me always in the cramped conditions of the enemy. November 28, 1864 God! I looked at the invisible You as if you were visible! Your name was for me You Yourself. Glory to Thy righteousness, O Lord, glory to Thy world, glory to Thy life that is in us! I was visiting Vasily Mikhailovich Chernyavsky, the priest of the cemetery church, and I behaved well in the Lord, calmly, simply, casually, conversationally, repelled the machinations of demons in the name of the Lord and denounced them internally with the words: soap bubbles. However, I attributed these words only to lustful and contemptuous thoughts, ready to defile my soul. I thought that, by the grace of God, I would leave the guests with peace and a triumphant appearance, leaving a pleasant impression on those who received me. But when I began to drink the third glass of tea, the crafty spirit of stinginess stopped me: I remembered my servant, that she should be given tea and sugar - so what? O accursed, and stingy, and proud! I regretted this sweetness and rolls for her! He himself ate and drank with pleasure, with spiritual contentment and gratitude from others, and for his servants, whom he should love as himself, and wish for her the same as for himself, to do with her as I wish they would do with me, he took pity on God’s gifts. One instant thought, one instant feeling of stinginess and greed - and the entire mental mechanism, all the peace of the heart collapsed; my face was filled with dishonor and humiliation; Inside I was cramped and enslaved, fire and darkness. I struggled with myself, and for a long time unsuccessfully, because I used not very correct methods to refute the devil’s machinations. Finally I said to myself: the devil is equal to himself in all his wiles. This means that just as lustful thoughts, in their insignificance, weakness and emptiness, are like water bubbles, so are the thoughts of stinginess, and love of money, and malice, and envy, and pride, and despondency, and irritability, and the whole endless string of sins and passions. When I said this with heartfelt conviction, I felt much better, my face cleared up, the oppression was greatly reduced, although the stench of stinginess and greed had not yet completely disappeared from my soul. Moral teaching: 1) one should not have a heartfelt addiction to anything earthly, to any sweetness or jewel, to anything that deceives the eye, taste, hearing, touch and smell; 2) while enjoying sweets yourself, do not feel sorry for them at all for others, just as you do not feel sorry for yourself; 3) when visiting others and treating yourself to others, love to receive them to yourself and treat them cordially, and especially do not spare anything for your family, not excluding the servants; observe unity and mutual love. Master Lover of Mankind! I thank You that You supported me for a long time and victoriously as guests and did not deprive me of Your peace for maintaining purity of heart in Your name! But forgive me the sin of my addiction to earthly sweets and blot it out according to the abundance of Thy mercy, and for the future, grant me to trample this charm victoriously, even if you wake me up! Wake up! November 24th day, 1864. God! Glory to Your name! Glory to Thy truth! Glory to Your grace! Beware of impatience, evil irritability, murmuring and insolence before God, when troubles and distress surround you on all sides to tempt your faith, love and patience, or when you yourself bring them on through your own imprudence, for example, intemperance in food and drink. But humble yourself before the judgment of God’s righteousness and endure the disaster that has befallen you by the will of your heart. Love for God must be daily maintained and kindled by repentance, prayer, fasting, reflection on His countless benefits to us, love for one’s neighbor, forgiveness of offenses, indulgence in his weaknesses, almsgiving to the poor; and love for one’s neighbor should be supported and warmed by kindness from the heart, unfeigned conversation, service, hospitality, forgiveness of insults, indulgence towards his weaknesses, and prayer for him. If you do not take care and make an effort about this, love for both God and your neighbor will little by little dry up. This is confirmed by experience and the word of God. The Kingdom of Heaven, it says, is taken by force, and those who use force take it away [Matt. 11, 12]. Do not give in to despondency, cowardice, murmuring, inner insolence, like Cain, in sorrow, illness, failure in business, but humble yourself, endure and pray. Even if someone comes to you ten times a day, do not be offended by him for that, for think how many times a day you fall before God, and He is not angry with you for that, does not reject you from Himself, and, on the contrary, praises you for such boldness. Do you know what it means to be offended by another for his frequent visits to us? But here's what: we want to live alone on earth [Isa. 5, 8], we cannot tolerate sharing in the world of God, while we all constitute one family of God and we all have the same rights to the gifts of God. Was it not in Your name that we prophesied, and in Your name we cast out demons, and in Your name we created many mighty powers? And then we will confess to them, as I have known you no more: depart from Me, you workers of iniquity [Matt. 7, 22 – 23]. This applies to me, a sinner. I prophesy in His name, I preach, I have cast out demons in His name many times and in His name I have created many powers, but my life is full of abominations and untruths. God! Convert me and I will be converted; guide my path, I pray. Before I even die completely, save me. A heart burdened with a lot of food becomes dull towards everything spiritual, becomes senseless and inert, insensitive; it does not sympathize with Christ crucified, does not feel His infinitely great benefits and mercies of the entire Holy Trinity; It is cold, hostile, and contemptuous towards a person like us. But the covetous man thinks and talks about his profit even in church. Oh, what a thorn is covetousness! It is ready to exchange the Kingdom of Heaven for money, it turns the church into a trading shop; it is ready to sell every person, even father and mother. A covetous person sees nothing beyond his own benefits, just as a glutton sees nothing beyond his belly. It absorbs all his attention. The heart of a glutton is incapable of high and extensive contemplation. The heart of a glutton is incapable of feeling the power or truth of the words of prayer and Holy Scripture or the service of God, because the power and truth of the words of prayer and Holy Scripture is the Holy Spirit, and the heart of a glutton is carnal. Not to have My Spirit... 90 Gluttonous people, hoping most of all for food, deprive themselves of the Spirit of God. Addiction to earthly goods, to the flesh, not only hinders our heartfelt purification and improvement in virtue, which should extend to becoming like the Divine (be holy, for holy am I the Lord your God [Lev. 19:2]), but also constantly pushes us back. We become like those spinning in one place. Meanwhile, he who has thrown off the shackles of worldly passions freely strives forward and day by day succeeds in holiness, in the love of God and for his neighbor. Mother of God, Forerunner, apostles, martyrs, hierarchs, saints, unmercenaries. I am a sinful person! Until now, I still consider the purpose of life to be the enjoyment of food and drink. Until now I have not yet learned, like my Lord, to despise food and drink. Is it the earth or the mucus that interests me? I thank You, Most Holy Trinity, my God, for You did not disgrace the prayers of faith and hope for Your sick servant Konstantin (Skvortsov)! Or what do I say: prayers of faith and hope? I had little faith and hope, for I was bound by the enemy and served a prayer service with a constricted heart. You Yourself, Lord, gave a sign and the prayers of Your servant for someone who was seriously ill, for his healing You did not put him to shame, but You completely put the ethereal enemy, who had a cold during my prayer, to shame, for, while he whispered to me that Inspector Konstantin’s illness was too deep-rooted and stubborn, that his insides were very damaged and the damage could not be corrected without a special miracle of God, and God of miracles does not squander it in vain, that is, without special need - here You, Almighty Our Father, the very next day gave Your servant relief, and from that day he began to recover and recover quickly, and now he has completely recovered and invited me to give thanks to You, and grant us the honor to offer You with a pure and contrite heart, with tenderness, and in the future do not deprive us of our trust in Yours Thy inexhaustible bounties and inexhaustible omnipotence. Wake up, wake up! November 25th, 1864 What sinful madness is ours, our senselessness of adding sins to sins, willy-nilly or unwillingly, and not immediately correcting the sin with the opposite good! If anyone has sinned in anything, we become irritated, instead of covering it up with condescension, for it is as common for a person to sin as it is to breathe; or to explain with meekness, we become embittered with him. Or if I myself have sinned in some way, especially in the eyes of others, then, instead of recognizing my weakness and humble myself before God, asking for His mercy, I indulge in despondency, cowardice and the sin I have already committed, I increase the committed fault more and more, I make the moral ugliness even more ugly. You have sinned in the eyes of others - have the Christian wisdom to make your sin unnoticeable by your calmness and calm doing of your work; sinned - and immediately get up and get better, just as the enemy has cunning and malice to immediately plunge us into a new sin, if he did not defeat us on one occasion. Oh, if only for a moment, or better yet, if not for a moment any sin was active in us! Do not give in to the despondency and despair of the devil, not for a minute, not for a moment, but hope and hope until the end of your days. Now faith, hope, and love remain (1 Cor. 13:13). You have sinned - is it surprising? Say to yourself: I am a sinful person. I suffered from weakness - what’s strange? I am weak by nature. Turned out to be imperfect? But I have never been perfect and I don’t dream that I am perfect. The trouble is that we are sinners, but we want to be thought of as righteous; we are weak, but we want to be considered strong; We are full of shortcomings and imperfections, but we want to be considered perfect. What demonic pride! Try not to notice a mistake made through weakness or unintentionally, but consider it as nothing and continue your work. God! You are my perfection - enlighten and strengthen me. Salvation does not lie in a lot of talking, health does not lie in a lot of eating - salvation lies in the heartiness of words, health and longevity lie in moderation and little eating. Despise the pleasure of food and drink, use food and drink only for satiety. Strictly speaking, the prophecies of the New Testament (as well as the Old Testament), for example, about the second coming, about the resurrection of the dead and the future Judgment, about eternal bliss, about eternal torment, are not prophecies, but visions of actual events, as if now existing, visible and tangible. So they are similar to reality. The Word of God certainly means a thing present, past or future; He does not have empty words, as is often the case with us. So, let us tremble at the prophecies of the Lord, prophetic and apostolic, and let us prepare everything for the final outcome of our affairs. Open the doors of mercy to us - that is, through You, Lady, through Your prayers we, wretched, unworthy, are rewarded with the mercy of the Lord and the forgiveness of sins. You and the only hope imams. Because You are the Mother of God Himself, our most blessed and omnipotent Lady, our Intercessor, given to us by the Lord to intercede, save and cover us from troubles and sins. September 20th, 1864. Ah! How little I have hitherto philosophized systematically about the above, but everything about the earth! I need to constantly think about heavenly things, otherwise I will fall asleep sinfully. I thank You, Lord Jesus Christ, my God, for Thou hast taken away the sin of my malice, condemnation, contempt and stinginess towards my neighbor, towards the friend of my life, which Thou didst bind me. Oh, how varied and varied sin is, how persistent and swift, and how close and fierce! I thank You, miracle of my salvation, Lord, my strength! What am I exactly? – Malice, pride, envy, covetousness, love of money, gluttony, fornication, theft, despondency, cowardice and other passions. The Lord is all that is good in me—my air, my light, my strength! He left everything and followed Him [Lk. 5, 11]. And you don’t want to leave the shops on Sunday to go to the church of God. You cannot work for God and mammon [Matt. 6, 24]. [Leave conversations in church.] Leave all passions: anger, slander, slander, pride. Leave drunkenness, leave the love of money, leave gluttony... Thank You, Lord, for repeated deliverance. Because of the addiction to earthly goods, the Gospel, the Church, and eternal life are neglected. He who is attached to earthly things overthrows and dries up all love for God and neighbor, brings into oblivion the sacrament of redemption, the suffering of the Savior - all this is like nothing to him; in church he thinks about his treasures, because where the treasure is, there is the heart [Matt. 6, 21]. And he is cold and unsympathetic towards his neighbors, even though everyone dies of hunger, but he remains alone. He who is partial to earthly things is stingy, envious, and proud. He who is partial to earthly things perverts the order of things: he considers the insignificant as great, the great as unimportant, the visible as important, the invisible as insignificant, he loves the visible, he repulses the invisible. They call for mass - I don’t want to leave tea, passion for clothes, gluttony, satiety. My flesh says: eating and drinking more, although there is no need, is an acquisition for me. My spirit says: but for me, not eating or drinking without need, and even when feeling hungry, eating and drinking as little as possible is a great gain. And the words of the flesh always turn out to be false, but the words of the spirit always turn out to be fair. The flesh itself, soon after eating food, feels the heaviness and the fact that it has fallen into its nets, and the soul also experiences the truth of its words, for it always finds that it is always more cheerful, freer, calmer, lighter after a little eating and drinking, and its body finds itself healthier, lighter and more free. The whispers and temptations of the disembodied enemy are night dreams, devoid of all reality and significance. Truly, an enemy through falling away from God, Who is truth and life [Jn. 14, 6], all became a dream, although it itself exists, and a terrible ghost of death, although apparently it lives. Christ - truth and life - deliver us from the fierce dreams of this enemy. Tell me: should one have affection and love for the house and household utensils and sweets found in the house, or for the owner of the house? Of course, you will tell the owner of the house. Why do we all have attachment to the world and to the things in it, and not to its Lord? How God punishes for not giving alms! I refused two boys - and, when I came home, I broke the lamp; made it impossible to serve Murashov’s (Alex. Vasilyevich) health mass on November 23rd. Don’t eat fish raw: it’s terribly hard on the soul. How insignificant is your love for your wife when she (love) is broken against a vessel placed in the room with a female eruption, and you walk gloomy from her, not yourself, charmed by Satan, who makes fun of your madness and cowardice and your vain, hypocritical love. Your wife, during your weakness, lovingly carries out your urinary and fecal vessel and is ready to smell its stench and does not seem to feel it, because it is yours; and you just took it and saw such a vessel with its eruption - just as you turned your nose to the side and disgusted the worthless remains of food and even the wife herself! What a sensualist you are, how soulless, unreasonable you are, that because of the earth, because of human filth, you feel dislike for man - this image of God, a member of Christ, your brother, sister! Are you yourself made of gold, of incense? Aren't you the same dirt and stench? Instead of being humble at the sight of human eruption and calling yourself pus, stench, earth, and recognizing everything that is in the soul as a gift from God or recognizing the whole soul as God’s breath - which means that you are nothing - you are proud, disdainful, disdainful, completely forgetting yourself, who you are, what a stench of sins and many different passions, what a bodily stench that you often emit and do not feel it or you smell it with some pleasure, because it is yours! So, consider someone else’s stench as your own and, out of love for your neighbor, endure it as if it were your own, especially if this infirmity happens to a sick person. (Sometimes the weather is conducive to stomach winds.) Let everything with you be done with love (1 Cor. 16:14). Let this be a new lesson for you that you should not believe the absurd whims of your heart - grumbling, proud, evil, contemptuous, voluptuous, scent-loving, beauty-loving. Don't trust it, reject it, despise it in all cases when it confuses you. Like an old, dirty rag thrown in a garbage pit, neglect it. And love every neighbor unfailingly as yourself, and because of carnal impurities do not despise him, do not be hostile to him, do not be annoyed with him. Don’t be voluptuous - voluptuousness in food and drink makes a person effeminate and grumpy. Avoid fragrant teas, perfumes, fragrant and sweet pies. Don’t spoil your beast, I mean your heart; you must always keep it on a bridle, keep it on bread and water, and exercise it in work so that it doesn’t get angry or rage. When visiting the sick with life-giving Mysteries or for unction, our heart is struck by guile, coldness, sometimes anger, contempt and rejection of our neighbor, and it turns out that our heart is pampered with sweets, spacious and comfortable housing, and therefore insensitive, indifferent towards our neighbor, having no love for him, but for his property and secretly thinking about the reward for our labors and wanting money, and not his soul, without compassion for the illness of his soul and body. Oh, damnation! Cultivate in yourself true love for human souls, despising flesh and materiality. We decorate the walls of our homes, we dress wood and stone in precious and beautiful wallpaper, but we neglect the churches not made by hands, about our hearts, with the clothing of virtues - meekness, humility, mercy, non-covetousness, abstinence, purity, simplicity of heart - we do not dress them; We clothe wood and stone, and the members of Christ, and leave His lesser brethren to walk around in rags, ragged (so it’s a shame to look at them - they are so neglected) or barefoot. Oh, our madness! Oh, paganism! O ignorance of the spirit of faith! We ourselves dress luxuriously, magnificently, expensively, we have several unnecessary clothes, but we don’t want to give even one garment to the poor, forgetting the words of the Forerunner: whoever has two clothes, give to the poor [Lk. 3, 11]. What kind of mercy can we expect from the Lord on the Day of Judgment? Oh, holy fools! Oh, virgins who have no oil of good works! Rich people, pampered in their clean and spacious homes (with clothes and sweets) get angry at every trifle: at cockroaches that get on their clothes or crawl on the table; at the incense smoke spreading in their room during prayer or in the church and overshadowing them (oh, madness!), at an unintentional push, made by someone and not causing them any harm, at a word that is not smooth, that does not flatter their subtle pride, at a glance that is not entirely friendly - at everything, at everything that is not according to them. Everything brings us fruit: an apple tree - apples, a grapevine - grapes, a cherry tree - cherries, the earth - many different fruits; kokoshi 92 - eggs, bees - honey, cows - milk, butter, oxen and calves - meat, seas - fish, land - all kinds of fruits; What do we bring to the Lord, what fruits? Do we even have the fruits of repentance if we really repent of our sins? Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire [Lk. 3, 9] (prophecy). Love is strength and power: if we always act with love towards everyone, then without our anger our subordinates or children will respect and fear us. And anger is powerlessness and humiliation of the human spirit. Do not expect joy and consolation from the Lord for deeds of mercy towards your neighbors, but fiery scourges and strong struggle from the devil, who hates all good, and do not be cowardly, but courageously endure the attacks of malice from the devil, or stinginess, involuntary envy, despondency, impurity and other things, and do not at all grumble at God and do not blame the Lord for your temptation. Yes, remember that fiery temptations are necessary for you. And sorrow, and illness, and cramped conditions, and inner powerlessness - everything is from the devil, everything is a dream. Anger and annoyance at someone and inner turmoil also come from the devil. The cross reminds us of the truth that we have been redeemed by the blood of the Son of God from eternal death and are His property, slaves, workers, that we must, through sorrows, illnesses, adversities, strive under the leadership of Christ and His Church to eternal life and not indulge in the pleasures of life: theaters, feasts, concerts, festivities, dancing, various games, not to build paradises for ourselves from our homes, not to dress elegantly and consider all this as soap bubbles and short-term fireworks, but try your best to maintain faith in your heart in the Lord Jesus Christ and purify your heart, crucifying your flesh with passions and lusts [Gal. 5, 24]. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a right spirit in my womb [Ps. 50, 12]. For this is the main task of our life - to cleanse our hearts of passions, and this is a difficult, sorrowful and painful task. Here is our cross! Tolerating other people's mistakes, malice, untruths, pride, envy, slander is also a cross; drunkenness... Lord Jesus! What a blessing of the Spirit in my soul after the uncondemned acceptance of Your most pure and life-giving Mysteries! What peace, what lightness, what space, what boldness before You and before Your people! Oh, if You would confirm me, All-Holy Master, in this state! Oh, that You would grant me the right to walk before You all the days of my life! Let it be, Master! Amen. May Your holy name be glorified! September 14th, 1864 Common attacks of the devil: blasphemy, carnal abomination, malice, pride and contempt, evil impatience and irritability from every trifle, or the caprice of the heart, love of money, gluttony, stinginess, or pity on others for what is pleasant for oneself, despondency, fear, sorrow, crowdedness, hellish fire and darkness with all these sinful things states. But in the simplicity of Your holiness, preserve us, O Lord! Isn’t my brother, like me, destined to enjoy the endless sweetness of heavenly bliss, for which all the sweets on earth were created by the Lord, infinite in number and variety, not worth the little sweetness that is at my meal - sweet tea, jam, pie? Isn’t it worth eating as much as he wants (and he needs very little), while I myself eat and drink as much as I want? Is he worse than me? Also: I often partake of the immortal meal of the life-giving Mysteries of the Body and Blood of the Lord, and he very rarely, therefore I must learn long ago to neglect the worldly, earthly, transitory sweets that delight the corruptible, sinful body, and to place all my pleasure, my whole life, in partaking of the most pure and immortal Mysteries of the Body and Blood of the Lord. But my brother, who is not so often rewarded with holy communion, out of some necessity places his pleasure in perishable brushes. So, you, who are so often rewarded with imperishable food, with what joy you must share with your brother, with your neighbors, corruptible food, because you eat the immortal meal very often, and they only once a year. Glorify the generous Lord, filled with indescribable sweets, and do not spare, do not spare earthly sweets for your brother - the image of God. They are not yours, but God's: the Lord's earth, and its fullness, the universe and all who live on it [Ps. 23, 1]. Judge of the heavenly sweets by the earthly sweets; judge of the God of all sweets, as He is. The Judgment will truly be terrible, because the righteous, omnipotent and all-good Judge will judge His ungrateful, malicious and unfaithful creatures, whom He has blessed infinitely and who have repaid Him for countless benefits with infidelity and countless iniquities, countless insults. God wants to make man a god, but man himself becomes, as if in defiance of the Lord, a senseless beast and the devil himself. Do we care about the Body and Blood of the Lord? We would like teas, coffees, tobacco, wine and beer, meats and various sweets. Can we work for God and mammon, God and the womb? - We can’t. A man cannot serve two masters - he cannot, he cannot, even if he breaks his head. But food is for the belly, and the belly is for food; but God will destroy both (1 Cor. 6:13). The kingdom of God is not food and drink, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit [Rom. 14, 17]. What is the reason for our coldness towards faith, towards the Church? Sensual pleasures - tea, coffee, tobacco, theater, games of cards, chess, bowls. They made the hearts of people coarse, earthly, like dung worms living in manure. They drove people away from faith, from prayer, from the Church. And the heart (spirit) is simple: one very pleasant sip of a sweet drink can upset its balance, one pleasant stream of tobacco smoke. When a rich person, or a noble person, or a boss shakes us by the hand, it is pleasant for us, but when a beggar or poor person takes and shakes our hand or comes very close to us, it becomes unpleasant, we become angry with him: how dare you shake my hand! How did he come so close to me! It’s like a beggar, some kind of evil spirit, plague or cholera! Oh, sinful hypocrisy! Oh, demonic beauty! How long will we despise Christ in the person of the poor? How long will we despise the poor, whose glory is Christ? Oh, we are satiated creatures, forgotten in our contentment! Woe to us who are now saturated, for we will hunger [Lk. 6, 25 ]! But have mercy on us, Lord! If a person wants to be a true member of Christ and a friend of Christ, the Son of God, who became poor for our sake, love the poor and consider it an honor to give them alms, consider it an honor if they caress you, if they shake your hand or kiss you, for in their person is Christ Himself, of whom they are members: we are all one spiritual body, and the Head of this body is Christ. But if one member suffers, all members suffer with it (1 Cor. 12:26). So, do not despise the beggar: he is exactly the same person as you, equal to you and worthy of equal honor with you, and even greater, as he is more conformed to Christ than you, living in wealth, in luxury and abundance and many different pleasures. Which of you is more in the image and likeness of God? I think that the beggar is simple and humble, and not the rich, proud and arrogant, for the rich are characterized by pride and arrogance, just as the poor are characterized by simplicity and humility. All the dignity of man is in the image of God, by which he is honored, and in the degree of likeness to God: the more conformable one is to God, the more venerable he is; the more humble, kinder, simpler someone is, the more honorable; the prouder, meaner, cunning someone is, the more contemptible he is; the more someone endures sorrow, illness, poverty, the more venerable he is, because he bears the cross of Christ; The more joyfully someone lives, without temptations, without sorrows and illnesses, and even in wealth, the less he deserves honor, for he does not bear the cross of Christ and in his heart is the abomination of passions. A self-lover and a materialist, and not a lover of God and a lover of souls or a lover of one's neighbor. Who? - I am. Lord! Teach me to trample on pride and all pleasant materiality. God! Teach me to deny myself. The priest must explain and interpret to the people what fasting should consist of, for even during fasting many do not fast, although they think that they are fasting, because they eat very pleasant, tasty food, tea, coffee, sweets, read all sorts of books, allow games, evenings... Sweets feed and strengthen self-love (and not brotherly love) and addiction to the flesh, laziness, effeminacy, and reluctance to serve God and people. Experience. Tea is a great relaxation for the body and soul, a great bliss for the sin-loving flesh, especially sweet tea. Be careful and drink it a little colder (after mass). Tea is a true disease of the spirit and body, poison, especially if you drink three or four glasses of it in a strong form. Experience. Because of him, I served mass poorly—all in irritation. Do not drink strong tea, especially a lot; drink no more than two glasses. What does it mean to prepare for mass? It means expelling the evil spirit hiding and nesting in the heart from the heart in order to serve the Liturgy calmly, without stumbling, with boldness, loudly. The necessity for the human race of a Savior and His suffering for men. For the sake of our suffering and because of it, we are now delivered through faith and prayer to God from the greatest troubles, namely from fierce sins and passions, from unbearable sorrows and oppression, from great darkness, despondency and relaxation and the powerlessness of sin, from a terrible, murderous decline in spirit that destroys us in the eyes of our own and others, from the most cruel, sometimes joyless torment; This is how we get rid of sorrow, fire, oppression, malice, envy, pride and contempt, stinginess, love of money, gluttony, fornication, passion for clothes, disobedience, rudeness and other things. But what did the Son of God Jesus Christ, who suffered for us and died for us, give us? Having redeemed us from the oath of legal and eternal destruction, He gave us an immortal and most blessed life in God and with God. Having abolished death, he gave us eternal life... having destroyed the oath, he gave us a blessing. 93 We are all in trouble all the time; the darkness of sin envelops us; The sting of the serpent scorches us, the devil oppresses us terribly, but we have no strength to fight him. We constantly need a Savior! Man is weakness, sin, oblivion, that is, he constantly forgets his eternal purpose and before whom he walks and what he does. We must be condescending towards people and their mistakes. Gluttony is the enemy of the Christian faith: it drives faith out of our hearts and, therefore, the Lord Jesus Christ, who dwells in our hearts by faith [Eph. 3, 17 ]; it eradicates heavenly thinking from souls and reigns in earthly things, about earthly things, for example, how to get good tea and drink it, how to make and eat a delicious pie, and so on. Gluttony chains the spirit to the earth, tearing it away from our heavenly Fatherland; it dries up love for God and for one’s neighbor, especially for his soul. Gluttons also have love, but it is carnal love, love at the table, over dishes, over glasses, over cards, and over something else - obviously, this is not Christian love, but carnal love; Both the Sodomites and the antediluvian people lived in such love. Glory to Thee, Lord, my indestructible shield from the arrows and snares of the enemy; just to hold You without letting you go from my heart. We must rejoice in the best, most abundant portion of others, just as we rejoice when we see in ourselves the abundance and good quality of God’s gifts. Only the stinginess and poor quality of things given to others should be regretted. Teach me, Lord! As myself, grant me to love my neighbor in everything; let me rejoice in the abundance and good quality of his food and drink, his clothes, his all blessings, as I rejoice in myself. Generous! Teach me generosity and simplicity of heart! Teach me to wish the best for others as I wish it for myself. Human! Look around: how much has God given you and what do you give back to Him? Heaven serves you, earth serves you all. Come to church: here you see the Savior, His throne, His cross, His most pure Body and Blood and other Mysteries - this is all for you, for your restoration, cleansing and renewal; you see the Mother of God - She, the Most Pure One, was raised for you, so that through Her she could arrange your salvation, and She prays for us day and night; you see saints - these are your prayer books, and so on. For you is the incarnation of the Son of God, for you His teaching, His miracles, His prophecies, His suffering, death on the cross, resurrection and ascension into heaven. For you is the future resurrection of the body, for you is the Judgment, for you is eternal bliss, and for you is eternal torment. For you, man, the Old and New Testaments, for you there is so much economy. Will you really neglect all this, all this majestic and wondrous salvation! Woe to you, adulterers and adulterers! Adulteress! You dry your husband; he doesn’t sleep at night, his work falls through the cracks, food doesn’t go down his throat, he drinks bitter things because of your debauchery. Adulterer! You separate a husband and wife, whom God united, you kill the husband, you keep his wife in constant sin. Oh, judgment without mercy will be upon you from the Lord and Judge of all! I don’t know how you can make up for your guilt. O man, worse than a beast of prey! O man like the devil! Adulterers... will not inherit the Kingdom of God (1 Cor. 6:9 – 10). What is covetousness? When, out of a desire to enrich themselves, they sell a product at a very high price or trade a bad one for a good one. Delve into the state of the poor class of people, the poor population: there are extremely many disorders and misfortunes in it, ranging from drunkenness and adultery, from overcrowding, dirt, cold and various shortcomings; there is no one to look after them, no one to console them, no one to give good advice, while the rich have someone and something to console them: they have elegant, clean, spacious rooms, they have money, and various sweets, and elegant clothes; they have dinners, and evenings with dances, and theaters, and clubs, and festivities; they will always have caresses to console them. But the poor have none of this - on the contrary, for them misfortune drives misfortune. Disadvantages, drinking out of grief or for fun. But why not drink a little sometimes, after all, you can’t still grieve: others are having fun, why shouldn’t they have fun? The only trouble is that they don’t know how to have fun: immoderately, untimely, inopportunely - they will get there with greed, and they will get drunk and start drinking; They have unfaithfulness from the wife to the husband and from the husband to the wife, and often because of the shortcomings and inconveniences of life: the poor husband is afraid to have children, so as not to become poorer, and the evil comrade takes advantage of this and defiles his bed; or they live in cramped conditions, and an evil person takes advantage of the cramped conditions. Is it our estate? Should you only spend it on yourself? Is it for outfits? Is it for decorating apartments? Elder Eutyches is a great elder: he is a seer, many of his words show in him [the knower] of human hearts. You, he says, are afraid to look straight and for a long time at the icon of the Savior and the Mother of God, but no one told him about this and we didn’t show it to him. Indeed, we look evasively at the icon of the Mother of God and even the Savior Christ. Our hearts are shy of the Lord and His Most Pure Mother, whereas we should look more often and kindly at Them, like children at their father and mother. Oh, sinful uncleanness and savagery! Firmly know and remember that, wherever you are: whether at home, in church, or at school, the Lord Himself, the Existing One, is present everywhere at all times, and you or you already exist in Him and by Him, you think, speak, desire, rest in peace, are enlightened, rejoice and do various things, good or simply everyday. The eyes of the heart must constantly be raised to Him, with hope in His mercy. Likewise, the Lady Theotokos, as the Mother of Being, is everywhere and at all times and watches, saves and helps us, Her children, in every good deed, if we trust in Her and call on Her for help. How human nature is exalted, venerable, worthy of reverence, and how we humiliate ourselves with many different passions - pride, contempt, malice, envy, love of money, stinginess, gluttony, laziness, impurity, hypocrisy, contemplation, love of earth, despondency, melancholy, forgetfulness of God, hard-heartedness, deception, lies, blasphemy, deceit and other sins! Remember that human nature is majestic, honorable and worthy! The Christian man is the son of God and the heir of God in Jesus Christ. If it weren’t for sorrows and illnesses or labors and misfortunes and various misfortunes, then our hearts would become cold and fat, and we would forget God, and would be saturated with all sinful uncleanness, and we would perish forever in our sins. Otherwise, the goodness of the Heavenly Father protects us, not though some will perish, but that all will come to repentance (2 Pet. 3:9), and for this he punishes us with His rod, sending upon us sorrows, illnesses and misfortunes, like a cleansing fire, scorching the fleshiness, earthiness, impurity of our hearts - it hurts, but it’s great. The Lord punishes whomever he loves; he beats every son whom he receives [Heb. 12, 6]. When the enemy tempts you with the beauty of the flesh, say in your heart: all flesh is like grass, and all human glory (beauty of the face, precious jewelry, clothing, nobility, wealth) is like the flower of the grass (1 Pet. 1:24). The desire for unnecessary clothes is from the devil: he instills in us an addiction to this vanity, so as not to have God in our hearts, so as not to love Him, but this is corruption. O insignificant flesh, O earth, O pus, O stench, how long will I bless you, reassure you, caress you and dress you up? Some greedy people eat good, pleasant food and drink as much as they want, a lot, but when they happen to give the same food and drink to others, their own, it’s a pity for little, and it seems that they eat and drink a lot and are better than you. What greed and envy! Isn’t it true that sometimes others work harder than us and deserve to eat and drink more and better, not us! And shouldn’t we rejoice in the fact that our household, or our pupils, or servants, or beggars eat and drink better, and not worse than us? Thank God that people like us live no worse than us, and we, sinners, unworthy of God’s gifts, will not be condemned for this. Oh, my damned, senseless flesh! We ourselves make thousands of mistakes - and we willingly excuse ourselves, especially if they were not made in the presence of others, although in the presence of God, but we are attentive and exacting to our brethren, to their errors to the extreme - where is the love for your neighbor as for yourself? If my neighbor is the same weak and sinful me, only in a different face, then why am I lenient and undemanding towards myself, but demanding towards him? Why am I not angry at myself, but angry at him? Why am I not kindled with lust for myself, but for someone else? Why do I wish and seek compassion for myself, but not compassion for him? I myself love it when people sympathize with me, but I don’t sympathize with others? Why don’t I regret anything for myself, but why do I regret it for him? Why don’t I envy myself, but I envy him? Why don’t I despise myself, but I despise him? Why do I feel sorry for myself when I am in pain, or am in misfortune, or do not receive what is due, but I do not feel sorry for my neighbor, who is in the same circumstances? Oh, self-love! Oh, lawlessness! We must always remember that we are one body [Rom. 12:5], and our Head is Christ, the Lamb of God, who took upon Himself the sins of the world. If we forgive people their sins, our Heavenly Father will also forgive us; If you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive you your sins [Matt. 6, 15]. How should an Orthodox Christian treat foreigners of other faiths or non-Orthodox Russian subjects, for example, when visiting or on business? - How we want them to treat us, that is, as their brothers, not paying attention to the difference of religions and not blaming them for the difference of religion or crime and not at all despising them for this, because, firstly, this is a matter of their conscience and, secondly, because many, very many Catholics, Lutherans, Anglicans or Reformed, even Jews, Mohammedans and pagans are better in soul than many of us, although our faith is the only true, right and saving one, of pure confession. The more misguided our brothers, people of other faiths, are about the faith, the more we must regret them, the more love we must show for them, the more we pray for them, so that the Lord will enlighten them and bring them into the depths of His Church. So, be careful that your heart does not put your neighbor’s faith of his wrong confession into a knot or a log and does not make this circumstance a reason for dislike towards him, but be the more kind and affectionate towards him, the more he deserves compassionate love according to his faith or confession and the more perfection the Lord demands from you, as from a healthy member of His, a member of His true Church! Oh, how wise and holy Orthodox Christians should be in all their lives! How they must refrain from condemning their non-Orthodox brethren and from the spirit of hostility towards them! Let anyone who thinks he stands beware lest he fall (1 Cor. 10:12). What is the reason for the non-unification of the Churches? – Pride, enmity, envy, condemnation. Meekness and humility, love and mutual respect, sincere goodwill would have united the Churches long ago. There is nothing more convincing than the voice of meekness and humility, love and sincere goodwill. Remember that our Creator and Lord Himself accepted and sanctified all parts and forms of our body, and look holy at all members of the human body; remember also the creation of us in the beginning by the hands of God, as it is said: Thy hands created me and created me [Ps. 118, 73]. How crafty and vile we are, with what strange dreams and ghosts the devil surrounds our mind and heart, that we cannot directly, calmly, without evil and blasphemous thoughts, look at the most pure face of the Most Blessed Mother of God and our Mother by grace! Also, due to impurity of heart, we sometimes cannot look calmly, directly, with purity at human faces, for example, at the faces of beggars to whom we often give alms, at the faces of beautiful young men and girls or women. Oh, what snares of the dreamer of the devil we are entangled! What ghosts we are surrounded by! May the Truth of God shine in us! What is our love for our neighbor? In forgiveness of insults, in apologizing for his mistakes, in mercy and alms to the poor, in compassion for the unfortunate, in consoling the sad, in meek and affectionate treatment of everyone, in severity towards inveterate sinners, in self-sacrifice out of love for one’s neighbor and in enduring hardships and troubles for the sake of his peace and benefit. Love must constantly dwell in our heart as its essence. I praise You, Father, Son and Holy Soul, my God, for You have delivered me today from the oppression of the enemy and from his dreams. The Most Holy Lady Theotokos is a mountain of holiness, purity, greatness, firmness, and intercession. We are reeds shaken by the wind, She is an immovable mountain; Compare a reed to a mountain: which is larger and harder, and how much larger and harder? So, we are reeds - She, the All-Immaculate, is the mountain. This name was given to Her, the Most Blessed One, by the Lord God Himself. This name gives us great hope and joy. We must, calling on Her in our prayers, hope in Her, like on a stone mountain, firmly, without hesitation, for She is the all-powerful and quick Intercessor of the Christian race. So, She is a mountain of shrines, and I would even like to be a grain of sand, if only I were a saint; She is a mountain of greatness and hardness, and through Her prayers I can become even a small stone, but only hard, not woody, 94 which is broken into rubble. Most pure! Cleanse me with the hyssop of Your prayers, Most Holy One! Sanctify, Great One, magnify for the glory of Your Son. Unshakable Chamber of the Almighty! Strengthen us, wavering, unstable, fickle. Intercessor of the Christian race! Always stand up for us, enlighten us, guide us on the path of truth and virtue, and do not allow the primordial enemy to overcome us and disgrace our faces, so that carnal passions captivate our minds and hearts. Call your children children as simply as they call you father; caress your children in simplicity of heart, without hesitation, so that otherwise the enemy does not stop you with anger and laugh at you. How can I not be tempted by the devil, who acts in the flesh and through the flesh, wounding and insulting my soul! He tempts me with the beauty and attractiveness of the flesh and the desire for it, or with its ugliness and contempt and anger towards the unseemly, or in general with anger and irritability towards my neighbor because of insignificant errors or blunders that should not be imputed to anything; or stinginess, or envy, or... but what should I say? He tempts me with everything, with all the arrows of hell he tries to hurt me. God! Don't leave me. Let me know the one holy love that is from You. My flesh is truly a snare of the devil, a friend of Belial, ready for the services of his servant: the enemy irritates, angers me through an unpleasant smell, for example, tobacco smoke blown in my room by tobacco smokers; he makes me angry with my neighbor, with my brother, who often comes to me and mercilessly eats my sweets, although sweets are harmful to me both spiritually and physically, and although my brother does not eat or drink much of them; he burns and scorches me with all possible absurdities; he kindles in me a lustful passion and, oppressing and darkening, scorches me, who does not deign to it. I am almost constantly in struggle, in cramped conditions, darkened, in fire - and therefore in prayer, in hearing from the Lord, in merciful help, in peace for a short time (until a new temptation), in lightness, triumph and joy. In everything let there be thanksgiving to the Lord! One thing I remember is that both the devil and his various intrigues are a lie, a dream, a ghost, nothing. My child! Everything visible is a creature - do not attach your heart to anything, but cling with your heart to the Creator of everything and your Creator. If you cleave to the creature, your heart will grieve, be confused, be in cramped conditions, embittered and darkened, but if you cleave to the Creator, then you will be calm, joyful, bright in mind and heart. Truly, from my constant experience I tell you. Today I regretted sugar for the servants (it seemed that my wife had given a lot), and my heart was greatly embarrassed, such darkness and powerlessness took possession. But then I prayed to the Lord about sin, I realized that it is insane to cleave to creatures or to sweets, but we must cleave to Him alone, the All-Creator, the source of our life - and from this consciousness I suddenly felt light, easy; my heart united with the Lord, who is not far from each of us [Acts. 17, 27]. Amen. You must love your neighbor as you love yourself, and not allow yourself to see various knots in his eye, but rather look more often at your own log in order to remove it. When the weak people of this world often interact with people (for example, elders) who are firm in piety, subsequently, due to the action of the spirit of malice, the former become envy of the latter, who would like them not to have firmness in piety, in which they, worldly people, are weak, and some kind of malice and contempt for them appears, cannot tolerate the sight of them and maliciously seeks in their words and actions something illegal in order to have a reason despise and reject them, instead of praying for them to the Lord, who straightens our steps [Ps. 36:23], and with meekness and love, without embarrassment and the spirit of malice, reproach, contempt and gloating, notice to them about their actual weakness... Let everything be done with you with love, it is said (1 Cor. 16:14). If a person falls into any sin, you who are spiritual, correct him in the spirit of meekness... [Gal. 6, 1]. Do not reproach an elder, but exhort him as a father (1 Tim. 5:1), especially one who is ready to accept gentle advice filled with love. I am God’s vessel, not the devil’s, created for God’s works—yes, I do God’s works, but in no way do the devil’s. God! Help! The devil continually forces us to look for some sinful bitches in our brother (as if we ourselves are sinless) in order to give rise to enmity with him, although our brother sins - he sins with God, just as we sin with God, the common Judge and Rewarder of all, who suffered for our sins and died and who alone has the power to leave them to those who believe in Him and repent. We are all sinners, all unpaid debtors, we are all perplexed by any answer before God about our sins and are forced to cry out only: Lord, have mercy on us; We all stand or fall for the one Lord, we are all subject to the same weakness, therefore we must look at the sins of our brothers as our own and pray for them as for our own, may the Lord have mercy on us all. Walk in love [Eph. 5, 2]. What kind of love is it for your neighbor when you are satiated, and your neighbor is hungry due to your hardness of heart, when your meal is filled with many dishes, and he has barely a daily piece of bread? Milk is fornication. Meat too. Sweets too. Oh, you, my most absurd enemy, how can I still follow you, obey you? You arm me with anger at others because they are worth all respect, love and affection; You create in me a false shame of what is good and what constitutes my true glory. Lord Jesus, our hero! May Your weak vessel, by Your grace, always disgrace and put to shame the deceitful, absurd, dreamy opponent of Yours and ours - wake up, wake up, wake up, our Creator and Master Lord! God! Let love be the creature of our hearts and never be this monster of malice gnawing at us! Blessed are You among women [Lk. 1, 28]. This is a great praise to the Mother of God from God Himself. Eve brought upon herself and the entire human race a curse by her disobedience, and the Blessed Virgin Mary attracted blessings upon herself and the human race by her obedience. Blessed are You among women - that is, the Heavenly Father Himself praises You for Your holiness, purity, obedience. What is a priest's blessing? – Blessing of Jesus Christ and together with our Heavenly Father. Adam brought a curse on himself and on the human race, but the Lord Jesus Christ, the new Adam, earned us a blessing, and through the priests he teaches this blessing to everyone who wants to accept it. But the devil is disgusted by this, and he inspires many priests not to teach it, and to the laity not to accept it, but blessed are those who receive it. The Divine Forerunner was filled with the Holy Spirit while still in his mother's womb. The Most Holy Virgin Mary was also in the womb of Her mother and then throughout her life, and for the conception of the Son of God in Her all-sanctified womb, the Holy Spirit especially came upon Her and the power of the Most High overshadowed Her. The Holy Spirit Himself, all-sanctifying and giving life to all, was united with Her in the closest and closest combination from that day and forever, and anointed Her all with the fragrance of the holy, and established Her all unshakably for endless ages, like adamant, like a pillar or like a mountain. Sanctify us too - Your heritage, Lady Theotokos, confirm us too to pass this present age unwaveringly, untempted from the evil ones. Amen. Do we Christians have the Spirit of God within us? – We have it by the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, for the sake of faith in Him, for the sake of baptism in Him and anointing with holy myrrh, especially for the sake of communion of His Holy Mysteries. He who eats My Flesh and drinks My Blood abides in Me, and I in him [Jn. 6, 56], and where Jesus Christ is, there is the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of Christ. Do you not know that you are the church of God, and the Spirit of God lives in you? (1 Cor. 3:16). It is not in vain that we pray to the Holy Spirit: come and dwell in us, and cleanse us from all filth, and save, O Blessed One, our souls. He dwells in us and walks with us, according to the Scripture: I will dwell in them and walk in them (2 Cor. 6:16). Therefore, we, Christians, need to keep both soul and body pure, beware of pride, malice, stubbornness, disobedience, envy, love of money, gluttony, fornication, lies and deception. We must constantly remember Whose churches we are, Whose dwelling place, and also that the Holy Spirit is simple, like a holy thought, like a holy feeling of the heart, and that one unrighteous thought is an abomination to the Lord; Therefore, every Christian must be simple in the Lord, or whole, 95 like a dove. Give it, Lord! And if we sin and lose holy simplicity, we must immediately repent to the Lord who fulfills everything and who listens to the prayer of the one praying in every place, reading, for example, the penitential psalm of David with all our souls - and our sin will be forgiven, and again we will be a dwelling of the All-Holy Spirit. Let us only love God with all our hearts and all our thoughts, and our neighbor as ourselves, desiring for everyone what we want for ourselves, and not doing to others what we do not want for ourselves from others. May we walk in this life with all purity before the face of the Lord Almighty and All-Fulfiller. Do not humiliate, do not despise any person as the work of God’s hands, as the image of God. Can you do something like that? What am I saying! Can you make even one hair? Oh, foolish heart! Grouchy! Disdainful, blind! I thank You, marvelous in power, Lord, who has strengthened me with Your Divine Mysteries beautifully, with appropriate sublimity of spirit and blessing, to conduct both classes (on Saturday, September 5). I thank You, for Thou hast given Thy youths from the heart to be called children, and for Thou hast bowed their hearts to me. God! Have mercy on me, I have sinned against You many every hour. Amen. “In Thy simplicity, Lord, preserve me,” I said internally to the Lord, and the Lord preserved me, although the enemy burst into my chest with impudence and cruelty, seducing me with a moment of looking at the boy. The great thing is simplicity. And at home, with guests, the Lord preserved me in my simplicity and greatness. Thank you for the gift of His goodness and omnipotence! Do not be upset with your wife, although she sometimes says something empty, for example about food and drink, about treating guests, about clothes; Respect her human dignity, the image of God and your friend. Always be meek and kind to her. Gracious One, that is, all of You is a good gift and everything in You is a good gift of the Lord, just as Mary the Blessed Virgin said about Herself that the Lord looked upon Her humility [Lk. 1, 48]. O deified Virgin, through Whom we are deified, glory to Thee! You are a ray of the intelligent Sun, a luminary of the unsetting Light. You are lightning, enlightening souls. Most pure vegetation 96 of the most pure Creator and Planter and Nurturer, Mother of God Mary, make me from a vile vessel of the devil into a vessel of God’s grace, a vessel of holiness; make me also pure vegetation, for You can do everything, O all-powerful Lady! Look at my wretchedness, poverty, misery, blindness and nakedness and do not leave me to be forever a delight to the devil. Our flesh is a true devil: to caress it means to caress the devil, to strengthen him to our detriment; Gluttony completely eradicates faith and fear of God and makes a person carnal, devilish. What did the Sodomites and Gomorrites, Noah's contemporaries, die from, or what did they first become corrupted and become carnal from? Jesus Christ explained this by saying about them: yadyah, piyahu... [Lk. 17, 27], - that is, from gluttony. Therefore, it is necessary to give the flesh only what it needs - bread and stew. Give us this day our daily bread [Matt. 6, 11]. These words of the Savior teach abstinence and the consumption of harsh, not tasty food. The delicacy is contrary to the spirit of the Christian faith. If we live by the Spirit, then we must walk by the Spirit [Gal. 5, 25]. Do not turn cares for the flesh into lusts [Rom. 13, 14]. Everything that is pleasant for the flesh should be trampled upon and everything unpleasant should be treated as nothing, or, better, considered the most pleasant, because what is unpleasant (but harmless) for the flesh is useful for the soul, the most essential part of our being. Those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and lusts [Gal. 5, 24]. Our flesh loves peace and bliss, and this is harmful both for the flesh and for the soul; one must force oneself to work and a harsh life; we must remain calm in our souls when someone or something disturbs the peace of our body or when they shower us with smoke, attack our sense of smell with a stench, or give us a jolt. Despise the flesh as earth, dust, pus, and be diligent about the soul, things that are more immortal. The lesson for you is not to reproach the elders and not to say in bitterness what the enemy suggests. Pay attention to yourself. It is said, do not reproach the elder, but exhort him like a father (1 Tim. 5:1): although you see sins in him, do not reproach him: you are like this and that, you say this and that, you do this, but beg like a father; pray that he beware if he sins in anything. Judge not, lest ye be judged [Matt. 7, 1]. When you reproach an elder for embarrassment, know that the enemy is working and [speaking] in you: he teaches you to see a bitch in your brother’s eye, and not to notice your own log. But his neighbor stands or falls to his Lord [Rom. 14, 4]. I thank You, Lord, for You have delivered me from the oppression of stinginess and from stinginess itself and have pacified my heart. Why does the earth and waters, like a light ball, rush through the air, rotating around itself and around the sun? Because it is filled inside with fire - the lightest substance, rushing upward with irresistible force, as we see in fires, in stoves and on a candle; also because the air atmosphere oppresses it evenly from all sides, and, finally, from the attraction of the sun. Wonderful are Your works, O Lord [Rev. 15, 3 ]! Fire, earth, water, air, light - the order of the elements. Fire-breathing mountains. What the devil vaguely suggests to us is not, no, nothing; and what God peacefully inspires, the Word of God speaks, or the Church, the writings of the Holy Fathers - that is, is the solid truth, peaceful, life-giving. Therefore, always be simple and believe in the truths of the faith revealed in the word of God and in the writings of the holy fathers, without a doubt, and you will be enlightened and at peace, and under no pretext do not listen to vague whispers from around the corner, thieves’ suggestions and inciting the spirit of lies, slander, malice, considering them for nothing, and you will not be restless, gloomy, despondent. Amen. May the man of God be complete, equipped for every good work (2 Tim. 3:17). Love does not get irritated, but covers everything (1 Cor. 13:5, 7) - and we, even if someone has displeased us in some way or offended us in some way, we become irritated and not only do not cover, but falsely exaggerate the faults of our neighbor. Oh, self-love! Oh, lack of love for one's neighbor! You were offended by your brother's quarrelsome voice. Know that a quarrelsome voice can sometimes be very pleasant, because it comes from a simple and believing, loving soul, but a harmonious voice is unpleasant and disgusting if it comes from an evil, passionate heart, in which malice, envy, pride and other passions smoke. God looks at the heart, and man looks at the face, at the voice, and so on. It is also necessary to look at whether a famous person has learned to sing, whether he has a naturally good organ or not, whether he is young or old, whether he exercises his voice, whether he has the time, motivation, means, etc. for this. The voice depends on many conditions. But there is no greater disorder and greater nonsense before God than the devil’s malice, for it is the devil himself. Just let your eye be [Matt. 6, 22; OK. 11, 34]. Do not be embittered by anyone’s disorder or insult, but with meekness and kindness endure all disturbances, mistakes, and insults. If a warrior makes a mess, then the leader should not make a mess either. Otherwise, it will become common to you and in its consequences more harmful. Or if one sin has been committed, then it is reckless to add another to it, for example, despondency, irritation, hatred and others. Eternal and real torment for evil spirits and sinners serves as a lesson for us how criminally, impudently and insanely it is to insult the Creator, endlessly us and these once bright spirits who have not beneficent, while they should have eternally thanked and glorified Him and while they could very well recognize this duty with their bright mind and had all the means, all the strength to do so. This execution also teaches us to be grateful to our Creator for everything and to use our abilities and powers for the glory of His holy name and mutual benefit. The eternal execution of evil spirits also teaches us that there will undoubtedly be eternal execution for unrepentant sinners. Do not forget to always respect every person - and the last beggar, because he is the image of God, another you, and because he is deified by the Lord Jesus Christ. Do not for a moment hate anyone in vain, except for hatred of God and people; but even then, hate sin and the devil in them, and have pity on them and shed warm prayer for them. We must look at the end of all things, at what they will be, and not at what they are for a while, and then their charm for us will disappear; and we must look at our bodies in the same way, that is, we must imagine more often what they will be and what the bodies of many of our brothers and sisters who have died have become. We accompanied many of them after death to their place of eternal rest and what did we see? - Disgrace, pus, stench. When we pray to God, we remind ourselves every time that God is the source of our being and life and all the blessings spiritual and physical, that He is our Father and Provider and Judge - now and after the resurrection, that He is our light, our peace, our strength and strength, our space and our future rest and bliss. Prayer teaches us to humble ourselves before the Author of our existence, to hope in Him; it arouses and supports the feeling of God’s good deeds towards us, inspires ardent, childlike love for Him; it cleanses and enlightens the heart and strengthens the strength of our spirit with Divine grace. According to the Lord Jesus Christ’s acceptance of humanity into the closest, indissoluble unity with Himself, everything that we render to man and humanity in His name is accepted by Himself as being rendered to Himself, just as for the sake of the union of humanity with His Divinity, one minute or one hour of His suffering is equal to an entire eternity of our torment and has infinite merit before God, so that it is as if all humanity was tormented in Him for all eternity. Glory to the Lord who is infinite in everything. Just as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me... [Matt. 25, 40]. He is not ashamed to call them brethren, saying: I will proclaim Your name to My brethren; in the midst of the church I will sing praises to You [Heb. 2, 11 – 12]. He made Him who knew no sin to be a sacrifice for sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God (2 Cor. 5:21). Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for us [Gal. 3, 13]. We study the history of the Old and New Testaments, but as it goes through without one general idea (which the teachers of the law do not constantly indicate in every lesson), with tedious detail, then piety in youth and in Christians in general not only does not increase, does not flare up, but, on the contrary, falls and cools. What is the main idea of ​​the story? - Faith in God and obedience to God makes us content and happy in all circumstances of life, and lack of faith, disbelief and disobedience to God and His Bride - the Church, the nurse, 97 is the cause of all kinds of discontent and unhappiness; or: righteousness is the source of our bliss - sin is the source of all possible evils in life and the culprit of eternal torment. In every passion, oblivion of God, lack of trust in Him, self-righteousness, our extreme pride and addiction to our flesh and dislike, disdain for our neighbors are manifested, for example, in pride, ambition, malice, envy, stinginess, gluttony, covetousness. Give everything to yourself, and nothing to others, or others live in dishonor, in troubles, sorrows, misfortunes, illnesses, in hunger, cold, in nakedness, in ignorance, in vices. Oh, how the devil’s malice has taken possession of us! Despise the flesh, hate your soul in order to love God and your neighbor. Be benevolent, generous, avoid delicacies, in general the bliss of the flesh: delicacies strongly fight through the flesh on the soul, the heart cleaves to delicacies, instead of clinging to God and neighbor. Why was sin allowed in the kingdom of the All-Holy and All-Good? So that rational and free creatures, having experienced the destruction and torment of sin, learn to value goodness and become established in good will; so that, having experienced death, they learn to value life; so that, having learned the abomination and absurdity of uncleanness, we love holiness and, in general, so that we learn from the opposite - from sin and its consequences - to appreciate the infinitely great gifts to us of the Lord God and do not become arrogant, do not be proud of the gifts received from the Lord, do not dream of being compared with Him, like Dennitsa. Without misfortune and sin, we would not know the full value of God's blessings. We see this from experience. When we live in all contentment, in luxury, in pleasures, we soon become arrogant, satiated with the blessings of life, and lose the feeling of gratitude to the giver of all blessings - God; and when we experience poverty, various calamities, adversity, illness, sorrow, humiliation - then we learn the full price of abundance, peace of mind, health and all the blessings that we receive freely from the Lord, then we become more humble and fall in prayer to God and do not look down on others and with contempt. Yes, man, you must always humble yourself and say within yourself: I am nothing, everything is God, nothing is mine, everything is God’s; my daily needs, what is necessary for me this day, and that is not mine, God’s; The very labors with which I earn my daily bread are God’s blessing to me, for they are necessary for my mental strength, which seeks activity and is pacified by this activity, and is also necessary for bodily health, which is strengthened by labor. In particular, the torment of sin serves as a science not to cleave to all-destructive sensuality, but to the one God - the Giver of Life, in Him to place life and bliss, as in our first principle, prototype, primary source; The largest part of sins and sinful torments comes from our heart’s addiction to sensory goods: food, drink, money, clothes, housing, and so on. Despise the flesh, it will pass away. There will be pus, the earth will be the body and everything that is for the body. Food is for the belly, and the belly is for food; but God will destroy both (1 Cor. 6:13). Avoid sweets, even a little, eat rough food. Sweets are fighting in our souls terribly. I experienced it myself. The heart is extremely attached to them, hurts by them, places life and pleasure in them, turns away from God, from its neighbor, neglects the Lord and its neighbor, is careless about its own salvation and the salvation of its neighbors. Crucify your flesh and you will revive your soul; If you indulge in sweets, and clothes, and sleeping on a soft bed, and sitting on soft chairs, and traveling in carriages and droshky, and living in richly decorated and furnished chambers of your flesh, then you will kill your soul. Look at the Savior born in a manger: what kind of wisdom He teaches us - us, proud, magnificent, wanting to get rich, dreaming of clothes and all kinds of decorations, satiated, straying from simplicity into many different wickedness! Look at our spiritual Doctor and get medical treatment if you recognize your mental illness. Here your Savior extends a helping hand to you - save yourself if you realize that you are close to the abyss in which there is eternal destruction. Confess that you are a sinner, that you are perishing and may perish forever - and the Savior is ready to help you if you believe in Him, who came into the world, suffered for us, died, rose again, ascended and is ready to come again to judge the living and the dead. Find out who is the culprit of sin, what a terrible monster, what he wants from you through sin: he wants you to constantly insult your Creator - God, Father, Provider, Benefactor, Savior, your belly, your breath, your everything - and hate every sin and despise its parent (sin), this all-evil, proud, envious, lying murderer, a dreamer, a freak, who has distorted himself completely and become a perfect enemy of God and people. God! Protect Your creations. God! Do not despise the work of Your hand [Ps. 137, 8 ]! How, vile, nasty, completely unclean, I will flow with fear, humility, surprise and reverence to the Most Pure, Most Blessed Virgin Mary, who perfectly fulfilled the commandments of the Lord and His Son! September 7th. I thank Thee, Lord Jesus Christ, my God, for Thou hast preserved me unconquered from the foul and evil enemy for two classes, although these ethereal villains rushed at me with all their fury. I thank You for the sake of my short prayer: in Your simplicity, Lord, preserve me, you have preserved me. When I was with Elder Eutyches, I felt violence from the devil the whole time I was with him, and then, when I left him, I felt the same violence and said: get away from me, Satan, I will not give in to you - then he, having lost hope of success, recoiled from me, and I felt at ease. I thank you for everything, my Lord! But in what I stumbled with this elder, forgive me, O Savior, who commanded to rebuke those who fall into sins seventy times seven times [Lk. 17, 4 ], even 98 as is Thy majesty, so is Thy mercy! My God! For Thy name's sake, remove temptations from me! Savior, my light, enlighten me! So and so, you say, sins, exalts himself, and humiliates others, therefore I hate him. This is a demonic pretext for malice. Stop serving the devil. Such and such falls to his Lord, not to you, and he will be raised up, for God is able to raise him up [Rom. 14, 4]. Better pray for him if it's true. Note: for serving others for the sake of Christ there is a great reward in eternity and eternal. My reward is with Me [Rev. 22, 12]. Serve your neighbors as you serve yourself; Don’t be afraid, the Lord will not allow you to be tempted more than you can, everything is calculated. After labors it is pleasant to receive in eternity an irreplaceable, endless peace. A priest who is busy with something everyday during the service, 1) cannot be busy with God, contemplating His benefits to us sinners, His immeasurable love for us, His atonement, cannot appreciate His sacrifice on the cross, 2) cannot sincerely love his neighbors, for whom he must fervently pray, as for himself, even more than for himself. Impatience, irritability and anger towards one's neighbor come from the pride of the one being irritated and from disrespect for the person or persons with whom one is angry; Therefore, one must have a humble mood of spirit and respect for the personality of every person. Otherwise, we are ready to break a person and mix him with dirt for a trifle. Oh, devilish malice! Oh, impatience! Oh, effeminacy! We don’t want to bear anything on ourselves! Lord Jesus! What have you endured, endured for us! Oh, unworthy, indecent we are Your servants! It’s as if in spite of You, in spite of Your patience we are impatient, in spite of Your goodness we are evil, in spite of Your meekness and humility we are proud, in spite of Your self-exhaustion we are pampered. As lightning flashes (so quickly and simply) and as you think with your mind, so true, so simple and quick is the truth that all passions, all movements of evil and impurity and all sin in our hearts come from the devil and are nothing, a dream, a ghost - and there is nothing to think about. Write on your heart the commandments of the Living God: You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself [Lk. 10:27], and fulfill them with all your might all the days of your life, so that you may have peace of mind, space in your heart and light in your mind. These commandments were not given for the purpose of remaining in [writing], but for fulfillment. This is not the word of man, which is sometimes wasted for idle talk, but the word of God, creative, constructive: it requires fulfillment. Do this and you will live [Lk. 10, 28]. Children, brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers! Write these commandments on your hearts. Woe to those who do not fulfill them: they will reap the fruits of death in their hearts. What a game pathetic man is in this world! On the one hand, he is offered the commandments of the living God, by fulfilling which he can be pleased with himself and happy; on the other hand, standing next to him is an inseparably strong and all-evil seducer, who instigates him to constantly break these commandments and, due to his weakness and absent-mindedness, as well as human pride, almost always succeeds in his plans and thus plunges the careless and self-loving person into fierce sorrow and oppression, or into spiritual death. The commandment of God says: love every person, but the devil almost constantly inclines him to anger towards his neighbor and terribly wounds him with malice; also to envy, pride, stinginess and other passions and torments with these passions. The stumbling block for us is our neighbors! And I would be glad not to succumb to sin, but the arrows of passions strike the heart instantly, and you cannot suddenly pull them out of there when they are already pierced. Only sincere repentance removes them and returns peace to the soul. But repentance does not always happen soon. Oh, damned evil! Oh, terrible monster - evil! O most dear and all-loving Savior, who came to take us [...] out of this eternal trouble! Glory, thanksgiving and worship to You from all Your faithful! Oh, what terrible torment awaits unrepentant sinners in eternity! Their cruelty is sufficiently briefly described by the Savior. He - the eternal truth - did not like to talk a lot, and he did not come to talk a lot and eloquently and flatteringly, but to tell the truth briefly, simply and forcefully. What did He say about the severity of eternal torment? He said: There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth [Matt. 8, 12, etc.]. When they cry and grind their teeth? When they cannot endure any illnesses or sorrows due to extreme pain or mental distress. Woe! In serving God and in communicating with people, remember the following Christian rule: despise the flesh and everything carnal - it passes away, but be diligent about souls, things that are immortal, or about souls - things that are immortal. It sheds a lot of light on life and our relationship to God and things to us, on the soul and its purpose, and on our relationship to people like us. We must despise the things of this world, to which our heart and our very passionate body can cleave, and be diligent about our soul and the souls of our neighbors, sparing nothing material for them if they need it. I thank You, Lord Jesus Christ, my God, for delivering me from vain enmity against my brother through my prayer. Oh, what enmity and demonic storm has engulfed me, Lord! What an embarrassment! And lo, You have sovereignly delivered me, taking away enmity and confusion from my darkened heart! What calmness, what lightness, what boldness before my guests, what gaiety and courtesy, what a solemn appearance You gave me after the victory over the ethereal enemies in the power of Your fortress! I will write a note of gratitude to You, Master, Master Lord Jesus Christ, my Savior! God! Free me forever from vain anger at my brother. Christian suppers have a purely pagan character: they gather to play cards, eat and drink, talk idle talk, but nothing meaningful from anyone. Are these people called to God's portion? 99 For the sake of our purification and salvation, the Lady was born; for our sake, for the sake of our sanctification and salvation, she entered the church of the Lord; For our sake, she was brought up in it, engaged in prayer, reading the word of God and handicrafts in order to become worthy, the most pure Mother of God the Savior, teaching us most of all to learn in God’s word, in prayer and in useful deeds. For us, for our salvation, for teaching us to sacrifice everything for the Lord, She dedicated Her virgin purity to the Lord... for us the annunciation was made to Her by the Heavenly Messenger. For us, She conceived, carried in the womb and gave birth to God in the flesh; for us she brought Him up in the most worthy way; For us, She perfectly fulfilled all of Her highest service to God the Word, who became incarnate from Her, and together to God the Father and the Son. For us, She had compassion for the suffering Savior on the cross. How will we repay Her for all this? - Humility, purity, mutual love. Lightning to the Lady! Save me. Theotokos Lady! You are the good land, which has grown for us the Spike of Life, cleansing, nourishing and reviving us, sinners, hungry and dead in sins! What shall we render to the Lord, who has been so kind to us, and to You, who has given us such a priceless ear? - We will sing to You without silence, and You teach us, You cleanse us, sanctify us, make us wise, strengthen us. Remember that for the voluptuous and sin-loving flesh, various kinds of bitterness, or mortification, are necessary, even hellish violence of the devil is necessary, so that from this violence you know all the bitterness, all the monstrosity, all the absurdity, savagery, all the ugliness, the madness of sin. After various embitterments of the flesh and soul, they always become more humble, more chaste, more patient, and more kind. Every sin comes from doubt and forfeit in the opposite virtue and a descent into the devilish element; for example, anger comes from doubt in love and lack of stability in it and the descent into the devilish region. This is how doubt in the truth of God is destructive for the soul! Love is like lightning! And enmity is like lightning, only rougher and whiter and not so fast. My accursed flesh is enraged by excess smoke (for example, incense in a church), an unpleasant smell, the cry of, for example, babies, unpleasant food, an unintentional push, the awkwardness of others or delays intentional or unintentional, the rude and simple appearance of people, rude and uneducated words, the simple appearance of wooden houses (how proud and magnificent!). Don't pay attention to her stupid whims, to her poufs. But the opposite is good for our souls - the Lord knows. He who suffers in the flesh ceases to sin, says the Apostle (1 Pet. 4:1). Sometimes the flesh needs the unpleasant, that is, for all the senses. You need to suffer and endure, and not bask: in bliss the soul relaxes and becomes infected with various sins, and the body relaxes. Experience and the word of God. What was I and what have I become? I was a poor man, a shoe cover, a gray man, a torn caftan, a homeless man, a vile fornicator, a dark ignoramus, but he became rich, now I walk around in oiled boots - and it doesn’t matter, I dress in beautiful cassocks, cassocks, I have a large and magnificent apartment; I often unite with the Most Pure Life-Giver Himself, the Creator and the Lord, Who cleanses and sanctifies me, pacifies me, enlightens me, delights me, strengthens me in faith and good dispositions and deeds; taught in all the wisdom of God and man, elevated to the highest degree of priesthood, I stand at the very throne of the Lord of glory and by the grace, gift and power of the Lord I perform divine services and the Sacraments; I teach the people of the Lord, the sheep of His pasture, the words of eternal life, I guide them to the eternal Kingdom, prepared for those who love the Lord from the foundation of the world. So, my Lord, my Benefactor, my Savior! I was nothing, I was spiritually corrupted, just as now I have not yet put off the old man with his deeds. You renew and perfect me, You bring me to the eternal refuge; complete Your bounties upon me, most kind and generous Lord. You, Whose bounty is in all Your works, do not despise Your hand [Ps. 137, 8]. Wake up! Wake up! Remember how the dumb animal, the lion, was grateful to Elder Gerasim for taking the knitting needle out of his paw. 101 Are you grateful to Elder Eutyches for the fact that with fatherly love he cured your evil boil with his [descent]? Remember also his first appeal, his wise and insightful words, which he spoke as if he were in authority, but do not look at the satanic renunciation: the devil always slanders pious and virtuous people and persecutes them, like Christ the Savior, like all pious people. If the devil inspires strong vain hatred towards someone, then this is a sure sign that that person has a lot of good in himself. It has been proven by experience, and the word of God shows examples. Saul and David. The devil has produced thousands of troubles, disorders, and absurdities and is still producing them in the human race and in individual states, possessions, cities, villages, families, in every person. Sad picture. Who will escape the enemy's snares? – Faith and humility. What does every sad consequence of any sin, any passion, pride and arrogance teach us to avoid and teach us to live according to the saving commandments of God, to reject the will of the devil and to live according to the will of God? – The Lord gave and gives people the knowledge of sin from its fruits. If your flesh becomes enraged by something in church, or at home, or in the gymnasium, or at a party, something, perhaps, is not according to it - then look mentally at the cross of the Savior and remember your duty as a Christian to crucify your flesh with passions and lusts [Gal. 5, 24]. Look at the cross of the Savior: there are nails in the hands and feet of the Divine Sufferer, and you do not want to endure any trifle, any minor trouble or malfunction from your neighbor (for example, excessive smoke, fumes). There the flesh is crucified, mortified, and you care about its pleasure, bliss. How did man fall? By turning away the gaze of the soul from the heavenly and directing it to the earthly; turned his gaze away from his Heavenly Fatherland, from spiritual sweets and clung to earthly pleasures; rejected the will of God - the Creator and Benefactor, and obeyed the devil-tempter, who was seduced by the poison of breaking the Divine commandment. What should the followers of Jesus Christ do now? - Despise poison, earthly pleasures and everything earthly, crucify your flesh and philosophize on heaven. To partake more often of life-giving Food, which restores righteousness and life to us. I know only my lord - the Giver of Life, my creator - God; We know of no other Lawgiver. Where is the focus of action of the multi-passionate flesh? - In the heart. My flesh is my pus, my ashes, what do you say? What do you think? Do you think that you will soon be rot and then dust? I see in my mind in advance how you will become rot and dust according to the inevitable law for sinners, and I am the most sinful of all. You are dust and to dust you will return [Gen. 3, 19]. Ah, gentleman! It is you, my separator from God and my neighbor, I understand. Away from the name of the Lord from the servant of the Lord. Away with the divider! We are all one, all children of God, and the Lord is our Father, everything for everyone. I know who you are, my enemy, and I don’t need anything else. I also know my God. Ah, you are the disrupter of God’s work, the destroyer of His wise order in the moral world! Away with the monster, the monster, the monster of God's creation! Do not be angry for the truth that I am speaking the truth. You, O most merciful Master, protect Your servant from the jaws of this hellish dragon, this ancient serpent. Man constantly remember what man is, what his soul is, and what is everything earthly; remember for whom the whole earth is not for people, for these children of the Heavenly Father, as it is written [Gen. 1:28], that is, not just for you and not for me, not for the rich and noble alone, but for everyone together, so that everyone loves each other as themselves and shares the gifts of God. Children speak louder, more freely and willingly when entering a class or entering a gymnasium. To speak with half your heart and in a low voice means to serve the devil. It must be done with all my heart, with all my heart. The enemy greatly prevents people from meeting and getting closer to pious people and instills hatred towards them in vain. The demonic stench is dreamy: when it dissipates, then you will see that this hatred was completely in vain (as it is always in vain, except for hatred of evil, and not of man), absurd, for no reason at all, dreamy, in a word - it should not have been, as it should never have been, for it is a moral arbitrary disease, free madness, insanity, self-inflicted illness, self-inflicted delirium, self-inflicted deformation, like any passion, any sin - self-inflicted scourging, burning on fire, being thrown into death and into the jaws of Satan, our primordial enemy and murderer, the enemy of the Lord God and man, a tormentor, a self-inflicted freak and striving to disfigure everyone, the heir of eternal darkness and Gehenna. The enemy seduces a person with an ugly and beggarly appearance and a beautiful and beautifully dressed one: in the first case, he arouses disgust, hatred and contempt for a person, in the latter, he attracts the gaze to him, some kind of contented love and respect only because of rags: dress the same person, without our knowledge, in a beggar's dress, if she appears to us - and she will have the same feeling as for the beggar, that is, a feeling of some disgust. O my flesh, instrument and servant of the devil! You are all a lie, you seduce me through everything: through sight, through hearing, through taste, touch and smell. You only want pleasant things, but you turn your nose back at unpleasant things. But this is sin and the food of sin. You want something unpleasant. This is the truth. The Lord God has a Mother born of earth, from the daughters of men! Oh, immense greatness! Oh, the unshakable hope of Christians! What Christ God will not do for His Mother, who prays for us day and night. Only we ourselves will pray to Her diligently and unhypocritically and correct our morals. Divine service is a conversation between the souls of the faithful with Christ, the Bridegroom of their souls, with the Mother of God, with the Angels, our elder brothers, and with all the saints. Oh, what a sweet conversation. I thank You, Quick to Hear and most merciful Intercessor, our Queen Theotokos, that You interceded for me through my prayer in a demonic situation and delivered my soul from the fear of demons and boldly granted me to read the prayer behind the pulpit. I also thank you for delivering me from the oppression of sin during prayers. August 26th, 1864 The sweets of food and drink excite and nourish the passion of voluptuousness, or lust. This has been proven by experience. Sweets should be consumed less often and in moderation, and if possible, avoided altogether. Looking at someone or something and not caring about those persons, things or actions that you have looked at is also a lie of the flesh and devilish charm: one must always be in the same relationship of respect and love or reverence and fear towards famous persons, people in general, especially saints; also to sacred things and actions. Do not disdain to kiss any person, this image of God, with the exception of drunkards, obvious fornicators, thieves, fanatics, blasphemers and the like, for kissing such means condoning their evil deeds; Consider it an honor and pleasure to express your love and respect for your neighbor, who lives piously, despite some of his sins (and not obvious vices), apparent or real, and do not condemn him (that is, God, the true and unfeigned Judge); but look at your great sins (daily, incessant) and consider yourself worse than everyone, trampling on everyone, and consider it a pleasure to honor and love everyone. Be impartial and unhypocritical in love: impartial - that is, honor and love the poor and the rich equally, for both are equally human, equally the image of God, they all have one soul; unhypocritical - that is, love not only in word and tongue, but in deed and truth. So, remember your great sins, so that you despise yourself and not others, so that you mourn your sins and repent of them. Say: I am nasty, a glutton, a fornicator, proud, evil, irritable, flattering, envious, stingy, negligent, lazy, frivolous, fickle, laughing when I should be crying about my sins, despondent when I should be triumphant in spirit and rejoicing. And you, my brothers, say, in comparison with me - gold. When unexpected guests come to you and distract you from your work for a while, do not be upset with them for this, for: 1) they are not to blame and had no intention of distracting you from your work; 2) upset will not improve matters; 3) it is crazy to add arbitrary evil to one involuntary evil - but treat them as kindly as possible and fulfill the great commandment of God about loving your neighbor: love your neighbor as yourself [Matt. 22:39] in order to fulfill the commandment of love for God, for the neighbor is the image of God and love for him passes to God Himself. He who does not love his brother, it is said, whom he sees, how can he love God whom he does not see? (1 John 4:20). What is a human baby? - Weakness, and in the very cradle there is already sin. That is why he often cries and sometimes shows his anger. But he does not yet have a mind. But it’s bad if an adult with reason becomes embittered at an unreasonable baby. The baby has no tongue, and instead of a tongue he cries. With them he expresses his desire to eat, drink, and his pain. We must respond with compassion to his crying. The cry of a baby is my cry, his weakness is my weakness. Is it not about abstinence that a communicant of the Divine Mysteries should be jealous? Where do you have it? And why do you take communion? Is it so that the church of God, the ark of God, what is the belly and heart, is clogged, filled with food and drink? Sacred history is an experimental proof of the faithfulness of the Lord God to His words and the deceit of the devil. Do this and you will live [Lk. 10, 28], but if you don’t do it, you will die. This is the word of God. The devil deceived people to break the commandment of God, saying: you will be like gods, knowing good and evil [Gen. 3, 5], – and lied. The word of the Lord will remain true to the end; the word of the devil will remain false to the end. What follows from this? – How can you try to follow the words and commands of the Lord, and avoid the suggestions of the devil in every possible way. How to recognize him? By instant death of the heart and by the voice of conscience. The devil does not allow us to draw closer in sincere love to our neighbors, for example, with relatives, acquaintances, our students, standing in our hearts as a stone of division and enmity or some kind of savagery between us. Despise this darkness. Alms should be given with joy, for alms delivers from death and [...] cleanses all sin. We give to Christ God Himself in the person of the beggar. We do not get tired of receiving from God and are glad to receive; we will not get tired of giving with joy. The devil perverts our mind with free-thinking, our heart with malice and various passions, and our will with earthly aspirations - he wants to turn everything upside down, the dreamer. God! Save us from this perverter of Your moral order! God! He wants, he strives with all his might to destroy holy Christian love between Your property; he is ready to mix up, confuse, and destroy all our good undertakings and deeds. God! You are zrish. Remember the rule or commandment: Whoever eats, do not disparage the one who does not eat; and whoever does not eat, do not judge him who does eat [Rom. 14, 3]. If you do not eat sweets, do not judge the one who drinks sweets, especially do not spare sweets for your neighbor, for our God is infinite sweetness, who has given us on earth many sweets for our enjoyment and as a pledge and indication of future sweets. The devil is cunning: by inspiring your neighbor to feel sorry for sweets under the pretext that they are harmful, or under the pretext of their high cost, he pours into the heart the poison of hatred towards our neighbor who eats our sweets. Consider everything as rubbish, as nothing, and do not pay attention to those who eat. Through sight the enemy tempts us greatly. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and throw it away from you... [Matt. 5, 29]. Don’t trust yourself, your heart, your eye... They lead you to sin: all flesh diligently serves sin with all its feelings. Follow the Scripture or the Gospel alone. You expose your addiction to sweetness and the malice of your heart. What would happen to us if the Lord completely shut us up in the hands of the enemy? If now it is so unbearable to remain for several minutes, an hour, a day in the hands of the enemy, when He betrays us to the enemy only partially, slightly, without completely rejecting us from His grace, but leaving us with much joy, then what will happen to us, sinners, if the Lord sends us into eternal fire, prepared for the devil and his angels, when He rejects us from His presence and leaves no joy? Then there will truly be weeping and gnashing of teeth. Before the Mother of God, as before the Most Holy Queen and Lady, one must stand with reverence and fear and with great humility and purity. Why are our youth controlled by secular authorities? Why did the spiritual authorities, why did the shepherds let go of the power given to them by God Himself to nurture the inheritance of God? And the secular authorities almost completely alienated the youth from the faith and the Church. You are my most tender and holy Father, Lord Jesus! What do you feed me with? – His life-giving Flesh and Blood, cleansing sins, giving holiness, life, peace, light, space, lightness. You, who fed me with my mother’s breasts in childhood, now feed me almost daily with Your Flesh and Blood, and even then you did not deprive me of this life-giving Brush. What will I bring to You, Lord, for all this? If my inner old man is almost constantly capricious, angry: something is wrong with him, and another, and a third, a fifth and a tenth - and I am already an adult, a man of thirty-five years old, then what can I say about a child’s heart, what can I say about babies? Is it possible to be angry at their whims? Isn’t it better to eradicate them with our intelligence and meekness, if they already understand, and not to tolerate them indifferently, if they are already babies? God! Look at our common weakness and have mercy on us - from a groaning heart we cry out to You. In church we are as if in heaven: before our eyes stand as if alive the Lord, the Most Pure Mother of God, Angels, saints, people who were subservient to us, who pleased the Lord with their love for Him and, out of God’s love, despised the world and their flesh. We talk with them as if they were alive in sacred readings, chants and prayers, we honor them with incense as if they were alive and, burning them, we worship them, as if greeting them kindly and begging them to pray for us. We remember in the church the incarnation of our Lord, His baptism, His miracles, His transfiguration, entry into Jerusalem, His suffering, death and burial, we hear His word, sermon, we contemplate the Epiphany of the Most Holy Trinity; we remember the birth of His Most Pure Mother, Her introduction into the church, the Annunciation, the Dormition, Her countless benefits to the Christian race in miraculous icons; We remember the lives and deeds of the saints who have pleased the Lord from time immemorial, and we learn (we must learn) to imitate them in order, just like them, to please our Lord, the All-Creator and Benefactor, and to inherit the Kingdom prepared for us from the foundation of the world. But for many this is an empty form - they are so used to all this, they have taken a closer look, they have become hardened, hardened. What's the use of reason? To understand, reflect, reason. In the church we are born by water and the Spirit and adopted by God, we receive the gifts of the Holy Spirit in Confirmation, we are strengthened in spiritual life, we are adored in the most pure Mysteries of the Body and Blood of the Lord, we are cleansed of sins in the Mystery of Repentance, and so on. Wonderful in the salvation of those who trust in You, Lord Jesus Christ, our God, who groan in repentance and contrition of heart for sins and call on Your all-saving name, obedient and quick to intercede, glory to You from Your insignificant, nasty and unclean worm, which You delivered from the jaws of the hellish serpent and, fire, oppression, sorrow, darkness, turning despondency and humiliation into nothing, you gave me indescribable peace, lightness, space of heart, life-giving warmth, light, joy and greatness of spirit. I read several times: Have mercy on me, O God... [Ps. 50 ] and: Lord our God, who grants repentance to man... - and then served a prayer service at the secretary of the police. As soon as the prayer service began, it was all over, all the cramped conditions. Glory to Thee, Lord! I sinned by despising the beggar, Lord, save me from my sin. Respect and love the beggar as yourself: the same person and image of God and a child of the Heavenly Father. But money is rubbish, soil, and that’s God’s, not ours. And the one who despises God and His image is the devil, the original proud and despiser. Learn to despise no one and nothing except the devil and sin. The Lord God has taught and taught you for so long, haven’t you learned yet? Look at your ulcers, scabs, festerings, abominations, and evils of the heart. Don’t judge anyone, lest you be condemned yourself, you damned sinner! You will be lenient towards everyone - and the Lord will be lenient towards you: if you measure the measure, it will be measured to you [Matt. 7, 2]. You say: the prosphora is not good, it’s callous, it needs to be softer - let’s assume that’s true, but why be irritated because they are callous? This shows your addiction to bread, to your flesh, to materiality in general. You say: today is a strict fast, there is no need to eat fish, why did they make fish? They tell you: for this and that: for the mother who is feeding the baby and for whom it is difficult to live without fish, and for such and such a weak baby. You say: they can also eat lean and not fish, and again you get annoyed that fish was made when it shouldn’t have been. Let’s assume that this is true: you need to keep a fast - but why get irritated and feel sorry for a fish dish: this again means the heart’s addiction to food and moral materialism. And your heart must cleave to the one God and then to your neighbor for God’s sake, so that out of love for your neighbor you should not spare anything. Don't judge those who eat. Food does not bring us closer to God (1 Cor. 8:8). Look at food as trash. The desire and search for rewards for labors are from the devil: he incites us to chase after them and fans the flame of ambition in the heart. This proves the restless, impetuous, impatient search for rewards by ambitious people. Tell me, seeker of a reward, why are you worried, embarrassed, when for a long time, in your opinion, they do not present you with a reward? Is it your food, drink, or some other necessity without which you cannot live? Tell me, who gave you the right to highly value your work? Who gave you the right to think that your deeds are good and worth reward and not blame? Are they really worth the reward? Can you honestly say this? Put your deeds before the judgment of an impartial conscience and the impartial righteous judgment of God - I think that you will not then find yourself worthy of reward for your labors, but will humbly recognize their inadequacy and dishonesty and the fact that you are sufficiently rewarded for them by the salary you receive. But even if in fact we zealously and successfully fulfilled our duties, then this is our duty, we must do our job this way and not otherwise and, according to Christ’s commandment, consider ourselves unbreakable slaves, because we did what we had to do [Lk. 17, 10]. But the main thing is that we are not our own appraisers. Due to pride, due to pride, due to other passions, we can always make mistakes in ourselves and attribute to ourselves more than what is proper. Let us give others the right to judge us, those who are assigned to do so, and we will not be angry with them if, in our opinion, they do not present us for a reward on time; although we will not humiliate ourselves before them and curry their favor in order to present us with a reward. Let us behave with dignity, showing that it is not we who are looking for a reward, but a reward that is looking for us, that the reward for me is a clear conscience and consciousness of correctness in one’s work, or the Lord Himself, who will one day reward everyone according to his deeds [Matt. 16, 27; Rome. 2, 6]. My reward is with Me [Rev. 22, 12]. We are His workers. We are co-workers with God (1 Cor. 3:9). A priest who wants to please the Lord by fulfilling his position with dignity must renounce his own will in order to unquestioningly, without bitterness and irritability, fulfill the will of others, because the priest is an instrument of God’s mercy for the faithful; he must be the servant of everyone at all times. So, for example, after the end of a church service, he would now like to go home or visit, but meanwhile he is asked to serve a prayer service, a memorial service, and not just one, and sometimes not just one, but several, or he is called to baptize, confess, give communion, and unction; in such cases, the heart sometimes boils with anger and frustration at the demanders and at the fact that his will is not being fulfilled and he must do not what he wants, but what he would not like to do. But we must root out all anger and irritability from our hearts and be invariably meek, not be irritated by anything, no matter how unpleasant the matter may be to us; must cut off one's own will for the sake of the will of the Lord Jesus Christ, to be an ox threshing or a horse silently running wherever its owner or rider may drive it. Do not listen for a moment to your evil, crazy, absurd heart, carnal heart! He would only please himself and, whoever interferes with this, be angry with them and trample on them. God! Glory to Your unspeakable mercy, that You, Master, have now forgiven me my sins so many times and consoled me! Oh, the great words of the fiftieth psalm and prayer: Lord our God, by repentance.... August 2nd day, 1864 All Christian wisdom, as I have learned through experience, lies in abstinence, or in cutting off various lusts of the flesh, lusts regarding food, drink, clothing, housing, furniture; and all foolishness, all misfortune, all destruction lies in intemperance, or in satisfying the various lusts of the flesh. When you abstain from lusts, the soul is clear, unbound, light, pure, calm and conveniently clings to God, to this First Principle; and when she indulges in intemperance, she is unclean, darkened, tied and entangled, as it were, with some kind of ropes and nets, she is in cramped conditions, burdened by addiction to earthly things and burdened with earthly things, and is restless. What ineffable light, what infinite sweetness awaits the elect in the next century! My soul! Remember this more often, imagine this future glory more often and remember what you can deprive yourself of forever through your carelessness, through your addiction to earthly pleasures. Imagine, on the other hand, an unquenchable fire, an undying worm, the gnashing of teeth and remember that from here on there will be no exodus forever and ever, for the torment will be eternal. These go into everlasting punishment [Matt. 25, 46]. It is not said: they will go, but it is said: they go into eternal torment, which is much stronger; to avoid any doubt, eternal torment is presented as if it were real: the Lord already sees sinners going into eternal torment. Be horrified, my soul! Tremble, my soul! If you have begun to pray and feel that your heart is cold, then repent in your soul that you are standing with a cold soul before your every-minute Benefactor, who gives you life and breath and everything, to whom you must endlessly thank and unceasingly praise. In God everything lives and moves. Why do we neglect the call, the calling of God? While the Lord called us to heaven and commands us not to value earthly things too much, we cling to the earth and consider it our true fatherland! They clung to earthly blessings and forgot about heavenly ones. What an insult this is to our Lord Jesus Christ, who did not spare Himself for our eternal salvation and gave Himself up to suffering and death. Unrepentant, rebellious, unbelieving sinners, tremble at His Judgment. You, the image of God, dishonor the name of God in yourself: you know who reigns in you (the devil), you know whose will you do (the devil) daily and hourly. That is why we say in the Lord’s Prayer: Our Father... Hallowed be Thy name... May the Kingdom come... Thy will be done... [...] The devil cannot do anything without God's permission. When you give alms to a beggar, imagine his inner greatness as a man, as an image of God, as a god of the God-man, as a child of God, and do not pay attention to his dirty, rough and tattered clothes and perhaps unwashed face. This is all the husk, so to speak, of a person, not the person himself: the person inside is the same as you, and perhaps a thousand times better than you. It is not without reason that it is said about the coming age that many who are last will be first [Matt. 19, 30; Mk. 10, 31]. Those whom you considered the last in this world, all lower and worse, whom you despised, will be the first for simplicity, humility, patience, and so on. So, when giving alms to a beggar, say: this is a man, like me, this is a member of the God-man. God took his image and Himself accepts alms in his image. Such and such a person sins, and he has a hard time dealing with his sins - do not judge him, do not laugh at him, do not be angry with him or envy his sinful life, but pray for him. Does the Lord hear and fulfill our prayers for others? The One who gave the commandment to love your neighbor as yourself [Matt. 19, 19 ], without a doubt, he hears our prayer for others and has mercy on them for our prayer, just as he hears our prayer for himself and has mercy on us, if only we pray for others sincerely, as for ourselves. In fact, when we pray for others, we pray for ourselves. Because we are all one spiritual body, one Church or one family of the Heavenly Father, one spiritual flock. When we pray for others, we do the same thing as the members of the body do for its general welfare. Pray for one another so that you may be healed [Jas. 5, 16]. Therefore, if one member suffers, all members suffer with it; If one member is glorified, all members rejoice with it (1 Cor. 12:26). The Lord's Prayer is the best form of prayer. And in it we pray not only for ourselves, but for everyone! Divine prayer! Another person argues that beggars are parasites, that they should not be given alms, but that he himself is the first parasite, because for his insignificant and not entirely conscientious, often hypocritical and unrighteous labors, he often receives a large financial or fee reward. 102 He himself does not see his own parasitism, but in others he calls non-parasitism with contempt parasitism, for many beggars walk around the world out of need, and not out of whim and laziness. Dear brother! If God Himself judges us in parasitism, then He will almost certainly be the first to call you a parasite, and these hundreds and thousands of rubles lying or lying in your chests will be shown to you and to the whole world to expose your hard-heartedness, love of money and parasitism, and they will have to destroy your flesh, like the fire that you earned on the last day. Your gold and silver are rusty, and their rust will be a testimony against you [Jas. 5, 3]. If we examine our deeds through righteous judgment, it will turn out that many have become parasites and drunkards, despairing of our hard-heartedness, inattention, and contempt towards them. You say: he is a parasite, a drunkard. Well, give him a job: many cannot get a job - many would like to, but cannot; convince him not to indulge in drunkenness. Maybe he drinks because there is no one to talk some sense into him. For example, many have a prejudice that for a holiday you must definitely drink wine. Convict them, tell them that holidays are especially appropriate and characteristic of abstinence and special clarity and vigor of soul, so that the spirit can contemplate the subject and purpose of the holiday. There is also a stupid proverb: whoever is happy about the holiday is drunk to death - denounce this absurd proverb, say that it is absurd, stupid, that only pagans, for whom food and drink are the first and last pleasure, tend to say this, and not Christians, who are commanded to abstain. Show, it is said, in your faith there is virtue, in virtue there is prudence, in prudence there is self-control... (2 Pet. 1:5-6). Two wonderful cases. One girl and one old man, a customs inspector, lost their tongues. When the priest was called to confess and give them communion, just before his arrival his lips and tongue were opened. (Skobkina’s girl.) Then they got better. Do not reproach an elder, but exhort him as you would a father (1 Tim. 5:1). Don’t tell him: you do this and that, you say this and that; do not reproach him, but beg him like a father, remembering that he is the image of God. Almost the face of an old man, it is said, and fear the Lord your God [Lev. 19, 32]. Don’t excuse your insults to the elder in any way, don’t say: it’s nothing and don’t care, don’t say offensive words to him and don’t irritate his venerable gray hair, so that the Lord will not be angry with you, - after all, the Lord is in everyone. Christ is in all things and in all [Col. 3, 11]. You are the church of God, and the Spirit of God lives in you (1 Cor. 3:16). We will come to him and make an abode with him, that is, a permanent residence [Jn. 14, 23]. My God! I sinned against the elder today - have mercy on me. Please the Lord by humility before everyone, consider yourself to be nothing (poor in spirit), more sinful, worse, lower than everyone else, and constantly show this conviction in your deeds: be meek, kind, and condescending to everyone. When performing every virtue, consider yourself an infallible slave. Anyone who hates sin and wants to avoid sins can, by the grace of God, do so (that is, avoid them). You just need to be constantly attentive to your heart and thoughts and movements of the flesh and constantly present yourself before the eyes of the Lord Jesus Christ, keeping His name in your mind and heart. Moreover, the soul has an innate, subtle sense (conscience) for sin and instantly lets a person know about this or that illegal movement of the flesh and soul, that it is a sin; and the consciousness of sin, in addition, is at the same moment confirmed by confusion in the soul and its darkness, and either a very pleasant or unpleasant irritation is felt in the flesh. Anyone who makes himself a king is an opponent of Caesar [Jn. 19, 12]. This is what the bishops and scribes spoke to Pilate about our Savior, slandering Him, as if He forbids giving tribute to Caesar, making Himself Christ a king, 103 although the Lord never forbade giving tribute to the king and He Himself respected the authorities. The Lord, therefore, was falsely accused of self-exaltation and humiliation of the royal majesty, because the enemies did not like His majestic, powerful, decisive word, His majestic appearance and some, however, just contempt for the powerful of the world, for strong sinners, who add hypocrisy to many other sins; for example, He spoke about Herod the king: go, tell this fox [Lk. 13, 32]. So even now, for some pious elders, their imperious, majestic, strict, sometimes prophetic, sometimes reproachful and abusive word, maybe righteous, addressed to high persons, for example, to bishops, or to ordinary people, and their stately, stern appearance, serves as a temptation for some, and they blame them for self-exaltation. (The Empress will come, the elder said about himself.) He predicts: such and such an abbess will be... such and such a bishop... Tell us what is coming [Isa. 41, 23]. But they (the elders) generally have a humble appearance and speech and manner. Who can forbid the majestic, sovereign Spirit of God to speak authoritatively, strictly, prophetically and accusatoryly, like the Lord Jesus, who called Herod a fox, as one elder called one great spiritual figure a rogue; if the Spirit of God is in them, then how can you resist the Spirit of God? Who can argue with Him? God! You Yourself give us reason, so that we may not offend You in the pious elders, filled with Your Spirit! But also from flattering spirits, 104 Lord, deliver us for Thy name's sake, for the glory of Thy name's sake. I personally opposed him because he was being criticized [Gal. 2, 11]. Avoid them [Rom. 16, 17]. Rule: immediately reject thoughts that disturb your soul, as slander and lies of an enemy seeking to create enmity between you and your neighbor. For example, a thought says: so-and-so is proud, scolds others, exalts himself - do not believe him and say: Judge not, lest you be judged [Matt. 7, 1], or: Each one will bear his own burden [Gal. 6, 5]. Who are you, judging another man's slave? [Rom. 14, 4]. Know your sins. Experience has proven this many times. May I, by the grace of my Lord, be perfect and complete. Give it, Lord! Bring glory for the sake of Your name and salvation for the sake of my neighbors. God! May my malice not overcome Your unspeakable goodness and mercy. God! Heal the wounds of my soul. God! May I always strive for the best. Let me not change for the worse. Be according to Your unspeakable goodness and power. Distribute a book about Christian duties among the people. God! Help, remind, grant the means, grant the zeal of the shepherds for the distribution of such and similar books; Grant a desire to read. Oh, accursed habit of the evil flesh! Having become accustomed to a pious, God-given, holy person, we consider him as nothing, but we elevate ourselves so much, we will never lower ourselves in our opinion, we will not forget to expect respect from others, and if someone does not honor us, we are offended. How come we fail to show respect for our neighbor? Why do we see the bitch in his eye and in our hearts do we harbor malice and contempt towards him for this? Why don’t we see a log in ourselves and why, having a log in ourselves, or many great sins, do we not harbor anger and contempt for ourselves? Do we really care about others (the servants of our Lord) but not about ourselves? What smart people we are! What a perversion of every order! But we know that everyone will bear his own burden [Gal. 6, 5]. I am the first sinner, Lord: reject me, and not my brother, not my father, for his years’ sake. May I be embittered by my crimes for the sake of Your laws, spoken in Your Gospel, most loving Jesus! And have mercy on my brother, my father, Lord, cleanse, Lord, enlighten, Lord, strengthen and save, Lord, for all things are possible for You, and our sins are like a dream, like the ghost of the devil, like nothing, so let us not be hardened by sinful flattery. God! Like wax, let our sins melt away from Your presence, like morning dew, let our iniquities dry up from You, the Sun of Truth. We are all Your children in Christ and must live in mutual love and simple-heartedness, God bless us! Glory to the power of Your Cross, Lord, glory to Your compassion, Lord! When I woke up in the morning, I felt the aching and embarrassment of my insides, I fenced them off with a cross several times, and the embarrassment disappeared, although some nervous pain remained from the blockage of my stomach. Glory and thanksgiving to You, Lord, who does not despise Your sinful creation. Grant, Lord, that I should not despise any person, any sinner, for he is another me. We are sinners - let us love one another: love covers a multitude of sins (1 Pet. 4:8). The enemy now greatly immersed me in grades (second and third) with humiliation, despondency, cramped conditions, loss of spirit, but - oh, Almighty, all-wise, all-good, all-simple Master! You did not allow the enemy to plunge me into despondency, but gave me wisdom and strength to triumph over him through my simplicity and faith in You. He plunged me into despondency, loss of spirit, and I, taught by Your grace, strengthened myself and did not succumb to cowardice, saying internally that this was a dream, a ghost, as truly as I thought about it. He didn’t lose heart and said it in his heart, saying at the same time a lesson - and so what? The enemy, seeing that his machinations were exposed, called a dream, a mirage, soap bubbles, was defeated by the wisdom of Christ, the simplicity of Christ. And how he pressed me in the third class, how he rested, bent, what tightness, what heat, what shame he produced in his face, and I stood and sat, by the grace of God, like an anvil, not paying attention to his machinations, and although not completely, I put him to shame and came out of the class victorious. For this I thank You, Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God! Strengthen me at other times! At the caretaker of the parish school, Khrenev, sin again beset me, oppressed my heart, and disgraced my face. But again, with the simplicity of my soul, by the grace of God, I drove him out! How simply, instantly you came to me from my careless glance at the flesh - just as simply, instantly, come out; I entered with a dream, and leave with a dream: I don’t want to know you. Do not pay attention to the sin that arises in the heart, but suppress it at the very beginning, like fire. For any kind of person (not a working peasant) so little food and drink is required, so little that it would be madness to spare bread and salt, tea, sugar and all kinds of food for any guest, even a frequent one; As soon as the man began to eat, he was already full. Yes, and every sin is madness, a dream, a ghost - only during the sin we do not notice and do not realize that it is madness and a dream, death, but we consider it something even smart, thorough, essential, we think to find in it a life that did not exist in it. God! Teach me, strengthen me not to spare anything for anyone, not to sin in any way. And how often I do not spare my neighbor much, for example money, but for the most part I again spare little things, for example sweets! What an absurdity! What an illogicality, what a nonsense, a jumble, a nonsense, an anomaly! What a whim, what animality, bestiality! Sin is beautifully called lawlessness. Sin is lawlessness - it is precisely lawlessness. Everything in the world is subject to laws, and sin is the absence of any law, something disorderly, absurd, strange, wild, ugly, disgusting, vile. Sin, even admitted for a moment, pours out like a rushing stream in the soul and drowns it all until it is driven out by reflection and repentance. Sin extremely slows down moral improvement and pushes a person back. Oh, if only we would not sin the same sins, but eradicate them little by little or suddenly. The teaching in the gymnasium is diversified in each class. If the elder sinned, he sinned against the Lord, not me; It is not for me to correct him, but for his and my Lord. And I must remember my sins, condemn myself and correct myself. So, despite the visible sins of the elder, almost the old man’s face [Lev. 19:32 ] and do not cease to honor him for the Lord’s sake. Those who are the last in this world, the poor, the thin, the sick, the unseemly, the wretched - they should be loved and honored by us primarily and enjoy our care and supervision, for they need this and have every right to this due to their sorrowful position, as suffering members in the body. And whom do we honor, please, whom do we cling to, whom do we willingly go to, whom do we indulge? We please the rich, who are already blessed in this world, who even without us have someone to please, who have someone to flatter; We indulge the rich, but, strangely enough, we don’t love the poor, we don’t respect them from the heart, we reluctantly go to them, for example, to talk, we meet them with an unkind gaze - not like the rich, we don’t always willingly give them alms. Is this reasonable, is it logical? Is this in accordance with the spirit of faith, with the commandments of our Lord Jesus Christ? Unreasonable, disagree. The rich have something and someone to please, honor, caress; Everything pleases and lulls them: a lot of silver and gold, and bright, clean and spacious chambers, and soft, clean and decent, even exquisite clothes, food and drink, wine, tea, coffee, soft beds, sofas, armchairs, carriages, theaters, festivities, various amusements - everything pleases them, unwinds, lulls them; I just don’t know what their soul is like with all this pleasure of the flesh. Further: the rich are almost constantly flattered by the sons of this age, they show them respect and services. What do the poor, the homeless, who have no place to rest their heads, or who have a cramped corner at an expensive price, the poor, dressed in tattered and dirty rags, sometimes barefoot, sick, decrepit, barely moving their legs, unseemly, oppressed by fate (for, of course, God judged so for reasons known to Him) - what do they use in this world? More with contempt, like some unclean and harmful animals, and many run away from them as if from an infection, as from a pestilence. So, according to Christian truth, according to all right, according to Christian compassionate love, we must look after them, caress them (not just today and tomorrow, but always), provide them with help and service. May the Lord enlighten us and help us. Otherwise, we have a completely carnal, non-Christian way of thinking and behavior, a false, perverse, devilish view of the matter. Christians, come to your senses! Is this how Christ God taught and teaches us to live in this world? Is this how he commanded us to live among ourselves? He bequeathed to us mutual love and compassion. This I command you, that you love one another [Jn. 15, 17]. Do we act out of love when we ourselves become rich, enjoy luxury, and forget the poor? We don’t spare anything for food, drink, clothing, housing, cooling our mortal, stinking body: sometimes hundreds and thousands are nothing, but for a poor brother, a member of Christ, we feel sorry for a few kopecks. We ourselves please our eyes with the exquisite decoration of our homes, but we don’t even want to look at the beggar; We ourselves eat and drink the best, we fill our meals with all sorts of sweets, but it’s a pity to give a beggar a piece of bread; We ourselves dress as best as possible, more beautifully, cleaner, more fashionably, sparing nothing for this, throwing away tens and hundreds of rubles for nothing, and we regret giving to a beggar for a caftan, for boots, for a shirt. Where is the Christian faith here? Where are Christ's commandments? Where is the truth of Christ? Where is the faith in the Church as a single flock, a single family of Christ, or God? Where is mutual love? Where is the brotherhood? You are all brothers, said Christ [Matt. 23, 8]...Where is the heavenly wisdom? - Everything earthly. Where is crucifying your flesh with passions and lusts and following Christ? Where is self-sacrifice for the Lord and neighbor, wearing the cross of Christ and following Christ? Instead of self-sacrifice, you see extreme pride everywhere, but everyone runs away from the cross of Christ, from sorrows and voluntary deprivations and wants to enjoy the short-term, false bliss of the present age. The majority of Christians have forgotten to follow Christ or do not even know how to follow Him, for they know and know how to follow only the world. By convicting others of this, I also convict myself. What should we do? Let us turn to the Lord with a fervent, unfeigned prayer, so that He will change our non-Christian morals and stifling customs for the better. God! Correct our steps to do Your commandments, soothe our earthly and material wisdom, and grant us always the heavenly wisdom. Warm and ignite our hearts with unfeigned love for You and love for each other. Whoever has two clothes, give to the poor, and whoever has food, do the same [Lk. 3:11], and may we rejoice You, our Savior, with an all-virtuous life according to Your holy and blessed laws. The Lord will reward for everyone who owed it and did not give it to us, although everything we have is not ours, but God’s, and we ourselves are not ours, but God’s: both the soul and body are from Him, so everything that is necessary for the soul and body is from Him, and in ourselves and in ourselves we are only sin, damnation, poverty, nothingness. He is our Head, He is our truth. He will also torment us, 105 who consider others to be our debtors. More humane! Teach me humanity! May the voice of my prayer not be [thin]. Teach me not to judge my neighbor, not to become embittered, not to be malicious, not to despise, not to be cold and stony-hearted towards him. Speak calmly, without rushing through prayer during public and private services, considering all the dirty tricks of demons as nothing and completely despising them as weak insolence. Insignificant human being! A worm crawling on the earth! What did the Lord do for you, for your eternal salvation, and what do you do for yourself, how do you, the image of God, respond to this love, to this concern for your eternal well-being of the Heavenly Father? You indulged in carelessness and negligence, when you should have been awake and working. How do we avoid 106... In the beginning the Lord created the substance of the universe, waterless, disordered, and in the beginning there was darkness. The Lord said: let there be light. And there was light [Gen. 1, 3]. So it happens in a person’s soul: until the Lord, seeing a person’s repentance, says: let there be light, and in the soul of a sinner (sin is chaos) there becomes light; then the Lord makes a firmament in the middle of the water - in the middle of the human heart, allowing it to stand firmly on the rock of His commandments; then he separates the water from the earth - the soul from addiction to earthly things; grows from the soul various virtues, like spiritual vegetation; then, like the sky with the sun, moon and stars, it adorns the soul with the radiance of various virtues, and Himself - the Sun of Truth - dwells in a person, as in the mental sky. How long will our outfits, our dresses, our handkerchiefs, these rags bewitch us and deceive us, and how long will we please the devil with them and, because of our addiction to them, despise the Lord and His servants, His living images - men? How long will we neglect our heavenly title, our Heavenly Fatherland, because of them? Oh, woe, woe to us, partial to the earth, to the dust. Oh, how we neglect You before Your face, Lord, before Your very face, before Your Holy Mysteries, because the devil took possession of our hearts through our rags, our silver coins, and chained us to the ground! Oh, how we neglect our neighbor, even the sick one, who lies before our eyes, because the devil controls our hearts, the addiction to earthly things, to which he seduces, for he, being simple, knows well that we cannot work with the same heart for two masters - God and wealth, money, clothes, food, drink, heavenly and earthly, God and him, the devil. Do not want money for your needs, even under the pretext of giving to the poor. God will send without our desire, without our greed. Because earthly things, earthly charms, the charm of clothes, money, decorated homes, sweet food and drink have taken possession of us, we put the beggars and the needy for nothing for their thin clothes, for their unkempt faces, for their humility; They completely forgot about their soul, that it is the image of God, the bride of the immortal King Christ, just as they forgot about Christ, about heaven, about heavenly blessings, which no eye can see (1 Cor. 2:9)... Consider everything as rubbish. Christ! Enlighten, teach and approve! You see how the devil is furious and uses all hellish efforts to chain us to earthly things, while You draw us to heavenly things, to our true and eternal Fatherland. God! And if my body disappears, and my belly, and my clothes, and my dwelling is destroyed, and the very earth burns up, then why should I cling to my heart to earthly things? A heart that should be Your church, for which the only treasure is You, life, and peace, and sweetness, and the space of our hearts? God! Enlighten! Help! Clean it up! Minute fireworks, all our ranks, distinctions, all our pleasures, theaters, masquerades, our outfits, our tables, richly decorated, our money, our elegant apartments, our furniture, our sets, our life. And our life is like a minute-long fireworks display. But blessed is he who uses this short life for the glory of God and for the good of his neighbors: he prepares for himself an eternal abode. The spirit of false shame and despondency must be resisted just as much as the spirit of malice, envy, gluttony, fornication, and covetousness. Don’t be ashamed and don’t be despondent if you say or do something wrong, it’s embarrassing: shame and despondency are new sins. Even if you say and do something wrong, don’t be ashamed, don’t be faint-hearted, and don’t be discouraged. Here, shame and despondency come from pride, from the thought of how I could have made a mistake, and from forgetting the truth that it is common for us to make mistakes, as we are weak and sinful. Shame and despondency are a new sin to the sin of error. If you made a mistake, said something wrong, did something wrong - at least don’t be discouraged and don’t lose heart, especially in front of the people, in front of the disciples. And after any unintentional sin, do not lose heart, but trust in the mercy of God. Judas lost heart and died. Saul did not lose heart - and became Paul; The prudent thief did not lose heart - and became the heir of paradise; Mary of Egypt did not lose heart - and became equal to the angels from the great sinner. What you criticize Elder Eutyches didn’t happen to you too: didn’t you also speak about some high-ranking persons deserving of reproach in expressions denoting their properties (for example, a rogue), didn’t you hear this from others and meanwhile turned a deaf ear and, perhaps, even smiled smugly; weren’t you indifferent when you spoke harshly about some people, but truly the elder himself, and didn’t you consider this a due tribute to the truth? How did you suddenly, out of the blue, begin to put this in opposition to the old man, hated him and abandoned him? And remember his fatherly love for you, his wise, spiritual speeches, his soul-saving advice, his insight, his healing ointment, which he gave you with the love of a tender father and which healed the wound on your womb (boil); remember how you yourself were convinced from the bottom of your heart that he was an unflattering 107 elder, and admit that the quarrel that happened with him and the hostility towards him because of some plausible pretexts is the work of the devil, it is your hard-heartedness and forgetfulness of the actual wonderful qualities of the elder and an insult to him (you must ask for forgiveness), an extreme insult to his venerable old age, his patronymic, his love, his charity, his courtesy! So the enemies of Christ, despite His countless good deeds, confronted Him with two or three cases that were not at all reprehensible, and because of them they condemned Him to death! But even if the elder really sinned, then he is a man, not an Angel: he is subject to weaknesses, like any person, and we must have condescension towards our common weakness, as we wish it for ourselves, and we must look at ourselves, as we ourselves sin. So, I repent before You, Lord, and before You, elder; accept, Lord, my repentance, and you, elder, accept my repentance. I have sinned against heaven and before You. Our Mother, Most Holy Lady Theotokos! Educate us in Your spirit, in Your humility, in Your holiness, in devotion to the will of God, in obedience to the authorities, in mutual love. Amen. Constantly have this conviction that you are more sinful, worse, weaker, lower than everyone else, and then the Lord will be with you, for My power, He says, is made perfect in weakness (2 Cor. 12:9); and truth requires recognizing yourself as such: aren’t you exactly like that in your consciousness? Remember Father Konstantin Dobronravov, Lord! The Lord sends me money for the poor to give to them - I must willingly fulfill the order of the Lord, the Father of orphans and widows. What knife does the Lord have to cut off our hardness of heart? - Sorrows of the heart. It hurts - be patient: but your heart will be healthy. I despise you in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ in all your wiles and sinful abominations, devil, perverter of God's order, slanderer, liar, evil, proud, vile; I laugh at all your sinful abominations, at all your despondency, which is cast like fire into my soul, and I triumph in my Lord even when I sin unwillingly and unintentionally, in the hope of my Savior, who cleanses all my iniquities; Even if I sin by my own will, out of oblivion, out of passion, then I will not despair and will not add another, more serious sin to the sin. It is enough if I sin a little through weakness, I will not mindlessly increase my burden. If I sin, I will say: Lord! Forgive, reason and confirm. The Lord united us with Himself, accepted us into communion of the Divine nature, and we, accursed, ungrateful and malicious, unite our hearts with the corruptible, lovely things of the visible world, with the dust of our feet! What does this mean? What an affinity between our heart, which is spirit, and between perishable things, composed of elements, easily destructible, like our body, like the earth itself, for if parts are destroyed, then the whole will also be destroyed, because the whole consists of parts. When you are called to give communion to a sick person, be careful in every way that your heart is not attached to anything earthly, for no one is worthy from those bound by carnal lusts and pleasures to come, or draw near, or serve the Lord Jesus, the King of Glory. 108 Our earthly passions have turned and are turning the entire work of Christ into nothing (that is, for ourselves), the work of our redemption. Christ wants to cleanse us from sins, tear us away from addiction to earthly things and raise us to heaven, but we ourselves are drowning in sins, we ourselves cling more and more to earthly things and are careless and do not think about our heavenly Fatherland, as if it will not exist. Woe to us, Christians in name and pagans in deeds. We chase after dreams, after decay, and abandon the truth and eternal blessings; we are chasing a temporary hotel and losing our eternal home - the sky. No matter how the enemy (the devil) spanks you, know that it will be to your advantage, and the more shame you endure from him, the longer you resist him, the better off you will be, the more prudent and stronger your spirit will be. Likewise, the more and longer you force yourself to heartfelt, true prayer, the more you resist thoughts (for example, bad, evil and blasphemous), the more your soul will be cleansed, pacified and strengthened, so that, no matter the prayer of the heart, you will receive a new share of God’s grace, cleansing, sanctifying, enlightening and strengthening and protecting you for the future. Do not be greedy for sweet and generally pleasant food, otherwise our heart, like a fly, will reach for the sweet and cleave to it, and will turn away from its Lord, the source of its life, 109 and grow cold towards Him, and will not feel the sweetness in Him, for greed for carnal sweets will certainly destroy the taste for spiritual sweets. Through earthly sweets the enemy makes strong war on our hearts. Extremely avoid satiety in food and drink: one who is satiated with food and drink will soon be fed up with everyone and everything: holy people of God, ordinary, sinful people living, he will be fed up with his faith, worship, Sacraments, rituals, books - everything, and everything will become disgusting to him. And in order to avoid this disease of satiety, one must be moderate in everything, always thank God for everything, consider oneself unworthy of God’s constant mercies, but worthy of punishment for one’s sins; imagine and remember responsibility, or answer before God in the use of all His gifts, to which He has made us His helpers and distributors, and not unauthorized possessors. I thank You, Lord, for You have granted me in the power of Your fortress and in Your name my incorporeal enemies, who rose up against me with rage and submerged me, to overcome. I thank You, for You have granted me, through my prayer, from the bottom of my heart, to shamelessly call Your children, my disciples, entrusted to me by You. Make me wise and strengthen me, Master, and throughout the rest of my life, without stumbling and without shame, I will carry out this great service of teaching of Your youths to You. Amen. September 2nd day, 1864. Wednesday. He served early mass. Glory to Your life-giving Mysteries, Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God! I thank You, most gracious and most benevolent Master, that You quickly and completely delivered me from the violence of the devil and transformed narrowness of spirit and humiliation into space and greatness of spirit, confusion into peace. Help me always, O Grace, deliver me always, Almighty! Grant me, O Master, the grace, out of gratitude to You, to be obedient to all Your poor people, to those in authority, equals and inferiors, only for Your name, glory for the sake of Your name, and not out of gratification to their vices and passions. Amen. For everything in this short life, filled with the many different gifts of the Lord, we must thank our Heavenly Father, especially for our Orthodox faith, that we were born in it and enjoy its saving fruits, for the word of God, for the teaching of the faith, for prayers, worship and the Sacraments. What most joyful truths the Lord has revealed to us in His holy word! What most comforting hopes have been given to us! What examples for our lives are presented in the lives of the saints! What instructive, life-giving, sweetest words in the word of God, in the prayers that we read daily! Oh, what greatness and nobility of our human nature! How we must protect and preserve this greatness and nobility so as not to offend, humiliate, tarnish or completely destroy it with sins, passions, and vicious life! How we must ask God every day, so that He would not allow us into the destructive paths of our mother-in-law and would grant us the strength to always remember our origin, our destiny, our baptismal vows, death, the future resurrection and Judgment, eternal bliss and eternal torment! Be kind and comforting to everyone in every possible way, because all people are or are in some kind of mental or physical, internal or external trouble, everyone is obsessed with more or less some kind of grief and sadness, especially sadness about sin or about sins. Be kind to one another with brotherly love [Rom. 12, 10]. But you must be strict with obvious, fearless, free-thinking sinners until they are converted. Both to the poor and to the rich, both to the simple and to the noble, hasten equally willingly to what is required; to the poor and simple even more willingly, for the sake of the Lord; To all, be quick to serve for the sake of the one Head of all - the Lord Jesus Christ, Whom we follow. Amen. Whatever good another has done, consider it as your own or, more importantly, God’s, and do not at all envy your brother for what he, not you, did, but thank the Lord for someone else’s work and good deed as if it were your own, for we are members of one body, having different activities for the common good. Everything is God’s, not ours, and we are all God’s. Read a book of sacred content written by someone as God's book: we are not able... to think anything from ourselves, as if from ourselves (2 Cor. 3:5). Consider all Christian brothers as one and pray for others outside, so that the Lord will enlighten them and do the same with us. He who comes to Me I will not cast out, says the Lord [Jn. 6, 37], and: I am meek and lowly in heart [Matt. 11, 29]. He allowed everyone to come to Him with meekness and love and talked with all sinners, served everyone - He is the Lord of all; and we, if someone comes to us directly into our office (see, study), or into the living room, or into the hall (see, living room, and even a hall), especially from the poor, we become angry and embittered. Oh, swagger! Oh, self-love! Oh, proud inaccessibility! No, brother, if someone comes to your office directly or somewhere in another room, whether you know him or not, receive him kindly and with love, like a guest, sit him down, ask him about his health, and talk to him, if you have time, but if you don’t, then say no - at another time, please come in; in this way you will fulfill Christ’s commandment to love your neighbor as yourself [Matt. 19, 19]. Don’t be sybaritic, 110 don’t be self-important, but accept everyone as brothers and sisters if they come with a pious intention, and shy away from the impious and ill-intentioned with meekness and kindness for plausible reasons, so as not to waste time, and if they are looking for spiritual benefit, talk with joy. More humane! I thank Thee for Thy great mercy, for Thou hast wised and strengthened me in Thy perfect simplicity to pass through two classes, and Thou hast made me triumphant over the spirits of malice, wickedness, fear, doubt and impurity, and Thou hast adorned my face with the radiance of Thy lordship and made it clear and gracious. Confirm this, my Lord, even to the end and always victorious over my enemies, make me through the prayers of the Most Holy, Most Pure and Most Blessed Lady of our Theotokos and Ever-Virgin Mary and all Your saints. Amen. September 3, 1864 No predilection for flesh and matter - everything is earth, rubbish, dust, pus, ephemerality, fireworks. One God is the God of our heart, its treasure, its fullness, peace, food, drink, clothing, space and joy. We are all one: as for ourselves, so for others; I wish well for myself - and I wish everything good for others, and with others I must willingly share my abundant property if the other, that is, my neighbor, needs it and asks for it. God! Against this thy commandment [Matt. 19, 19 ] I have sinned - forgive me and teach and strengthen me to do Your will. Saints are all holy and most holy; how to think about this - their shrine is so simple and undoubted, and doubt about their holiness is the devil’s slander against them, deceit, malice, envy, a dream, the devil’s lie. Amen. The main thing is not to be timid either in church or in front of your disciples (don’t lose heart), but be more generous and superior to them, for they are sheep, children. Not at a party. The enemy constantly immerses you in various passions - constantly arise, be strong and courageous and do not give in to the power of the strength of the Lord Jesus. In order to pass the coming day invincibly from the enemy’s slander and intrigues, pray as strongly as you can to the Lord God and the Most Pure Mother of God. This is the best way to strengthen your weak heart, prone to sin and easily tossed around by the devil, in faith, purity and humility. Remember how the Lord Jesus Christ Himself prayed often to strengthen Himself with prayer, and He commanded us: watch and pray so as not to fall into temptation: the spirit is willing (that is, the evil spirit), but the flesh (man) is weak [Matt. 26, 41]. Do not pray with a sleepy, cold, meaningless and insensitive heart, but with a cheerful, burning, reflective heart, feeling the power of the words of prayer, because the Lord God is eternally cheerful, there is fire, boundless mind, ineffable love. Also pray to the Most Holy Theotokos, the Angels and the saints, for they too are fire from Fire. When asking Christians for progress in life and faith and spiritual reason, 111 freedom from sins and passions, first of all, try with all your might to excel in life, and faith, and in spiritual reason - then you will sincerely pray for the progress of others; otherwise, you will pray falsely, hypocritically, not desiring from the heart the inheritance of God to change the morals of Christians for the better. Remember that you cannot pat confessors on the head, as the proverb goes, but you must firmly rebuke and admonish them and demand correction of morals. Do not be offended when the maid tells you the truth and exposes you in something, for example, in some of your whims; Learn from everyone for the sake of the Lord and the salvation of your soul; in the mouth of everyone please the voice of truth and reproof of sin, for every person like you is the image of God, and through him, as through His image, God can speak the truth. I thank You, Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, for you made me successful in the first grade (Friday), but I stumbled on the boy Frank, whom I took to prepare for law: the absurd enemy wounded me with malice and contempt for him, put in me a dream, as if about his ugliness, as sometimes he puts a dream and charm on a boy, imagining him desired, like some beautiful fruit, kindness. 112 I arose out of the malice and contempt of demons, but I was completely unable to arise, and in the end I was nevertheless significantly defeated, and with the thorns of sin in my heart I left the gymnasium and walked along the road, and came home the same way. God! Be wise and help. I thank You, Lord, because You have made me worthy to be reconciled with the elder, whom You have pleased, and You have driven away the demonic flattery that confuses, darkens and oppresses, and You have given me Your peace, Your light, Your space in my heart. Glory to Thee, our world! Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace [Lk. 2, 14 ]! September 4th, 1864 For ourselves, we do not spare the most expensive dishes, the most expensive materials for clothing and sometimes we pay a considerable sum for one color, to decorate the walls and ceilings and floors of our homes, to furnish them we do not spare huge sums - and for the poor we spare a few kopecks for daily food, for necessary and cheap clothing or for renting an apartment. What if, out of love for the poor and out of a desire to give them alms, we kept the cheapest and simplest, although, of course, healthy table, if we bought only simple, cheap, although decent materials, if we kept moderation in decorating our apartments - how many rubles would we have left, even sometimes tens of rubles left from one month in favor of the poor, who, through our prudence and compassionate love, would be well-fed and decently dressed and would have a roof under which could the wretched ones freely bow their heads?.. Where can we find the wise virgins who received oil in vessels with their lamps [Matt. 25, 1 – 12 ]? Unfortunately, there are many holy fools, incomprehensibly holy fools, who, out of blind pride, live only for their own pleasure, delighting only themselves with delicacies, various clothes, decorations of their bodies and the magnificent decoration of their homes! Why, Christian brothers, do our poor brothers live in the same society with us? Isn’t it to show them our Christian love, according to Scripture: love your neighbor as yourself [Matt. 19, 19 ]? Aren't they our flesh and blood, aren't they human? Aren't we our members? Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy [Matt. 5, 7]. I do not deserve a reward for my service in the rank of priest and in the position of teacher of the law, but, judging by justice, punishment, because I serve the Lord unworthily in both positions, I allow a lot of laziness and foolishness, coldness, omissions, imprudence, and imprudentness. So, Master Lord, do not judge me based on my deeds - I only ask You for this mercy! I do not dare to expect any reward for my deeds, because they are far from perfect and because if there is anything good in them, then this is the work of Your grace: it works with me, unworthy, - my only weaknesses and shortcomings. God! And this is the greatest mercy and reward for me, that You have appointed me to be a priest for Your people and a teacher of the law for Your servants, for Your children. Make me, O Master, capable of performing this great service to You and do not disgrace me while passing through it through my sins, but cleanse me from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, sanctify, enlighten, pacify and establish me, for I am Your servant. Amen. Holy men of God are like the silver of the Lord, kindled, tempted by the earth, purified by the sevenfold [Ps. 11, 7], or like pure gold. This shrine cost them a lot of attention and a lot of work; however, the all-effective grace of God made the feats of self-purification easier for them. Woe to those who madly blaspheme the saints of God and spew slander against them! They blaspheme the Holy Spirit, who penetrates them like water through a sponge or like fire through hot iron, and sanctifies them. If you, brother, do not love your soul, but the flesh, if you do not care about your spiritual benefits, how can you love the souls of others and care about their spiritual needs? You can't. Love your soul in advance, satisfying its heavenly needs - and then you will be a lover of souls, that is, you will love human souls, and not their bodies, and you will take every possible care to satisfy their spiritual needs. And for this reason we are condemned because we give a high price to things, such as fruits, which God gave without price for food and enjoyment to everyone, not excluding the poor. Do not eat or drink with comrades who have come to you when you have already eaten and drunk and no longer feel the need to eat and drink, but treat them and talk with them. Failure to observe this can often lead to gluttony and excess, and this is very harmful to the soul and body. Take heed to yourself, lest your heart be burdened with gluttony and drunkenness, and that day suddenly come upon you [Lk. 21, 34]. To want everything to be my way, to become embittered and irritated when something contrary to my desires happens, especially beyond my expectations, is a sign that I am pampered and proud, and to be irritated because a certain thing does not obey my efforts, not combined with prudence, is madness. One man, in damp weather, opened the window in his room, which was quite swollen from the rains; it opened quite tightly. But then, when it stood open for two hours and it was necessary to close it, it would no longer close, despite any efforts to close it, despite the fact that the frame from below was somewhat cut, the very window frame itself was also cut, and finally, the fact that the frame was hammered firmly into place. This man, seeing that the frame did not close (and before it had closed quite freely), was very irritated during the entire locking process and was furious that such an insignificant, soulless thing was so strongly resisting his efforts, and did not know what to do with such a vile disobedient woman. By all means, he considered her evil and, calling her a cudgel, told her with annoyance: shut up, you worthless cudgel! Imagine what an evil and senseless heart! Furious at the window frame, talking to the soulless frame! Wherever he calmly examines why it does not close and removes the reason that prevents it from closing, he indulges in wordless rage, like an angry chained dog that gnaws at a stick that beats it, or an evil beast that furiously gnaws wood or iron that it comes across when it cannot grab its victim with its teeth. All incidents in life must be turned into a lesson in your life, humbly admit your weakness and insignificance and not at all be irritated by anything, like a beast, but always be meek and patient. Lesson. If in such a short time the window became so swollen from the damp weather that it could no longer be closed, then imagine how our heart, which is so tender, swells and thickens from overeating and overdrinking, and how it becomes incompatible with God, Who is spirit [Jn. 4:24], and not the flesh, for it is said: My Spirit shall not abide in these men forever, for they are flesh [Gen. 6, 3]. So, we must not saturate our hearts with excess eating and drinking, especially wine, otherwise we will not be able to unite it with God, despite any efforts. I am the sinner of all, Lord: prouder, more ambitious, more disrespectful, more contemptuous, more evil, crafty, envious, stingier, more gluttonous, more covetous, more cruel-hearted, lazier, more careless, sadder, cowardly, more fearful, more impatient. I am a fornicator, a blasphemer, and a liar in heart, words and deeds. God! Cleanse the abyss of my sins, the corrupted one, renew me, the bad one, cleanse and sanctify the weak, the darkened by delusion, enlighten the erring one, teach me to always walk in the path of Thy commandments and in the image of fate save me, Thy unworthy servant, for Thy name’s sake. Amen. God! Let me hate myself alone and love everyone; despise yourself alone and honor others; consider yourself alone as not worthy of any honor, and others as deserving of all honor, as created in the image of God, although they bear the wounds of sins; ourselves - more sinful than all, and others - incomparably less sinful and having a lot of good in themselves, just as in truth, as I myself have learned this from many. God! Enlighten us all with the light of Your face, the light of Your grace! God! I have surpassed everyone in my sins! When someone gives birth to someone, then this begotten is, as it were, a part of the one giving birth, or like another one who gave birth, and must be similar to him in everything, namely: he must have the same soul and body as the parent has, and similar spiritual qualities. Thus God the Father begot the Only Begotten Son, and He is the perfect image of the Father; so earthly parents give birth to children in their own image: virtuous - virtuous, vicious - unkind. How is he born of the Mother of God by the influx of the Holy Spirit, and how all-holy is the Mother of God, who together with the All-Holy Spirit incarnated the Divine Son! Thy shrine and Thy greatness are incomprehensible, O Mother of God! Your Divine Son is the fruit of Your womb, is a part, so to speak, of You, a whole, all-perfect part. You are more honest than the Cherubim, You are more glorious than the Seraphim - these ever-flaming Lights and Loves. Human! There is an infinitely great and lofty thing in you, infinite in existence and forces capable of developing indefinitely. This is your soul. But it also contains an infinite number of weaknesses and shortcomings, as consequences of sin. Take care of the soul - an immortal thing, and despise the flesh as transitory, that is, give it only what is necessary and remove all passions and lusts from it. You, priest, take advantage of this instruction (I tell myself) and take every possible care of the souls of your flock, especially the unenlightened ones: many guarantees of good are hidden in them. Educate them. Confession. You yourself know your great sins and great weaknesses and how difficult it is to get rid of them, although you are not happy about them and often become exhausted in the fight against them; you want people to be lenient towards you and forgive you a lot, a lot out of love, which covers everything, as if not noticing the sins of weakness and oblivion or darkness. Apply this to others: and other people with similar weaknesses - be lenient towards their spiritual illnesses, towards their sins, because they themselves are not happy about them, and if they enjoy them, it is out of spiritual blindness, out of deception of the heart. Pray for them brotherly to the Lord, so that He, the Physician of our souls, will heal their spiritual passions; and bitterness towards them is insane and presupposes a multitude of sins in you, for if malice lives in you - this is the greatest misfortune, for which the fallen Dennitsa himself is called the spirit of malice - then, of course, you also have all other sins, for in you is the devil himself, the very spirit of malice, the teacher of all sin. Doctor, heal yourself [Lk. 4, 23]. Pray for each other so that you may be healed [Jas. 5, 16]. Do not listen with your heart to the devil’s slander against your neighbor - our adversary constantly tries to inwardly slander us against him and thereby arouse in us anger towards him. Whether you are sitting at the table, talking with someone, standing in church and praying - remember that your opponent and opponent of God is always with you, the zealous servant of the devil and his nest - your multi-passionate flesh, which with its absurd uprisings everywhere strives to disturb your peace, to darken the light of the eyes of your heart, to make your heart a nasty vessel of passions. Look at her only as an enemy of God and your own, and never put up with her until the end of your life, and resist her with all your might, as the devil himself, that is, when she rebels against the spirit with passions: pride, disobedience, malice, contempt, stinginess, greed, gluttony, gluttony and drunkenness, envy, love of money, laziness, despondency, doubt, fornication, blasphemy, theft, false witness, lies, hypocrisy and other passions. About the gravity of the sin of disrespect for parents. Let him who curses his father or mother die by death [Matt. 15, 4; Mk. 7, 10]. To despise the father means to despise God, the beginningless Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named [Eph. 3, 15 ]; to despise an elder means to despise the Ancient of Days - the Lord, in whose image the elder, the image of God, serves. We must honor our parents in every possible way, as the Lord commands: Honor your father and your mother, and this is both to repay them what they deserve and to console them, and for our own good. For it is said: for this it will be good for you, and may you live long on earth [Exod. 20, 12; Deut. 5, 16]. And in general, we must honor everyone, without excluding anyone, as it is said: Honor everyone (1 Pet. 2:17), for everyone is venerable, as images of God, but parents especially, as the culprits of our existence, upbringing and well-being, as our first lovers and benefactors after God. Out of my malice and my pride, I mentally despised my father, although I verbally honored him, asking for forgiveness and blessing, and in retribution for this, death poured out in my soul and in the limbs of my body, and although outwardly I was alive, I was internally dead: sorrow, oppression, darkness, lack of boldness before God and people reigned in me. I immediately began to repent of myself and say: Have mercy on me, O God... and: Lord our God, who through repentance has granted forgiveness to men... Having sincerely condemned myself and asked God for forgiveness for my madness and insolence, I soon received relief; but not entirely: the past delusion of my heart still weighed down and darkened me. My God! - I thought, - what kind of sinful law operates in my soul and captivates me with its imaginary legality, under the guise of some right, forcing me to be embittered at my neighbor, even at my father and mother, to despise my neighbor, even to my father and mother, to be stingy, even for my father and mother. In my flesh, in my carnal mind, there operates some kind of its own, evil logic, its own hellish system and sequence, its own evil power, its own special satanic rights and laws operate, and from their peculiar sequence, from their violence, one must constantly protect one’s soul, one’s heart, one’s thoughts; we must reject this carnal law, although it has become akin, fused with us, with our hearts (your udah [Col. 3:5]), although it is often pleasant to us. You must constantly have in your heart, just in case, the commandments of God and act in accordance with them, and not at all according to the will of your evil heart. God! Forgive me. I have sinned against you! Remember how one hieromonk did not hesitate to accept a blessing from you [...] - from you, young, but out of pride you don’t want to, you are ashamed, it’s hard for you to say to your wife’s father and yours: daddy, bless! (Near the Dymsky Monastery, a hieromonk from the Solovetsky Monastery.) Oh, demonic pride in man! Where is our humility? The Son of God humbled Himself, becoming human in the form and suffering even to the point of death, but we do not want to humble ourselves before our superiors. Oh, damnation! Oh, blindness! The flesh has its own law: be embittered, be proud, envy, be stingy, be greedy, blame everything, blame others for all your sins, not yourself, but others, love money, make more of it, love sweets, love to eat and drink more, and sleep more, and dress tastefully, go for walks, have fun, go on visits sometimes, go to theaters, play cards, but don’t go to church; be lazy, lie, deceive, swear in vain, hypocrite. God! Save us from this deadly law, so that we do not perish. Each word of prayer is and should be a deed: in relation to the unchangeable truth of God there is a deed, for as it is said, so it is, but in relation to us it should be a deed, that is, we must fulfill what we say, we must be what we want to be according to the words of the prayer, or we are that and are in the position in which the words of the prayers represent us, for prayers are a picturesque image of our sinfulness and poverty or a photograph of our nature corrupted by sins, its cry about pardon and assistance. Woe to him who flatters in prayer, he will remain incorrigible; Every day and hour you must recognize your sinful corruption, your spiritual misfortune, deeply repent yourself and humble yourself before everyone and with a strong but humble cry ask yourself from God for mercy, cleansing, His omnipotent help and confirmation of the heart in truth and righteousness. Grant, Lord, that all of us will be changed by a good change. You know the ways of God, how God punishes and for what and how and for what he has mercy on you - teach these ways to those who do not know them, so that they may correct themselves and learn how to save their souls. I will teach the wicked your way, and wickedness will turn to you [Ps. 50, 15]. Do you want to make a sacrifice of love and thanksgiving to the Lord crucified on the cross for our sake? Have compassion for your suffering neighbors; cry with those who cry, suffer from heart disease with the sick, comfort those who cry and are sad; Feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, clothe the naked, give shelter to the homeless, instruct the ignorant, turn the erring one to the path of truth, give advice to the one overwhelmed by passions on how to get rid of them. Three Jewish youths - Ananias, Azariah and Misail - trampled on the fire of the cave; but we do not want to trample the flame of our flesh, the flame of our passions - pride, contempt, malice, envy, stinginess, covetousness, gluttony, fornication and others. Christian! Look at the cross and, looking, learn from it your duty to crucify your flesh with passions and lusts. You please the belly - and here it is exhausted by hunger for your sake; you love to dress up in soft and expensive clothes - and here the body of your Lord is completely naked and nailed to the cross... You shamelessly stretch out your arms and legs to sin - and here they are nailed to the cross for you. I thank Thee, Lord my God, for through my prayer the flattery of sweetness (I am free: if I do not ask, it means that if I want to remain in sin, then freedom from it is not given to me) Thou hast taken away from my heart and delivered my soul from crampedness and darkness. Truly is Thy word which Thou hast spoken: Ask, and it will be given to you [Matt. 7, 7; OK. 11, 9], and so on. More humane! If you feel a lack of strength to overcome any sinful habit, or custom, or passion and lust, immediately begin to pray and ask for strength from above from God, ask simply, laconicly, as God will teach you. When an adult cries true tears, we sympathize with him. But the baby cries with true tears, because he still does not know how to pretend, he cries when he feels pain or dampness, so you need to have compassion for him, and not be angry with him, an innocent baby, for crying out. He has no patience, because he is still insignificant and because he has no reason. You must curb your dumb heart and not allow anger to nest in it under any plausible pretext. Accustom yourself to kindness and patience. To the sensualist. This sweetness, which you eat and drink with pleasure and enjoyment and which pleasantly tickles your tongue and larynx, will then tickle pleasantly in the belly, and then in the loins and in this secret member, the instrument of voluptuousness. And Satan is an accomplice here, he will instill various unclean thoughts into you, inclining you towards the matter of voluptuousness. Therefore, one must be very prudent and careful with food and drink and avoid all kinds of sweets or delicacies and drinking wine, and maintain extreme abstinence in food and drink. Do you want to conveniently avoid fornication or sensuality? Maintain abstinence and fasting. Pay attention: it was not in vain that the leader of our faith, the Lord Jesus and the apostles, commanded us to fast. Do not enjoy money and do not lust after it, especially when it is connected with the work of God, with confession and other Sacraments; to delight in God alone and to desire Him alone. What do we have in heaven? and from You what did I desire on earth; My heart and my flesh are gone (as if they were not), God of my heart, and my portion, O God, forever [Ps. 72, 25 – 26 ]! To satisfy its needs, let the body desire and seek food and drink, clothing, housing, money and other necessary things, but the heart does not desire any of this as its treasure, as pleasure, as its last goal, for our treasure is God, our pleasure is God, the final goal and end of our desires is God, and everything earthly, and the body itself, is something appendage, posterior, unimportant, accidental, temporary, something extraneous, alien to us, such as a boat in which we sailed and then, when we had completed our voyage, we left it, throwing it on the shore as no longer needed, like any other thing in general that was needed before, and then, after achieving our goal, became completely unnecessary and left to its own devices, to decay and destruction. This will follow with all our bodies, which will all collapse and decay, like collapsed and rotten houses, like worn-out clothes and shoes, like broken vessels, like bricks crumbling from moisture. Let us guard our hearts as the church of God, as the receptacle of God, as the bride of God, who must belong to the one God, must love Him alone: ​​the image is the Prototype, the immaterial is the Immaterial. May God alone be the treasure of our hearts and nothing earthly. There have been countless admonitions from God about this to us, about this our hearts have cried out to us a million times and are constantly crying out to us, that is, so that we cleave to the one God, love Him alone, and do not cling to anything earthly, do not love anything earthly, but consider everything as rubbish along with our body, which may happen with the Lord’s assistance. Amen. August 14th day 1864. Look at every person as love. If you suspect someone of pride, and this suspicion worries and torments you, and you feel contempt and hatred for a certain person, then this is a sure sign that the suspicion is from the devil and is his slander against your neighbor. Condemn yourself, but your brother stands or falls not for you, but for his Lord; he will give his word to God about himself, not you. Doctor, heal yourself [Lk. 4, 23]. Take care of your servants and caress them and do not spare them significant sweets: they only have the pleasure of you to eat well. You have many comforts: housing, food and drink - you eat and drink the best, and you have enough good clothes, and you have money, and you go out to visit and console yourself there; and the servants have all the pleasures you give. They have a holiday, and a guest, and joy, and pleasure when you give them good food and drink. Our common weakness, brethren, is sins and passions; We have a common Savior, a common mother - the Church, this nurse appointed by Him for His children on earth, redeemed by His blood (a common inheritance is prepared for us); common and identical means of healing our infirmities are taught to us in the Church; We all have the same nature. How can we not love each other, how can we not come to church for prayer and teaching? Why isn't our stupid heart worried? Spiritual children go to confession to another confessor, a fellow member of the church, and the heart hurts and the soul is oppressed not because I feel sorry for the spiritual children, but because I feel sorry for their pennies, that these pennies will go to someone else; my heart hurts from offended pride: why am I worse than others, don’t I confess in the same way as others, don’t I have the same power to knit and decide - although, perhaps, it’s not at all because of this that the spiritual children moved to another priest, as if I don’t know how to confess, but simply because of my own, spiritual children, caprice, self-will and inconstancy. And this is our punishment in ourselves for the fact that we do not care about the souls of our parishioners, but care about ourselves and our own pockets. The sheep went to another shepherd - well, God be with it, if only it went to the shepherd and not to the wolf; It’s better for you - you don’t have to answer for her soul before God, otherwise it doesn’t matter who confesses it, me or someone else, I don’t have that burden. And besides, I need to humble myself: such and such found my badness incapable of giving prudent spiritual advice, applying a plaster to the wounds of the heart, they found me feeble-minded in comparison with others - and it serves me right, for I, indeed, myself burdened and bound and darkened by sins, often do not know what advice to give to a repentant sinner, in a word, I am a bad doctor and demand healing myself, according to to what was said: to the doctor, heal yourself [Lk. 4, 23]. The Lord Himself, seeing my weakness, tears away the verbal sheep from me and transfers them to another according to my sins, so that I do not destroy them from my feeble-mindedness, so that this word does not come true for us: if a blind man leads a blind man, then both will fall into a pit [Matt. 15, 14]. So, do not worry about the transition of your spiritual children to your fellow priests, do not worry about your wavy 113 sheep, just as you do not worry about a beggar who is now confessing not to you, but [to] another priest. How long will we have this stupid and base partiality, this flattery of the rich and contempt for the poor? Is this what our faith teaches? Don’t we ourselves ask the Lord almost daily; grant us... faith unashamed, hope known, love unfeigned 114 Do we not hear the Apostle saying: Have faith in Jesus Christ our Lord of glory, regardless of persons. For if a man with a gold ring, in rich clothes, comes into your congregation, and a poor man in scanty clothes also comes in, and you, looking at the man dressed in rich clothes, say to him: it is good for you to sit here, and to the poor man you say: stand there, or sit here, at my feet, then don’t you over-judge within yourself (haven’t thought in your soul) and become judges with evil thoughts? [James. 2, 1 – 4]. How long will this demonic lie remain in us? How long can you still care about your own benefits, about your honor and about your pocket? The shepherd must take every possible care for the salvation of human souls, for teaching and correcting them, for healing their spiritual infirmities. Is it not because our morals have become so corrupted that everyone - both shepherds and flocks - thinks only about themselves, about earthly benefits, conveniences and pleasures, neglecting each other and their heavenly destiny? Isn’t that why we don’t like to bear the cross commanded to us by the Lord, we don’t like to walk the narrow path and we all want to live in pleasure, in wealth, luxury, gluttony? Our entire faith has been shaken because we love only earthly things: money, food, drink, clothing, magnificent houses and richly decorated apartments; We love earthly things, but have turned away from heavenly things, for one cannot serve two masters, one cannot work for God and mammon [Matt. 6, 24], that is, wealth or earthly wealth in general. Only on contempt for earthly things is love for heavenly things founded and established. Caring for the earthly, the sensual, excludes caring for the heavenly, spiritual, is service to the devil: he teaches it, he roots it in us; He, the enemy, knows the duality of our nature, knows that God is spirit [Jn. 4:24] and demands from us spiritual life, so that the body itself is sanctified and spiritualized, so that both work together for the Lord, as one person; knows that [the spirit] does not dwell in a carnal man. The devil knows that we are earth-loving, and so he ties our heart to earthly, fleeting, dreamy things and tears it away from God, and through this false love of the heart, through this false direction, he himself settles in our hearts and lives in them and acts in them as a ruler, ruling them as he wants. God! Enlighten us and teach us to despise the flesh and everything carnal, and be diligent about our immortal souls... Lord! Deliver us from the wrong direction of the heart. When you pray, look after yourself with spiritual eyes: do you pray truly, do you have a true heart, do you believe in the presence and hearing of the One to whom you pray, do you desire from your heart what you ask in prayer, for example, forgiveness of your sins and correction of them; Aren't you being a hypocrite, saying one thing, but thinking and feeling something else? Isn't the heart cold when the tongue speaks the words of prayer? Do you thank the Lord and the Most Holy Theotokos with all your heart, do you glorify the Lord and Lady with all your heart and do you not flatter your tongue? Pay attention to yourself: God loves a sincere, simple, warm heart and hates a flatterer. These people draw near to Me with their lips... but their heart is far from Me... [Matt. 15, 8]. Because we have fallen in love with earthly things too much, because we care a lot about the things of life, we neglect faith, the Church, worship, the Lord, the Lady, the entire army of saints are neglected, our purpose, our eternal bliss are neglected. How long is this? How long will hearts be passionately occupied with earthly things? Strangers and strangers! When will you think about your fatherland? Minute creatures in terms of the earthly body, but eternal in soul! When will you think about eternity? How long is the charm of gold and silver in money and things? Sweet food and drink? Clothes, houses, carriages, theaters, fireworks, rockets - these fun, [so] dangerous and insidious [...]? How long are the cards? How long will the luxurious decoration of the rooms last? Where is the fatherland of the Christian? In heaven, not on earth. The earth is a temporary hospitable home. What is the main misconception of Christians and mine? The fact is that they actually consider the earth to be their fatherland and transfer the bliss prepared for Christians in heaven to earth, want to taste it here and therefore strive for all kinds of pleasures, whoever is inclined to what, completely forgetting about future benefits, which no eye can see... (1 Cor. 2:9), that is, indescribable benefits, and without developing a spiritual taste for them, becoming completely flesh and developing only the taste of the flesh. Woe to Christians: they are false Christians. True Christians philosophize on high, true Christians say: Our life is in heaven... [Phil. 3:20] - and live in accordance with their words, fulfilling the commandments of Christ, bearing their cross, denying themselves, their passions and lusts, and doing good to everyone according to their strength. What other important mistake is there in our lives, from which a lot of evil occurs in the world? – People’s oblivion of their death: in their thoughts they have the conviction that they are eternal, and they are concerned about collecting as much money as possible, acquiring clothes, building houses, etc.; 2) oblivion about eternity or weak faith in the resurrection of bodies, in reward after death and in eternal life or eternal torment. From this the darkness of evil occurs in moral life. Therefore, the holy fathers taught us to ask the Lord, as a great good, for mortal memory. God! Grant me mortal memory. 115 Remember your end, and you will never sin [Sir. 7, 39]. When someone loves a person, for example, the children of parents, the wife of a husband, then in the morning upon awakening from sleep they greet each other and in the evening, going to bed, they say goodbye, kissing their hand or kissing each other; in this or a similar way good children and all people should act in relation to the Lord God: in the morning they should greet the Heavenly Father with prayer and thank Him for a well-spent night and in the evening, as it were, say goodbye to Him, that is, ask Him for forgiveness of sins and a safe passage of the night. When someone loves someone very much, immediately upon awakening from sleep, seeing his loved one awake, he calls him by name and expresses his love to him with affection; so children and people in general, upon awakening from sleep, should immediately remember the Lord, who loves us endlessly, and kiss His cross hanging on our chest, or, seeing His image, immediately bow to it with a reverent and grateful heart. Do not be upset with your wife for any of her mistakes, but, covering up her mistakes, with meekness and love, reprimand her for her faults, and if she notices them, acknowledges them, do not say anything. Love... covers everything (1 Cor. 13:4,7). Lord, forgive me! There is nothing more pleasant for the Lord of peace and love, and there is nothing more disgusting than anger and enmity. When the soul suffers from the fiery and oppressive voices of the enemy, then it becomes more humble, more chaste and much less prone to sin. Otherwise, the pleasures of life and impunity greatly weaken and spoil the soul and make it complacent and prone to any sin. In general, the suffering of the flesh and soul is very useful for us. Glory to the Heavenly Physician of our souls. Glory also for the fact that He allows sin and the devil to torment us, for this is His shovel in His hand, and He will cleanse His threshing floor - our hearts - and gather His wheat into the barn, and burn the chaff with unquenchable fire [Matt. 3, 12]. Against every word of truth, the devil has a word or thought of doubt; every word of praise is opposed by a word of blasphemy; the word of purity and holiness is the word of uncleanness and abomination; the word of petition is a word of denial; a word of thanksgiving is a word of ingratitude; a word of humility and respect is a word of insolence. He seeks to reign in the simplicity of his crafty and evil throughout the entire space of thoughts, desires and activities, internal and external. The hellish dog barks tirelessly at the truth of God, slanderes it mercilessly, denigrates it like hell. God! You are everything: deliver Your servants from the blasphemer of Your truth and teach us to worthily praise You, God in the Trinity, and Your saints - our Lady Theotokos and all Your saints, in whom You rest unceasingly and eternally. Wake up! Amen. The devil enters our hearts through sweets, through excess in food and drink, through desire and greed for money, in general for earthly things, and it is in our body, pampered by the sweets of life, that he produces evil irritability (don’t lay a finger on me), impatience, laziness (and we need patience: with your patience save your souls [Luke 19:21]), malice, envy, stinginess, covetousness and love of money, theft, ambition and pride, hypocrisy and partiality and other sins. Therefore, in the form of one’s own correction, one’s own spiritual benefit, one must deny oneself pleasures and excesses—one must be diligent in abstinence and fasting. Christ! Teach and help! Always be humble in your thoughts and thank God for everything, especially for His Divine revelation of the mysteries of faith, for knowing Him, for knowing yourself: where you come from, who you are and what you are for; for knowledge of the origin of the world, its purpose; especially for the knowledge of Christ, the Son of God, by whom we are saved into eternal life, for the gift in Him of all grace-filled means of salvation; for knowledge by faith of our fate beyond the grave, namely: our general resurrection, the Last Judgment and the endless bliss of the righteous and the torment of sinners. The priest who celebrates early mass in the cathedral must ensure that the drinking houses and inns in the city are locked during mass and before mass, and instruct all the keepers of these houses and householders to observe this. In the church during the late mass, the same priest keeps order so that they don’t talk, don’t laugh, don’t wear indecent clothes. Place a representative observer among the watchmen, who, regardless of their faces, must stop the outrageous. Priests, deacons, and readers are encouraged to serve reverently, loudly, separately, and leisurely. Wake up! Do not order the floor in the church between early and late masses: the dust is stuffy and hard on the lungs and the whole person. There is no my will - I submit to the will of others. I trample on my will. But I stand firmly for the will of God. Whoever loves delicacies, or elegant clothes, or rich rooms, rich furniture, or money - he gives preference to things before God, neglects the Divine, is negligent towards God; for this reason it is difficult to remember God and engage in God’s work; For this reason, God and the Divine are something extraneous, superfluous. Alas for us sinners! We do not love our most good and most generous Father, who gives us everything, and we turn our love to things. We love things, but we do not love God, who gave us soul and body and all things. We love things, but we do not love our neighbor, created in the image of God, because because of things we become embittered towards each other, become angry, envy each other, despise each other, offend each other, turn out to be greedy and stingy. To despise earthly, temporary life and strive for heavenly, eternal, for the true and endless fatherland. 1864 August 16. Everything I have is God’s: both soul and body, thought itself, the laws of thought, and words, and the laws of life (conscience); the body with all its wise structure, with the organs of breathing, nutrition, blood circulation, with all the bones and veins, and the urge for food and drink from God, and for sleep, and so on. I am all God, I am surrounded by God’s mercies every day; but it’s a pity that there are sins all around - in anger, in pride, in ingratitude, in laziness, in impatience, gluttony, covetousness, in the love of this age, in not thinking about the future true age, in anger with God every hour and minute! Alas for me, a sinner! Church services are an expression of Providence, God's care for our eternal salvation. Sacraments too. What a speedy novice is the Most Holy Lady Theotokos, depicted on the icon called Iverskaya! Immersed in malice, evil and blasphemous thoughts and overwhelmed by grief, I cried out to Her in my heart: take away from Me, the Lady, the wildness of the heart and give me purity and goodness and courtesy of the heart - and immediately the wildness of the heart fell away from my heart, and it was reconciled, cleansed to the point of my new oblivion. Save me forever, Most Holy Virgin Lady, all-merciful and all-powerful! Against the countless evil machinations of the devil, God continually reveals to us an infinite number of His blessings, His mercies - Himself directly, through the Most Pure Virgin Mary, through the Angels and saints. Why should I care a lot about what will soon be pus and food for worms and a handful of dust, that is, about my flesh, as well as about everything where it lives, sits, lies, what it eats, dresses itself, and so on? I will take every possible care for my eternal soul, for this image of God, which bears the wounds of sins, and for its healing from sins and passions. But words must be proven by deeds: one must eat and drink only to maintain life and strength, and not for delicacy; dress decently and according to the requirements of the rank, and not for ostentation; to build a home, decorate and furnish it with furniture in accordance with need, without luxury, without chasing luxury, without throwing away rubles and tens of rubles like dust, for this dust can provide food to the hungry, clothing to the naked, shelter to those who do not have it, can help the sick, can save poor and ill-fated maiden innocence from shame. Let us not, like idols, live in magnificent houses, like in churches, but rather let us decorate the inner church of our hearts with purity, meekness and humility, holy simplicity, compassion and mercy, so that we ourselves may become churches of God and may we achieve the never-ending Kingdom of Heaven. St. Paul the Simple (IV century) was a disciple of St. Anthony the Great and was distinguished by his holy simplicity, gentleness, and humility, for which he received from the Lord the gift of clairvoyance and casting out demons. Memory of March 7 (20) and October 4 (17). Myrrh (Greek) – fragrant oil, consecrated according to a special rite and used for anointing in the Sacrament of Confirmation. Irmos of the 3rd song of the Sunday canon at Matins, tone 1. Antiphon 2 at Matins, tone 6. The fourth member of the Creed: He was crucified for us under Pontius Pilate, and suffered and was buried. The 10th prayer of the lamp, at Matins. Zolotnik is an old Russian unit of weight equal to 4.26 g. Zhitomerie (Church Slavic) – a measure of bread issued at a certain time. The Lord said: who is the faithful and prudent steward, whom the master appointed over his servants to distribute to them in due time a measure of bread (Church Glav.: give in time zhitomerie)? Blessed is that servant whom his master, when he comes, finds doing this (Luke 12:42-43). Izhe (Church Slav.) – which. My Spirit shall not abide in these men forever, for they are flesh (Gen. 6:3). Mrezha (Church Slavic) – fishing net, seine. Kokosh (obsolete) – chicken, hen. Troparion to the Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary, tone 4. Grass stone is a relatively soft, loose stone that is crushed into fine crushed stone - grus. Whole (church-glorified) – simple, pure, immaculate. Vegetation (Church Glav.) – a shoot, sprout. Pestun (obsolete) – a caring educator. 3anezhe (church glory) - because. Wed: But you are a chosen race... a holy people, a people taken for an inheritance, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light (1 Pet. 2:9). Here it means “a bast worker, a poor man who does not have boots, but is always wearing shoe covers - peasant working shoes.” The Monk Gerasim of Jordan (March 4/17) removed the thorn from the lion's paw, and from that time on the grateful lion obeyed Elder Gerasim in everything and carried out the work assigned to him in the monastery. That is, a fee, a monetary one. Christ means "anointed one"; Since ancient times, kings, high priests and prophets were called anointed. Flattery (Church Slavic) – deceptive, seductive, insidious. Istyazhet (Church Slav.) – here: will demand back. If the word proclaimed through the angels was firm, and every crime and disobedience received a righteous reward, then how can we escape by neglecting so much salvation, which, having been first preached by the Lord, was confirmed in us by those who heard from Him, with God witnessing with signs and wonders, and various powers, and the dispensing of the Holy Spirit according to His will? (Heb. 2, 2 – 4). Unflattering (church glory) – true, not seductive. The priest's prayer during the Cherubic Song. To brush off (Church Glav.) - to lose, to be left with nothing (from “vanity” - emptiness). That is, don’t be too picky or whimsical. Second prayer of the faithful at the Liturgy of St. John Chrysostom Fr. Succession (church glory) – improvement. Kindness (church glory) – beauty, attractiveness. Wavy – from “wave” (Church Slavic) – animal fur. Luminary prayer 8th, at Matins. Prayer 7, by St. John Chrysostom, from following the future to sleep. You might be interested in: