ДАРОВАНИЯ

May the Lord strengthen you: He allows His beloved to become weary, as the Fathers put it, and then little by little He shows them His spiritual gifts. I hope that the merciful Lord, seeing your and my will, will allow us to live for some time for our souls, and not for one temporary thing. 66. In your condition, I recognize the visitation of God’s mercy: the witness of this mercy is the peace of God, which poured out on you and revealed to you the mystery of the Cross of Christ. But at the same time it must be admitted that in this state there was a lot of blood impurity. You will notice this yourself if you remain silent and curb every hot, impetuous feeling - introduce a quiet and peaceful feeling instead. I would like you to get out of this state: it is beyond your power. Be safe and be safe! May the merciful Lord grant you to move into another state, less dangerous, more spiritual and more useful: this state is contrition of the spirit from the sight of the fall of man and the redemption of us by the Savior. Many Holy Fathers, abounding in humility and spiritual reasoning, when - unexpectedly - some special spiritual gift was manifested in them, they prayed to God to take away from them this gift, which was beyond their power. “If your deeds,” said the Monk Isaac of Syria, “are pleasing to God, and He will give you a gift, then beg Him to give you understanding on how to humble yourself, or to set a guard over the gift, or to take the gift from you, so that it will not be the cause of your destruction: because not everyone can possess this wealth harmlessly.” In a state in which the ascetic, with altered or refined bodily senses, hears voices, smells fragrances, and sees phenomena, the devil can very easily replace the Truth with something of his own, giving it his guise of Truth, and incurably damage the soul of an inexperienced and young ascetic. It is much more sublime and safer to contemplate the depth of the fall and the high mystery of redemption through refined repentance and changed by the Spirit thoughts and heartfelt sensations, to plunge through spiritual, immaterial action into the abyss of humility, into the sea of ​​reverence and wonder for God. Again I quote the words of St. Isaac: “He who has felt his sins is better than he who raises the dead with his prayer and dwells with many. He who sighs in his soul is better than he who benefits the whole world with his vision. He who is worthy to see himself is better than he who is worthy to see the Angels; because the second’s sensual eyes were opened, and the first’s spiritual ones.” Give your body a moderate amount of food and sleep, keep yourself silent, mindful, and humble. From your present state, try to observe the effect of the “peace of Christ” and the knowledge of the Cross of Christ. And from the state of refined bodily feelings, as from a very dangerous state that exceeds your strength, may the merciful Lord deliver you. – In your monastery library there is a written book by St. Isaac of Syria. Read in it the 55th Word to St. Simeon the Wonderworker. You won’t understand everything here, but what you understand will bring you significant benefit. 129. You might be interested in: