Плач и моление ко Христу

1. Woe is me! I hasten to heaven, to God’s abode; but this flesh holds me: there is no way out for me from a multi-wandering life, from the hated sin that tied me to the earthly, deafening me from everywhere with sudden worries that give beauty and gifts to the soul. But You, King, release me, release me from earthly bonds, and bring me into heavenly life! 2. My mother, why did you give birth to me when you gave birth to labor? Why did you come to this life strewn with thorns? If you yourself lived carefree, as if disembodied; then this is a great miracle. And if you suffered too; It was not out of love for me that she gave birth to me. Everyone follows his own path of life: one is a farmer, and another is a sailor; another was some kind of trapper, and the other armed his hand with a spear; another is a skilled singer, another is a winner in the field. But my lot is God; my destiny is to endure many sorrows, to suffer here from a painful illness. Torment, torment me, villain, until the time comes! Soon I will leave you with joy, and with you all the grave disasters. My mother, why did you give birth to me, when I can neither comprehend nor express God in my thoughts, as much as I wish? True, the eyes of my mind were illuminated by some small illumination of the heavenly, equally luminous Trinity; but most of it (to my sorrow) eluded me, passing quickly like lightning, before I was satisfied with the light. And if here I could comprehend You, beloved Trinity; then I would not have complained about the mother’s womb that gave birth to me: that would mean that I was born at a good hour. But save, save me, God’s Word; and having taken it out of the bitter mire, lead it into another life, where a pure mind, not covered by a darker cloud, rejoices before You, O Most Bright One! 3. Oh, I'm unhappy! What will happen to me? How can I avoid vices by hiding my life in the depths or in the clouds? They say that there is a country where there are no animals or diseases; Oh, if only there was a place free from sin so that I could escape there! One took refuge on land from the troubled sea, another escaped under a shield from a spear, and under the roof of a house from cold snow. And sin is comprehensive - a vast and inevitable kingdom. Elijah ascended to heaven in a chariot of fire. Moses escaped the once-definition of a child killer - a torturer. Innocent Jonah escaped from an unknown death in the belly of a whale. Daniel was delivered from the beasts, and the youths from the tribe. But how can I get rid of sin? Save me, my King Christ! 4. Woe is me, my Christ! The serpent came to me again. Alas for me! came to me very frightened. Alas for me! I have eaten from this tree of knowledge. Alas for me! envy assured me that I was envied. I did not become God, and I was removed from the place of pleasure. Extinguish a little, O sword, your scorching flame, and again take me under the canopy of the trees of paradise, like the thief who ascended there with Christ from the tree of the cross! 5. Alas! I feel cramped in this world; I know that most of my life has passed, and I already smell like a dead man; and my vices do not want to be destroyed along with the years of my life. Or extend my time, Breath of men; or deliver me from evil! This is the work of Your goodness. And if this does not please You; then I'm already dead. What else is there more? Is there a merciful fire waiting for me? 6. Alas! I feel cramped both in life and at the end of life. Here is sin, and there is punishment. I stand in the middle, afraid of the fiery river. I hope more in You, Christ, than in the exploits here. If I had the opportunity, at least somewhat, to cleanse myself; that would be the best thing. But if evil constantly multiplies in me; then it’s time to resolve it before a worse fate befalls me. 7. What coercion is this! Have I entered into life? - Wonderful! But why am I overwhelmed by the worries of life? I'll say the word; it is bold, but I will say it nonetheless. If I were not yours, Christ; I would be offended by this. We are born into the world, we get tired, we are full, we sleep, we are awake, we walk and we are sick and healthy; We have both pleasures and labors. But everything on earth also enjoys the seasons and the sun. And animals also die and rot in their bodies, which, indeed, are despicable, but are not subject to responsibility. What is my advantage? In nothing but God; and if I were not Yours, Christ, this would become an insult. 8. I was deceived, my Christ, and having trusted too much in You, I flew high, and fell very deeply. But lift me up again; for I realize that I have deceived myself. And if I become arrogant again; then let me fall again, and let my fall be crushing! If You accept me, I am saved; and if not, then I am lost. But is Your goodness exhausted for me alone? You might be interested in: