Раздел 1

Raise your voice like a trumpet. Despise the flesh, for it passes away, but be diligent about the souls, things that are more immortal 1 . You definitely need to fast. Grant me, Lord, to always remember that You are God, King, Father, Provider, Trustee and Judge, reign over us and reward everyone according to their deeds, and to surrender ourselves, each other and our entire life to You. Do not allow self-indulgence, self-government, torturing 2, or avenging oneself. But grant us to always pray for ourselves, for others, and for our enemies, sincerely and constantly. It is unnecessary to give your hand to a person who rejects it. The priest especially needs to know who to give it to and not to give it to, especially highly intelligent girls, so that they learn to appreciate the priestly right hand. You have to go to class earlier. Start mass early. Ask the archpriest for permission. Buy “Atlas of Church History” by L. Petrov. Creations of Saint Ephraim the Syrian, Saint John Chrysostom Fr. Saint Gregory of Nyssa. "History of hymns and hymns of the Church." "Church Charter" Nikolsky. “Teaching about the Fathers of the Church” by Filaret, Archbishop of Chernigov. “Church History” by Dobronravin. The enemy sows his seed everywhere - newspapers, magazines. Alexei Kromido should not be allowed to receive Holy Communion. (...) Lebedev's father Alex, ask "Anglican Church". About the canon of Andrei Kritsky [...]. Do you know how to play the spiritual instrument, that is, read psalms well? This is a truly spiritual treasure that delights the souls of the pious. Looking at the cross and the Crucified One on it, say, striking yourself on the chest: this is for me, this is for me, it is for me that the Passionate One suffers and the Immortal One dies; I should suffer and perish forever according to the truth of God - with His suffering and death He satisfies the truth of God, turns away the righteous wrath of heaven from me, gives Himself as a ransom for me and saves me from eternal torment, from eternal destruction. What will I bring to my Lord, who loved me so much and suffered so much for me? - May I deny myself and take up my cross and walk on Him, may I love my neighbor as I love myself, may I reject from my heart all enmity and malice, all passions. I don’t fight like that, says the Apostle, just to beat the air; but I subdue and enslave my body, so that, while preaching to others, I myself may not remain unworthy [1 Cor. 9, 26 – 27]. This is how necessary it is for a priest, a shepherd of souls, to mortify his body and enslave his spirit! Otherwise, he will only beat the air, his word will be useless and ineffective. Most Holy Lady Theotokos, kill in me the addiction to earthly things, which constitutes illness, sorrow, crampedness, death of my soul, because of which I despise my brother and enmity with him, my heart falls away from God, the source of life, I become a madman. Remember that your heart and your body are the church of the Holy Trinity, and carefully guard both so that they are not desecrated by any sinful thought, any passionate movement, word, deed. In all your life, try to be holy. Always carry the name of the Lord Jesus in your thoughts and in your heart. Help, Lord! Without You we cannot do anything [Jn. 15, 3]. Grant me, Lord, to reign in the power of Your fortress, to reign over passions! Wake up! And forgive, be forgiving, be patient with those overwhelmed by passions in the spirit of Your love, just as You are patient with me, a great sinner, for passions are the violence of the devil, the captivity of man, his misfortune. It is clear that my fatherland is in heaven, because the Lord does not allow me for a minute to cleave to anything earthly and any attachment to earthly things, pity for earthly things, he strictly punishes with fire and cramped conditions; in thinking about things above, in clinging my heart to things above lies my peace, my freedom, my light, my boldness. To be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace [Rom. 8, 6], according to the Apostle and from constant experience. So, may I never forget that I am a stranger and a stranger here, and may I see grief. Those who trust in the Lord are a terrible enemy, and marvel at everyone: for they see woe 3. Isn’t it always the fatherland that everyone who travels to it and returns to it always has in mind? Is he seduced by those things and views past which he wanders, does he stop on the road? - isn’t he in a hurry to quickly reach his native shelter, the embrace of his relatives 4? What about us, of whom it is said: you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of God’s household [Eph. 2, 19], forgetting ourselves? But we will sober up and recover. Let us not be bound by worldly lusts and pleasures, let us hold on to priceless, holy, worldly freedom, through which Christ freed us. And how do we connect? - Ashes and pus. The Lord created everything by number, measure and weight [Wis. 11:21], - the gifts of His goodness and bounty are so many that they are abundantly sufficient for all people and all creatures. But the rich, collecting in their hands, chests, storerooms many many gifts of God and keeping them rapaciously from themselves, deprive thousands of people of food, drink, clothing, work and bury the gifts and talents of God in the ground or indulge in luxury and extravagance and also bury the talents of God in the ground. Thus, those who own luxurious furniture, luxurious clothes, keep a luxurious table, spend on secular pleasures and do not give from their property to the poor - bury their talent in the ground. Woe to the hard-hearted rich! Noticing with your inner eye that the Lord does not tolerate even one sinful thought in us, recognize His holiness and say: Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord of hosts! - and be holy inside and out. Be holy, for I the Lord your God am holy [Lev. 11, 44; 19, 2; 1 Pet. 1, 16]. Every sin is disobedience to God and rebellion [together with] the devil against its Creator. Is it possible to trust your heart when, in its madness, it becomes embittered even at soulless things and speaks to them as if they were animated, as if they were guilty or distinguished? When does it often carry within itself, albeit involuntarily, blasphemy against that which is worthy of every blessing and glorification, when it finds the sun dark and attributes impurity to the purest light, when it becomes embittered towards innocent babies? Hitherto, man, you work in the womb. Don't clog your stomach, otherwise you'll get sick again. The repetition of the same sins and passions strengthens them. Everything is common, nothing is mine. You live in the world and have something or a lot, but remember that there is nothing of yours here - everything is God’s; naked you entered the world, naked you will come out of it [Job. 1, 21]. Therefore, do not be proud and do not consider this, that, the third as yours; do not be stingy, do not be greedy, do not tremble over the gifts of God, but give to those in need. We are one body, and everything earthly, all earthly goods are rubbish. May we live in love, may we despise the devil and his malice and all the passions he inflicts on us. One body, one spirit... one God and Father of all [Eph. 4, 4, 6]. How not to always live in love?! Do not spare anything for anyone: God commands this, for all people and things are under His providence. God consoles those who do not spare anything for their neighbors in need, testifies to their rightness and rewards them a hundredfold. And is it worth being indignant and greedy over such insignificant things? So that... you know how you should act in the house of God, which is the Church of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth [1 Tim. 3, 15]. Speak these words to all parishioners whose house you come to for a conversation, and explain to them the duties of the children of God and the sanctity of the house of God, or the Church, and how they should live holy in the presence of God, the Mother of God, holy Angels and holy people. I know that you, my enemy, are meddling everywhere, and there is no word that this is true, true. Be gone, accursed one, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ - you are in blasphemy, you are in malice, and pride, and in envy, and in pleasures, and in lustful thoughts, and in laziness, and in gluttony and drunkenness and in everything sinful, and in disobedience, and in despondency, and in fear, and in doubt, and lack of faith and unbelief. I just look at you with the eye of my heart: you are a lie, a dream 5. Control yourself and do not be embarrassed by the many different whims of your heart, which is embarrassed and annoyed by the most unfounded or imaginary reasons. Control yourself, so that you will be a prince and king over yourself. Trample the serpent of self-love, do not seek your own, do not have a heartfelt attachment to earthly goods - they are corruptible and transitory, like grass, like a flower, like smoke. Addiction to earthly things is a disease of the soul, very dangerous for its life; because of it you can die forever. Do not begrudge anyone anything, for everything will pass, but when we give others willingly and lovingly temporary things, we will receive for this enduring benefits and eternal bliss, for reward is promised for a cup of cold water [Matt. 10, 42]. Rejoice that your wealth, given to you by God, does not drown in water, does not burn in fire, is not eaten by animals, but by men, rational and majestic, or by sovereign, god-like creatures of the earth, who are to inherit eternal life, heirs of God, children of God, members of Christ, crying: Our Father, who art in heaven... Oh, how little we respect man in general and in the person of himself. God! Grant me to remember the free will of man, with which You have endowed him, and to spare this heavenly gift and not be embittered at those who sin. The entrance to visit you is open everywhere, and you can be a guest every day, but your brother is almost only with you and, perhaps, among your relatives. Don't be offended that he goes often. God will reward or has already rewarded. Live yourself spiritually, abstinently, and you will not be hurt in your heart by the loss of sweets. But the more incontinent you are, the more passions will torment you. What does the altar mean during the great entrance and then the throne? Altar – Calvary and cross; priest and deacon - Joseph and Nicodemus. The throne is the tomb in the garden of Joseph of Arimathea. What is required of those present during the liturgy? - Faith and love. I believe... Let's love each other. Always keep the integrity of love in your heart, without becoming angry with anyone for anything. Serve your neighbors with selflessness. The enemy constantly sets our heart on fire with addiction to earthly things, suspicion, and doubt. We are not what we should be according to thought, according to the will of God, we are not what we came from the hands of the Creator: we are sinful, unclean, disgusting to God; we must be cleansed by repentance, renewed, sanctified and lead a holy life. Looking at the faces of the Most Pure Mother of God, the holy apostles, prophets, saints, martyrs, saints, righteous people and all the saints, we must say to ourselves: this is what we should be! Let us imitate their faith and life! Make me wise, O Lord, to love my enemies and those who offend me and take what is mine. Grant me always to serve You in spirit, truth and strength, Lord! To the glory of the Most Holy, Consubstantial, Life-giving and indivisible Trinity, Father and Son and Holy Spirit. Amen. Direct my steps according to Thy word, and let not all iniquity possess me [Ps. 118, 133]. Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name, Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, as it is in heaven and on earth! Love is long-suffering, merciful, love does not envy, love is not arrogant, is not proud, does not act rudely, does not seek its own, is not irritated, does not think evil, does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; covers all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails (1 Cor. 13.4 – 8). With the measure you use (spiritually and materially), it will be measured to you [Matt. 7, 2]. Having food and clothing, we will be content with this [1 Tim. 6, 8]. Everything earthly is like a ghost, a shadow, a dream - everything disappears, transient, not vital; in God alone is truth, life and perseverance, 6 and therefore cleave to God alone. Let the sweets of the flesh be like bitter wormwood for you, like gore thorns. Who is deceived by wormwood, who is deceived by thorns? Neglect about the sweets that fill the soul with bitterness, filling us with crampedness when we have a heart addiction to them. I have no life, no peace without You, Lord! It’s cramped, gloomy, hard, shameful for me without You. And I am without You whenever my heart clings to something earthly, and not to You. For it cannot work for both You and the earthly together. What do you think is the greatest opposition to my salvation, the greatest work of redemption in the world? - My womb. What is the most important work of God Himself? - The matter of our salvation. For to create the world meant nothing for the Lord, to create Angels meant nothing - everything was brought by Him from non-existence into being. And in order to save man, the Son of God had to be incarnate, the Beginningless One had to begin, the Word had to be infancy and the Word had to be silent, 7 the Perfect One had to grow and come to consciousness and reason with age. Then the Most Pure One had to be baptized, the All-Satisfied and Impassive One had to fast, the Sinless One had to be tempted by the devil; you had to be a teacher of people yourself, go from city to city, from village to village, from place to place, and at the same time endure ingratitude, anger, pride, contempt from people, unbelief, curses; Untired by creativity, industry and carrying the whole world, it was necessary to tire out like a man; The All-Satisfied One, the All-Blessed One, hunger and thirst; finally, for all His good deeds, to take up His cross - a material instrument of shameful execution, and to be crucified on this cross, and in terrible torment to die for us, the ungrateful and malicious, And who and what is trying to destroy and destroy all this work of salvation, which cost so much to the Son of God? - Devil, my womb. For because of the womb there is oblivion of redemption and salvation, nailing to the ground, because of it pride, self-love, malice, envy, fornication, laziness, disobedience and all other passions! Oh, how necessary fasting is! And we throw off the reins of fasting! Crazy horses! And Luther threw off the reins of fasting! He is the Antichrist, all those who reject fasting are antichrists. Anathema to them. Anathema for me too if I don’t stop being voluptuous. Hand in hand with lust and gluttony goes covetousness and the love of money, which is just as much an enemy of the work of redemption as lust. Serve every neighbor, especially a Christian, as Christ and for Christ’s sake, despising his insults to you, his passions. Be like a child - simple-hearted, chaste, kind, trusting, for it is said: if you do not turn and become like children, you will not enter the Kingdom of Heaven [Matt. 18, 3]. Everything earthly is decay, smoke, sleep, morning dew. Is there anything worth clinging to? Some creatures were created from God, temporary, others eternal. The visible (material world) is temporary, the invisible (spiritual world) is eternal. Therefore, the soul should no longer be concerned with the temporal, as if it were transitory, but with the eternal (but with its soul), because it is imperishable, constant. Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness [Matt. 6, 33]. The jokes of the enemy of the devil, daily and incessant, despise, that is, passions. Time to quit the dangerous game of sins. Sweets and money interfere with my true life, tear me away from it. Give up greed for them and despise them. It is difficult for a person addicted to earthly things to avoid wounding and relaxation of the soul and body, because his soul is often captivated by thoughts about earthly goods, for example, about sweets, elegant clothes, richly decorated rooms, money, etc., it is captivated when pomp and freedom of spirit or philosophizing about heavenly things are required, which, according to the Apostle and from experience, is life and peace [Rom. 8, 6]. It is difficult for a self-loving, proud person to avoid wounding and relaxation of the soul due to these very passions, because with the strengthening of his carnal pride, especially due to the satisfaction of his belly, he relaxes in true, unfeigned love for God and neighbor, he loves more the pleasures of the taste and belly, delicacy and satiety, than God and his neighbor, his eternal good; he despises his neighbor whenever he needs his grains, his money, in general, those things that he himself passionately loves; for example, he always relaxes and becomes indignant in spirit when a beggar approaches him asking for alms, especially if the same one approaches him every day, especially if many offer their requests. A self-loving and proud person has a passion - to despise those who stretch out their hands to accept alms, although they are worthy of pity and love; to despise often - why do you think? - for the fact that he is in rags, or for the fact that he is a beggar, that he begs for alms every day, that is, he finds himself forced to beg, for that, that is, for which one should feel more sorry for a person, that he is placed in such a bitter necessity that we do not have. We are insensitive and ungrateful brutes! Oh, I look with contempt at the rich, who, despite their great means of living, do not want to give alms to the poor and despise them, scold them, slander them in order to justify themselves! I say: I look with contempt, and I know that it is not a sin to despise such people, because it would be a great sin to respect such people, for they are unworthy of the name of a person, much less a Christian; I despise them when they ride in a rich carriage, or walk in a rich outfit, or sit majestically in their living rooms on rich armchairs and sofas, for when a beggar comes to them, they order with contempt to drive him away. These are monsters of humanity. God! May I never fall into such madness! Protect me from this free madness. What should you ask God for most? This is what it’s about: about a pure heart and about not taking away the Holy Spirit from us for our sins. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a right spirit in my womb. Do not cast me away from Your presence and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me [Ps. 50, 12 – 13]. For what is a person without a pure heart? A self-propelled machine whose end is destruction. What is a person without the Holy Spirit? – A spiritual dead man, carrying a dead soul and a legion of smart pigs in a living body 8. The devil strongly dislikes loud, clear priestly service, and therefore he tries in every possible way to confuse, crowd, or weaken the serving priest or deacon, so that his voice is weak. But like a trumpet, they must lift up their voice. Rejoice, Lady, for the Lord is with You and in You forever. You are the eternal church of the Lord. I thank You, Lord, invincible in mercy, for You have granted me the grace of purification in the communion of the Holy Mysteries. Like frivolous women, we chase the colors of our clothes. Kamilavkas, cassocks, cassocks. I receive everything freely from the Lord; it is also free to give. And rubbish, is it really valued? Is it possible to despise the salvation of the soul? But the human soul, and the image of God in it, is it really so little valued? What do the miraculous icons of the Mother of God prove? The fact that the Most Holy Theotokos is always with us, like a Mother in the house of God, and is always ready to protect and save us from troubles and passions, if only we would resort with faith to Her sovereign protection, like children to the Mother, like slaves to the Queen and Lady. What is the purpose of the Christian faith and the Church? – Eternal life of Christians. Let’s assume that everything you do as a family man and a citizen is good, but the question is: are you achieving the goal of your Christian calling, that is, eternal life? Not reaching? Bad, very bad, crazy of you. A rational being must certainly achieve the goal of its calling and election. Take any person in the world, any art or craft, anyone engaged in art, everyone achieves his goal: a painter paints pictures, portraits, a sculptor makes sculptures, a carpenter builds houses, a joiner makes furniture, a shoemaker sews boots, a tailor makes clothes, a bookbinder binds books, a farmer plows the land, etc. How does a Christian not achieve the goal of his Christian calling, how does he not learn to live like a Christian? How does one not achieve holiness? Artists and craftsmen have aids, tools with which they achieve their goals: a painter has a brush and a palette, a sculptor has a chisel, a bookbinder has a machine, a shoemaker has a last, an awl, a brush, a tailor has scissors, a needle or a sewing machine, a farmer has a plow, a harrow, etc. What aids does a Christian have for achieving eternal life? – Fasting, prayer, contemplation of God, Baptism, Confirmation, Repentance, Communion, reading the Holy Scriptures, doing good deeds, attending worship services, imitating the deeds of the saints. Damned, I indulged in insane laughter when I served at home the six-month funeral litany for my father-in-law, mother-in-law and father, and from the deceit of my heart I could not pronounce the words of the funeral litany! How my heart relaxed! Sinned, damned, insane. Lord, have mercy on me. Oh, the stench of passion! Oh, tea! Everything is God’s and everything is God’s, and God is love; May we live in love and unanimity. Trying to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace [Eph. 4, 3]. Remember constantly that you walk every minute in the presence of your Lord and King, holy and righteous, good and omniscient, all-wise, omnipotent, unchangeable, and in the presence of the Most Holy Queen and Lady. Remember that you live in the house of God, that you are a member of the Church, a member of Christ’s body, that your Head is Christ, and your soul is His Spirit. Live according to His Spirit, according to His commandments. If they offend you, hand over both yourself and the offender to Christ God, just as the Lord gave Himself and His enemies to Him who judges righteously. Whatever work you are doing and it does not succeed through no fault of yours, commend both yourself and your work to the Lord God, who works in us both to will and to act according to His good pleasure [Phil. 2, 13], the Lord, from whom man’s feet are straightened [Ps. 36, 23]. In a living, clear consciousness and firm memory one must have the Creed, all its members or the subject of each, the commandments of the Lord - to believe and do; also the destinies of God in the creation and redemption of the human race. I glorify Your goodness, Your goodness and quick intercession from sins, Our Most Holy Lady Theotokos, revealed to me, a sinner, on the 7th of this February from Your Tikhvin icon, which is in my reception room: You saved me from contempt 9 and gloating through my prayer. What will I repay You for Your multiple salvation from my evils, Most Blessed Lady, my good one, my dove, my quick-to-hear? I bring this prayer as an auspicious gift to You: deliver me completely from my evils, my sins, my passions. O all-singing one, heal my soul, which is sickened by the rage of evil passions, even as Christ gave birth to the Physician and Savior of all, who heals every disease of those wounded by the devil’s bitterness and delivers us through death. In order not to be offended by despisers, proud and evil people, imagine that their contempt, pride and anger is stupidity, worthy of laughter or regret, and do not pay attention to it or pray for the despiser. Otherwise, will we always respond to stupidity with stupidity? Remember that the pride and contempt of others towards us is most often a response to our pride and contempt for them. The cross is a constant testimony, clearly presented, of God’s love for the human race (God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son [John 3:16]), and at the same time a constant encouragement for us to love God and each other. As I have loved you, so you also love one another [Jn. 13, 34]. Notice the good sides in your family and imitate them, for example, in brother Alexei - meekness, gentleness, obedience, devotion; in sister Anna - helpfulness, chastity, etc.; in the father - meekness, gentleness. Know the spirit of the Gospel and act on it in all circumstances of life. People, pampered by happiness, are often not happy with anything, they are tired of everything, they are offended by all sorts of trifles: someone looked the wrong way, said something they didn’t want, they get offended; they get irritated for an insignificant reason, pour out their anger even on soulless things, punish them, beat them, break them, throw them away. They forget that others are the same people, the same rational, free beings like them, and they are equal in humanity. A sign that the darlings of happiness can be proud. Generosity is such generosity - stinginess aside! Let her title not exist! A person and a thing, although it is expensive, cannot be put on the same level! And don’t you mean the property that is in heaven? And aren't you full today? Need it for tomorrow? - God will send. Should it be sent to both - poor relatives, acquaintances, pious persons, poor people, to various institutions for charitable purposes - spreading Christianity, helping the poor, establishing churches, etc.? If not, no one will claim it. And where is the hope for God’s providence? Naked I expired from my mother’s womb, naked I will depart [Job. 1, 21]. O age of thorns [Lk. 8, 7 ]! Lift your eyes to the only Lord and trust in Him alone, but hitherto you trust in sweets, as experience has shown, and you worshiped idols with them, pitying them and hating your brethren because of them. Whether someone indulges in luxury at your expense, or robs you, hand over this offense to the Lord calmly, with complete devotion; impute it to Him, as if you gave Him everything that your neighbors took, for they are His creation, His redeemers, His members, children, images... and do not grieve over the loss. If the Lord redeemed you and your neighbor with His blood from eternal death, then why will you spare your neighbor? Remember that the spirit of attachment to earthly things is the spirit of the devil. By worrying about the flesh, the devil distracts our attention from the soul. But is not the soul greater than food, and the body greater than clothing? [Matt. 6, 25]. So, seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you [Matt. 6, 33]. Pity, petty conservation of sweets, clothes with fear, so as not to [overdo it], not to stain it with the smoke of censer or something else, the hunger for honor is from the devil, his sting, his spirit; to despise everything, to consider it as rubbish, so that we may please God, may we please the Savior, may we take care of souls. What a noble, kind man my father-in-law is! At Al. Ivanovich Lebedev. Religious ignorance of the common people and women's society; the proud and insane ignorance of the so-called noble society, its lack of faith, mockery of the faith, the Church, sacred persons - why? It is necessary to write an essay about the Church, about worship, about the Sacraments. Oh, where our nature is seated - on the throne of the Divine! How do we not sigh for the Lord, how do we not strive for the honor of a heavenly calling through cleansing ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, through holiness and deeds of virtue? Modern education is designed to suppress Christianity in the minds and hearts of youth. The goal is achieved. That's how it happens. Look at the life of youth. And don’t public entertainments suppress Christianity? Theaters, clubs, etc.? What about fashion? What about games? - All paganism, only refined. Without any prejudice or partiality, in pure, naked truth, look at every person as created in the image and likeness of God and restored by the Son of God made man, and look at every person with respect. God! I thank You, for You have granted me on this past day to be preserved by the grace of the received Holy Mysteries and abstinence in holiness and love with my relatives. To her, Master, grant this all the days of my life, or more and more to please You. By often being in the community of famous people and talking with them, we little by little become like them, adopting their properties, character, and habits. Thus, talking often and sincerely with God and with the saints in prayer, we borrow from them and assimilate their properties. Hence the benefit and necessity of prayer. We are not only sensual, but also spiritual. Prayer connects with the spiritual world; whoever does not pray breaks his connection with the spiritual world and disfigures his spiritual nature. The Church is a guide to the spiritual world, to heaven. A Christian who has the enlightened eyes of his heart, seeing the corruption of all earthly things and his own body and human bodily life in general, and also seeing their transitoriness, their disappearance, rejoices about this with the thought of his heart, because behind the corruptible he sees the incorruptible, behind the corruptible life - incorruptible life, behind the transitory, changing things - the imperishable, unchanging, and does not cleave in the least to the former, and thanks God for everything. But he who is blinded by the eyes of the heart grieves and suffers, is indignant at the fact that everything here is fleeting, and yet cleaves to perishable things, seduced by feelings. Oh, the age of time! Oh, the charm of beauty 10! Who does not delight in the true age! For a prudent Christian, decay is a teacher and a reminder of incorruption, and transience, disappearance - the imperishable, non-vanishing age. Society must develop comprehensively, and not one-sidedly: religiously-cognitively, morally-Christian, politically, and not just politically, or, worse, gastronomically, [...], in general in the sphere of gross sensuality. What do we have? Extreme one-sidedness. There is no faith either in the mind or in the heart. The development of a Christian should be primarily internal, in the mind and heart - rebirth, renewal, but with us all external development is at the expense of the internal, all our knowledge is primarily directed towards the external, material world, and not towards the spiritual. How did God's holy men - apostles, martyrs, hierarchs, saints, unmercenaries, etc. - educate themselves? How did you develop as a Christian? We need to learn from them. They are new people, they are true sages. Are you unreasonable children that you allow yourself to play cards and other games almost constantly? Oh, I did not sit with a vain crowd [Russian: I did not sit with lying people]... and I will not sit with the wicked [Ps. 25, 4 – 5]. The cross is an instrument of the most severe suffering of the God-man, an instrument of our redemption, a pledge of the immeasurable love of the God-man for people, a symbol of the crucifixion of the flesh and all our passions - we often use it only for vanity, for vain splendor, without thinking about what has been done on it and about the responsibilities that it places on us, for example, about self-sacrifice for the sake of our neighbors, about patience, mercy, meekness and humility, abstinence. I am the most prodigal son of the Heavenly Father, for with so many powers granted to a pious life, I still do not live according to the commandments of Christ, I still live like a pagan - in voluptuousness, the desire for jewelry, in laziness and other passions: malice, pride, envy, intemperance, stinginess. Those who sinned before You, Lord, - I despised one of Your little ones, to [them] in Thy supreme love You assigned Your guardian angels - because of the dust, because of money, O Lord, I despised the despised, became enraged, as if I had received it relentlessly and still asked me for this money. Where is meekness, where is humility, where is kindness? Where is the mercy for your own flesh and blood? Where is the compassion? Where is the memory of the Lord Jesus Christ, who laid down His soul for us, who endured the cross and death for us? Where is the memory of the words of the Apostle: bear one another’s burdens, and thus fulfill the law of Christ [Gal. 6, 2 ]? Where is the thanksgiving to the Lord for countless mercies? Whether others treat you kindly or unkindly depends on you, on you: start treating others kindly, and they will treat you the same way. Conquer anger with affection, do not consider anyone dependent on yourself, but on God, who gives everything to everyone. Don’t judge the disposition of a person’s heart by their face: make a mistake and fall into the enemy’s snare. Reject evil suspiciousness: love thinks no evil, covers everything, endures everything, never falls away [1 Cor. 13.4 – 8 ], even if we were scolded, beaten, even if those who hated us cast fiery glances at us. Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you [Matt. 5, 44]. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good [Rom. 12, 21]. What to do? You can’t meet affection everywhere and not from everyone. But there are incomparably more lovers than enemies, and, firstly, the Lord God Himself, the Most Pure Mother of God, all the Heavenly Powers, all the holy people of God and many, many of the pious who know us love us immensely. What does all the demonic hatred, the hatred of wicked people mean? Flee hatred as the greatest delusion. To sincerely love your enemies, remember that they are in darkness, delusion, under the violence of the devil, by whose teaching they hate us. Remember how your enemies were often kind and friendly to you when you yourself were kind and friendly, and that they are at enmity against you most of all because before you were internally at enmity against them. Be inwardly disposed towards them and you will find them also well disposed towards you. Most importantly, do not have the pride to consider them obligated to you if they use your table, clothes, etc., but to God alone; do not humiliate a person - he is the image of God, he is the king of the earth; if you behave with dignity, rejoice about it and do not sacrifice a person to your pride, ambition, and voluptuousness. Remember that the enemy constantly plots intrigues over a person, constantly slandering others: that is why slander, condemnation, anger and other passions. People have many different characters, morals, and customs. You can’t force everyone to live in your own way. We must adapt to people, have patience, and condescension. A tree does not resemble a tree, and a person does not resemble a person - sometimes from birth and God’s wisdom, sometimes from original and parental sin, sometimes from upbringing, sometimes from community, etc. But love is one and always the same and tries to bring everything to unity, trying to maintain the unity of the spirit in the union of peace [Eph. 4, 3]. A skilled musician brings diverse and opposing sounds to unity, and makes harmony out of diversity. Sometimes the specter of evil before us grows and grows, more and more (for example, suspicion or empty suspiciousness reaches extreme proportions: everything seems wrong to a person, everything offends, irritates, leads to annoyance and anger). There is no need to give food to suspiciousness and stop it at the very beginning and remember that every sin is a ghost. I am the breath of God: will the Lord leave the breath of His mouth? Will the wife forget to have mercy on her fiend? Even if the woman forgets this, the Lord will not forget us [Isa. 49, 15]. In addition to the creature, constantly raise your heart to the Creator, do not cleave to the creature, cling more closely to the Creator: in Him and from Him is life, bliss, everything. God! For Your sake, Who has exhausted Yourself for my sake, I am exhausting my possessions, so that I may gain You. For your sake, I want to drain away the old man, so that I may put on the new one. Help me! You are called a servant of God - you must develop from yourself a pure image of God, a pure heart, pure virtue. God wants to work out of you pure spiritual gold, pure light, so that you may shine like the sun in the Kingdom of the Heavenly Father [Matt. 13, 43]. When a tree burns, the fire and smoke go up, and the coals and ash remain below. So, when a person dies, the spirit goes to God, and the body is consigned to the earth, like earth. Are you preparing for fasting or are you already fasting? I advise you to imitate in this case the merchants who sell food supplies. They are fast eaters, they clean everything up and prepare everything that looks lean in advance. So, so to speak, all of you, so to speak, leave off the humble food during Lent - fast food, secular books, newspapers, magazines, games, theater, entertainment, and put before your eyes everything that is conducive to repentance: the Gospel, the Bible, the lives of saints, in general spiritual and edifying books. Over me, the Lord performs a miracle of His goodness, wisdom and omnipotence, renews, transforms me through baptism, or rebirth with water and the Spirit, sealing with the Spirit, communion of the heavenly Holy Mysteries, and the resolution of sins. Do I pay attention to myself and the Lord, do I cherish it, do I give thanks? Am I updating? Am I throwing away the rags of sin? We are all His people and sheep of His pasture [Ps. 99, 3]. You see, it’s God’s pasture, not ours. Oh, with what love and simplicity we should sit at meals! If you are offended, insulted, devoured, rejoice in the very deprivation that it is not you who offend, devour. Why would you rather not remain offended? Why would you rather not endure hardship? But you yourself offend and take away, and from your brothers [1 Cor. 6, 7 – 8]. Consider everything as rubbish. Cling to God alone. Always consider yourself not obligated to others, but always consider yourself obligated to others and constantly humble yourself, do not be angry. Your family takes care of you, they value your peace, and you take care of them, and you value their peace. They respect you - and you respect them, however, even if they don’t respect you, you respect them so as not to be deterred from virtue by the sin of others, which is a dream and a ghost. I negotiate luxury for others, but I myself indulge in luxury in food, drink, clothing, and home furnishings. Hypocrisy! Despise the ghost of sin and passions and do not agree with them. I thank Thee, Lord my God, for now, during Matins, by Thy great mercy, Thou hast saved me three times from my passions, when I fell to the throne of Thy grace, and Thou hast granted me peace, and boldness, and spiritual strength, and to stand in truth. Glory to You, my hope, my mercy, my love! Love for God and neighbor is peace, greatness and pleasure of the soul, for what is more pleasant than to love and be loved by God and people, and enmity towards one’s neighbor is constant languor, sorrow and tightness of the soul, for the evil devil sits in the enemy. They say that I sing well and enliven those standing in the church with my singing. Nice to hear. May the glory be to the Lord. We must rejoice over the consumption of our material goods by our neighbors, and not grieve, for perishable things are rewarded with incorruptible goods and the consumed perishable things will not burden us, our thoughts, our flesh, our hearts. The natural properties of a tree and a plant in general are very difficult and impossible to destroy, and so it is very difficult and impossible for a person - a sinner and brought up in certain rules, skills, dispositions, and without the grace of God, to change into the opposite: for example, arrogance into humility, stubbornness into obedience, passion for fashion into impartiality and love for simplicity and unsophistication. Sin and passion have the power of nature. Therefore, we must treat people who are subject to any weaknesses or passions carefully, condescendingly and patiently. Love is patient... not easily provoked... [1 Cor. 13, 4 – 5 ] I spent time in spiritual sweet conversation with Marya Arsenyevna (Cat. Peter. Nad. Danil.) and with Evgenia Fedorovna Britneva. I wish it would be like this more often. You need to exercise yourself in the word more often, in the word of piety - with it the machinations of the enemy are crushed. You need to have communication with people, with fellow employees. This is necessary for the development of brotherly relations and feelings of love, friendship, and respect. He who forgets this falls into various networks of enemies. Let the sign of the cross and the cross remind you every time of the endless love of God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ for you, who laid down his soul for us, and of love for your neighbors, even for your enemies, for the Lord Jesus prayed on the cross for His enemies, for His crucifiers and scoffers, for those who took off His clothes and shared them - His last earthly possession. And you love the Lord with all your heart, love passionately, and love all your neighbors, even your enemies. For this is what the Christian faith consists of. It’s amazing how insidiously and annoyingly the enemy of the human race undermines respect in the heart for sacred words and for the sacred personality of a person. We must constantly be awake in heart and mind and force ourselves to respect every word of Holy Scripture, prayer, to respect every person, especially our own household, to boldness instead of cowardice and despondency brought upon the soul by Satan’s malice. February 17. After Matins, I read the Akathist to the Savior sluggishly, intermittently, with heartfelt impotence; He did not finish the Gospel at the prayer service for the martyrs due to the cunning of the enemy. I read the Akathist to the Mother of God in a house near the [Italian] pond with force - I forced myself and read it well, with boldness, truth and strength. God! Grant that I may always bring You prayers, praises and thanksgivings in truth and power. I thank You, Lord, I thank You, Lady! I thank you, Lord, for you heard me in my sorrow and had mercy; I thank You, Lady, for You heard me, being in sorrow, and You had mercy (in the apartment of Andrei Fedorovich Strelnikov). February 17 at 11 pm. Notes from Nikolai Matfeevich Umanov to me: I speak sermons quickly - I need to do them less often, not in a hurry. On earth the priests are praying for you, in heaven - the Mother of God, all the Heavenly Powers and all the holy people. The earthly hierarchy is an image of the heavenly one. What golden reciprocity! What hope it inspires in sinners! Glory to the holy body of the Church of Christ, whose Head is Christ! Glory to the Orthodox Faith! For Roman Catholics, everything is almost earthly: the earthly supremacy of the pope, earthly dominion - the heavenly is eliminated, overshadowed by the personality of the pope. Romans! Food daddy crucified for you? Are you baptized in the name of your dad? I am all God’s - I don’t want to know sin. As the Lord pleases, as the Lady wills, this is what an Orthodox Christian should most often say. You need to communicate with people, go on visits: there family members, who for some reason are at odds, become closer, become friends, become softer, more frank; When visiting, both my wife and my family are always kinder and more accommodating. When anointing with oil, one must always say: in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. I thank You, Lord, for You quickly stepped in and saved me from sin and the oppression and sorrow of sin, when I cried out to You with faith and hope, bending my knees. February 18, 1867 There is no need to attach your heart to a single beautiful thing in the world, but to the one God, not to a single sweetness, not to a single earthly honor, not to wealth, but to the one God, the source of life, for he who attaches his heart to things cannot truly and sincerely love either God or His image - man, his neighbor. How many times has the Lord admonished us and continues to admonish us about this, but we are still speechless, we are still deceived. Oh, darling, oh, ghost! We forget the simplicity and speed of our heart, how quickly, like lightning, it can either fall away from God or cleave to Him, or sin or do good. How long will we be foolish children, how long will we be lawless, impudent children before God? How long until we reach perfect reason? How long can we amuse ourselves with corruptible things and not care about the soul, its salvation, purification, sanctification, perfection? How long will we not think about achieving the fulfillment of Christ in the measure of our age? Gluttony, covetousness, selfishness, pride and the passion of unified possession alone keep us in the hands of evil and in the claws of the devil. Deny yourself - and you will conquer all passions as one, and you will invariably love God and your neighbor as yourself. The devil does not cease to pursue his goal with firmness and constancy: to cleave us to earthly things and plunge us into all passions - but are we sleeping? Why don’t we despise earthly things and don’t think about things above? Why don't we love each other? God! I thank Thee, for I have shut up 12 me in the hands of the enemy [Ps. 30:9], and in my prayer of repentance you quickly had mercy on me. Glory to Thee, my consolation, my God, my mercy! Glory to You, who constantly revives my faith and my hope in You! It is strange to see God incarnate, it is said, let us withdraw from the vanity of the world, and place our minds in heaven 13. But I am a priest of Christ and do not withdraw from the world, and do not cast my mind on heaven, but philosophize about earthly things. Do you treat everyone, both at home and outside, as members of Christ - meekly, with respect, love, edification? Look: food and drink, clothing, money, everything is Christ’s goodness, which will not run out. Give up greed. Place your hope in God alone. Where did you get the idea that others should respect and love you, but you should neglect others, I mean those at home? Looking at the Lord of glory crucified on the cross, think about the need to crucify your passions and actively strive to mortify pride, malice, greed, envy, stinginess, prodigal uncleanness, stubbornness, laziness, etc. I would go around the whole city myself, eat and drink from everyone, if it were possible, but when others eat and drink at your place, it’s a pity! Oh, greed! Oh madness! How long do we trust our hearts and accept lies as truth? How long until we blow and spit on the hidden and nesting devil in him and break off all connection with him? How long will we not become wise in spiritual warfare? After all, we know all the techniques with which we can conveniently defeat our enemy, weakened by the Lord! Leave the providence for your relatives living in your homeland to the providence of the all-watching Lord: He cares, and you know yourself and, under the pretext of caring for your relatives, do not sin at home every day and outside it. Walk with an open face, cheerful, humbly meek, contented. Everyone in the village is happy - the Lord has produced enough bread. Are you clinging to corruption or to the temporary? Is it because of the corruptible Lord that you anger and offend your neighbor? And to this day the Lord meekly tolerates you, the beast, and your neighbors do. O Lamb of God, take away the sins of the world! Grant me to be a lamb all the days of my life; If they take off my fleece, if they beat me, if they lead me to the slaughter, may I be a lamb, not opening my mouth and not being embarrassed within myself, not thinking evil, but trusting in You in everything, for You are the inexhaustible sea of ​​all gifts, especially the gift of life, and you are preparing eternal life for us for being faithful to You in the temporary and for sacrificing the temporary, serving within our power and pleasing You in the temporary. Whose spirit is the greed for food, drinks, wealth, luxury, pleasures, clothes, decoration in general? - the devil. Whose spirit is selfishness and selfishness? - the devil. Whose spirit of stinginess? - the devil. Whose is the spirit of pitying perishable goods for those in need of neighbors and not pitying the powerful of the world who lack anything? - the devil. Whose spirit is the desire for earthly pleasures and aversion from everything spiritual, church, from spiritual pleasures? - the devil. Whose is the spirit of impatience, anger, irritability, pride and arrogance, envy of neighbors in their earthly well-being? - the devil. Whose is the spirit of dissatisfaction with anything, waywardness, frivolity, stubbornness, disobedience to elders, rudeness and insolence? - the devil. Whose is the spirit of bliss and laziness? - the devil. And whose spirit is opposite to all these sins? - the spirit of Christ. So, reject all these sins and cleave to Christ, acquire His spirit, for if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not His [Rom. 8, 9], - and I, a communicant of His Holy Mysteries. Alas for me. Teach your parishioners, your spiritual children, what it means to have the spirit of Christ and how necessary it is for a Christian to have His spirit. Constantly lament that you do not have the spirit of Christ, and day and night pray to the Lord that He would grant you His Holy, Heavenly Spirit. You will reach this point and will not pass, but your waves will be broken within you [Job. 38, 11]. So say to your passions and to their teacher, the devil: in you, in your insides, or mine, the waves of anger, pride, irritability, stinginess, greed, love of money, fornication will be crushed. Don't trespass outside. Looking at the crucifixion of Christ, at the cross, think: here my sins are crucified, my old man is crucified - may I no longer live in sin, may I be a new man, a new mixture, new clothing, new wineskins. Looking at the icon of the resurrection of Christ, think: behold, I am co-resurrected and co-resurrected with Christ; behold, the human race has risen with Christ: may I be resurrected from dead works, that is, from sins and passions. Looking at the icon of the Annunciation, think: here is the gospel of my salvation, here is the main thing (beginning) of our salvation, and the manifestation of the sacrament from the ages: the Son of God, the Son of the Virgin comes 14, here is the deification of my nature, here is the union of heavenly minds with earthly ones! Yes, the celestial one is wise! May I preach to myself and to others day by day (every day) the salvation of our God. [Further there is a gap of one and a half author's sheets. – Ed.] Looking at the evangelists depicted on the royal doors, think: these are the evangelists of my Lord, filled with the Holy Spirit, who announced to us the mystery of the incarnation, life, teaching, miracles, prophecies of Christ, His suffering, death, burial, resurrection and ascension into heaven. Here are preachers proclaiming to people about the unsearchable love of God for the human race and the renewal of their nature (and themselves renewed), about the victory over death and the resurrection of humanity! Yes, I constantly philosophize about the mystery of salvation! May I continually gain wisdom for the salvation of myself and others! Looking at the icon of the (Baptism) of the Nativity... With reverence and love I kiss the Holy Chalice as the very rib of Christ, which flowed out blood and water for my salvation, to wash away the sinful defilements of my soul; I kiss the holy paten, on which the Lamb of God is eaten, taking away the sin of the world and mine, and is crushed and divided for the faithful, in its essence always remaining whole, unbreakable and undivided, always poisonous and never consumed; I kiss the holy liar, like those spiritual tongs with which Seraphim took a burning coal from the heavenly altar and cleansed with it the mouth of the soul and body of the prophet Isaiah, or like the most pure hand of my Savior, giving to me with ineffable love, surpassing the love of any mother who feeds with her teats the offspring of her womb, His most pure Divine Body and Divine Blood as food and drink for me, may He cleanse, sanctify, deify, strengthen me and make me a partaker of His Divine nature forever; I kiss the face of the Lord of hosts depicted on the star, who so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, so that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life [Jn. 3, 16], and I gratefully remember the very star that appeared in the sky at the birth of the Savior and indicated to the true wise men of the east the King not only of the Jews, but also the King of kings of all kingdoms and peoples, the true Almighty and Lord; whole copy, depicting the spear with which the side of the Savior was pierced, bleeding blood and water for our salvation; I kiss two sacred dishes with the image on one of the crucifixion of my Lord, on the other - the Annunciation of the Archangel to the Blessed Virgin Mary - these two extreme main points of our salvation, for with the Annunciation our salvation began, and with the crucifixion and death on the cross it was completed, as the Accomplisher of my salvation said: accomplished! In. 19, 30]. I kiss the lip, reminiscent of the lip that was filled with love and with which my Savior and God were given water for my voluptuousness, for my delicacy; I kiss the wiping handkerchiefs, reminiscent of the cloth that was on His head, buried, and which was moistened with the blood that flowed from His head, with a mercilessly beaten reed, pierced with thorns - all the accessories of the Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist, for everything here is kind to me, everything seems to breathe the Savior’s love for me, everything speaks loudly about His unspeakable self-sacrifice and self-exhaustion for me, about His love for the human race. My sister Anna and I grew up like crooked, rotten trees: only God can fix them. Correct us, Lord! The heart is a cesspool, a stinking, unclean pit: turn away from it, cleanse it with tears of repentance and thoughts of God. Speak the names of the reigning family with all your heart and with your heart, with a loving heart - then you will not stumble. Pride is stupidity; as stupidity and always look at it and, if you yourself are subject to it, immediately leave it, if you see those subject to it - have pity, if they show it in front of you - do not become embittered, do not despise each other, but pray for them, that the Lord will reveal to them the heights of humility and give them this virtue. Do not try to quickly drive out a person’s pride: in some people it passed from their parents from the very beginning or into the blood, then it took root during upbringing and took deep roots in the heart and throughout his entire being: should you tear it out from there? And can you quickly tear it out of your heart? You yourself are growing old with her. Pray, pray for yourself and for proud people like you, so that God Himself will humble them, and endure them as God endures. We abhor carnal filth, but not spiritual filth, and willingly and with pleasure we drown in sinful filth! Enlighten our blinded eyes, Lord! The bodily eyes are open, but the spiritual ones are closed! Those are healthy, and those are sick! Through the first, as through windows, every sin enters the soul and destroys it, and blinds it incessantly. If we do not stand for piety, for our sacred dogmas, laws, customs, rituals, holy institutions, for example, fasting, worship, then little by little everything can weaken. We must stand and affirm others, especially those who are hesitant. The sin living in us, the passions operating in us, constantly lead us into stupidity and stupidity. Let us deny ourselves. Come, let us worship our God the King. Come, let us worship and fall down before Christ, our King God. One must not only call the Lord King, but also must certainly try to obey Him in everything, for what kind of king is there to whom His subjects do not obey? Blessed is the Kingdom of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit - that is, we must obey and diligently serve the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Active lessons everywhere! The Lord Jesus Christ laid down his soul for me, redeemed me from eternal torment, granted eternal life - how can I not give alms to Him in the person of a beggar and my neighbor in general, even to the last shirt, if need required it, just as I will not forgive my neighbor his debts and sins? Truly, the Lord has given me infinitely much, but I give Him so little, I thank Him so little, I do so little that is pleasing to Him, and if we take the multitude of my sins and compare them with some deeds that are not displeasing to Him, then these latter will be like nothing. Truly, we must feel sorry for sinful humanity, for sins are an ulcer, a cruel disease, incurable, and darkness, violence, such violence that a person sees the abomination, madness, absurdity of sin, shuns it, freezes himself internally, and after a minute is again carried away by it; cries about sins - and soon again commits the same sins for which he cried, and amuses himself with his own destruction, drinks his own destruction. O dearest Savior, almighty Savior, save us! Do you, man, know how to deal with this beast living in you, I mean sin? Be smart: you must kill him, otherwise he will kill you. The fruit of the Eucharist is heartfelt thanksgiving, unity of spirit with everyone, contempt for earthly goods. Do you have it in you, communicant? Are you a sheep or a goat? – You will recognize it by your properties. If you are proud, angry, greedy, stingy, then you are a goat; if he is meek, humble, kind, self-controlled, then he is a sheep. God! I thank You, for through my prayer, through the laying on of my priestly hands, You healed the youth (Kostylev). February 19, 1867. Oh, encouragement, oh, consolation for the unworthy minister! Just as in official places [royal] the name of the royal majesty is constantly written and pronounced in decrees, so in the church, which is a place of the special grace-filled presence of God, the name of the Lord God in Three Persons is constantly heard - the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit - either in the Trisagion hymn, Holy God, or in the prayer of the Most Holy Trinity, have mercy on us, or in short doxologies: Glory to the Father and To the Son and the Holy Spirit, or: For Thy name is blessed, and Thy kingdom is glorified, the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, or: For Thou art Holy, our God... etc. Give us our daily bread today, because today we are alive, but tomorrow we may die: who will have what we have prepared? Moreover, the Heavenly Father provides for everyone, so long as we are not lazy, but work. Sitting at the table, think: God will abolish everything earthly, all sweets - rubbish, trash and belly [1 Cor. 6, 13 ] (there will be neither one nor the other) that we are all one and everything is common; be afraid of the single thought and feeling of instant contempt and hatred for your eating and drinking brother, for the devil is accustomed to turn into an excuse for contempt and hatred of the brother even the fact that he eats and drinks with us supposedly from our table, and not from God’s meal, for we are all sheep of God’s pasture and have nothing of our own, and our very labors are the greatest gift of God. So, manage not to consider anything as your own business and be in friendship with those who walk with you, what you have gained through your labors, and especially what has been given to you 15 by God’s grace and bounties. Give up pride and anger: see, they grow stronger and take root. Appreciate the infinitely dear soul of man - the image of God - purchased at the price of the priceless blood of the Son of God, and put all the blessings of this world in comparison with it and do not at all quarrel with your neighbors because of them. It is good to strengthen hearts with grace, and not waste, from which he who walked in them received no benefit [Heb. 13, 9]. One incorruptible meal - the Body of Christ and His Blood, in which is eternal life - is enough for me, for my life in Christ. And everything else will be added to me, for I am a worker of the Lord. And a good owner always satisfies his workers. God alone is all my contentment. I am the Lord your God - may you have no gods other than Me [Exod. 20, 2 – 3], – and we have so many other gods! We retreat from the true Lord God in our hearts. Take into account Brother Alexei’s readiness to work, to help you and his actual work, and willingly keep him in your house on your bread, for he is a brother. Honor him with his honor, as you would like to be honored. To your daily good deeds, add the most important thing to him - love, without which good deeds lose their value, show meekness, humility, kindness and do not allow the enemy to rob you daily, incessantly. Remember that you live in the house of God, before the eyes of God, in the presence of the Queen Mother of God, the holy Angels and all the saints. If you thanked your father for bread and salt, tea and sugar, and he did not answer you, do not be upset or irritated: you did your job, otherwise that is his business; You are not responsible for your father. You never know what's not done the way you want - not everything is on line. Cover, ignore the infirmities or whims of the old man: he is a man. How many of these infirmities and whims do you have? Cover other people's weaknesses, and God will cover yours too. Where we see an ulcer, we need to apply a plaster; Where we see malice and pride, let us apply kindness and humility, and not bitterness, and we will not become proud of each other, for this is madness and an increase in evil, illness, and ulcer. Use the system of coercion over yourself more often. The Kingdom of Heaven is in need, and the needy [Russian: those who use effort] delight it [Matt. 11, 12]. When reading the word of God, the writings of the holy fathers, during prayer, we must be able to reflect with our mind and heart on the essence, meaning, power, truth of each word, because sometimes even one word, thought out and felt by us, can produce an important and quick change in us for the better or can shed tears of tenderness, repentance, or tears of gratitude, or the spirit of triumph, doxology, and indeed each word itself, like a verb The Holy Spirit resting in the saint of God is very important as a word of truth, and must be pronounced with reverence, with understanding, with feeling. During the divine service, my brethren, you see those very sacraments and rituals, those sacred vestments, you hear those readings and chants that were with the great saints of our Church who performed these services and pleased God, for example John Chrysostom, St. Nicholas the Wonderworker, Anthony and Theodosius of Pechersk, Peter, Alexy, Jonah and Philip, Mitrophania, Tikhon and Demetrius of Rostov and other saints; This means that the divine service and all its rituals, the very sacred clothes, the holy icons, the cross, everything, that font in which we were baptized and are baptizing all those who resort to God, or those born in sins from their parents, are especially honorable for us, for everything churchly is, as it were, imbued with the spirit of salvation. Do not push around your neighbors, do not break, do not get angry in front of them, do not despise them in your malice, for they are in the image of God and in the likeness, they are members of Christ, and we are all firmly commanded to love: love one another. The Lord constantly punishes those who violate love, for He is the Searcher of hearts and wombs, the Judge, who has to reward everyone according to his deeds. Henceforth [know] that taking care of the belly, pleasing the belly is shameful, ungodly: gluttony plunges into all passions; The more we please it, the more power it takes over the rational soul, the more it plunges into animality and dumbness. We must completely despise the belly, which (including the dishes) God will abolish [1 Cor. 6, 13]. Elevate an unworthy person in words, really or imaginary, so that through your elevation he will be encouraged, consoled and feel respect for himself and behave in accordance with this feeling. God! You have now repeatedly shown me Your mercy: I thank You, most merciful, long-suffering, quick to obey! Heaven and earth were astonished at this and were amazed, for God had appeared as a man in the flesh. 16 How do people now relate to this greatest work of God? - Cold, indifferent, as if he were the most ordinary person. How do they relate to the Gospel of the Lord, to His covenant? - Same. How do they treat the lesser brothers of Christ, in whose person the Lord Jesus Christ Himself deigns to accept donations according to His own unfalse assurance? - Contemptuously. How do they feel about the future Kingdom to which they are called? - With disbelief, indifferent. To future torment? - With disbelief. Why does the Church often beg the Lord to grant us various blessings through the prayers of the Most Pure Mother of God and all the saints? To remind you that we are members of the most holy society of the Church, this body of Christ, that if one member suffers, all members suffer with it; If one member is glorified, all members rejoice with it [1 Cor. 12:26], that the saints constantly, out of their great love for us, pray to God for us. Look at the bodies of people as if they were members of Christ, holy. God! I thank You, for through the communion of Your Holy Mysteries you again 17 raised me, who had fallen, into Your shrine and pacified me. We must remember that we are children of one Heavenly Father, Who is all love, that we are one, that we are brothers. Love is long-suffering, merciful, does not envy, does not boast, is not proud, does not act outrageously, does not seek its own (for example, in sweets, money, clothes, willingly giving up what is pleasant and dear to others, and reserving the worst for itself), covers everything, believes everything, hopes everything, endures everything. Love never fails [1 Cor. 13, 4 – 8]. We are all one body of Christ, we are all like the one and indivisible Christ Himself. Just as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me [Matt. 25, 40]. We are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones [Eph. 5, 30]. We, who are many, are one body [1 Cor. 10, 17]. There is one body and one spirit, just as you are called to one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in us all [Eph. 4, 4 – 6]. Grant me, Lord, the strength to remember that You have endured my fornication, anger, intemperance and drunkenness for a long, long time, and even still tolerate it, and grant me to endure the stench of tobacco smoke from my father with complacency and not to be irritated by him because of the smoke. Strengthen love in me, Lord! But no matter what, it disappears! Remember about ten years ago the incident on Easter, when I could not stand my father smoking tobacco and bitterly told him about it - how the enemy tormented me! How much repentance there was! March 27. False appetite. And don’t trust your appetite: the greedy flesh lies. She eats and drinks often, so that others do not get the sweet piece of drink, or so that they do not throw it away, take it out, or that food and drink are in front of her eyes. All these are bonds of soul and body! One must be free from everything carnal and only satisfy the necessary feeling of hunger in order to strengthen the body. Look steadily to God! Live in peace above the world. It is undefiled to keep yourself from the world. Do not love the world, nor the things in the world: whoever loves the world does not have the Father’s love in him. For all that is in the world: the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life [1 Jn. 2, 15 – 16]. The lust of the belly, the greed of the belly: it is full, but everything is hungry, everything is greedy. Oh, the devil's slander. The devil constantly slanderes each other so that we humiliate, despise, hate each other, and be at enmity with each other. Man is imbued with voluptuousness, greed, pride, and envy. Do not believe or follow any movement of the carnal heart, because it is a lie, pride, malice. God! I thank You, for through my prayer You saved me several times with the salvation of mercy, peace, freedom and strength. (March 25.) The cross inspires: 1) how dear the salvation of the human soul is and how it must be treasured, 2) how much God loves the world: God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten Son [Jn. 3, 16 ], 3) how we, Christians, must love each other fervently, bear each other’s burdens, deny ourselves for the good of others, 4) that there will be judgment, eternal torment for those who do not believe and resist the Gospel, living according to the flesh - and future eternal life, 5) that we must crucify the flesh with passions and lusts, the flesh, the author of all evils, 6) that we must to despise earthly things as charming 18, unfaithful, corruptible, temporary, 7) what if they do this to a green tree, then what will happen to a dry tree (to us, a dry tree, barren)? [ OK. 23, 31]. Glory to Thee, Lord, glory to Thee, glory to Thee, my only and perfect belly! To look to You with all my soul, to cleave to You with all my heart, rejecting from the heart all worldly pleasures and addictions, means to become animated, that is, to be imbued with Your Divine life; this happened to me on March 20, 1867, during my illness, and this happened to me often before. How much sweetness the Lord has hidden for those who cling to Him with all their hearts, while we languish in clinging to earthly sweets! The bad direction of the soul appeared today in a dream: the enemy threw me first to high society balls, sometimes to simple dinners; at the first I stared and fussed and became vain, at the last I ate an abyss, greedily. Always remember that you are in the image and likeness of God, and let your soul cling to the one God - my soul clings to You [Ps. 62, 9]. Pity for pleasant foods and drinks consumed by neighbors, combined with bitterness towards one’s neighbor, is the spirit and work of the devil. In general, addiction to worldly goods - clothes, furniture, etc., is the spirit of the devil, and it is extremely necessary to beware of any addiction. For a true Christian, even if the whole world now disappears with all its sweets, beauties, charms, he will not complain, he will not be afraid. For a Christian, the only treasure is Christ and the fulfillment of His commandments. A true Christian does not envy anyone, because he considers and sees himself immeasurably enriched in Christ. A true Christian has no hatred or enmity towards anyone, because he considers everyone to be brothers, children of God, members of Christ, for whom everything is Christ; considers himself the most sinful of all, is angry with himself alone, hates sin that lives in himself, equally in others (but not subject to it); He considers all disdainful, evil, unclean, envious and other vicious thoughts in himself regarding his neighbors to be devilish slander, a ghost that has nothing true in himself, he despises them and calms down, cutting them off immediately from himself. In the Lord Jesus Christ is my full and perfect belly. What you yourself enjoy abundantly, why do you regret it for others? Avoid sweets: they relax both soul and body, and always eat bread in moderation, without the slightest satiety. The servants [do not] see you as good and sweet, but they are the same people, they want what is good and pleasant. And you, as the owner, taste many different sweets. For ten years I have been going against the servants, and against the household in food and drink. Look at any evil that you notice in yourself or in people in such a way that 1) it is itself an ugliness and disgraces a person, 2) that it itself is a punishment for an evil person, 3) that the person subject to it is worthy of pity and 4) that, therefore, it is unreasonable to be angry with an evil person, but you need to feel sorry for him and you need to pray for him. Clinging to the sweet bread and wounded in my soul, I just said from a sincere heart: It is easy to cleave to You alone, 19 when suddenly it became easy. Grant, then, Lord, that I alone should cleave to You with all my heart, and not to bread, food and sweet drinks, not to money, not to soft, expensive or colorful clothes, not to a dwelling richly furnished, decorated, not to cabinets filled with silver and gold cutlery and teaware, not to visible things at all, for my soul is the image of You, the invisible eternal God, and itself invisible and eternal, and life here is an exile, a pilgrimage and a temporary sojourn, and that my life is in the invisible God. What is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal [2 Cor. 4, 18]. So, Lord, do not allow me to hope or cleave to these earthly idols - grain, sugar, generally sweet, fruit, metal, linen, wool, silk, wood, clothing, etc., etc. Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, I thank Thee, for through my prayer Thou hast quickly taken away from me the indignation of unrighteous anger and unrighteous enmity, and, having cleansed my sin, Thou hast granted Thy peace, Thy freedom and space to me. March 29th, 1867. Flatterers are our great enemies: they blind our eyes, do not allow us to see our great shortcomings, and therefore block our path to perfection, especially if we are proud and short-sighted. Therefore, we must always stop the flatterers who speak flattering speeches to us, or avoid them. Woe to him who is surrounded by flatterers; good is he who is surrounded by simpletons who do not hide the truth, albeit unpleasant, for example, exposing our weaknesses, errors, passions, and mistakes. God! I thank You, for You have shown Your mercy to me, a sinner, and when I cried out to You, You quickly heard and pacified me. (I regretted the wine for brother Alexei, the wine bought for the sick.) I prayed to the Lord to cleanse my sin, to let me cleave to Him alone, and to nothing, to do all this for the sake of His name, for the sake of His mercies, ancient and new. And he created it. Morning of March 30th. Friday of the 5th week of Lent. I thank You, most merciful Lord, for through my prayer you took away my inner mental sin and pacified my soul. Glory to Thee, All-Merciful, All-Wise, Miracle of Mercy! Grant me to always hope in You with all my heart and not to place a single hope in soulless things that cannot give life. Grant to live in love with your family and respect them as you would yourself. When I desired this from my heart and asked You, I suddenly felt so at ease, so peaceful. Glory to You, Provider! You tell me: don’t worry about anything - I am near you, always with you, I myself always take care of you and your relatives in order to provide you with everything you need. Be at peace and have Me constantly in your heart and before your eyes, keeping your heart pure and repelling from it every sin with My grace and your zeal. (He felt sorry for his brother Alexei, who was eaten and drunk like an expensive parasite.) There is enough for everyone, we all eat from the Lord. The whole law of God consists in loving your neighbor as yourself. Therefore, by unceasingly loving every person, especially those at home, we would fulfill the law of God. But the devil, our primordial, ancient, cunning enemy, seeing such importance and holiness of the cause of love, daily and by all means and reasons intensifies to instill hatred of each other in our hearts, to arouse enmity towards each other. A true Christian, who must be wise, like this ancient serpent, and whole, like a dove, like the Holy Spirit, must know these tricks of the ancient serpent and laugh at them, be inaccessible to anger, pride, envy, disobedience, intemperance and other passions, always overcome evil with good, be meek, kind, patient, uncovetous, trusting always to God, to those who are abstinent in everything, etc. May the Lord help every Christian to abide in this way. By all means, with all the strength of the soul, we must hate sin, because it greatly hinders the union of our soul with God and intensifies to tear us away from God forever. O sinful man, I love sweet things, but I love my neighbor incomparably more and I willingly sacrifice sweet things to my neighbor, for all sweet things were created for man, just as much for me as for others. I am not a pagan so that I should worry about what to eat and what to drink or what to wear, for the pagans seek all these things [Matt. 6, 31 – 32], but a Christian who is entirely in Christ, for whom everything is Christ. How often do I live as a pagan and worry about what to eat and drink or what to wear? Why do I turn from a Christian into a pagan? Or does Christ faint in me, and does not continually demonstrate His strength and His providence? Try to pray to the Lord both at home, in church, and in the homes of parishioners with the faith, sincerity, and love with which the holy fathers who composed these prayers prayed. May the Lord help you. That you may be filled with all the fullness of God [Eph. 3, 19]. And He is the head of the body of the Church [Col. 1:18], which is His Body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all [Eph. 1, 23]. You, O Most Immaculate One, and you, O holy men of God, primarily eat His body, the fullness of the One who fills everything in all, and then, as soon as 21 we move away from sin, we are cleansed, we live holy, and we constitute His brow and His fullness, for what are the imams, who have not received Him from God? For God works in us both to will and to do according to His good pleasure [Phil. 2:13], for we are the church of God and the Spirit of God lives in us [1 Cor. 3, 16], for Christ is in us, unless we are unskillful, for many of those who live Orthodoxy and piously are the abode of the Holy Trinity, according to what was said: and We will come to him and make an abode with him [John. 14, 23], or: I will dwell in them and walk in them; and I will be their God... and you will be My sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty [2 Cor. 6, 16; 18]. Know your great greed, man, and diligently despise it, crucify it, not allowing yourself to overeat, get drunk, desire a lot of money, a lot of clothes, spare the sweets of others (for you are especially greedy for sweets), not love and despise those who live on your support because they share with you the sweets that your greed would like to absorb alone, for it will have enough of everything everyone, just let us live in love, harmony, unanimity and like-mindedness. Know, know your passions, their absurdity, madness, ugliness, mortality and run away from them, you, created in the image of God, the breath of the immortal God. April 1, 1867. Lord, I thank Thee, for by Thy ineffable mercy from great evils, from the great storm that arose in me due to my pride and stubbornness, impatience, pride and my malice, Thou quickly delivered me and great confusion into peace, cramped space into space, the fire of Gehenna into coolness, into the dew of Thy holy grace, and You took away the enmity with my relatives who did not allow me to walk in unfavorable weather. I see my self-love, pride, anger, waywardness and stubbornness! I should have immediately bowed to the admonitions of love, be patient, stay at home, but I definitely, adamantly wanted to go out and thereby aroused strong indignation against myself, harsh, although truthful words (spoiled, stupid intention, etc.) on the part of sister Anna. I am unskilled in love, or, better yet, I do not have true love, for love is not irritated, it endures everything, it covers everything [1 Cor. 13, 4 – 8]. Oh, sin, sin, ferocious sin! We must rejoice over every deprivation of the flesh, about every deprivation of carnal pleasures, and not grieve, to love those who deprive, and not to hate. God! I thank You for Your great mercy, as I, in a storm of passions, in sorrow and oppression, You saved me through the prayer of my repentance and, having cleansed me, You pacified me. O inexhaustible abyss of mercy, Lord, glory to Thee! April 1 evening, 9 o'clock. Saturday. Moral teaching - do not spare sweets. Think about heavenly sweets. Oh, perversion of the Divine order! - I need to cleave to God, the source of incorruptible, eternal sweetness, but I cleave with my heart to perishable sweets, falling away from God and from my brother’s love! We must seek heavenly treasures - holiness, meekness, gentleness, obedience, eternal life, but I am looking for earthly ones! We must take care of acquiring and preserving incorruptible clothing, but I soil incorruptible clothing and take care of perishable clothing; I must strive for eternal abodes, but I myself am seduced by a perishable dwelling. Woe to me, who has acquired such a disposition and such a spirit that is contrary to the Gospel, a pagan spirit, because the pagans seek all this [Matt. 6, 32]. I must seek eternal peace through temporary labor, but I seek temporary peace; should seek heavenly, eternal glory, but I seek earthly, temporary glory. But for how long? When will I acquire the heavenly spirit? The more you eat and drink, especially nutritious, tasty food, the more you will gravitate, cling to the earth, and the more the image of God will be eclipsed in your soul; The same must be said about money, and about clothes, and so on. We must remember that the dust will return to the ground as it was; and the spirit returned to God, who gave it [Eccl. 12, 7]. So, when wood burns, the air hidden in it rises upward in the form of smoke, to its original source, and the earth, in the form of coals and ash, remains on the hearth 23. Despise the flesh, be diligent about the soul, mortify the flesh, fast, work, stay awake. Watch yourself carefully, so that your heart does not cleave to anything earthly, but to the one God. He who cleaves to God certainly and as if naturally loves his neighbor, because the neighbor is the image of God, and if a Christian, then also His child, a member of Jesus Christ the God-man and His own member: because we are members of one another [Eph. 4, 25 ]; because we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones [Eph. 5, 30]. And to everything earthly - to food and drink and their sweetness, to earthly beauty, to clothing, to glory - he is indifferent, for he cannot serve two masters, for his heart cleaves to the Lord, is absorbed by Him, by love for Him, and in the Lord for him everything earthly, all the charm of the world seems to disappear, even his own heart disappears, old, sinful, passionate, merging with God into one spirit: My heart has disappeared [Ps. 72, 26 ]; cleave unto the Lord; there is one spirit with the Lord [1 Cor. 6, 17], because in God he is enlightened and sees the true price of all things earthly and heavenly, especially sees the vanity, vanity of everything earthly, truth, immeasurable superiority, eternity of spiritual goods; he finds in God the cleansing of sins, and the holiness, peace, lightness, true freedom, joy in the Holy Spirit that is characteristic of our spirit, but lost; he finds in God his own spiritual food and drink, spiritual sweetness, and a spiritual robe, light, adorned, white as snow, and indescribable beauty, which he will forever admire, and an unapproachable light, with which he will forever shine, and a dwelling appropriate to the soul, just as he himself will be a dwelling, the abode of the Holy Trinity. Our old man, our old, passionate heart is some kind of monster, a demonic animal, a wild, fierce beast. He must be killed, crucified, despised, hated. About all holidays and Sundays, about all the Sacraments, services, rituals, sacred things, about the holy church, we must reflect on what they mean, why they were established, by whom; how they benefit a Christian, how to look at them, how to handle or treat them. Without reflection, everything can become a dead thing for us, a dead letter. Since everything that I have from the products of the earth are gifts of God, and not my property, the Lord gives them to whomever He wants, and I must willingly and joyfully give them away, without losing favor and love for those who take what belongs to me; The Lord is able to give a lot for faithfulness in little things. With the measure you use, it will be measured to you [Matt. 7, 2]. God's truth demands it. It will be measured, if not here, then in the next century, the century of retribution and imperishable rewards. Does what you have truly belong to you, as the fruit of great labor? Isn’t it the Lord sending you? Avoid greed, pride, stinginess, and covetousness. April 2, 1867 Lord! I thank You, for you are unceasingly merciful to me and do not allow my soul to be denigrated by enmity towards my neighbor and alienation from him, especially for the sake of sweets and for the sake of frequent visits to my neighbors - oh, how much fighting sometimes happens, how much embarrassment - and turning both abuse and embarrassment into nothing through my prayer, like an all-good One, my all-powerful and invincible Fighter! Lift up the gates of your princes - your passions - and the King of glory will come in. Who is this King of glory? The Lord is strong and mighty, the Lord is mighty in battle [Ps. 23, 7 – 8]. The place of the Lord is in the world, and the devil is in the confusion of the soul. And His place would be in peace [Ps. 75, 3]. Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you [Jn. 14, 27]. Know by your confusion that the devil is in you. All passions trouble the soul. Like the Lord's earth, and its fullness, the world and all who live on it [Ps. 23:1], so is my apartment also the Lord's, and the fulness thereof, and all that are in it. And we must treat the Lord’s good honestly, and remember our ulcers and our priceless salvation, and always thank the Savior. Love Me in My members, who believe in Me, says the Lord God: what you do not spare for Me, do not spare for them. Sacrifice to Me what you love, what is precious to you, your best. We should not neglect visiting guests: this visit reveals how sociable we are towards each other and whether we respect each other cordially - do not forget communication [Heb. 13, 16], it is said; the inclinations and dispositions of our hearts, our passions are also revealed, for example, greed, stinginess or indifference to sweets and generosity, pride or humility, malice or goodness, impatience or patience, impurity or chastity, self-interest and covetousness or unselfishness and non-covetousness, selfishness or friendliness, guile or simplicity, trust in God or in earthly things. Having recognized the inclinations and passions of your heart, it is more convenient to correct yourself from them. In general, our virtues or passions are recognized in serving our neighbors in any way - whether through our own acquisitions, our property or labor, service, hospitality, hospitality, alms, intercession, etc. We should not shy away from this service to our neighbors, which is so varied, but serve with joy, with the confidence that we are serving Christ Himself. Work for the Lord Jesus, says the Apostle [cf. Acts 20, 19 ]; whoever wants to be great among you must be a slave to all [Mk. 10, 43]. And to do this, you need to break your pride, pride, lust, envy, selfishness, laziness, stubbornness and other passions. You fool of little faith, don’t you know for yourself that for every person there is a certain limit, more than which he cannot eat or drink? Therefore, we must earnestly ask those who come to eat and drink without ceremony as much as they want, and not to be greedy, not to spare anything. The Lord will multiply you like the loaves and fishes in the wilderness. You have to be hospitable, welcoming to everyone, affectionate. Every day we are tempted and still cannot learn to live according to the Gospel, in love and unanimity. When consuming food and drink, we must try not to eat alone, but with our neighbors, with whom we live and who come, firstly, in order to avoid through this the greed of bread, which acts uncontrollably in private, secondly, for the sake of the communication of love, for we are one body and everything we have is God’s, thirdly, because if we get used to eating alone, we conveniently get used to gluttony, satiety, pride, stinginess, and when We share our sweets with others, when the meal is shared, then sociability and friendliness develop and the aforementioned passions are weakened. Are you a beast, running away from communicating with people at home and, like a beast, looking askance at those who eat and drink in your place, always hungry and thirsty, like an insatiable beast. Meanwhile, you know for sure that man will not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God [Matt. 4, 4], that the distinctive feature of a Christian is abstinence, carelessness about food and drink, meekness, gentleness, non-seeking of one’s own, non-covetousness? Stupid behavior. Meanwhile, you read the Holy Scriptures and partake of heavenly bread. All who stand in the church are as one man: One body, one spirit [Eph. 4, 4 ]; the priest is the shepherd, and those standing are the sheep: how much higher is the shepherd of the sheep? However, he must be the servant of all of them; the whole royal house is like one person, names must be pronounced equally, slowly - there is nowhere to rush; Only we must hurry to get away from bad deeds, from passions, and the divine service must proceed smoothly, calmly, evenly, firmly. Do not be ashamed or afraid of a single strong and glorious person standing in the church, for you are God’s servant and are exalted above all those standing in the church, even above the one who wears purple, a crown and a scepter - and do not be ashamed of him or fear him. When we rush to perform divine services, prayer in general, we rush to the vanity of life and for the sake of it, but we must move away from the vanity and with all our hearts devote ourselves to the work of God, the work of salvation, the work of serving and pleasing God and our neighbors for salvation. Man is priceless, created in the image of God: his soul cannot be redeemed at the price of the material world, everything is subjugated under his feet, everything is like rubbish before him, therefore there is no need to spare anything for him; Yes, and he should not cleave to anything, be above everything earthly, trample on everything: gold and silver, sweets and clothing, and the rich decoration of an earthly dwelling, etc., but cleave with all his heart, with all his thought, with his strength to the one God, from Whom and through Whom is everything and in Whom is everything. Do not despise the little ones who ask for alms, but give them little by little, for you yourself are well-fed, clothed, shod, have a rich apartment, and a constant income. Remember that their Angels in heaven always see the face of My Heavenly Father (Matthew 18:10). Lord! My wisdom, I thank You, who makes me wise in the knowledge of sin and the wiles of the devil and who takes away my iniquity. You say: the embarrassment of greed, pity for earthly things for one’s neighbor and all sorts of passions are from the devil; carelessness, calmness when our earthly goods are destroyed - from God. Do not be sad about anything: the Lord is near [Phil. 4, 5]. I will never leave you nor forsake you [Heb. 13, 5]. I thank you, for through inner prayer you saved me several times, Lord! April 3, 1867. Food and drink are expensive - it’s a pity, but a brother, a neighbor, for whom Christ shed priceless blood and died, to whom he gave His flesh and blood for food and drink, is not dear? Corruption, insignificant dust, is precious, but man, gifted with the image of God, who has to live forever after the resurrection of the flesh, is not precious? - Priceless, and before him all is dust. You yourself are dear, but your brother is not? Are we not one body? Do you not seek 25 the one body of Christ? Will not Christ reward? You are Christ's, it says. And whoever gives you a cup of water to drink in My name, because you are Christ’s, truly I tell you, will not lose his reward (Mark 9:41). Oh, how much we love ourselves, our flesh, which must be despised, crucified, how devoted to our stinking belly, which God will abolish along with the waste! How long we do not look at food, money as children’s toys! How long we are not content with the necessary! When you say: we are all the work of Your hand, then pay attention to the structure of the human body, how wisely it is structured, especially to the soul, created in the image and likeness of God, and reverence the Creator and gratefully glorify Him. On Easter - about the resurrection of the dead! How many people of every nation have died from the beginning of the world until now - and all will be resurrected. The dead will be resurrected, and those who are in the graves will rise, and all earthly creatures will rejoice 26. We will die - and we will rise again. Almost the entire earth is sown with human bodies, and everyone will rise. What does it mean to bury a body? The same as storing, that is, until the general resurrection. What does it mean that the body is sown [1 Cor. 15, 44 ]? - That it, like a seed, will rise. What does gluttony lead to, what does evil greed and stinginess lead to? To burden and desecration of the flesh at night, and perhaps in reality; to coldness towards one's neighbor in his sorrow, illness, poverty, even to enmity towards him, when he has to give away a sweet piece. Oh, evil flesh, greedy, unclean, godless! (Strong erection and nocturnal emission on April 4.) To despise the flesh in every way in its whims. I thank You, Lord, for Your strength, for Your mercy, as through my prayer you save me from my sins and passions and pacify me. Behold, this morning you have already had mercy on me several times and, having fallen, you have raised me up. I thank You, Most Pure Lady, Quick to Hear, because with faith, hope and reverence I called to You for help, You soon had mercy. I thank You, the ever-living Mother of the living God, present and present everywhere, seeing, listening, saving. April 4, 1867. When I fall from God and am immersed in the unity of the world, in concern for worldly goods, then woe comes to me from the ethereal enemy, rushing at me with rage. Seek the Lord continually, and you will not be deprived of any good. God! Let my heart cleave to You alone and not cleave to anything earthly, for in cleaving to the earthly there is sorrow, oppression, torment; Let nothing earthly be dear to the heart, but let the one and only Lord value above all everything heavenly and the immortal, rational, verbal, 27 free soul created in His image, the breath of the lips of God. Let there be no earthly idols for the heart: money, dishes, wines, sweet tea, sweet jams, fruits, expensive clothes, ranks and insignia, etc. We must eat the simplest, most indispensable food, so as not to attract the heart, eat a little, only for reinforcement. God! I thank You for graciously accepting me every time I turn to You sincerely and with living faith. Glory to Your endless mercy, which gladdens me, a great sinner, and gives me hope in the future. April 4. The devil pursues us now with fornication, now with greed for food and drink, now with anger towards our neighbor, now with envy, now with covetousness, now with wickedness, now with malice, now with indifference and coldness towards our suffering neighbor, etc. And through the prayer of repentance, the Lord God saves us from all this, from all these impurities, the depths of mercy, for the sake of His Only Begotten Son, our Lord Jesus Christ. Oh, what riches of mercy the Lord Jesus Christ has earned us through His suffering and death! Glory to Your compassion and long-suffering. Glory to Your purifications. Glory to Your salvation! April 4. Sinners! Turn to God with repentance and receive all the forgiveness of sins from the inexhaustible treasury of God's mercy and the merits of Jesus Christ, the Son of God! God sends to us guests, beggars, strangers, or visits sick family members and others, for example, our acquaintances and relatives, among other things, to tempt our love for our neighbor: do we sincerely love them, do we wish them all the best, as we wish for ourselves, are we not voluptuous, are we not greedy, are we not stingy, are we not proud, are we not evil, are we not crafty, are we not cold and indifferent to our neighbors, especially in his plight. Everything must be considered the work of an all-wise and all-good Providence. Have one incorruptible treasure - Christ God - in your heart and may you be wholly clinging to Him always; But all things, although they are expensive, and beautiful, and sweet or shiny, truly consider them as rubbish, and if your neighbor takes, or takes away, or steals them, do not be angry with him, do not torture, do not sue him, but, like a wise person in Christ, preserving his soul and pitying him more than things, voluntarily give it to him or instruct him, enlighten him, turn me away from the path of destruction and guide me on the path of truth. If you have a sick person in your house, and he has been sick for a long time, and requires a lot of care for himself, and a lot of your (God’s) property is spent on him, do not be upset, do not complain about him, do not grow cold towards him, but with love and zeal serve him as Christ until he recovers or until his death; do not bore them - and this good disposition and complacent patience will bring you cleansing of sins. Both illness and health come from the Lord. If you yourself are sick, they will serve you with zeal. Meanwhile, due to our sinful corruption, we, that is, some of us, are cold towards the sick (especially if they did not or do not provide us with material benefits or are not close to us), they grumble and are annoyed with them, as if they were sick of their own free will and it was up to them to recover. Those who are healthy, well-fed and happy are especially cold towards the sick. To prevent this from happening to us, we must remember that the sick person is a member of Christ and, as it were, Christ Himself, according to Scripture: I was sick, and you visited Me (Matthew 25:36), that the sick person and we are the body of Christ, and members of each other, but if one member suffers, everyone will have compassion for it. God! My planting, my penetration - plant yourself in me, plant yourself in me forever! When you light a fire in a lamp, think whether there is a fire of faith and love for God and neighbor in your heart: if not, be zealous to kindle this spiritual fire in yourself, without which that fire means nothing. Remember also that our God is a consuming Fire (cf. Deut. 5:26; Ps. 49:3] and that eternal fire is prepared from Him for unrepentant sinners. When you pour wooden oil into a lamp, ask yourself if you have the oil of mercy towards your neighbors, that is, do you, according to your strength, give alms to the poor, are you lenient towards your family, do you forgive offenses. If you are hard-hearted, stingy, angry, your oil in the lamp is an abomination to the Lord. You put a candle in front of an icon, think about whether your soul burns like a candle before the Lord, has it gone out, has the light in it dimmed, has the fire gone out? In the morning or evening, before you begin to perform morning or evening prayer, in order to arouse sincere prayer in yourself, imagine in reality that you are entirely in the mercies of God, that your soul is God’s, for it is His image and likeness, and the body is the work of God’s hands with all its wise structure; that the air that you now and always constantly breathe is God’s, the light with which you shine from the sun or from fire is God’s; the food and drink that you eat and enjoy are from God, the clothing that you put on and adorn yourself is from God; good parents, children, relatives, educators, benefactors, the king, under whose power you live and prosper, leaders, spiritual fathers, instructing you on the path of truth and goodness, mentors, who taught and are teaching you various sciences - from God; all your intelligence, all your skill in business, your strength, your health, desire for the affairs of your calling, success in business - from God; the cleansing of your sins and your salvation comes from Him; Divine services, the very morning and evening prayers that you read, were inspired by Him; peace, lightness, freedom, joy of the heart from Him - in a word, all His gifts, His boundless goodness. Having remembered and imagined all this, you will pray sincerely, fruitfully, sweetly. This is truly the saturation of the soul to be righteous and blameless before You, Lord! Oh, how peaceful, joyful, easy, sweet it is for the soul when it is right before You, when the conscience does not reproach us for anything, the heart does not despise us, when You take away our sins by Your great mercy. Rejoice, ye righteous, in the Lord: praise is due to the upright [Ps. 32, 1]. God! Take away my greed for earthly sweets, which corrupt souls and bodies from immoderate consumption, cloud the mind and heart, confuse the soul, nail it to the ground, petrify the heart, leading it away from true love. I thank You, most merciful Lord, for You have again had mercy on me through my prayer. (I drank an extra glass of tea, felt heaviness and asked the Lord to forgive me the sin of greed and excess, the sin of addiction to food and drink; I prayed that I cleave to Him alone, His thirst alone.) Why does a stingy person become greedy and stingy, sparing his neighbor his sweets, money, clothes and other things? To eat and drink to the point of satiety, to live in enmity with one’s neighbor, not in God, but in the enjoyment of food, drink, and wealth in general, to dress luxuriously, to live luxuriously in general, to buy expensive furniture, expensive dinnerware, etc., to live in enmity with one’s neighbor, to despise one’s brother, one’s fellow member and member of Christ, created in the image and likeness of God. Oh, how hateful and insatiable is greed! Will those who are subject to it and are not aware of it, who have not repented of it, go into the stomach? - No. For they have clung to the earth, and those above do not philosophize, especially those who know the Scripture and do the opposite. For the Kingdom of God is not food and drink, but what? - truth, righteousness, holiness, fulfillment of the commandments of God, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit [Rom. 14, 17].What does the name Lord mean? - The perfect owner and ruler of all creation, and we know that all creation listens to His commands, His will: Angels and people with a 28 heart of understanding, heaven, earth and everything that is on them, hell and everything that is in it. He commands the Angels - and they quickly march to fulfill His will (Archangels Michael, Gabriel, Selaphiel, Uriel and others), He commands them to be the guardians of all reborn people - and they guard their entire lives and do not violate His commands in anything; commands the sky - and it either gives [...] rain and dew, or withholds them; He commands the winds and water - and they obey Him; commands the fire - and it obeys Him; commands the sun - and it eclipses or [shines] the entire sunflower, warming and illuminating it; commands the earth - and it vegetates various kinds of plants, forbids it to grow - and ceases; commands the waters to pour uncontrollably onto the earth - and they pour like a global flood; He commands the winds - and they blow, rage and are destructive for our sins; commands the sea whale to devour the prophet Jonah, and he is ready to fish; commands the fish to fill the net of His disciples - and it runs and runs, obedient to the command of the Creator; commands the dead man to rise, to come to life - and death flees from the person, and life appears; commands the disease to leave the patient - and the disease runs away, and the patient gets up cheerful and healthy; commands the demons - and they obey unquestioningly. Great is the name of the Lord, praiseworthy is the name of the Lord! Glorified is the name of the Lord! The name Lord also means that He can transform His creatures, for example, water into blood, water into wine, a staff into a living serpent, or again a staff into a living plant, a man into a pillar, like Lot’s wife, a snake into gold and again gold into a snake, as the Lord created through the prayer of His saint Saint Spyridon of Trimifunt; but especially the power, the power of the Lord is manifested in the fact that He transforms a sinner into a holy and chosen vessel, raises one who has fallen through a terrible fall, resurrects and renews a corrupted one, revives a dead person in soul and body, and brings one who has fallen into eternal death into eternal life. This is a miracle of miracles, this reveals the infinite goodness, wisdom and omnipotence of the Lord of creation; or else that He Himself, being the Lord of creation, beginningless, incontainable, deigned and was able to become our man for the sake of salvation, and the Word, in Whom all flesh was made, came into being and dwelt in us [John. 1, 14], lived with a man, and in everything he was like a man, except for sin. Heaven and earth were horrified at this and were completely surprised, for God, having appeared as a man, carnally 29 spoke with us, did good to us, performed countless miracles, suffered (oh, a miracle!), died (oh, a terrible miracle!) and rose again, and raised us, who died in Adam, with Himself! I glorify Your all-good, holy, all-powerful, all-wise power, Lord! Show me, O Lord, Thy wondrous power and, in the image of destinies, save me, Thy unworthy servant, despising my voluntary and involuntary sins, known and unknown, always instructing me on Thy path and strengthening me on this path with Thy grace, through me and others, for whom You have made me a lamp - a shepherd, and a teacher, and clergyman. When you see the royal brilliant retinue or hear about it, remember the most brilliant retinue of the Lord and King of glory Jesus Christ, when He comes to judge the whole world in the glory of His Father and the holy Angels, [ready] with a pure and virtuous life to meet the purest and most holy Lord and Master and Judge. When you partake of immortal food and drink - the Body and Blood of the Lord, ascend with a grateful heart to the Lord and say: I thank You, Lord, the bread of life and the source of immortality, who has given us Your Body and Blood for food and drink, so that, purified and sanctified here, we will enter into Your eternal Kingdom and enjoy Your sight forever and ever. Your blessed life; Do not allow, Lord, that I only care about perishable bread and drink; do not allow, that I may become addicted to them, but may I cleave to You alone. When you taste perishable sweets, thank the Lord, saying: I thank You, eternal sweetness, incomparable, innumerably surpassing all earthly, carnal and rough sweets - incorruptible, life-giving, holy, quiet, light, worldly, most joyful, inexhaustible sweetness, I thank You, for you have given me these perishable sweets too. taste and pleasure, but at least in part I know how sweet You are, that You are all sweetness, all desire. Shining with the material light, say: glory to You, the unstoppable light, sweet and all-joyful, as with this corruptible, but beautiful light - the image of Your unapproachable Divine light - you illuminate us, and from this material light we constantly flow in thought to You, the eternal, unstoppable light, and let us strive through the purity of life to achieve Your all-blessed contemplation. Breathing air through our lungs, this life-giving and cooling element, which is incessantly necessary for us to maintain mortal life, let us again ascend in thought to the life-giving Lord, the Holy Spirit with the Father and the Son, by whom we live, move and exist, thanking Him for the incessant breathing - and know that just as a body without air, so a soul without the Holy Spirit cannot live a true life for even a minute, and pure, abstinent Through your life, try to constantly be in communion with God, for without Him the soul dies. Thus, from every creature, ascend unceasingly to the Creator, thanking Him for everything, and do not cleave to any creature, do not serve any creature more than the Creator, for the service or slavery of a creature, addiction to earthly things is idolatry. Let them eat and drink in peace, whom the Lord sends to me, and may their souls bless me and not curse me, may I be generous and may I not be stingy. If you do not have sincere, constant love for your brother, for your neighbor, especially for those living with you, then you do not have the right to call God your Father and say: Our Father who art in heaven, for these words must come from a heart that loves God and its brother. Therefore, let nothing serve as a pretext for us to enmity, but to love. Out of desire for health, the patient strictly follows the doctor’s instructions. How strictly must a sinner fulfill the commandments of the Savior, the Doctor of men, if he wants to get rid of eternal death, from eternal torment? Addiction and greed for sweets is real fornication, originating from the same devil. Therefore, we must immediately leave this addiction and this greed and be indifferent to them and not be hostile to those who consume them, for this is the feces of the devil, through jealousy about the sweets consumed by our neighbors, arousing hatred towards him in the heart. Remember the necessity of love for a Christian and its high dignity. Oh, self-love! Why not waste, not give freely to others what came to me freely, by the grace of God alone! However, we cling to the gift as to our property, as if our neighbor, to whom we need to give it, is less of our property. Who is our property? - God, the treasure of our heart, and our neighbor, our member. If God is in my heart and I try to live righteously, according to His commandments, then, undoubtedly, all material good will be added to me. Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you [Matt. 6, 33]. So, keep God constantly in your heart and keep His commandments, my soul! April 6, 1867 I thank You, Lord, for You quickly saved me from the incorporeal enemy, who bound me with the passion of greed. I made an effort, and You drove him away, and there was no place left for him. Glory to Your all-powerful and all-good power, Lord! How will I appease the Lord to myself, like the saints? I have not acquired any abstinence, nor purity and chastity, nor meekness and kindness, nor sincere friendship, friendliness and goodwill towards everyone, nor patience, nor true obedience, nor selflessness and unselfishness, nor true mercy, no true virtue, while the holy men of God succeeded in all the virtues, sacrificed themselves to the Lord, to the stench fragrance, and therefore many of them themselves smell fragrant in their incorruptible remains. Who am I before the holy people of God, especially before the Most Holy, Most Pure Mother of God? – The feces are sinful, smelly. What will I bring as a gift to the Lord? How can I win Him to my mercy? One thing remains for me - constant repentance. Perhaps the Lord will look at my heartfelt contrition for my sins, at my tears and have mercy on me, for God will not despise a contrite and humble heart [Ps. 50, 19]. But grant me, Lord, to recognize the multitude of my sins, to penetrate into the very depths of my soul and, in tears of repentance, to vomit out all the abominations of sin. You adorn the marked church of my soul, Lord! The devil seduced our first parents into violating the commandments of God and subjected them to sin, curse and death by, among other things, saying to them: You will be like gods [Gen. 3, 5], that is, he instilled in them the proud thought of becoming equal to the Creator. But the Lord - oh, the abyss of wisdom and omnipotence and goodness of God! - he turned the slander and intrigue of the enemy on his head: what the proud Satan could not even think about, the Lord did: He truly made man a god - Az said: you are gods by nature, and you are all sons of the Most High [Ps. 81, 6 ]; You are My friends if you do what I command you [Jn. 15, 14 ]; He who eats My Flesh and drinks My Blood abides in Me, and I in him [Jn. 6, 56], - created us heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ [Rom. 8:17], if we are faithful to God to death and walk in His commandments with the help of His grace. Thus, the devil is defeated at the head by the incarnate, suffering and dead God, and man, drawn into destruction by the murderer, is deified. Glory to Your mercy, glory to Your power, O Lord! Most honorable Cherub Lady, save us from the gaping mouth of the hellish dragon, gaping to devour the property of Your Son! Most Pure One, we are adored by Her, save us! The Lord Jesus Christ, in whom I believed and believe, is the resurrection and life - why should I be afraid of death? Death is a dream. Yes, I am afraid of one thing - sin. What you love very much, what you strongly pursue, that is, sweets, you must completely despise, hate, consider them dirt and not feel sorry for them to anyone. Wake up! Lord help me! When an enemy attacks you with ill will and gloating towards your neighbor and plunges you into this evil, do not be discouraged, do not give in, but immediately say within yourself: I wish well to my neighbor as to myself, even if he were my enemy or ate and drank mine against my desire, and I rejoice in all his well-being as if it were my own, but I grieve and will grieve over any ill-being as if it were my own. You don’t need to remain silent in your soul, but you need to speak internally when the enemy rushes towards sin and whispers internally. Thank You, Lord, that You saved me several times when I cried out to You. Oh, how You encourage my indecency to always pray to You and not lose heart. You are my fence, You are my pillar from the face of the enemy, Lord! Look: when you lose peace because of something, you lose the Author of peace - the Lord; and we deprive ourselves of peace more because of addiction to worldly things - therefore it is necessary to leave this addiction, so that the Lord will be with us. Wonderful thing! I myself do not feel sorry for the expensive and pleasant sweetness and I drink or scoop it up without mercy and do not regret that it soon disappears, but if my neighbors consume my sweets (God’s, not mine, however) and they soon disappear in the vessel, it is a very pity and annoyance. Oh, blind, rude pride! Aren't all gifts from God? Isn't it for a person? Where is the love for your neighbor as for yourself? Where is the humility? For out of pride we consider everything ours. How long do we dream of following the ghosts of the carnal heart? How long shall we not live by the spirit and commit carnal lusts? How long will flesh and blood be added to us Christians, who must walk in the spirit? If they took your shirt, or outer clothing, or the last piece of bread, and then you, as a Christian and priest, should not grieve and be faint-hearted, but they take sweets from you - something that you do not need, that is harmful to you, especially for your spiritual well-being, and you are faint-hearted and grieve! See how you cherish your body, instead of killing and enslaving it. Sin! Shame! Sit with joy and watch how your neighbors, family or strangers, enjoy themselves at your table. Achieve it. Don't run away from the table too soon. Why are you afraid of the serpent’s charm, his dreams? So in church sometimes you are in a hurry, confused, deceived by the serpent. But I am a witness, and I testify before Him all, as I speak 30. The priests at the Last Judgment will be witnesses before the Savior about repentant sinners, that they repented or did not repent of certain sins. Those who repent will be forgiven. What need do God have as witnesses, when He Himself knows everything, as it is said: and there was no need for anyone to testify about man, for He Himself knew what was in man [Jn. 2, 25 ]? - God doesn’t need them, but we need them: we will be pleased to see how the priests will testify about us before Angels and people, that we repented of our sins, condemned ourselves, expressed disgust for sin, and accepted a firm intention not to sin. Let us remember the words of the Savior to the apostles: and you will be brought before rulers and kings for My sake, to testify before them and the Gentiles [Matt. 10, 18]. Or: And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached throughout the whole world as a testimony to all nations [Matt. 24, 14]. I thank the Lord, for you have given me the grace of true, mental-heartfelt prayer and tears for my fierce and countless sins. Saturday before the Week of Vai. April 7, 1867 Eleven and a quarter o'clock in the evening. Lazarus resurrection. Truly my face will prosper and my bones will become fat if the Lord be with me. I feel it, I see it, I touch it. The various sweets that we eat are also inexhaustible with the Lord, like bread and other various fruits, and we should not spare them for our neighbor, like daily bread, for for this reason they were created for consumption, incorruptibility, turning into the earth and for a new creation. May my passing illness serve as a lesson for me to remember about my weakness and corruption, especially about the salvation of my immortal soul, so that I do not value this temporary shell, I mean the flesh, but put all my care into educating my soul for the heavenly Fatherland, so that I do not worry about perishable acquisitions, but about imperishable ones, that is, about virtues, for just as they are temporary and perishable, so these are eternal. My life hung by a thread: if the Lord had commanded to cut it off, I would not have been on this earth, and what I had prepared - books, etc. - who would have gotten it? From this illness I must also learn the lesson of love for my family. During my illness, all of them showed great love for me, especially my wife, who served me with complete selflessness and courtesy, as well as my sister-in-law, brothers Alexei and Konstantin. If you must love your enemies, then you must repay love with love. Then I must reward everyone who knows me with love, for everyone took an active part in my illness with their sympathy, many came or sent to check on my health - in a word, everyone declared their love for me, unworthy of this love. Who did this? Lord. So, I thank and glorify my Lord, who builds everything for good, who raised me from my illness and did not allow me to go to hell, who gave me the lesson of repentance and immediate conversion, internal correction and fruitfulness of virtues. Give me, Lord, the grace to deny myself, this devil, which I became by succession from Adam. New Adam, Lord Jesus, transform me, make me a new man, clothe me in Thee. I said in my heart about the holy church: Thy will be done, for it must be done both in addition to the archpriest (who contradicted me) and in addition to my appeals. Why do we become embittered towards the poor, who often ask us for alms? Because of your greedy belly, because of your greedy flesh. But the poor, these members of Christ, must be treated as Jesus Christ Himself and consider that the alms given to them are given to Jesus Christ Himself, and, therefore, one must reverently, willingly and joyfully give all alms, for it is the gift of God. Those who sinned - despised the poor and became embittered at them. Forgive, Lord, cleanse, Lord! Oh, womb! Womb! How much evil you have! God! I thank You for saving me from great sinful troubles, from fierce and grave sins, from great oppression and sorrow, through Your great mercy and through my prayer, You saved me from malice. Glory to the power of Your grace, Lord, it is nothing; no violence of sin can resist the joys that call upon it with faith. So, raped by the enemy of all good - the devil and carried away by passions, I depicted the sign of the cross on myself and said internally: nothing can resist the power of Your grace - and the violence ceased, confusion and oppression passed away, silence and calm took their place. Glory to Your power, Lord! Just as I don’t regret anything for myself, I won’t spare anything for anyone else. Just as I eat and drink as much as I want, let others eat and drink as much as they want. Yes, I have no grudge against anyone, even if someone innocently, without reason, attacked me, insulted me, got angry. For evil, insult from any person is a punishment for himself, his illness, for a person’s sin returns to his bosom 31. We must feel sorry for the offender and pray for him, and also ask ourselves: did I not offend him before, openly or secretly? Am I not to blame for his dislike and hatred towards me? If someone vehemently stands up for himself or for another, do not be offended by him, but apologize to him and calm him down immediately, even if you are not to blame for offending him, for sometimes false jealousy and evil come over a person. If it is possible on your part, be at peace with all people [Rom. 12, 18]. We must feel sorry for our worst enemy, for [the devil] terribly devastates and perverts, destroys his soul, but he does not notice it, and we must, we absolutely must pray for him. Judge for yourself how the enemy, through malice, rapes you and devastates your soul. The same must be said about other passions. We are all in the greatest delusion of mind and heart and will. Man has gone astray from his path [Isa. 53, 6]. We must reject self-love and pride, consider ourselves insignificant, despicable, worthy of scolding, cursing, beatings, trampling on our feet, otherwise we dream a lot about ourselves, being nothing. He who loves his life will destroy it [Jn. 12, 25]. Why? Because to love your life means to live contrary to the commandments of God, namely: to glutton and feast on food, eat a lot, get drunk, be proud, despise others, hate, be irritated, envy, take away someone else’s, be greedy, stingy, commit adultery, live according to your own will and your own inclinations, live in laziness, idleness and absent-mindedness, do not attend divine services, do not participate in the Sacraments or to be a hypocrite in prayer, etc. But he who hates his soul in this world will preserve it to eternal life [John. 12, 25]. Why? Because he who hates his soul lives according to the commandments of God, denies himself, does not spare himself for God and for his neighbors, he fasts, stays awake, prays, behaves meekly, humbly, kindly, is good to everyone, serves, is wise on heaven, does not attach his heart to earthly things, does not covet, does not love money, does not swear falsely, sacredly honors Sundays and holidays, does not offend, does not commit fornication, does not steal, does not slander, works honestly, shows all obedience to authority, etc. The cross is, as it were, the shadow of the Lord crucified for us, that is why it has such power, just like the sign of the cross, that is why it gives life. That is why even in the Old Testament he had great power: the tree on which the serpent was lifted up healed those bitten by snakes; the cross drawn by the rod of Moses divided the waters; the hands raised by Moses in prayer and depicting the cross defeated Amalek, etc. To sin: shut up, you viper who lives in me. If you see that someone is angry with you for no reason or you yourself are angry, look at him and yourself as if you are going berserk, and take pity on him from the bottom of your heart, and pray for him, and judge yourself for the fact that with reason you have reached the state of madness, to the state of a wild beast, and immediately sober up from your anger and offer up a warm prayer to God, may He forgive you your sin, may He enlighten you, and may He strengthen you to live in the everlasting goodness of heart, to be patient with everyone, to love everyone, to be forgiving to everyone. The dignity of the priesthood must be maintained everywhere - both in the church and at home, especially before the powerful and rich of the world, not to servile them, not to please them beyond measure, not to be cowardly before them, but to remember that they are the same and worst sinners as ordinary people, that they are the same earth and ashes, that they are as fleeting as all people. One is eternal - the great and terrible God, the soul and its virtues are eternal - humility, kindness, mercy, purity, etc. Lord, nailed to the cross! turn me away from the earth, nailed to it, to earthly things. Break the bonds that bind me to the earth. The Lord became incarnate and became human, becoming one with us. The Lord was nailed to the cross and, so to speak, united with it for the time of suffering, dying, nailed to it. That is why the power of the cross and the sign of the cross is great! The cross in Christ and Christ in the cross. Give, and it will be given to you [Lk. 6, 38]: I gave my prosphora, and they soon brought me another. Why did I get sick? The devil prevailed: he entered into me through my satiety and created illness in me by God’s permission. Come to Him (the Lord), and you will be enlightened, and your faces will not be ashamed [Ps. 33, 6]. Truly so. When we retreat from Him, commit lawlessness, then our faces are in shame, in dishonor, and when we approach Him with a sincere heart, repenting with all our souls of our sins and asking for mercy, then we are enlightened with our souls and our faces, which were previously darkened and disfigured by sins, and shame is removed from our faces like chaff 32, we look boldly, openly, cheerfully, calmly in the face everyone. This is the benefit of being right with God, of walking in uprightness of heart. Both white and black bread are equally from the earth and the earth, and equally grown by the Lord, and equally before man, to whose feet the whole earth is subjugated, are insignificant, and the owner of the house does not need to spare white, like black bread, at the table. And the owner himself probably extends his hand with pleasure to sweets that are the property of others, not his, but let him watch willingly when they eat everything good and expensive from him with pleasure. The man is worth it. Glory to Your many compassions, O Lord: You repay tenfold into the bosom of those who give. So God's servant Ekaterina Petrovna brought me three silver rubles: I did not consider myself worthy to take them for myself and sent them to Your servant Varvara, the old woman. But instead of that, another of Your servants brought me three rubles again, then from different places the gifts of Your goodness flowed to me and to Your poor. Glory to Your bounty, Lord! Glory to You, Generous One, for you have cleansed my many and great sins, taken away them, transformed confusion into peace, cowardice into boldness, darkness into light, cramped space into space, sorrow into joy. Glory to Thee, God of miracles and Lord of mercy! God! Through Moses and Aaron You performed great miracles in Egypt and through Moses in the wilderness. You transformed many things into animals, different into different: a rod into a serpent, dust into midges, etc. For what? May you show us that You can transform every person, no matter what sins he may be subject to, a sinner into a righteous and holy person, cleanse, renew, so that no one despairs of his salvation. May I not despair, the abyss of all kinds of evils, but may I hope in You, the Creator of all, who does great and wondrous things in heaven and on earth, in You, who became incarnate for the sake of the salvation of God the Word, who suffered, died and rose again. Oh, incomprehensible power, Lord, I see in myself the miracles of Your goodness and omnipotence day after day. When you feel the violence of passions in yourself, realize that this is done by an incorporeal villain, and say: away from the name of my Lord Jesus Christ, persecutor, tormentor, rapist - and if you say it with faith and firmness, he will run away from you. So drive away the spirit of voluptuousness, fornication, love of money, blasphemy, dumbness (during prayer), relaxation, laziness, hatred and ill-will, pride, envy and ill will, gloating, rancor, waywardness and stubbornness, coldness towards God and neighbor, rudeness, irritability, violence, inappropriate laughter, guile, hypocrisy, lies and charms, fear of the inappropriate, absent-mindedness, vanity. Great is the name of the Lord, and the intrigues and insurances of demons are like a cloud driven away by the wind, like the morning dew that disappears from the sun, like smoke that blows away. When I contributed part of the guilt of my satiety on Holy Tuesday to my wife, who slipped me milk semolina porridge after dinner (I had already prayed and a quarter of an hour had passed after dinner), which she gave me and I ate, then He said: where is your barometer? And with this answer he shamed me. Serves it right. I have my own mind, my own will, and I had to judge that after lunch, after satisfying my hunger and satiation, I should not eat any more, because eating any more would be reckless and a burden to myself; I should have said flatly that I didn’t want semolina porridge and don’t put it in front of me, and not be tempted by a sweet dish, especially a savory one. So, I myself have gravely sinned before God by falling into the sin of voluptuousness and gluttony, and moreover, during Holy Week, when the Church commands the strictest fast, when pious Christians eat bread and water once a day, while others do not eat at all for two or three days. You say: I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, I love Him with all my heart. Is this true? - Let's see. Here in your house, in your apartment there is a sick relative, or a relative, or an acquaintance, or a stranger, or there is a sick person in the next house or further away, also an acquaintance, or a colleague, or a relative. How do you feel about them? How do you treat someone who is sick at home, especially someone who has been sick for a long time? Here, they say, you treat him disrespectfully, carelessly, coldly, often with annoyance, you even wait for his death, you secretly rejoice at the intensification of his illness, because the patient is your parasite or has been unpleasant to you in some way. Where is your love for Christ? Or do you know that the sick person is a member of Christ, that he must be served as Christ, with that constant respect, willingly, diligently, heartily, forgetting himself, his interests, his body, as he would wish for himself from others? Don't you know that Jesus Christ commanded us to love our neighbor? how do we behave, and how do we want people to act with us, so we should act with them? Or do you think that if Christ Himself suffered in your home, then you would serve Him with great reverence, with great love, desire, and zeal? - No. If you are unkind, contemptuous, crafty, cold with your neighbors, then you would not be better with Jesus Christ Himself, Who became our Son of Man for the sake of salvation, similar to us in everything except sin. Or the beggars ask you for alms, and you refuse them with contempt. Where is your faith in Christ? Or you don’t want to communicate with people who come to you as guests, and you get annoyed with them, run around them, don’t love them, despise them for coming to drink tea and eat bread and salt. Where is faith, love? No, if you are unfaithful in little things, you will be unfaithful in many things. Therefore, if you want to show your love to the God-Man, who has become the head of the Church, which is His Body [Eph. 1, 22 – 23 ], then show it, show it to His members, treat them as the Savior Himself. This is what the Lord Jesus Christ Himself wants. Because, he says, you have created only these lesser brethren, you have created for Me [Matt. 25, 40]. What have you done? “I was hungry,” he says, “I am in the presence of a hungry man, and you gave me food; I thirsted in the face of My thirsty member - the Christian, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger in the person of a human stranger, and you brought Me in; I was naked in the face of a poor man, and you clothed Me; I was sick in the person of a sick person, and you visited Me, etc. Whatever you do for men, says the Apostle Paul, do from the heart, as for the Lord, and not for men, knowing that as a reward from the Lord you will receive an inheritance, for you serve the Lord Christ. Ear. 3, 23 – 24. Saul, Saul! Why are you persecuting Me? [Acts. 9:4], the Lord cried from heaven to Saul. And Saul persecuted Christians, which means that persecuting a Christian unrighteously is the same as persecuting Jesus Christ. The high priests, elders, scribes and Pharisees clearly proved their dislike for God by the fact that they did not sincerely love a single person and lived hypocritically, and especially by condemning the greatest Righteous One to an ignominious death. Judas also did not have love for God and proved this by betraying Jesus Christ for money. So, if you love Christ, love His members. And in order to love His members, one must put self-love within proper boundaries and sacrifice self-love for the love of others; You should not be a voluptuous glutton, greedy for sweets and food and drink in general. The belly, or gluttony, is the greatest enemy of love not only for one’s neighbor, but also for God Himself, for for a glutton it means nothing to break the commandment of God for the sake of pleasing his belly: for the belly he is ready to hate a person if he prevents him from satisfying his belly or uses him in his house not rightfully and not to the extent that he would assign; for him, he envies, steals, covets, loves money, deceives, deceives, sells the purity of soul and body, gloats, offends, takes away, kills, bears false witness; violates the sanctity of Sundays and holidays, neglects his soul, its salvation, rebirth, renewal through the cleansing of sins and sanctification by prayer and the Sacraments; for the sake of the belly he breaks fasts, to please him he is ready to do everything bad - therefore he must cast aside self-love and pride, for a person possessing them is ready to turn all the best in the world into his own benefit and property and does not consider others to have the same right as he does to use the gifts of God. As if you alone were settled on earth - God says through the prophet to such people [Isa. 5, 8]. We must try to be sociable, hospitable, selfless; one must rejoice at meeting in one’s home or in another place a familiar or related person, be ready from the heart to share one’s goods with one’s neighbors and willingly, as one would for oneself, serve them in their needs. God! I thank You for Your morning salvation, as You saved me, who cried out to You internally for salvation from the secret falls of anger and love of money, and You granted Your peace with freedom and ease. Every wilderness and valley will be fulfilled, and every mountain and hill will be humbled: and the stubborn will be made right, and the sharp edges of the path will be smooth: and all flesh will see the salvation of God [Russian: let every valley be filled, and every mountain and hill will be made low, the crooked paths will be straightened, and the rough paths will be made smooth; and all flesh will see the salvation of God] [Lk. 3.5 – 6 ]. The wilds and the valley are humble hearts, the mountain and the hill will humble themselves, that is, proud people who dream highly of themselves and despise the low and humble. That's how it happens. The Lord constantly acts in the spirit of truth and goodness in human hearts, humbling the proud by various everyday circumstances - illnesses, losses, humiliation from people, and exalting the humble. Do not diminish a word [Jer. 26:2] in the service of God: pronounce every word heartily, with strength, with faith, with boldness. All passions begin from the belly - therefore it is imperative to curb the belly through abstinence, fasting, prayer, and vigil. From a saturated belly flows pride, hatred, envy, coldness towards God and neighbor (for the sated one is ungrateful and hard-hearted), and negligence about salvation, and about spiritual things in general; the womb is the fault of godlessness, deception, false witness, carnal fornication, covetousness or thirst for money, wealth, houses, the fault of countless insults, the fault of coarseness of heart, words and deeds of disrespect, self-will and disobedience. The devil deceived man in the beginning with food from the tree, or belly; He began his dominion from the womb, through his womb he rules over the race of Adam to this day, and will deceive them especially through his womb until his final fall and casting into the abyss. That is why the Orthodox Church has instituted many fasts and strictly commands them to be fulfilled in order to place their children above the evil intentions of the enemy of their salvation, in order to sober up their thoughts and hearts, to enlighten the mental eyes of the heart, in order to strengthen their souls with the grace of the Holy Spirit. It is good to strengthen hearts with grace, and not with foods from which those who engage in them do not benefit [Heb. 13, 9]. We must not forget that the lawless cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were completely corrupted from satiety, or from the satiety of bread and abundance of wine, as the prophet testifies; Noah's contemporaries did the same; that all the great, holy men pleased God and drew closer to Him, became His friends through fasting, for example the prophets Moses, Elijah, Ananias, Azariah, Misail, Daniel, of course, in combination with other virtues. The Forerunner of Christ John, the apostles, martyrs, saints, all the saints. Imagine at what kind of judgment you will one day appear - at one at which all nations, the entire human race will appear, at which all the Angelic powers will appear, all the saints who have pleased God from the ages, at which the Judge will not be a man, not an Angel, not a Cherub, not a Seraphim, for even then the judgment would be terrible, but God Himself is omniscient, great, Whose greatness there is no measure, for it surpasses all measure, - all-holy, all-righteous, all-powerful. Oh, what a terrible judgment! But we do not prepare, we are not afraid, we are careless, we sleep in our sins. Behold, the Bridegroom of our souls comes at midnight, and blessed is the servant, he will be found vigilant, but unworthy again, he will be found despondent - bound by worldly cares, vanities; Take care, my soul, not to be burdened with sleep, lest you be given over to death, and be shut out of the Kingdom 33. Most merciful Lord, have mercy on me, as I walked on this day, the day of Your death on the cross for us, to ask for a monetary debt from my brother, for on this day You took upon Yourself the debts of the whole world and my countless debts and paid for them at such a terrible price to Your Heavenly Father. Do I dare to torture the material debt of my brother, who, perhaps, is poor, because wealthy people do not borrow, while I have everything I need, receiving a good salary, having a government apartment! Most merciful, You have now resolved my curse, forgiven me all my debts: may I not torture on this day any debts of my neighbor, neither material nor spiritual (never spiritual). My debtor rents an apartment, and he needs food and clothing, but the salary is small. Shall I not condescend to him? If he is truly poor, I will reduce his debt, for this is in my power. The sign of the prophet Jonah is given to this evil generation, that is, the hellish beast Satan would have swallowed everyone if Jesus Christ had not suffered and died for the human race by ascending to the tree. He will swallow all the crafty, proud, evil, envious, money-lovers, gluttons, fornicators, hypocrites, if they do not repent. If you do not repent, you will all perish in the same way [Lk. 13, 3]. We are building a pillar (the salvation of the soul): we must create it, bring it to the end. We are a tree: we must create fruit - this creativity is given to us, we must produce fruit: there are those who do not produce fruit. To light a candle, you need to bring it to the fire; in order to touch a cold soul, you need to bring it closer to God. Lie on the grass [Matt. 14, 19] – Christ’s sheep in Christ’s pasture. (Five loaves and two fish.) He brought them up to a high mountain alone [Matt. 17, 1]. We must ascend from the earth and be above all earthly things, such as food, drink, clothing, money, human glory, temporary differences - and not cling to them. The Heavenly Father commanded those born on earth to listen to His Son: This is My Beloved Son, listen to Him [Lk. 9, 35], and the Son commanded to listen to the apostles and the Church. He who listens to you listens to Me [Lk. 10, 16]. If he does not listen to the church, then let him be to you as a pagan and a tax collector [Matt. 18, 17]. I thank You, Lord, for even on this day (Holy Saturday), when the enemy especially strengthens to embitter, darken, oppress me, and tear faith in You out of my heart, You have had mercy on me, unworthy, and, having cried out to You from the depths of my soul, You have saved me. Save me, Lord, completely from his wiles on Easter evening, on Easter night and morning, and even more significantly during Matins and the early liturgy on the first day of Easter, for at this time hell especially intensifies to darken, embitter, oppress and eat us, Your servants. Keep me safe throughout Bright Week, O Lord! Just as quickly the enjoyment of food and drink of those sitting at a meal, for example at dinner, passes, so quickly the present life with all its pleasures, joys, sorrows, and illnesses passes and will pass. She is like morning dew, disappearing from the sun. Therefore, a Christian, called to the Heavenly Fatherland, a wanderer and an earthly stranger, should not attach his heart to anything earthly, but cleave to the one God, the Source of life, our resurrection and endless life. Look at the end of all earthly things and our very body - decay and transience. Real life is one minute compared to eternity, or like one minute and trillions of trillions of years, so is real life and eternity. Let's take this into account and let us always unflinchingly and relentlessly prepare for eternity. Liturgy is a heavenly service performed on earth. I thank You, Lord my God, for You were gloriously glorified in me on the bright night of Your Resurrection, plunging the mental Pharaoh and all his army into the sea, and cleansing me, sanctifying me, pacifying me and giving me great boldness, freedom, and strength. By Your ineffable mercy, I celebrated the early Liturgy safely and loudly, together with Matins, loudly, strongly, calmly, boldly. Oh, how quickly You hear us, Lord, when we call on You in need and situation, and how quickly, with what uplifted arm You save us in Your glorious power! I thank and glorify You, O Lord my God! First day of Easter. 7 o'clock in the morning, after rest. The royal house spoke everyone’s names perfectly. God! I thank You, for through my illness you have renewed and strengthened me. (I was sick for six weeks, throughout Lent, and did not go to school or church.) Lord! Give me the grace of love and peace, which is worth nothing more in the world. April 17, 1867 Second day of Easter. Morning. God! I thank You for Your salvation yesterday from my passions, I thank You for the gift of prayer this morning, for the cleansing of my sins and for the pacification of my heart. I thank You, All-Pure Lady, Your unclean and vile servant, for Your salvation, for I heard my heart praying to You in truth and, having cleansed me with the abundance of the grace that is in You, You pacified my vile heart, which always exudes the passions of indignation. April 18, 1867 Blasphemy against sacred things and greed for sweets, pity for one’s neighbor, malice, envy, covetousness are ancient charms. One must be indifferent to everything earthly and ardent towards God and neighbor. My brothers, my sister Anna, take care of me in all respects, and I must take care of them. Hospitality, courtesy, cordiality, simplicity with family and guests during a home meal - this is the indestructible, priceless treasure of a person, and not tasty and valuable food and drink, and self-satiation, greed for them and pity for them constitute a person’s acquisition: these last qualities are deadly both for the soul and for the body - they separate from God and from their neighbor. Why is the heart divided between God and the world? Why does he want to combine love for God with love for the world and vice versa? No one can serve two masters: for... he will hate the one and love the other [Matt. 6, 24]. “Hear, gluttons, greedy for food and drink, lovers of money, greedy for money, ambitious, greedy for awards and distinctions in the service, lovers of dress, greedy for clothes!” A glutton, greedy for sweet foods and drinks, is a slave of the stomach, but an enemy of God and man. Guests, acquaintances, relatives come to him, and he thinks: they have come to eat and drink with me, and he treats them coldly, sometimes with hatred; his heart is not with people, but with food and drink. It is a pity for him for others that he himself happily consumes, like a fierce beast, greedy, predatory, insatiable. Like a beast, like a robber, he brings prey to himself and one wants to devour it. Disgusting! Real life is doubly despicable: 1) because of its corruption and transience, 2) because of its inevitable sinfulness and the resulting confusion, blindness, slavery, lack of freedom, because of cramped conditions, sorrows, illnesses and death. To have no attachment to earthly things means to consider nothing as your own, to spare nothing for another if someone needs anything, and to consider the Lord God and virtue as your property. If we regret something for another, it is a sign that we have an addiction to the thing we regret. There are, however, pity that is impartial and holy, when, for example, we regret giving some holy and sacred thing into the hands of an unkind, unpious person, so that, having received it, he would not use it for evil or neglect it. Sheep. I should be a sheep. Brothers and sisters are your governors and governors. We are all members of one body, therefore we will love each other as ourselves, in simplicity of heart. Let this commandment always be in our hearts. It is pleasant for you to be at dinner or tea with others, and you want the hosts to be glad to see you; remember that it is pleasant to have others at dinner or tea with you, and they naturally want you, the host, to be glad to have guests. So, as you want people to do to you, do so to them. This is the law and the prophets [Matt. 7, 12]. The Lord Jesus Christ is every day a sacrifice for my sins! What a great endless sacrifice! What love! What long-suffering! Every day the Lord redeems me from the justice of His Heavenly Father! But if I trample on the treasured blood with an unworthy life, intemperate, filled with passions, what other sacrifice will be found for sins? - None. There will remain a terrible expectation of judgment and the wrath of God and the fury of fire ready to devour the opponents [Heb. 10, 27 ]! Merciful God! Don’t let me get to this point and let me bear fruits worthy of repentance. Grant me to love those who hate and offend me, grant me abstinence and self-sacrifice! I glorify, Lord, Your saving and victorious right hand, which has now repeatedly shown me its strength and goodness in saving me from my sins. Please note, God-loving ascetics of Christian piety, as the enemy of God and ours, the primordial murderer, constantly strives to do to us the opposite of what Christ does to us: Christ brings the mountain, the devil to the earth, Christ cleanses - the devil defiles, Christ sanctifies - the devil plunges into sins. Therefore, we must resist him with firm faith. Constantly look to the one God with the eyes of your heart, cleave to Him alone, trust in Him alone, love Him alone and in Him - people, and despise everything earthly, such as sweets, money, clothes, etc., like rubbish, for indeed everything is and will be rubbish, especially everything is, according to our addiction and false understanding of things, rubbish for the mind and heart: we regret sweets, clothes, money, when there is no need to be sorry; despise also because everything, like a shadow, will pass away - only one eternal soul will remain; therefore, the soul, as an immortal being, must be taken care of in every possible way in order to save it, cleansing it from sins and passions and sanctifying it in the Sacraments. Let it be worn out, wear beautiful clothes rather - the eye and heart will not be so seduced, the heart will not be cramped from an addiction to elegant things. My tools with which I live, feel, and act are spoiled, namely: mind and heart and will; My heart is cursed and my mind is darkened. So, whether you treat your household, remember this; Whether you pray, remember this and be careful. Let there be more sweets for your household and servants than for you, because they do not use or very, very rarely use those supernatural and all-blessed gifts of the Lord, which you use almost constantly, I mean the Holy Mysteries of the Body and Blood of Christ, true prayer, contemplation of God, reading the word of God and other holy books. This is how you should differ from all the laity in that you eat as little as possible, consume as little sweets as possible and in general everything that is dearly valued in the world, and place all your pleasure in God and in thinking about His wonderful deeds; to the world, as to old rags, do not have any attachment. The more the evil one plunges us into various passions after communion of the Holy Mysteries if we show an inclination toward them, for example, if we eat and drink greedily, especially sweets. Therefore, after communion, we must abstain from food and drink and be indifferent to all sweets, to all the pleasures of food and drink, and restrain ourselves from the slightest greed, so that Satan does not tempt us with our greed and intemperance. Do not diminish a word [Jer. 26:2] during worship, for every word of it is God’s property, so that by omitting some words out of negligence or false fear, you do not lose the grace of God, which strengthens you in service and enables you to serve firmly, in truth and power, before the Lord God. The Lord requires simplicity and purity of heart from His servant and does not tolerate the slightest doubt or cowardice or fear. It is decisively necessary to act with all-conquering love, which improves everything, and especially since you are the owner of the house and you have a lot in your hands, and your love, affection, helpfulness, generosity can have a very great influence on your subordinates, strongly favoring you. But without curbing and disdaining the belly, you cannot sincerely love your neighbor, because because of gluttony, for the most part we enmity against our neighbor, and you cannot sincerely humble yourself before your neighbors, because a full belly is the parent of pride. And in order to achieve sincere humility and sincere love, one must deny oneself, stop being selfish, crucify one’s flesh with passions and lusts. By denying ourselves, we will truly gain our soul, because we will achieve eternal life through contempt for the blessings of temporary life: wealth, sweets, rich clothes, health, peace of mind, worldly honors and other things. It is necessary that not our own will, not our passions, not our flesh, not our belly be the law of our activity, but the perfect law of Christ. He who created us is the one who controls us. He who laid down the law will judge us. I thank You, Lord, for You had mercy on me when I cried out to You in prayer of repentance, to forgive me for the sin of sparing sweets to my servants. So, Lord, I am wrong, and my servants deserve the same as I, and more than me, because they work harder than I, and Your gifts belong equally to me and to them, for through me You send them the gifts of Your goodness and Your bounties. So, admonished by You, let me not spare anything for my neighbors, for everything is Yours, and nothing is mine; May I not value anything earthly, but may I cleave to You alone, May I value You above all else. As you are internally towards others, such are others towards you. With whatever judgment you judge, you will be judged [Matt. 7, 2]. This means you have to be generous for your own benefit. The miser, relying on soulless money and food, naturally spares them for others, because by depriving them he considers himself to be deprived of the source of his life. But he is cruelly deceived, because as soon as he pitied them, he now, for his lawless pity, falls into sorrow and distress and until then remains in them until he sincerely repents of the fact that he regretted, and did not willingly and joyfully give. Do not tempt the Lord again with intemperance, overeating and drinking tea; remember what you had to pay for it - you were sick for six weeks and you were close to death. Rumor has already buried you. Why know maybe the last time you recovered? Remember the difficult life of the wanderer Nikitushka, how he labored for the sake of the Lord, for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven, wearing heavy chains, never washing in the bathhouse, allowing many lice to eat himself, not allowing satiety, delicacy, the slightest pride, being subjected to ridicule and beatings for the truth, and imitate his life according to your strength. Compare his life with yours - how different it is! You live in bliss, luxury, satiety, pride, hatred and other sins. Are your talents like those of a bishop? How will you answer the immortal King for all this? Have mercy on me, Lord! Have mercy on Your servant, Archpriest Paul, our father, and through his holy prayers have mercy on me, a sinner! Have mercy on Your servant, my spiritual father and my brother Priest Matthew, and through his holy prayers have mercy on me, a sinner. So I internally cried out to the Lord, somewhat detached from anger at one and the other of the fathers for their real or imaginary evil, and - oh! the wondrous and swift goodness of the Lord! The Lord had mercy on me, and pacified my indignant heart with great peace! So we must always pray for our enemies or for those who offend us, we must pray that the Lord will soften and enlighten their hearts, blinded by malice, pride, envy, and revenge. God! Soften and enlighten my brother’s heart and forgive him his sin: I don’t know what he’s doing, and respond to anger, malice, pride, deceit, envy with meekness and love. And in fact, the same people who slander us, hate us, are unkind to us now, at other times they are kind to us, love us, wish us every good thing, even pray for us, but passions are found on them, as weak people, naturally inclined to evil, and they are carried away by them, not noticing their inner deception from the enemy, their misfortune. It is for them that we must especially pray; this is where we show Christian love, when we see inner overwhelm, the collapse of the spiritual boat, that is, a neighbor subject to passion, show all meekness and not respond to evil with evil. And how the Lord quickly rewards such a prayer of love! He immediately gives the person praying evidence of His favor towards him, blessing his soul with heavenly peace. April 30, 1867. I thank you, Lord, for you have heard my prayer for the stumbling-free service of the liturgy and prayer service before the icon of the Lady of Iveron; I thank You, for You have repeatedly had mercy on me, a sinner, on this day through my prayer. Have mercy now, overwhelmed by passions and oppressed by opposing forces, Thy servant! God! I can't stand demon shooting! There is no protection for the imam, below where the accursed one will resort, we always win 34. You alone are my help and protection. How you want others to receive you, so you receive them at your place. I am the more fierce, the more restless, the more greedy, stingy, proud, envious, the more I eat and drink, especially meat and other delicacies. Oh, my damnation! When will I be moderate in everything? When will I ardently love my neighbor and grow cold towards God’s earthly gifts? Oh, ancient, intensifying loveliness! Some icons represent the Mother of God with the Eternal Child in such a way that this, our God of old 35 and together the Child, completely bowed His Divine face to the face of His Most Pure Mother, His deified. This is an image of His closest, most amiable union with humanity. Thus, He kindly and closely unites with the souls of believers, pious, God-fearing, zealous for good deeds, for he who eats My Flesh, He says, and drinks My Blood, abides in Me, and I in him [Jn. 6, 56]. Oh, the honor of Christians! But how do we value this honor, how do we value it? We cling our hearts to earthly things and push away from Him, we cling to earthly sweets, wealth, honors and because of them we are proud, we become embittered, we envy each other and we lie, we swear falsely, we deceive, we commit adultery - we become satiated with them, we become stingy and we move further, further away from God. God! I thank You for having mercy on me unceasingly. May 1st. Cherish the calm and contented state of mind of your family and do not be angry with them when they talk in this state. Put up with the talkativeness or meekly, jokingly stop it. Do not be angry at the intrusive feeding of the lower members of the guests, but be pleased that they help you in the treat and shame the spirit of stinginess operating in you and sparing sweets to your neighbors, for whom these sweets were created. If it is possible on your part, be at peace with all people [Rom. 12, 18), it is said. I thank Thee, Lord, for Thou hast quickly saved me, who inwardly cried out to Thee: Lord, if Thou wilt, Thou canst cleanse me [Lk. 5, 12], and instead of confusion - peace, instead of crampedness - space, instead of sorrow - joy, instead of darkness - light, instead of cowardice - boldness, instead of relaxation of the heart - you gave me spiritual strength. God! Grant me to sanctify Your name ever in my heart. Hey, amen. What darkness, what madness, what weakness and what terrible, satanic violence - sin! We commit adultery internally, looking at faces, because the faces are beautiful, we hate a person because he is not according to our disposition, not according to our passions, not according to our mood of spirit, which is often not very sinless, passionate, vicious. Is facial beauty the reason for fornication and sin? Is this not the reason for surprise at the Creator, who created man so beautifully? Is the reason for hating our neighbor that he is not according to our disposition or willfulness, does not indulge our pride, passion in general, that he is not according to our mood of spirit? Doesn’t everyone have free will, their own character, their own temperament, their own habits, their own passions, their own habits? Shouldn't everyone be forgiving, shouldn't they respect the personal freedom of every person, a freedom that the Lord Himself never violates? It is unpleasant for a proud person when they demand humility from him before others; envious, when they demand goodwill to enemies; vindictive when they demand forgiveness and reconciliation; to a money lover when they remind him to pay his debts; to a glutton when they tell him about fasting and the salvation of his soul. But they must conquer their feelings and passions within themselves, and joyfully do what is required of them, or what the Gospel requires. Otherwise, indulging unrepentantly and uncorrectedly in their passions, they will perish forever. When we give generous, good-willed alms, then we taste home-made food and drink with amazing sweetness. Thus the Lord blesses both the alms-giver and his food. And when you skimp on giving, then everything is not to your heart’s content, everything is not for the future. I had guests - Kromido Al., Yulia [...], Anna Andr., and my sister-in-law Anyuta was here. Before tea, I began to read the Lord’s Prayer, Our Father, and stumbled over the words: and leave it to us... to the end. So what? Crowding and embarrassment weighed on my soul the entire time I was sitting at the table. O my enemy! How angry and malicious you are! How you catch me in your clutches! But your efforts are in vain: the Lord will save me from all my sins and will not allow you to let his claws into me at all - I know this is true. See in the lives of the saints and in church services how people subservient to us labored and pleased God, and imitate them and be saved. Saints in the Church are like stars in the sky. Have wisdom at the table or remain silent, inwardly reflecting on God, the Creator and Nourisher of creation, or talk about something edifying, but do not rush, do not be greedy when eating and drinking, do not allow your mind and heart to be confused and darkened, so as not to unnoticeably reach the point of excess due to greed. Sacrifice your heart to God, give it entirely to the Almighty, renounce yourself, all sinful movements of malice, hatred, pride, zeal, envy, disobedience and self-will, ill will, malevolence, stinginess, love of money, gluttony, lewd impurity, theft, deception, laziness, etc., and constantly forcing yourself to goodness (when we embittered, insulted), to prayer for enemies, meekness, humility, kindness, sincere goodwill, generosity, non-covetousness, abstinence, chastity, almsgiving, truth and truthfulness, hard work, obedience, etc. It is difficult to overcome passions that have become, as it were, our natural members (mortify your earthly members [Col. 3:5]), but with With unceasing attention to oneself and with diligent, unceasing prayer with abstinence, with the help of God, it is possible to overcome and eradicate them. Two or three people praying. I reverence even two or three praying together, for, according to the promise of the Lord, He Himself is among them [Matt. 18, 20 ]; I am even more in awe of the large gathering. Conciliar prayer is successful and multi-useful if it is friendly and unanimous (gathered in My name [Matthew 18:20]). The diligent prayer of the Church for the Apostle Peter immediately penetrated the throne of God, and the Lord sent His Angel to miraculously free Peter from prison, whom Herod wanted to kill. The united prayer of the apostles Paul and Silas brought down to them heavenly miraculous help from the Holy Spirit. (See Acts of the Apostles.) During Lent, the accursed, stupidest, passionate flesh goes berserk: they called me to serve prayer services on a company ship: ktitor 36 Vasily Faddeevich Kuzmin, the owner or treasurer of the ship. I took the prosphora to give it to him, but my flesh goes crazy, feels sorry for the prosphora, butts me, presses me and says: you don’t need him and won’t give you anything, doesn’t invite you to visit, [for example], and doesn’t give much for the prayer service. But the spirit says: it’s okay if I give the prosphora for free; we must love each other unselfishly, to the point of selflessness; everything earthly is rubbish, man is the image of God, a member of Christ, the heir of the future Kingdom; for the honor of mail, if he accepted the prosphora from me. And with prayer I barely got rid of her, crafty, greedy, satiated. We must, truly speaking, rejoice in every carnal deprivation that is not harmful to the body, for a sound mind is in a sound body; rejoice that you have served someone in some way, and even more so when you do not receive reward, for the Lord will reward you both in this life and in the future. What a carnal possession! Why, what internal dishonor, what disgrace, what oppression! Save us, Son of God, from dishonorable passions. Have faith in Jesus Christ (Who is one and the same in everyone - in rich and poor, in those who wear expensive and soft clothing, and in cheap and coarse rags) our Lord of glory, regardless of person [Jas. 2, 1]. Equally willingly bless the rich and the poor and rejoice that they seek the blessing of the Lord, without being in the least burdened by this holy deed. Do not rush and do not bless carelessly, without attention, not from the heart, but always without fail from the heart, with faith and love. May the womb of Christ be in you, loving and pitying everyone. Nowadays there are few who seek priestly blessings, and we must especially rejoice at the grace of God when someone asks for it. And you, stupid, get irritated with beggars who seem to demand blessings at the wrong time. (I came to the church for matins and was about to go to the altar, but the poor woman, out of her zeal for me and love and respecting the blessing of God in my blessing, called me away and told me to bless her. I did, but said: couldn’t it be done later? - I said with my heart, and then apologized. Where was I in a hurry? I don’t know. But for a long time it was hard for me due to irritation with the poor woman.) From the present corruptible life we ​​must hasten to that incorruptible, eternal life of the future century, which is spoken of in the Creed, about which the Lord speaks in the Gospel: But if you want to enter into eternal life, keep the commandments [Matt. 19, 17], or: he who eats My Flesh and drinks My Blood has eternal life [Jn. 6.54], - and despise real life, especially the wicked, voluptuous one. A Word for the Week about the paralytic. About spiritual relaxation, or about passions, about the spiritual font, about the need for baptism, about the need for repentance, tears for sins, about the need for daily heartfelt, internal and external prayer, about the need for heartfelt participation in the liturgy, which, like a bath, washes away our sins and imparts spiritual strength to our souls, about the need for mutual help, especially about the need for faith in the Lord and union with Him through faith and repentance; the source of our life, strength and peace is the one Lord and the fulfillment of His will, His commandments, philosophizing on things above, neglecting earthly things: spiritual philosophizing is life and peace, carnal thoughts are death [Rom. 8, 6 ]; pushing away from the Lord through sin means powerlessness, oppression, death. One sinful thought, one instantaneous sinful movement of the heart is death. There is an immediate need for repentance, contempt, condemnation of sinful thoughts and movements, and clinging again to the Lord. Without Him - not for a minute. Outside of Him there is death. Let a person who is accustomed to fresh air into the stinking air - he will immediately relax; and those who are accustomed to unclean air are unhealthy, pale, and weak. Don’t give food to a person or an animal - they will soon become weak; don’t create enough vapor in the machine - it will weaken, bad luck. So it is in the spiritual world. If a person separates from God through lack of faith, unbelief, passions (the stench of the devil), addiction to matter, a substance that is naturally heavy and inert, inactive, powerless, he will relax; unite with God - you will be strengthened. And unite with God by faith, repentance of your untruths, and the practice of virtues. An example from myself. Even if for a moment my heart becomes addicted to something earthly, I relax in spirit until, through repentance and pain over the sinful movement of my heart, I beg the Lord to forgive my sin and again unite with Him. Especially during divine services, the Lord does not tolerate a single sinful or biased thought—he punishes it. In an instant you can relax. In an instant you can strengthen yourself (Father Al. Lebedev’s case, mine with baby Katya). But if you don’t drive away a thought in an instant and it manages to settle in your heart, you won’t be able to drive it out of there soon. One must have the wisdom of the serpent in order to be able to strike her in the same way as she knows how to attack us. The soul is lightning, and Satan is lightning, as the Savior said: I saw Satan fall from heaven like lightning [Lk. 10, 18]. Lightning meets lightning, which means it converges. The trouble is for inert, weak souls, inattentive to themselves: they are constantly being stolen from, defeated by the enemy. Faith in the Savior, inner prayer, communion of the Holy Mysteries - these are our accurate, fast, strong, indestructible weapons, arrows, swords, stones, shields against enemies. Every Christian should stock up on them if you want to be a valiant warrior of Jesus Christ and defeat your enemies. He who does not have them is pitiful, he has not yet begun to be a Christian. We eat and drink - and there is no end: we had lunch, were full, left the table, some prayed to God, some didn’t, and then soon returned to the table, for tea. We constantly please the belly, and not God, the enemy, and not our Savior. And because of the womb, all the trouble from the beginning. What is the main work of a person on earth, especially a Christian? – Keeping God’s commandments, persistent struggle with sin, passions nesting in the heart, acquiring holiness (hallowed be Thy name), establishing the Kingdom of God within oneself. Malice, pride, envy, love of external splendor - the same ancient charm of the enemy as voluptuousness, greed for pleasant foods and drinks, pity for their neighbor; the same madness, the same blindness, insolence as blasphemy against God and all that is holy. What is a person and what are the various material gifts, for example money, bread, prosphyra, various sweets, various things that we give him? Man is infinitely superior to them and cannot even be compared with them, for everything, like dust, is subdued and thrown under his feet. Therefore, it is insane to spare anything for a person in his need or to give him something useful. This day I have received many inner mercies, O Lord, from Your goodness and Your bounty. Thank you. May 7, 1867 We should not give place in our hearts to the devilish dreaminess that mentally operates in our members, this evil suspiciousness that imposes on a person only possible, but not actual thoughts, intentions, words, actions, against our well-being, our honor, peace of mind, property, etc. Sometimes you observe this suspiciousness and think about it afterwards - what comes out is the stupidest fun, the evil fun of the enemy over our cowardice and lack of faith. In our thoughts, the enemy imposes such thoughts, desires, intentions, speeches, actions of some relative, neighbor, acquaintance, colleague against us, which never even occurred to him, as is often observed when we, in anxiety, communicate the dreams of our hearts to this neighbor, about whom we have an evil opinion. But Christian love thinks no evil, covers everything, never falls away [1 Cor. 13, 5 – 8]. God! Destroy in us our pride, malice, envy, suspicion, etc., destroy the machinations of the enemy, which are constantly being done to us by the primordial murderer. With bread that is pleasing to the eye, good for food, the enemy confuses him with desire or pity for others; at the sight of a person of the same faith, a merchant, a partner, a co-servant, who does not favor us in any way or does not indulge our passions, it confuses us with anger and pride. But both are the dreams of an evil demon, and we must despise them and not succumb to them. This is where quietness, meekness of disposition, prudence, calmness, decent importance, patience, kindness, goodwill, inner prayer are needed, when you see in front of you inflated pride, anger, irritability over trifles, violence, restlessness, pickiness, lack of common sense in words and actions. Otherwise, what would happen if we began to respond to evil with evil, to madness with madness? Yes, we would destroy each other. But if you bite and devour one another, take heed lest you be destroyed one another [Gal. 5, 15], says the Apostle. But here these absurdities happen all the time. One started fire, the other responded with the same fire. They fight, but they don’t know why. So with individuals, so with nations. Our internal downfalls most often consist in the fact that we either regret something, or strongly desire something, or are hostile to someone, or envy someone. One should not look with surprise and malice at various sins, weaknesses, and passions of men, because this is old charm, the weakness of the entire human race, and people themselves, no one could get rid of it with their own strength, and a Savior of men was needed - not an intercessor, not an Angel, but the Lord Himself in the flesh, may He save all mankind. Therefore, we must despise human passions, even those directed at us, for example, envy, malice, pride, stinginess, covetousness, and not become embittered towards those subject to them, but treat them meekly, act on them with word, conviction, secret prayer, as the Lord, as His holy saints treated their enemies. This is the worldly wisdom of a Christian. Do not desire much and brilliant things, but be content with little and modest, simple things, for the desire for much and brilliant things leads to quarrels, envy, and in general to many griefs and displeasures for your neighbor. God! By the power of Your grace we take cities, we make friends out of enemies, we conquer the kingdom - we destroy the kingdom of sins and passions. Glory to Your power, Lord! I see, I see, God of hearts, how wonderfully, powerfully, graciously, invisibly You act on human hearts! If you want to be friends with everyone, and with your enemies, be gentle and kind to everyone internally and externally, and no one will make you angry. And who will do you harm if you are zealous for good? [ 1 Pet. 3, 13]. If you find a pleasant dish at home or among people, do not attack it with greed and do not eat a lot, so as not to show your animal nature, but eat slowly, without greed, a little, so that you will have food and drink for health. Absurd self-love: we want the best for ourselves from others, but we ourselves often do not want the best for others and do not give the best, but give the worst or wish evil; We wish for ourselves, for example, sweet, expensive, better - for others we spare sweet, expensive, better, giving them unsweetened or less sweet, worse, cheap; We especially do this with people of low status, the poor: those who need to be consoled more, we spare the consolations, but for those who are always abundantly consoled by material goods, we do not spare our property, everything that is best, dear, sweet, and often, wanting to please their taste, we waste tens, if not hundreds of rubles. I am heavenly, and with Paul the Apostle I count everything as rubbish [Phil. 3, 8]. You, Lord, confirm. He goes before them (showing an example of virtue); and the sheep follow him (imitating Him), because they know his voice. They do not follow someone else (following Satan), but run from him (from vices), because they do not know (and do not want to know) someone else’s voice [Jn. 10, 4 – 5]. After the Lord Himself deigned to present Himself to us under the guise of bread and wine, we Christians are ashamed and sinful to have greed for food and drink, for bread and wine, or to spare bread for others in need of bodily needs, or to have an addiction, greed for corruptible, perishing goods. Do not do the evil that perishes, but do the evil that abides in the eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you [John. 6, 27 ]; and I, a madman, having so often received the Holy Mysteries, still have an addiction and greed for perishable food and drink! To trample on pride, from an inferior, a junior, willingly accept instruction if it is in accordance with common sense, and if not, do not accept it, but respect the one who instructs as a person, as a brother or sister, as respected in the same way and likeness of God, reason, free will, as having the same moral dignity. You hate, despise, scold me - but I hate myself, but not you, I despise, scold, because [...] there is no reason for me to be angry with you, and in general to be angry with anything is insane, for being angry is a voluntary disease. You persecute me, but I must persecute myself more than you, but not you, for because of my sins I am worthy of it. Attributing every sin in your neighbor more to the devil, his old charm, rooted in a person as a result of upbringing and habit, repetition, pity the sinner, pray for him when, for example, he grossly contradicts you, condemns you, slanderes you, speaks insolence, absurdity, but do not be offended, do not be angry, do not have malice or enmity towards him, for this is incitement of the spirit of malice. Always have in reserve the wisdom of the serpent and the integrity of the dove. You are surprised why your family is sometimes very disposed towards you, kind, sweet, and other times they rear up against you for no reason, offend you, scold you, say insolent things. This is from the devil. This is a temptation. Pray especially at this time for yourself and for them, so as not to fall into attack, so as not to become embittered towards each other, not to quarrel and not to please the enemy, but to endure the storm that comes with meekness and kindness. Don’t chase abusive or false words that slander or slander you: they are smoke, a ghost, nothing. Take care of the peace of mind, the integrity of your soul, which is dearer to you than anything in the world. You will be a wise man in Christ if you pray with meekness and love for all your offenders and admonish them with words of meekness and calmness. Try by all means, by your life, to constantly console the Heavenly Father, that is, with your meekness, humility, kindness, obedience, self-control, prudence, peacefulness, patience, mercy, sincere friendship with worthy people, affection towards everyone, cordial hospitality, goodwill towards everyone, correctness in business, simplicity of heart and disposition, the purity of all thoughts of the heart. Make us wise and establish us, O God, to live according to Your will, for You are our Father, and we are Your children in Christ Jesus our Lord. Well, what do you need, man, in the thorns of sins and passions? Do they pleasantly butt you, are they kind, are the consequences from them pleasant? Oh, how fiercely they sting! Oh, how bitter is their consequence from them! And in the beginning, how flattering they are sometimes! Yesterday the madness of my heart was reflected in me to the highest degree: how pleasant it is for me when I visit good people and eat with them, so yesterday at first it was unpleasant for me to receive them, and I had to endure a strong struggle with myself so as not to fall, not to weaken in spirit, not to become indignant at good people. Then, with internal, frequent and intense prayer, I drove away my trouble in the name of the Lord and treated the guests kindly. O passionate heart! Oh, gluttony! Human! Don't think about food and drinks when guests arrive! There is something higher and more expensive than these dishes and drinks, something before which everything in this world and the world itself are insignificant. These are our rational and immortal souls, their unity, sympathy, their mutual love; especially the Lord God, whose image is installed in them, who lives in them and is one with them, that is, with those who cling to Him. What an important thing, you will think, is that your sister-in-law and wife did not listen to you and indignantly received the news from you about the guests who came to you and the request for refreshments (priest Al. Lebedev and Colonel Dmitriev): you are now embittered with them for this - but are you obedient to the Lord? Do you not constantly offend the Lord by disobedience to His will, by opposing Him? Do not be offended yourself when they oppose you, but endure it generously, endure this inner cross and pray for those who oppose you, so that they will not resist the will of God in the same way as they resist yours, so that their soul will not perish because of this sin. If you see a disease, apply healing. God! You save me constantly: save me and finally into Your Heavenly Kingdom, grant me an ageless life. God! Subdue my household under me. The fornicator must be told: you insult human nature, you insult God, who with His most pure hands created man in His image and likeness, you are an enemy and slanderer of human nature. So it is with every sinner: the glutton, the glutton, the drunkard, the proud, the envious, the miser, the lover of money ([merchant-miser esp.]), the sloth (eat bread by the sweat of your brow), etc. When praying through ready-made prayers, Prayer Books, Missals, Breviaries, Octoechos, Triodes, Menaions, remember that all these are great, unspoken gifts of Divine revelation, and wholeheartedly thank the Lord for this revelation, which cleanses, pacifies, enlightens our souls - and always read the prayers reverently. May 14, 1867 Sunday. God! I thank You, for You have granted me the grace with great strength, in the truth of my heart, to perform the Divine Liturgy without stumbling, to partake of the Divine Mysteries without condemnation, and to utter the word about the resurrection of the dead. I thank You, Lord, for through the hope of Your all-good and all-powerful grace You saved me yesterday from the great oppression and embarrassment of the enemy, which they brought upon me in the gymnasium before the test. I thank Thee, for Thou didst hear my prayer for Thy children, and mine, more than Thy, disciples, so that they would give a favorable answer during the test, and give according to Thy gift. In the apartment of Ivan Fedor, the former sexton of the Vladimir Church, the enemy stopped blessing the meal: I did not pronounce the words of blessing - food and drink. Grant boldness, Lord, always in prayer. But most of all I thank You, for You granted me victory over the machinations of the enemy during the communion of the Holy Mysteries, and You saved me from the action of the enemy’s dreams, that the wine was not good, but was not transformed into the Holy Blood! How can the Lord not transform wine, although of poor quality, into His Holy Blood, when He transforms our nature, corrupted by sin, into a new one, fragrant with the grace of the Holy Spirit? May 16, 1867 Morning. Remember the speed and strength of the devil’s attack on man and its elusiveness and our absent-mindedness, common to all, and weakness, and innate sinful corruption, and have leniency towards every person, so that people and God will be lenient towards you. And respect man as created in the image of God and as a member of Christ and ours, and despise his sins, and pray for him, that the Lord Himself will correct him, for without God we cannot do anything. Be as strict with yourself as possible. Maintain simplicity of heart in dealing with your neighbors, so that your heart does not become divided between attachment to your neighbor and attachment to the flesh, to substance. For this is insignificant dust, disappearing, but this is the image of God, in which God Himself is revered. I thank You, Lord, for You gave my disciples a good answer to the test they carried out. God! I thank You, for You have granted me the grace of love and peace regarding my household! Lord, I thank You, for You have given me the grace to perform a prayer without stumbling at the magistrate Averky Shebutin on May 17. I asked you for this, and You heard my prayer, and my heart was not troubled. I thank You, for You have given me faith and innocence during the prayer service, especially during the water-blessing prayer. Everyone must remember that every person, in addition to his animal nature, also has a spiritual nature, that the animal has its own requirements, and the spiritual has its own. Requirements of animal nature: eat, drink, breathe, light, dress, keep warm; spiritual nature - to think, feel, speak, have communication with God through prayer, worship, the Sacraments, teaching in the word of God and with neighbors through mutual conversation, charitable assistance, mutual teaching, edification. We must also remember that animal nature is temporary, transitory, perishable, but spiritual nature is eternal, imperishable, indestructible; that the flesh must be despised as transitory, but diligence about the soul, things more immortal, about its salvation, its enlightenment, cleansing from sins, addictions, vices, about adornment with virtues - meekness, humility, kindness, courage, patience, submission and obedience to God and people, purity, abstinence. Make every person, O Lord, wise to always remember this. God! May Your spiritual and material gifts not be idle in us and with us; give them movement that is salutary and useful. Do this in everyone. May Your talents be multiplied, O Lord, by the own activity of each of us. Look at an angry, proud, arrogant person like the wind and do not be offended by his anger, pride, arrogance, but be at peace within yourself. The enemy deliberately irritates you, inflaming human passions or arousing in your heart various suspicions of an evil nature and dreams of the imagination. How many times have I corrupted myself through intemperance in food and drink, and so many times through my prayer of repentance and through the communion of Your Divine Mysteries, You have restored, renewed, strengthened me, O Lord, my Creator and Savior! What will I repay You for this, O most merciful Benefactor? Even if I bring you songs equal to the sand, I will do nothing worthy of what you gave me. Guide me on the path of Your commandments and establish me in Your ways! Teach me, above all, abstinence and fasting and contentment with little things! Is this how the holy and chosen flock, that is, Orthodox Christians, live? Does he walk by faith, does he live holy, does he live abstinently, does he hope for the second coming of Christ and the Last Judgment? Does eternal torment tremble? Does he long for eternal bliss? Is it not attached to temporal life? O royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for an inheritance [1 Pet. 2, 9 ]! Heed yourself abundantly. You will be charged a lot. Is this how those who have hope in the resurrection and the life of the next century live? Is this how those who have received notification and firm confirmation from the Leader of their faith, unfalse and true, live in the truth of the certainty of future eternal torment? How insignificant is the earth and earthly life in comparison with heaven, with the eternal Kingdom of Christ! And we are so attached to the earth and so careless about the salvation of the soul, about eternal life! May 21. During early mass - the greatest, terrible tightness, sorrow, disappearance, hoarseness in the throat. The royal house spoke; before the Transubstantiation of the Gifts, his voice almost changed completely; the prayer behind the pulpit is good; The prayer service to the Vladimir Mother of God is good, but everything is cramped; fervent prayer to the Lord and the Mother of God saved me from a dead end at the prayer service; I read the Blessing of Water prayer strongly and missed a few words in two or three places. On the eve of the jelly, I ate veal with black bread, but I shouldn’t have. Oh, intemperance! Oh, animality! What are the crosses on the priest's vestments for? - That his priesthood is Christ’s, that for the sake of Christ’s merits his prayer is accepted, the Sacraments performed by him have power, that his word is the word of Christ, and all of him is Christ’s, and that he himself must wear an internal or external cross. Pay attention not to the words of those who are proud, but to strength. Often a word, apparently rude, is said not at all from the rudeness of the heart, but out of habit. What if all people paid strict, critical attention to our words, without Christian love, condescending, covering, meek, patient? We should have died a long time ago. Tasting the heavenly waste of the Most Pure Body and Blood of Christ, just as I still treasure the corruptible waste; Tasting the sweet Jesus almost daily, how do I treasure the corruptible, coarse sweets? The Lord does not spare Himself for me and gives me food: how can I spare sweet meat and drink for my neighbors? But keep us from luxury and excess, O Lord! Grant me to cool down to all the sweets and beauties and honors of earth, and to be kindled with hot-necked love for You, as this is worthy and righteous. All passions operating in me tend to harm and dishonor me, and I must counteract them quickly, decisively, firmly. What passions? – Pride, malice, stinginess, greed, gluttony, envy, covetousness, sluggishness 39 and laziness, waywardness and stubbornness, cowardice and cowardice, rancor, malice and gloating, inappropriate laughter, despair, etc. Christians, as the body of Christ, are Christ Himself. Saul, Saul! Why are you persecuting Me? [Acts. 9, 4]. But Saul did not persecute Christ himself, Who was in heaven at the right hand of the Father, but His followers and disciples. This is how high the importance of a Christian is! Hence the duty of Christians is to live in holiness, love, chastity, peace, patience, trust in Jesus Christ, in abstinence, mercy, peacemaking. When we see the saints, we must remember that they were people subservient to us, but, through their zeal, they acquired faith and ardent love for God and His truth, they cleansed themselves by the grace of God from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, acquired virtues and became saints, that we must imitate them and work out our salvation like them, striving for the same dispassion, for the same holiness with all our might. Twice yesterday, the accursed one, spared sweets for his neighbors: honey and sweet tea. Oh, greed! All to yourself! And I don’t feel sorry for myself. If you want to be calm and healthy and heavenly, never be satiated and do not eat very pleasantly, do not spare anything for anyone, consider everything as rubbish in comparison with man, who is the image of God on earth and the king of the whole earth, which is all nothing before him. What good is it... even the whole world... [Matt. 16, 26; Mk. 8, 36]. Consider every Christian as if it were Christ Himself. Whoever is unskilled in these two things and also in humility and gentleness, the devil daily leads him by the nose, like a submissive slave, and daily plunges him into sorrow, oppression and shame of himself and others. I thank You, Most Holy Lady, for You heard me, bowing before Your Most Pure Image and crying out from my heart to save me from the malice that began in my heart, and You saved me, and gave me peace and freedom. Glory to the speed of Your salvation, glory to Your kindness, Your prompt obedience! I thank You, my Savior and God, for you often save me from the effects of passions, and always bend my knees before Your all-good and all-powerful power and cry out to You from the heart. Glory to Thee, God of my salvation! O God of our salvation, God of salvation, glory to Thee! You are strong in mercy and good in strength, to help and comfort and save all who trust in Your holy name! 41 One must look at the blessings of present life as a shadow of the future: at the light - as a shadow of an unapproachable light in which holy Angels and righteous people live; into the air, as into the image of the Spirit of God, by whom we will live and breathe; on sweets - as an image of future indescribable sweets from the contemplation of the indescribable kindness of the face of God; at beautiful clothing - as an image of the future clothing of glory in which the saints will be clothed - and, looking in this way, consider what is here as nothing and be inflamed with desire and thirst for future blessings, eternal, incorruptible, perfect. Teachers of external or worldly sciences themselves tell their students about the subjects of science in advance and show in practice the techniques of science, and then they force the students themselves to talk or do scientific experiments. So it is in spiritual science, in the science of piety: whoever wants to teach his neighbor any virtue, for example, humility, courtesy, friendliness, must himself teach these virtues in advance and verbally, telling what they are, how they are necessary for a person as a Christian, a member of the Church, as a member of civil society and family society and how to fulfill them, and he himself must constantly demonstrate them in practice, so that those taught always see beauty and superiority through experience, the necessity and benefit or application to life and courtesy to God and people of these wonderful virtues; equally, he must also show the ugliness of the opposite vices - pride, pompousness or pouting, uncivility and unfriendlyness, and point to living examples of pouting, uncivility and unattractiveness, imagining how ridiculous, pathetic and blind pouty, arrogant people are, that one should not be angry with them, be embittered, but pity them and correct them with one’s good example, which, like a mirror, will best show them the ugliness of their actions or the ugliness of a proud soul, or tell humorous or tragic examples of shamed pride, as well as examples of exalted humility, friendliness, affection, and respect for elders. But most importantly, the teacher of virtue himself must be imbued with the spirit of it, he himself must serve as a living and clear example of it, he himself must not have in himself the slightest vice opposite to the spirit, the opposite of passion, for example, pride, malice, envy, greed and intemperance, which are opposed to humility, meekness, kindness, sincere goodwill towards everyone and abstinence, indifference to food and drink. Then, with the help of God's grace, it is easy to teach this or that virtue to a person given over to vice. But if the teacher of piety is himself devoted, he himself is a slave to passions, and those taught know these passions and do not notice the corrections, then the most correct lessons of piety do not have the proper effect on them, because he himself is the first to refute them with his life and, as it were, destroys what he creates. We must especially avoid the sin of self-love and try to root it out of our hearts, because all vices, all passions stem from self-love: pride, envy, covetousness, malice and hatred, greed, gluttony, satiety and drunkenness, fornication, indecent life, laziness, willfulness and stubbornness, also despondency and cowardice or despair, stinginess or self-pity and to others the gifts of God - money, food, drink, clothing, housing, etc. A proud person is proud because he loves himself too much, thinking too highly of himself and at the same time humiliating others, not loving others as himself; the envious person also envies out of excessive self-love, wanting to take possession of what, in his opinion, others unjustly possess - and so all passions are different types of excessive pride. An ambitious person is ready to deprive the honor of all those equal to him who enjoy honor, or his superiors, and to assign this honor to himself alone, so that this honor is not given to others, as if he alone can do things worthy of praise, honor, glory, while others, like automata or idols, animals, do not deserve any praise, no matter what they do. How offensively the ambitious man looks at his neighbors, who are similar to him in everything! Therefore, one must uproot self-love and be dispassionate towards everything - praise and blame, honor and dishonor, when they beat and caress, threaten and promise mercy, and in general, always and invariably look at every person and treat him with respect, despite his shortcomings and remembering that man, despite his sins and passions, is the image of God, as the Church sings: the ineffable image of Your glory, even I bear the ulcers of sin 42 that he is a member of Christ (if a Christian), although sick, and a member of our body, although infected with leprosy, and deal with meekly, carefully, with love and, if necessary, strictly, decisively, firmly, in order to stop evil, but without bitterness and ardor. Make us wise and strengthen us, Lord, to live according to Your will, like Your children! A self-loving person, loving unfairly and immeasurably himself, and most importantly, his ghost - his flesh, the old man, filled with the many different defilements of sin, cannot love God in any way unless he recognizes his error, repents and corrects himself, for he, as an egoist, is God to himself, he is his own law, and not God, he creates the will of the flesh and thoughts, and not the will of God, the will enemy, and not God, for pride, and anger, and greed, and gluttony, and disobedience, and waywardness, and envy, etc. are constantly at work in him. That is why, according to the words of our only Teacher and Lord Jesus Christ, in order to please God, one must deny oneself, take up one’s cross and follow Him [Matt. 16, 24; Mk. 8, 34; OK. 9, 23]. You again became proud, again you regretted the food and drink of the coming brother, which is not yours, but God’s, for the earth is the Lord’s, and its fulfillment [Ps. 23, 1]. Oh, self-love! Oh, envy and malice! Not only did you regret it, but you also said out loud to everyone that you don’t like guests who come often. - How? Don't you love your brothers and sisters in Christ? Yes, you are an infidel, you are a pagan and worse than him. And you are not ashamed, are you not afraid of breaking God’s commandment in the presence of the Lord Himself, who commanded us to love one another as He Himself loved us? And why? Because of the food, because of the sweet drink. O glutton! O sensualist! Until now you are still a slave of the womb, and not of Christ Jesus. You should rejoice every time you have to treat your neighbor, to receive as a guest as if Christ Himself, but you grieve, are indignant, embarrassed that guests have come to you. From now on, be always glad to come to guests, not idle and idle talkers, but well-behaved ones, and especially to orphans, widows and widowers, the grieving, the poor, the strange, the monastics; Remember that the most generous God will send you in abundance for every guest or beggar and that a person needs very little to quench his hunger and thirst, that the Lord will reward for love, but will severely punish for a hostile disposition of the soul towards a brother. Love God and your neighbor at every moment, and consider material gifts as rubbish and despise them. A Christian must be heavenly, must not care about earthly things, not feel sorry for them, especially a priest, and with all his soul must turn to heavenly, incorruptible, eternal blessings. Be afraid to offend someone by word or deed, lest the Spirit of grace depart from you and lest the spirit of malice take possession of you. It is better to endure insults than to offend; It is better to give alms of money, sweets, clothes than to offend someone for money, sweets, clothes, housing or any thing. Empty, nonsense. So we chase after empty things almost all our lives, I mean food, drink, clothes, various things, but we neglect the true, essential - soul, virtue (for example, abstinence, humility, kindness, etc.), eternity. Sometimes we offend a brother because of the most empty thing, and after the offense we ourselves see that we offended him out of nothing, but the deed has already been done - only bitter repentance remains. So, shouldn’t we once and for all consider the empty as empty and not henceforth pursue the empty and always honor our neighbor with similar honor, as created in the image of God, as immortal in soul, as a citizen of heaven, as a child of God, as a member of Christ, as a member of His Church, which is His Body [Eph. 1, 23 ]? Everything I have is free, because I received it freely from God, and I spare God’s gifts for His better creation on earth, to whom everything is subjugated. What kind of scoundrel am I? Where does this absurdity, this anger, envy, stinginess, this idolatry come from in me? - From the one who deceived me in the beginning with the poison of the tree and has power in the belly: on your forearms and belly you will walk [Gen. 3, 14]. Here we mean our womb, which became, as it were, his womb, when he deceived us with his womb. Hence the need for fasting in order to return the trophy of victory taken from us by the enemy. Hence the fast of Jesus Christ, the apostles, the Forerunner, the glorious Elijah, Ananias, Azariah, Misail, Daniel, Esther, the saints, the martyrs, all the saints. Sweets and money are worse than ordinary dust, rubbish, because they clog the soul, while ordinary rubbish only litters the body and the room. Oh, how one must zealously despise sweets and money, and even clothes. Our life is simple, because our life is Jesus Christ, the Son of God, a very simple, eternal, beginningless Being. God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son [1 John. 5, 11]. Why do we look for life in people, and in sweets, and in money, and in honors, and in clothes, etc.? There is no life for the heart, but there is sorrow, oppression, spiritual death. Why do we leave the source of living waters - the Lord - and dig up broken cisterns that cannot hold water [Jer. 2, 13 ]? Why are we fussing and fussing? Why are we greedy for sweets, for money, for honors, for clothes, for various things? All this is dead, perishable, temporary. He who has the power of death - the devil - is just as simple and simply catches us and stings us to death. Therefore, you need to keep your ear sharp and not cling to anything, so as not to be hurt by it. The temptations that come to you from sweets should have long ago convinced you to trample on them, to despise them, and not to love them, not to have an addiction to them, although they are all in the cesspool; in fact, for many hearts they are a plague, leprosy; because of them, how much sin, enmity against neighbors, alienation from God, adultery, envy, greed, stinginess! Sweets for many are a sore spot, dissonance, disharmony in the instrument. A Christian must despise sweets and not be a carnivore and a glutton. Bread and water. And we enjoy ourselves every day. I have only one sweetness, an eternal sweetness – Christ. Treating guests with bread and salt and treating them kindly, despite their frequent visits, is the same alms, the same mercy that we show to the poor by giving them money or clothing. We must rejoice and not grieve in both cases, for this turns out to be like Christ the Savior Himself, the generous Creator of the All and God. And for a cup of cold water there will be a reward [Matt. 10, 42]. We must act like believers, and not like unbelievers, and should not pursue retribution here. What would happen to us, sinners, if our neighbors rewarded us for everything here? – Our sins would not be cleansed, but alms delivers from death and cleanses all sin. You see, alms are given to us as a great benefit for ourselves, as a means to our salvation. The more generous, hospitable alms we show to man, to this great creature whose soul is in the image and likeness of God, the more honor and reward we will receive from God. Therefore, alms should be strong, generous and hospitable - with what God sent to treat, but with goodwill. Run such a way of life that you live only by animal impulses and desires, to drink, eat, get dressed, walk, sleep, then eat, drink and walk again. This way of life finally kills the completely spiritual life of a person, making him a completely earthly and earthly being, while a Christian should be heavenly even on earth. Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand [Matt. 3, 2]. Our Father, who art in heaven! We must read the word of God more, pray at home and in church and in every place - more, of course, internally than externally, reflect on God, on creation, on the purpose and predestination of man, on providence, on redemption, on the inexpressible love of God for the human race, on the life and deeds of holy men of God who pleased God with various virtues, and [...], also fast, examine your conscience, repent sincerely and deeply of your sins, etc. There is a future life - proof from internal phenomena in the soul. Thus, a priest, performing the Liturgy, this heavenly service on earth, cannot have and nourish in himself a single earthly thought without punishment: he will think about earthly things with desire - sorrow and crampedness, consider everything as rubbish, unworthy of attention especially at this time, cling with all his heart to God and will philosophize on heaven - it will be easy, easy. Rejoice and be glad, seeing the icon of the Mother of God with the Eternal Child and the union of the Divine with humanity to the point that man became the Mother of God and everyone became deified; worship the icon of the Lady more often and more diligently: She sees and hears everyone and everything in everyone, not a single thought, not a single movement of the heart is hidden from Her. This life is not life: there is life ahead, in heaven. Real life is the path to life, a fleeting shadow, steam, disappearing smoke. What is your life? a vapor that appears for a short time and then disappears [Jas. 4, 14]. The poor are gentle sheep, embittered by many. They are regrettable for many reasons. Why do tree fruits, trees themselves, grain plants, grass, flowers grow? As a result of the words of the Creator: let the earth sprout the former herbs [Gen. 1, 11] etc., and not because nature arranges it this way, as some retrained wise men say. Nature without God is an empty word. Why do fish, birds, livestock, animals, insects, and reptiles reproduce? – The consequence of the words of the Creator: grow and multiply, and fill the earth [Gen.1, 28]. Why are people born and multiplied? Due to the blessing of the Creator: grow and multiply, and fill the earth, and not due to the blind arbitrariness of nature. This is your daily mercy and pleasing to God, if you always treat your family kindly, although they do not deserve it, be forgiving, patient with their weaknesses, shortcomings (as God treats yours and everyone), do not be angry with them for disorder, for roughness, for rude, disobedient and capricious or even evil treatment. When you live like a sheep among wolves, the wolves try to tear the sheep to pieces, but it stands meek and kind. May the Lord encourage and strengthen you. You know what a blessed sacrament the Lord does to us constantly. – He judges, punishes, awakens the spirit of repentance, contrition, prayer, cleanses, saves from passions, sanctifies, pacifies, cheers our spirit, unites with us and prepares for us the inheritance of eternal life. Fragrant myrrh is Your name, beginningless, life-giving Trinity - Father, Son and Holy Soul. O Lord, bless my soul and body. Fragrant myrrh - Thy name, Most Holy Lady Theotokos - fragrance me too! Fragrant myrrh - your names, holy Archangels and Angels and all the heavenly ranks - perfume me too. Fragrant myrrh - your names, holy apostles, prophets, martyrs, saints, saints and saints, and all saints; in all of you the grace of the Holy Spirit and the entire Holy Trinity are fragrant - fragrance my soul, O saints of God, and drive away evil passions from my soul. With meditation, with God-thought, perform the proskomedia and liturgy, with reverence and God-thought, perform all the Sacraments. One must not only eat the Body and Blood of Christ, but also pronounce these words, think about this shrine with fear, reverence and love, tenderness, and contrition for one’s sins. What is the harm from gluttony and luxury in food and drink, clothing, tableware, furniture, etc.? The enormous harm is that those who are addicted to all this, the poor and hungry and poorly dressed and living in huts, do not consider themselves to be people, but exalt themselves beyond measure, love, cherish, do not sympathize with the grief of others and turn away from God, because they have many gods of their own, who, however, cannot give life. When you hate, envy, are proud, love money, fornicate in thoughts, turn all your anger and hatred on yourself and say: oh, what a vile heart and will I have, and immediately repent, cry, correct yourself, and be patient with people, be forgiving - just be very strict with yourself. Corruption, changeability, denigration, destruction and the passing of temporary things should be for us the reason for our joy and lift our thoughts and hearts to the imperishable, unchangeable. Faith must embrace my entire being, all my powers - mind, heart, imagination, memory, will, especially love for God and His image on earth - man, must embrace my entire being. Prayer also [should] embrace the whole being, all powers and abilities. You want to smell sweet because you are constantly anointing yourself with incense. - Live holy, and your soul will be fragrant with the grace of God, and you will be an everlasting aroma for the Lord and people. But these material fragrances are vanity for those who are addicted to them. I thank You, Lord, because I, who fell with an inner prayer for my salvation at Your throne, heard and had mercy on me, unworthy of mercy. How obedient and quick You are in intercession! The soul, in its fullness of existence, swears at the honeycomb [Prov. 27, 7], that is, the word of God, the Holy Sacraments, does not want to often partake of the Holy Body and Blood of the Lord, pray, and runs away from spiritual conversation. At proskomedia, during the liturgy and other services, we remember the prophets, apostles, saints, martyrs, and saints as a reminder that we continue their ministry and through our service we achieve the same glory, the same ageless life that they achieved by the grace of God. Through black glasses and the sun appears black. And I, a sinner, have black glasses. Enlighten my eyes, Lord! Lead all your spiritual children to eternal life without fail. To have the biblical spirit and to instill the church spirit. The wisdom, grace and omnipotence of God are especially seen in the fact that the Lord places each of us in a place where we can, if we want, bring God the fruit of good deeds and save ourselves and others, and that He makes the greatest sinners righteous, obeying His grace, drawing us to salvation, and miraculously saves us from all circumstances, saving us from destruction itself. Do you want others to quickly correct themselves from their shortcomings, but do you quickly correct yourself, do you not suffer the same as others? Is it not from you, from your malfunction, that others will become stuck in sins and passions? Oh, shepherd!.. Oh, father! Take pride and anger from your heart, and suddenly it will melt like wax from fire. The evil flesh is a disaster! He will look and sin, and then the sin will be repeated if we do not restrain ourselves; so both anger and pride invade quickly, slyly, thievesly, and with violence. I live with them as a guest and benefit from the benefits of their father, and I am a stranger and a wanderer with them. Love for them, gratitude. Stupid, blind malice even becomes embittered against innocent babies. How can you believe the malice of your heart! In cases of solemn prayer, one must strengthen oneself in spirit in the strongest possible way, so as not to become embittered against anyone, or to not weaken by laughing from some stupid reason, for example, from looking at someone or something, or to not be defiled by a lustful thought from looking at a woman, or by an addiction to some beautiful thing, for example, to a kamilavka or a chasuble, etc., for in these cases the enemy fights harder to steal we have a prayer and leave us fruitless. It is necessary to first pray at home or in church in private in order to strengthen the soul FOR public prayer, and also fast, because the heart, weakened by intemperance and satiety, is very conveniently captured by the devil, and he turns it according to his will, like the wind with the wheels of a windmill. Lord, have mercy on me. I have sinned greatly before You, the all-seeing, all-holy, all-righteous. Forgive my frivolity. May 26, 1867 Seven o'clock in the evening, at the end of the prayer service thanking the Lord God for saving the life of the Emperor in Paris 43. Look, day by day you advance in meekness and gentleness, so that you will be a sheep of the verbal flock of Christ, and not a goat. Do not be irritated when they take what is yours, just as a sheep is not irritated when its wool is sheared. Our estate is like wool. They will take the wool, but we will remain safe. And man is a lie without the grace of God, and his aspirations are lies, and his thoughts, and intentions, and his deeds are death, and in his soul there is death. Our crafty, multi-passionate flesh, when it sins, blames its sin on others, while others are often not at all to blame; in this case, you must sincerely blame yourself alone and no one else. I have sinned, I have acted lawlessly; and these sheep, what did they do? - speak like David [2 Sam. 24, 17 ], and diligently eradicate your passions. O earthly blessings, for which my flesh and my carnal heart are addicted, as salty as you are, painful for me, or the spirit of addiction towards you! It is good for my soul to cleave to the one God. Lady Theotokos, destroy the connection of my heart with earthly sweets, beauties, honors and grant me to love with all my heart eternal sweetness, eternal beauty, the honor of a heavenly title! Compare how you live and how the poor live: compare your apartment and theirs, your food and theirs, your clothes and shoes and theirs, your dishes, furniture and theirs, your passport and their lack of passport, your income and salary and their lack of income and lack of salary - and deeply, deeply pity them. How should you thank God for one thing, that you are not a beggar, although your soul may be worse than a beggar’s, and do not hesitate to give to the poor, so that you may find the Lord merciful to yourself. Do everything opposite to what the enemy inspires: he inspires to hate those who offend us - you love them, bless those who scold, do not torture those who take what you have, and give it back willingly; when you want to laugh, cry; when you feel despondent, try to have fun; when there is envy, rejoice in the well-being of others; when you struggle with contradiction, disobedience, immediately submit and agree; when you have lustful thoughts, be jealous of the purity of your heart, imagine the high dignity of a Christian, deified in Christ Jesus, that our members are members of Christ; when there is pride, humble yourself, when there is anger, be especially kind, when there is irritability, remain calm, when there is stinginess, be generous, when there is absent-mindedness, immediately shut off your feelings from everything external and think about the only thing that is needed; when there is doubt, lack of faith, lack of faith - call on a particularly strong faith for help, remember examples of faith or believers in the Old and New Testaments and miracles performed by faith, etc. Do this, and do not give in to the enemy-dreamer, for all passions, addictions, whims are his dream. Will we behave like animals, so that when others take what is ours, we will look at them angrily and try to take revenge on them or drive them away? But we are rational beings, gifted with the image and likeness of God, and the property of rational beings is unity, community and friendly, firm, constant, unwavering striving towards our great goal, towards our destiny through virtues. A servant of the living God, or a priest, whose heart is the temple of the Holy Spirit living in him, should not be wounded by any worldly, carnal or material love, should not spare earthly sweets for people, nor money, nor clothes, and should not desire sweets, money, clothes, a magnificent home, rich furniture, dishes, but everyone should be wounded by the love of Divine and the love of human souls and zeal for salvation. God! I thank You for the boldness with which I expressed Your truth to Brother Constantine. Previously, out of cowardice, I was afraid to speak what was due, but now I dared and became very calm after a short-term indignation, and I aroused self-respect in those to whom I spoke the truth. Are you, the most crafty, the most evil Satan, caring about my life - aren’t you my Lord and my God? Why are you, the most deceitful Satan, constantly pretending to be my guardian for the delivery and multiplication of the blessings of a temporary, vain, deceptive, charming life? I don’t accept your hellish, lying guardianship - you cannot be my guardian, you all-destroying enemy, I don’t believe you one iota, get away from me in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ! The Lord shepherds me and deprives me of nothing [Ps. 22, 1]. You will spend the holiday well, for the glory of God and for the salvation of the soul, if you abstain from passions: malice, pride, covetousness, envy, stinginess, intemperance and drunkenness, laziness and absent-mindedness, carelessness about the soul, about pleasing God, and you practice the opposite virtues to these sins and other good deeds. You will celebrate not for God, but for Satan, if you get carried away by your passions and vices on holidays. You will have a good Sunday if you rise in soul to God, leaving behind lawless deeds, if you are reborn and renewed with grace. But you will spend your resurrection poorly and fruitlessly if you do not rise spiritually yourself, if you do not take away your malice, your covetousness, your addiction to earthly things from your heart and are not wounded in your soul by heavenly love, the love of God, the love of the heavenly Fatherland and that ageless life that is represented by Sunday, the day of the Sun of Truth. I commend my whole life and everything by which a person lives - my spiritual and bodily needs - to Christ God, Provider, Manager and Savior, for everything is in His hands, and let me diligently fulfill His commandments. If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink [Rom. 12, 20]. This means that I win if I feed and water not only my brother, but also my enemy. Let him eat and drink against my desire (or, what am I saying? - according to my desire, although my old man does not want to). But I’m not hostile to him. I must finally despise the sinful, deceitful, whimsical flesh, because of which there are so many daily sins, so much wrath of the Lord, the common Father, Provider and Savior of all. Look at your situation, how good it is in comparison with the situation of most people: you have a government-owned, spacious, clean apartment, while others either don’t have one or have a rented one, and often an expensive one. You don’t know the hassle of moving from apartment to apartment, your income is permanent - others either don’t or are temporary and very meager. God! Give me the grace to willingly distribute my property to the poor and not to be angry with the arrogant ones, but to overcome everything with meekness and kindness. Wake up! Do not forget that the poor are also created in the image and likeness of God, that they are children of the Heavenly Father, worthy of special pity and love, condescension. The more you have mercy, the [more] mercy you will receive from God: have mercy both materially and spiritually, give bread, money, clothes, etc., instruct, edify, treat kindly, never become embittered at annoying beggars, for you grieve the Lord most of all, but He is patient with you and continues to pour out His mercies to you. You begin your evening prayers for the lamp with the words: Generous and merciful Lord! These words should admonish you to be generous and merciful, like the Lord, to the poor and to people in general, to be generous towards those who take your property, such as money or food and drink. The Lord's Prayer, Our Father, characterizes all our relationships both to God and to each other: as children of the Heavenly Father, we must love Him above all else, must be submissive to Him, hope in His providence; how those who sin before Him, before Him alone, must ask Him for forgiveness; how to ask the all-good Provider not to lead us into temptation of weakness and to deliver us from the evil one - for He is the King, His power and glory forever; We must live among ourselves as brothers, in love, in communion of bodily needs - food, drink, money, clothing, housing, etc., hoping in the all-good and generous and righteous Heavenly Father that He will not allow us to become poor in these needs, but will supply and reward them a hundredfold. The poor persecute you every day: this means that the mercy of God constantly pursues you. Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy [Matt. 5, 7]. Who will run away from the mercy of God? Walk before the face of the Lord, the Mother of God, the heavenly Church, as you walk before the face of a sovereign, empress, father and mother, as you walk before the face of superiors or venerable older brothers and sisters. For all the saints live and in God form one Church with us, and see us unceasingly, and have spiritual communion with us as fellow members, as neighbors, as friends and brothers, fathers and mothers. Holy Father... Reverend Father... Reverend Mother... This means that the saints are filled with paternal and maternal feelings and compassion, caring, that by their example they raise us for eternal life, that we should resort to them with prayer, just as children resort to their parents with requests. However, with a prayer that befits the servants of God, and not the Master Himself, so that they pray to God for us. I called to You, O Lord, and You had mercy on me, and Your mercy is still upon me, a sinner. Glory to You! Thank you. But give me the grace not to sin either in heart, or in tongue, or in deed. God's holy men appreciated better than all of us the greatest work of God's redemption of the human race, the descent from heaven of the Son of God, His Divine teaching, [mysterious] suffering, death, burial, resurrection and ascension into heaven, for all their lives they did the work of saving themselves and others sincerely, firmly, unswervingly, with all their hearts; To save themselves and others, they denied themselves, fasted, prayed, kept watch, struggled in every possible way, worked in deed and word, mind and pen. But we do not know how to appreciate this greatest thing; we are cold, absent-minded, frivolous. We are more interested in the visible world and its blessings, which are smoke. The enemy is trying to trap us with an addiction to sweets at a time when we are preparing to begin the endless sweetness - the Body and Blood of Christ. If we see family members drinking sweet tea before celebrating mass, immediately, at the slightest inattention to himself, the enemy hurts the heart with envy and pity for sweets and greed for them. O corrupted flesh! It is not sweetness that you need, but bitterness, for because of sweetness, the human heart, for which the only source of life is the Lord, falls away from the Lord. How long are we deceived by visible things? How is self-love, pride, dislike for one’s neighbor manifested? In stinging for him everything that is more or less expensive, sweet, pleasant, beautiful, shiny, durable, and in appropriating or allocating to himself everything that is better, more expensive, sweeter, more beautiful, more durable; then - in touchiness, irritability towards him because of every little thing that is contrary to his taste, his rules, because of any even small mistake, malfunction, insult, a sad or unkind look, an unsmooth word, an unfavorable manner, or an unfavorable reception. Love, on the contrary, does not spare anything for its beloved, nothing expensive, nor sweet, nor pleasant, beautiful and shiny to look at, nothing durable, it is ready to give him all the best and itself remain in the worst or with the worst; love is not offended by anything, covers everything, endures everything and never ceases [1 Cor. 13, 4 – 8]. Self-love and pride, envy, greed, stinginess, irritability are signs of a corrupt heart. We wish all the best for ourselves, and the worst for our neighbor, and we pity him on everything that is best among our things. Thus, every day, in ordinary, simple, insignificant things, we violate the commandment to love our neighbor as ourselves, and constantly sin with self-love and pride, envy and stinginess. Meanwhile, our neighbor is a man similar to us in everything, created in the image of God, to whom nature is subordinated, the king of the earth. It’s an amazing thing: when wealth pours into us from everywhere, we willingly and joyfully accept everything, but when our neighbor receives some excess of sweets, money, etc., then it’s a disaster, we regret that we gave too much, that the excess will remain, that they will get rich from us, and we become poor because of the fact that we give to our neighbors, for example, servants, poor relatives, something in excess, for example We regret it if we give the servants an extra piece of sugar, pie, etc., if friends or relatives visit us often to eat and drink with us. Oh, pride and stupid greed! May 31st. I thank You, Lord, for You have strengthened me to overcome anger against my brother Constantine by calling on Your name. When she struggled, embarrassed, oppressed, plunged me into shame and humiliation, I said to myself: hitherto I was stupid, mad, blind - from now on I want to be prudent, sighted, walk in the light of love, and when I firmly said these words to myself, resisting sin and calling on the name of the Lord, cold and blind malice left me. Then I also prayed to the Lord in front of His icon, that He, the Lamb of God, who took away the sins of the world, would grant me the grace to be a gentle lamb, enduring everything graciously, and thank Him for the gift from above, for taking away my anger, for pacifying my heart. Do not allow, Lord, not for a moment that I do the will of Your enemy and mine - the devil, but that I constantly do the will of You alone, my God and King; You are my only true King, by Whom kings reign; grant me to obey You, to revere You always, sincerely and firmly. Come, let us worship our King God, let us work for Him with fear and rejoice in Him with trembling [Ps. 2, 11]. May I not work for various sweets, with which the devil entices me into hating my neighbor, may I not love, may I not spare the flesh and various sweets for my neighbor, but may I love my neighbor and may I throw everything at his feet in his needs. How to look at the gifts of mind, feeling and freedom? We must know God with our minds from the works of His creation, revelation, providence, from human destinies, - with our hearts we must feel the love of God, His heavenly peace, the sweetness of His love, love our neighbor, sympathize with him in joy and in sorrow, in health and sickness, in poverty and wealth, in nobility and low life (humiliation). Use freedom as a means, as an instrument, to do as much good as possible and to improve yourself in every virtue, in order to bring a hundredfold fruit to God. One body, one spirit... [Eph. 4, 4] all saints and all true Christians on earth. Because how conveniently and quickly and truly the prayer of the faithful is heard by the saints in heaven and how trustworthy it is to always pray to the saints! But in order for our prayers to always be conveniently and quickly heard by the saints, we must have with them the same spirit of faith and love for God and neighbor, a spirit of meekness, humility, abstinence, purity and chastity, a cheerful, courageous spirit, thirsty for truth, a spirit of mercy, a heavenly spirit, and not an earthly one. When you needed Brother Constantine, then you loved him, almost called him an angel, and indeed, he was kind, kind, helpful, helpful, and when you no longer needed him, then you began to hate him - is that how love disappears any more [1 Cor 13:8]? Is man really a thing that he can ever be neglected or, to the extent he is needed, valued, and if he is not needed, then neglected? God bless. Then God will neglect you when you neglect people like this. Take care of public goods as if they were your own, and willingly sacrifice your goods for the public. The earth is the Lord's, and its fullness, the world and all who live on it [Ps. 23, 1]. I have nothing. For my sins, I am unworthy of the gifts of God. Away with pride and greed! Insane malice is angry with those who are now being caressed, although before they were for some reason enemies or were tired of something! Despise [...] devilish malice, pride, envy, stinginess. To renounce oneself as a freak, as a monster, as a moral beast, as a father renounces an immoral son, a villain, a murderer, an attacker on the royal honor, etc. Obey every person, be it a sister, a servant, or a beggar, in a good deed as the Lord, for all are members of Christ. Disobedience is from the devil. Always cling to the Lord with all your heart, so that in Him you will always find strength against temptation. Always be zealous for abstinence, so that your heart will always be cheerful and elusive to the enemy. The intemperate conveniently falls into the snare of the devil. Look at the drunk: he is the devil's playground. Gluttony [too]. Consider yourself worse, weaker than everyone in spiritual terms and despise yourself, hate for your sins - this is pious and fair, but be lenient towards others, respect and love others, despite their sins, for the sake of the Lord, who commanded everyone to be honored and loved, and for the sake of the fact that they are in His image, although they bear the wounds of sins, and are members of Jesus Christ. Sometimes, due to the action of the devil and due to health reasons, a person is all ill, all bitterness, irritation, and one touch from a family member, or an acquaintance, or a simple person can produce an outbreak of anger in him. Here we must be able to please a person who is wounded by an internal ulcer, burning and scorching, to be helpful to him, to calm him down as best we can. This happens to me, it happens to others too. The Lord is my all-perfect belly. What else do I need? Does man live by bread alone? And He will send bread to me and to those with me, so that I will always be with Him, like Elijah, like the apostles, martyrs, and saints. The Lord sometimes suddenly sends generous material gifts, for example, a few rubles of money, for the easiest thing and rewards spending made for neighbors, and in general gives us generous gifts of His goodness, so that we do not regret His gifts to those whom He sends to us or allows someone to take our property, given by God, so that they do not quarrel with each other, but live in love and harmony; Yes, even if our neighbors offended us, then we should not become embittered, but should endure the insolence of our neighbors with meekness, entrusting the Lord with retribution for the offense. You know that the Lord allowed Himself to take off even His clothes with meekness and tear His flesh to pieces on the cross for you, so that He might teach you meekness and kindness in all misadventures and insults. God is good and all-good - and you, His image, be good; He is generous to everyone, and you be generous, and avoid stinginess, pity for your neighbor, material, perishable things as the greatest misfortune and madness. Who will separate us from the love of God?.. [Rom. 8, 35]. Malice, conceit, pride, envy, lust, lust, impurity, self-love, stinginess, covetousness strive to separate and do separate from God. If you, strong, strengthened and enlightened by grace, breathe self-love, pride, malice, envy, rebellion and stubbornness, stinginess and covetousness, addiction to clothes, then what can you expect from secular, weak, inexperienced people in spiritual life, people scattered by the vanities of life, from women busy with themselves and their outfits? You must lead by example in everything. Eradicate in me, Lord, earthly love, so that I may be completely imbued with heavenly love, like a burning coal. Remember what the disembodied enemy did to you because of your gluttony at Fort Alexander - you could not say prayers of thanks. God! I thank You that my sinful will is crucified, my pride, that my brother, against my will, comes to me to eat and drink with me. Teach and strengthen me to despise the womb, this despicable womb, because of which Thy commandment was broken in the beginning, O Lord! Where did I get the idea that this and this are mine? Everything is God's. Love does not seek its own [1 Cor 13:5]. The womb and all the trash must be despised, and both should be considered as droppings. Love abstinence and fasting. As for yourself, pray for everyone, diligently, sincerely, firmly. Have peace of mind in prayer. Pronounce all the words clearly, without eating them, fight against negligence, which is ready to skip both of them without any reason - you stand for life, for peace of mind, trying to pronounce all the words. Don't be afraid of demonic fears - they are a dream. What's scary about any officer, general, lady? - Nothing. This is a demonic pouf. Are you afraid of flesh and blood, spiritual and spirit-bearing man? Go for it. God is with you. In the king, respect, honor the King of those who reign, reverently before his person. To omit words during worship means to humiliate the Spirit of God, who inspired them, and the entire universal Church. The Lord created everything for man’s consumption and enjoyment, but man is stingy, sparing God’s gifts to his neighbor as if they were his own. - A grave sin: it’s the same as if I came to the house of a rich and generous person and began to feel sorry for him and remark to him that he is wasting his property with his neighbors, while the owner himself considers it a pleasure and honors himself that his property is used. The Lord rejoices all the more when His gifts are used for good and do not remain idle, for they encourage His infinite goodness, wisdom and omnipotence to produce His gifts again and again for His faithful creatures, and by this His generosity and His goodness are more and more glorified. As you are internally towards others, such are others in relation to you. What are our idols? - Temporary life is a multi-passionate and mortal body and that which is for the body: food, drink, clothing, jewelry, distinctions, money, housing, its decoration, dishes, etc. When the tempter struggles with you with an addiction to visible things, with hope in visible things - bread, money, etc., then firmly raise the eyes of your heart to the invisible and eternal: firstly, to the invisible and eternal God, the source of our life, secondly, to the invisible, endless life, to the eternal bliss of the righteous after temporary life; when it inspires you to seek life in the perishable, you strive with effort to seek life in the incorruptible; when your eyes are riveted on human flesh, in addition to his immortal soul, you especially turn your mental eyes to the human soul, created in the image and likeness of God, redeemed by the sufferings on the cross and the death of the Son of God, made the heir of eternal blessings, adopted by God, the temple of the Holy Spirit, the bride of the Holy Spirit. Avoid the duality of the heart, that is, do not allow it to become double between attachment to God and attachment to earthly things: it is impossible to work for God and mammon - cleave to the one God, place your hope in Him alone, for the devil, inspiring duality, seeks alone to take possession of our heart, which is one and indivisible. And remember that clinging to God is always good and blessed, but clinging to the world and its blessings is evil, painful, sorrowful, oppressed, for clinging to the world is delusion and the spirit of the devil. The Lord cares about us so much that we have absolutely nothing to worry about, to be sad about, that we will eat, drink, what to wear, what to live in, as long as we seek His Kingdom in ourselves and in others and His righteousness, as long as we live according to His commandments. Cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you [1 Pet. 5, 7]. Let us be friendly, generous, and let us not worry about our flesh; let us despise its countless lusts. June 4. Trinity day. Through a beggar boy (a Chukhon whose brother is lame), he was tempted in a terrible way. I gave it to him once - he again caught up with me in another place and began persistently asking for more; I didn’t want to give, he advanced, I reprimanded him with annoyance and angrily threw two kopecks, but the villain entered me and began to torment me terribly and tormented me for a long time, until with intense prayer he came out already halfway through the liturgy and completely - in communion of the Holy Mysteries. Why did this disaster happen? Because of attachment to money, from pride and from dislike for one’s neighbor as for oneself, from contempt for the beggar, from anger at him. From this it is clear that any addiction to perishable goods and the resulting malice towards one’s neighbor comes from the murderer of the devil. One must be ready to give everything away without annoyance and bitterness, calling everything for rubbish. But the Lord Himself will not allow us to be tempted more than we can. Man is a creature before whom everything earthly is rubbish. He is the king and owner of the earth, having received power over everything from God Himself as the image of God. God, the Supreme Lord of everything, gives His blessings to whomever He wants, and takes His blessings from whomever He wants. His will be done. Strengthened by the grace of God, yesterday I destroyed the machinations of the enemy, who inspired me to sing secular songs; these songs were replaced by harmonious and loud praise of the Lord God and the Most Pure Mother of God; The grace of God also destroyed in me my anger (including his) against my brother Constantine through the memory and feeling of the truth of these words of the Holy Scripture: we are many, one body [1 Cor. 10, 17], and: love one another, as I have loved you [Jn. 15, 12], and the memory of our suffering for the sake of the Savior, who shed His blood for us, so that we always live in self-sacrifice of love, and that everything earthly is rubbish. And indeed, my brother is a kind fellow, he comes to me in the simplicity of his heart, and I accept him with slyness, with ulterior thoughts, that he will drink and eat. And everything is rubbish. The end of everything on earth - my body, sweets, clothes, and all treasures - is destruction, decay, disappearance. But the spirit lives forever. May my soul remember this and not be saddened by the loss of the temporary, perishable, but be zealous for the eternal, the imperishable - for God, for the fulfillment of His commandments, for the union of love, for a peaceful state, for patience, abstinence, chastity, non-covetousness (about the single acquisition of the Lord in the heart), self-sacrifice, a cooling of the heart to all the beauties and sweets of the earth, about the search for the one thing needed. About lack of jealousy for those who are crafty and about non-envy for those who create lawlessness. Let them take your rubbish - don’t be jealous, don’t be irritated. When a neighbor visits our apartment, the demon of gluttony and self-love that lives in us resists love for our neighbor for the sake of the belly, but then recoils when we resist it, when we strengthen to love our neighbor as created in the image of God, as identical to us by nature and by faith and hope, as a member in the body of Christ, and when we consider food and drink and money, etc., to be rubbish. The Lord has appropriated us to Himself (oh, the greatest honor and dignity!), and we are alienated by sins from our Master, who gave birth to us by water and Spirit. The Lord most sincerely communes with us through His Flesh and Blood, united with His soul and Divinity, and through passions and vices we commune closely with the enemy of God and ours. Praying with people, we must sometimes with our prayer break through, as it were, the hardest wall of the human soul, petrified by worldly addictions, to go through the darkness of Egypt, the darkness of passions and addictions. This is why it is sometimes difficult to pray. The more simple people you pray with, the easier it is. Having gotten up early in the morning, I don’t want to pray, but as soon as we begin, as soon as we force ourselves a little to sincerely pray, prayer will become more willing, easier, and sweeter; the words of prayer, especially the name of the Lord God, will illuminate the soul and body with life-giving and enlightening fire, like electricity, revive and drive away all laziness. Glory to Thy prayer, O Lord, which Thou hast given to us, glory to all the prayers which Thou hast inspired, O Lord, to our holy fathers, whom Thou hast founded as a light on earth (June 8, 1867). My brothers! Drive away laziness towards prayer at all times and strive in prayer. Prayer, like breathing, is necessary for a person. But pray not according to the prayers you made up, but according to the prayers of the church. June 8, 1867 Thursday of Trinity Sunday. Temptations, sorrows, hardships and many evils have befallen me today. Father Alexander Kolumbov did not come to Matins for a long time, and I undertook to serve in his place. But the heart and tongue turned out to be untenable; the enemy played with me like a toy: I was embarrassed, in a hurry, stammered, did not pronounce many words in some incomprehensible embarrassment, and became irritated. A storm of evil came over me. It takes on doubt and fear, and that’s all. After Matins, he served a prayer service to the Heavenly King, the Lord Jesus Christ, His Most Pure Mother, the Queen of Heaven, the saint of Christ Nicholas and the Great Martyr Theodore. He was also embarrassed and stammered. Then he celebrated mass in the Duma peacefully. After communion of the Holy Mysteries, the Lord instantly revived, pacified, relieved, cheered, pleased, and strengthened me. Glory to His life-giving Mysteries - His Most Pure Body and His Most Pure Blood! The Lord did not completely abandon me. -Why this storm? So guess what. From idleness and partying? For I rode to the northern shore, to the Fox Nose, and there I ate and drank until I was satiated! Those who have sinned against the Lord. Because he took upon himself the money sent by the kind and pious Vladimir Pavlovich Verkhovsky to commemorate the soul of his friend Afanasy Olenich for serving the liturgy? But I didn’t take them for myself. Are it three rubles [Monina] gave me to commemorate the soul of her husband Timofey? But they will have to be distributed. Is it because Father Alexander Kolumbov stood at the royal gates or because Mikhail was with the new clerk Vasily. I served and that their enemies are very fierce? - Don't know. Only I disappeared. In any case, I find it necessary to strengthen the soul by fasting, prayer, reading the Holy Scriptures, meditation or contemplation of God. Otherwise the enemy will steal cruelly. But without Your liturgy, Lord, it is cruel to me. Oh, how human nature is exalted by God: 1) in the very creation in the image and likeness of God and 2) especially in the redemption through the incarnation of the Son of God, for truly what the Holy Church sings on the Feast of the Annunciation has come true and is coming true for people: man is God, and God Adam, that is, humanity, will make 44, or, as David says: Az reh: you are God, and sons of the Most High [Ps. 81, 6]. For the Lady Theotokos is deified primarily and, like a kind of god, exalted above all creation, Cherubim and Seraphim, and then through Her humanity is deified, especially the chosen and faithful, Peter and Paul, James and John and the other apostles are deified, hierarchs, martyrs, saints, unmercenaries, holy fools, all saints, we are deified, unworthy, through Baptism, Confirmation, Communion of the Body and Blood of Christ. Oh, how the Lord has magnified us! But how sublimely, heavenly we should live on earth! How unlike other people of this age our life should be, how holy, how virtuous, so that we may proclaim the virtues of Him who called us out of darkness into His wonderful light [1 Pet. 2, 9]. We must constantly remember our calling and election, our high purpose and move away from worldly addictions and lusts that war on the soul. What songs of praise will I bring to You, Lady? – I will sing with the Church: Hail, all-blessed Mary, for from you the all-blessed God has clothed himself in all of me as a man and, having clothed himself, united him to His Divinity with an ineffable union. Devo Hodegetrie! I am truly deified by you, Most Pure One! You, Bogomati, gave birth to the Godless One. June 9. God! I thank You, for You mercifully and sovereignly quickly delivered me from the bonds of sin in the house of Alexander Dmitriev in the crowded market before the baptism of the baby, when I, bowing my knees before You, heartily cried out to You; then in [M...] Piotrovich’s apartment before reading a prayer to his wife who was in labor (he prayed not to be embarrassed). I thank You, for You always save me, and I always cry out to You for salvation. You are the God of my salvation, not like the tongue of the devil [Ps. 95, 5]. If God had not been on earth in the flesh, had not deified us, had not personally taught us how to live, what to hope for, what to expect, if He had not shown us another, perfect and eternal life, if He had not suffered and died, and having died, had not been resurrected - we would still have some reason to live the way we all live - the most carnal, earthly life. But now we must philosophize on things above and put earthly things into our minds. For everything earthly is nothing compared to what is heavenly. Meanwhile, the devil, the father of lies, contrary to the teachings of the Savior and his spirit, teaches us to cleave to earthly goods and forcibly nails a voluptuous heart to them. The heart naturally seeks bliss - the devil gives the wrong direction to this desire and seduces it with earthly bliss: wealth, honors, sweets, the shine of clothes, furniture, dishes, carriages, gardens, various amusements. How true is the word of the Lord: Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed together, pressed, and running over, will be poured into your lap; For with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you [Lk. 6, 38]. I sent the servant of God, Elder Varvara, and my nephews - the first three, the last - six rubles, and in the evening of that day the Lord sent me through one of His servants, the treasurer Kuvshinnikov, 14 rubles. Marvelous is Your providence, O Lord! Not on another day, but on this very day You sent me Your gift. I lost my umbrella while seeing off this man’s wife, but the umbrella was almost rewarded (it cost 7 rubles). You don't need to be partial to things. Don't rejoice if you find it, don't cry if you lose it. Do not spare sacrifices to God or to your neighbor: otherwise you will either lose some valuable thing, or your health, or the doctor and medicine, or otherwise you will fall into trouble in some way. Everyone in the church and in prayer in general, be equal before the King Lord: king and warrior, military leader and simple warrior, rich and poor, for God has no sight on the face. And let the serving priest consider everyone equal in the church before the Lord, let him not be embarrassed in the face of the strong and noble and rich and wearing light clothes, but let him count nobility and earthly power and earthly wealth as nothing, for indeed, in the essence of the matter, all this is insignificant if it is not combined with faith and piety, and everything, like a dream, will pass away. As elder fathers, brothers and sisters, experienced and perfect in spiritual life, we prayerfully call on the saints of God and, firstly, the Lady Theotokos, secondly, the heavenly powers, thirdly, the apostles, prophets, hierarchs, martyrs, saints and all saints, for they and we are one Church, one spiritual body. It is good to strengthen hearts with grace, and not with food [Heb. 13, 9]. Deeply true and constantly justified by experience. Prayer for Borisoglebsky in particular and in general for the protection of the honor of the priesthood. Miraculously quickly heard and filled by God. In the evening he prayed - the next evening he received a notice that his case was left without consequences. Job, who daily makes a sacrifice for the sins of his sons and daughters, depicts Jesus Christ, who offered Himself alone as a sacrifice for our sins, and the New Testament priests, who daily make sacrifices for the sins of people and have to offer it until the end of the age. Instructive! Touching! The devil catches us with various nets or fishing rods: with a net of pride, doubt, unbelief, enmity, covetousness, love of money, clothing, envy, lust and fornication, absent-mindedness, laziness, false shame, fear and timidity, haste, hypocrisy, deceit, man-pleasing, partiality. He quickly casts all his nets: he didn’t catch one, he immediately launches another, and sooner or later he’ll catch one. - What do you need? Continuous sobriety, prayer, abstinence, almsgiving, external labor. (On the 2nd Sunday after Pentecost.) Completely rely on the providence of God, on the will of the Lord and do not be sad when you lose something from things, in general from the visible, do not rejoice at the gain, but may there be for you the everlasting and only joy, the everlasting and only gain - the Lord. Rely on Him completely - He knows how to lead you comfortably through this life and bring you to Himself in His eternal Kingdom. From the lack of trust in God's providence, many and great sorrows occur, despondency, grumbling, envy, stinginess, love of money, or a passion for accumulating money and property in general, so that there is a lot of it for the summer, to eat, drink, rest, have fun [Ah. 12, 19]; from the lack of trust in providence, in particular, grief occurs, for example, on the occasion of the loss of some income from our oversight, the loss of things, especially valuable and necessary, from the consumption of sweets by our neighbors, and equally immoderate joy when finding some thing or when receiving a large income, or winnings, or a lucrative place, position. We, as Christians, as fellow citizens with the saints and members of God [Eph. 2:19], we will give our whole life to Christ our God with all sorrows and illnesses and sorrows, joys, poverty and contentment. God! Grant me to cleave to You alone with all my heart, for everything is in You. Who is in my heaven? and with You I want nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart faint: God is the rock of my heart and my portion forever [Ps. 72, 25 – 26]. The philosophy of a true Christian: whether you have found or acquired something, consider it as nothing, if you have lost it, also count it as nothing, and never be disturbed in spirit, always abiding in God. Do not have an addiction to anything earthly: neither to sweets, nor to money, nor to furniture, nor to your home, nor to your health itself, for addiction to all this is very often the cause of enmity, hatred of one’s neighbor and falling away from God. For example, a person, even an orphan, often comes to visit and eats and drinks ours; if I have an addiction to sweets, then I am upset with him at least for a minute, and often much more, almost every time he comes to me, whereas I should caress him according to the Christian law, and always treat him kindly, for we are all members of each other, children of Christ, children of the one Heavenly Father, who gives us everything abundantly for pleasure, if only we live in love. I myself later repent of the fact that I did not accept him kindly, not from the bottom of my heart, into my house, that I acted not humanly, not like a Christian, but somehow bestially, although I did not say an offensive word to him, but this bestiality must be trampled upon at the very first moment in which it arises in the soul, and not allow it to rule our heart for a single minute, and for this we must discard all attachment to the flesh and to earthly blessings. We all must recognize and feel like one family, like brothers and sisters of a single Heavenly Father, who loves everyone endlessly and demands from all of us mutual love and consent and communication in earthly and spiritual blessings. The Our Father prayer is our wonderful, ever-present teacher, the teacher of brotherly love and harmony. Let us value each other most of all, and for the sake of love, for the sake of the godlikeness and royal dignity of man, let us not value anything earthly. But all our flesh is greedy, stingy for others - and for what? In order to eat and drink more and more pleasantly, and at the same time to upset your health, get sick and relax in spirit and body. O mad flesh! Seek the Kingdom of God, the Kingdom of Heaven, and not the kingdom of the earth, for whoever wants to live voluptuously, richly, luxuriously, selfishly, without giving to the poor, in entertainment, pleasures, in bliss, seeks the kingdom of the earth and if he does not convert, does not take the path of the Gospel, the path of virtue, the narrow path, then he will lose the Kingdom of Heaven forever. Therefore woe to the rich, to those who add wealth to wealth, and to those who are careless about virtue. Woe to all the proud, merry fellows who live only for their own pleasure! The proud, restless head of Satan constantly plots intrigues against us and incessantly incites us to malice, pride against each other, to envy, stinginess, greed, fornication, disobedience, rudeness, laziness, etc. We must remember this and despise the leader of malice and intrigues and impute nothing to him. And despise your old man. Put on the new. We only call the Lord God, but in reality we have our own gods, because we do not do the will of God, but the will of our flesh and thoughts, the will of our hearts, our passions. Our gods are our flesh, sweets, clothes, money, etc. We constantly forget that man is the image of God, and we constantly sin against the majestic image of God planted in man, against God Himself, who portrayed Himself in man - we insult, despise, become embittered, envy, and feel sorry for him in the worldly blessings common to all. We constantly forget that all earthly blessings are God’s, that they are insignificant dust, that they are transitory; We forget that our fatherland is heaven, an eternal home, eternal peace, eternal joy, and the earth is a place of exile, a place of wandering and sojourn, and therefore we live not as exiles, but as masters, gentlemen, not as strangers and strangers, but as if permanent residents, we want to establish our prosperity here forever, forever. We constantly forget that God provides for everyone, and we are greedy for earthly goods, collecting or wanting to keep them for ourselves through all kinds of lies, without providing for others, sparing others in need. From what can it be clearly seen that we are all members of Christ? – We are one body of many: for we all partake of one bread [1 Cor. 10, 17]... We forget that we are one Church. By insulting the earthly Church in the person of our neighbors, we constantly insult the heavenly Church - with oblivion, coldness, carelessness in our relations towards it, blasphemy, unbelief. Always abound in the work of the Lord [1 Cor. 15, 58]: for example, if you give alms, give from the abundance of your heart, willingly, generously; if a guest comes or comes often, always receive him with the abundance of your heart, willingly, cordially and do not be overcome by pride or envy or stinginess regarding him - from the abundance of your heart let your lips speak to him, from the abundance of your heart treat him, from the abundance of your heart see him off and invite him again, if the guest is not an idle and empty person; If a guest wants to leave or leave you, from the abundance of your heart, stop him from staying for a while longer and do not rejoice in your heart that he is leaving you. This means stinginess and disrespect for the person of your neighbor. If you have offended your neighbor in some way, do not pursue the offense, but immediately, from the abundance of a good heart, pray for the offender, so that the Lord will have mercy on him and not punish him for the offense, for the Lord is a righteous Judge. But the excess of anger must be completely abandoned, in which may the Lord help us. If you have an enemy or just a person who is not favorable to you, for example, rude, unforgiving of your weaknesses, touchy, angry, proud, rebellious, and for this reason you hate him, then you live for yourself, and not for your Lord and benefactor, the Lord Jesus. You are a pagan, not a Christian, you are a self-lover. The old law also prescribed to do good to enemies: if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink [Rom. 12:20], and there were those who did it - will you be self-indulgent in the new grace, with new powers? We who are strong must endure the weaknesses of the powerless and not please ourselves [Rom. 15, 1]. If your sister Anna (by marriage) raves about counts and princes, do not be angry with her for her visible pride. For such a spirit of hers is the fruit of her upbringing: she has a count as her godfather, she has heard a lot from her father and mother, from her brothers and sisters about the life of counts and lived among the count’s family, she studied in an institution among counts and princely daughters, she constantly reads books about counts and princes, about their wealth and luxurious life, about their pleasures and entertainments: is it possible for her to behave differently? When a tree received one direction, and not another direction, in early youth and has now become entrenched in it, how can you correct it? So you should turn a blind eye to your sister-in-law, condescendingly and console yourself with the thought that there are different types of trees, smooth and rough, straight and crooked, dry and damp, dead wood and standing. And you yourself are not a straight tree, but a crooked tree, dry, not damp; Imagining general weakness, if necessary, make peace with the shortcomings of your neighbor, because you yourself are the same: just as others are faulty, so you too are difficult to succumb to the grace of God that corrects you; what you were born with, what you were infected with in your youth, remains in you to this day and is not smoked out, just as you do not try to smoke it out. There is no more terrible and annoying, evil, constant infection than the infection of sin. It was not in vain that the Savior came down from heaven, suffered and died for us: the disaster was enormous, the disease was incurable, the suffering was too great, the present and past were terrible, the future is even more terrible. That is why that person is a true sage, a true saint of God, who has learned to fight against sin with the help of God’s grace and who overcomes the sin living in himself and in others with the help of the same omnipotent grace. That is why the art of doing God’s commandments is the primary art; the noblest, most holy art, the art of conquering sin in oneself and in others, is the first, noblest, most fruitful art. And the one who overcomes is the true servant of God, the saint of God, the chosen one of heaven. To him who overcomes, says the Lord, I will give to sit with Me on My throne, just as I also overcame and sat with My Father on His throne... To him who overcomes I will make him a pillar in the church of My God... To him who overcomes I will give to eat the hidden manna, and I will give him the white stone [Rev. 3, 21; 3, 12; 2, 17]... God! Instill in us kindness, give us the unceasing memory that we are all Your children, and You are our common Father. Teach us to despise all malice and always consider it to be madness, a satanic dream, feces, the fruit of the satanic womb. Teach us to loathe all malice. Teach us Your goodness, Lord! Deliver us, Lord, all of us from the violence of the passions, from tyranny, torment, darkness, humiliation, oppression, and their abomination. Lord, save Your wealth, make you wise, decorate, strengthen Your wealth, Your residence. Teach us, Lord, to consider all evil in people as a satanic infection, a satanic fad, and to have pity on those subject to evil, and to despise only the devil and his angels, who constantly perpetrate intrigues against Your property. Behold, I myself, Lord, in myself constantly see their most evil machinations, I myself am a captive, a slave of theirs often and very often, I myself see their malice, I myself am infected with their malice, their pride, their envy, greed. But have mercy on me, Lord, enlighten me, Lord, cleanse, wash, decorate, strengthen me, Lord! I thank You for the grace of cleansing and peace given at this moment, Lord, who sees these lines, and before them - my heart, from which they flowed. Morning of June 23, 1867 Friday (Vladimir Mother of God). We have an unceasing war, an unceasing feat, but everyone who strives [Russian: ascetic] will abstain from everyone [1 Cor. 9, 25]. Abstinence in food, drink, clothing, speech, pleasure, and entertainment is necessary. Create power with Your arm: squander the proud thoughts of their hearts [Lk. 1, 51]. Create power with Your arm, that is, through the incarnation you reigned over the enemies of our salvation, defeating them sovereignly, and made Your Mother the sovereign Queen of heaven and earth; waste the proud thoughts of their hearts, that is, the devil and his hasty power - the spirits of evil, defeating them on the cross and scattering their hordes. Descend the mighty from the throne, that is, the Lucifer and Satan, who reigned over the human race, and lift up the humble, that is, the Mother of God and all humble Christians; Fill those who hunger with blessings, for example, the Most Pure, Blessed Lady and other saints, and those who are rich let go of their vain [Lk. 1, 53], that is, demons who enriched the abysses of hell with captives - human souls, who were brought to the light of the Kingdom of Christ by the Savior who descended into hell. Most Holy Lady Theotokos (Tikhvinskaya in my front room), I thank You, for You have mercifully interceded for me from the tyranny of passions and confusion into the world, crowding into space, slavery into freedom, darkness into light, shame into boldness of face. June 24, 1867 Saturday. Isn’t my Lord productive, isn’t He the Creator, bringing everything from non-existence into being? Why are you, my enemy, whispering and forcing me with your cramped conditions so that I begrudge my neighbor the gifts of the Lord’s goodness - food, sweet drink, clothing, money? Why are you whispering to me, confusing me, as if I have nothing to live on if I give away my property, food and drink to the poor or guests? No, it will not be that I become poor: with what measure I measure to others, it is measured to me. If necessary, the Lord will create for me everything I need out of nothing: my hope in Him is firm. Only may I walk in His commandments, may I do His will, may I only seek His Kingdom and His righteousness, may I love Him with all my heart more than all creation, more than father and mother, more than all the sweets and reds of the world, and my neighbor as myself. And you, my enemy, always inspire me to feel sorry for my neighbor for earthly blessings for the sake of it, so that I violate the commandment of my Lord about loving my neighbor, but I enmity against him for the very reason why it would be necessary to love him, that is, for the sake of food and drink, for these gifts - the goodness of God has offered us all in abundance, so that we may live in love and fellowship, which is why we say: give us our daily bread today Every man is a lie [Ps. 115, 2 ]; My multi-passionate heart always lies, is proud, envies, is stingy, hostile, greedy, fornicates, strives for intemperance, for delicacy, but does not care about the salvation of the soul, although it is most necessary, although it is priceless, because the Son of God Himself came down from heaven for the salvation of souls, became incarnate, suffered, died and was resurrected. My heart is evil and mad in its malice, blind, ugly! Yesterday at mass it seemed that the watchman put a lot of incense and smoked it - I couldn’t stand it and became embittered with the watchman and served restlessly. Then one woman came to communion - again she became angry that for one she had to say prayers - and could not finish the prayers! Insane anger gets angry at innocent people over trifles! O foolish heart! Oh, heart filled with Satan! For all malice is Satan himself, no matter how plausible it may be covered up. Completely renounce all anger. This is the wisdom of a Christian: not to believe in oneself, to deny oneself, to despise oneself and to believe wholeheartedly in all Divine Revelation, to cleave to it, to value it highly. The fact that those prayers that were previously wise and sweet for us now do not seem wise and sweet depends on demonic pride, on demonic contempt; Previously they read it willingly, but now they read it reluctantly. (Thankful prayer at the thanksgiving service on Sunday, June 25.) Where the snake does not imprison its head! How to be vigilant over your heart! For everything that concerns the dishonor of our neighbor, there is sharpness of vision, and subtle hearing, and some kind of liveliness and joy with which we listen to bad things about him, and as for his glory, for this reason we block our hearing and sight or try to reduce and denigrate his good deeds. When you serve prayer services or perform the Sacraments, and the enemy confuses you with doubts or thoughts of nasty, crafty and blasphemous thoughts, then let your heart trust in the grace of God, in the grace of the priesthood, with which you are invested on the day of your ordination to the priesthood, and let your heart repeat this word: grace, and by grace it will be possible to conveniently defeat all the machinations of the enemy. So it was with me, and I was comfortably able in the power of the fortress of Christ. So conquer all passions: malice, envy, stinginess, greed, gluttony, fornication, laziness and relaxation. If you are the owner of the house, be among the guests yourself as a humble guest and a diligent servant, do not consider anything to be yours, but everything to be God’s, given to you by God. Ask the Lord about this if you do not have this grace, if you have masterly pride, pride and stinginess. Desire and strive with all your might to fulfill the commandments of Christ as the greatest happiness and bliss, and when you fulfill any of His commandments, thank Him with all your heart that He has given you this grace, this happiness to fulfill His commandment: 1) our duty is to fulfill the commandments of the Creator, the commandments of You, the Lord and Judge, and 2) the yoke of His law is good and the fulfillment of His commandments leads to eternal life. Do not be embittered by those who speak abusive words to you, but consider them as wind. If you have the weakness to become embittered, immediately after any heartfelt anger towards those who offend, ask the Lord Himself or the Queen of Heaven, the Mother of God, for kindness, and you will receive this grace. Oh, Luther’s pride and foolishness, due to which he rejected the veneration of holy icons and curses at them, as if they were idols, and worships neither God nor His saints. Oh, the pride of Lutheran pastors, oh, the pride of all Lutherans who senselessly reject the veneration of holy icons. Yes, they never need to shake hands, because their hands do not stretch out to depict the sign of the cross, they do not need to bow, because they do not bow to the icon of the Savior, the Mother of God, the holy Angels, the holy apostles and all the saints. Oh, pride, oh, Luther’s licentiousness, due to which he rejected a celibate or virginal life and fasting, so necessary to pacify the sinful flesh, to curb its sinful impulses! Oh, how wild it is to watch when a German, eating your bread and salt and drinking with you, after dinner does not want to worship the Lord, who satisfies us with His earthly blessings, stands with his back to the icon when others turn their faces to it, and in your eyes swears at icon veneration! Oh, filthy Germans! Oh, heretics, worthy of disgust for their aversion from the veneration of icons, from observing fasts, for alienation from the Holy Tradition and [...] hierarchy, for tearing the unsewn tunic of Christ - His Church, for distorting the faith of Christ, clarified and confirmed by the holy apostles and all Councils! Was Christ divided? [ 1 Cor. 1, 13]. As a priest, as a shepherd, as a father, try to always be faithful to these high titles. In fact, appear everywhere as a priest, shepherd, teacher, father - in the church, in houses and on the streets. Sinful habits become so intensified and rooted in us that without the grace of God it is impossible to overcome, or pull out, or get behind them. Accustoming, for example, to drunkenness or smoking tobacco: they themselves realize that they are doing something bad, that by drinking they greatly harm both spirit and body, but they do not have the strength to overcome the sinful passion and habit. Therefore, we must be forgiving of the weaknesses of our neighbors, not treat them harshly and harshly, but gradually, meekly, prudently, patiently, not condemn anyone, but, remembering our own weaknesses, judge by ourselves and others how difficult it is for us to achieve correction from any shortcoming. The devil or his angels, the spirits of sinful passions, being mostly in our hearts, constantly repeat their sinful lessons to us, whispering them as if they were instilling some important matter or important truth, but in the essence of the matter - lies, slander, abomination, absurdity, madness. That is why we need to constantly repeat the lessons or commandments of the Lord Jesus Christ, not only with our minds, but especially with our deeds, for example, so that we love God with all our hearts and our neighbor as ourselves, so that we are meek and humble, not covetous, not gluttonous, not fornicators, patient, etc., for otherwise the devil, with his lessons and outbursts of sinful passions, will displace the commandments of Christ and the spirit from the heart meekness, kindness, humility, chastity, abstinence, non-covetousness, etc. We must constantly work on cultivating the field of our hearts. The Kingdom of Heaven is taken by force, and those who use force take it away [Matt. 11, 12]. Out of love for your neighbor, willingly allow yourself to self-sacrifice, constrain yourself, for example, in the room, at the table (in food and drink), in clothing, deny yourself peace for a while and worry, work for him; in general, cast aside self-love, restrain the impulses of alarmed selfishness and malice, crucify your self, that is, the old, sinful, corrupted person who has become like the devil, and love yourself in your neighbors, as in a single body. (Today they brought furniture from the Zhukovsky orphans, and I became embittered with them because they embarrassed me and often come to us. They are moving to the dacha. Subsequently, I myself saw that my anger was insane, that I was indignant at innocent people. For out of necessity they brought furniture to me, but they themselves come to us like orphans, for entertainment, for consolation, seeking our sympathy, which is rich in mine household and which I, damned, do not have. By doing good to our neighbors, we do it to ourselves. Forgive my sins, most merciful!) Forgive me, Lord, that I ate meat and butter without extreme need. But You see, Lord, my internal illness, because of which I dare to break my fast. I remember cleansing my malignant blood and malignant juices of the body with dairy food, breaking up the blockages of the stomach. If you walk past a church, think that you yourself are a miraculous, animated church of God. And remember that holiness befits the house of the Lord [Ps. 92, 5], and take utmost care of the holiness of your soul and body. Do not be angry that beggars ask you for alms every day. They, just like you, want to eat and drink every day, but besides you, almost no one gives them anything. We must feel sorry for them and give them our last. Receiving with love monks and nuns, you enter into communion with all the reverend fathers and wives who live on earth and have moved to heaven; By lovingly receiving bishops, priests and deacons and church clergy, you enter into close communion with the priesthood of Christ, with Jesus Christ Himself, whose priesthood they bear upon themselves; By accepting every Christian with love, you again enter into communion with Christ the Savior Himself, of Whose neighbor is a member. The Kingdom of Heaven is taken by force, and those who use force take it away [Matt. 11, 12]. If we do not make daily efforts to conquer the passions that fight us and to acquire the Kingdom of God in our hearts, then the passions will tyrannically take possession of us by force, invading our soul like thieves; addiction to earthly (goods) things will proportionally increase, and faith in heavenly goods, love for them will weaken more and more, love for God and neighbor too, peace of heart, peace of conscience will be less and less frequent. We must strive for the salvation of the soul, which there is nothing more precious in the world; consider everything earthly as rubbish or a ghost, a dream, and everything heavenly, especially the Lord Himself, as the very eternal, most blessed, unchangeable truth. We all love life, we are concerned about a happy life, but our own lives are smoldering in passions. Why? Because we are looking for life in the wrong place. Brethren! Pay attention to your heart, to correcting it. Guard your heart above all else, for from it are the springs of life [Prov. 4, 23]. Let us take care that our entire life does not turn into eating, drinking, dressing, walking and playing, collecting money, building and decorating houses, furniture, dishes, etc. This is paganism, this is completely contrary to the spirit of the Gospel. Set your mind on things above, and not on earthly things [ Col. 3, 2]. Remember your calling, Christians! Where does our Christ sit? - at the right hand of God, in heaven. And you need to think about heaven. Remember that every sin tears us away and separates us from God, and God is our life, outside of Him there is death, and eternal death. Conquer sin. A corrupted and darkened mind and the same heart often doubt the text of church prayers, despise it or do not sympathize with it, however, due to the obsession of Satan, at a certain time, during worship, and at other times, without temptation, they highly respect this text and sympathize with it. What to do when faced with such temptation? Pray more fervently to the Lord and the Most Pure Mother of God for the dispersal of the darkness of the heart and for the granting of help to overcome the stubbornness of the heart and Satan and for the granting [...] of pure meaning and living sympathy for the words of the prayers being read. During the priestly service, have holy boldness before the strong and rich of the earth, considering them as nothing before God, and do your work and say your prayers calmly, deliberately, clearly, from the heart. By God's permission and for our sins, for our failure to correct ourselves, the devil sometimes gives us a hot bath, in which he roasts us not with birch trees, but with fiery whips for our addictions to earthly things, because of our pride and self-love, malice and envy, so that we remember that he has been given some power over us here, as over sinners, his slaves, so that they know under whose dominion they have fallen We constantly fall through sin, so that we see the need for correction, the need for atoning death for us and the crucifixion of our many-passionate flesh. However, after the devil’s bath, the Lord subsequently and on the same day pours out His gracious consolation into our soul, so that our soul is not consumed by much sorrow and so that we can see clearly that He is righteous and merciful, does not do us according to our iniquities and does not reward us according to our sins, punishes according to His strength and has mercy generously. God! I thank You for granting me the grace to pray together with Your people, especially when I myself have an extreme need for prayer. Thank you. Lord, for prayers. I thank You, my mercy, Lord, for you have given me grace during the table to overcome the passion of stinginess, anger towards my neighbor, and you have given me a clear face and heartfelt speech during my meal. I thank Thee, for Thou didst dispel an absurd passion when I inwardly cried out to Thee, directing the eyes of my heart to Thee. Sunday, July 2nd. Twelve o'clock in the evening. If the Lord has given you grace and strength to overcome any sin, passion, to repel the enemy’s attacks, immediately thank the Lord with all your heart for this gift, for it is a great thing to keep your soul undefiled from sin, from passion, and to remain faithful to the Lord, His commandments about love for God and neighbor. Behold, I thank You, Lord, for you cleanse many of my sins and do not allow me to get lost in passions. I thank You, O innumerable Grace! I also thank You, Most Immaculate Lady, for you have always saved me from all evil ones and have always extended Your holy protection to me. In order not to be seduced by the sweets and beauties of this world, constantly remember that they are temporary, momentary, perishable, that your soul is incorruptible, immortal, that it has its own sweets, its own beauties, eternal, spiritual. Remember that the most excellent blessings are prepared for you, in addition to the excellence that they are eternal, that eternal abodes are prepared for you, the eternal beauties and sweets of heavenly life, an ineffable light, intelligent, more excellent than this perishable light. Remember that you are a Christian and a heavenly life on earth is required of you. On June 30, Emperor Alexander Nikolaevich visited us in Kronstadt and in the Cathedral. Listened to a short prayer service. I was pleased. In prayer, the enemy seeks to confuse, oppress and confuse with doubt, laziness of heart, loss of spirit, dislike and aversion to the words of prayer, although they are living truth and sweetness for the soul at other times and at this very time, if you pronounce them with all your heart; at the table - it confuses, crowds, confuses and throws into nonsense, kills the spirit with stinginess, stinging of sweets for those sitting at the table; in dealing with women, he puts bad thoughts into the mind, and unclean desires and lusts into the heart, and again confuses, darkens, oppresses and humiliates the poor soul; when dealing with inferiors and the poor, it puffs up the heart with pride and contempt, with superiors it strikes with cowardice and fear, with equals - with insolence, disrespect, envy - in every case, in all circumstances of life, it opposes us, confuses, oppresses, darkens us, fools us, trying to plunge us into passion, madness, dullness, into the state of an unreasonable animal, so that we are like animals in anger and greed, or horses because of misogyny and pride, or roosters because of arrogance and pugnacity, or pigs because of gluttony and uncleanliness, or dogs because of envy and stinginess - who? what animal? Always highly value and preserve Christian meekness and gentleness, peace and mutual love, suppressing in every possible way impulses of self-love, anger and irritability and embarrassment. Do not be embarrassed or embittered when someone tells you a lie to your face, or expresses some unfair claim, or speaks offensive words, or boldly exposes some weakness or passion in you, the injustice of which you do not notice out of pride. Always think ahead in cold blood about what the enemy is telling you and about your own words and actions, and if, with all the impartial discussion of your words and actions, you find them fair, then calm down in your conscience and impute the words of the enemy to nothing, keeping silent in front of him or calmly, meekly, in a kindness of heart, showing him his untruth; and if you find yourself guilty of what your opponent accuses you of, then, putting aside self-love and pride, ask for an apology for your guilt and try to improve in the future. We often become embittered at straightforward and frank people because they directly expose our untruths. We must value such people and forgive them if they tear down our pride with bold speech. These are doctors in the moral sense, who with a sharp word cut off the rottenness of the heart and, through the awakening of our pride, produce in the soul, deadened by sin, a consciousness of sin and a vital reaction. July 4th. Morning. I thank You, my all-merciful Lady, for You have granted me the grace to lift the eyes of my heart and body to You and cry out to You with faith for my salvation; I thank You, for You saved me from the indignation of passions and gave me peace during morning tea. But save, O Lady, always the property of Your Son and Yours, Most Immaculate! Always take us away from passions, sorrows and troubles and keep us in sanctity. If the Church is entrusted by the Lord with the correction, healing, cleansing of humanity corrupted and defiled by sin, then she alone, of course, can and knows how to do this work, and therefore we must obey her. And you, wise guys, where did you come from, who appointed you to correct, to enlighten humanity? Why are you slandering Mother Holy Church? Why do you contradict and oppose her? The development of secular and material sciences primarily over spiritual sciences is always to the detriment of faith and morality for the simplest reason that people sharpen the carnal mind and dull the spiritual, like a bat whose vision is sharp at night but sees nothing during the day. Only secular, materially educated people are like bats: in the realm of matter they are sharp-sighted, but in the realm of the spirit they are blind, they claim that there is no God, and there is no future life, and future eternal torment, that the word of God is false, unfair, contrary to experience and common sense, and you never know what they are raving about? The development must be harmonious between spiritual science and secular science, and spiritual science must be the guiding principle for secular science. (Is the seeker of wealth far from faith, in speculation, or is he a glutton, a drunkard, etc.?) You say: who knows whether there will be an afterlife or not, whether there will be universal judgment, heavenly bliss and eternal torment - and I will answer you from myself, and in the word of God, and on the basis of nature and reason: all this will happen; those in the tombs will hear the voice of the Son of God; and those who have done good will come forth into the resurrection of life, and those who have done evil into the resurrection of condemnation [Jn. 5, 28 – 29], or: and these will go away into eternal torment, but the righteous into eternal life [Matt. 25, 46]. You ask: how can this be proven? If you are looking for evidence from nature and reason, bypassing the Holy Scripture, the evidence of which is higher than reason and nature, then here is proof from nature: in nature, nothing, strictly speaking, dies: if you throw a seed into the ground, it dies for a while, but then it comes to life and gives birth to new seeds; the grass dies in autumn and winter, but its root remains intact, and new beautiful grass grows from it next spring; tree leaves fall in the fall and are used to fertilize the earth, but next spring the tree is again covered with the same leaves; or: you cut down a tree - a new shoot comes from this tree, a new young tree, and thus [it] resurrects again. Further: we see that all nature bears its fruits: birds, fish, domestic animals, animals, trees, cereals - their fruits go to serve, for human use. But man himself was created in such a way that he would bring to his Creator the fruits of a virtuous and holy life, so that otherwise the life of man, a rationally free being, endowed with the greatest powers and abilities for moral improvement and self-enjoyment, is unthinkable, and his fruits, as a spiritual and immortal being, must live forever, in turn bringing the fruits of eternal joy and bliss. How can I reject the moral law and say that man should live only for the pleasures of this temporary life, that he was not created for eternal bliss, that he was not created in order to bring God the Creator the fruits of a virtuous life? – No, everything on earth bears fruit for you, and you must bear fruit for the Creator by doing His commandments, purifying and sanctifying your soul, loving Him and your neighbor. Further: all earthly creation rejoices and rejoices, expresses its joy in different images, an unreasonable creature - did the all-blessed God create only for despondency, for suffering and for the torment of man, a spiritual, rational, free being, created in the image and likeness of God and redeemed by the blood of the Son of God? No, he created precisely for bliss, but the sin of free will, the sin of pride, disobedience to the Creator deprived us of this bliss, and the path of sorrows, illnesses, and suffering should lead us to new bliss, as righteous retribution for sin and as a cleansing fire. This is why it is said: through many tribulations we must enter the Kingdom of God [Acts. 14, 22]. For the same reason, that is, because of sin, unrepentant sinners will suffer forever, because they left sins in their souls - the cause of torment, because they did not seek a cleansing sacrifice for sins, that is, the blood of the Son of God, which alone can cleanse every sin and bring peace, joy, and bliss into the soul. Here is my answer to you, fellow questioner and man of little faith! Man is a creature sick in spirit, sick with sin, passions; only one Heavenly Physician, Jesus Christ, with the good will of the Father, with the assistance of the Holy Spirit, can heal him, created in His image and likeness, and He found a means to correct and save him, namely the Sacraments: Baptism, Confirmation, Repentance, Communion, Holy Marriage, Blessing of Anointing, preaching the word of God, spiritual management and guidance. All these Sacraments were handed down from the Lord and the Apostles of His Church, and for their performance, sacred performers were established - hierarchs and priests, endowed with grace, authority and power from above, and all people are obliged, in the name of their salvation, their eternal life, in the name of God the Savior, to diligently obey the Church, accept the Sacraments, obey the clergy leaders as the apostles themselves, as well as church statutes and various institutions, for otherwise healing is impossible. and the salvation of the spiritually sick. And how many meanwhile neglect the divinely established medical clinic - the Church, spiritual authority, the Sacraments, worship, and the preaching of the word of God! What will happen to them? Worse than the pagans, and perhaps worse than Sodom and Gomorrah, the Tyrians and Sidonians. I thank you, Lord, for through my prayer you saved me from the ethereal enemy, who struck me with his hellish anger against my sister Anna and my wife Elizabeth in the apartment of the reader Alexander, who fell ill with delirium tremens. Why doesn't he stutter, damned one? Now with malice, now with stinginess, now with fornication, now with gluttony and greed, now with laziness, now with sickness and relaxation. I was strongly scorched and the anger of hell fell upon me, but intense prayer, a strong cry to the Lord saved me, and especially the immeasurable mercy of the Lord. You need to carry your family in your arms, as they say, and spare nothing, do not spare anything for them, because because of them you have the place, and all the support, and in some way all the advantages, because without them you probably would not be in this place. Everything earthly, and the body itself, will go from the earth and into the earth, but the soul - the image of God - is immortal and will return to God to give an account of its life on earth and receive reward for good and evil. Therefore, everything earthly must be despised, considered as dust, and devoted to the soul, the immortal thing. The evil one attaches our heart to different things: now to cow butter, now to vegetable oil, now to sugar, now to pies, now to various sweets, now to clothes, now to money, now to various things - and he cruelly leads us by the nose. And rightly so: do not cleave to earthly blessings, temporary and perishable, when you are called to the inheritance of eternal blessings, surpassing every word, every description. Our passions are like those mentioned in the Gospel, possessed by demons, fiercely fierce, coming from the grave [Matt. 8, 28]. Until now, the enemy has deprived me of peace with myself, with God and with my neighbors through addiction to sweets, money, clothes, various things - this dust. What kind of madness is it that I have previously valued all this so highly, this rubbish, these rattles, these children’s toys, that I have always neglected and insulted the spiritual, priceless world, my priceless, immortal soul? From now on, let me trample on everything - the lying, proud, dark head of the morning star in the power of the fortress of my Lord Jesus Christ with the assistance of the Mother of God. May I be a good husband, meek, humble, kind, selfless, and self-controlled. May I have only one self-interest - the salvation of human souls. God! Teach me abstinence and fasting. Enlighten, teach, strengthen. God! Grant me the wisdom and happiness to philosophize above, and not earthly, not about what is for the belly and for the body, but especially what is for the soul: how, for example, to get rid of passions, to succeed in every virtue, especially in love for You and your neighbor, in meekness, humility, non-covetousness, patience, obedience, etc. O Master Lord! Give me this happiness. Question for a learned or semi-learned Christian: do you know that book that always lies on the altar in church? Another question: what does the cross, lying on the throne and brought out for blessing and kissing, constantly teach? What is the idea of ​​Christianity and do you constantly keep it in mind? And the Holy Mysteries among the Lutherans and [Reformants] are performed by who knows who and who knows how: everything is illegal, not according to the apostolic and paternal tradition. Just as do not be partial to the fragrance of plants or a great lover, so do not be impatient with the stench of animals or plants, but be indifferent to everything on earth, that is, do not attach your heart and do not be too averse to the unpleasant, for sometimes stench is necessary for our pampered and voluptuous nature, corrupted by sin. She herself constantly stinks of passions, but seeks fragrances in nature and is passionate about fragrances. In retribution for the sin of our stinking flesh - the stink of it is more for humility. When, after mass, you are called to a rich person’s christening or to a prayer service, you rush with pleasure, especially if you are anticipating a pie, and if a poor person calls to baptize a baby in church after mass or to also give a prayer, you become angry and irritated. Reluctantly, as if you were doing things under pressure, carelessly, with sin. Why not baptize after mass with the same joy as going to dinner, for this is a true holiday of faith - the baptism of an infant or a person in general: here a person is given a new birth, rebirth 45, sonhood. And in general, conversation with God and service to humanity is a great happiness that has no higher on earth. How do we run away from this happiness? Why don't we want to practice it all day? Why don’t we forget about food and drink for this sweet conversation with the Creator? We are vain people. If your servant secretly steals food from you, do not worry about it and do not be tormented by suspicion: God Himself will reveal it, or God will reward you in abundance, tenfold and a hundredfold, in a manner unnoticeable to you. So not only will your wealth never become scarce, but it will also increase. And you know, look and hold on Kingdom of God, love for God and neighbor, and beware lest you offend someone with your suspicion, your look, thought, word or deed. It is better a hundred times to be offended than to be offended, and therefore be calm when you are offended. Remember that you received everything, give it back, don’t chase after property. The enemy's addiction to clean vestments confuses you just as much as he does to ordinary clothes and sweets. (The venerable fathers served in dyed vestments 46.) Leave his dreams, do not trust your heart, passionate about external decorations, pay all attention to inner beauty. All glory to the queen's daughter within [Ps. 44, 14]. Our soul is the daughter of the Heavenly King. The great Elijah the Tishbite prophet walked in mantle 47. Sergius the Great and Zosima and Savvaty of Solovetsky wore coarse vestments - but they were great souls, for there was no external charm. Keep in mind the inner clothing of Christ - goodness, meekness, gentleness, humility, heavenly wisdom, self-control, holiness, patience, etc. Man is a living image of the Lord God, the king of the earth. Oh, with what respect one must always look at a person, especially a pious one, with what zeal to correct the wicked, with what meekness and kindness to admonish the sinner, with what readiness and willingness to give to those who need what is necessary for life! With what patience do you show mercy and forgive the offender! What insignificant rubbish all earthly things are - but how much they seduce sight, taste, hearing, smell and touch! How we are seduced by money, and sweets, and clothing, and a temporary home, and its decoration, so that often, often for these trinkets we sell our neighbor, created in the image of God and redeemed from eternal death by the priceless blood of the Son of God! Because of these trinkets, we are proud, embittered and hostile, envious, we oppress our hearts in front of the poor, we become hard-hearted, like beasts or stones, we defile our members, which are the members of Christ, we indulge in excess, intemperance, luxury, carnality, laziness, absent-mindedness! I do not have real, complete devotion to the Lord and complete faith that in front of some people, especially the wise and noble of this age, I am embarrassed when reading prayers. Bad. God! Fix my heart! May I be entirely in You and may I direct everyone to You when I pronounce Your holy name and read the words of prayer. Don't you have a habit of scolding and angrily throwing soulless things? This is God, and this is the earth, that is, everything earthly, be it the most brilliant and precious, the most beautiful, the most pleasant and sweet; everything is perishable, but God is the eternal belly, the most perfect belly, which is completely given to you in the life-giving Mysteries. Why do you cling to earthly things? We are all masters and hunters of chasing after the temporary, perishable, insignificant and indifferent to the eternal, incorruptible, immortal blessings that God has prepared for those who love Him. Isn't it true? The faces of the holy saints, as citizens of heaven, teach us to despise earthly things and strive for the heavenly eternal patronymic and imitate their morals, their virtues. More often, parents, point your children to the faces of the holy saints and say: their faces are here, and they live there, in heaven (the Heavenly Father expects [us] there too), although they are also present with us here. And they were, just like us, people, but they left earthly vanity and loved God with all their hearts, and the Lord made them heirs of His Kingdom. Why don’t you cordially, not from the heart, greet those to whom you, due to the whim of your heart, are not disposed or due to their disinclination, lack of piety? Conquer your evil heart and these people with good [Rom. 12, 21]. I thank You, wonderful Lord in mercy, for again and again You have had mercy on me, who bowed my knees before Your most pure image (in my prayer room). Respect with all your heart the dignity of man as the image of God and a member of Christ, as yourself, and be forgiving, be patient with his infirmities, cover them with love, as you wish for yourself from others. Give me, Lord, the grace to trample on the proud and evil head of the devil, who constantly acts within me, and not to be lost by his excuses, not to lose heart. You'd give the whole world for a man, and that's not enough. So dear is his soul! For bodily eyes - the sun, for spiritual ones - God. Look unceasingly to the Lord. Oh, how often and clearly You save me, Lord, both in church and at home through my inner prayer. I thank You, my belly, my Savior, my Provider, my Father! Eternal God and King of every creation! 48 Everything on earth is subject to decay, like earthly, elemental things, except for the human soul, which is eternal, as having come from the breath of the eternal; therefore everything earthly is insignificant, one soul is priceless. What Christian view should one cast on civil history, on events, on peoples and kingdoms? To what end should she be led in a Christian school? What direction should we give to all sciences? Judge the weaknesses and passions of another by your own weaknesses and passions; Based on the difficulty for you to leave, eradicate this or that passion, weakness, judge the difficulty for another to get rid of the weakness or passion that is holding him, and as you wish for yourself to be lenient, so be lenient towards others. Let us suppose that under certain circumstances a passion of pride has arisen in you. Your neighbor, as a result of similar circumstances, has developed the same passion, and just as you are powerless to overcome this passion on your own, so is your neighbor. You make great efforts and cannot not only eradicate it, but even weaken it, and so does he. You are a slave - and he is a slave, you are in trouble - and he is in trouble. Just as you seek leniency for yourself, so be condescending to someone else who is possessed by passion. We are all sick. It is not the healthy who need a physician, but the sick [Matt. 9, 12]. As spiritually sick people, we use spiritual medicines: Baptism, Confirmation, especially Repentance and Communion and Blessing of Anointing. Doctor - Church. The doctor is the Lord Jesus Christ together with the Father and the Holy Spirit. If you love a person, then you love God, because man is the image of God, and if you do not love a person, then you do not love God. He who does not love his brother [1 Jn. 3, 14]... To love your brother too. If someone is unkind to you, then be kind, have a kind, noble heart, overcome evil with good [Rom. 12:21] - and good will happen to you, and you will be a true disciple of Christ. If you love those who love you, what will be your reward? Don't publicans do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what special thing are you doing? Don't the pagans do the same? [Matt. 5, 46 – 47]. Demonic and human madness must be broken by Christian wisdom and pride and malice - by meekness and humility and gentleness. I am decisively the only reason for my sister Anna’s occasional dislike towards me, for as soon as I leave my dislike and hatred towards her by the grace of God, she immediately becomes affectionate towards me. So, let us blame ourselves if they don’t love us. I am guilty of excessive love for myself, for my old man, whom I myself should have been the first to trample and despise. O self-love, self-love! How much daily, incessant sin is caused by you! Another said - I’m offended, I stepped on him, I touched him - I’m offended: I take everything personally, I consider everything an insult to myself. The holy passion-bearer of Christ said to the tormentors: “[...] cut off my body with a sword and burn it with fire, for I go rejoicing to Christ, my Bridegroom.” Such was her spirit, so sublime - and how we cherish our flesh! How we spare - for sin! There are storms in material nature, and there are storms in our spiritual nature. We must stand on the rock of faith in Christ, pray and not lose heart. Hatred and malice, and pride and envy and other passions are the old song that the fallen star sings in us: he sang it in Adam and Eve, Cain, Lamech, etc. Is not the Lord my sweetness? Why am I wounded by the love of earthly sweets? Am I clinging to the rubbish or the dust? Oh, madman! Isn’t love for God and neighbor, the image of God, true sweetness? Why get carried away by carnal sweetness? Remember this great truth that everything we eat, drink, wear, all things are from the earth, and our very body and everything will go into the earth and become the same earth again. So, despise everything like dust and use it only for need, and strive with all your might for the soul, the immortal being, for fulfilling the commandments of God. Due to the action of the enemy, respect for the people with whom we live, often see each other, who depend on us, is weakened, as well as for prayers, often used, the spirit of which we have not thoroughly entered into. I know the Lord’s Prayer, Our Father, and I don’t know. I know with my mind, with my memory, but I don’t know with my heart, in reality. I know the Ten Commandments and I don’t know them: I know them in memory, in my mind, but I don’t know them in my heart, in my deeds; I know I believe with my mind and memory, but not always with my heart and deeds. And therefore I must always repeat the Lord’s Prayer, the commandments, and the Faith, repeat it in my heart and in my deeds. The spirit of love, addiction to earthly things is a pagan, demonic, false, deadening spirit, and the spirit of love for God, for the soul, for heavenly, spiritual, incorruptible goods, for faith, for the Church, for the word of God, for prayers, for the Sacraments of faith, for the saints of God, for Angels and holy people - the Christian, God, true, life-giving spirit. Addiction to food, drink, ostentation in clothing and decoration of home and table is a demonic spirit. Neglect of all this and contentment with the small and simple is the Divine, Christian spirit. The spirit of malice, vindictiveness, envy, stinginess, covetousness, self-will, stubbornness, covetousness, selfishness, pride and ambition - the spirit of demons. The spirit of goodness, patience, kindness, meekness, goodwill, generosity, non-covetousness, renunciation of one's will, obedience to the authorities and statutes of the Lord, humility, self-sacrifice - the spirit of God, Christian, heavenly. One-sidedness of secular and military people, ignorance of faith, underdevelopment of the heart, lack of faith. All authorities have been established by God for our good: to respect without fail and willingly all authority, higher and lower, and to diligently wish it every good success. Looking at the faces of God’s saints, remember how human nature is exalted by God, how adorned, purified, whitened, and enlightened by the blood of the Lamb, that you, by the grace of God, can achieve the same state as the saints, and imitate their wisdom. Do you, man, become attached to shiny shards of silver and gold, forgetting your Creator, in whose image you were created, the spirituality and immortality of your soul and the perishability of all things and the body itself and all its members: sight, hearing, taste and other things? Eternal by nature, love the eternal. Remember that any attachment of the soul to earthly things is a stench, an unbearable stench for your Lord, and beware of this attachment of malice, envy, disobedience, laziness, and impatience as well. The ascension to heaven of the holy prophet Elijah is an image of an active ascent to heaven by virtues, like a chariot of fire and horses of fire (burning faith, hope and fiery love). We need to resist the devil, but we resist each other out of the devil’s deception and out of our own pride. We must deny ourselves, and when the enemy incites us to resist our neighbor or become embittered towards him, to be proud, to magnify ourselves before him, to envy him, we will blow and spit on the devil and say to him: I deny you, Satan, and all your deeds, and all your angels (the angel of malice, stinginess, drunkenness, delicacy, clothing insanity, various carnal joys), and all service yours, and all your pride, and we will love each other, more than the Lord God. Let us not respond to pride with pride, but with humility, to anger - with affection, meekness, kindness, to envy - with goodwill, to incitement to envy - with goodwill, to stinginess - with generosity (to incitement to stinginess - with generosity), to incitement to rebellion - with humility, to incitement to fornication - with love and chastity, to incitement to intemperance - by abstinence and fasting, to incite despondency - with cheerfulness, to incite laziness - by hard work, etc. Let us continually be disciples of our Lord and Savior (inciting irritability with patience, inciting fear with courage, inciting pride with humility, and inciting anger with goodness). Sister Annushka serves as a link in the world for us: she perfectly resists my pride, irritable, offensive nature, behaves with the consciousness of her dignity and, for the benefit of me and her and my wife, does not allow herself to be stepped on. When will you despise the womb? Because of him there is so much anger, pride, pride, envy, resentment, stinginess, savagery, embarrassment. We must remember the common weakness and be forgiving, patient with everyone, serve with love to everyone, remember the greatness of man as the image of God and for the sake of the image of God, the immortal soul, respect him without fail; if he falls into a sin, correct it with a spirit of meekness. Consider everything earthly as rubbish. Resist the flaming arrows of the evil one firmly in the might of the fortress of the Lord. Vasily Ivanovich Petrov, when meeting me, gave me an excellent sermon, as if he knew my state of mind. The speech began with the late sexton Alexander Arsenyevich Lavrov on the occasion of his death from intemperance in food and drink, about the abundance of juices and blood that occur from here, about stress on the head and [ghosts], about abstinence and diet, as a means of saving oneself from this, about mustard, about bleeding, about the need for fasting, fervent prayer with bows, about contentment with little things, simple meal, about the need for mutual agreement. A wise man and a Christian - Vasily Ivanovich. God save him. God! I thank You with all my heart for the gift of abundant tears of repentance, which You gave me during the all-night vigil from July 22 to 23, on the day when I spoke about the benefits and necessity of tears in my word; I thank You for the cleansing of my sins, for the sweetness of prayer, for heavenly peace, for the very prayer of faith, for the fervor of prayer. (During mass that day, I felt complete dryness, coldness, double-mindedness, powerlessness of heart, even during the sermon itself.) Marvelous deeds! Sometimes you can’t get tears, other times - tenderness is soon born and tears flow like a river. God! I thank You for the sweet hospitality that You granted me to extend to the wandering officer from St. Petersburg. Look, man, the Last Judgment will decide your fate for all eternity. Are you preparing to give a good answer at this Judgment or are you being careless and not preparing? We must think about this last Judgment morning and evening, day and night, standing and sitting, walking and lying down. You need to cry about sins more often, have fun as little as possible. Kiss your superiors, your high and low benefactors, your fathers, your friends. Have mercy on their weaknesses, they are not gods - limited, sinful, weak. Pray for them. Be true to the idea of ​​being a priest, a father and a shepherd everywhere. Beware of malice in every possible way, for this is the absurdity of absurdities, the madness of any madness, the craziest that could be generated by the angel of light who fell from God, who became darkness and the culprit of all moral darkness. The Word of God, the word of the Mother Church, instructed by the Holy Spirit, is dearer to me than the words of all the wise men of the world, all the kings of the earth, all the mighty of this world. I endure the machinations that come from the spirit of malice - so speak to yourself when the devil torments you with some passion, misfortune, illness, despondency, incitement to sin, etc., and do not be impatient and cowardly, do not get angry while enduring the machinations. The Lord sees our hearts, the barrenness of our hearts, our malice, our various passions, and punishes us with a downpour of rain, for we are drowned in sins. By the mercy of God, by the grace of my Lord, I want to rebuke my old man in everything, in all his wickedness, so that he will not remain wise in anything before himself and will not be able to break him, weaken him, over me, over the new man. Lord, help me! Empty worries about food and drink, about the shine and spaciousness of clothes, although sacred, vessels paralyze the soul, humiliate the Lord and neighbor, arouse enmity against God and neighbor, plunge our soul into sorrow, crampedness, darkness, madness, humiliation, make it a slave, a captive of the devil. Oh, how we, sinners, have become fussy! We think all about material decorations, about mammon, about external splendor, about sweets for the flesh, and not about the internal decoration of the soul, not about spiritual sweetness! We want the vestments to be shiny, for the paten to be big, wide, shiny (although a little is enough, just enough), and when they don’t give us this, we are indignant, lose our temper, become embittered, become indignant at prayer itself, the enemy steals the prayer, tears the soul away from God through addiction to corruptible things and through anger at our neighbor. Human! Pay all your attention to the internal: it is eternal, but the material is decay. The Lord God, the all-perfect life, gave us all of Himself in the life-giving Mysteries - what more could we wish for? Let’s give up on everything material. He will attach everything, send it, give it to you. Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you [Matt. 6, 33J. How can you not understand that I did not tell you about bread [Matt. 16, 11]. Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink [Matt. 6, 25]. Do you not remember how you broke five loaves or seven loaves? And how many purses did you take? Do you still have a hardened heart? [Mk. 8, 19 – 21]. So, perfect life, Lord, abide with me and in me forever. God! Take away from me the insolent, flattering spirits that constantly inspire concern and sorrow for [me] about shiny clothes and vessels and tear me away from You. See, O priest, you must be all heavenly in all your life and a trustee for the salvation of human souls and a devil of guardians for earthly things, for it will all be added to you from the All-Creator and Provider. Air changes have a very strong effect on the satiated person, but on the abstinent person they either have no effect or very little effect. And the rain fell, and the rivers overflowed, and the winds blew, and rushed against that house [Matt. 7, 25]. When it rains or before it rains, it can be very hard on the soul and body, and temptations intensify. With the clouds and rains, many give up their souls. During divine services and throughout our lives, the enemy constantly prevents us from thinking on high calmly, freely, clearly, languishing with worldly wisdom, desire for worldly things, laziness, inertia, and relaxation. But the goal of the Christian faith and our life is to philosophize about things above and to strive for things above and to despise things below. Why are the icons of saints placed at the top? A reminder of our desire for things above and that they flew to the mountain (on the wings of fasting, prayer, mercy, etc.) Behind the satisfaction of all the needs of the rich, there are many whims, which very often haunt them and give rise to various passions - hatred, envy, pride, zeal and grumpiness, stinginess or extravagance and revelry. In appearance, someone else seems to be happy, but if anyone saw what was inside him, he would find him unhappy, because he is consumed by discontent and extensive desires, addictions, rivalries, etc. But if he were satisfied with his position, he would be prosperous and calm. Therefore, for the satisfaction of basic needs - shelter, food, drink, simple and decent clothing, be satisfied and thank the Lord, and leave everything else to the will of God. The main thing is to save your soul, love God and your neighbor. You would not torment yourself with suspicions that your servants are stealing bread, for you have always been and [are] well-fed, but would seek the Kingdom of God and its righteousness, philosophize on high, save your soul and the souls of your neighbors, of whom there is nothing higher, more precious in the world, consider everything earthly, according to Christian wisdom, as rubbish and not chase after the loss of rubbish, as well as its profit, but would place all your trust in God Nourisher, Mannodiver. After all, you were [and are] always fed, clothed, and have shelter? Why are you worried about the fact that you have given a lot to the poor or that your homemade bread is being stolen? Or is it because there is nothing to do and this is a matter of suspecting others? How much and how much do you get for free? Don’t you worry about this and your conscience won’t bother you, your heart won’t hurt? The word of the Lord is deeply true: give, and it will be given to you [Lk. 6, 38]. How many times has it happened to me that on the very day when you give especially generous alms, there is a generous reward from the Lord! Glory, O Lord, to the truth of Your words. During public and domestic prayer, do not let go for a moment from your memory and from the eyes of your hearts the Lord God, before Whom we stand, and we will not be embarrassed, we will not stumble. Have no predilection for harmonious singing, but sometimes be content with rough and discordant singing. There are many who, due to their passion for harmonic singing, do not go to church simply so as not to hear the rude or dissonant singing of the sexton. They forget that harmony in church singing is something external and that one must delve into the meaning and spirit of singing and worship. They say: priests carelessly perform divine services and the Sacraments and the requirements are different due to the monotony of these services! Strange reason! Why don’t we miss looking at the light, at the sky, at gold, silver, precious stones, beautiful things, dressing in shiny clothes, or breathing the air, or eating and drinking, or receiving the same money, no matter how much it is given? After all, it seems that everything is monotonous! And the worship service! And the Sacraments, and the Gospel, and the writings of the Holy Fathers! Yes, how much depth, wisdom, peace, strength, light, and all goodness they contain! And how can you miss them! How to get used to arrogance! - From a lack of meaning and reasoning, from being carried away by worldly passions! It’s good when visiting, but better at home: on earth, the place of arrival, it’s good, at least sometimes for many, but at home - in heaven, with the Heavenly Father - it’s better beyond all comparison: eye has not seen, and ear has not heard, and the heart of man has not sighed, what God has prepared for those who love Him [1 Cor. 2, 9]. Guests come or come to us (or we are visiting) - we kindly receive and treat them, we talk with them and they with us, but everything in their hearts is how to go home, everything is in their thoughts about home, and they do not think of staying as guests forever; or when we visit someone, we don’t think that we are at home and that we should stay here forever, but we think about home and about returning home. So we, Christians, are not permanent residents here on earth, but guests, wanderers and strangers, and we must always think about returning to our fatherland, and not get used to the idea that this is our fatherland, for this is false and very harmful regarding our success in spiritual life and preparation for eternity, because each of us must collect here a stock of good deeds or increase the talents given to us by the all-good God, or stock up on oil alms. We see and hear that some play a musical instrument beautifully, extracting from it a wonderful harmony that is pleasing to the ear and joyful to the heart. Thus, our soul must always produce before God a harmonious harmony of thoughts, feelings and actions, pleasing to God, and not a disharmony of passions and varied sins, tearing apart the soul and worthy of all disgust and punishment from God. Our spiritual powers must always be in agreement with the law of God, with the will of God, we must all live in mutual love and harmony, and from the many individuals of the human race, like different strings or keys, one harmonious, integral composition of the human race, one Kingdom of God, one Church, one body, one herd must be formed. Do not pursue the wickedness of your family, but despise this wickedness as the offspring of the evil one, and have pity on them, endure their deceit with meekness and kindness, and inwardly pray to God for them, so that He Himself will enlighten them and guide them. Do not be wicked, proud, jealous, envious, greedy and stingy. Then show kindness, when you see the malice of others rushing against you, then show simplicity, when you see cunning and deceit, then show simplicity, generosity and impartiality, when you see that others are taking your property, for the earth is the Lord, and its fulfillment, the universe and all who live on it [Ps. 23, I]. Then maintain love and a friendly disposition towards your brother when you see his enmity towards you. This will be active Christianity. But be careful not to notice hostility or deceit where there is none at all. Be simple-hearted, like a child. May the grace of Christ always prevail, and not the malice of the devil or the wickedness of man. Hey, amen. I thank You, Lord Jesus Christ, my God, for through my intense and repeated prayer you transformed the enmity that had occurred into goodwill and confusion and oppression into peace and space of the soul. Glory to Your goodness, glory to Your wisdom, glory to Your power! But most of all I glorify the gift of Your grace, given to my lasciviousness when I fell at the throne of Your grace in the cemetery church, then You completely pacified me and illuminated Your face on Your servant. Eating and drinking too much, eating and drinking too much, or dressing smarter, in accordance with fashion, allowing yourself different whims in different household vendas - it seems to you nothing, a matter of little importance, but this is what separates you from the Lord, this is what makes you slaves of the enemy of God and yours. In order to be closely united with the Lord, one must be above excesses in food and drink and delicacies, above predilections for clothes, furniture, dishes, and pay little attention to this rubbish, which is necessary, however, for a while, but for a short time. An addiction to everyday things little by little forms an earthly, spiritual, and demonic disposition of spirit. You need to philosophize on heaven, to be above earthly and material desires. You are carried away by passions, live viciously and say: I cannot live virtuously. - You're lying. You don’t want to pray, to ask yourself for God’s gracious help, otherwise you wouldn’t be carried away by coarse passions; in prayer you would receive help to defeat them. Pray: From my youth... but intercede and save me Yourself, my Savior! 50 July 26. I thank You, Lord, for even on this day You began to save me: for in the early morning You healed me, wounded by sin, and when I did not have peace from my face, You gave me peace. Now I thank you for the gift of morning prayer. The Lord is my eternal sweetness: what earthly momentary sweetness will seduce me or what earthly sweetness will I value? The Lord is my intercessor - who can harm me if I do not harm myself with some sin? Sin is who my offender is, not man; It is a sin to offend anyone, and a person often just doesn’t see it, doesn’t understand it, because sin is very evil. The Lord is my most perfect and pure and eternal beauty! What earthly beauty of persons or things will seduce me? They are all dark. The Lord is my eternal glory: what earthly glory can compare with it? For all the glory of man is like the flower of grass [Isa. 40, 6]. I thirst for the glory of God, not human glory, and I do not want to humiliate my immortal spirit, created in the image and likeness of God, by seeking vain human glory. Anna Konstantinovna is a kind and generous girl, she proved this at Fox Nose: she herself did not drink a glass of excellent milk, but gave me, like brother Konstantin, good jam at dinner. She didn’t eat it herself, but she put her brother in it. It is good to travel and visit in order to see from experience how others receive guests, treat them, satisfy them, so that this example can be a lesson for ourselves on how we should receive guests, for many of us do not know how to receive them, receiving them coldly, unsympathetically, not cordially or with annoyance and displeasure, especially frequent guests, and humiliate a person’s personality. And therefore it is good to go on a visit, because this is a matter of Christian sociability (if only there is such a thing) and that with this sociability we learn from each other, we borrow from each other good qualities, noticing and collecting spiritual treasures, for on our own we are poor and weak, ignorant and unskilled not only in Christian, but also in universal human life. But nothing is more conducive to virtue than good, living examples. A dear creature, such as man, it is proper to treat dear ones, not those of little value, and consider everything dear as insignificant; when it is necessary for a person, everything should be cast at his feet. The things consumed will soon become scarce, you say, and God be with him. According to the proverb: once you eat it, your teeth are on the shelf. Don’t bother too much about the multi-passionate flesh - it’s not worth it. Take care of your soul, its peace, the preservation of love, respect for your neighbor, meekness, kindness, non-covetousness, abstinence, dispassion, contempt, goodwill, generosity. Never! When did you run out of good things that you needed for temporary life for almost 12 years, although you always had guests? Didn’t God always send you everything in abundance and reward you a hundredfold for your giving? Have you not always been cruelly deceived, indignant at the consumption of the gifts of the Lord by your neighbors, have you not always remained in shame, have you not always repented that you acted recklessly, with little faith, and lawlessly? So, do not value anything for your neighbor - not only for the honorable, but also for the poor. Compassionately, willingly, joyfully distribute the gifts of the Lord; With hospitality and mercy, treasure yourself grace from God and man. With the measure you use, it will be measured to you [Matt. 7, 2]. Everything earthly will pass away like a dream, but spiritual virtue will remain for centuries. Our enemy is cunning: he chains us to the temporary and seduces us with the temporary in order to deprive us of eternal blessings, and you be wise as a Christian: cleave to the heavenly, eternal and despise the earthly, temporary, preserve love, kindness, righteousness, non-covetousness, despise the womb and body, cherish the soul. What is especially tasty, pleasant, then despise, then let it be consumed quickly, so that the soul is not defiled by addiction to it, so that, valuing material things very highly, one does not despise man and his soul, created in the image and likeness of God, so that because of an addiction, for example, to pleasant food or to beautiful clothes and things in general, one does not fall away from the love of God and from love for one’s neighbor. Respect in every person - in every superior, equal, subordinate, inferior, his human dignity, as you respect your own; Respect everyone according to their position, rank, service, and do not despise anyone at all, do not be angry with anyone, be lenient with everyone, be long-suffering, be meek with everyone. Because of the addiction to money, many parents have deprived their children of their love and children of their parents. A terrible sight! Children do not see affection in their parents because their parents love money to the point of addiction, or some husbands and fathers have deprived their wives and children of their love because they themselves are addicted to sweets and drinks. Oh, how the enemy laughs at the sons of Adam for their addiction to earthly and corruptible things and for their neglect of the heavenly and eternal. Why do I love you, my multi-passionate, multi-rebellious flesh? Just because you are the ally and helper of my soul, that you should be the obedient slave of the soul! Otherwise, you will only be despised and crucified, for you are worse than any unclean reptile, worse than a snake, worse than a beast, worse than anything bad and unclean. If the demon of stinginess inspires your neighbors to feel sorry for fish, tell him: we live near the sea and the fish in it have never become scarce and will never become scarce - there will be enough of it for everyone until the end of the world; if the meat of animals and birds, tell him: until now there has been no shortage of animals and birds and there will not be until the end of the world, eat meat for food without hesitation - God will give birth again with His powerful word: grow and multiply [Gen. 1, 28 ]; if wheat, rye, sugar, sweet fruits, say: hitherto nothing from the vegetative kingdom has become scarce on earth, due to the original verb about plants; let the earth bring forth greenery, grass yielding seed after its kind and in its likeness, and a fruitful tree bearing fruit according to its kind, in which its seed is on the earth [Gen. 1, 11], - does not become scarce now, will not become scarce until the end of the world, and all creatures will be satisfied from the fatness of the earth, for the Lord is not only the Creator, but also the Provider of the world and all creatures, all-good, all-generous, all-powerful, all-knowing, all-wise, righteous, unchanging; if it’s money, tell him: the bowels of the earth are still rich in various metals and whole untouched mountains are still waiting for human hands to extract metal from them, which, like the sand of the earth, will not become scarce on the earth for a century, and besides, there are too many dying people who leave their wealth, and among them money, to their heirs, and humanity that has outlived the earth has left too large a reserve of this brilliant earth for it to be depleted. Moreover, if God pleases, He will turn dust or ordinary stones into gold and silver. There is nothing to worry about - use everything, man, for your benefit, be happy with everything, and let your neighbors be happy with everything. The ancients idolized bulls, calves, crocodiles, birds, fish, plants, gold and silver idols, Venus, bacchus, etc., etc. And now there are similar idolaters among us. He who is addicted to animal flesh worships bulls and calves; he who is addicted to fish worships fish; he who chases female beauty or lives fornication bows to Venus; he who gets drunk bows to bacchus; he who loves money bows to the golden calf. God! Deliver us from modern idolatry. You love to walk in the fresh air and breathe it in with pleasure - this is not enough, it is only good for the body; It is necessary to especially enliven the soul: while walking, one must have a God-mindedness and reflect on God, His goodness, meekness, wisdom, omnipresence, omniscience, omnipotence, immutability, etc., about His creation, providence, redemption, long-suffering, mercy - this will be life-giving air for the soul. You love to eat good, tasty and healthy food - this is again only for the body, but you also have a sinful soul, sick with sins, more important than the body in countless times: it also needs good food that brings it to health - this is the holy word of God, the Gospel, the Bible, the writings of the holy fathers or the lives of saints, especially the most pure Body and Blood of Christ and prayer. Read the Gospel every day with attention and meditation, as well as the lives of the saints, partake of the Holy Mysteries and feed your soul with them, and you will have it healthy, strong, and enlightened. You like to dress well, cleanly, neatly, even tastefully, elegantly. This is not enough. This is only for the body: you have a soul, you also need to clothe it, or, better yet, dress it daily and incessantly, since 51 it is exposed and exposed by sins from its clothing or because 52 the evil one exposes it. This clothing is the grace of God, or the Lord Jesus Christ Himself. All of you who were baptized into Christ have put on Christ [Gal. 3, 27], that is, in His virtue, in His properties - holiness, wisdom, goodness, meekness, mercy, patience and long-suffering, peacefulness, sobriety, etc. This is the clothing for the soul, imperishable, beautiful, eternal. How to love God with all your heart? – We must pray to Him with all our hearts, inseparably, putting everything worldly, all passions aside; we must fulfill His commandments with all our hearts, with all our strength: Thou hast commanded to keep Thy commandments strictly [Ps. 118, 4 ]; we must always serve Him with all our hearts. How to love your neighbor as yourself? - That is, to love always, invariably, as we always love ourselves, invariably, to wish him every good thing, as we always wish good things for ourselves, to do good to him, to provide leniency, patience, mercy, help in spiritual and physical needs, as we wish this for ourselves from others, etc. All church prayers, readings, all songs are deep truth, therefore from the depths of the soul one must always read and sing them, calmly, with the fear of God, without haste. The Lord, our all-good Heavenly Father, surrounded us with countless aids for salvation: He gave us birth through water and the Holy Spirit 53 and gave us His grace that cleanses, sanctifies, enlightens, strengthens; He gave us food and drink for cleansing and sanctification and strengthening His Divine Mysteries, His word, enlightening and cleansing, He appointed Guardian Angels, shepherds and teachers and much more, such as worship, etc. - and woe if we are careless and are not saved, for salvation depends on us. What is my body? Pus. And is this the pus I’m worrying about? Is it because of him that I break the commandments of God? God! If I have known You, my life, then why do I even live until now as if I had not known You? Why, when I am heavenly, when I am the king of the earth, which is subjugated under my feet, am I carried away by earthly passions and from the owner, the king, become a slave of the earth, of earthly things? Why do I, being Your breath, turn away from You; Why do I turn away, knowing that You are my life, my shrine, my peace, my sweetness, my lightness, my light! Why don’t I love my neighbor as myself, as my member, my body, when we all came from one blood, all brothers and sisters, one flesh and blood, when all your creatures, when those of the same faith with me are your children? Most merciful Lord! Correct my feet, enlighten the mental eyes of my heart and strengthen me all to fulfill Your holy, wise and life-giving commandments, teach me to love You and my neighbor. Teach me abstinence, non-covetousness, contempt of the belly, which is so opposed to my salvation and pleasing You, meekness, humility, obedience, patience, hard work, spiritual sobriety, unceasing prayer, chastity, abstinence, contentment with little things, selflessness, mercy, courage, hope (the great virtue), heavenly wisdom, all virtues. Love and you will be loved; make enmity, and they will enmity against you. What you sow is what you reap; with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. Boys and all adults! Remember that the moral law of God is constantly operating in the world, according to which every good is internally rewarded, and every evil is punished; Evil is accompanied by sorrow and tightness in the heart, and good is accompanied by peace, joy and space in the heart. This law is unchangeable, it is the law of the unchangeable, all-holy, righteous, wise and eternal God. Those who do good, or doers of this moral law, and, speaking Christianly, the gospel law (it is the same moral law, only more perfect), will certainly be rewarded with eternal life, and violators and those who have not repented of their violation will be punished with eternal torment. Like a shepherd among sheep, like a father among children, like an Angel among people, like the Lord among his disciples. - Who? Priest. - Where? In the church. Human characters are many different: they depend on nature, as inherited from parents, with birth in the blood, or on temperament, on circumstances: orphanhood or pampering in childhood, companionship, upbringing, on surrounding relatives or acquaintances in whose circle people live, on religiosity or coldness towards God, on food and drink, on the pleasures with which a person is surrounded, or on frequent displeasures, on irritation or affection, on the properties of the family, with by which he lives, from their passions or virtues. Therefore, anyone who wants to fulfill the law of Christ about loving one’s neighbor must humble himself and adapt to human characters in order to please everyone for the good and salvation. We must remember that everyone has a God-given free will, which God Himself does not force, and according to which different people achieve different virtues or wallow in different vices, and that you cannot put everyone in your own way or tune them like an instrument. Therefore, we should not be irritated when others do not act as we would like or as God wants, but to endure and endure long-suffering with meekness and remember that we ourselves almost constantly do not what pleases God, but our corrupt heart, and first take our own log out of our own way, and then, when we ourselves have a pure heart, or a hearty eye, we are filled with love for our neighbor, take the speck out of our brother’s eye. First, let the doctor heal himself, and then heal others, for the sick cannot heal the sick, the evil cannot heal the evil, the proud cannot heal the proud, the envious cannot heal the same, the stingy can treat the stingy, the impatient and irritable cannot heal the same, the intemperate cannot treat the intemperate, the lazy can treat the lazy, etc. All that is in the world: the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life [1 Jn. 2, 16]. Illumination to which does lust belong? - Eyes. Where does this lust come from? Not from the Father, not from God, but from this adulterous and sinful world. So, whether the posters invite you to illuminations or to a walk, to music - do not go, but stay at home, but get busy reading the Gospel or some other spiritual book and do great: you will not offer sacrifice to the triple lust and, therefore, to our common enemy, but serve God, who wants our eternal salvation, take care of your soul, and not please the lustful flesh. Do not be angry with a beggar when he asks you for alms several times after you have given to him once, but sympathetically and meekly ask about his needs, and if he really has a great need, satisfy it to the best of your ability, so that through this mercy you will attract the great mercy of God to yourself. And the poor have great needs: some need to feed and water their sick mother, and even treat them, pay rent, and others need to pay for a passport, and others need to pay for their father and mother and young sisters or brothers. It is a grave sin to be angry with them for frequently asking for alms on the same day. You give three, four or five kopecks - what will they buy with five kopecks, what will they do? How can you pay for the corner? And it turns out that you need to submit more and more. God will send. If your guests set a day to leave you and due to rainy weather or for some other reason they did not leave, do not try to send them out, but cordially leave them with you, so that your bread and salt and your hospitality are not blasphemed. Appreciate good guests and willingly offer them shelter, food and drink, for guests are our brothers, children of the Heavenly Father, members of Christ. God! Give me the grace to live on heavenly earth, in unity (communication) with You, in hope in You, in Your love. All-merciful Lord! I thank You with all my heart for the gift and spirit of prayer during the all-night vigil from July 29 to July 30, from Saturday to Sunday. Always give me this kind of prayer, more and more. I thank You that You heard me in the apartment of Pavel Ivanovich Istomin, in the circle of members of the newly established [Bulgarian] committee, when in the crampedness of sin I called out to You with clairvoyant faith. You have given me purification, salvation, peace, freedom, boldness and enlightenment of face. I thank You, my shameless hope! I thank You as a faithful Friend, a most merciful Savior, an omnipotent, swift intercessor, present everywhere, and watching over everyone, a most loving comforter. All the more honor to the doctor if he cures a seriously ill patient, all the more glory to the Savior if He cleanses, heals, corrects and saves the greatest sinner! Do not despair of your salvation, brother sinners! Your wealth of gifts is in me, Lord! I have nothing. Glory to You! Substance (food, drink, clothing, money, etc.) crowds me internally, morally and physically, bodily, and I cling to the substance, I want to load as much of it onto myself or into myself under the pleasant pretext of sweetness, beauty, reserve for a rainy day, and, acquiring substance, I lose my soul, losing sight of the only thing I need. Everyone must know himself, his nature, its duality, soul and body, his purpose, the needs of the physical and spiritual nature and satisfy in particular the needs of the spiritual nature, which are so often neglected by so many, while too much attention is paid to the needs of the body, and they are satisfied beyond measure, exceeding the measure, for example in food, drinks, clothing, housing, dishes, furniture. Everyone must remember that he is not a whole, but a member of the whole, or the body of the Church, and must contribute to the good of the whole and not live for himself; also remember that the earth is a temporary hotel, the sky is an eternal fatherland, what is good here, there is better beyond compare; that man is good now, but was better before the fall, and if he repents and corrects himself, he will be holy and receive eternal life as a reward, equal to the Angels. A heartily believing Christian does not stumble at public prayer, reading prayers and psalms in the ears of the people - only the heart of little faith is confused and stumbles. I thank the Lord that last night I talked with love and peace with my family, sitting among them, and that the enemy, who kicked me as usual, jumped back when I recognized his intrigues. It’s a strange thing: how I like to take, but I don’t like to give! It is more blessed to give than to receive [Acts. 20, 35]. How much is needed for the poor? You can dress every boy from head to toe for a ruble or a ruble and a half! What good and how easily it can be done, if only one is not addicted to one’s rubles! The Gospel story about the Lord's feeding of five thousand people, except women and children, with five loaves of bread and two fishes teaches us to do good to the poor and needy without a doubt with the limited means that we have, in the hope that our wealth will miraculously increase by the grace of God and neither bread, nor clothing, nor money, nor other things with which we help the poor will be depleted, on the contrary, they will even increase. Therefore, whether the poor ask us for bread, we will willingly give bread; if they ask for money, we will give without sparing money; if they ask for clothes, we will give clothes, and the mercy of God will not leave us and will always cover us. Let us abandon our lack of faith and let us diligently care for the poor and help them. Believe sincerely, firmly, constantly that you are heavenly, and live heavenly, not clinging with your mind and heart to earthly things, trampling on everything earthly with your heart’s will as rubbish - whether it be gold and silver, or silk and velvet, or eyeglasses, or precious stones, or sweets, or shiny chambers, or dishes, or luxurious furniture. I do stupid things every day - I am seduced by sweets and become satiated. God! Be merciful to me, a sinner. Why do we cling to this grain of sand, I mean to the earth? For the earth is just one grain of sand in comparison with the countless and huge worlds scattered in the endless space of the universe! Why do we cling to this dark grain of sand? I say dark, because it is truly dark and receives all its light from the sun. We think that on earth there is only bliss, on earth there is only life, just as ants believe that the whole world lies in an anthill, or a fish in water believes that the whole world is here, or a spider considers its web to be almost the entire universe. - No, our fatherland is there, in heaven, we will strive for it. Our head - Jesus Christ - suffers and dies a blasphemous death, and we, His members, have fun madly and seek more and more new joys, forgetting about our sinful soul, which perishes in passions. The head hungers for us, but we are satiated; The head has no place to lay his head, but for us the rooms are not rooms, the chambers are not chambers, the furniture is not furniture, the dishes are not dishes. The head is naked, but we think about panache, we strive for panache, we strive with all our might, but there is no mention of the soul. The head travels from village to city, from city to city, and we will constantly ride around in chariots and be afraid to take a step on foot? Is this true? Is it reasonable? Those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh... [Gal. 5, 24]. The poor are in dire need, that is why they ask for alms; if they were not in need, they would not ask. Every day their needs pursue them, they oppress them - every day they ask you. You eat and drink well, sweetly, luxuriously, dress, breathe fresh air, live in spacious and luxurious rooms, read various books and newspapers - do you have the grace of God in your heart? If not, then all your food and drink is nothing - rich clothes, fresh air, magnificent rooms. What I am saying is that we must try to acquire grace more than anything else, more than pleasant food and drink, more than smart clothes, more than air, more than the chambers of the rich. For the grace of God is our true life, true food and true drink, true spiritual clothing, life-giving, beautiful, incorruptible, true spiritual air, truly extensive life. We collect, collect for ourselves, as long as we live, various acquisitions, this various rubbish of the earth, and then we, like some kind of rubbish, will be taken out of the city or beyond the gates. This is our fate! And who will get the money? – We don’t know either. Isn't it better to acquire non-stealthy, incorruptible and inalienable virtue? Each of us sees with what greed fire devours dry wood when you bring it to the fire, and that it is easy to put out the fire at first, but when it gains strength, then it is difficult, and sometimes impossible, to extinguish it. Likewise, with such greed, sin bites into our soul, and in the beginning it is also easier to extinguish sin in the soul than when it intensifies and takes root - then it becomes very difficult and sometimes even impossible. Almost all of us see this to our liking or experience it ourselves. How should we guard against even the slightest sin? There are people who are burning all around in their sins as if they were on fire, or who are completely drowned in water, but they don’t feel it, they don’t know. What will fiery Gehenna be like? With what fury will eternal fire rush upon unrepentant sinners? How will he cry into them and not go out forever? Oh, woe! While there is time, let us extinguish the fire kindled for us with alms and tears of repentance. Now let the face of God appear concerning us (speaking of Jesus Christ) [Heb. 9, 24]. This is the reason why the priest, depicting the face of Jesus Christ, always stands before the throne of God. He depicts the Intercessor before God for people - Jesus Christ. How strong should his prayers be, offered with faith? So that... we may have firm consolation, having come running to take hold of the hope that is set before us, which for the soul is like a safe and strong anchor, and enters into the interior behind the veil, into which Jesus entered as our forerunner, having become a High Priest forever according to the order of Melchizedek. Heb. 6, 18 – 20 . Christ did not enter into a sanctuary made with hands... but into heaven itself, now to appear for us before the face of God. Heb. 9, 24. Do you want eternal, blissful life? Cleanse yourself from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, although this is very difficult and painful due to our sins, and you will unite with the source of eternal life - God in Jesus Christ and receive eternal life, for which we were created, into which we are called by the Christian faith. Life here is like a ghost, like a dream. Don't eat fish: you see, it arouses lust. Look not at the beginning, but at the consequences. If it were not for the harmful consequences, then God would always allow us to eat meat, fish, all kinds of sweets, and wine, and there would be no fasting and the virtue of abstinence. Do not be annoyed with beggar boys and girls because they come up several times for alms: they are simple-hearted, have a need - and ask. To be irritated is a grave sin. You should not be irritated when the celebrant sings in a voice that is not in your voice, perhaps due to weakness, and you should not have an addiction to your voice or sonorous tone, but calmly change your tone in accordance with the tone of a weak reader or singer, for this is why the Lord gave us a voice capable of different tones, so that we could comfortably agree with each other and bear the infirmities of weak singers. We must put aside our pride and not want the singing to be only in our tone. Isn’t it happiness to give alms to the poor every day and serve Jesus Christ Himself in the person of His lesser brothers? And shouldn’t we be willing to do this? If the Lord Himself said: just as you did it to one of the least of these My brothers, you did it to Me [Matt. 25, 40], then with what reverence, humility, meekness and gentleness, with what love and willingness should one give alms every day? And isn’t it with the greatest love that the Lord has mercy on us every day? Isn't he generous every day? Doesn’t He reward our alms a hundredfold, no matter how much we give, both in this and in the future life? So, let us not be discouraged, let us not be irritated, feeding the poor daily and giving them money! I thank the Most Holy Lady Theotokos, who quickly heard me when I cried out to Her, and saved me from the passion of bitterness that beset me. I thank the Lord my Savior, who saved me many times on this day, even when I cried out to Him. August 2. Evening. Wednesday. Assumption Fast. Hypostatic, self-existent, most perfect, simple My Belly! You graciously teach Yourself to me in the life-giving Mysteries - Your Body and Blood! Diverse food and drink provide only a shadow, a ghost of life, but Your Body and Blood are life itself, and eternal life! What do all earthly pleasures mean in comparison with eternal life, which was given to me by the cross and which I must achieve by the way of the cross, through sorrows, illnesses, deprivations, struggles with myself, with wicked people? What do food and drink mean in comparison with righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, with which the righteous will be satisfied? What does all this earthly splendor mean in comparison with the glory with which the righteous will be glorified? And after this, do I still pursue food and drink, and the beauty of clothing, and the glory of this world, like a passing dream? Why, above all else, do I acquire the grace of God in my heart? It is good to strengthen the hearts with the grace of God, and not with foods from which those who indulge in them receive no benefit [Heb. 13, 9]. Long-suffering Lord! You still tolerate my enlightened madness! Glory to Your unspeakable mercy! Every person, especially a Christian, or especially his soul, is dearer than the whole world: for man the Son of God became incarnate, suffered and died; He did not spare His flesh and blood for us, but we value our neighbor so little that sometimes we spare him trifles - some sweets, bread, drink, clothing, money for needs. We always value ourselves highly, we do not regret anything for ourselves, and others do not regret anything for us; We don’t count anything for ourselves; we often count every piece of someone else’s, especially the tasty ones; We know that we need a little, for example, to be satisfied, but about our neighbor we are ready to think that he will eat everything - and there will be little, and we are afraid that, feeding him, we will go broke, although experience and the word of God assure that those who feed others will never become poor [Prov. 28, 27]. This is how absurd carnal wisdom is! For every person, the Lord has prepared all kinds of food in abundance - either from food or from clothing, and it is only because of our greed and stinginess that many go hungry and are naked, although, however, many, out of laziness, starve or walk in rags. For the prayer of thanksgiving at the prayer service, I thank You, Lord. (August 2.) Before a large congregation of the church, as before one pious person, say your prayers, strengthened by the grace of God, for we, who are many, are one body [1 Cor. 10, 17]. Out of nothing to do and out of his malice, the enemy does various nasty things to us during worship, but we should not pay attention to them, for we must constantly praise God. They are afraid of indoor or outdoor dust - but this dust, although sometimes caustic and settles on the chest, is not as annoying and harmful as spiritual dust, the dust of sin: this latter is so annoying, constantly creeps into the soul through all the windows of the senses and is very deadly, poisonous to the soul and body, burns, oppresses and relaxes the soul and body, that it must be guarded in every possible way. He who is accustomed to dust does not care about it, just as he who is accustomed to living in sins does not care about them, although they eat up, undermine, and corrupt the root of his life - his heart. God save everyone from this habit of sins. The sinful law is constantly at work in me - and I must constantly remember this - intensifying to destroy my spiritual life, my holy life, according to the commandments of God, to separate me from the source of life of God by violating His commandments and subject me to eternal destruction. This law is constantly governed by Satan and his hasty power, his minions - demons. May I steadfastly adhere to the commandments of my God; may His law always be in my heart. You work as an instrument (I mean the soul), but do you pay enough attention to the condition of this instrument - is it healthy, is it strong, and since it is alive (I mean the soul), is its life durable, and if this temporary life is prosperous, then is eternal life, eternal well-being secured by anything, for example, by faith (is there a living faith in your soul in God, in the Savior, in the Church), by good deeds - meekness, humility, kindness, love of truth and honesty, self-control, chastity, mercy, patience, obedience, hard work, etc.? Otherwise, all your work is vain: your soul will do a lot, perhaps things worthy of wonder, but it itself will perish: what good is it to a person if he gains the whole world, but damages his own soul? [Matt. 16, 26]. I thank You, Lord, for You have granted me this day to celebrate the Liturgy in Your grace, in truth and power, with boldness and to partake in the world of spiritual powers of Your life-giving Mysteries. I thank You, for You have granted me the strength to defeat the intrigues of the enemy during the reading of the akathist to the Iveron Mother of God! Oh, how he washed away and relaxed my heart with vain fear! But by the mercy of Thy and the Lady - I called to Her - I will defeat him. Glory to You! Morning and evening prayers at home and all prayers performed in church - for morning, mass, evening, all the prayers laid down during the performance of various Sacraments - Baptism, Confirmation, Repentance, Priesthood, Marriage and Blessing of Anointing - are so beautiful, wise, convincing that if we all prayed for them always sincerely, we would receive all the benefits mentioned in them and not one of us would died, but everyone would have been saved - they are so perfect and pleasing to God, they are so true! But alas! Very many of us do not pray, many pray coldly, hypocritically, without the participation of the heart, without warmth of soul, out of habit, as when meeting many people they say: hello, goodbye! How wisely, majestically, and edifyingly the entire divine service of our Church is arranged, beginning with the Midnight Office and morning prayers and ending with Compline! But the service of proskomedia and liturgy is especially wise and edifying! Why are the Mother of God, prophets, apostles, hierarchs, martyrs, saints and saints and all the saints remembered? – They prove the truth and salvific nature of the Christian faith. Have you given yourself an account in prayer of how you always pray - with warmth, directness and a sincere heart, or with understanding? Have you given an account of the morning and evening prayers that you read, about their content, about their beauty and greatness? Can you imagine in a few words their entire content, so that they have a greater effect on the imagination, heart and will? Morning and evening prayers, especially the liturgical canons, stichera on the Lord I cried, stichera on the verse, on praises perfectly characterize our spiritual state, our relaxation, our weakness, our disastrous state without the Savior. If someone speaks insolence to you and shows disobedience, do not be irritated and do not become embittered with the impudent one, for this is a sign of pride, but take pity on him and sigh for him to God, so that his soul does not perish in the sin of insolence and disobedience, like the souls of Dathan, Abiron and Korah. Pray for him: Lord! Let him go - I don’t know what he’s doing, or: Lord! Don't blame him for this sin. For it is an insane and inhumane thing to put fire on a building that has already started to burn. If you see insolence and disobedience towards yourself, remember whether you have not and have never done insolence and disobedience to your superiors, if not personally, then in absentia, for example, in front of strangers or subordinates of the boss, whether you have expressed insolence, disrespect and disobedience towards him or only in your heart; didn’t you have zeal against the boss and against his orders, for with what measure you measure, it is measured to you: for your insolence you yourself will see the insolence of others towards you, for disobedience - disobedience. If you see people who are drunk, remember whether you yourself indulge in excess in food and drink, and mourn before God your sins in advance, and then the sins of your neighbors, and pray to the Lord that He will allow both you and them to live abstinently, for we are all members of one body, we must all take care of each other, correct each other, support, save. Prayers, hymns, and Sacraments, and in general all worship is such a high and life-giving, heavenly wisdom, which is comprehended only by simple, humble souls, pure in heart or striving for purity of heart, and which is hidden from the wise and reasonable of this age: Has not God turned the wisdom of this world into madness? [ 1 Cor. 1, 20]. So many of the speakers, writers, professors, artists, scientists in general, the noble and rich, the rulers of this world, due to their addiction to worldly wisdom, do not comprehend the wisdom of God, which is contained in morning and evening prayers, in our public worship, in our Holy Sacraments, in the lives of the saints of the Orthodox Church, in the works of the holy fathers, and consider them either unnecessary for salvation or necessary only for some, ordinary people; and many of these wise men do not pray either at home or go to church, do not go to public worship, at least very rarely, for the sake of decency, they condemn the Sacraments or reject their essential importance and inevitability. Look who comes to our churches? Most are the common people. But many of these last will be the first, and the first in this world will be the last, that is, they will be expelled into utter darkness. When you pray, then, firstly, try to understand everything that you say, secondly, to desire with all your heart what you are asking for, and thirdly, to carry out the will of God with your deeds. This will be the Holy Trinity, consubstantial and inseparable, that is, through this our God will always be glorified, glorified in the Trinity, who created us in His image and likeness and, by the way, in the image of His Trinity. Or: when you pray, understand, feel what you read and believe that you are actually receiving - and you will receive cleansing of sins, holiness, peace, joy, light, strength, holy boldness. Whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you receive it, and it will be done for you [Mk. 11, 24]. Seeing dumb cattle, think about whether you yourself have become like dumb cattle in your earthly aspirations, whether you have forgotten that you are in the image and likeness of God and must strive for God, for the heavenly life and the Kingdom, that you have been redeemed by the blood of the Son of God, who came down from heaven, so that he will raise you to heaven, that you are a Christian and a member of the Holy Church, this heavenly society on earth, preparing with God-given powers to union with God in heaven in holiness; Think that you have been given a straight waist and a forehead turned to heaven, so that you may constantly be wise in heaven, so that you do not cleave to earthly things; You are honored by reason and free will, so that you freely, and not forcibly, move towards the heavenly Kingdom, and you resist punctuation, and you improve in every virtue, and you acquire imperishable crowns. I thank You a hundred times, Lord, for You have granted me to celebrate the Liturgy in peace and to partake of the Holy Mysteries without condemnation and to perform prayers in peace and strength; I thank Thee, for Thou hast transformed sorrow into joy, fierce confusion into heavenly peace, and turned powerlessness into strength. August 4, 1867 Friday. Why do you spare the old man with his iniquities? Give him a good beating. Put his abominations out into the light of God, so that they will appear vile. Among those present in church, be like a child, simple-hearted, calm, slowly, pronouncing the words of prayers separately. We must trample upon the sinful law of carnal, blind, stupid pride that operates in us, by which we are carried away into covetousness, stinginess, envy, pride, bitterness, self-will and stubbornness, into greed, into delicacy, satiety and drunkenness, into fornication, theft, laziness, absent-mindedness, impatience and other sins; for example, the sinful law of carnal pride inspires us to run away from the poor in order to avoid giving alms or to despise them, and the law of Christian love teaches us to joyfully meet them halfway, as to Christ the Savior Himself, and willingly give them alms. You can love your neighbor only by correcting the law of carnal pride. If anyone wants to follow Me, says the Savior, turn away from yourself [Matt. 16, 24; OK. 9, 23]. Those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and lusts [Gal. 5, 24]. This is the difficulty - due to our stubbornness in pride - to fulfill the commandment of love. Meanwhile, the whole law is fulfilled in one word - love your neighbor as yourself [Rom. 13, 9]. God! I thank You with all my heart, for You have given me grace and strength, through my prayer, to perform Matins with boldness and to read the rule for Communion, moreover, with warmth, tenderness - with tears of true faith and repentance. Glory to You. August 5, 1867. I thank You, Lord, for You have given me the gift to celebrate the Liturgy with boldness, in truth and spiritual power. I thank You that during the all-night vigil for the Transfiguration, when the proverbs were read, You tore apart the bonds of sin in me through my inner prayer and the lifting of the eyes of my heart to You, sitting invisibly on the throne; I thank You for giving me heartfelt space and helping me to perform the entire all-night vigil with boldness. I will not cease, my Joy, to thank You for Your mercies towards me, unworthy. August 5, 1867. Evening. Lutherans do not fulfill the fifth commandment of God: honor your father and your mother [Ex. 20, 12]. Aren't our fathers the apostles, hierarchs, and saints? Isn't it the mother - the Most Blessed Virgin Mary? Are they not mothers - wives equal to the apostles, venerable wives or martyrs? But Luther rejected their veneration. Lutherans are the worst heretics! It is said in the Scripture: worship His footstool, for it is holy [Ps. 98, 5], that is, the cross. But Lutherans don't worship him. Superstitious wisdom! How to have close communication with them! Having fellowship with them, he is informed of their deeds and their heresies. But we ourselves give strength to their false beliefs, having close communication with them and even praising their faith, giving them all sorts of public positions. If an earthly father and mother, imperfect in love, know how to give good gifts to their children, how much more the Heavenly Father [Matt. 7, 11], how much more so is the Mother of God and the mother by grace of all Christians, perfect, good, all-powerful, wise and omnipresent in God? Sins and passions distort and disfigure our nature, created in the image of God. For this alone, we must in every possible way avoid sins and passions that plunge into dishonor our being, which is honored by the Creator with so much honor! In addition, passions deprive us of peace, joy, bliss, light, freedom in this life and can forever deprive us of bliss in the future life, if [that is] we do not repent and correct ourselves. Therefore, we have been given repentance and communion of the Holy Mysteries, so that we may be cleansed, may we be sanctified, may we be strengthened again in virtue. Let's not doze off or sleep. Why do we slumber and become addicted to earthly things? - These are the holy people of God, who have despised everything earthly for the sake of God and the future Kingdom, now enjoying the non-evening light, the eternal bliss of heaven and enjoying eternal glory. Why don't we imitate them? (Earth is a grain of sand.) Learn from the wisdom of heaven to always treat with respect and kindness every person - the well-dressed and the poorly dressed, the noble and the ignorant, the educated and the uneducated, the long-familiar even now, friends and strangers, the poor and the rich, and do not ever despise a person because of his poverty or ignorance and rudeness, because of his coarse clothes and unclean, dirty or sick, or ugly face. Pay attention to the inner, for everyone is created in the image of God. God! I have sinned and I sin often. Have mercy on me. August 6. Most merciful Lord! I thank You with all my heart, firstly, for the speedy deliverance from my internal illness, which befell me this morning and intensified especially during mass. Sitting while reading the Apostle on the apostolic seat opposite the throne of Your glory, I cried out to You internally for salvation, and You immediately saved me: I felt it; secondly, I thank you for the unfaltering service of the liturgy, for the uncondemned communion of the Holy Mysteries, for the boldness in pronouncing the word of the sermon and for the boldness in saying the prayer of thanksgiving at the prayer service, at which the enemy often overthrew me, and also for the victory of the insidious enemy at the prayer service in the shop of the merchant N. Turkin during the reading of the water-blessing prayer - the enemy ran far away when I decided to force myself [...] to pronounce in my place those words that the enemy would not allow me to pronounce. Oh, how fun, peaceful, light, spacious I felt! With what boldness, with what heartfelt simplicity I prayed! Glory to Thee, Conqueror of hell, glory to Thee, King of glory, mighty in battle! Six o'clock in the evening. We should not neglect the land that remains idle among us, because the land produces fruit if you plant seeds in it. Words from Pastor McSweeney. Человек где ни бывает – но потом всё домой возвращается. Likewise, a Christian, no matter who he is: noble or simple, rich or poor, learned or ignorant - wherever he is, whatever position he holds in society, whatever he does, must remember that he is not at home, but on a journey, on a journey, and must return home to his father, mother, older brothers and sisters, and this home is heaven, the Father is God, the Mother is the Most Holy Theotokos, older brothers and sisters are Angels, saints God's men; that all (actually) earthly duties and deeds are tasks, and the real deed or work is the salvation of the soul, the fulfillment of the commandments of Christ, the purification of the heart. Oh, the ineffable goodness of God, oh, the countless bounties of the Lord, the wisdom, the omnipotence of the Lord! Where the abyss of our sins is, there is the abyss of God’s mercy, the abyss of salvation; where the abyss of our weakness is, there is the abyss of His strength, where the abyss of our darkness is, there is the abyss of His light, where the abyss of our madness is, there is the abyss of His wisdom, where the abyss of our fears is, there is the abyss of His encouragement, boldness; Where the abyss of our confusion is, there is the abyss of His peace. Glory to Thee, our most generous Master! Glory to Your inscrutable goodness and mercy! Enlightened people, and behind them those unenlightened by the light of teaching, people [noticeably] now especially love light, not so much spiritual, however, as material, fleeting light - the illumination of airy multi-colored lights, home or theater lighting. Why do we love light? Because we were created for light, and not for darkness, because in our soul there still remains some concept and feeling of the primitive light, with which the first people were united, and a natural thirst for light. Only, my brothers, this thirst for light must be given the proper direction, turned towards those true objects or, more precisely, sources with which it must be quenched. We must thirst for spiritual, Divine light, strive for this light. How? - Through true enlightenment, through Christian virtues - abstinence, purity, chastity, humility, meekness and kindness, patience, obedience, honesty, love for God and neighbor (love for our very enemies), mercy. The righteous will one day shine like the sun in the Kingdom of their Father [Matt. 13, 43 ], like Angels. It is this light that we must thirst for, this light we must strive for. But to engage and admire these fugitive lights is a task not worthy of a Christian, an infantile task, a task not worthy of educated people or the present age, distinguished by special enlightenment, however, more secular, also ephemeral, like sparklers. Glory to the church fasts, glory to the wisdom of the holy mother of the Church. During fasting, a person noticeably improves internally, the machinations of the enemy are weakened by abstinence, and tenderness is more likely to be born in the soul. It is good to fast. In two or three days, every person can be convinced of the benefits of fasting. God! I am a miracle of Your goodness, wisdom, omnipotence, since You brought me from non-existence into being, since I am preserved by You to this day in being, since I have, through the goodness, generosity and love of Thy Only Begotten Son, to inherit eternal life, if I remain faithful to You, since by the terrible sacred act of sacrificing Myself by Your Son I have been restored from a terrible fall and redeemed from eternal destruction. I praise Your goodness, Your infinite power, Your wisdom! But perform miracles of Your goodness, omnipotence and wisdom over me, the accursed one, and save me, Thy unworthy servant, through fate, and bring me into Your eternal Kingdom, making me worthy of an ageless life, an unfading day. The day is a symbol of the transience of earthly life: morning comes, then day, then evening, and with the onset of night the whole day has passed. This is how life will pass. First infancy, like early morning, then adolescence and courage, like full dawn and noon, and then old age, like evening, God willing, and then inevitably death. What are you, man, exchanging your godlike dignity for? - Is it for sweets, or for acquisitions, for silver and gold, for valuable garments, or for this worldly vanity and corruption? These verbal sheep are beggars, they want to eat, dress, and live under shelter every day; You, as a good shepherd, following the example of the One Good Shepherd, feed with love, with joy these sheep, for which Christ, their God and yours, laid down His soul, clothe them, give them payment for shelter; The Chief Shepherd will not leave you exhausted, hungry, homeless - on the contrary, he will give you everything in abundance. For he who does good to the poor lends to the Lord [Prov. 19, 17]. Show attention, honor, gratitude to the one who bowed you down for the sake of heaven and came down, suffered, died and rose again, and take care of the heavenly wisdom, and ascend to heaven, for for this purpose the Son of God came down from heaven, so that you, the worm, would lift you up to heaven and unite you with Himself and make you a participant in His Divine bliss and Kingdom. If you figure it out, it will be sweet (for example, different prayers, words of Scripture, if you think about each word, expression, think about it), but if you don’t figure it out, you won’t taste the sweetness. This is not a sin: if you bite through it, it’s terribly bitter; if you don’t bite through it, it’s sweet, like sweetened poison. If you do not love your wife, or mother, or servants, or the poor, who loves you with tenderness, then how can you love God, Whom you do not see [1 John. 4, 20 ]? Meanwhile, man is the image of God. Love first of all God in your neighbor. What does the one who does not love do and what does the one who loves? An unloving person is impatient, irritable, unmerciful, if in some way you did not please his pride, he gets angry, loses his temper, wanting to get his way right away; a person who does not love envies the well-being of his acquaintances, comrades, even relatives, is arrogant, proud, acts outrageously, seeks his own, and not his neighbor, or not God’s glory, for example, not the salvation of his neighbors, often thinks evil about his neighbor, suspects, rejoices about untruth, but does not rejoice in the truth, does not want to cover almost anything with love, but wants to exact for everything, endures little, believes little, has little hope for He expects more from his calculations, labors, and searches, and often stops loving him. And the loving one? - It's the opposite. See 1 Cor. 13, 4 – 8. August 8, 1867 I thank You, most merciful Lord, for You have vouchsafed me to perform the Divine Liturgy without stumbling and to partake without condemnation of Your Divine Mysteries for the cleansing of my sins, for the sanctification of soul and body, and for the heavenly peace. I thank You, Judge and righteous God, for You punished me worthily when I treated me harshly and angrily, or, more precisely, viciously, with a poor youth, who, having received alms from me in the church, relentlessly followed me to the gymnasium, demanding more money from me, for I was met with cramped conditions, sorrow and shame on my face when I with displeasure gave him more of the money he demanded. I recognized my guilt and repented before You, and after two and a half hours You forgave my guilt and took away my distress. I remembered my rich free apartment and the damp basement of the beggar, for which he must pay, my luxurious meal and the meager, simple meal of the beggar, my satiety and his hunger, my rich and numerous clothing and his only, meager rags - and, remembering, I recognized my great unrighteousness before You, God. I also remembered that everyone is ready to give me what I need and many give it to me, but to him, the poor man, I am almost the only one - I remembered and felt sorry for him. How to love God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, with all your mind [Mk. 12, 30 ]? With all your heart - that is, undividedly, not divided between love for God and love for the world and for creation in general: if, for example, you pray, pray not with a split heart, do not be entertained by vain thoughts and worldly passions, be entirely in God, in His love; with all the soul - that is, not with any power of the soul alone, for example, with the mind, without the participation of the heart and will; with all your might – and not half-heartedly or lightly; when you have to fulfill any commandment, fulfill it diligently, to the point of sweat and blood and life, if necessary, but not lazily and sluggishly or reluctantly. Do sins scare me? The Lord is salvation from my sins. Do the temptations of the evil one frighten me? The Lord will not give me over to his teeth. Does the fear of death frighten me? The Lord came to earth, suffered and died in order to drive away our mortal fears, for death was trampled upon by Him and made a peaceful dormition, after which there will be an awakening to eternal life and eternal joy in the bosom of Divine love. Is the Last Judgment scary? The Lord Jesus is my comfort at His judgment. Thus, the Lord became a Savior for us in all the immense meaning of this word: a Savior of all kinds in earthly life, a Savior in death and after death, a Savior at judgment and after judgment. Glory to His mercy, glory to His mercies, His unspeakable grace. I live, you live, he lives; you live, they live: where does our life come from? Who is the source of our life? – Jesus Christ, Son of God. So what is He called? - The belly, or simply, or the Hypostatic belly, the eternal belly. Nowadays, more than ever, people are overcome by the passion to build and remodel very often what is not necessary at all, and to spend huge sums on these buildings and alterations (600 thousand for the amendment of the Academy of Arts), often obtained by the sweat, blood, and tears of the people. This is a sign of the nearness of the second coming of the Lord; The Lord Himself says that before His second coming people will have a passion for construction and gardens: they planted, built [Lk. 17, 28]. Why do they remake unnecessary [...]? Because where wood is cut, chips fly. And here the chips are golden - a lot of them end up in the pockets of architects and engineers. Rich people build and remodel because they have nowhere to put the money. Tobacco smoke is coarse, but the breath of the Holy Spirit is subtle, subtle. Doesn't our smoking of tobacco smoke hinder the breath of the Holy Spirit in us, especially since smoking is a whim and empty greed? Why am I angry today, damned one, with the poor boy? Due to the fact that he persistently asked me for a few more kopecks in addition to the three kopecks given. What have I done? With indignation and malice, I gave him two more kopecks and valued the poor man at five kopecks and even less, because I was ready to hit him for five kopecks. Forgive my great sin, Lord, and do not allow me to become embittered against my neighbor because of corruptible things, in whose person - You Yourself! – Co-creator with me [Matt. 25, 40]. O I, satiated idolater! O work of the devil! But you yourself don’t mind spending a lot of money even on a whim: on sweets, on portraits, on clothes, on furniture, on dishes in a new or generally elegant taste, which, of course, are expensive. O wicked flesh! Proud, greedy, envious, stingy, evil, proud, contemptuous, impatient, lazy, easily inflamed by all kinds of sin! I thank You, Holy Father, for yesterday through my prayer You delivered me from the passion of dishonor, when invited guests came to me and with them an uninvited one (father Archpriest Belk. with his daughter and with them a butterfly), and when my spirit was indignant for an uninvited reason, You saved me from dislike and indignation towards her, from partiality and inspired me equally, in truth, to honor her together with those invited, for You commanded not to have faith in You out of sight [Jas. 2:1] and not call rich neighbors or relatives, but the poor, the needy, the blind, etc., and called the one who receives them neighbor, because they do not have what to repay him with, and that he will be rewarded at the resurrection of the righteous [Lk. 14, 12 – 14]. But your servant Tatiana also belongs to the number of these poor. And we, sinners, would still only treat the rich and noble, so that we could celebrate with them ourselves, or simply out of habit, please these people. The Heavenly Father does not look at things this way and does not want this from us, but for the strong to bear the infirmities of the weak [Rom. 15, 1], the rich helped the poor, the scientists instructed the ignorant, so that there would be brotherhood on earth, and not lordship and arrogance. It is necessary that the whole soul works in prayer: so that the mind does not doze off, the heart does not sleep or remain cold, insensitive, indifferent to prayer, so that the will is full of energy or determination to put on faith and please God and serve others. What makes our life beautiful? - Sociability. Don't forget to communicate [Heb. 13, 16], says the Apostle. If battle arises against me, I will trust in Him [Ps. 26, 3]. I thank You, Lord, for You heard my midnight prayer for the unfailing prayer before the beginning of the teaching and gave me the grace to unfailingly perform this prayer with the blessing of water, and You granted me the blessing of water to say the prayer with boldness and strength, without stumbling. I thank You for Your Divine Liturgy and for the non-judgmental communion of Your Holy Mysteries into the world of my spiritual powers. I thank You, because You took away all my fears, or the weakness of my heart, and You made me prosperous in everything. August 11, 1867. (I did not pray in vain to You, Omnipresent and Omniscient.) A disease of the spirit is an addiction to earthly things: sweets, money, clothes, dishes, furniture, housing, paintings, flowers, etc.; this disease, this mania prevents the soul from strongly educating itself for the heavenly Kingdom, excludes love for God and neighbor: in the moral world it is a plague that kills the true life of the soul, a cancer that threatens the death of the soul. The Lord Himself said that these are... the desires of this world to walk with them, and they do not produce fruit [Lk. 8, 14]. Have no attachment to anything earthly - and God will add everything to you, because then you will seek the Kingdom of God and its righteousness [Matt. 6, 33]. Tune you accept with joy - give tune with joy to those whom God sends. With the same measure you use, it will be measured back to you [Lk. 6, 38]. Sometimes you are given a significant amount of money for free - don’t spare at least a little for people who, like you, want to eat and drink sweets for free. After all, they are just like you, with the same weaknesses. You forgive yourself, forgive - forgive them too: why be angry? Our God is generous, all-good, inexhaustible - he gives everything to everyone. Let's just live in love. A Christian, especially a priest, who so often partakes of the Divine heavenly Mysteries of the Body and Blood of his Lord, should all be heavenly, holy; in reality it turns out differently: he is earthly, passionate, vain, frivolous, like all other people. What answer will we give to the Lord? He who loves God willingly sacrifices everything temporary, earthly, life itself for God, for the fulfillment of His commandments, because he longs for eternal life in God, in unity with Him. How we should value the fact that we were born by water and the Holy Spirit in baptism and became children of God, members of the Church of Christ, heirs of God, joint heirs of Christ! We must walk worthy of the calling to which we have been called [Eph. 4, 1]. The Holy Church (or holy apostles, hierarchs, martyrs, saints - in their creations, in their lives) is our true mother, constantly feeding us the saving milk of faith. Whose prayers and chants revolve daily in our souls and on our lips and cleanse, enlighten, delight, strengthen our spirit? – Holy Church, or holy father. Who composed these delightful prayers and chants during the celebration of the Sacraments and feeds them to the believers, along with the teaching of the grace of the Sacraments, cleansing, sanctifying, healing, guiding? - Church. Whose worship is performed daily and waters the souls of believers? - Church. Whose morning and evening prayers are spoken daily in our mouths, cleanse, illuminate, and pacify us? - Church. Whose prayer do we resort to when we want to travel, swim, study, or during various adversities? - Church. O most tender, holy, heavenly, wise, eternal, unshakable mother, glory to you! Glory and thanksgiving to the Lord, the Creator of the Church, glory to the Mother of God, the Head of the mental education of the 55 church, glory to the holy apostles, prophets, hierarchs, saints, martyrs, unmercenaries and all the saints who pray for us and with us, guiding us, feeding us, comforting us, disposing us to repentance, heartfelt prayer and giving every spiritual good. But, O faces of the holy apostles together with the Mother of God, prophets, martyrs, hierarchs, saints, teach us to despise earthly pleasures that captivate us, seduce us, and torment us! Vulner our souls to the heavenly love, to the heavenly fatherland, bind our souls to the love of God and to the love of our neighbor. My heart is painful, almost constantly divided between attachment to the world and love for God. If he strives entirely towards God and places his trust in Him alone, then it is easy for him, but when he becomes attached to the sweets, wealth, and clothing of this world, it becomes painful and painful. August 12. I thank You, Lord, for once again you accepted my prayer and gave me the grace and strength to read the prayers of repentance for communion with sincere feeling, to perform the liturgy without stumbling, without condemnation, to also receive communion and to give the laity the Divine Mysteries. Thank you for your mercy towards me, a sinner; thanksgiving for peace, for boldness, for strength. But even to the end, help me, Lord, in this great priestly service, grant me to perform all the Mysteries, all services and prayers without stumbling. 13. I thank You, Lord, for You have granted me the grace to perform the Liturgy without stumbling and to partake of Your Divine Mysteries without condemnation, into the world of spiritual powers. I thank you again, for you have kindly taken away the sinning and repentant me and quickly removed the tightness, giving me space, and driving away the confusion, giving me Your peace. Glory to Thee, God of mercy and bounty! Our bombs are words of faith spoken loudly. The highest persons are earthly gods. Az reh: bozi este [Ps. 81.6]. August 14. I thank You, many-merciful, long-suffering, justice Lord, that You, by Your ineffable mercy, saved me from my inner embitterment during the all-night vigil against my father, the archpriest, granting me to know my extreme sinfulness, lewdness and weakness, and the meekness, and kindness, and kindness of the heart of my father, the archpriest; I thank You for transforming pride into humility, anger into goodness, contempt into reverence, embarrassment, fire, oppression, humiliation into calm, coolness, space, greatness of spirit. I thank You, Most Holy Lady, for through Your intercession - I prayed to You - I would be delivered from my evils that befell me, and like great waters, immersed me. I thank You, Lord, for you constantly disgrace dishonest passions in me and do not allow them to take root in me, and enlighten the eyes of my heart, and teach Your law internally. August 15. I thank You, Most Blessed Lady, for You heard me soon when I bowed the knees of my heart and body before Your most pure image when I was wounded by sin, and, having enlightened the eyes of my heart, You granted me peace of mind. I thank You, for You taught me to look at every person as the image of God and to honor every person, not to humiliate anyone, not to be embittered by anyone, not to feel sorry for anyone, not to envy anyone. Approve. August 16. God! I thank You, for even now You have saved me several times; I thank You, for You granted me to pray at three prayer services and inspired Your servants to serve prayer services and invite me. This served to cleanse me. How to fulfill the commandments of Christ? Treating people who surround us, meet us, live, ask for our help, the way we want others to act with us, treat everyone kindly, without distinction or partiality, be lenient towards those who sin, excuse faults as far as this does not harm the common good and the glory of God, do not envy, do not think or do evil to your neighbor, do not be stingy, hard-hearted, do not offend either with your glance or in a word, nor in any other deed, to endure insults graciously for the sake of Christ, to the one asking for a loan for an extreme need, to give, do not take the increase, if someone asks to spend - to see off, to the one who requires advice, to give it after thinking it over, to bear the infirmities of the weak without grumbling, with pleasure. Many say: it is difficult to fulfill the law, while others say that it is impossible - this is not true: each in his place, do his job according to his conscience, treat those around you the way you want it from others, and you will fulfill the law. The yoke of the Lord is good and His burden is light, just throw away selfishness and wickedness, pride, malice, envy, impatience, laziness and other passions. The Savior does not demand anything impossible from us, but only what our common sense, our conscience, our heart, not clouded by pride, demands - in a word, what our own good requires, what constitutes our life, peace and contentment. Read often the 5th, 6th and 7th chapters of the Gospel of Matthew. People are building, building - and they’ll build a house, they’re writing, they’re writing - and they’ll write an essay, they’re sewing, they’re sewing - and they’ll even make a dress, or they’re doing some other thing, they’re doing it, and they’ll do it. Why is the matter of spiritual salvation, or the building of a spiritual home, not moving forward? Because it is done sluggishly, lazily, carelessly, ficklely, unreasonably, and not vigorously. Every master, as soon as he sets himself a certain task, then he certainly tries to do it, to bring it to the end, so as not to remain in shame and not to lose the benefit for the completed task, for the thing done. And we don’t set ourselves the task of saving the soul - do it yourself as you want and can, I, they say, have a lot of other things to do without you. Meanwhile, the matter of salvation is the most important, most necessary, highest, priceless matter, which certainly requires our participation. Well, who is not their own soul closest to everything, not dearer than everything, not above everything in the world? And whose soul, if not ours, is in absolute need of salvation? And who, besides her, can do the work of her salvation? When saving, save, save diligently, constantly, urgently, your souls. The Kingdom of Heaven is taken by force, and those who use force take it away [Matt. 11, 12]. How pleasant this light is! There is fun, music - here are funeral prayers, songs, crying for the deceased; here is wealth, luxury, splendor - here is hunger, poverty, lack of everything, even decent and sufficiently warm clothing, cramped conditions, disgusting dirt, dampness. Here is blooming health, excess strength - here is illness, decrepitude, exhaustion; here is enlightenment, much knowledge - here is ignorance, darkness; or here, with secular education, high spiritual enlightenment and piety, and in this combination - a beautiful and pleasant spiritual harmony and spiritual beauty - here, secular enlightenment and with it - unbelief, immorality - this is spiritual ugliness, disharmony, dissonance, tearing apart the soul; here success in all enterprises - here failure; here everything is easy to get: money, and all the honors and distinctions in society - here you fight with all your might and you will achieve nothing, or only with great effort you will achieve little. Who will resolve this apparent contradiction? - One God. We can only guess. Blame not others, but yourself for your malice; The devil plays with you, constantly inciting you to be angry with your neighbor, showing you various knots, shortcomings, and mistakes in your neighbor and covering your internal or mental logs from you with a veil of pride. Blame yourself, condemn yourself: I am, you say, damned, I am to blame for everything - both in my anger and irritability, and not my neighbor: with whatever measure I measure to him, with that he measures it rightly to me, according to the demands of his own sense of self-preservation: I am good to him, he is good to me, I am not good - and he is not good. These are true words: life and peace - or spiritual death and confusion. I thank the Lady, who again saved me by bending my knees before Her miraculous Tikhvin icon in the living room. Do not be angry at soulless things and dumb animals, because through this anger and irritability are nourished, and while you are angry at soulless things or dumb animals, you will not stop being angry at verbal people. Be meek everywhere and in everything. Do not feast in excess, for delicacy feeds carnal pride and the passion of gluttony, hardens the heart, making it insensitive to the needs and misfortunes of one’s neighbor, and makes a person impatient and irritable. He sinned towards the Lord - he despised the members of Christ, the poor children who persistently asked for alms a second time after they were given, and became embittered with them, and with annoyance and indignation gave them a few more kopecks in order to get rid of them. But how indignant and wounded my spirit was! What a fire, burning and scorching, has formed in my bones, what oppression, sorrow! My God! Good God! By true judgment You brought all this upon me because I despised these children, despised You in Your members! But have mercy on me and have mercy on me and change me for the better. You laid down Your soul for us and interceded eternal life for us with the resurrection from the dead, and we must lay down our souls as brothers, that we may be like You, that we may be heirs of Your Kingdom. What a connection of sins! For example, by pleasing the belly, I become more self-loving, prouder, angrier, more irritable, envious, stingier, etc. Why? Because gluttony darkens and weakens the eye of the heart and, due to its earthiness and lack of grace in it, makes it very accessible to the enemy, who plunged the first people into a thousand evils through gluttony. Blessing and glorifying the holy people of God and the Most Holy Angels, Mary the Mother of God, we must certainly imitate them in the virtues with which they pleased God, and strive unceasingly and diligently for the heavenly Kingdom, which they achieved with their incessant labors and the grace of Christ. Otherwise, what will be our satisfaction and glorification? – Just hypocrisy, the beating of air. We walk and drive and swim along smooth, straight paths: oh, that we would all walk along such straight paths into the Kingdom of God! Oh, that our paths would be corrected to do the commandments of Christ! Oh, if we would learn to be meek and humble, self-controlled, chaste, uncovetous, merciful, brotherly, patient, and mountain-wise! Oh, if only our paths to God, to eternity would be smoothed out and straightened! With a writing hand, to sober up society, which has become confused by the vanity of life, to admonish it. Sparklers, funeral dinners; to collect from the poor or from charitable institutions. If I am an unworthy, sick member, then the Holy Church, to which I belong, prays for me both during life and after death, and its prayer is omnipotent before God; but who will pray for heretics and schismatics? - heretics and schismatics do not have a prayer for the dead, and even if they did, it would be invalid; The prayer of the Orthodox Church can still be more valid if the relatives of the heretic strenuously ask for this prayer and themselves pray diligently with us, as shown by the example of the Church of Constantinople and Queen Theodora, who prayed for the iconoclast Theophan: through the prayer of the Church, God forgave the sin of iconoclasm to the king, who had already died, and his other sins - but the prayer of heretics is unpleasant to God. Therefore, those who die in a non-Orthodox faith and schism are unhappy. The Kingdom of Heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants [Matt. 18, 23]... The debtor of ten thousand talents is me, the debtor of five hundred denarii is my neighbor. The Lord forgives me without number - I, the damned one, do not show leniency to my neighbor, but out of trifles I get excited, I become embittered with him, I am ready to cut him off and beat him. It’s not right what my neighbor has done, I’ve made a loss, even if it’s insignificant, I’m ready to tear it apart and I put man, created in the image of God, a member of Christ, for nothing, and I value some thing too highly, thereby exposing my vanity, my vanity, my pride and malice, my lack of faith. You especially need to restrain your anger at home - do not rage, do not get excited, do not shout at your wife, children, servants, relatives, especially when you always treat strangers meekly, respecting the image of God in man, and even treat animals meekly, respecting the work of God's hands. If you want people not to get annoyed with you when you do something incorrectly (and this is what you do), don’t get annoyed with others either. Despise things, but always respect people. God! Thank You for the quick salvation of my wretchedness in the gymnasium from inner tightness and embarrassment and for the gift of peace and boldness, light and words (3rd and 4th grades). I thank You, Lord, for You had mercy on me before the Liturgy in my house, when I cried out to You in my distress, which befell me for the sin of irritation and anger towards my wife, who spoiled my thing (a sweatshirt, not sewn as it should be). I repented, and You had mercy. But before that, how bad I felt, cramped, in what fire I burned! I thank You, Most Holy Lady, that You had mercy when I offered my prayer to You on my knees in the mentioned case. You raised me from the depths of hell into the light. If you want God to listen, the Lady Theotokos, the holy Angels and holy people to help you, to save you - listen to your brethren who are with you, especially the poor: be their brother, if you want the saints to be like brothers to you; be their father and mother, if you want the saints to be for you merciful fathers and mothers, quick helpers and quick to obey; help them yourself quickly, listen to them favorably. Remember that we must bear each other's burdens [Gal. 6:2], to help each other, to console each other, for we are the Church of God, the house of God, and in what kind of house do its members leave each other, do not care for each other? We are face to face with God and the saints when we pray to them; we must always remember this. The vivacity, warmth, concentration, and power of prayer depend on remembering this. A truly humble person considers himself worse and lower than everyone else, a servant of everyone, the first of those people who live unworthily in this world and enjoy the gifts of God - shelter, warmth, light, food, drink, clothing, etc., and in his thoughts and in his heart he does not despise anyone as a parasite, does not become embittered towards anyone, for he loves and honors everyone as brothers and sisters, for he honors man is the image of God, Who is love; also honors the members of Christ in his brethren, does not condemn others, but himself, does not say: he or she sleeps for a long time, gets up or stands up and does nothing, walked or passed in the wrong way, greeted in the wrong way, looked at the wrong way or eats, drinks a lot, dresses luxuriously - and does not listen to the spirit that internally incites with various empty excuses to be angry with one’s neighbor, because he sees that all this, all these incitements are aimed at violating God’s commandments, at violating love for God and neighbor, which is the fulfillment of the law, and he constantly listens to himself, constantly repents of his sins. He does not treat anyone rudely, but kindly, because he knows that rude treatment has a very unpleasant effect on him and on everyone; in general, the beginning and end of all his thoughts, words and deeds is the love of Christ, to which he reduces his entire life. For a true Christian, the sin of being a liar, a slanderer, a troublemaker, an obscurantist has long ago emerged from the faith. I deny and have denied you, he says, I have broken all ties with you; I am unceasingly united and united with Christ, my Savior, my truth and my life. August 22. I thank You, Lord, who gave me the grace of victory over invisible enemies, especially over my internal sins during the liturgy, and who helped me to perform the Divine service without stumbling and speak to the people of the royal house, despite the stumbling of the enemy who caught me in sin. I thank You, for You have granted me the grace to partake without condemnation into the world of my spiritual powers. I thank You, for many times on this day you saved me from my evils, from my pride, from my many different passions. The depths of mercy, long-suffering Lord, glory to Thee! (I cast my heart in Your power.) And I thank You, most holy, most blessed and all-powerful Lady, My Lady Theotokos, that You did not reject my prayer when I prostrated myself, unclean, evil, proud and disdainful, before Your icon and asked You for mercy, so that You could save me from my abominations, my malice, my pride and my contempt, but immediately, like lightning, she enlightened the eyes of my heart and with her lightning struck not me, a sinner, but my sins, my passions, burning them with the fire of Her Divinity. May my anger never overcome, O Lady, Your unspeakable goodness and mercy. I have become convinced a thousand times, or better yet, without number, that the worm of sin is vile, absurd, a dream, a lie, vanity, for example, greed for food and drink, passion for clothes, malice, impatience, vain anger, irritability, evil suspiciousness, envy, stinginess or pity, stubbornness, covetousness, condemnation. Why do I follow sin? At the great entrance to the liturgy, when you reprimand the persons of the royal house, reprimand them calmly, cheerfully, looking boldly at the people, but do not lower your gaze. Observe the people as [...], but do not be embarrassed and do not be confused by their gaze: they should fear you, and not you of them; [do not be embarrassed] if you celebrate the liturgy in concelebration with a bishop or archpriests, archimandrites or priests and hieromonks, because they are people just like you, with weaknesses and sins, and be bold in front of them, as if they were another you, as indeed they are. It is sinful and ridiculous to be embarrassed during a divine service, during which special boldness is needed for peace and freedom of spirit. People do not know future torment. Show and prove to them: show the cruelty of torment from those images that the Lord depicted in the Gospel (crying and gnashing of teeth, eternal fire, fiery hell, lake of fire, tartarus, etc.). From the experiences of life, show how, for example, those living in anger, hatred, envy, pride, stinginess, covetousness feel bad, how they are consumed by inner fire, what tightness, what bonds they are internally bound. It is still here when the goodness of God does not completely abandon us. What will happen to us when the goodness of God completely leaves us after the words of the Lord: Depart from Me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels [Matt. 25, 41]. Oh, horror! Weep, brothers, for your sins! Remember that the Son of God Himself came to save you, that to save you from eternal fire, the suffering and death of the eternal Son of God, co-originating with the Father and Spirit, was necessary! Will you renew yourself for the renewal of the church in which you serve? Here it is cleaned, decorated, renewed, all splendid after 12 years of standing in non-renewal. Will you not be renewed? Will you really not shake off the dust of sin in tears of repentance and in doing good to the commandments of Christ? Think: the Lord almost every day renews you with life-giving, essential 56 Mysteries, His Body and Blood, cleanses, enlightens, sanctifies, adorns, strengthens you, and you daily again desecrate the church of your body with gluttony, satiety and other passions. When will you be renewed through abstinence? Today the weather is bright, like God’s paradise, the whole world - why is your soul not light, not joyful? - From sins. You have corrupted the physical church through intemperance, overeating and drinking too much, and now your undertakings, the work of your hands, your wordless greed, have befallen you. You are sad and joyless: the weight of food and drink, which was pleasant yesterday, has now fallen upon you, and you no longer feel any sweetness, any pleasantness from eating meat and sweet drink. So vain are the pleasures of this age, so fleeting, so rough, so heavy-handed! When a glutton, fed up in the evening, begins to serve God in the morning, for example a priest, he feels weak, powerless to serve with all his heart, sincerely, and often stumbles, and then, when he makes a great effort on himself and prays with all his heart to the Lord for the cleansing of his sins and for the granting of Divine strength for sincere service, he will receive it and correct himself. Oh, how satiety kills the spirit! It is absolutely necessary to maintain abstinence, and not only in the evening, but also at night, to pray to God in order to support the spirit in its burning and love for God, so that the flesh does not become stronger and take over the spirit, which is shameful for a person. We all daily and gravely sin through negligence and inattention to our church not made by hands, that is, our body, desecrating it with gluttony, drunkenness, lustful thoughts, desires, deeds, malice, envy, covetousness, and passions. Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who lives in you, which you have from God, and you are not your own? [ 1 Cor. 6, 19]. Or: Don’t you know that you are the church of God? [ 1 Cor. 3, 16]. And exactly, we don’t seem to know this, we forget it. And we must always remember this great truth. Why are there so many drunkards, glutton-pleasing, money-lovers, generally covetous, fornicators among us? – From not remembering that we are the temple of the Holy Spirit. But if anyone destroys the church of God, God will punish him [1 Cor. 3, 17]. You see the renewed church of God, made with hands - renew your churches not made with hands by repentance and live holy. Works of love - unity and division: unity of hearts, division of property, food, drink, clothing, money, home. Sell ​​everything you have and give to the poor [Mk. 10, 21]. My citizenship and priesthood (after God, of course), my name and happiness depend on my wife and your relatives by wife, sisters and brothers. May I respect them, may I love them, may I deny myself for them, may I endure for them. Do not muzzle the threshing ox [Deut. 25, 4; 1 Cor. 9, 9]. Who stops my mouth when I work for the Lord, when I serve in His church or in the homes of believers? Only let each word be pronounced before the Lord with all your heart, with the memory of the Hypostatic Word, calmly, unhurriedly, truly. All the efforts of the devil are aimed at humiliating the Lord God through human pride, lack of faith, unbelief, or since he cannot do anything to the Lord God, he tries in every possible way to abuse His image, plunging him into various passions: anger, pride, envy, stinginess, covetousness, gluttony, drunkenness, fornication, theft, in general into addiction to earthly things, deception, lies, evil waywardness, stubbornness, disobedience, laziness, etc., - or through man, swearing at man - the image of God with cruelty, stinginess, fornication, etc., or instills contempt for the saints of God, or for the sanctified and venerable of the earthly Church, or for high and lofty persons on the one hand, and for the poor, lowly, on the other. Therefore, we all need, first of all, great humility, so that we can overthrow the pride of the enemy operating within us. August 25. Noon. 12 o'clock. I thank You, Lord, for now You have saved me several times from many evils (from enmity with the archpriest) and You have had mercy on me and granted me the grace to perform the Liturgy with a solemn voice, victoriously and to partake of the Holy Mysteries without condemnation, into the peace of spiritual strength and into the lightness of the face, and the royal house spoke well. Living God, omnipresent, all-good, all-holy, all-righteous! I thank Thee, for you never cease to have mercy on me in my inner beings. And now You have had mercy on the one who called me to You (five and a half o’clock in the evening of August 25). Bishop Palladius came to serve on the anniversary of the Council on August 26. At home I feel an incitement to anger at family, at guests, at church - at the archpriest (and he is meek, always kind to me, noble), or [the spirit of fear] covers the heart with a fog of embarrassment and fear and deprives it of the strength to pronounce the words and names of prayers, supplications, petitions, thanksgivings. Grant me the spirit of love at home, Lord, the spirit of boldness in the church! Take your time, just as Father Protodeacon takes his time. God! Grant me to always remember the law of retribution, retribution and not to be upset, not to be irritated at those who take what is mine (more than Yours, for I received everything from You), for either they will repay, or You, if they do not repay, or You have already forestalled me and have already rewarded me before giving alms. God! May there be no zeal in my heart for frequent guests from now on, may I not consider anything my own, may I have no predilection for earthly delights, may I preserve love for You and my neighbor, in whom Your image is reflected, which is Your member, Lord Jesus Christ, and my member, although in the flesh and in the place of birth and in origin and in rank it is not related to me, but in You, Lord, in Your image, in installed in him and in me, according to the rational soul, and according to the same structure of the body and the same requirements of the body and, of course, the soul, he is the closest relative to me, be it poor or rich, noble or ignorant, king or his subject, boss or subordinate, baby or old man, boy or youth, girl or boy, man or woman. Is this not what You want from us, Lord, that we may all be one [Jn. 17, 21 ]? Let us guard, let us guard the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace [Eph. 4, 3 ]! Grant therefore, O Lord, this grace, for behold, I see in my members another law, contrary to Yours, warring against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that is in my members [Rom. 7, 23], the law of alienation, pride, anger, pride, envy, stinginess, resistance and rebellion, waywardness and stubbornness, etc. Give me, Lord, the grace, as a father, to warm my children, to attract them with love, affection, meekness, kindness, to nourish them with Your blessings, to rest under the roof of my home. Do not lose the intelligence of your heart during worship, purity, sincerity and directness, calmness, freedom, courage and boldness. In order to have the strongest motivation to love God and one’s neighbor, to self-sacrifice out of love for God and one’s neighbor, look more often with the eyes of your heart and body at the cross: here you will read - God so loved the world, as He gave His only begotten Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish, but may have eternal life (note, he gave it to us, as if he gave it into our power, into our property) [In. 3, 16]. As I have loved you, declares the Lord, so should you love one another [Jn. 13, 34]. If He laid down His life for us: we also ought to lay down our lives for the brothers [1 Jn. 3, 16]. What is needed for this? – Crucify your pride, deny yourself, crucify the flesh with passions and lusts [Gal. 5:24] - pride, malice, greed, gluttony, lust for clothing, love of money, fornication, self-will, stubbornness, disobedience, evil zeal, etc. You, a Christian, would like to fulfill all the truth of the Gospel or Christ, but you feel your powerlessness for it, you constantly fall in the struggle with sin, you are often overcome by the evil inclinations of your heart, although you immediately triumph over them through the prayer of repentance and heartfelt contrition, you cry about your sins, you abhor them as an abomination, as a lie, and you hunger and thirst for holy truth, like a hungry man for food, like a lie. greatly thirsting for a cool drink - do not be discouraged and do not be afraid, my brother and fellow member, but only believe in the Lord, pay attention to yourself unceasingly, put on the full armor of God, defeat the mental Amalek everywhere, strive to fulfill the righteousness of Christ with all your might, and you will be blessed, and you will be satisfied with righteousness. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied through one unceasing hunger and thirst for future bliss [Matt. 5, 6]. Or does the untruth of others depress you and you cannot, through your own efforts, make the truth exist, sincerely desiring it in your soul? - Blessed are you for this, for you will never be satisfied. But see if you are poor in spirit, if you do not humiliate others in your soul, especially those in command, for some kind of shortcoming, for example, or equals, not to mention subordinates who fawn and caress us more and whom therefore we have no reason to humiliate, for they elevate us; Don’t you yourself want to be in charge, not having, however, sufficient abilities and a meek, humble, respectful, helpful spirit for that? Otherwise, woe to you, as one who has seized himself with satanic pride: you are a god, an idol for yourself, and if you do not know how to manage yourself, then how will you manage others, how will you teach others the poverty of the spirit when you yourself are exalted? We must learn to be always respectful from the bottom of our hearts to our superiors, both immediate and inferior, and to our superiors; childishly, in simplicity of heart, respectful, cover up their shortcomings or do not invent them, do not seek out maliciously, and God will cover yours too; always affectionate, sociable and friendly to equals; to the lower ones they are also affectionate and give everyone their due without partiality, caring for their well-being, both spiritual and material - and then, if God blesses, you can be a boss, but without these qualities do not take on leadership, for much will be demanded from the boss at the Judgment. Do not be seduced by the honors bestowed upon the rank: you must be worthy of these honors in your soul; if there is dishonor of passions in the soul, then external honors are one burden and, perhaps, after great honors here there, in another century, they will be rewarded with bitter dishonor. High ranks are attractive in appearance, but heavy in duty, in the responsibility with which they are connected: a great spirit is needed to carry these ranks. You, being not very tall, often envy a simple person who is responsible only for himself; Believe me, even in a high rank you would envy a simple person and would be ready to take his place. So, stick to God's limit and be humble. I thank Thee, most merciful Lord, for yesterday, during the bishop’s service in our Cathedral (August 26, Saturday), Thou didst vouchsafe me to partake without condemnation of Thy Holy Mysteries and revived me, especially when I read prayers of thanksgiving after communion. But I am surprised, my Master Lord, at the crowds that attack me during conciliar services and at the gathering of many people! How hard it can be internally! How both the heart and the tongue fail! O rapist, my enemy! O my oppressor! Thank you, Lord, for the gift of prayer and tears during the all-night vigil in the Duma Church. There were very few people. Bless the beggars who ask you for alms every day, just as you bless those who do not ask you for alms, willingly and kindly. For what a labor it is to bless with Christ’s blessing! But how precious is this blessing, obtained by the Savior from the Heavenly Father through the suffering and death of Him, the Only Begotten of the Father! But we, priests, are lazy to teach it and often teach it partiality, with servility to well-dressed and rich people, while we often do not honor the poor or bless them reluctantly, contemptuously! Oh, inattention! Oh, ingratitude! Oh, pride! Oh, evil! God! Do not take away Thy blessing from us or castigate it, and do not bring us, who bless in truth, to Thy curse according to our deeds. If you value the forgiveness from your Savior of your sins, which could destroy you forever, then prove this in the future by paying attention to yourself, by living a strict and severe life for the sake of Christ, who lifted the cross for you and tasted death; show self-control, meekness, kindness, mercy, obedience and other virtues. We must value the forgiveness of sins and not fall into the same or new ones, and not encourage God’s long-suffering to become indignant with us, the malicious and ungrateful. The way you treat people who come to visit you will show what you consider great: man created in the image of God, this priceless king of creatures, or food, drink, money, etc., this decay, dust trampled under foot; Don’t you equate this decay with man, don’t you put it more dear, above it? Don't you reveal your madness? Do you not humiliate your brother, a member of Christ, although you yourself seek respect and are offended immediately when they either treat you coldly or disrespectfully, or do not serve you sweet tea, or say an ambiguous word! Place love for God and neighbor and the peace of God, peace with your neighbors, above everything in this temporary world, above any shiny, or sweet, or soft and beautiful rubbish. The whole law is in love. The waves of sweets are heavy, the soul is heavy. Eat and drink sweetly, and look - and fornication will happen, unclean visions in dreams. Addiction to earthly goods: food and drink, money, clothing, housing - is almost always combined with hostility towards our neighbor, especially those who live with us and feed from us, and therefore let our soul hate everything earthly, and not have the slightest partiality. In addition, addiction to earthly things is combined with aversion from God, this source of living waters, and causes death to the soul, darkness, sorrow, cramped conditions, shame, humiliation; therefore, earthly things must be neglected all the more, but all our love must be directed towards God and our neighbor. An addiction to earthly things plunges a person into various excesses, into satiety, luxury, into immeasurable cares and worries, also into various passions, into games, into fornication. Addiction to earthly things makes us cold towards the most respectable persons when they need our material support, our money, our bread and salt, our clothes, our home, shelter; addiction to food, drink, greed makes us like wild animals, generally dumb animals. What an enemy, what a sin, addiction to earthly things! Show me above earthly and material desires, O Lord, having raised me from earth to heavenly love. Addiction to earthly things turns our eyes away from heaven and chains them to the earth, and the heart is chained to the earth, and this is ugly, insane. God! I thank You, for even today You have clearly had mercy on me several times, when I bowed my knees before You and cried out to You for my salvation. I thank You, for during the evening table you saved me from the violence of avarice and protected my soul with peace, you gave love to my brother Konstantin and taught and strengthened me to despise sweets, for the sake of which there was enmity against my brother before. I thank You, my consolation, my hope, my strength, my peace, my life! I thank You, for You have granted the mystery of baptism twice in peace and boldness, in the power of faith. I thank You, for you have filled me with earthly blessings in abundance, for you do not destroy me when I am satiated, but, always repenting to You, have mercy on me, have mercy on me, restore me from the fall, and do not take away my health, and do not corrupt my spiritual home, and most of all, you restore me with Your Divine Secrets. I thank You, for You do not deprive me of the light of my eyes; I always weep and weep a lot about my sins before You. But, O Master, teach everyone, like me, the indecent one, to recognize our sins and lament them, for we are all the work of Your hands, and do not destroy us with our iniquities, for all of us have diligently entertained the thought of evil from our youth [Gen. 8, 21]. Master! I pray to You, reconcile me to Archpriest Paul, our rector, as we have enmity against him, sometimes shouting loudly to him in the holy altar of Your church without need. Enlighten him, so that he may treat Your sanctuary with honor and may not lord it over Your inheritance, but may he be an example to the flock and brethren. Give me, Lord, patience, kindness, meekness, when I see his deeds that are contrary to You and people. Is anyone not worthy of a holy rank or another rank and title, as it seems to me? I am not worthy first of all and must pray unceasingly so that the Lord Himself, by His grace, will make us worthy servants of His, but not to despise my brethren, although unworthy, for I do not want me, the most unworthy, to be despised, but they taught, encouraged, comforted me and prayed for me, so that the Lord would make me worthy of His all-effective grace. It is dangerous to consider someone unworthy with your opinion, for someone who is unworthy in our opinion may be worthy according to God’s judgment, and we will gravely sin by despising and over-judging God’s judgment for our neighbor. Catholics, Lutherans, Reforms, Armenians - they worship the Lord in vain, teaching the teachings, the commandments of men [Matt. 15, 9; Mk. 7, 7]. We must patiently endure daily and various embarrassments caused by the enemy, and not lose heart from them, but put our trust in the Lord, who will not leave us to be tempted any more. The breath of the north wind is heavy - a thousand times heavier than the breath of Satan on the soul. But whoever cleaves tightly to God, the evil one does not touch him. He usually touches us, weak, obsessed with various addictions. The people of this world want the light of artificially composed and thrown fires to shine in their eyes, or for the light of candles and lamps to shine in their homes and meeting places; it seems that they want to be in the light, but this is only visible: look at their deeds - they are filled with darkness, at their faith - they either have no faith, or disappear, or give off the last weak flicker. They are partial to this temporary light, but there is no attraction or disposition towards the spiritual, true light. Moreover, this light costs a lot of money and is considered a luxury, but with God everything was created by number and measure and weight [Wis. 11, 21], and the very means of life, therefore those who resort to these pleasures without need and measure steal through this the property of the poor, hungry, naked, unprotected or sick and are to blame for their misfortune and poverty. We must seek the non-evening light through exercise in deeds of love, the imperishable light. As the animal source of faith dries up in a person’s thoughts and heart, as he deviates from the life-giving consolations of faith, he seeks sources of consolation that are vain, soul-destroying and that accelerate the decay and destruction of the body itself, such as: pleasure in food and drink, drunkenness, theater, etc. Remain hungry yourself, but do not hate your brother who sits at your table without your consent, although he often comes to you. For he who hates his brother is a murderer [1 Jn. 3:15] and in one minute, in one instant, destroys the entire law, which all consists of loving one’s neighbor as oneself; in addition, everything that we have is God’s, not yours - common, and not yours only, and also because everything is added to those who seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, the hand of the giver will not fail [Prov. 28, 27]. We must remember the legend about the feeding of five thousand with five loaves and two fish. The widow of Zarephath of Sidon, who nourished the prophet Elijah - the most holy prophet Elijah, who was miraculously fed by corvids according to God’s dispensation. A widow wife, for whom Saint Elisha the prophet multiplied the oil in the jug so that she could pay the debt to the lender. When the sky is clear, then a person feels better, but when the sky is gray, watery, low-lying clouds, then a person feels heavy. So it is in the spiritual world: when evil spirits rush around on the spiritual horizon, then it is hard for the soul, and when they fly away and the horizon of the soul becomes clear, then it is easy for the soul. Sometimes with a large crowd of people it can be very difficult: people will come out and it will be easy. Why is this? Because evil spirits fly with people, and when they leave, they, the evil companions, fly away. I thank You, Lord my God, for you surprised me, a sinner, with Your mercy, consuming sins with your most pure Flesh and Blood like thorns with fire, removing the kindled arrows of the evil one and protecting my soul with the coveted world, hitherto troubled by the slander of demons. August 29, 1867. Tuesday. I thank You, for during the all-night vigil on the day of the holy blessed Grand Duke Alexander Nevsky, You saved me several times from malice and did not disgrace my face, but You mercifully enlightened Your face on Your unworthy servant, and You inspired the brethren to love as if they were their own flesh and blood, and to attribute their envy to a common enemy ours. We must remember that we constantly walk before the face of God and the righteous Judge and we must entrust ourselves to Him in joy and sorrow, in insults and in favor, in happiness and misfortune, in illness and health. We must remember that all people living today are an insignificant part of the entire human race that has lived here and passed on to another world, that we will all appear in judgment before the Lord, Whom every knee will worship, that we live here before countless witnesses of our life - Angels and men, and most importantly - before God. The priest is exalted above all those standing in the church (not in the altar), like a shepherd above the sheep (who should a shepherd fear?), like a servant of the King of Heaven above the servants of the king of the earth, like a father above his children. During prayer, believe that the Lord takes a living part in our prayer as a living God - if only we accepted and did not doze off. The enemy inspires adulterous, dreamy fear during prayer, entertaining the mind and heart with dreams, but one must completely cleave one’s thoughts and hearts to God and not be afraid of his fear or be embarrassed. Let us not be afraid of his fear, let us be troubled, for God is with us [Isa. 8, 12]. Crucify self-love, and not be offended when we are not given due honor or brotherly love or when we are shown enmity, envy, oppression, theft of property, etc. for the sake of Christ, for the sake of His holy Gospel and the Kingdom of Heaven. How can I not be humble? On the one hand, I am only earth and ashes, on the other - a sinful abomination, sinful feces, extreme weakness; of my own good - not at all, everything is God’s, for without Him I cannot even think of anything good from myself [2 Cor. 3, 5]. The pride of the Lucifer destroyed us - Divine humility, the humility of the God-man, the Virgin Mother of God, must lead us to life. It’s none of my business, he himself has age and reason and will, he himself can judge his actions and decide to do them or not, just as he himself can give an account of his words; and I, as a subordinate person, must know myself and only direct or correct subordinates in their actions. This is how I should treat a boss or an elder and not stop him in his speeches and actions, sometimes unreasonable, but remain silent and especially not have zeal, bitterness and irritability when he says something that is not true or does something bad. We must remain silent, reluctantly, and endure. We must be kind to the enemy as well as ourselves, knowing that this is the law of the Lord Jesus Christ, that we are His body and that malice, malice, enmity, hatred, envy are the incitement of the devil, that he who hates his brother is a murderer [1 John. 3, 15 ]; hatred and malice cannot be justified by anything, not even by zeal for the glory of God. We must constantly look to the example of the Lord Jesus Christ, the gentle Lamb; being slandered, He did not slander each other; while suffering, he did not threaten, but handed it over to the Righteous Judge [1 Pot. 2, 23]. And we will commit ourselves and each other and our whole life to Christ our God, our Provider and Judge. We must believe that God works through the ruler, working everything in everyone [1 Cor. 12:6] for our good, for the existing authorities were established by God, and that whoever resists the authority, for example, of an archpriest, opposes God’s establishment. But those who resist will bring upon themselves condemnation [Rom. 13, 1 – 2]. Do not resist the (rational) reasonable orders of your boss. Hold on to peace and love, knowing that there is nothing more valuable than these spiritual treasures, before which all shiny things, everything pleasant in the world are nothing. August 30, 1867 Cathedral service. Lost at the royal house: terrible opposition from the enemy. What a crowd after this, which lasted until four and a half o'clock in the afternoon! However, this is both necessary and necessary for the sake of humility and patience. You have to endure something from the enemy, but I myself truly know that I am a servant of God and an enemy of the devil, for those who do not tolerate the dirty tricks of the enemy thereby, that is, by being free from his wiles, show that they are not his enemies, but saints, therefore he will not touch them. And it often hurts me. God! Strengthen Your servant and do not allow me to become discouraged and lose heart from the cruel dirty tricks of the dirty trickster whom You gave me, so that I do not exalt myself above my brethren. Whether you drink, eat, dress, sew, trade, or whatever else you do - remember that you are called to the Heavenly Fatherland and think about eternal life there and have no addiction to sweets, clothes, earthly acquisitions, knowing that all this will leave you, all this will be taken away from you (how good is it to deprive yourself in advance of both food and drink, and in expensive and elegant clothes, and in money, and in the furnishings of the home, and in pleasures, so that it is not too painful to part with all this suddenly, so that in the last days and hours of life the heart does not cleave entirely to corruptible things instead of the living God). But spare nothing for anyone’s needs, just as you do not spare yourself, not considering anything out of your pride to be your property, but God’s property and common. Don’t be jealous of those who don’t know what to do with their huge fortune (it’s strange - they don’t know what to do with when there are millions of poor people) and plant gardens for themselves, build huge and magnificent houses, lose at cards, sew expensive dresses, have rich furnishings for their temporary home, rich dishes, have rich carriages with expensive horses and shiny harnesses, spend hundreds and thousands on their pleasures, while at the same time sparing the poor a few kopecks for bread or a few rubles for clothes, for renting a vehicle, for attaching it to some place, to some position. And you, servant of Christ, lavish your gifts on the poor and poor, knowing to whom you lend, giving to the poor - hold on to your hope. Remember eternal life, in which an eternal abode is being prepared for you, be zealous about fulfilling the commandments of God, endure to the end - and you and your whole household will be saved, if it is of the same mind to you. Servant of God, despise the womb, which is the enemy of the Christian life! Despise money, which chains the thoughts of the heart to the ground! Despise elegant clothes, which turn the eyes of the heart away from God and heavenly beauty; despise richly decorated dwellings, for they turn a Christian’s gaze away from the bright abodes of heaven. You are having fun carefree (not caring about your soul, which is all in the strings of passions) - but what did the Lord and your Teacher do for you? What did he command you to do? You do not even look at His words, at His Gospel, you neglect the Christian life that you promised to lead at Baptism, in the Sacrament of Repentance. You play games like children, although you have a perfect mind, and you are not at all concerned with the most important matter of saving the soul - a matter that is higher and more important than anything else on earth, for which the Lord Himself came down from heaven, suffered, and died. Whether you celebrate Angel Day with anyone, you gather not for soul-saving conversations, as you should, not for reasoning about the life of the holy saint, with which he pleased the Creator of all and his Savior, and about imitation of him, but for idle talk, for playing cards, for dancing, as Herod’s daughters danced on Herod’s birthday, etc., and you do all this calmly, as if this is how it should be, not thinking about how by these deeds you anger the Lord of life, Who gave you temporary life in preparation for eternal life, Who commanded you to stay awake at all times. And here is your wakefulness: you stay awake all night over cards, and in church you doze off when you come to stand for an hour or two. Is this how you engage in matters of Christian calling! Or is the name of a Christian just an empty sound? Anna Konstantinovna, my sister, is a smart girl, respectable, [...]. Holy Father! In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, Your beloved, co-original and co-essential Son, I thank You, as I, who call upon You, listen favorably and quickly save me from my evils, always beholding You with the eyes of my heart, as if I were near me, seeing, listening, witness of all my inner paths. I also thank You, Most Immaculate Lady, as you, calling upon You in the sorrow and crampedness of sin, save both peace and space. Even now, several times, we have been vouchsafed the grace to receive from the Heavenly Father, who is cheerful, who constantly sees, who does not close His eyes, to see all the paths and undertakings of men, to judge everyone righteously and reward everyone according to their wealth. O innumerable blessing! Become wise and establish your life in love. I am a miracle of God's mercy and patience! Proskomedia must be performed every time with tears of tenderness, surprise, thanksgiving, and praise. (God sacrifices Himself for people.) He who is insolent towards man is also insolent towards God. Cain. Many of us. Respect the majestic, priceless image of God in man and be patient with the mistakes and errors of fallen man, so that the Lord will be patient with yours too. Remember that the enemy of God and the human race, unable to pour out his anger on God, intensifies to pour it out on His image - on man, as well as to take out all his impurities, his darkness, his pride, envy, etc. on him. Respect the person, save him; Take care of yourself: don’t get irritated, don’t be embittered, don’t envy, don’t offend, don’t lie, don’t commit fornication, don’t steal, etc. I thank You, Lord my God, for You have saved my evil behavior this morning several times through my prayer to You. Most gracious, glory to Thee! I also thank You, my Most Holy Lady Theotokos, for You heard me, when I cried out to You with all my heart, and You saved me from the oppression of sin, from the shame and humiliation of sin. September 2 days 1867. 10th hour. God! I thank You for the gift of evening and morning prayer (September 1st in the evening and 2nd in the morning), as with every word of prayer You were with me, in my heart, and You quickly drove away despondency, sleep and laziness and pacified me and revived me. Glory to Your unspeakable love for mankind. God! Remember at this hour your sick sufferer John! Do not torture your brother, lest the Lord God torture you with His righteous judgment. God! Forgive me for my irritation and anger towards the beggar, who often deceived me, for I myself have lied before You tenfold, promising to repent and still remaining uncorrected, promising to use Your gifts according to Your will and not using them as You want. Think how much the beggar has endured until now and how calmly you lived, in what poverty he lived and in what contentment you lived, in what kindness, servility you lived and in what abuse, in what neglect, contempt he lived. He is abandoned by everyone - you are pleasant to everyone, surrounded, revered. Caress your brother, may God caress you and good people. Always love your neighbor, help him in his need, so that you will always find ready help from God and may your face not be ashamed. As if it is not for nothing that we receive from God the gifts of His goodness, torturing our neighbors to whom we give alms, as if these rubles and pennies cost us our lives, that we sometimes value them more than the face of our neighbor. Oh, self-love! O covetousness! Oh, the untruth that cries out to heaven! What if the Lord wants to judge us the way we judge our neighbors, with such severity! It is necessary to treat everyone meekly, condescendingly, lovingly. We must remember our extreme weaknesses and sins. Food and drink are fragrant and sweet for a few minutes, but an hour later there is a stench and often heaviness and bitterness. What is durable on earth? Is it glory, greatness, wealth, secular gatherings, rich feasts, beauty, splendor of clothes, vessels, various things, done more for show, for vain splendor, than for need? Everything, everything will pass. And we are people, eternal beings, we are promised eternal life, and it is unreasonable to have an attachment to temporary, vain, perishable things. We must be wise on high and look not at the visible, says the Apostle, but at the invisible: for the visible is temporary, but the invisible is eternal [2 Cor. 4, 18]. Our soul is simple, like a thought, and quick, like a thought and like lightning. In an instant it can be wounded by sin, cling to corruptible things, in an instant it can fall away from the love of God and neighbor, from a single unrighteous thought, from a single passionate desire, and therefore we must constantly be on guard of our hearts, so that we do not deviate into the words or thoughts of wickedness, but let us always remain in the simplicity and purity of God, in the love of God and our neighbor. It is not good if priests are rich: they will become proud, will not serve their poor spiritual children, and will lose their fatherly and heavenly spirit. Without being satiated, I willingly go to spiritual needs and to visit, but when I am satiated, I go with difficulty, and you won’t be able to visit me for spiritual communication with my neighbors. And I’ll lose the gift of spiritual conversation, satiated. All authorities and superiors serve my good, my salvation - why not love them? On the contrary, I must respect them, love them, help them. A Christian, immeasurably blessed by God, must have a subtle, tender feeling of God’s blessings, God’s love, but this feeling becomes coarser, dulled greatly by gluttony, covetousness, satiety, drunkenness; Therefore, he needs extreme abstinence. He needs to have elevated thoughts, a mind that philosophizes on the high, but earthly attachments incline the mind to the earth, making it earthly. September 2nd. Saturday evening. I thank You, Lord my God, for You have granted me grace and strength to perform the Divine Liturgy without stumbling, although in the presence of the visible machinations of the enemy, and to partake without condemnation of Your Divine Mysteries, and also to perform a prayer service before the image of the Iveron Mother of God. (Missed seven words due to violence by the enemy or false fear from him.) September 3, 1867 Resurrection. That which our old man has an aversion to, for example, prayer, serving our neighbors, especially the sick or food, and generally unpaid work, must be loved, because it is very useful for us, cleansing and strengthening our soul and body, and that which our old man strives for and has an addiction to, for example, untimely and excessive eating and drinking, smart clothes, various amusements, games, etc., must be despised, because that all this is very harmful for us, relaxing our soul and body. For the most part, it happens the opposite: we greedily strive for food and drink, clothing, and entertainment, but we turn away from work that requires our efforts, sobriety, and selflessness, and run away, and thereby greatly harm ourselves physically and spiritually. The entire Russian Church remembers the royal house by name at the Great Litany and at the Great Entrance - how can you not remember? Remember all the faces as one, remember from the heart, as yourself, with faith. General Troparion to the Saints, tone 8. Torture (Church Glav.) – test, test, question; demand, ask back. Those who trust in the Lord are terrible to their enemies, and everyone is amazed at them, for they direct their gaze to heaven. Antiphon 3rd at Matins, tone 6th. Prisny (Church Slavic) – always close, dear. Dream (church glory) – ghost, seduction, deception. Stay (Church Slavic) – from “abide” – to remain, to last forever. To remain silent (obsolete) – to remain silent. Smart pigs are demons, evil spirits (“smart” means spiritual). Contempt (church glory) - arrogance, arrogance, conceit. Charming (Church Glav.) – deceptive, false, misleading, seductive. Prezelny (Church Glav.) – great, abundant. Carry (carry, not) (church-glav.) - no, no. Akathist to the Sweetest Jesus, Kontakion 8. Troparion for the Feast of the Annunciation. Tune (Church Glav.) - for free. Irmos of the 9th song of the canon at Matins, tone 8. Paki (Church Slavic) - again. Lepo (Church Glav.) - decent, appropriate, follows. Ever (Church Glorious) - always. Pokoliku (Church Glav.) – how much. Tochiyu (Church Glorious) - only. Under – the lower part of the stove on which fuel is placed and burned. Koliky (Church Glorious) - how great, how many. Ouds (Church Slavic) – members of the body. Irmos 5 songs of the canon at Matins on Holy Saturday. Verbal (church glory) - spiritual, mental. Meaningfully (church glory) - with understanding, reasonably. From the follow-up of the Sacrament of Confession. That is, it returns to the sinner himself and brings suffering. Chaff (tares) - chaff, everything small that is winnowed from the grain during its threshing. He will burn the chaff with fire (Matthew 3:12). The troparion is from the observance of the Midnight Office and is also sung at Matins on the first three days of Holy Week. Kontakion “Do not entrust me to human intercession...”. Theotokos “Every creature rejoices in You, O Gracious One...”. Ktitor (Greek) – depositor, trustee of a church or monastery, church warden. Integrity (church glory) – simplicity, purity, kindness. Navetnik (Church Slavic) – one who encroaches on God’s creation (from “to slander” - to encroach). Inertia (Church Slavic) – slowness, hesitation. In the hedgehog (church glory) - so that. The 1st prayer of the lamp at Vespers. Troparion from the rite of burial and requiem. An attempt on the life of Emperor Alexander II occurred in Paris on May 25, 1867. The Minister of Internal Affairs telegraphed on this occasion: “...Divine Providence protected the Sovereign Emperor. Today, at about 5 o'clock in the afternoon, on the way back through the Boulogne Park after a military review, a pistol shot was aimed at the carriage in which were both Emperors and Grand Dukes, the Heir Tsarevich and Vladimir Alexandrovich. The shot... did not touch anyone, but wounded the horse of the horseman accompanying the crew. The criminal was immediately captured...” He turned out to be a twenty-year-old native of the Volyn province, a Pole, by the name of Berezovsky. He emigrated to France two years before the incident and lived in Paris. For several days the criminal was looking for an opportunity to make an attempt on the life of the Sovereign Emperor. His double-barreled pistol was torn apart by too strong a charge, and at the same time the direction of the bullet was evaded. That is, God becomes a man in order to make Adam a god. Stichera for Glory and now for Praise, Matins of the Feast of the Annunciation. Renewing (Church Slavic) – new being, rebirth, renewed life. Krashenin - made from dyed homespun fabric. Milot (Church Slavic) - sheepskin, coarse outerwear made of sheep's wool. Prayer of St. Macarius the Great to God the Father “Eternal God...” from the sequence of prayers for the sleep of the future. True (Church Slavic) – authentic. Antiphon for Matins, tone 4. Poeliku (Church Glorious) – because. To be born by water and the Spirit is to be reborn in the Sacrament of Baptism. Glazet (French) is a type of brocade with a colored silk base and gold or silver patterns woven on it. Creation (church glory) - creation, re-creation; transformation, affirmation. Pre-existent (Church Slavic) – supernatural, inexplicable, divine. Okleni (Church Slavic) - from “curse” - to curse, to give something the force of an oath, a curse. You might be interested in: