Letters on the Christian Life

Contents 1. About work and self-compulsion 2. About tears 3. About surrendering oneself to the will of God 4. About prayer, meditation and reading 5. About prayer 6. The same 7. The same 8. About soaring the mind 9. About devotion to the will of God 10. About the purpose of human creation 11. About preparation for repentance 12. About fasting 13. About monasticism 14. About sadness and repentance 15. About prayer 16. About the grace of the Holy Spirit 17. About grief 18. About inattention to oneself 19. About being with the Lord 20. About prayer, reading and handicrafts 21. About Catholic error 22. About sobriety 23. About the harm of deviating from order in spiritual life 24. About prayer Jesus 25. About the attention of the mind 26. About the fear of God 27. About attention to yourself 28. About sobriety 29. About the Jesus Prayer 30. About the narrow path leading to eternal bliss 31. About thoughts, attention and fall 32. About perseverance in prayer and about attire 33. About confusion of thoughts 34. About monastic solitude 35. The same 36. The same 37. About being sent to answer questions about the fight against sin 38. About how to be saved 39. About loneliness in a monastery 40. About the harmful influence on us from the West and about timidity 41. About the Communion of the Holy Mysteries of Christ 42. About a book against the Orthodox Church 43. About the theater 44. About pride and vanity 45. About the Providence of God and about humility 46. About surrendering oneself to the will of God 47. About faith 48. About freethinkers 49. About prostrations 50. About the false prophetess 51. About the article “On the Jesus Prayer” and the life of Father Seraphim 52. About entertainment and acquaintances 53. About the Sacrament of Communion of the Body and Blood of the Lord 54. About peace-loving people 55. About entertainment 56. About non-judgment of others 57. About temptation 58. About spending time and choosing friends 59. About keeping yourself in society 60. About an inquisitive mind 61. About anger 62. About thinking about God 63. About crying 64. About temptation 65. About holy truth 66. About fasting 67. About prayer 68. About prayer and bowing 69. About homelessness 70. About insult 71. About cards and theater 72. About seclusion 73. About the outburst of the heart 74. About the article “The Beginning of Christian Life” 75. About the teachings of St. John Chrysostom 76. About the books of Saints Macarius and Isaac the Syrian 77. About the appeal to St. Isaac the Syrian 78. About reading the Scriptures 79. About Christian life and wrong concepts 80. About the grace of God 81. The same 82. About the wickedness hidden in the corrupted will of man 83. About the correction of sinful life 84. About sobriety and good consideration 85. About tempting thoughts 86. About warning yourself from falling 87. About the application to the laity of the rules of salvation written for monks 88. About the narrow and spacious path in this life 89. About fasting 90. About gossip 91. About strangers and wanderers 92. About warfare and quarrels 93. About conceit 94. About dispersion 95. About anger 96. About vanity 97. The same 98. About the church of God 99. About the purpose of the sermon Appendix A. Seven words in the weeks preparing for Great Lent, and for the first week of Great Lent In the week of the tax collector and the Pharisee (What makes up complete righteousness, or all-encompassing virtue) In the week of the prodigal son (Repentance is the direct and unforgettable path of salvation, not righteousness) In the week of meat-eating (About the Last Judgment) In the week of cheese-eating (The main feeling of the heart is sadness: our nature cries for a lost paradise) On Wednesday of the week of the first week of Great Lent (softening and contrition of the heart alone replaces all the rules and all the guidelines on how to prepare for repentance) On the heel of the week of the first week of Great Lent (We will arrange midnight silence in our souls and thus meet the Lord) On Saturday of the week of the first week of Great Lent (We received a doctor and all-effective healing according to the Holy Communion) B. About the correction of the heart About the fight against sin About the grace of the All-Holy Spirit Lord, help you to be greatly strengthened by His spirit, and you need to take care of this, and if you are ill, if you are not collected within yourself, and when you are sick, turn to the Lord. This cannot be obtained on your own; but it doesn’t come without difficulty. From there and from here it is necessary, but it is necessary. First, God created light, and then gathered it into luminaries. So it is with us. There is goodness, but it is scattered or spilled. We need to bring everything into one. And, it seems, the soul asks for this... but it doesn’t guess. And most importantly, there is self-pity. Lord have mercy on us! Without work and self-compulsion we will not succeed in anything. Even just a little bit, you have to force yourself, even if just by a hair's breadth. When there is zeal and zeal, everything will go well. But true jealousy is merciless towards itself. Is there more to it and is the foundation good? – The foundation is here: a deep feeling of sinfulness and irresponsibility before God. All hope then is the Savior; - and hence the incessant: Lord have mercy! You often cry, as I conclude from previous speeches and the incident that you described. There are tears from weakness of heart, from great softness of character, from illness, and others forcefully irritate themselves to cry, there are tears from grace. The price of tears is not determined by the water flowing from the eyes, but by what happens in the soul during and after them. Not having the grace of tears, I do not undertake to talk about them, I can only guess that grace-filled tears are connected with many changes in the heart. The main thing is that the heart must then burn in the fire of God’s judgment, but without pain and regret, but with tenderness, brought by hope from the throne of the merciful God, who judges sin and has mercy on the sinner. It also seems to me that these tears should come at the end of labor - not external, but labor on the purification of the heart - as the last washing or rinsing of the soul. Also, they happen not for an hour, not a day or two, but for years. Also, they say, there is a kind of crying of the heart without tears, but just as valuable and strong as tears. The latter is better for those living with others who can see. Yet the Lord who saves everyone builds! It’s trouble when a person is full and content in his heart, but when he’s hungry and poor, it’s so good. A beggar, even in the cold, runs through the windows and begs. Would he go if he had a piece of bread? When trouble is felt, then there is no end to a person’s troubles and labors. Same with the heart! When the feeling of misfortune, poverty and hunger touches him, it gives neither body nor soul peace. Do this and move on to the other. Then there is no place for self-pity, and all work is not work. And the Lord sends hunger and misfortune to those who pray and ask. This is a sign of health. The patient has no appetite; He’s full, even though he hasn’t eaten for weeks. Lord have mercy on us! A bird tied with a short thread will flutter and fall, flutter and fall. When the thread is long, the bird will fly high and fly far, but everything will be attracted to the same place. If not for the thread, the bird would have flown away to the red meadows. And the birds fly in large cages, but they are not all free. How to break away? When fire threatens someone tied, he will jerk so hard that he will break an iron chain, let alone a weak thread. So it’s not a big deal: we need to spark trouble around. But everything has its time, although why not time, sometimes it’s our fault. It’s better not to make any plans – neither for the monastery, nor for the monastery; for that is not the strength. You have to hurt and disturb your insides so as not to fall asleep. In the dream, Sampson was tied up and shaved and deprived of his strength. When there is a monastery in the heart, then whether the building is a monastery or not is all the same. This is what is in the heart of a monastery: God and soul. However, when God brings you to the monastery, you must go. Just don’t guess again about what you will meet there. You can't even imagine it. Everyone there meets what they need. For one, everything is different from the other. It is better to surrender to the will of God and accept everything as if from His hand. Help you, Lord, to gain wisdom for salvation! The whole thing is not difficult and not complicated. The main thing is a good start. Once a start is made, everything will go well on its own. But how to start is difficult to explain. “Where the spirit wants, it breathes, and you hear its voice, but do not know where it comes from and where it goes. Thus is every man born of the Spirit” (John 3:8). You need to pray and the Lord will give you everything, for He is gracious. There are few places where the door of the heart will open, and now He will. You must have only a sincere and decisive desire and not mix things up; and one thing is one thing. The prophet reproaches: “How long will you worship on both your molds?” (1 Kings 18:21). And the Apostle: “A double-minded man is unsettled in all his ways” (James 1:8). And the Lord: “You cannot work for God, even Mamon” (Luke 16:13). That's one thing, that's one thing. “Mary has chosen the good part. There is only one thing that is needed” (Luke 10:42). When this force uniting all aspirations comes, then where will everything come from? Everything will go fine. Let us pray that the Lord will give us this strength. Some people have a lot of good things, but they are broken, fragmented, scattered, like parts of a broken glass vessel. Fire will come and pour them into a vessel in honor, boiling them first with itself. You ask what does it mean to ignite trouble around you? This is a deep sense of the danger of one’s position and the extreme danger from which there is no other salvation than in the Lord Jesus Christ. This feeling will drive us to the Lord and make us cry out incessantly: help, protect! All the saints had it and never left them. Opposite to it is a feeling of contentment with one’s position, which calms a person and extinguishes in him all concern for salvation. I'm full, and what else? I didn’t mean only the memory of sins, but in general the feeling that there was nowhere to go except the Lord. Don't you have anything to tell in confession? This is because you are righteous. Let us pray that the Lord will make you a sinner, that is, that the tax collector’s voice will come to you: “God, be merciful to me, a sinner!” Pray: “Grant me to see my sins...” Meanwhile, work and learn to walk before the Lord. As you become more proficient in this, you will begin to descend from the steps of righteousness to an environment where there are sinners... and when you join their number, then you will not be able to list all your sins. It is not just a matter of sin; but thoughts, feelings and desires can also be sinful. The latter are not visible; for there is no eye that looks into the heart: this is righteousness. This eye cannot look when it is covered with vanity like dust. Walking before the Lord means not taking your attention away from Him; – this is the goal. But to think a little about Him and give up, that’s not it. When he comes, the Lord will judge thoughts and thoughts. So the sins will be revealed, and there will be so many of them that it’s a disaster! Prayer, meditation, reading, all these are different subjects. Prayer, a painful fall to God in contrition and humility. She can, they say, without bowing. For example, out of need, in the presence of others, on the way; For the most part, she is inseparable from bows. Bowing is a trace of inner prayer. Reading and thinking go together; can prepare for prayer and remain idle. But they themselves are not prayer, and cannot replace it. The limit to reading is to reach an object that would captivate attention and focus on itself alone. The same goes for reflection. And then the transition to prayer or even to a prayerful state for a long time. It is good in the morning after prayer to achieve this by reading. Reading little by little... Reading with warmth is not the same... There, in a state of prayer, reading stops, and the mind becomes calm and does not waver, and it feels good. Force yourself to read the prayers that the priest showed. They are the door. How can you get inside without opening the door? Overcome boredom. There are not many of them. Think that by reading them you are speaking to the Lord a word that He hears. You can memorize these prayers and read them from memory, clearly to your heart and to the Lord. You just need to overcome yourself. The Lord is your help! The Lord alone is the conqueror of all our infirmities, and His power can only be received through prayer. She is the source of everything and every success. Through it, walking before the Lord is sought and acquired. This action is very simple. To stand intelligently before God, as one stands before the Emperor, in reverent fear, without taking one’s eyes off Him—that’s all. A clear conscience before the Lord and people is a condition for this. And the external order of life must be adjusted so that there is no entertainment. Go to God's church; read the writings of the fathers about attention and sobriety; run away from bodily peace; to trouble the flesh a little, but for the sake of the Lord. Most of all Pray to the Lord to grant this strength. With the skill of walking before God, the purification of the heart, feelings, desires, thoughts will begin, and until that time there was great turmoil in the soul... Have you ever had a warm prayer, in which everything fled from attention, and only the Lord remained and a cry to Him from the heart?.. If it happened, then this state is the unceasing state of those walking before God. Little by little they reach in degrees... and there is no end to the degrees; but those who are zealous for spiritual success come. You just need to take it up with jealousy. Work hard and do not give up; But what’s the use of going into vanity! What is the use of building with one hand and destroying with the other? Just work and no use. Lord, may He give you understanding, pray! Glory to you, Lord! How I rejoiced at your concern over prayer. It was your Guardian Angel who alarmed you, so that you would know that you need to pray and read. After all, there is no verbosity in our prayers. Everything is written there: Lord have mercy, only in different turns, for the sake of our weakness. Where do we go for Macarius of Egypt! In the states of grace that he depicts from his own experience, he would not even look at the light, he would huddle somewhere in a corner and melt there with emotion in the fire of God and in the light. Only love for his brothers called him to reason with one and console another. How did he get to this point? Have you really started straight into a short prayer? No; prayer is not given for free. The saints of God seemed to pray with a short prayer, or, better to say, a prayer without words. But this is not because they did not want to read prayers, but because the inner power of prayer bound the tongue, and they stood before God, and stood dutifully, night and day, without leaving their place, without getting tired and not feeling the need for sleep and food. If, imitating them, we begin to adhere to their rule: not to say much (in prayer), then we must imitate their example - stand for a long time with a short prayer. Where should we stand? When there are many prayers, we still stand; since the prayer book is not in your hands, then bow, another, and that’s enough. In order to lure and keep us in prayer, our mother, the Church, who cares for us, has established for us to read various prayers with attention and contrition. But she has a rule for those who are successful in spiritual life: as soon as the heart warms up in prayer and does not want words, stop reading and pray with your heart. This is the beginning of prayer. When the Lord sends you such a prayer, cherish it and stop reading, just note that the tongue should be tied from within, not to stop the prayer, but only to pray with deep, collected warmth to God, contritely and humbly falling down and sighing about your all-repentance. Now with our prayer we are still doing God a favor. It is necessary to ensure that she is recognized as insignificant, and then as a sinner; then in prayer, be sinners yourself and stand there as if at a trial. God is always our Judge; but the soul is not well aware of this, and gives itself courage to appear righteous before Him. The Lord is merciful and patient; If only she would come, at least like this. May the Lord help you and arrange your path to Himself! There are many roads, all to one place. The closer they are to this place, the closer they are to each other; and in the beginning how different they are, to the point of opposites, like from Tver and Ryazan to Moscow. That’s why it’s difficult to guess what someone needs and how. Therefore, this is the inevitable law for those who go to the Lord, the law of God’s devotion. And we hear the word and read and reason, but things don’t go at all according to our calculations. May the Lord make you wise! I was fascinated by the state of your heart after communion of the Holy Mysteries. After all, the Holy Mysteries are typified by manna. She took a taste according to everyone's needs. So the communion of the Holy Mysteries gave you a taste of what you need. Now your heart knows what it means to be with the Lord and what to be without Him; how good it is when He is near and warms and delights, and what happens to the soul when He retreats. What comes to mind is a comparison of Macarius of Egypt - the action of God's grace with the action of a mother regarding her child. When the child forgets, and from the incessant nannying of the mother, forgets how dear his mother is to him, then the mother leaves him alone and hides herself. The child starts screaming when he sees that he is alone. The mother immediately takes him again. How tightly he will then press himself to his mother’s chest! and before this he looked to the sides, became distracted, laughed, forgetting his mother. That's how it is with the soul. Our job is to accept everything and give thanks for everything. Be the glory of the Lord forever! It is difficult for us to realize with our minds, and even more so to feel with our hearts, that we are alone. You have to study this all your life, and this is the main science. Success in it goes hand in hand with humility and self-abasement. Without this, we will not even understand how natural the deepest humility is among saints. And the real fear of God comes the same way. The fear of God should never leave the heart. Love drives out one kind of it, and gives birth to another. And the heavenly powers stand before God with fear and trembling. There is no torment and fear in it, but there is a sweet coolness, but still it is fear, sometimes crushing bones. That's how it should be! And I should pray: plant Your fear in my heart. Prayer is definitely the main thing. She is our path to God; everything else is a means of helping to achieve this. I will only say that a little preparation needs to be done before prayer. Do not suddenly approach the Lord; you need to dress up spiritually, as they do when they go to the king; think at least a little about yourself and about God before that. Who are we and who is the One with whom we want to talk? What do we need, and by what right do we dare to ask for what we need? and the like. The main thing is to put yourself in self-abasement in the presence of God and speak, as it were, into His ears, simply, like a child. How good it is to bow, how good it is to stand in line, without lazily and carelessly loosening your limbs, and keeping them all in a certain tension. Lord have mercy on us! May the Lord grant us all to work as much as we have the strength and zeal. Mother of God, may she overshadow you with Her protection! How good it is that the Lord brought you to a monastery, and another one - to the Mother of God! Now you can have a good discussion about why monks are not bored, or who generally flock to the house of God. There the Angels of the Lord distribute spiritual sweets in order to lure them onto the narrow and sorrowful path. For this is all the power. Sweets and consolations, like something extraneous. But since we are weak, they covet us. Before leaving Egypt, the Israelites ate lamb, and then what did they find in the desert? Everyone must go through this desert in order to reach the promised land. Yet the Lord Himself builds. But we need to pray: save me with your destinies. I just wanted to remind you of this so that you don’t get lost in your thoughts, sometimes being in a comforting mood. This is not the case yet, and not the beginning of the case. The beginning when the fear of God begins to crush the bones. This is not a metaphor, but action. Pray for this: plant Your fear, O Lord, in my heart. Our mind is alive by nature. Vanity weighs him down. When little by little this yoke falls from him, he begins to soar everywhere, goes around both heaven and earth, sees everything, understands everything, and it is easy for him. There is nothing bad here; but it's of little use. This bird-mind needs to be put in a cage and told to him: sit here and sing this, and don’t dare fly here and there: the hawk will catch you. Again I turn to your journey, and I rejoice and thank the Lord. After all, there are no coincidences in the world. Everything submits to the mania of God. Be the will of God! And may His good will be done over you. Believe and hold deep in your heart that nothing can happen without God, even to the smallest detail. Everything is planned out for Him. It is our duty to turn everything into the salvation of the soul and to derive spiritual benefit from everything. This is all our wisdom. But no one has yet figured out how to organize themselves. Everything is like a web. Weaves, weaves, poor man; the wind will blow and everything will fly apart. And how the Lord weaves is so durable. And thin, but strong, like a rope. Blessed is the soul that rests in the hands of God! Like a baby at its mother’s breast, she rests under the shelter of the Lord. It is difficult to understand, and even more so to feel, this. May the Lord help you! Those who fall painfully towards God are not forgotten. You write: “God created man for society.” Correct this thought. Man was created to communicate with God. This is his main goal. Therefore, when man fell away from God, the Only Begotten Son of God deigned to descend to earth in order to reunite him with God again. This communication with God is so significant and necessary! But just as in order to enter into this communication and strengthen in it, a person needs to live a short moment on earth, and it is difficult for him to live here alone, then for a while he was given a disposition towards the public, not as the main thing, but as an accessory along with other everyday inclinations. The seat of all of them is in the soul... The spirit is not earthly... Therefore, when it gains strength, it drowns out the voice of spiritual needs and breaks all the bonds that hold the soul, which are insoluble for it alone. Then it is easy and spacious for a person; he is in his element. It's a disaster for a society in which the public is a target. Then the center moves, and confusion and disorder begins. You admired the music; but you have exalted its price too much. Another area is music, and another is prayer. Therefore, the transition from one to another can only be random. There are many ghosts of spiritual things, which seem, but are not spiritual. You say that sometimes it’s so good and easy, and sometimes everything will fall apart... Life goes in stripes... Yes! something flies off... But I think it’s always our fault. The Lord is near. God will not despise a contrite and humble heart. When this is, and that is. How then the soul is covered with clothes... otherwise it is naked and in the cold. What to do, we are weak people. - Oh, we understand!.. the Lord is jealous! My glory, he says, I will not give to anyone else. The Lord demands decisive exclusivity. Deviation of the heart is treason; and a fine for it. The longer one remains in love, the stronger the reproach for the evading heart. Any distraction, any attachment of the heart to anything other than the Lord, everything is counted and punished. Today is the week of the publican and the Pharisee! We heard the sound of a trumpet... We must prepare for a feat. One day it will sound again, and again, and again... And then the doors of repentance will open... Let us all go and fall before the merciful Lord - the Father’s embrace is open to everyone. Let us rush into them with boldness and disappear into the boundless sea of ​​God’s mercy. What N.N. told you is a sophistry of selfhood, self-pity, based on actual experience, misunderstood or crookedly interpreted. After noise and entertainment, the soul, not completely spoiled, yearns. The heart, languishing from suffocation in an alien atmosphere, gathers itself and complains to God and man himself that he is being tormented for no reason. So, this prayer is the cry of the sick for healing. The Lord sends these moments of tenderness after entertainment and even during it, to remind a person that he is acting wrongly, wasting time in vain in vanity and ruining his soul. And N.N. takes this as a basis for indulgences. This also means that the patient has enough poison and screams. Has the pain subsided? give him more poison... why did he shut up?! Let him scream. Is this smart? Ask her what is the meaning of fervent prayer after the scattering and noise of the holiday? What the soul says: thank you, Lord, that you have had a good time, or sinned, - Lord have mercy! The first is ridiculous; but I won’t need to add to the second, and therefore - throw it away: for God cannot be deceived. See what experience says. The cry of the heart after a noise is strong at first, then weaker and weaker; and one more thing - from the beginning it repeats itself often, and then less and less often... finally it stops... Everything became calm. The matter will be resolved: this is how it should be... In old age or in old age, he will come to his senses, look back - he has been bored with a lot. There is little time ahead... It is difficult, and there is no point in starting. So be it... and despair. Kuti... This is the end of social life. Also, what kind of philosophy is this: monotony breeds indifference and coldness? The world transfers its own to God’s. In created things, monotony is definitely boring, because they are finite. A glass of sweet water, even if you drink it little by little, you will still drink it; So is every worldly pleasure. The heart will drink everything sweet from it, and the end... then it will not be nutritious and - boredom. In relation to God it is not at all the same. He is an infinite good, sufficient for everyone and for all ages. In the future life, all those who have prepared themselves will taste this one good; and they themselves will be satisfied and will not exhaust it; and they will thirst more and more, and expand in thirst and in tasting. Ask why O. Seraphim and O. Parthenius were not bored by such a monotonous, and even the most monotonous life? Church, and cell, church, and cell... or even a shutter... Lord have mercy! How can you kill yourself? But they didn’t even think about torturing themselves... but on the contrary, they were blissful. The saints of God used to have hours, days of cooling, as they call them; but the reason for this is not at all monotony; and one is with the Lord, the other is in us. Warmth of spirit comes from the breath of grace. But our pride sits next to it. From the length of this blissful state, a person will either begin to blow the trumpet before himself, or will appropriate this benefit to himself, or will hope too much: “Well, now we’ve settled down.” When this happens inside, the Lord takes His grace and leaves the person alone. What does a person have? So you feel a lack of taste for everything spiritual, and a burden, and indifference... just as all the warmth went out of an open window. It is necessary to drown; but firewood is not sold in the noise of the world, but is stored in the Lord's store. Open the store and take it... Anyone has free access. The key is crying, repentance, contrition, or simply a patient cry to the Lord, even without any taste, with self-compulsion... Then the Lord again turns back the warmth... And this is called an instructive retreat from grace. We have our own reason for loss of taste and cooling. It is inevitable in the course of success. It’s like the proverb: I fell behind on one shore, but didn’t stick to the other. A state of, as it were, thought - not the initial one, but after - on the road it already... temporarily creeps in... The heart has not yet completely lagged behind the sensual, and has not completely penetrated into the spiritual. The urges from here and there will whirl you around and cloud you for a while... that’s indifference and tastelessness... Be patient a little and it will pass... So that’s it!.. Let’s work a little bit with patience and surrendering ourselves to the Lord. There's a little left. The hour will come, let us stand before the Lord, and what shall we say? That we can dance, speak French, and appreciate theatrical plays well? - Oh, trouble! oh woe! Then we will rush here and there, but it’s too late... Lord give me a minute, give me a minute... let’s repent... and it won’t work... because prayer was aroused by balls and theaters... When I was with you and spoke about intermittent states of heartfelt warmth, N.N., who was also sitting with you, said: “Oh, I was in despair that I didn’t have the same warmth”... But then I said something else. This is what comes to her: in anticipation that she would give up worldly habits, the Lord visited her with inner consolations; but since she didn’t heed, and continues too... that’s why he left her... stay with your theaters... and starve. This is a punitive retreat from grace. And this is not done for destruction, but for admonition. And so let it stink to itself. – What book is it that confused you?.. All Western translated books about spiritual life are not coming to us. There is a shred of truth in them; but even the best of them contain much that is dreamy and false; They tickle, not nourish... and it turns out: it flowed over the lips, but didn’t get into the mouth. Take the best and most praised: “On the Imitation of Jesus Christ” - Thomas a à Kempis... Read it with attention, and compare whether it gives the same as Macarius of Egypt, or Isaac the Syrian, or the sayings of our elders - Seraphim, Parthenius... Westerners want to save themselves; and only through their own efforts do they end up in a calm state of the heart, similar to inaction with the silence of other forces. Here their imagination draws images for them, and they are thrilled by them... Leave them. The saints you have are enough for you. Are there a hundred truths? One truth. Are there a hundred paths? One way. Are there a hundred Gods? There is one God, one faith, one baptism... So how is it all the same?.. And it is as if it is the same with us, where there is no priesthood, no Holy Communion and repentance? How will our sins be resolved?.. And what will our spirit be nourished with?.. All this philanthropy is like nothing. They do not know how to solve the question: what are other confessions? But due to the fact that we cannot solve it properly, we should not interpret it crookedly and understand what is absolutely correct. Look what happens in photography? A person's natural persona is his truest type. Photographers take pictures, then print them. One is too dark, the other is too light, that one didn’t get the trick right, the other didn’t give the right pose... But there are also photographs that are very faithful to the original. How much does underpainting change the characteristics of traits? Now looking at all these photographs, is it really possible to say that they are all equal, when among them there are also those in which the person from whom the portrait was taken does not recognize himself? God said to Moses: “See, and make (the tabernacle) according to the image shown to you on the mountain” (Ex. 25:40). And it was so until the coming of Christ. The Lord, having come, took down from heaven another tabernacle for us - St. faith and the Church, also built because He saw and heard from the Father - in the eternal council of the Trinitarian God. But unauthorized photographers appeared... let's paint on them, let's take new pictures - and they piled up... There is only one face of the Church; but in the homemade photographs, one had two heads, the other had no arms or legs, the eyes were changed, the clothes were completely different, and so on. and so on... And everyone has the same signature: Church... You look and look and are forced to say: no, it’s not her. After this, is it appropriate for us, who preserve the original of the Church, to put ourselves in line with others? But what about the others? Let's leave it to the Householder to dispose of them. He gives us tangible evidence that we have the original: these are, visible to everyone, gifts of miracles, clairvoyance, incorruption of relics, extraordinary phenomena; We see all this in our days... What more could we want? The Lord will not condone liars. The Lord is with us, and His Spirit dwells in our Church... This is tangible... and our real Church has become, brought down from heaven and established on earth. What about those? The Lord knows about those. He does not reveal His judgments... There will be a day when He will bring the secret into the light... And now, for now, this ray of immutable confirmation of the truth is enough for us. So your soul is very constrained! May the Lord warm it and expand. Patience, surrendering everything to the Lord and waiting for His decisions are the best guides for our lives. And prayer is the atmosphere in which we must live and breathe. And that's it. It is better to move little by little than to jump up. Sit and wait. But here is the fast: “brothers, let us fast with an enjoyable fast.” Woe is it when fasting is unpleasant to either us or God. How weak we have become!.. And all because we are righteous... The sinner will not feel sorry for himself; and - when it senses sinfulness, then sinful flesh hold on! Lent will begin tomorrow. Will God help me fast as I should? Now, if it were in a monastery, it would be a different matter... You see, monasteries are needed, and sometimes monks... And this is not for one, not two, or three. And everyone is not favorable to monasticism: this is not the institution of the Savior Himself. What do you mean by monasticism? The cassock, hood, rosary and other appearances were definitely not instituted by the Savior... But the power and spirit of monasticism were indicated by Him Himself - in His own person, in the person of the Mother of God, the Forerunner of the Lord and all, one might say, the Apostles. Monasticism is, with renunciation from everything, an unceasing abiding in God with the mind and heart. A monk is one whose inner structure is such that only God is, and he, disappearing in God. Since this mood is greatly interfered with by family and civil life, those who seek it withdraw from society, break off, or do not enter into family ties at all... There is also an indication of this from the Savior Himself, namely: about celibacy and complete non-covetousness. After that, when in Corinth there was confusion regarding virgins who did not want to marry their husbands, Ap. Paul, in his letter to them, indicated what to do. His meaning is this: he who gets married does no harm, but it is better not to get married. In Apostolic times there were Ascetics, but in subsequent times they were hermits, monks... The Church gave them only external organization; for in the Church everything should be “decent and in order” (1 Cor. 14:40), and not established something that was not. Neither politics nor world events had any part in this. Monasticism is not external... it comes from the spirit of Christianity and even from the nature of the human spirit. There are, for example, those who devote themselves to science, art... why? Such talent. Why not favor those who devote themselves to God? for this is also a gift of God - the mood of the spirit is this... “He who is able to contain it, let him contain it” (Matthew 19:12). They say: there is no benefit from monasticism. Was there and is there little benefit from O. Seraphim? Therefore judge also about others. Expand the circle of useful things beyond material interests... include here piety, good morality, purity of heart, and decide from whom to expect benefits for these not small things! What does Christianity want? “Seek the things on high, philosophize on the things above... Your life is hidden with Christ in God” (Col. 3:1-3) and so on. This is exactly monasticism... Not the black cassock and cowl of monasticism, not even life in a monastery... If all this could change, then monasticism will endure forever... as long as there is a Christian man on earth. When someone loves God, this love should not be called ideal, contemplative. God precedes our love, and embraces everything with His love... We are surrounded by it... If we do not feel its warming rays, it is because of our rigidity in the sensual... The soul will slightly free itself from these bonds and renounce everything for God, and God enters into it... communicates... and there is a warm revival. From this source comes both doing good to others and improving oneself. The beginning of everything is repentance: it leads to the purifying labors of asceticism. As it is cleansed, the heart matures with love for God. A completely pure heart loves God completely. It is a great pity that our philosophers have turned God into an idea... and always forget that man is a fallen being... There is no rebellion for him, as in the Lord Jesus Christ, through St. Church . I will briefly describe to you the essence of our faith: “God, worshiped in the Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, who created everything and provides for everything, saves us, fallen and perishing, and it is by the good pleasure of the Father in our Lord Jesus Christ, by the grace of the Most Holy. Spirit, in the Holy Church, through St. The sacraments are here preliminary and preparatory, but in the next century definitively.” This is the seed, the core of Theology and all sound philosophy. The whole chain of events moves according to this idea. The Lord leads... Legislators, educators, if they want to get on the right path, which is the only path of God's providence, or the direction of God's will, they must conform to this... Otherwise they will hustle and bustle, but there will be no sense. So, we are fallen, and the Lord restores us to His physician-Church... There is no need for us to think about pleasures... The patient needs cutting, cauterization, flies... And these are all painful methods, but pleasures are after recovery... Just as complete health is promised only in the future life, then only illnesses and labors remain for the lot of the present. Let's work a little. Is real life great?.. But there is no end. Well, if we hit the nail... what then? Crying and screaming will do no good. It is better to work a little here, in the courtyard of our merciful Master and Lord... than to suffer there. What kind of reasoning is this? As if now for the first time we have to invent and discover the lost path of salvation! Everything is known. And so many people passed this way... and received retribution... It became an undoubted thing! Which way did the Saints of God go?.. or the way of pleasure! And is there anyone among them who has not been sick, who has not worked, who has not shed sweat and blood? Everyone followed the Lord... through the path of reproach, to Golgotha, and from there they gave up their spirit to the Lord. Will they accept comforters into their host?.. and will the Lord allow someone like that to come to them?.. Keep this in mind... The path of the world is broad and easy... but its end is the bottom of hell! Those who preach benefits speak so from the mind of their flesh... The mind is darkened by principles adopted from carnal secular life. What kind of light can one expect from such a mind? “Take heed how you walk dangerously... Believe not every spirit, but tempt the spirits that are of God” (Eph. 5:15; 1 John 4:1). You felt gloomy, alienated, sad that you didn’t have to go for a walk at the oil salon. Yes, this feeling is the most natural, but it’s not entirely right, and you have to scold your soul and heart for it. After all, to be alienated from the world is a commandment. So it wasn’t bad that you felt alienated. Read Word 64 of Isaac the Syrian. But why the feeling of orphanhood and sadness? Do we lag behind one shore and not reach the other? We alienate ourselves from the world in order to be with the Lord and His Saints, that is, we leave one unkind society and enter another... and we leave precisely in order to join it. “Come now to Mount Zion, and to the city of the living God, Jerusalem in heaven: and to the multitude of angels, to the triumph, and to the church of the firstborn in heaven, and to God, the Judge of all, and to those perfect in the righteous spirit, and to Jesus, the Mediator of the new covenant” (Heb. 12:22–24). Do you see what kind of society? And the soul is sad and screams: I am an orphan. So you need to scold her... don’t forget, don’t forget... That’s why there is sadness, that the soul has forgotten, and the feeling of communication has left the heart. At such moments, it is necessary to revive the memory of the spiritual world and move the heart so that sympathy arises. Doesn't he take it? To go to God's church... And that doesn't work? To endure cries to God for help to a poor heart, but still stand your ground, that is, do not indulge in revelry. For it happens that in sadness someone will say: go for a little walk... Do it only once, then every day you will be sad... and every day there will be a urge to have fun. And there is constant revelry. What a win! All that remains is a reminder - this road is boring, hard, lonely. In the next leaflet they had already recovered and returned to their own rank and order, and found the company of God... and warmth and love... Well, that’s it. Just don’t guess about yourself, but give yourself to the Lord. Let Him examine our degrees and determine the price of our sensations. Our measure is this: when we feel that everyone around us is unclean and that our salvation is only from the great mercy of God, then it is good. As soon as we begin to appropriate even a small piece of righteousness to ourselves, this is bad. Here it is rather necessary to raise a grumpy abuse at yourself. You mentioned something that you didn’t experience enthusiastic prayers. Lord deliver you from them. Delights, strong movements with excitement, are simply bloody emotional movements, from the inflamed imagination. Ignatius of Loyola wrote many manuals for them. They reach such raptures and think that they have reached great degrees; and meanwhile, all these are soap bubbles. Real prayer is quiet, peaceful; and this is how it is in all degrees. Isaac the Syrian indicates the highest degrees of prayer, but does not indicate raptures... Why do you go to confession as a righteous woman? Of course, you don’t say: I am not like other people... that would be too much. But a general feeling of unworthiness is not enough. You can somehow get to the point of saying: I’m a sinner in this, and I’m a sinner in that. After all, you say: I sinned in word, in deed, in thought. Is there such a thing as idle talk? Isn't there laughter? Is time being wasted on trifles? Has anyone or anything been tempted? Are thoughts always good? I think that if you delve into your thoughts, you will accumulate such a pile of sins that you will not be able to lift them up. You need to stand near your heart and learn to notice the thoughts and feelings emerging from it. Then you will see what kind of stinking thing is our seemingly kind heart? - And then minute-by-minute repentance will come, and confession to God, who is omnipresent and sees everything. God help you! On the day of Holy Communion you were sad. What to do? And thank the Lord for that. Give thanks for everything. This is what we need: not to measure ourselves, that is, how many arshins have risen from the ground... it’s better to completely forget about this measure. Let it be one: worthless. Whether we are standing on the straight road, the evidence of this is not in the warmth of feelings, although this is not bad: but in the firmness of working and pleasing God to the point of the stomach, without discerning whether it is warm in the soul, or dry and tasteless. The changeable states of the heart must be endured complacently, and one must say to the Lord: I’m not worth the best... it’s still not enough... add more, add more languor... and the like. What are we going to do? Humans are weak, unstable... and most importantly, voluptuous. I really want to eat all the sweets... but if they give you a little mustard, it doesn’t suit your taste... After all, all this is transitory. Don’t be embarrassed by the fact that it was on the day of communion. On this day, the Lord does for the soul what is more useful for it... For you, sadness was more useful, and it was left behind. Say thank God about everything. What indulgence did N.N. prescribe for you “when you don’t feel like it, don’t pray”? Maybe he can get away with it; but this cannot be made a general rule. Remember the legend about how one monk was overcome by the enemy before the beginning of the prayer rule. He felt chills and fever, he was sick enough to die. What did he do? Well, he says, the soul! The time has come to die, let's pray and cry before the Lord for the last time. He began to pray and forced himself. His head was cracking, but he was all his own... He finished the rule, and the pain went away... The next day, too, again... Then he understood where the attacks were coming from... and he never abandoned his rule, no matter what he rejected. If there were no enemy, it would be possible... but as he is, you need to keep your ears sharp. With difficulty and self-constraint you can only get used to goodness. And we need to shed a lot of sweat until it becomes close to us and becomes familiar, ordinary, easy for us... So, for God's sake, run away from indulgences. Look at Macarius of Egypt’s rule: you must force yourself to do every good deed... “The Kingdom of God is forced and the needy delight it” (Matthew 11:12). We have, after all, a mixture of good and evil, and every good has its own evil... We must strangle the latter and resurrect the former. How can you do this without difficulty, when you turn over from side to side, and then you need tension? It’s better to stick to just speeches, otherwise you might get confused. You'll lose the thread... You can have general conversations with anyone, but when it comes to business, you can only listen to one. In general, you can talk about spiritual things with anyone... This is good - it moves the soul... and cleanses the air. Now unfolded St. Isaac the Syrian - this only teacher of sober life. Wherever you are, take this book with you. I started reading, and the first lines were just what you needed. See what praise there is to those who see the Lord in their hearts - (Word 8). “Whoever always thinks about God drives away demons from himself and eradicates the seed of their malice. Who watches over his soul every hour; his heart will be magnified by revelations. Whoever concentrates the vision of his mind within himself; he sees the spiritual dawn within himself. Who abhorred all soaring of the mind; he sees his Lord within his heart.” Here O. Seraphim stood before the Lord all his life, and burned like a candle. So are all the others. But weren't they people? And is their purpose different from ours? – “Your life is hidden with Christ in God” (Col. 3:3). The Apostle said this about everyone. - And he does not say that he must be hidden, but he is hidden, in order to show that a Christian is hidden with his whole being in God, through our Lord Jesus Christ. And the word of the Apostle: “pray without ceasing” (1 Thess. 5:17), to whom does it apply?.. To only the chosen ones, or to everyone without exception? - Yes! - to everyone... It has become, and this commandment must be fulfilled... God bless you! Blessed are you, Christ our God, etc. We celebrate Pentecost. May the Giver of all things give you the breath and overshadowing of God's Spirit! Let His warmth warm your heart more and more, until a fire breaks out, burning and consuming everything! Wake up! And it will happen if you put in hard work and a painful fall to God. The Lord is generous and merciful. The fans showed up. Everyone is looking! It's good that they are looking. Just don’t think that the Lord is closer to Kyiv or Moscow, Mount Athos or Jerusalem, rather than to another place. His place is our heart! And when he comes in and exults... behold Jerusalem, and more than Jerusalem. Let's worry about this. The heart is in us; but there is a journey to the heart - and sometimes it is long, long. This journey is more difficult, more valuable in the eyes of the Lord, and more fruitful. Whoever completes it will not want to travel, but will love to sit at home, alone. He doesn’t want to see, hear, speak, or move... There is a wondrous and marvelous vision in him that absorbs all his attention, all his love, all his care. May the Lord grant us this grace, the source of all graces! Take comfort! After all, the Lord does not bring wrath every day. The heart of God is wide, wide... For us it is sparrow-like. What to do?.. He who endures to the end will be saved, said the Lord, and does not say when and what the end will be, and what will happen ahead - a storm or a hurricane? But you can’t figure out how to stand, and you can’t figure out how others stand. In Your hands, O Lord, we commend our spirit! By understanding both, let us understand the ways of God. Repentance cleanses everything and quenches the wrath of God. God will not despise a contrite and humble heart. May our Most Pure Lady comfort you! Be strong! It doesn’t hurt to grieve: we are human beings; but one should not grieve to the point of exhaustion. This sorrow will not help; and quiet prayerful hope attracts God’s mercy. After all, you can’t snatch anything from God’s hands by force... but with tears everything is possible. Lord forbid, Lord forbid! It is necessary to pester!.. but there is no right... all mercy! There are fences set by God that no one can break. We must hit them with strong prayer. The Lord, having compassion, will accept them... and then the joy of salvation!.. But let there be soft, contrite and humble hope. There are no rights to the mercy of God. May the Lord comfort you! In general, it occurs to me that people are not entirely good just by chance, but in reality they are good. Therefore, it is better and more accurate to consider everyone as saints. The latter can be preferred to even a true trial. There is a feat here, and not in vain; in order to fulfill the good rule: I will take out to see the clean face of my neighbor. We have a proverb: one's own is not washed white; she is sinful. It should be the other way around: yours is black and washed, but someone else’s unwashed is white. It’s good that you repented and asked the Lord for forgiveness for the thought of appropriating good things for yourself... There is no more evil thing! A thought seized at the entrance like a robber and driven away is not a problem. But when its reflection falls on the heart and it delights in it; then you must beat this heart hard - for treason. The reason for everything is inattention. The mind will not notice how the evil spark falls; but does not notice for entertainment. You can still bother, but don’t let the Lord out of your mind and lips. And don’t forget to fall before Him. Let it be difficult: the more valuable the feat, and the sooner grace will be given. With good efforts, the tension of being with the Lord brings many benefits. Let us fall down and cry: Lord have mercy! This small tightness is instructive and saving... There is a Lord who arranges everything. He will restore all kinds of ruins... But another thing is that the end is not here... The fruit of life will be revealed beyond the line of life... Save us, Lord, in that terrible hour; but here one word is enough: Thy will be done, Lord. What an edifying lesson from the laundress! And how many hidden servants of God and true servants are there in the world? What are we? Foil: pretentious, smooth... but touch it with your hand - sluggish, weak, worthless. How many secrets there are in life! And how hidden is the path of salvation! And how you need to pay attention to yourself, squeeze your heart and squeeze out all the crap from there! God help! You've been caught up in everything. Be strong; it's lifesaving. There are people who are busy and not having fun. But until God sends this grace, we will do as best we can. What made you sad? Sadness, quiet calm, joy... changeable things, the source of which is difficult to guess... And there is nothing to look at them, because the power is not in them... I was sad! God bless; and had fun, thank God... But it’s yours, it’s still yours. All human weaknesses! But let’s finish what we started and get on with what’s important. There are people who are so established in the Lord that, despite any separation, everyone remains with the Lord. Is their strength of spirit higher, is their composure more concentrated, or is the heat of love and warmth more abundant! Let us pray that the Lord will grant us this grace too. And He is inquisitive. Diligence, labor, search will not be in vain. He himself prescribed: seek and you will find. Let's search and find. Living between people, in relations, it is impossible, of course, quickly; but it is possible. And here death is not far away. It is good to die in a state of quest, if the Lord does not bless, in a state of perfection. And in the next world there will be an ascent from the lowest to the highest. But we forgot about that world - the worries knocked it out of our heads. Let us repent, shake off the lull of entertainment, enter the peace of sobriety and everything will go well. It would be better, of course, to pull the thread continuously; but what to do when it breaks. Let's twist again and pull the same thread... After all, our whole life is the spinning of one cob... Everything dangles, dangles and a big ball is formed. In the next world they will unwind everything... They will begin to strictly examine the merits of the thread - by arshins, quarters, tops. And whoever spins will stand and wait in fear for what they will finally say - good or bad. May the Lord strengthen you in your zeal to pray and pray. Pray not because it feels good, but because you have to. Most of all, get used to the Jesus Prayer. Let him force it on his tongue so that he consciously and unconsciously repeats it. This is not sudden. I don’t think you have taken on this work yet. It's hard the first time. But conquer yourself. God help you! Your question amazed me... It is difficult to explain, just as it is difficult to explain what day is. You seem to have a little zeal to please God. As for the position of the stomach, for the martyrs this was the very thing, but for us it means: not sparing ourselves to work for the Lord. This is the meaning of wide-wide!.. Why, for example, do you not suddenly want to get up? I feel sorry for myself. Why don’t you want to go to prayer? I feel sorry for myself. Why don’t you want to deny yourself this or that food? I feel sorry for myself... And many, many similar things. The body begins to scream as if it is being led to the gallows. This is the one who will overcome him; that stomach rests... and this can be done every minute, denying yourself, without self-pity. Of course, we must strive in every possible way so that the minute of death is a moment of bliss; but whether it happens and whether it will be like this for everyone, it is impossible to guess... Therefore, it is necessary to expect it with fear and trembling. The goodness of God is limitless - and does not want us to have trouble and torment; but what to do when we become unworthy of it? What to do with the one who says: get away from me; I don’t want to know Your ways? Who better comprehended not with the mind, but with the heart, the goodness of God, like St. devotees? but the fear of death and judgment did not leave them. Thank God that you have a love for the Lord and a desire to please Him. And may He preserve this good feeling in you, this light, light of course and blown by many winds, and may He cause it to grow into the flame of the Seraphim. Take care of him above all else. The trouble is when it goes out. Overwhelming darkness and cold and all sorts of disorder will come. The best support for him is the work of good deeds in connection with the work of prayer. Here is the whole path of salvation. It seems a little complicated and not difficult. The work of good deeds embraces: 1. Good deeds, whatever God will send, and whatever good deeds you will encounter every day, from waking up to falling asleep. 2. Good dispositions: humility, meekness, abstinence, mercy, etc. 3. Strong, like death, determination and zeal to work for the Lord with everything, right down to the stomach. All this together is cumulative. The first without the second is bad, and the second without the third is not so good. Eat? - God bless. No? – It is necessary to acquire, organize and carry out the work of good deeds in all forms. The work of prayer consists of this: with the mind in the heart before the Lord, to contemplate the Lord, to walk before His face, ascending to Him and falling before Him in self-abasement, constantly, and sitting and walking and talking. Is it difficult? Yes, it's not easy. That is why this is called prayer work. And others say that it’s easy... And when they hear about this, they immediately think: oh, that’s okay, I’ll do it that way. There is no need to bow, or read prayers, or go to church, or any other bodily labor during prayer. The mind and heart are in my hands. I will pray with them. Good hour! So they begin... But the mind runs wild and dreams, the heart blesses, and nothing comes of it. - No. When doing good work, it is necessary to work as a feat of prayer, physically performed with attention - with the mind and heart. And God, seeing this work, will give a heartfelt, light, sweet prayer that delights everything. Be inspired by patience and force yourself to work. What you say about the disintegration of the body is what Isaac the Syrian calls the rest of the body and he attributes a lot of evil to it. It is true. Have you ever seen an electric car? If the circuit from the cylinder is connected to the ground, then no matter how much you turn the wheel, the electricity will not be noticeable - everything will go into the ground. The same enemy is the rest of the body. - Drive him away. Get angry with the body and torture it a little. Pray about this - and the Lord will help. And there is a lot of evil in this peace. Your time is only when you are in your room. Try to distribute it so that it all belongs to the Lord - especially the morning hours... from waking up to 12 o'clock. - Place your morning prayer here. As soon as you wake up, get up. Don't spare your body. If it wants to please, get angry and drive yourself out of bed. It would be good if you could go to prayer now, so that everyone would think that you are still sleeping. You already know that bows are touching. Yes, bowing is a very important thing. We need to start with them - three, five, ten... until the heart warms up; for when asleep it is always sluggish and cold. Then read the morning prayers slowly, with attention, with the Lord before you. Accompany the reading with bows from the waist or to the ground, depending on the movement of the heart; but the more often, the better... Conclude the reading again with bows, praying to the Lord for what you feel you need, until your heart is satisfied. Determine the number of bows, if necessary, for yourself, otherwise, as much as your heart desires... at least a hundred. After completing the prayer, it is good to spend some time in the thought of God, or in the creation of the Jesus Prayer. Sit down - or standing and walking - and say: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me... say this prayer more times... at least a hundred. Then, throughout the day, as often as possible, say this prayer. And it’s good to approach the icon more often during the day and bow down with zeal: five, ten, or more, with the prayer: Lord have mercy, God be merciful... that’s all. And before going to bed, the same order, i.e., several bows at the beginning, prayers for those coming to bed, several bows again, and at least a hundred Jesus prayers. How good it is to go to church to cultivate the spirit of prayer! You know all this... Make it a point to go to church more often for mass, or vespers, or whatever you can. If you could go to church every day and all services, then the source of heartfelt prayer would sooner open up... Attend at least if possible. To this prayerful work it is necessary to add reading the word of God and St. Fathers. It is good to read the daily Gospel and the daily Apostle every day. And do this: - in the morning, after the Jesus Prayer. But read with reflection, delving into the power of words and, as much as possible, bringing them to the heart. It’s good when some place takes your whole soul. You can walk with it all day, keeping it in your memory. From St. Fathers: St. Isaac the Syrian, Ephraim, Macarius of Egypt, Memorable Legends, Ladder, Barsanuphius and John and friend. Read some of them every day. You don’t need to read a lot... After reading something, chew it until it reaches your heart. And that's enough. Here's a sign of useful reading! When a place is so occupied that all thoughts and attention are concentrated in it, this is good. Any other reading is idle. In the evening or after dinner it is good to read the lives of the saints of the day. To do this, have the Chet-Minea on hand. Do you have any handicrafts? If not, invent one. It's bad without handicrafts. Reading and praying (I mean prayer, and outwardly expressed prayer) cannot be done incessantly. And if you sit idly, your thoughts will begin to wander; So you need to invent handicrafts to help yourself. Sell ​​your handicrafts and give them away in alms, asking the Lord for help in the science of praying to Him. You yourself know best how to distribute prayer, reading, and handicrafts. Just distribute it in such a way that there is not a minute of idle time. – (When entering a room, bow several times; when leaving the same, every time.) It seems that everything has already been said. May the Lord bless you and enlighten you. Just remember that the whole thing is a heart burning towards God, and constantly falling inwardly to Him in contrition. You need to get sick, force yourself, torment yourself without pity. But the enemy does not sleep, and interprets everything: this is unnecessary, this is not necessary. Our mind, or our cleverness, helps him. Lord have mercy on us! My grief from the attacks of the West has subsided. Now it has been renewed, and with even greater force. I’ll tell you two or three thoughts soon. In appearance, we have many similarities with Roman Catholics: the dogmas are the same, except for the new ones they invented about the origin of the Holy Spirit and - the recent one - about the non-participation of the Mother of God in original sin. They also have dogma - and the primacy of the pope. The sacraments are the same; but they have almost all changed in form and differ in it not only from the Eastern Church, but also from their ancient orders. They have Vespers and Matins and Liturgy and other church prayer services, just like ours. But if you consider; how soulless and even meaningless everything is! When you trace the details, it is obvious to everyone how far they are from the truth. Crafty propagandists confuse with a general overview, hiding differences. The same differences that stand out too much, they soften with misinterpretation. For example, in Gagarin... “With you,” he says, it is unclear how to believe about the origin of the Holy Spirit; therefore for you the belief about the origin of St. The Spirit and from the Son is a private opinion, which anyone accepting is in no way subject to the judgment of his Church.” Do you see the sophistry? But isn’t the Church’s constant belief that He does not come from the Son the voice of the Church? When their dogma is not accepted, did not the whole Church say that they should not believe it? And the council that was under Patriarch Photius and Pope John VIII, didn’t it anathematize those who accepted the procession of the Holy Spirit and from the Son? Then all the theological writings in the east, all the catechisms, what do they mean if not an expression of the teachings of the Orthodox Church? For all this, to believe that the Holy Spirit comes from God the Father is an obligatory dogma, but to believe in Latin that He also comes from the Son is a deviation from the Church, a heresy. Strengthen yourself against this sophistry. They also say: “What prevents us from believing the origin of the Holy Spirit and from the Son? This does not destroy your dogma, but adds new truth to it; knowing five truths is certainly better than knowing four.” What tricks! It is good to add truth to truth, but if they add falsehood, they distort it. Bitterness added to honey destroys honey. The judgment is written strictly for those who will add. With such and similar sophisms, they smooth out too sharp differences. I think the simple meaning is enough to understand the trick. They won’t even tell anyone who knows, but they randomly throw soap bubbles into the air, just in case someone takes a peek. They tore me away for a long time... I forgot what else I wanted to say. Yes, that's it! The spirit of earthly Catholicism. They have a church, and in their opinion there is a political corporation, supported by human forces and means, such as: the Inquisition, indulgences, with a visible head. The Orthodox Church is the spiritual union of all in Jesus Christ and through Him mutually. The Church is invisibly ruled by the Lord and heading towards its end. Their dad is taking her, and where?!! That's enough for now. For the Lord's sake, beware of these flattering spirits, and protect others. Take the trouble to read: The Truth of the Universal Church, the Word of Orthodox Catholicism by A. N. Muravyov. And in French: Question religioneuse dʹOrient et dʹOccident. Moscow, 1857. Everything is explained well there... May the Lord protect you and bless you all with every blessing. I’m surprised and can’t guess what happened to you. Thank the Lord that it has passed. Let's pray that it doesn't happen again. His darkness, the prince of the century, gets to you, tries from which side you can be knocked off your feet. There are many temptations around. Run under the roof of the Mother of God and the Saints of God! No one can escape temptation; but you can avoid falls! You can’t do it on your own, but with God and heavenly help. She is ready, she surrounds everyone, but we must not separate ourselves from her, not drive her away. It is driven away by passionate thoughts, feelings and desires. The Lord looks into the heart, and as it is towards Him, so is He towards it! Then the inevitable law for all who seek the Lord: to pay attention to oneself, or to lead an inwardly alert and sober life. Do you have the Philokalia? Look there at Hesychius, Philotheus the Sinai, Theoliptus, and also Diodochos, Bishop of Photiki - all about sobriety. With their help you will understand what sobriety, spiritual vigil and vigor are. There is a saying: the silence is such that you can hear a fly fly by... So in a sober person everything is quiet in the soul; like a candle burns, the lifting of the heart to God is continuous. A little something from outside now sees and drives away; and again peace... and so on... This is what we need to achieve. Do this. Do you know the place of prayer, or the place of the heart, warmly praying? Where it is warm during prayer, pay attention and be there and do not want to go out; but be not alone, but with the thought of the Lord who is also in you; At the same time, take care of one thing, to preserve this unquenchable warmth towards the Lord. This is the main thing! When you begin this inner feat, then the matter itself will teach you how to do this - what helps it and what hinders it. Get a hold of it. Only when the warmth is established does internal cleansing begin. When is pure metal separated from ore? When the ore gets hot... So it is here... And before that, everything is not only nothing, but also not anything practical, durable. So here's a lesson for you! Learn and tell me what will happen to you and in you! When you stand in your heart with the thought of the Lord, then your mind will stand and stand, become tired and begin to wiggle here and there, as if to run away. Then give him the sweetest name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that is, the Jesus Prayer, and let him repeat it. But remember that the fear of God beforehand must freshen the air of the heart and at all times refresh and purify... There is an inner reverent and humiliated fall towards God, turning a person into dust and ashes before the Lord... Do this... And it will be like this for us: in the morning, from the first consciousness, with fear, refresh everything inside... prayer will then warm... the Jesus Prayer with an inner fall towards the Lord will prolong this warmth... and glory God! But we must strive for this. Not suddenly; - not like knitting with a needle - you looked and you know. Morning reading is very helpful in maintaining warmth - and from it is the thought that will attract attention, and, like a ray, will fall on the heart and illuminate everything inside. You need to remember it more often and turn it around in your mind. You can also make it a rule that as soon as you come across such a thought while reading, stop reading. There are many enemies to this cause, you will see for yourself... The most important ones: eyes, ears, and movement with the tongue, i.e.: seeing a lot, hearing a lot, speaking a lot, moving freely... How to carry a glass of settled water without getting indignant? You need to walk a little, a little... But you will see everything for yourself when you start the business. Just get started; otherwise you will be in trouble. You will get confused. Temptation has befallen you from vain thoughts and inner complacency and self-praise! Here is the objection: how is it possible? Am I not humble? - Wait! Take the trouble to do it as it is written... And then what turns out to be is what it is... And now, what can I say? Until the soul sits with its mind in the heart, until then it does not see itself and is not aware of itself as it should. Praise, as I already wrote, is the same as giving a leg to someone running... he will immediately stumble... and his nose will be broken... and some are out of breath... God forbid! Well, I killed you! But this is a lesson... Whatever you want, work if you want good for yourself and love the Lord... Work. Just a little bit of success will immediately make all your laziness go away. He turned around Isaac the Syrian and attacked the chapter, which is not bad for you to read and assimilate in full. Our whole life, both internal and external, has been explained. This is word 47. I looked through your letter and wondered what happened to you? But when it has passed, we will pray that it does not return. I’m very glad that you attacked again in the old way. Please remember that for anyone who has not begun the order of spiritual life, internal ruin, not walking through it, is not shocking. But whoever started and quits, it is very harmful for him. Grain that is not frozen in the frost does not die - the power of life is stored in it; but a frozen flower - the seed of life that has opened - dies or is damaged by the frost. So it is here. For those who have already begun to experience life, it is very harmful to quit. Notice this. After each throw of force, the forces will become weaker and weaker, and finally completely weakened, only the name will remain, the external order of life without an internal correspondence to it. God deliver you from this... Lord deliver you from being frivolous with spiritual things. Have you started? don't quit! At least a little, but everything is needed. And this is what the words of Abba Dorotheus, written by you, mean. He means internal ruin. And the Savior’s parable also means... in an unclean house there is one demon... and in the purified, but abandoned due to negligence, seven demons return. The same conclusion that you have is not correct: for by doing something good, we are not doing a good deed to God, but we are fulfilling our duty... But what better proof is there? Your condition at twenty days - what it was like and what it looks like! So forward, “watch and pray, so that you do not fall into misfortune” (Matthew 26:41). You've completely lost your mind. Having rested in their hut, and among the roundabout flattering relationships, they forgot about tea that they had to keep their ears sharp. The enemy does not sleep. He will spin his head a little, and at this time he will slip in some figurine: This is in his tricks. It seems I once prescribed the right lesson for you. Has it reached you? Break your head and soul for this matter. Okay, so good! Has the name—the sweetest name—of the Lord stuck on your tongue? We need to get it to read itself. Even if the thought runs somewhere... and when it comes to its senses, it finds the same name on the tongue... Achieve this. And your heart will be even warmer. This is heaven - on earth, but heavenly! What else should we look for? Unfaithful death will come and close your eyes, tie your hands and cripple your legs and give it to worms. How merciless! – But you won’t even know how it will sneak up... But then what! The calculation is already short! The soul is poor, naked, alone - you can see through everything... And it sees itself, and everyone else sees it... but there is nowhere to hide and run away. This is the need and the cramped conditions! Think about this hour and this minute. And the Lord will help you prepare for it, and stand boldly before the Lord and say: I have fought the good fight. The Lord gave us repentance as a heavenly laver. It cleanses the whole soul, like snow cleanses whiteness. Let us begin to cry and lament. There are many sins, no good. What shall we do? Lord have mercy! “We are perplexed by every answer, this prayer, as we offer to the Lord of sins, have mercy on us!” How sweet to the Lord is this voice from the mouth and heart of a sinner! Let's join the ranks of sinners. Their crushing voice passes through the sky and brings the Lord from there to earth. The cry of the unrepentant brings the Lord down to judgment, like Sodom, and the cry of repentant sinners - to mercy, like Nineveh. Where are we going to become righteous? And it’s a disaster for us when the thought falls on self-righteousness... What an evil thought this is! How she kills the soul! Like harmful dew on a delicate flower, or a terribly cold wind that ossifies everything. Whether it’s a matter for a sinner who repents. The Father's embrace is open to him. “I will fall upon his neck and kiss him.” God will not despise a contrite and humble heart. Let's do this. When we taste the sweetness of repentance, we will not want anything else. Now you are starting to learn how to catch flies. Fine. - I mean condemnation. It’s just not enough to say, you have to feel sorry, contrite, and with fear, as in a court case, confess your sinful thoughts to the Lord. So anyway. For this there is constant repentance, which is the main task of those who pay attention to themselves. When evil thoughts attack, one must turn the eye of the mind away from them, and, turning to the Lord, drive them away in His name. But when a thought stirs the heart, and this evil one takes little pleasure in it, then one must scold oneself and beg the Lord for mercy, and beat oneself until the opposite feeling is born in the heart; for example, instead of condemnation, exaltation of the other, or at least a heartfelt feeling of respect for him. Self-praise and condemnation are two of the most common things among us. The wicked heart itself is rubbish, but everything trumpets: I am not like the others. And there are so many shades of this that it is impossible to list. Work harder to strengthen yourself in mental attention, and you will see what a treasure our heart is. Do this: in the morning, become more deeply established in your thoughts about the Lord, stand before Him with your mind while praying; and then strain all day not to depart from Him, taking His sweetest name as your aid. Whether you are doing anything, talking to someone, walking, sitting, eating, let your mind be with the Lord. Forget yourself, and again return to the Lord and scold yourself with contrition... and that’s all... this is the feat of attention. Then, in the light of the Lord, not a single thought will be hidden, and their assessment will be correct, all good looks will be scattered. Meanwhile, the soul will cleave more and more tightly to the invisible, and become stronger. Remember what happened to you in the monastery. Those are empty urges. This is the anxiety that was during Lent, when there was anger, stronger. There are even stronger ones... Where to go then? So we need to prepare ahead of time a peaceful place in our hearts, at the feet of the Lord. Will there be an alarm?.. now go there, and scream and shout, as if to reprimand the black sickness, and the Lord will help: everything will calm down. There's a storm again; and do the same again. That's the whole program of life. May the Lord help you. Just don't be lazy! The Lord will see that you are forcing yourself to pay attention and remember Him, and will give you this grace... But work is still needed, even though it alone will not solve the matter. Sometimes when you pray, you feel like you don’t want to say or read words, so don’t say or read; but stand like that, or bow... How good it is not to ruin this state and continue it as long as possible. But the evil one is cunning. Now he’ll slip in some business to keep them busy, and everything will fly away. Pay attention and don't give in. But as a general rule, prayer cannot be established without words and reading... and no one has ever done so. You still need to correct your rule as it should... and if during it a warmth comes and your tongue ties, stop reading... But when there is a light warmth that is supported only by reading, then you need to read everything without stopping. Also, reading ascetic books, to strengthen oneself in attention, is a necessary condition; but only reading books about sobriety, attention and prayer. Other books are entertaining. Let's continue our conversation. You think that you are working in vain on the Jesus Prayer; such thoughts come to you. But don't you think that all the power lies in words? Words are aids to a weak mind, which does not willingly stand in one place and on one subject. And the essence of this matter: mental standing before the face of the Lord - with fear and trembling, unceasing, non-wasting, accompanied by the warmth of the heart, pulling into one all thoughts and feelings and dispositions. When your heart is warm, there is reverence, your mind sees the Lord, this is the essence of the matter... put this state into words and it will be: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me! And conversely, when that state does not exist, this prayer will reproduce it; it must be pronounced only with attention, with thought and with consciousness. What's the use of reading without consciousness? After all, this is not some kind of conspiracy. You find it more pleasant to pray to the Mother of God, read it... or the Our Father... or another poem that keeps your mind in order. And the Fathers did this; they didn’t all say the same prayer. Joannikius the Great said: My hope is the Father, my refuge is the Son, my protection is the Holy Spirit... And then the Jesus Prayer was recognized by everyone - according to the rite of Mary, crouching at the feet of the Savior, which is the only thing needed. You have seen a split in yourself, and you wonder how it is possible. It must be. At first, man was isolated in himself. After the fall, another man came, completely opposite to the first. Before a person turns to the path of truth, a passionate person - wholly composed of passions - overcomes and drowns out a dispassionate, pure person, but does not destroy him. When, with the help of God, a person awakens from sleep, he will begin to fight, to escape from the claws of a passionate person, or to tear himself out piece by piece; one stands on one side, the other on the other, and their fire is terrible. But a person has one consciousness, although the internal movements are divided. So it’s not clear what two opposite voices are from one heart. Pay attention to yourself. And tear away the evil, and embrace the good. Look (hey, you read it), Macarius of Egypt beautifully depicts this duality. Read more... What is written by Ap. Paul: “I see another law in my heart, warring against the law of my mind, and taking me captive through the law of sin” (Rom. 7:23), this is our duality. A person who is on the side of the passionate with his consciousness and heart is completely passionate and disgusted with God. A person who is on the side of the dispassionate, although there are passions in him and his passions are fighting, is not disgusting to God, for the sake of disliking passions and the desire to do not according to them, but according to the will of God. With this good proposal of the heart and determination to please God, he is considered not guilty of those passions that tempt him, for he does not want them. While they are silent, there is a strong need to cry out to God. We walk on our feet, and under our feet the volcano is ready to explode... Mother of God! Cover us with Your honest omophorion. “Should you read other articles in the Philokalia?” Those listed are sufficient. Do not be confused by the fact that some bodily activities are prescribed in them, for example. tightness of breathing, sitting on a chair, gloomy place, etc. All this happens to many people - and it is not the essence of the matter, but the situation, the adaptation of the external to the internal - is not useless. When you come across something that is not easy to understand, skip it and let us know. Constriction of breathing does not mean a cessation of it, but only a compression of the larynx. You do the same, but you don’t notice. When you beg for help in grief, it comes from a constricted larynx and with held breath. Is that so?.. This is what it says there. The effect is taken as a means to the cause. In the article of Callistus and Ignatius and, it seems, Nikephoros there is a lot about this, and in Gregory of Sinaite. It will catch your eye, don't be embarrassed. This is a setting, a means, a benefit, and not the essence of the matter. P.S. I am sending you a notebook about correcting your heart and fighting sin. Please read carefully. These articles will explain to you what happens inside us because of the sin that lives in us. God bless! – So you began to understand that you need fear as a sure fence. Pray to the Lord and the Most Pure Lady that he will come and fill your heart. There is nothing painful in it - but a reverent, sober and sobering and refreshing feeling - like the morning breeze - it does not take away warmth, but gives it true temperature. Love alone softens and softens. But there is a blissful warmth - from inuda - a state similar to the state of love, where, however, in reality this latter does not exist, but only its apparent ghost. This last thing makes the soul a daring mistress, and then it gives itself liberties and privileges, as if by some kind of right, considering them nothing, and not wanting to give an answer to them. It’s good - if you get away with it - and the Guardian Angel holds your hand like a hand and takes away all the troubles, otherwise it may end up with easing after easing and - goodbye all. It was because of this misfortune that great fear accompanied the saints, until the very end and after the end - until God’s decision. He cuts away all alien whims - and puts the soul in alignment. And we must pray! Thy fear, Lord, plant in the hearts of us who sing Thee. This is what your post was like - in Vel. Friday! “It’s just in vain that you attack the fast,” and you became so angry with him that you will never fast like that again. As God willing. Maybe you can fast for a week and nothing like this will happen. This is what the Lord wanted to show you - what you are alone - without His overshadowing and covering grace. At this time, the Lord retreated a little from you - he did not abandon you, but retreated: you were left alone - with your strength, and completely with what is in you. This is the law of the wise grace of God. First, he showers the soul with all sorts of consolations, and everything is easy; and how the heart is covered with warmth and the mind with the lightness of contemplation. But here a tempting thought is close: well, thank God... now it seems we have settled down (you have this expression in your letter) - not like before... things are going well... the heart is not bad, and the mind is not bad... What was good before is not at all from your strength and labor, but from the Lord, according to His only goodness; - you truly dreamed, or relied on yourself, or felt strong and safe. The Lord took off the robe of His grace from you - you were left alone... everything became dry, hard, and gloomy... that is, the Lord gave an answer to your thought: “look at what your heart is - and what your mind is!” the heart is angry, and the mind does not know what it is thinking about, and the will has lost all zeal. So here's God's lesson for you. Memorize it - and never know yourself any other way than the way you were that day. If you are better, give everything to the Lord - and thank Him and cry out in fear: Lord, do not take away from me the cover of Your grace; - and you all see yourself as you were that day. Grace carries the soul like a mother carries her child. When the child becomes naughty, and starts looking at other things instead of the mother; then the mother leaves the child alone and goes into hiding. Noticing himself alone, the child begins to scream and call for his mother... The mother comes again, takes the child... and the child clings even tighter to the mother’s chest. This is what grace does. When the soul becomes arrogant and forgets to think that it is carried around and held on by grace, grace retreats... and leaves the soul alone... Why? - then, so that the soul comes to its senses, feels the misfortune of the retreat of grace, and begins to cling to it more tightly and seek it. – Such a retreat is not an action of anger, but of God’s admonishing love and is called an instructive retreat. Macarius the Great and others have a lot about this... and Diodochos, it seems, is at the end. It's so good that this happened to you. Learn. And don’t shy away from fasting. He is a very kind thing. Only little by little... Usually so that after eating everything in the soul remains the same, that is, the same warmth of the heart and the same lightness of thought. This is the measure. This will determine the quantity. A special fast must be taken when there is an internal need - the soul demands, - conscience obliges... then there will be great strength, because then the soul is angry with its body and wants to torment it. “I was very distracted... And to say the least, what autocracy! after all, a person; “And then you deviate a little, and judgment begins in your soul... it gets boring - before it was more peaceful and fun.” What a terrible word escaped you. This is the same thing: go away, I don’t want to know Your ways. Repent and weep deeply before the Lord, so that you don’t get angry for the whim and say: when you don’t want to, get out... There is an internal, invisible judgment of God and God’s rejection. - Ah! Lord deliver us from him. “Of course, we are people, like all people, and we cannot suddenly tear ourselves away from everything, but we must give ourselves this indulgence, forcedly, with self-condemnation, and not by right.” By right, we are sinners unworthy of any consolation... If the Lord left both external and internal consolation on earth, it was only so that we would not fall into despair, that is, to show us that He is ready to have mercy on us, and not because we have the right to consolation. A prisoner in prison is sometimes given privileges - not by his right, but by the mercy of the Tsar, that’s us. It was more peaceful and fun before. What was before was not what should be. They are ghosts of peace and joy, in self-forgetfulness, as if intoxicated. If you work hard, the Lord will give you lasting and true peace. But you need to work hard. - If you deviate, there will be judgment and anxiety. Thank God that there is judgment and anxiety and trouble when the calming voice subsides. Don’t you really want to go at it with all your might, without any delay or restraint?.. What autocracy! Who are you telling this to? After all, it is the Lord who wants to rule over you, or who wants you to give Him His right over you. Are you really some kind of mistress? You are a slave, bought at the price of blood, more outrageous than the blood of Abel - either for your justification if you are obedient to the Redeemer, or for condemnation if you rebel. Learn this and listen to that voice that tells you: this is not good, leave it; and this is good, do it (read chapter 6 of Epistle to Romans). For the sake of the Lord, work out your salvation with fear. Do not allow yourself to give free rein to your soul. It must always be kept on a leash in thoughts and feelings and in desires, precisely because they are not good, not friendly to us, they are in conspiracy with the prince of the century, who crucified himself against the Lord for us. I asked you before and now I beg you, listen to what your inner voice is telling you and now satisfy its demands. Don't give freedom to your soul. What are we talking about now? And what good will it do when we create with one hand and destroy with the other? You allow freedom of thoughts, speeches, deeds, in the thoughts that others force. What are we worrying about now if not about keeping a sober mind, despite all the external entertainment? If you remain collected when you sit alone, when you read, reason, pray, then there is no achievement in this. This goes without saying. It wouldn’t be like anything if the mind wandered at the same time. But this is a true feat - to stand with your mind before the Lord, despite the fact that everything pulls you away from Him. Delve into this matter and seek this. How? When you start, you will see how. Do not allow idle talk, jokes, or laughter. We need to tie our tongues. For this is a wheel that mostly revolves in hellish steam (James ch. 3, 6). Speak when you have to. You should have one speech: Lord, have mercy on me - a prayer sanctified by the sweetest name of the Lord. This is an urgent law, and not something that can be done or not done. Don’t be angry that I wrote rudely, but this is how it is, there’s no other way. May the Lord make you wise. Word: don’t measure yourself, you liked it. Do you understand well what this means? Not measuring yourself means not thinking that you’ve already grown from an arshin, ten fathoms, but that one is only half an arshin, and this one doesn’t even have a quarter, and the like; and to think that we are nothing, without stopping, however, and even more and more zealously to succeed, according to the Apostle, “forgetting what is behind, stretching to what is before, we will reach the Dondezh to the extent of the age of the fulfillment of Christ” (Phil. 3:13; Eph. 4:13). For God’s sake, don’t take these words this way: what you have is enough, why force yourself? No. “Be like me,” says the Apostle, “as I am unto Christ” (1 Cor. 4:16). Write these examples in your thoughts and strive to reflect them in yourself; otherwise it seems you thought that a soft pillow was placed on you so that you could sleep more peacefully. God forbid! Yes, you have zeal. Isn't it amazing, tell me? What we know best, it seems, is the heart, but we don’t know where it is and we don’t know how to find its place. But it is necessary. God bless you! Work, but without much stress or effort. Pray that the Lord and the Most Pure Mother of God will help. I remember that you wrote that the attention even makes my head hurt. Yes, if you only work with your head, and when you descend into your heart, there will be no work, your head will be empty and your thoughts will end. They are all in the head, and they are chasing one after another, and there is no way to cope with them. If you find a heart and know how to stand in it, then every time thoughts begin to confuse you, you just have to descend into the heart and the thoughts will scatter. It will be a cozy corner, a safe haven. Don’t be lazy to descend... There is life in the heart, and you need to live there. Don't think that this is a matter of perfection. No. This is the work of everyone who begins to seek the Lord. Then only the beginning of life, when concentrated unquenchable warmth appears in the heart; and the warmth is light, very fragile. First God created the light poured out; and on the fourth day he concentrated it near the sun. – It is possible in us too. “And it doesn’t require much work, just constant work.” This is heaven! - Seek and you will find. Push and it will be opened to you. For the Lord's sake, listen to your heart in relation to the affairs of others. You will have ideas on how to excuse them. There is great anxiety in your heart. Leaving aside - right or wrong, I turn to one heart - and I see there a fire, an ulcer, pain. Turn there too, and have pity on yourself. What need do we have for others when there is a fire at home?.. Let's hurry to our house and start putting it out. Get ready for battle ahead, think about all sorts of cases, discuss them, and decide what thoughts to reflect the bad in each case. This technique helps a lot; for you will not be taken by surprise. But time and experience will teach you another thing. Just never give up your good intentions to cleanse yourself and correct yourself. The decisive intention to work for the Lord to the point of the stomach is the root of life. When this is there, it means there is life; and when not, there is no life. With it there may be mistakes, evasions, even strong falls; but when it is intact, it’s not a problem yet. Anyone who falls will rise; If you're hurt, you'll be cured. It is the thread on which all goodness is strung; but it is also a knife with which everything unkind is cut off. Keep this heartfelt zeal, devoting yourself to the Lord every minute. And the fact that, due to circumstances, sometimes there are involuntarily omissions, retreats, even crooked steps... what to do? – Just don’t justify yourself in them. Condemn yourself before the Lord, contrite and confess to Him. And one more thing - never allow yourself to do anything arbitrarily, consciously. Be patient with the Lord in all your troubles, in all your obstacles and inconveniences. He sees everything and measures it with the right measure - what are you doing? How can we sinners guess what we are? Earth and ashes. Strengthen yourself in prayer little by little. The Kingdom of God does not come by discretion. - Like rain on a fleece, it will fall at one in the morning, unnoticed. And not suddenly, but you have to work. According to work and peace, the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding. Father O. Seraphim calls this a peaceful dispensation of the heart. May the Lord protect you! Grace and peace to you from the Lord. Pray to God for me. God bless you and have mercy! The week of our labors has passed, next there will be semi-labors. So I got into the rank of confessors. - “I am definitely a witness.” But how tangible it is to know how wide the embrace of the most merciful Savior is, accepting every sinner. The five wounds of the Crucified Lord are small; but behind them lie immense receptacles. No matter how many sins you come with, and no matter how many faces you come, everything will be hidden there. Write everything that happens in your soul, just don’t think that you, or I, or anyone else can well understand the power and significance of what happens. Only God knows. On our part, all that is required is perfect devotion to the will of God, and a deep cry: “save me through your destinies.” You are afraid of becoming selfish from attention to yourself. Last time I wrote to you about the practice of this attention. Start doing this and don’t be afraid. Egoism is formed from external exploits without attention to thoughts. Whoever begins to truly pay attention to himself, and establishes himself in this attention, will begin to receive from himself every minute the most convincing lessons in humility. For then it will be revealed how much uncleanness lies at the bottom of the heart. Thoughts, movements, desires constantly emerging from the heart - not always right - will let you know that the heart is something other than a purulent scab, emitting a disgusting stench. This feeling will sink deeply into the soul - and where is the egoism? The path of attention to oneself is the path of true humility - and the only path to that. – Here, you yourself write: the opposite of good arises. Where is it from? From the soul. It became inside the soul there is a reserve of the opposite of good. What kind of soul should we consider this? Certainly not a saint. Whoever does only external feats and does not pay attention to himself will fall into selfishness. He makes a few bows, sits and dreams: well, now we’ve worked hard. You see, they borrowed God. Or he won’t eat until he’s full - and thinks: so are all saints; - that is, at least write in the calendar... and other things like that. External feats are essential; but dwelling on them alone is a disaster! Have you met at St. Fathers' expression: action and reason, in which they combine all the work for the salvation of the soul? This is also what to say: feat and attention. Sorry! I wish you all the best. The Lord protect you! Save yourself! Let us give thanks to God for everything that has happened to you and for current affairs! Every gift is good from Him, the Father of lights! But why did the ghosts start around you? I'm afraid because of them. Try to extinguish the memory of them. How many of the ascetics, respected by all, have been caught in the enemy’s net in this way! Trouble! - How long will it take to get confused? One of them needed to find something in his cell, but it was dark - a light appeared and pointed out the thing. It began with this, but it progressed to the exaltation of oneself above the Lord Jesus Christ, and ended in madness. Look at Lavsaik, how many examples there are! Moreover, the Fathers prescribed a strict rule: do not believe in miraculous things, in any light, etc. There will be no sin if, out of fear, we do not believe the true phenomenon; but there is a lot of trouble if we believe what is false. Because then the enemy will cling and pull everything to the top and to the top - and throw it from there. Pray that there will be no miracles around you. You don't need them. They are needed where there is no faith. What do you need it for? Pray to the Lord to take away the memory of that. And always say it. - God save you! Everything external in spiritual life is very unimportant. It's all in the heart. – As for the lesson, you need to work hard. You say – should we start? Is this left to chance? No. - This is inevitable. God is everywhere, and our soul is completely before Him through and through. You must also stand before Him with your consciousness. How all the Angels and Saints see Him, and do not take their eyes off Him; so we, who still exist in the body, need to behold Him. Just as the sun holds the planets and leads them along with it, so the entire spiritual world, including our souls, must hold on to God and be led by Him. And this is not an hour or two, but continuously, from the moment of awakening until oblivion in sleep. You can’t suddenly put yourself in this state. A feat is needed. - This is what is needed now. - Get involved! There is nothing to be afraid of. – To clarify the matter, read the articles on sobriety in the Philokalia. Attention must be placed above the heart. You need to get out of your head and into your heart. Now you have the thought of God in your head, but God Himself is, as it were, outside, and it turns out that this is external work. While you are in your head, your thoughts will not settle down calmly and everything will pulsate like snow or summer pushers. As your attention enters the heart, thoughts will begin to subside, and then completely subside - and the atmosphere of the soul will become pure, pure. Then the fly will fly by, you’ll notice, but before that it’s all darkness. The beginning of the fruit is a concentrated and unceasing warmth in the heart. And that's it. – Only familiarity with the Lord must be abandoned. Great fear is required. Just as great nobles stand in order before the King, so let the soul also be before God. What is the indecent position of the body before the face of the King, are the faulty thoughts of the soul before God; and forgetting about God, even for a minute, is the same as turning your back to the Tsar. You once said that there is jealousy in spiritual achievements. Yes, and it’s great! See for yourself. - Fill your soul with fear. It is not painful, but refreshing. He is the beginning; but it doesn’t leave it the whole way, it just gets cleaner and cleaner. Solitude and reading are two wings of this activity. But start - and see for yourself everything. What helps and what ruins will be revealed now. But we must strictly implement what we have learned. Conscience will come into its own and begin to scold. Listen. How many quibbles there will be! Do it. Afterwards everything will equalize and go smoothly. God help you! May the Guardian Angel overshadow you! The cover of the Lady be upon you! Well, thank God you started learning your lesson. God bless - for the glory of His holy name. It’s difficult at the beginning, and it seems like some kind of absurdity, pretentiousness and how many unprofitable thoughts about this matter! – The main thing is to become mindful in your heart before the Lord, and stand before Him continually, day and night, until the end of your life. Use a little work. The duration of learning a lesson and duty is short, depending on faith and zeal. Don't weaken. “There will be suspicion of the person advising, and displeasure towards the very act of prayer—blasphemy against it, exhaustion, a desire to give up—precisely because it is tricky.” Dangerous! don't listen, keep your job. The enemy most of all blasphemes this prayer. For then the fire burns him and drives him away. He has no attack on the person in whose heart the Jesus Prayer is implanted. The sweetest name of the Lord, constantly sounding and speaking in the heart, even without your knowledge, will beat it. For it happens that the soul, through negligence and foolishness, forgets and daydreams, but when it comes to itself and returns to itself, it finds that the same thing is being sung in the heart: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner! – Your thought about casting yourself into the dust before the Lord is the core of this work. Be like this incessantly and that’s it. One must stand in prayer as if at the Last Judgment. - So! - In line! – This is not to allow free movement and not to give rest to the body. Any rest in the body is detrimental to the soul. Afterwards you will find out everything yourself. Just put it as a measure - a warm fall to God. This is bliss. Consider anything that interferes as an enemy. Tomorrow is Lazarus Saturday. You will read these lines, probably, at Easter. - Christ is risen! Repeat this from me and everyone you know. - But before the passions, let us go through them and delve deeper into them and learn love from the Lord, who exhausted Himself for us, and how to offer ourselves to Him as a burnt offering! - God bless! I wish you peace from the Lord. P.S. I’ve been meaning to send you a notebook for a long time. I'm finally sending it. Read it. The rank of passions is over! The Cross of the Lord was needed to restrain all our weaknesses, sins and iniquities. Lord, have mercy and draw us to Your cross! – Sometimes the Lord leaves us to walk in the wills of our hearts until the time comes. Take a walk - take a walk. But Lord, grant also the grace of contrition. Knock him on the head so that he comes to his senses and sobers up his mind a little. But what can I say? Nobody likes a tight path. – Will oppression come from outside? - Murmur. “But I don’t want to oppress ourselves.” - We are looking for freedom. How much the Lord suffered, and what remained in Him not suffering, and what was not given up for our sake - all exhausted - love is uncontrollable... that’s fitting. This is the exactness of conformity with the will of the Trinitarian Deity. And the commandment given to us by deed. To everything we must say: this is how it is. And the end of all thoughts and all objections. It is said: “deny yourself,” and so it befits. It is said: “Fear God,” and so it befits. It is said: “our life is hidden with Christ in God” (Col. 3:3), and so it befits. It is said: “Gird up your loins with your thoughts” (1 Pet. 1:13), “Be sober, be vigilant” (1 Pet. 5:8), and this is how it should be. - And most importantly, what is appropriate? - Once you get down to business, just get down to it, but in fits and starts, nothing will happen. When they dam a pond, how do they do it? Suddenly they rush to block the passage. And if you put a clod of earth and leave it, the water will carry it away. Put the lump again and leave it - again the water will spread it away. And so - labor without end - but we still can’t build a pond. Apply this to your soul. The current of thoughts, like a river, quickly flows from the head and heart. Suddenly you need to clamp down on the passages and never let go. But if you hold it a little and let it go, it won’t do any good. This is the same as building and destroying. – Remember that, it seems, I already wrote to you: that as soon as you notice something that ruins your good undertaking, do not allow yourself to succumb to it. This is the law. – For God’s sake, overcome yourself in many ways. Run away from talking a lot, hearing jokes and laughter; they are the greatest evil. You see this for yourself. Is it possible to laugh and talk idle words before the face of the Lord? “You forgot that you were before Him and everything went wrong.” To prostrate yourself at the feet of the Lord is the most essential thing. Keep this good feeling or deed of your soul. I believe that for this reason the Lord will not leave you to be blown about by every wind of thoughts and will release from Himself the power within you - and there will be a current of thoughts! And then the light will be seen. It will become clear, as on the bright Resurrection of Christ. - For this is the resurrection of the soul, or the germ of this resurrection. Patience is needed everywhere. - For without him, what will we do? Every little thing requires it. But the most merciful Lord also gives blessings to patient and constantly conscientious work, but turns His eyes away from laziness and negligence. The tension of strength, even small, produced for the glory of God, is fruitful; at least - traces of skill he believes: and skill in good is a great thing. I will convey to you, as it were, the words of the Lord from the Cross. He says: “I exhaust Myself thus; and you are sleeping." “May the gut-wrenching jealousy take us too.” Pray to God for me. I wish you all the best! See how generous the Lord is! He gave you a sense of what you should be looking for and what should always be on your heart. – This is warmth, burning of the heart, at the thought of the omnipresent and all-seeing Lord, accompanied by fear. - Make sure you achieve this. But don’t dream of achieving it suddenly. They say St. elders: what is quickly gained is soon lost. What you achieve with difficulty, then and with frequent hardships, you will value dearly and cherish more diligently. - Just don’t be timid, but everything is yours, and yours. Thoughts of all kinds will come. Do not accept them, persecute them in the name of the Lord. This is how they did it, turning to the Lord as a child. Don't dwell on them and don't want to talk to them. It seems that Hesychius has everything explained: the preposition is a thought, the first step; pay attention to that; the second step is holding the thought in the soul and talking to it. This is already bad: for here there is a conversation with the one who slips the thought. Next is pleasure with thoughts. This is even worse. Next comes the addition or inclination of the will: here it is not far from the matter that decides the fall. Whoever cuts off a thought puts an end to everything; and whoever takes up it, there is a danger that everything will go further and further. But what to write? Read the Philokalia and you will see everything. Have you read Hesychia? Read Philotheus, Theoliptus, Nikephoros. But don’t read everything in the Philokalia. And those are enough that are indicated. I looked at the wall, and Father O. Seraphim was looking. - By the way, I remembered. Have you read his instructions? Read, and you will see that he talks about everything too. Here is the portrait of His Eminence Innocent of Penza... Read his letters, and you will see that he too. Whoever you turn to, everyone is the same. So there was nothing to refuse. Just get down to business and work on it until you reach the end. May our Lord send you peace! Glad you are now in the monastery. – There the Mother of God will teach you everything good. How scared I was when I read about resistance to prayer. The most evil of all spirits is the spirit of perseverance. This is a real satanic spirit. He has destroyed and is destroying all demons. They pass it on to us, or they put it in us and kindle it in us in order to destroy us. But then I was very glad that you soon came to your senses and corrected yourself. God bless! Pay attention to yourself, for God's sake! Before, when you didn't get down to business, everything went away. Now any retreat and any wrong bending of thoughts and hearts is very harmful. May the Queen of Heaven deliver you! That thoughts come is not a problem, but the problem is when the heart and will are formed with them. It's hard to get better. So you spent a little time in this state of conscious stubbornness - and see how difficult it was to soften your heart. And now learn by experience. You can see for yourself how to get out of the difficulty. Just like you did. Rub yourself in every possible way, like rubbing a numb part of the body... prayer, bowing, church service, labor, almsgiving. I’ll tell you in advance: perhaps even more terrible thoughts will come, the so-called blasphemous ones - blasphemy against God and all the Christian sacraments will come from the heart... Stand then, and do not be afraid, scolding the one who puts them in. Read about this from St. Dimitry of Rostov. Why do you want to bother so much about outfits? Behold, the spirit of peace blew and inspired according to its kind. Lord deliver you from all deviation. Outfits are not a big thing, and there is no trouble yet. But have you seen how they play billiards? The ball is placed, the cue is taken, it is planned... just to push and - it will roll into the left pocket. Outfits can deliver exactly this situation. - Listen to yourself. I think the monastery has already explained all this to you! May the Lord arrange your way. Don't be afraid! Everything that comes to your mind is an empty raid - tempting. The heart, as you see, is completely alien to any doubts. The thoughts evoked are not yours: spit on them. This is what St. advises. Dimitry Rostovsky. This is the reason! You have heard empty speeches, the memory of them remains. The enemy takes these memory traits and weaves a net out of them before the eyes of your mind in order to confuse it. Then go into your heart, turning your eyes away from the ghostly images of the enemy, and cry out to the Lord. The fact that you don’t see success is not bad, but good. Trouble when you see it. Just not seeing success, apply jealousy and prayer for success, and do not indulge in carelessness. How can everything happen suddenly? A good thought has come to you to go to a monastery, go as soon as possible. You heard empty speeches and were confused. - Compare the state when you are in undisturbed faith and in your order with the state into which these empty speeches put you - and see where the truth is and where the lie is. After all, this is also like heaven and hell. Do you really want to be your own enemy by abandoning the first and leaning toward the second? You say: “How come the others are dead.” This is a ghost of peace, their spirit is dead: spiritual and carnal life is a muddy life - joyless. If they had woken up even a little, then different speeches would have started. So, please don't hesitate for their sake. Isn't there enough evidence for you? And inner consolation, and the closeness of the Mother of God, and quick and sudden help, and much more! What else? Do you suddenly want to go to heaven? Wait. Everything has its time. And that the thread of life is unevenly woven, this is the case with everyone. So don't be shy, please. The confusion will pass. Start reading, praying, and everything will be fine. Meanwhile, write - write everything... As you write, everything will fly apart. God help you! Save yourself! So you are in a safe haven. God bless! God grant that those who come will not prevent you from coming. Manage to stay at home. It would be nice to say goodbye to the whole world and roll off somewhere so far away that even the sound of the world does not enter your ears. You have now chosen this good part. God grant that this time does not pass in vain for you. It will not go in vain - of course. But I want you to be more envious and not allow you to waste even a minute without something lastingly useful to your soul. Someone once said: make sure that your thoughts do not go beyond the walls of the monastery, and you will soon find the sweet peace of monastic solitude. This is the most blessed part of Mary - to arrange herself in such a way that there is nothing in her thoughts except the church and her cell. How good! – I think that the bliss of this state cannot be described. Contact with the world deeply stains our soul. Sit down and clean it off! - all the work! And then there is death! - And you won’t look back when he arrives. Let us at least work as hard as we can. The door of repentance is open. Make the effort to cry before the Lord, and so on—deeper—deeper. What else can we give? If there are no tears, let’s say: there is nothing, Lord. Save them with their destinies, just save them. To read to you St. Isaac... It's good that you took it, everything is there. Just pay attention! Collect, collect. This is a spare for you. After all, you are visiting the Mother of God. And She is hospitable - very, very. It's good that you hid! God help you in everything. All the best to you from the Lord! May the Lord bless your stay in the monastery. May the Mother of God warm you and wipe away everything inspired by the hectic order of life in the world. Rest, calm down, gather yourself - and then with new strength, for a new feat or a new waste of strength. But, God knows, maybe an opportunity will open up for a new order. How good it will be. Peace within oneself and peace without are two fences for a person hidden in the heart. Now everyone is teasing him; and it does not have the strength to establish itself. Lord, be your helper in everything! Not suddenly; it is sown with patience, vegetation, growth and fruitfulness are patiently awaited - with patience everything is preserved. This is wisdom. It’s good that you took your friends with you - the writings of St. ascetics. Under the influence of the monastic silence and prayerful mood, their instructions will be closer to the heart and will be more clearly understood. So, like a bee, collect honey from flowers. The future will provide space and opportunities to put everything into action. The spare does not interfere. There is a proverb: save your money for a rainy day. – There are many expenses in life. Collect without getting tired. Everything will come in handy. Every blessing from the Lord to you! Save yourself! You are with the Mother of God! God bless! After reading your letters, I just said: thank God! In the business you have started, moving back is very disastrous. It starts with the most seemingly innocent little things, the benefits to which a soul that has not worked hard lays claim. I hope and hope that the Mother of God will always protect you. In your patience gain your soul. Don't be embarrassed by failure. Our business is to work – to seek – and to pursue; and when it comes, only the Lord knows. One elder of Athonite (about him is in the Philokalia) pestered the Mother of God for two years to grant him fire in his heart, and was heard. Do not set deadlines, but do it and ask that the one who gives prayer to the one praying will grant it to you too. Seek and you will find. You see for yourself that there is some action. And thank God! But it's still a long way off! - Don't be exhausted. Once you stay in the monastery, calm down. It would only be good for you to be more secluded as much as you can find the opportunity. May the Lord bless you with abundant blessings. You write that “Letters” are not read without eagerness. Marvelous! What do they find there? In every possible way, this must be attributed to the kindness of the readers, and not to the dignity of the book. As if no one thought about the one who wrote more than how much there is. There was a time when I needed to study the doctrine of asceticism. Then two or three people met, quite familiar with this subject. They introduced me to him too. So, I heard other things, read others, and came up with others myself. That's all the sources! - And someone else doesn’t know what he might think. In the monastery of St. Savva the Sanctified I happened to review many books entitled: Patericon-Fatherland. These are mostly collections of articles extracted from the writings of St. fathers The elder read the Holy Father and wrote down for memory what seemed especially good to him; I read others and did the same, etc. This is the origin of almost all of these fatherlanders. But among the articles included in them, there were many whose writers should be recognized by the elders of the Savvinsky monastery themselves. What is written in them must be recognized as the fruit not of study, but of experience. I will send them to you article by article [These articles form an addition to these letters]. Read it! This is completely different from your letters! Now I am transmitting to you one: Conversation between an elder and a disciple. You say that you have been approached with questions about certain items in the surplus articles, especially the article on the fight against sin. Collect these questions and send them to me: I will compose answers to them if this turns out to be necessary. It would be better, of course, if everyone started this fight with action. Then all points would immediately become clear. What is the essence of reasoning? Of course, they are not a bad thing, but they are not too important either. Who bothered you so much with questions about how to save yourself? - as if it has not been resolved, and we have to be the first to start this matter! What is Christianity? An image of salvation for the fallen. The Lord Jesus Christ “came into the world to save sinners...” (1 Tim. 1:15). The matter is clear. Why even think about it? How many saved people do we know? How did they escape? In the Church of Christ. Let him live as the Church commands and be saved. Let him believe only everything in the simplicity of an undemanding heart, and let him give up sophistication and questioning and not disturb the quiet area of ​​​​faith with them. To those who are not entirely clear by what and how salvation is accomplished in the Church of God, this is what needs to be said: “Believe in everything that the Holy Church commands you to believe, and, receiving the powers of grace through the sacraments and kindling them through participation in all other sacred rites and through the fulfillment of all other decrees of the Holy Church, follow unswervingly the path of the commandments prescribed to us by the Lord Jesus Christ, under the guidance of lawful shepherds, and you will be saved.” – If we look around, we will see that all this is already happening around us! Let us humbly trust in the grace brought to us by the revelation of Jesus Christ, not wavering by perplexity and doubt. When you go to a monastery, it’s for solitude. It is bad to live in a monastery for someone who, in communication with many, wants to live there, as if in society. And there you only need to know one thing - the abbot or spiritual father and elder; and relative to others it should be located as if they were not there. Then everything will go well; and without this the confusion is such that it is worse than the St. Petersburg balls. Education, semi-education for those wishing to join a monastery are extraneous things. The main thing is the middle, that is, a good mood of the heart and a good goal. Bright concepts about everything will come later by themselves, and nobility of heart and even nobility of methods will come, as more than one example has shown. It is true that today’s monastic life, as they say, is not like the old one, but when God arranges the path, it will lead to where it will be good and saving. Believe this. You recalled one piece of advice that someone gave you during our last war: not to go to the theater only during that war. Very gracious. Is it possible to add more? Just as war is called for by the oblivion of God during peace, then during peace one must in every possible way avoid everything that leads to oblivion of God. Isn’t that what theaters are like? Remember what happens to the soul in the theater and what happens after? The Turks do not have a theater; they replace it with opium. Opium and theater are one and the same. Theater is a completely un-Christian thing, and a person who does not go to it is smart. We adopted it from the West. The Lord has punished us and will punish us with the West, but we have no idea. Another evil thing we have is our literature, filled with Western spirit, and the Lord also cleanses that with blows from the West. But everything is numb. We got stuck in Western mud up to our ears, and everything was fine. There are eyes, but we do not see; there are ears, but we cannot hear; and we don’t understand with our hearts. Lord, have mercy on us! Send Your light and Your truth! What kind of fear do you have? she's not natural. Pray against it to the merciful Lord, and He will give you courage. Be brave, be brave, people of God, for he will win! In the monastery on the Borodino field, the psalter for the slain soldiers is read continuously in the church. At night, his sisters take turns reading it. One of them told me that when it was her turn, she almost fainted and often ran out of the church. But then her spiritual father told her to pray precisely against this fear. She prayed with fasting, and the fear went away. What treasures you bought for yourself! In the Lenten Triodi there is a whole soul lamenting about sins! And Ephraim the Syrian! Even the most non-tearful person will cry with him. You already know Isaac the Syrian. There the whole matter is spelled out in more depth, and the whole path of God is clear in full view. He says that short, laconic and even wordless prayer will come on its own when the heart is cleansed. You asked about St. communion. It doesn’t hurt at all to receive communion often with true preparation. It would be nice - every Lent, and on Lent and before Christmas, twice. However, as the Lord puts it in your heart; It’s just good to take communion. Where is the belly! There are moments when you really need a word. Poverty of speech is God's punishment. Lord, have mercy on us! What did you meet in St. Petersburg, or how did he meet you? This city is wonderful! the true image of fallen humanity! I remember Jerusalemite N.N. Are you thinking about going there again? Enough. We must build our Jerusalem at home; and he is doomed to be trampled underfoot; until the end of the times of tongues. What did you say that you are broken in both soul and body? You have the Mother of God there, so I can’t believe that you are upset, but maybe you just don’t notice the creation of the inner at the same time as the destruction of the outer. The dust from the latter makes it difficult to notice the former. May the Lord strengthen you! Thank you for the book (foreign, against the Orthodox Church). Now the time has come for us to enter into an open debate with the West. The Latins will lift up their proud eyes. Self-deluded confidence prevents them from listening to the truth. The simple sense sees the lies of their supremacy, and opinions about the origin of the Holy Spirit, and their new dogma, and everything else. All these novelties, according to the consciousness of the Latins themselves, were formed in the 11th century. And this is mentioned in the book, only with misinterpretation. However, you can’t retell everything. In a quiet monastery you only have to pray. You mentioned that you are cut off from worldly ties. Hurry up to bind yourselves spiritually, so that it does not happen that you fall behind on one shore and do not reach the other. I can’t explain what your urge to go to the theater is. There is no sense in the theater. You know that. Why do you want to go? And whatever thoughts come, let them come! Drive them out and fight! Others are sent stronger temptations, but you are sent mild, mental ones. Show faithfulness to the Lord in this small way. The evil one wants to tear the soul away from the Lord in some way - not with direct evil, but with trifles. Others, as they wish. Everyone will give an answer to God for themselves. Theaters were invented by the government for those who are not looking for salvation, so that they do not indulge in any evil vice; for those seeking salvation there is a Church where the Lord, Angels and all the saints communicate with us not in a representative way, but in fact! Isn’t it better to give the money that needs to be spent on the theater to those in need? I'm afraid that you might succumb to the enemy's suggestions. The enemy is clever. First he demands a small concession, then a larger one, then even more, and so on endlessly. The further into the forest, the more firewood. At least Father Fr. Seraphim threatened you! Who pulls you away from prayer but draws you to the theater? Can you see who it is?! Crying about sins and being in the theater, how does this not fit? You need to cry day and night. I don’t remember what happened to me and where I was when you served the prayer service. It was the Lord who sent you consolation for your concern for your neighbor. Pray more often for my repentance, so that the Lord will give me a spirit of repentance. How good it is with him and how bad it is without him! The breath of a Christian should consist of repentant sighs, and when there are none, it means that he has suffocated. Lord, have mercy! I wish you every blessing from the Lord. You are being praised. What's so wonderful about this? In the absence of fish and cancer, fish, as Father Fr. Parthenius. This, however, is highly recommended by our society, that in it there is sympathy even for the shadow of good... Meanwhile, this is very disadvantageous for you. A drop pierces a stone with frequent falls. A particle from each praise falls on the worm of pride and vanity and feeds it; it grows unnoticed by you, allowing you to have humble feelings until it has become stronger. And when it’s ripe, everything will grow at once. Dangerous! And what else? Praise tickles the heart, stops jealousy and relaxes. This is the same as tripping someone running. A stop in spiritual life is already a backward movement. And this is bad! What to do? Humble yourself and suppress the elevation of your thoughts and hearts with all sorts of humble feelings about yourself. Then, as stones of sweet speech are struck in your ears, go into your heart and humiliate yourself in every possible way before the Lord and His saints. What great feats they performed to please the Lord! What do we have? Let's go to church one day, make five bows at home, read a page of the book of salvation - and we will become saints. How true! Humble physical labor helps a lot. Servants are also good teachers of humility. Desire insults and, moreover, wrongdoers; at least greet them as a saving plaster applied by the Lord to the wound of vanity. But don’t think about doing anything on your own. Run to the Lord, who humbled Himself to the point of being a servant. He will teach. Just don’t be careless about this condition. Praise will freeze you, and you will emerge as a marble statue, not ugly in appearance, but lifeless. Deliver you, Mother of God, from this! It is better to wallow in the mud and be trampled upon by everyone than to be like this. You write: “in my dreams I pray fervently and earnestly, but in reality I pray lazily.” Glory to Thee, Lord! It is good that the soul prays in sleep, when we do not give it the freedom to pray as much as possible during the day. However, this is a good reminder! It is given to know that you are diligent in prayer and pray without being lazy... You felt good in your sleep when you prayed, and during the day when you got up... This experience seems to tell you: “Look, this is where sweetness and bliss are, this is the fruit of prayer! So don’t be lazy.” Will you obey? - good for you. Won't you listen? It might happen again and again, and then they’ll quit. “You can’t do anything with her,” they will say. It is clear to feel how good it is to pray, and does not want to. Let her be as she knows.” That's right. God cannot be mocked. He is very lenient towards our weaknesses, but cannot tolerate disobedience. But for everything, thank God. Give thanks for everything! The Lord is your Helper. All glory to God! It is advisable for you to figure out why the Lord allows the Gentiles to oppress the Orthodox for so long. Where can we reach high and contemplate the deep thoughts of God! We have no understanding of times and summers. Do you see what our understanding is? They predict (in the calendar) 15 degrees of heat, but it turns out to be 20 degrees below zero. And this is in ordinary things... But where are we from the ways of God? “The Lord loves him and punishes him. He beats every son, but he receives him” (Heb. 12:6). Isn't this enough for us? Suffering is not a sign of rejection, but of mercy. You needed your sleep. Imprint on your heart the words that someone said to you: “There are no words to describe the bliss that is there”... Let’s take every care about this, so that we can reach there, or at least crawl on shells. Help, Lord! I’ll repeat: beware of praise. What to do? – Reproach yourself more, and even more so, pray to the Lord to instill deep humility in your heart. Believe now with experience what St. said. Isaac the Syrian in the first Word: “there is hardly a person who could bear honor without changing his inner self.” This is what the evil one invented! And what is he, believe the testimony of St. John Climacus (Homily 26, § 7). Be patient. This appears to be the last trick, but a dangerous one that lasts a long time. Help you, Lord, to stand! P.S. Here are two more articles for you: Margaritas and the instructive word of the elder. What you won't find here! Both the internal and external order of life are all explained and, moreover, from different sides and in different turns. Eat this bread and share it with others if necessary! This is so that if you yourself do not have to fulfill what you read, the Lord will have mercy on you because others to whom you read it will do it. I’ll review, re-clean and soon send you the rest of what I have. May the Lord comfort you! In my opinion, it is better to leave everything to the will of God. He alone knows what someone needs and how to arrange it. Therefore, do not make any guesses about the arrangement of your fate. Time and circumstances will tell everything. Your friend is heartbroken and grieving. May the Lord comfort her! The martyrs were purified and prepared for the Kingdom of God by fire, planing, and cutting... But we have a different purification. To each his own; big for one, small for another. Lord, have mercy on us and bring us to understanding! The year is coming to an end! How quickly life flows, hour after hour, day after day. You look, and the door of the coffin is before your eyes. What to do with the soul? Great cunning is needed to control oneself. The elders of God overcame themselves, but even then not always. This is where you talk about willpower and autocracy of the soul! Where is it, please point out, philosophers? Only the one who gives himself to the Lord with everything is given the strength to control himself, or such strength is poured into him. And as soon as he starts to toss his soul, just hold on. The poor thing groans, but there is nothing to do. Listen! Save yourself! Peace be with you! The eccentric N.N. got confused in the Lutheran thought about justification (i.e., only believe and you will be saved. Works will not help). Lutherans have great confusion regarding this point. Who's going where! This is how one must believe: Man by nature is obliged to do the will of God, must love God and his neighbors and show this by deeds, but he has fallen and become powerless. The Lord came and established on earth the path of salvation in His Holy Church. Here sins are removed and the power is given to do the will of God. Why is this strength given, if not for deeds? The Apostle Paul commands the baptized to walk in “newness of life” (Rom. 6:4). Elsewhere he says that we are chosen and called to be holy and blameless before the Lord in love (Eph. 1:4). From the Apostle Peter: all Divine powers are given for what? To life and godliness (2 Pet. 1:3). How can a person cleanse his heart? By labor in fulfilling the commandments that are opposite to passions. Ask for help, but also work hard yourself. Without your work, help will not come. But even from labor, if help does not come, nothing will come of it. Both are needed. In a moral sense, N.N.'s proposal can be given weight. So: do, do, but don’t rely on things and don’t look at them; and according to the Apostle, “forgetting what is behind, stretch to what is in front” (Phil. 3:13). I wish you all the best from the Lord. I thought that N.N. would be angry with me, but she did something else; true, kind and humble! Save me, Lord! Without the fear of God, nothing can be done. Living scattered is bad. Two gentlemen to work - what to eat? Just one thing. There will be no point in going back and forth. Light and darkness do not get along together. I wish you peace from the Lord. Do you know what bleak thoughts I have? And not without reason. I meet people who are considered Orthodox, who in spirit are Volterians, Naturalists, Lutherans and all kinds of freethinkers. They passed all the sciences in our higher institutions. And they are not stupid, and not evil, but in relation to faith and the Church they are of no use. Their fathers and mothers were pious; Damage entered the period of education outside the parental home. The memory of childhood and the spirit of their parents still keeps them within certain limits. What will their own children be like?! And what will keep them within proper limits? I conclude from this that in a generation, many in two, our Orthodoxy will dry up. Well? sit with your arms crossed? No, we have to do something! Evil principles entered science and life; We don’t have books, by reading which, those who are still capable of reason can come to their senses... We need hot books that protect against all evil. They should dress up scribblers and force them to write. Is something going on with you now? – Learn to bow to the ground. You would see how in a well-maintained monastery everyone ceremoniously steps out of their places and begins to bow or stand obliquely, crossing themselves. And you are being lazy. Let's praise the Lord! Woe to us! Satan has entangled us and we cannot get out. He prescribed such tyrannical laws that we can’t help but follow them and implement them diligently. How much poison! I think you know all this. You get from all this. Be patient and pray. The Lord is omnipotent. You won’t notice how you’ll be thrown out of this pool. Just look around and marvel at how it all works out. But again it will happen if necessary. With our desires, born of pride and self-pity, we cannot and do not know how to do anything good for ourselves. Red! and take coal instead of gold. Wow! what bleak thoughts come at times! What will our way of thinking, our literature, our customs lead us to? Thy will, O Lord, be upon us. With Your all-powerful right hand, dispel the cloud of freethinking, unbelief, indifference and all-round self-indulgence that surrounds us. May the Lord our God send you His peace! The fortune teller has come to you and is writing with a pencil. It's tricky. It's kind of like revolving tables. I just don’t think it was God’s gift. God's extraordinary gifts are difficult to obtain, and nothing will come of it. Pagan priestesses also guessed about many things successfully... but they were not true prophetesses. How many flattering spirits there are! In the Kiev-Pechersk Lavra there was one elder who, without teaching, knew the Old Testament from memory. Whatever they ask, he knows and reads everything. But he knew only the Old Testament and nothing from the New Testament. They suspected him, the elders prayed for him, and he forgot everything. Same here. It would be good to read incantatory prayers over her and then ask. I even think that by standing with her in a strong spirit of prayer, you can harness her prophetic skill. Isn't it better, however, to keep yourself away from such people? The Lord Himself told us everything we needed verbally. What more could you want? Save us, Lord! Thou art exalted in glory, O Christ our God. Happy holiday, peace to you! But where the Lord is seated at the right hand of God... we also need to sit there with our minds. Now I accidentally unfolded the life of Father Seraphim in the place where the soul-saving story is placed, and before this article about the Jesus Prayer. How good both are! Take the trouble to read and read. The whole course is here, everything is indicated. May the Lord bless your work, while it is material, in order to move on to the mental; Get used to counting the knots in your rosary, but with a sentence! Mother of God, be your helper. I wish you deep peace. Let this fire, which the Lord came to the earth, take root in the land of your heart. Pray for this and seek for this! God bless you! P.S. At the same time, there are six more articles, from the 4th to the 9th inclusive. Didn't have time to finish it all. You have become scattered, it’s time to settle down, drop everything and sit close to your heart. Remember the post and compare it with the current state; what a big difference! But you will probably be in Iver when this letter reaches you, but everything is different there. Take up reading and avoiding everyone. How your environment is ruining you! Arrange somehow so that prayer, reading, and handicrafts go in undisturbed order. Reduce relations. There is only one God and you - how good! But when this will happen, let us leave it to the Lord to decide. A thing is done better when it is done by itself, for then it is arranged not by the human mind, but by God’s will. And then there you go! You yourself began to make acquaintances and entertainment. Why joke? Now, tomorrow - death. And there they will not lay out what our fate should be based on maps. Who spoke so absurdly about the sacrament of the Body and Blood of Christ? This idea is Calvin's. And according to Orthodoxy, this is how you should believe! He who does not taste the Body of the Lord and drink His Blood does not have life in himself. Who abides in the Lord? eat His Flesh and drink His Blood. There is nothing unclear and no allegory here. This is how all those who were saved believed in the Lord, and this is how it is fitting for us to believe. You never know what will be said by those who do not understand and do not want to understand! And they are still talking about some kind of consolation! Where will it come to them from? The Lord will not ascend into an unbelieving heart, even if he stands at the door and pushes, but outside the Lord what consolation is there? Poor, poor! But don't be silent! there is no need to get excited; but briefly and simply telling the truth, casting a vote for it is our duty. And voting for her is no small matter. The Lord is with him, and where the Lord is, there is the power of God, and therefore action. Speak it from your heart. This will then be the most demonstrative truth! So you read the story about the ordeal. Where can you find something like this? Both sweet and edifying. In four menaions there is almost all of church history and all of it is of this nature. It sobers, touches and turns to God. God help you, save yourself! It is fitting for us to go through our work and our life and our service with fear and trembling, what is due to whom, and where, and how it is due. Like a bird of paradise, we must take care of this fear so that it does not fly away. It will fly away and is difficult to catch. In order not to fly away, you need to close the doors of the cage: collect your thoughts and connect your feelings with attention; To help with this, it is necessary to arrange home-bodying and single-family living. You have both. Therefore, you just need to be careful, lest some old acquaintance lure you away first to a conversation, and then to a walk. You are already quite behind the others. Where to catch up with them! Isn’t it better to completely get behind them and not look at those who live according to the spirit of the world? I think it's better. If you then have to come face to face with the world, then in every possible way it is appropriate to hold your head and heart, as Christians should, without giving in. It is a great loss that you do not have what the peace-loving people have! – and as if this is news to you! Let's go for it. And it seems that you should be somewhat inspired by the fact that the contrast of your direction with worldly aspirations is already so noticeable, for this means that there is success in what you started. But where do you get the idea that you are behind? Does this word relate to what we are talking about? One went ahead and the other fell behind. This can be said about those who walk the same road. But the same cannot be said about those who follow different and even opposite paths. Those who love peace flee to the west, those who are alien to the spirit of peace go to the east; therefore, everyone goes their own way. About those who look to the east, even if they did not walk, but stood in one place, it must be said that they are more successful than peace lovers, who certainly strive tirelessly, but to the bottom of hell... After all, all this is the truth! Why the hesitation? Do not be seduced by the imaginary kindness of the worldly. Listen with your instinct, do they, that is, their hearts, have any relationship with the Lord, and you will see that there is none, and what is their grace if not the embellishment of the tomb? Truly so. Forbid you, Lord, to somehow be inclined to think that those who love peace have some advantage over those who want to live according to the spirit of the Gospel. After all, we are not the first! The day will reveal who wins, and this day is not far off for each of us: now, tomorrow. Take courage, and let your heart be strong. Grant you, Lord, every consolation! What's wrong with you? Be strong and be inspired! Otherwise, do not think that you will find help in entertainment. Entertainment is already depressing, but when you are depressing, it makes you even more depressing. Yes, yes. In moments of external gaiety, the disease of the heart is forgotten, but when, after the amusement and entertainment has passed, the soul is left alone, it makes itself known to its owner with doubled, tripled and even tenfold grief and longing. After all, the whole world knows this, but does not listen, no matter what you say. So you're behind everyone... Grief has taken over, and well, look for entertainment! Come on, it’s better to ask the Lord for mercy, consolation, and the Most Pure Lady. Now, if They give, then they will give, as they should, lasting consolations. Turn to Them! To do this, of course, you need to sit at home and pray, or go to church and also create; and to think a little and read is good. You can clearly read St. Isaac is a Syrian, and do not abandon him. He will teach you everything. I wish you every consolation from the Lord. Pray, and the Lord, the healer of all infirmities, will heal you. You write about N. N. Well, what kind of soul is she, that with her speeches she casts a gloomy shadow on everyone and everything. There are sinners at all degrees, and God's mercy covers them, awaiting conversion. Particulars cannot be generalized, that is, from one case to the character of a person and from one person to a whole class of people. It's time to stop believing her, covering everything with a joke. And always, in the face of condemning speeches, keep the rule: do not believe. One elder, when someone came to him and began to speak badly about another, asked him: how do you know about this? He said: a good man told this. Well, no, not kind, the elder answered him. If he were kind, he would not speak ill of another. That's what we need too. May the Lord deliver you from seeing deeds, and not believing hearing, and your soul will be pure. But what about the sin of condemnation? After all, as soon as judgment about the actions of others is combined with contempt for them, and not with brotherly sorrow for them and with preserving the honor of their face, this will be condemnation - a great sin! Pay attention to yourself! You sinned a lot by tempting N.N. on the way to eat milk on Wednesday. After all, they didn’t die of hunger! It would be a different matter if you encountered such a need as death, and there was nothing to get except milk. Then nothing: eat to your health. And the way you did it was a sin. This sin increases because N.N. went to St. Petersburg, where there is an abyss of temptations. Now you have shaken their rules on the road and dispelled the fear of breaking them under some pretext. From this little thing they can transfer the indulgence to another, from another to a third, and so on, all in increasing order. The answer for everything is entirely yours. This is not a stretch of the court, but the real thing. And aren’t you yourself of the Tatar faith, that you didn’t eat meat at the right time? You won’t understand what this is!.. Did the law about food come from you, that you can dispose of it as you want, but others don’t dare? Wonder! And it’s even more surprising that this seems to you to be a foreign matter... But I think differently - that in this matter you should grieve more for yourself. After all, those N.N. were not entrusted to you so that you could teach them to break the fast. They look at you as a good Christian who should be imitated, and, perhaps, they decided to taste it for your sake, so that you would not be ashamed to be the only one so mercilessly hitting your mother, the Church, in the face. Hit the mother in the face! Do you see how things are? And you talked about this very easily. You want permission. I forgive and absolve you and everyone from this sin by the power given to me, although I myself am a great sinner. But what good does this do you? Is absentee permission strong? Go to your confessor and judge yourself before him and ask for penance. For God's sake, do not disdain this matter... A millstone around the neck, and into the water - who cares? To the one who leads into temptation. And so grieve, hurt and beat the fans, and appease the all-merciful Lord. There is mercy, especially to those who repent. Thank you for the tree and the pebble. All this is not bad, of course, but what is more needed is a pebble in the middle, one on which the legs of the mind should stand firmly, without barging here and there. Help, Lord! Why are you angry? After all, all the blame does not fall on people, but on the evil one - the seducer of people. That's right. And do not sin by thinking and feeling differently. Let everything be as it will be. Our business is to give in to need and satisfy benefit, but why dissolve a whim? You need to be masters over yourself. This is why we were created, this is why we were recreated by the Lord! We have two sides: an indefinite flow of desires and thoughts and consciously free and reasonable activity. The latter must dispel the darkness first. It hangs over the soul like some kind of fog, and if the soul does not come to its senses and return to its rank, it can be carried away into empty, useless, and sometimes harmful deeds and activities. We have one law: to achieve, as much as possible, that state in which everything disappears from the soul, and God remains one. Oh, if only the Lord would help! Let us pray: He is loving. Let us open the door of our hearts and minds to Him. To bind, He does not bind. Everyone create something yourself, force yourself. These compulsions not only relate to external matters, for example, to get up, go to church, etc., but more than internal ones, namely: to dispose oneself to one thing, and to distract oneself from another, all according to the instructions of the commandment and the requirement of the life that has begun. After all, she teaches too. For this only compulsion comes later and God’s help and organizes both internal activity and external behavior. Help you, Lord! You go to church, that’s good; and at home everything will be done according to order: when to read, when to pray, when to work. But entertainment, and especially noisy ones, must be run around in every possible way: they destroy the peace of the soul and seed bad desires. What you met at N.N.’s was good. There would be more such cases! There you saw that you were no good, and you were as if abandoned. This feeling must be warmed and exalted in oneself in order to truly become wanderers and strangers on earth. How? Here are similar cases. For we ourselves all trumpet ourselves and appear to ourselves in too rosy a radiance. And then they’ll blow up this fog! So that's good; But the fact that some philosopher and some philosopher met, I don’t know if it’s good. It’s not visible now, but later you’ll see for yourself. If they want to know the truth, humbly tell them that you know, and if they want to be with you only for the sake of a pleasant pastime, then it is better to leave them. Astronomy is a simple thing: you can learn what is accessible to everyone through reading. Look for the book of Nahum about the peace of God. Everything is written there, and the peasant will understand. One can get confused in books of this kind that are currently being published. The trouble is that our astronomers add their theories to the facts and, for the most part, confuse them and fall into lies that are contrary to the Word of God. This is something to be wary of. The matter has already been decided that it is necessary to make acquaintances only out of confidence in like-mindedness and like-mindedness, and without this, multiplying acquaintances is only ruin. How many do you have? N.N.N.N., etc., there are at least a hundred of them, there’s no counting. Here the number means nothing: everyone is as one, and even though there is nowhere to put a finger, there is room for everyone. If you haven’t tested it, you don’t have to place it as a friend. But this is not a completely important thing; there are more important things. You write: “I barely pray; so, according to conscience, with negligence; I’m reading, the book falls out of my hands.” Why did you fall asleep? After all, there is no need to casually skip these cases. You need to give in to your fear a little, jog your memory. It’s good that afterward the soul in the church softened a little, otherwise trouble was not far away. Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. Of course, this kind of state, i.e., a certain frenzy of the soul, is not entirely in our power; in every possible way, however, one should not remain indifferent to him, but at least cry out to the Lord and Lady. But this, it seems, has already been discussed more than once! What's all the commotion in your house? As I read the letter, I feel like the wind is moving through the rooms. It's not exactly clever. Of course, not everything here is in your will, but other things are also in yours. For example: keep yourself collected during visits, with the memory of the Lord and the fear of God, do not say unnecessary things, do not go into judgment and do not make empty plans; all this and much more is in our power. And when it is in our power, therefore the answer for it lies with us. When you have been sent away and are left alone, you must quickly take hold of your soul and hasten to clean out everything that has been sown, raise it again before the Lord to a reverent position and again take on the order of your previous ordinary activities - whether reading, handicrafts, or something else. There is no need to worry about paying visits; I had to, it’s good, but I didn’t have to, it doesn’t matter. So do it. Just fly to church, as if on wings, and collect there the aromas of prayers and thoughts of God. God bless you! Are you surprised by the melancholy or feeling of dissatisfaction N. N. This is in the order of things! Her spirit demands its own - spiritual, heavenly. But she gives him the wrong thing. So he teases her. Let him change his life, let go of vanity. How much do you need? Just change her intentions and discard some customs, for her life is not shameful... But she doesn’t want to and doesn’t want to; That's why he suffers. Who is to blame? There you go! They began to talk about fasting in the Basurmanian way! Look how it's written in the charter! It says: eat little by little, dry food or a lean decoction, and eat too late. What is it here – is it just the quantity that is taken into account or something else? Not only quantity, but also quality. And everyone aspires to become Orthodox! Where are you going with a head like that? What kind of readings do you have there? And what of this reading do you find useful and applicable to life? The last sign should be a test of the kindness of the study of the Scriptures. But there is another study, which is no good - the fruitless inquisitiveness of the mind. Here's how to figure it out! If, while listening, you see that all thoughts, like soap bubbles, although red, are empty and soon crack from the slight movement of the air of sound reasoning; know that what you hear is a matter of idle inquisitiveness. And if, while listening, you find that what you heard sits on your heart and is pressed into it, and presses it, crushing it, or expands it, delighting it with unearthly hopes; then know that what you heard is not a matter of idle inquisitiveness, but is the truth discovered by experience. For others, testing the Scriptures can be a great temptation. Will you be surprised? And so it is. Remember how Abba Serid beat Dositheus because the latter began to torture without any need, what does that mean and what is it, why is it written this way and not otherwise? Here's another example. In Philippi (Acts chapter 16) there was a young woman who had an inquisitive spirit, and the Apostle Paul cast her out. Look also at Philotheus or at Diodochos (in the Philokalia). There it is considered a bad thing when attention and prayer are distracted by the desire or urge to theologize. Yes, and you will find a lot of similar advice regarding the torture of the Scriptures. Have you figured out how the heretics came about? Every single one of them is from the torture of the Scriptures. So it turns out that this sword is sharp for both! And therefore, we must handle him carefully. This is what I will tell you to distinguish the true spirit from the spirit of flattery in this regard. An Orthodox Christian reads the Word of God and the truths directly contained in it, imprinting them on his heart, without moving his thoughts beyond the contents and without dominatingly and arbitrarily elevating his mind above it, but humbly subordinating it to it. For example, “obey your teachers... let every soul obey the powers that be.” The matter is clear! There is nothing to interpret here. The sadness is only in the heart, and that’s all... If something incomprehensible is encountered, the Orthodox seeks a solution not in his own mind, not in his guesses, but in the common custodian of all truth - the Church, i.e., he seeks a ready-made solution, recognized by everyone and offered to everyone in the Church; for example, “you are Peter and on this rock,” etc. It is not clear how the Church can be founded on Peter, when its foundation is the Lord and, moreover, in such a way that there can be no other foundation. Without further ado, to resolve this perplexity, turn to the Church and take the existing decision that here the word Peter does not mean the person of the Apostle Peter, but means a firm confession of faith in our Lord Jesus Christ. This firmness turned every martyr into stone. They pound and pound and will not break. But Catholics began to look for solutions in their heads and ended up with the Pope. No matter how absurd it may be, they still persist. If any passage of Scripture stirs up thought, and this begins to draw conclusions that are irresistibly pressing into the head, nothing: the Orthodox are not averse to this, he only treats these conclusions, his creations, not as with his own children, but as with stepchildren, subjects them to merciless torture, namely: inserts them into the entire totality of the truths of the holy faith (these are all the truths contained in the Catechism) and looks to see if they fit in with them, and if they don’t fit in, or contradict them, he drives them out of his head, like illegitimate children! If he cannot make this comparison himself, then he again turns to living or former teachers and asks them. This is all how an Orthodox Christian creates and how it should be created. The non-Orthodox does not do this. Some thoughts will be born in his head (good or bad, he doesn’t need to, as long as he likes them); he begins to rummage through Scripture and look for confirmation of it. In such a mood, of course, every line and even sayings that slightly indicate the dreams of the seeker are taken as evidence. Here are several texts collected, arbitrary interpretations are given to them, and then a conclusion is drawn, that is, the thought that was born in the head before reading Scripture, and finally the exclamation: “this is what all Scripture teaches.” This is how all heresies were formed, like Protestantism, like the papacy, with this difference from the first, that these still rummage through the Holy Fathers and force them (as recently in the new dogma). This kind of thing is what N. N. read to you. You are sick; but I understood your condition differently; That’s why I was going to burst out at you with the most threatening, reproachful speech for an outburst of great selfishness, in anger at N.N. and something else, but I forgot: it’s a past matter. Now I see that all this is a consequence of irritability of the nerves from illness! May the Mother of God strengthen you! Just take into account that such outbursts are a rather unvirtuous thing. This is truly Satan in the form of an Angel of Light. In appearance, there is nothing here except a sense of truth. The heart is boiling - and is ready to take a knife for the truth, in the language there is only speech that is the truth, forgotten, violated by another. And this other one, who dared to violate it, seems far more absurd to us and even malicious. And such a judgment is so right in our eyes that if the whole world were present with it, it would certainly approve of it. See how bright and legal everything is! But is this really the case? In essence, it always turns out that the basis of such a feeling of violated truth is always a feeling of offended pride, humiliation of our dignity, or failure to give it due respect or due price. The heat of jealousy in truth does not at all come from the fact that the road is true, but from the fact that someone dared to violate this truth in relation to us. If it were in relation to others, it would still be bearable, that is, perhaps they would say through clenched teeth: yes, this is awkward, and that’s the end of it; and perhaps they would have forgiven me. Do you notice that the cry for the truth is only on the outside, but in the middle there is a war for oneself?! Well, you can see who it is in angelic clothes! I reminded you of all this just in case! Our soul is a tricky thing. Whether it is in good condition or in bad condition is evidenced by peace or confusion. When there is confusion in the soul, no matter what it concerns, do not believe the soul at that time: everything lies, no matter what it says. At that time, Satan was trying to persuade her and, of course, it was not for her salvation; and she, poor thing, is struggling with all her might. “The wrath of a man does not accomplish the righteousness of God” (James 1:20). Everything of God is peaceful, quiet, sweet, and leaves this sweetness in the soul, and spreads it abundantly around, despite the fact that sometimes it seems to scold. And in this case, there is warmth and even heat, only of a completely different kind: tender, non-crackling. Have you sorted it out now? Do your work little by little, with diligence, and think less about obvious fruits. You must reproach yourself in everything, in everything. It’s good to protect your thoughts, and take care. Why wander around the crossroads? How can you see the sun when there is a column of dust and fog all around? Various dreams obscure the Lord. What is sweeter and more beautiful than Him? Why tear yourself away from Him and look at insignificance? How is this possible? You stopped by the monastery, and you don’t know what you’re doing! Either laughing, or partying, or chatting. If you don’t read, you go to church too lazy. It turns out that we went there for fun. The fact that before leaving there it was a little steep is no excuse. Well, let's get down to business quickly. We need to grieve a little, cry and be sad before the Lord. This is the reduction of the whole matter. Those who are correcting cry because they are faulty, and those who are correct cry because they are not as good as they should be and as they would like. So everyone cry. Lord, have mercy. Save yourself! I wish you peace from the Lord. The storm that exists within you is not a terrible disaster, but almost normal order. You need to stand firm. Everything is as you do, crying out to the Lord, the Most Pure Lady and all the Saints. It will pass. What is this from? You won’t guess, and there’s no need to guess. Everyone who follows this path experiences it. It is only true that the Lord does not abandon, but is immediately present and watches how the soul will fight in the battle it has allowed. He does not allow us to be tempted more than we can. Stop. May the Lord give you peace! Why did N.N. think I was gloomy? Well, now I’ve lost faith. But still, when it comes to business, concessions cannot be prescribed. Ordinary speech here and there, but God’s truth cannot be distorted. It is not ours, it is given to us. It is our duty to confess it and convey it to everyone pure, as it descended to us from the mouth of God. We live, we live poorly; at least we preach God’s truth without any mixture, and that’s good. Nowadays everyone is confused by the confusion of thoughts and rules. Tough times! The Lord, however, watches over his own and allows them to tangibly see and feel the holy truth. God help you! Bless you, Lord, for the good work of fasting. But that's it! Go to whatever church you want, just one. And hanging around different churches, as they suggest to you, is absurd. Is fasting a time for entertainment? It's appropriate to cry. I heard about the miraculous icon, but the beginning was not told to me that way. Well, it's all the same. The fact is that the Queen of Heaven is near us. Nowadays there is an urgent need for manifestations of the power of God in us. Thank the Lord! Therefore, He does not want to abandon us, but wants to keep us in His truth. It’s good that you’ve changed your mind about going to Sergius. This is not the time to scratch your ears. They read well in our church, and thank God. What else? If this were not the case, we ourselves could gradually get used to praying in silence. God bless you! Yesterday N.N. stopped by. He fasts furtively. In other places, if you don’t go to church, it’s a disaster; But with us, if you go, expect trouble. All progress! But there is progress even to the bottom of hell! Sad direction of minds! What were your fears? The power of the cross is with us! Strengthened by the hope and faith that there is more pain in us than in the world, protect yourself with the sign of the cross. But maybe this is something; passed and will not return. There you have the Mother of God. What can I tell you about prayer? It’s impossible not to pray. Work on prayer as much as you can. You can remain with only bows, without reading prayers, and, sitting, you can remain in prayer when you are weak, and you should always not deviate from the Lord in your mind. Help you, Lord! Do as best you can, but don’t allow yourself to be without the labor of prayer. To read to you is Saint Isaac the Syrian. It's good that you have it. Everything is there, just pay attention! God bless you! Save yourself! You already know from experience that everything that N.N. told you is a complete lie. And bows are not empty, and akathists mean a lot. I'll tell you one case. The late Feofan, abbot of Kirillovsky, traveling from St. Petersburg, stopped to spend the night. They were going to stab him there. The novice noticed this and told the elder, and the elder saw signs that this was the case. Despite this, however, he reliably lit the candle and began to read the akathist to the Mother of God, his constant rule. And I hadn’t even read half of it when some passers-by began knocking on the window—as if it were a convoy—and shouting: Father Archimandrite! Let's go together, it will be more fun. Harness, we'll wait. They quickly harnessed it, got out and drove off. When we passed the danger line, the convoy disappeared, and Fr. The archimandrite arrived safely at his monastery. So it was not in vain that I read the akathist. If we become wise, we will be at a dead end at every little thing, but in the simplicity of our hearts, accepting all the rules will be a saving grace. All the saints of God, who pleased God, how many bows they made - and there was no number of them, and how many prayers did they read? They all continued to work in prayer and thereby were saved. Well, N. N., with his mouth open, wants to accept grace, like the Quakers and Molokans, who say: The Church is in ribs, not in logs? After all, without this order of prayer and asceticism, a person will stand as if in the wind, or, even more, as if naked in the cold. And walking in this rank, he is dressed in warm and safe clothes. You all know this. Therefore, there is no need to hesitate with empty speeches. Regarding what happened, I can’t say anything; accept this as an indication from the Mother of God that the path you are following is correct. Such signs or instructions are given not to saints, but to those who seek salvation and need admonition. You can see for yourself that this is very timely. And thank the Most Pure Lady, who condescended so much to your weakness to dispel your doubt. So think that you, weak and wavering, needed admonition - it was given, but there is nothing to rise above. Let us thank our Most Pure Trustee and lament that we are doing Her work with our hesitations to the point that She needs to do this and that for us. But the path you have begun is not empty, and your work is not unsuccessful. The enemy clouds everything and muddies everything. Stand, take heart, be strong! Your coldness and dryness - why and for how long? Be patient and patiently force yourself to pray, then to read, or better yet to cry that there is nothing and that you are worthless. The anxiety of your soul, I think, is due to distraction. Get ready and calm down. Cry out to the Lord while sitting at home. May the Lord grant you to bear your present situation well. Hope firmly! Help you, Mother of God! R.S. Finally, here are the rest of the articles, from 10th to 15th. Pay attention especially to the last one, which talks about sobriety in prayer and, in general, about the mood of the mind in its turn to God! I accompany all these articles with one desire, that they serve you at the right time to sober up your mind... and refresh your inner self, just as the air is refreshed by the morning coolness. There are several other similar articles; but I’m thinking of placing them in the large Fatherland, in the form of an addition, or adding them under articles of appropriate content. It is good that you find pleasure in being a homebody; the more the better. External pleasantries, even innocent ones, rarely lead to good; and to evil they are the first door. They relax the soul, take it out of its inner fence. After them, a person feels completely out of place, as if broken. When someone accidentally falls and hurts himself, they feel sorry for him; and when someone carelessly falls to the ground and breaks all his bones, they not only do not regret him, but also scold him. What need do we have to slander ourselves? Was it a great thing to sit on an apple - beautiful, pleasant? And after that the Son of God had to be crucified in order to set things right. What kind of music are you going to listen to? Our musical plays are mostly rubbish: they tickle the ear without giving anything. I’m not tying you up, but it’s a pity if you go, because you’ll only become distracted and sad. If you listen to external music, the internal one will be upset for a while. Do not love the world, nor those in the world. Can you be there with the Lord? Hardly, for some communication? The world of art is a spiritual and even sensory world, and not a spiritual one. It's hard to refuse! – I believe; but being with the Lord is true self-crucifixion, not metaphorical. Will it ever happen? Be jealous about this. For then a source of consolations will begin to flow from the heart, which will quench all thirst for consolations of a different kind. God bless! So we calmed down. Help you, Lord, never go broke. But God's will be done. The corrupting breath of the spirit of flattery, operating in the sons of disobedience, will confuse anyone. Your laziness towards spiritual pursuits comes from the passion with which you took up your work. Don't get too carried away with work, otherwise your head will become cloudy. After the cloudiness in the head, the heart will become cloudy. Is it a great thing that you encountered trouble! All this is in order. Therefore, there is nothing to be embarrassed about. Think better about this: how to transfer the emphasis to the cheek and even more, how to substitute another after this blow? But this is the commandment of the Lord! If what happened is a blow to the cheek, then substitute another one. And you want to run away. Good disciple of Christ! After all, this is still the alphabet, that is, it is written at the beginning of the Gospel, on its first pages. Be patient! But I think everything has calmed down now; and don't wake me up. So the priest showed you his attention, why? Then, so that you may be in good spirits. Be grateful. In my opinion, this is an insignificant incident, and the fact that it disturbed you so much is due to the then state of your spirit - temporary. I wish you peace! And at any time in an anxious state one should not do anything, because this state is unreasonable, much less do anything decisive. Make peace! God help you! You should not play cards or go to the theater. What they say, they will say and stop, and then they will leave you. If you do this, they will come to you with cards and will constantly invite you to the theater. The evil one will then put many things at your service, just to break your head. It shouldn't be that way. Refuse! After all, it will be a discord with oneself. Why not tell everyone: “I act out of conviction. Cards are an empty thing; theater is harmful. For a Christian, both are indecent. That’s how I’m convinced, that’s how I act; and you do as you wish!” And let them go their own way. Well, if you do that, there will be disgrace and shame. Bless you, Lord, to labor; You just need to be smart. The thought that you need to be somewhere and that you need someone to visit you will not give you peace. Try to arrange yourself in such a way that you are reluctant to go out to anyone and reluctant to see anyone in your home. The elders write: while there is a desire to give and take, do not wait for peace. This phrase: give and take, embraces everything, all kinds of intercourse with others. It is not suddenly possible to achieve this; but a start must be made now. May His goodness grant you the sweetness of being with the Lord! Save yourself! Thank the Lord that you have peace in your soul and that you have endured everything. Always maintain such peace in the face of displeasure, in devotion to the will of God, and do not move. Pray that everything will be with you according to God, and that it will be enough. Make it a law not to do anything in an anxious state of mind, and not to speak either. No matter how plausible the outburst may be and no matter how right it may seem to be what one wanted to say and do at that time, still at this time the soul cannot maintain proper measures, much less purity, for this state in itself is always mixed with selfishness. God is your help! Have you understood what is written in the article: the beginning of the Christian life. Here is the program of a whole life, although only the beginning is depicted. For, according to a simple law, a good beginning is half the battle; and in Christianity, a good beginning is everything, for there is the seed of a future whole tree with leaves, flowers and fruits. Therefore, it is not useless for a beginner to look through this article. Many people do not like preaching. In vain. A sermon poured out from the soul is a great thing. Seek and you will find! For the Lord's sake, do not forget to read St. Chrysostom, no matter what book you come across. He wrote simply, without preparation, as things matured in his spirit and thoughts about them formed in his heart. Much of his work seems insignificant at first, but continue further and you will find a treasure that has no price. Others say that St. Chrysostom depicted the order of the common Christian life. For the most part this is true, but not generally. In almost every conversation there are sayings depicting the innermost life of the spirit. Study this and keep it in your heart in case of trouble and need. Saint Macarius is the threshold of Saint Isaac the Syrian. When an uncollected thought has lost all the ways of entering the inner sanctuary, unfold this book and read. Like steps, she will lead you to the royal dwelling and introduce you to the bright face of the King. There is an art to distinguishing thoughts. Learn it here in the subtle distribution of them among families and in mutual subordination. There is a higher innermost region of the spirit. Here the depiction of her in expressive paintings began. Do you want to know the roots of sin, the flattering changes of passions? – you’ll find out here. Reverend Father Isaac! pray to God for us and with your prayer illuminate our minds to understand the lofty contemplations with which your words are filled, and moreover, bring or introduce into the secret places of prayer, the production, degree and strength of which are so depicted by your teachings; Yes, inspired by it, we will be able to freely mother-in-law according to the commandments of the Lord, steadily, bypassing the obstacles encountered along the way, and overcoming the enemies who are arming themselves against us. In the Gospel, one concept is supposed to be read every day. This is a lesson from the Holy Church to our children. It is necessary to study... In the morning, when the soul is free from outside impressions, with a prayer for admonition, pay attention to this mystery of God's judgments and see what the living Lord speaks through this dead thing, as if taking out a word... There are people whose thoughts, knocked out of the heart by the Word of God, like sparks knocked out of flint by a flint, are written down as a memory, in the belief that these are the essence of the instructions offered by the Guardian Angel. And indeed it is. At the right time, such thoughts will be the daily bread for the soul. And the one who does not put them down does the same thing as the one who saves money for a rainy day. One old man had all his walls covered with such thoughts. In the monastery of St. Savva near Jerusalem there are many handwritten collections of fatherly sayings. All of them, one might say, are of this origin. You are already familiar with them. Look, for example, at Margarita’s second article. Even if there were no inscription, you could guess that all these sayings were born in the soul while reading the writings of the fathers, from which they were sometimes taken word for word, sometimes expressed in their own speech. The eleventh article, by the priest of God Leontius, contains the thoughts that are aroused in the soul when reading the Word of God primarily. Anyone can do this. Why the matter? Just put it as a rule, and it will work. [The answers to the proposed bewilderments begin from here] “Does everyone’s true Christian life begin with such a painful turning point as depicted in the fight against sin? And really, whoever has not experienced such a turning point has not yet begun to live like a Christian?” No, not everyone. Those who have retained the grace of baptism in all its purity do not experience such a turning point. But they must also be aware of the moment when they consciously begin the Christian life. This is precisely the moment when they consciously begin to consider obligatory for themselves the order of life in which they lived from childhood at the behest of their educators, by imitation and skill. At the same time, there cannot be any painful turning point because, having reached the conviction that for their own good they need to be Christians, and having decided on this, they find already prepared, both outside and inside themselves, everything that is required to live like a Christian; that is, their concepts, feelings and dispositions, as well as the external order of life, character and rules, have all been formed until now according to the spirit of Christ. Nothing new is added to them, except that from now on, out of a sense of duty, they begin to do everything that they had hitherto done out of custom and imitation. Blessed are these souls! But how rare they are! For the most part, people, having come to the idea that they need to be saved, find in themselves and in the order of their lives a lot of things that lead not to salvation, but to destruction, that is, either wrong concepts, or unkind feelings and dispositions, or passionate habits, or bad connections, and so on. and so on. Such, with the determination to live like a Christian, cannot avoid a painful turning point because they cannot help but feel the wrath of God for an arbitrary insult to His greatness, and because they need to tear their hearts away from what it previously enjoyed and incline them to what seems completely unpleasant to them. The more passionate habits and feelings someone has and the longer he has lived in them, the more painful and difficult the soul encounters when turning to God. The “struggle against sin” depicts the conversion of a great sinner. There is also a third class of people who, according to the external order of life, are perfect Christians, but inside they do not know what. Such people do not think that they need to change anything in themselves, and they remain that way. Meanwhile, their condition is bad. These are holy fools! They also have lamps on the outside, as they should be, but inside is empty: no oil, no lamp. God, deliver me from this! These too, without experiencing a painful turning point, consider themselves among the Christians who please God! But they have a big difference with the first ones. Those had and remember the moment when they consciously placed upon themselves the good yoke of Christ, or considered it obligatory for themselves what they had previously maintained out of skill, both for the sake of the significance of this time in their life, and for the sake of that especially blissful state that the soul experiences then. But these did not have this and do not remember, but as they are accustomed to live, so they live out of habit. And that would be nothing; but the trouble is that, having stopped at one external form of saving Christian life, they do not go inside to see what is in the heart and mind, and allow all kinds of impurities and obscenities to grow there; they seem to freeze outside. But the main thing: considering themselves righteous, they put everyone else in the row of sinners, especially those who do not give due justice to their holiness; That’s why suspicion and gossip, sprinkled with self-praise, constitute their main ailment. God, save me from falling into this rut! “If grace begins and without it you can’t do anything on yourself, then why bother? Live as you want until the exciting force comes. But unless someone decides to seek and begins to seek and seek, He who said: “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; seek, and it will be opened to you,” will not take pity on him and will not give His grace to this one who asks. But if this is so, then how come grace does not come with discretion? It is necessary to strictly distinguish between two things: the simple thought that you need to save your soul or correct your life, and the very beginning of the work of salvation and self-correction. It is still possible to reach the first point on your own because the word about it is scattered everywhere around us. Reading books and listening to the speeches of salvation, meeting a person who is zealous for salvation, looking at sacred things, the simple inscription of a book and many other things can suggest the idea of ​​salvation, make you even think quite seriously about it and start talking about self-correction. But all this is not the same as getting down to business. Until grace has come - a stimulant from the sleep of sin, then no matter how sweetly and widely the soul may talk to itself and to others, as soon as it touches the matter itself, it will immediately retreat back, for it is bound hand and foot. She is like a sloth sitting in a resting place. He willingly reasons with himself and tells others that he needs to do this and that, but since it is time to move, he puts everything off until another time. Such is the soul alone. Who, seeing sin in himself, or some evil passion, and knowing that it will destroy him, does not think that he must finally give up on it? But the trouble is that you don’t have enough strength, your arms give up and your legs break. What to do? “Let the soul cry out with all its strength to the Lord, that through the grace of His Spirit He will make me worthy to be free from passions” (sl. VI, ch. 16), says Macarius the Great. And pray at home, and go to church, and do not shy away from all sanctifying actions, read and talk, in a word - keep yourself under the shadow of grace-filled instruments, whether a spark of God will disappear from somewhere and will not ignite in the heart of all-consuming jealousy, a strong and powerful witness to the presence of God's grace... Seeing such work and the cry of the soul, the Lord will take pity on the soul and send it grace. Only at what hour, in what place and under what action, no one can say this. It does not come with discretion... almost always not when and where it is expected. Do you see now what you can’t do yourself! Look at “the fight against sin.” There these two things seem to be sufficiently outlined. One could be afraid of one thing: God’s grace would not forget anyone! But this is a needless worry! We, one might say, are doused with it... It does not retreat from anyone until the very grave: everything disturbs and awakens... I will tell you the vision of one old man. He saw a wide, wide field. Many people of all kinds walked along it. They walked through mud, some up to their knees or more, but they thought they were walking through flowers; they themselves were in rags, dirty and ugly, but they thought they were handsome and dressed up. Not a single one of them was dead, everyone was in anxiety and troubles, in troubles or disputes and quarrels with each other... To the east of them lay a somewhat elevated clearing, covered with grass and flowers, and to them it seemed dry, sandy and rocky. Behind this clearing a mountain rose, interrupted by ridges in different directions, higher and higher... From behind the mountain a light of extraordinary beauty could be seen, blinding and opening blind eyes. The rays from this light were sent in multitude into the noisy crowd wandering through the dirty field. Each head had its own beam. What about people? It never even occurred to them to look at the light from behind the mountain. And as for the rays, some did not feel their touch at all; others, feeling their restless blow, rubbed only their heads and, without raising their heads, continued to do what they were doing; others raised their heads and turned their gaze back, but immediately closed their eyes again and returned to their previous state. Some, fixing their eyes in the direction of the beam, stood for a long time observantly examining the light and admiring its beauty, but everyone stood motionless in one place and finally, either from fatigue or being pushed by others, they again began to walk along the same road along which they had walked before. Rare, rare, submitting to the excitement of the beam and its instructions, left everything, directed their steps towards the flowery meadow and then walked further and further to the mountain and along the mountain to the light that shone on them from behind the mountain. The meaning of the vision is clear by itself!.. You see that exciting grace does not leave anyone; Just let the people themselves not persist. “How to distinguish between what is the action of grace and what is one’s own desire to remain in goodness?” There is no need to differentiate. The true Christian life is arranged mutually - by grace and by one’s desire and freedom, so that grace, without the free inclination of the will, will not do anything to us, nor can one’s desire, without strengthening by grace, have success in anything. Both of them agree on one matter of organizing Christian life; and what in what matter belongs to grace and what to one’s desire is difficult to discern in subtlety, and there is no need. Know that grace never forces free will and never leaves it alone, without its help, when it is worthy of it, has a need and asks for it. The Lord is near! Pray! There is a life without grace, similar to a life with grace. Their difference lies in the inner mood of the heart and moral strength. Where one or the other is, one eye of God recognizes. But we must look at ourselves and painfully cry out to the Lord: O Lord, save us, O Lord, make haste!.. It is better to drive away empty curiosity. “You have it written: some begin to cut off vices on their own, but continue this work for a while and abandon it again. This is a self-made correction, without the inner spirit of life (p. 189). How is this possible? Is it really not true with God? Still, man desired and worked. Why is it left without support? Don't worry! The Lord will not hurt anyone. A glass of water is not forgotten, not just a lot of work. If only what is being done is done for Him and is dedicated to Him with the heart. And it often happens that in appearance it is done as if it were God’s work, but in reality it is completely different. How much deceit is hidden in the corrupted will of man! And who is able to unravel all his deviations and crossroads! I'll tell you one case that happened in Moscow in 1812, as I was told. There was one pious man in Moscow, a faster, a pilgrim, and a merciful man. Everyone revered him and everyone was confident in the firmness of his virtue. But when the Russians left Moscow and, after the French entered it, all our orders there were upset and everyone was able to live as they wanted, then this man, who remained in Moscow for some reason, indulged in drunkenness and unclean life with such uncontrollability and shamelessness, which was rarely seen among permanent sinners. The only Lord knows what this means! But I do not condemn this man (for the enemy’s intrigues are many, and our weaknesses are great), but only to clarify the thought that I intend to offer you, that’s what I think. It could happen that in his heart he always had a urge to do such things and never denied them in his heart. The external environment in which he was before kept him in good behavior. But when this barrier was gone, then the dispositions hidden in the heart came out and revealed themselves in corresponding deeds. How many people of this kind are there perhaps in the world! Everything works fine for a while, but then everything falls and becomes worthless. Why? Because everything was done for external reasons, and with their elimination the actual work itself ceased. Whoever has such an order of life, no one knows this except the Lord. Everyone must ask himself whether his correct behavior is built on such a fragile foundation? But if someone has this kind of service and it then falls, what reproach comes from this grace, when nothing was done here for the Lord, and what guilt is there in the path of salvation, when he did not have this in mind at all? “What does it mean: to restrict the area of ​​sinful movements?” This is also like rearranging the order of your external life and your activities, according to the spirit of the new life. When a person is given over to sin, then all the powers of the soul and all the functions of the body work towards this sin, and equally, the way of home life and external relationships is imbued with the same spirit. Now, if, after conversion, the sinner does not leave his former occupations and his former order of life, then they will easily drag him back to his old ways. It is necessary to rebuild everything and introduce new orders everywhere. Thus, the eye was accustomed to looking at what fed sin, the ear was accustomed to hearing what flattered passion, and other feelings were also instruments of vicious inclinations. Now we need, on the contrary, to make them instruments of truth. Let the eye see, instead of bad pictures, an image of the Last Judgment, or some image... Let the ear listen to church singing, instead of seductive songs, etc. There were also friendly conversations, walks, and the like... we must leave all that and replace it with other ways of mutual relations, for example, going to church, conversations with people of spiritual life, and so on. There was a habit of going to bed and getting up at such and such times, keeping the table at such and such times, because then the needs were different. Now all this must be given a different time and a different content... Previously, such and such books were readily read. Now you need to abandon them and take into your hands the Word of God and the Scriptures of the Fathers... Thus, you need to go through all your behavior and all your activities and everywhere make it a rule to do what the spirit of the new life requires. Like a plaster on wounds, this kind of new activity is for a soul wounded by sins and seeking healing!.. Whoever, remaining in the same order, wants to be cleansed of passions, flatters himself with hope in vain. Why did Mary of Egypt not return to Egypt to settle in the deserts there, but went into the desert beyond the Jordan? Because before she reached the Egyptian desert, she would have to encounter previous objects and would hardly have resisted the incitements of sin that resulted from that... Everyone must do the same. Having made a good intention to improve, you need to discard everything that was before and assign yourself new orders and rules. In this way, vicious inclinations and passions will be constrained or placed, as it were, under oppression. “It is written among you: a warrior of Christ must have two watchful guards: sobriety and discretion. Sobriety is understandable. But regarding good consideration, how can one find out what will be encountered during the day, and therefore what movements can be generated in the soul during the day, at different meetings?” Of course, it’s impossible to predict everything, but a lot can be foreseen, especially for those for whom the affairs of the day go in a more or less definite order. When going to any house, you can imagine in advance who you will meet there, what might be discussed, etc., and therefore probably assume that vanity or anger, or some other passion will be aroused there, and as a result prepare for resistance. Let nothing expected happen; and the mere suggestion of an attack will keep the soul on vigilant caution, and that means a lot. Another may think that he will then figure out what to do when he encounters this or that. Of course it is; but it may also happen that before he begins to think about it, his heart will already burn with passion and it may no longer be possible to overcome it. The last circumstance, more than anything else, makes it necessary to prepare oneself in advance for encountering various types of cases. Those who have experienced a lot and in many cases remained victorious can easily withstand themselves, no matter what they encounter, because due to their extensive experience they are ready for anything; and for beginners it is better to prepare in advance. To meet unforeseen cases that go beyond the circle of ordinary affairs, it is good to practice deliberate mental warfare. Namely, in a calm state of mind, imagine yourself under the influence of certain feelings and heart movements and immediately figure out how to rebuff them or how to turn your soul in a good way. For example, in such and such a case, anger may arise from speeches, gaze, judgments, etc. He must be tamed with such and such ideas. There envy can be aroused; it must be driven away this way and that... and so on. If we put all the wrong feelings and movements through this kind of exercise, then hardly any flash of passion can take us by surprise or unprepared. An exercise of this kind accustoms the soul to resourcefulness, or to bends that are opposite to the vicious inclinations of the heart, so that, having acquired the skill for this, one can move from a passionate state to a dispassionate one without much difficulty. And this is the victory or avoidance of abuse. “When exactly should we act offensively and when should we act defensively?” Experience will teach. For some it is better to act first, for others - last, or one or the other. But in general, it is known that at first it is better to act defensively or evasively... that is, when a tempting thought or some unkind feeling comes, do not begin to tidy up thoughts or actions with which you can drive them away, but, having removed your attention from them, turn to the Lord and, fixing the gaze of your mind on Him, beg Him diligently to deliver you from the attacking enemies, just as powerless children, at the sight of any danger from people or animals, do not enter into battle with them, and run screaming to their father or mother, hoping that they will save them from trouble. Others remain with this one weapon all their lives. You seem to know about this from the chapters of Hesychius the Presbyter. If you forgot, read it again. Stick to this last thing and you will never lose. “What does it mean that during the battle itself one should not take measures to prevent it in the future?” This seems very clear and self-explanatory. A soul that desires purity, and even more so, that has already tasted the sweetness of inner peace, cannot help but be annoyed when impure passions are aroused or when inner peace is disturbed in some way. She is then dissatisfied with herself and is angry at the reason for her unpleasant state. If you want to protect yourself in the future from such an event, you must, of course, impose certain rules on yourself to avoid its causes. But we shouldn’t do this in this state of dissatisfaction, annoyance and anger at ourselves, because anger knows no measure and will prompt us to impose such strict rules on ourselves that we will not be able to fulfill exactly, and therefore we will have to change them. And this change is a new defeat - not harmless. Let's explain this with a simple example. You slept an extra hour; This makes you feel relaxed, cold, and unstable in your thoughts. This annoys you all the more because you overslept an hour of prayer, or some church service. The reason for excessive sleep was that you took more food than usual, and this was because someone came to the table and distracted your attention, after which you ate as much as you wanted, absentmindedly. Having examined all this, in annoyance you decide: do not receive anyone, serve only one dish at the table, or prescribe dry eating, sleep not on the bed, but sitting in chairs... Orders were given, and the bed was taken out. The next day someone came and was refused. They tell you that this is such and such a person, the right person, with whom you absolutely had to see. It's a shame, but you can't turn it back. The time has come to sit down at the table. We ate. You feel that it is very meager, and you regret that the cook did not violate your will and did not prepare an extra dish... Finally, you need to sleep. Sit down in your chair... you doze, but don’t sleep... this goes on for a long time... You finally fell asleep, but soon woke up. It’s still a long way until dawn, but I can’t sleep, although I should sleep some more. So the hour is different. You need to get up. You get up... your head is cloudy, your lower back hurts, your legs can barely walk, your arms don’t work. You think you are sick. You order the bed to be brought and, having ordered a delicious dinner, go to bed. Having slept enough, you have a hearty lunch at a late hour; in the evening you receive everyone and don’t talk about anything. This is what it has come to! What is the reason? The fact is that they started to warn themselves against falling at the wrong time. “All the articles you sent contain almost exclusively monastic instructions. They will not go to the laity. I convey to you the opinion of people to whom I had to read some of these articles.” They are wrong to think so. In my opinion, these instructions can go to anyone who is zealous for salvation. This zeal will teach them how to take advantage of everything, how to even apply directly monastic rules to themselves. And whoever does not have this concern will not find any edifying scripture. They say: the heart gives news to the heart. Those who gave instructions gave them from the heart, since they formed them in their hearts through their own reasoning and experience. This is an echo of their heartfelt mood. The common spirit that inspired them and all their dispositions was the spirit of zeal for the salvation of themselves and every person. The same spirit is reflected in their word and permeates all their writing. Now, everyone who is zealous for salvation, reading their instructions, will pass through the outer letter to their spirit and, according to the spirit of jealousy that consumes him, will enter into a similar mood with those who wrote them and into sympathy for all the dispositions that filled their hearts, from him they penetrated into their writings and constitute almost the main content of them. The dispositions of those seeking salvation, or those dispositions with which one inevitably becomes accustomed on the path to salvation, are the same for everyone, whether one is a monk or not. The only difference is in the external deeds by which these dispositions are expressed. That is why I believe that every instruction compiled by a hermit and for hermits is a sweet spiritual meal for every zealot for salvation. There he will find what he needs and will be able to apply it to his life, if things that are incompatible with the order of his life are assigned to express him. Monks are Christians, after all, and those who enter monasticism care about nothing else and work hard than to be true Christians. And the laity are also Christians and should be zealous to be true Christians. Therefore, the monks and the laity agree on the main issue. How can now the instructions to monks not go to the laity? There is a part of the monks that does not go to the laity, but it concerns only the external order of life and relationships, and not internal dispositions and spirit. The latter should be the same for everyone, for “one Lord, one faith, one baptism” (Eph. 4:5). And that is why good lay people, zealous for the salvation of the soul, do not read enough of the ascetic paternal writings of Macarius the Great, Isaac the Syrian, Climacus, St. Dorotheus, Ephraim the Syrian, Philokalia, etc. And about those who shun the instructions in the articles, you yourself see that it is necessary to say: “They do not have the Spirit of Christ.” This word is cruel, but what can you do? Let them judge for themselves... What is written in those articles? About how to overcome passions, how to purify the heart, how to plant good dispositions in it, how to pray and succeed in prayer, how to improve your thoughts and constantly keep your attention undistracted, and so on. Shouldn’t this be the concern of every Christian? Were not the commandments given about all this by the Lord and the holy Apostles? So the Lord says: “watch and pray” (Matthew 26:41); “Watch always for those who pray” (Luke 21:36). This is a commandment about attention to oneself, one of the main spiritual exploits, which is also called sobriety, according to the words of the Apostle, who says: “Be sober and watchful” (1 Pet. 5:8). But lest anyone think that this is obligatory only for the Apostles alone, or only for perfect Christians like them, the Lord added: “And what I say to you, I say to all: watch” (Mark 13:37). By what right do we consider all the instructions about attention, sobriety and spiritual wakefulness - the primary subject of ascetic writings and articles sent to you - to apply only to monks, and not to the laity! Judge other things by this. Thus, when it is said that “a narrow gate and a strait path lead into the belly” (Matthew 7:13), it is made clear that they are narrow and straitened not for monks alone, but for everyone in general who cares about entering into the belly, and that the following. широко живущим не будет там места, монахи ли они или миряне. It is also written that the one who strives will “abstain from all” (1 Cor. 9:25), “that we must put to death the evils that are on earth” (Col. 3:5), “we must seek the things on high, we must philosophize on things above and not on earth” (Col. 3:1–2), “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17) and make sure that “our life is hidden with Christ into God” (Col. 3:3) - and thus, asceticism, mortification of the flesh, renunciation of all earthly things, unceasing prayer, disappearance in God are made obligatory on everyone without exception. But this is all that is said in monastic articles! Now you can hear: who is happy with this? Who doesn’t know about this and who doesn’t talk about it? But that’s not what we’re talking about. After all, it is not the law of God that must be bent under our inclinations, usually called infirmities, but our neck under the yoke of the holy and unchangeable law of God! Don’t you know that the Lord is generous and merciful, just as the yoke does not impose beyond one’s strength, and does not allow any indulgence? So what to talk about this! Aren’t your objectors among those who usually say: “Am I spiritual, am I a monk?” or: “after all, I am a layman,” thereby dissuading myself from strictly fulfilling the Gospel commandments? But do they properly understand what they are saying? By discouraging not only from following certain rules, but also from hearing about them, by their quality as laymen, do they not classify themselves as belonging to the realm of the world that is opposite to the Gospel? And this is scary. The world is an area of ​​destruction. The Lord speaks about Christians in the person of the Apostles: “If we were quicker from the world, the world would love its own; but because you are not of the world, but because you were chosen out of the world, for this reason the world hates you” (John 15:19). Thus, true Christians, although laymen, do not belong to this terrible region of the Christ-hated and God-rejected world and do not consider a single word that came from the mouth of the Lord Jesus Christ and His holy Apostles to be alien to them, they are not alien to any teaching contained in the Holy Orthodox Church, they do not disdain it and do not deviate from it. But enough about that. It is sad that this way of thinking is becoming more and more widespread. This, of course, does not cause any harm to the Truth of God. It will remain unchanged forever; but it is bitter that those who remove themselves from it will perish. They are like those who, with a blow of their fist, want to dull the blade of a sharp sword. Will there be success? No. The sword of God's word is indestructible. And it’s hard for us to resist the pricks. Yes, here’s what else we constantly say: “The Lord, having created man, brought him into paradise and endowed him with everything so that he could enjoy to his fullest. After the fall, although man was expelled from paradise, the ability to enjoy and ways to enjoy were left to him: flowers - the delight of smell, fruits - taste, the starry sky and water - vision, birdsong - hearing; Further, for these reasons, man invented music. And everything in nature speaks of the goodness of the Creator! But there are people who, contrary to His good will, want to constrain everyone and put obstacles in everything. They violate nature and represent God by something other than what He is!” So this is where it went! And I, having written to you last time about the fact that lay people should not abandon the strictures of monasticism if they want to be real Christians, I thought that I had already convinced everyone and resolved all the confusion. What a confusion of concepts here! Why, you have become a dead end, as if the truth is on their side! We would tell them: well, go for a walk, friends! open wide all the gates of joy and pleasure! And rejoice at the feast of life... No one is bothering you and no one is putting any obstacles in your way! Live your life the way you want. They only tell you by the word of the Lord that there are two ways that the sons of men walk - the narrow way and the wide way, and that the first leads to belly, and the last leads to destruction. Wouldn’t you like to read for yourself how it is said about this in the Gospel: “Enter through the narrow gate,” says the Lord, “for you lead through the wide gate and the broad way into destruction, and many are those who enter through it. What a narrow gate and a strait path you bring into the belly, and there are few of them who find it!” (Matthew 7:13–14). If you want to listen, listen, but if you don’t want to, do whatever you want... After all, this is not a human invention, but a commandment of the Lord. And how! “Strive to enter through the strait gate,” says the Lord another time: “For there are many, I tell you, who will seek to enter, but will not be able to” (Luke 13:24). Strive... that is, hurry, as if in a race, arguing with others for this narrow path and narrow gate, achieving them in defiance of others, fighting it off from others: let me in, let me in! as if fearing that these doors would also close... And why this is so is not our business to speculate! So the Lord commanded, that’s all!.. And what kind of Lord?! One who, for our salvation, Himself walked ahead of us along this narrow path and, after all-round suffering, from the Cross gave up His spirit to the Lord, saying to the crucified thief: “Today you will be with me in paradise.” After all, He is our Savior!.. And everyone who wants to be saved must follow in His footsteps... But it is impossible to follow in His footsteps otherwise than with the cross: “Whoever wants to go after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and come after me” (Mark 8:34). And so all those who desired salvation flowed after Him in a narrow and sorrowful way: the apostles, martyrs, saints, saints and all the saved, now inhabiting the city of God, heavenly Jerusalem. Well, what should we do? It is true that it is impossible to be saved otherwise, when among the saved there is not a single one who would reach the place of eternal rest without a narrow path. Isn't it better to submit to this necessity, even though it is not so sweet? It’s worse to suffer forever. Let those who want salvation force themselves somehow, without making excuses. It’s difficult, but what can you do? That’s why such a life is called a feat, as the Apostle says about himself: “we have fought the good fight.” And those who don’t want to, as they want... Just let them know that various constraints are not a human invention, but a commandment of God. It would be possible to add some explanation as to why this or that constraint is necessary... why, for example, fasting, solitude, prayerful work, etc. are needed. But I leave this... Those who follow the path of salvation know how necessary this and other things are, but don’t even tell those who are moving away from it! As for the misinterpretations you prescribed, well, I already wrote to you about this. In heaven, for sure, there were many objects that could give pleasure to a person; but these constituted the external, external embellishment of heavenly life, and not the goal of man. The goal was different: to remain in communion with God through the free fulfillment of God's will. If heaven remained forever the dwelling place of man, then all people would certainly enjoy outwardly, but no one would even think about it or have any concern about it: it would be an inevitable shadow of a life pleasing to God. So you see, even in heaven they would not talk and bother about pleasures; but among us, having lost paradise, they want to make pleasure the main goal of life. After all, if pleasures could legitimately be the lot of fallen humanity, the Lord would not have expelled the fallen ancestors from paradise. And when he expelled him, he showed that a comfortable life does not suit the fallen. After all, the fall changed the whole order! A short period of real life, full of sorrows and troubles, has been added to a person’s life, with the goal of admonishing, correcting and purifying a person, in order to make him worthy to enjoy forever in another, eternal paradise. The true life of a person is beyond the grave or, rather, after the resurrection, and real life is only the threshold of it or preparation for it. The Lord placed various sorrows and external misfortunes into its order, and prescribed various restrictive rules for it, as measures of purification. They whittled the martyrs with iron claws and thus prepared them for heaven. This is an image of a person’s real life, in which everyone prepares for blissful eternity through purifying tightness, as if by planing! From here this is what follows: let a person understand well and apply to his heart the thought of how short the present life is and how much fruit there is from its cramped and narrow life for the future life - endless, and he will not only not shun them, on the contrary, he will ask for them and covet them, as if it were some good. This is what everyone does who properly understands the meaning of real life... From the fact that even after expulsion from paradise some pleasant objects were left behind that can be enjoyed, it does not follow that any constraint is inappropriate in the order of real life. To explain this, I remembered the words of our dear mentor Y. K. Amfitheatrov. It happened to me to walk with him through the grove. I seemed to ask in passing: “Why are there such unevenness between natural objects and aerial phenomena and unpleasant unevenness? Here’s a nice color, but on the side there’s nettle or dope... and the sky is either light or cloudy?” - What an eccentric you are! he answered. These irregularities are a great thing in the economy of God’s providence for our salvation. The merciful God tells you this: the sweat should never be wiped off from your face, exhausted and tired, but I sometimes allow you to taste the joy of life, I allow your eyes to be enlightened, your forehead to be open and a smile to appear on your lips, so that you do not lose hope and do not fall into despair; The earth should only grow thorns and thistles for you, but sometimes I command the earth to give you everything abundantly for pleasure, so that you do not lose confidence that there is still an opportunity to regain lost bliss; There should be only storms with thunder and lightning in the air above your head and around you, but you often see the clear sun with the pleasant coolness of the morning and the delightful silence of the evening, so that you remember that the sky is not completely closed for you, that My arms are extended to you and I am ready to receive you into the heavenly abodes. So this is why certain pleasures in nature are left outside of heaven, and not so that from these grains we can create a cheerful feast for the rest of our lives, or from these fragments we build a church of happiness on earth! But our comforters and pleasure-makers understand it all differently. In their opinion, any constraint and any obstacle to pleasure is violence to human nature and is contrary to the will of God. That it is not contrary to the will of God, I said at the beginning, for the Lord commanded to walk the narrow path, and that in this there is no constraint on human nature, you will understand from the following. When man fell, he not only became inferior to his purpose, but also accepted into himself some principles alien to his nature, as if the seeds of any emanating evil. Therefore, in fallen man it is necessary to distinguish between what is characteristic of his nature and what is unusual for it, although it also exists in man. All restrictive rules and measures prescribed and arranged by the Lord are directed exclusively against these alien evil seeds, in order to suppress them, drown them out, and thereby give freedom to true human nature. Thus, constraint is not a force of nature, but a beneficial aid to it. They are also like an operation to cut off a harmful member or a plaster that draws out harmful matter. Our nature is in captivity. The Lord, through the oppression of those who captivated him, wants to free her, but we shout: don’t touch, don’t oppress! and thus, instead of standing up for ourselves, we slander ourselves. Comforters are pitiful people - lost! It’s not that no consolation is appropriate in life; let us accept everything with thanksgiving from the hand of the Lord; but the fact is that one should not chase after them, much less make them the main goal of life and even less rebel against any embarrassing instruction, and not even know that it is prescribed by the Lord Himself. In the latter, in addition to a lack of understanding of the matter, even God-fighting is visible. This is where it's gone, that's it! And they all think easily. Yes, now nothing yet. What will happen in the next world?! There will be crampedness there and - against the will, crampedness, bitter and joyless, because it is useless! Lord, have mercy and save us! There is so much talk about fasting, how people rebel against it and say: “Why is fasting so strict, when the Lord Himself says that what does not enter into a person defiles, but what comes from the heart, and the Apostle teaches: “Let him who is not poisonous condemn him who eats” (Rom. 14:3), and St. Chrysostom on the day of Holy Easter calls everyone to joy, both those who fasted and those who did not fast?” I think that after what I wrote before, real wisdom no longer bothers you. Poor post! How much reproach, slander, and persecution he endures! But everything, by the grace of God, stands. And how could it be otherwise? The support is strong! The Lord fasted, the Apostles fasted and, moreover, not a little, but as the Apostle Paul says about himself: “in their fasting they are abundant”; and all the saints of God kept a strict fast, so that if it were given to us to survey the abodes of paradise, we would not find a single one there who would shun fasting. That's how it should be. By breaking the fast, paradise is lost; starting a strict fast should be among the means to return the lost paradise. Is our mother, the compassionate Holy Church, our stepmother? Would she impose on us any heavy and unnecessary burden? But it imposes! That's right, it can't be otherwise. Let us submit... And everyone who wants to be saved will submit... Look around. More or less, anyone who becomes concerned about the soul now begins to fast, and the more concerned he is, the more strictly he fasts. Why would this be? Because when you fast, things go more successfully and it is easier to control your soul. Whoever dissuades himself from fasting, surely salvation is not dear to him. Where the womb writes the laws, there God is the womb. To whom God is the belly, he is the enemy of the cross of Christ. Whoever is an enemy of the cross is an enemy of Christ, our Savior and God. This is how you proceed forward: when someone begins to rebel against some ascetic institution of God, begin to ask him, which one does he accept, besides this rejected one? for example, whoever rejects fasting, ask: well, is it necessary to go to church? Is it necessary to keep a prayer rule at home? Do you need to confess, and so on... and you will probably find that he will give up everything. And it will be clear to you that he doesn’t care about fasting, but about any cramped conditions in general... He wants to live widely... Well, let him live! Just be sure to read to him the definition of God’s judgment on the broad path! This is the duty of everyone making this determination! After all, when you ask everything, it turns out that this kind of sage is of a completely different faith. And tell him this; tell me, brother, you have a different God, different laws, different hopes!.. But our God is the Lord Jesus Christ, who fasted, our mother is St. The Church, whose statutes require fasting, are our champions - St. Apostles, shepherds and teachers of the universe, all fasters and legislators of fasting! We can't do it any other way. And you go your own way. Do you think of convincing such people?.. Where are we going! Their forehead is copper and their neck is iron! What will you do with them? Don't think that they have any solid reasons. No. They just have a lot of tenacity. Those misinterpretations that you have heard are probably considered lofty ideas among them. And look what is there? They say: what does not enter into the mouth defiles... Who can argue against this? Do fasting people abstain from food because they are afraid of being defiled by it? God have mercy! Nobody thinks so. And it is the cunning people of the world who weave lies in order to somehow cover themselves up with appearances. Those who break fast defile themselves, not only with food, but by violating God’s commandments, by disobedience and stubbornness. And those who fast and do not keep their hearts pure are not considered pure. Both are needed: physical fasting and mental fasting. This is what they say in the teachings, and this is how it is sung in church. Whoever does not do this is not to blame for the fast! Why refuse fasting under this pretext? Should I ask those who do not want to fast, do they keep their hearts pure? It's incredible! If with fasting and other deeds it is barely possible to control our dear heart, then without fasting there is nothing to say. Remember how one elder met a young monk coming out of a tavern and said to him: “Eh, brother! It’s not a good thing to come here!” He answered him: go! if only the heart was pure... Then the elder said in amazement: “How many years have I lived in the desert and fasted and prayed, and rarely go out anywhere, but I have not yet acquired a pure heart; and you, young man, walking through taverns, managed to acquire a pure heart. Miracle! The same must be said to anyone who refuses to fast! And what it says next: let him who is not poisonous condemn him who is poisonous, and does not lead to anything. After all, this is an instruction! Putting ourselves among those fasting, let us thank you for the advice or reminder. But through this, the one who does not fast is not freed from the obligation to fast and from the responsibility for not fasting. He who condemns someone who does not fast sins, but he who does not fast does not become righteous through this. And let's not judge. Let everyone know as they please. But we must stand up for the rule or law of fasting and not allow freemen to insidiously weave lies. Finally, Chrysostom’s condescension towards those who did not fast means only the kindness of his heart and the desire that on Bright Sunday of Christ everyone would rejoice and not a single one would have a sad face. This is the desire of the holy father, but God knows whether it comes true in practice! Tell the patient: be healthy, be healthy... Will this make him well? There too. Everyone is invited to rejoice, but does everyone truly rejoice? What to do with conscience? Noise and commotion is not joy. Joy comes to the heart, which does not always rejoice with external amusements. Here is St. Chrysostom, assuming that others are troubled by their conscience for not fasting, takes this very anxiety for repentance and penance and allows everyone to enjoy joy and joy... So this part of those who lament about not fasting will actually taste spiritual consolation, or tenderness of the heart, while others will hardly! Yes, so be it; This does not diminish the legality and obligatory nature of fasting for everyone! Save yourself! Make sure you don't get into trouble. You've been busy. It's time to settle down and get into proper rank, otherwise all the trains will split apart. There will be no strength in business. What did you think about the providence of God (movements of murmur), for this you are subject to penance. How can you allow such thoughts? There is simply blasphemy and - right in the eyes of the Lord. It would be a different matter if you didn’t even know the basics; Otherwise, it seems like you’re already sorting things out by warehouses, yet you’re letting such absurdities come into your head! You can't joke about this. Thinking about God is a great thing, for they are all done before His eyes. How can you be frivolous here! Well, what is this - N.N.? I don’t imagine a good mood in her heart. When she brought darkness with her speeches, it means that what was said did not come from a good source. Leave her... or talk to her, never touching the identity of others. What kind of stingy activity is it to weave gossip? Prepare yourself a pin and always carry it with you. As soon as your tongue starts gossiping, prick it mercilessly. Save yourself! Well, it looks like you're completely broke! Either others have dragged you down, or you are breaking yourself. It's time to sit down and settle down. Hurry up to establish order and get settled, and that’s the end of the matter. And then N.N. came to you. She will now begin to gather wanderers and wanderers! Ask her, is there any salvation in sticking to the oncoming and transverse ones? And one more thing: can such a deed be good when it is combined with the concern of others? God will send whoever is needed, but why impose ourselves? You can’t get enough of a real wanderer or wanderer, and you rarely meet one... However, everyone has their own way of mind and heart. Everything just needs to be sacrificed to God. The troubles that now lie ahead of you are even more significant. There is nothing independent here. You just need to ensure that everything goes in a legal order: do not use tricks or backdoors. The Lord will arrange it, so be it; will not work, be it His holy will. What a progressive you are! She is sure that she acts according to the principles of Christianity. Let her understand that according to Christian progress, progress is a completely different matter than what she thinks. Progress in the spirit of the world is a dream. It is certain that every garden, unless the Heavenly Father plants it, will be uprooted, and that he who is not in Christ withers like a branch and is thrown into the fire. Lord, have mercy on us! How many false ghosts that carry us away, instead of the truth... How many toilers and toilers are busy pounding water! May God's will be done over them! May God bless us all to walk the path of life in peace and mutual consolation, edifying each other and not destroying each other. What are you all making excuses for? Your letter is all about that. It’s true, all the fights and quarrels fell to your share. Guilty! Another thing is that it should be so. You've probably recovered by now. Well, has your soul calmed down? It's time to calm down a little. Help you, Lord! How long does it take to ossify? It's bad to stand in the wind. Take cover a little. You can go a day or two and not see anyone at all, just to sit down. In the meantime, read, pray, and think. So the world will fall like rain on a fleece. God has sent you a new friend. His feelings are worthy of respect. But his conclusion that if some misfortune or grief happens to N.N., who is filled with extraordinary kindness, he will then doubt the providence of God, is not true, for nowhere did God say that the whole reward of virtue is here on earth. This would be degrading to virtue itself. God sometimes allows untruth here in order to elevate the sufferer in the next century. Have you started reading anything? It's time. Start with Macarius the Great and move on to Isaac the Syrian or someone else. And it shouldn’t remain like this. You will suffocate, because without reading it is stuffy and your soul is starving. But, I think, now you’re probably doing it in private. I wish you peace. I am glad that you are starting to enter your cell. Hurry up. Yes, look, do not indulge in self-important daydreaming and do not drive away thoughts of self-deprecation. These are the most decent clothes for you. Beat your soul more often, so that it does not become exalted by anything, for there is nothing. Just stop and calculate what has been done and what good comes out of what has been done, or is it all tinsel? Lord, have mercy! Still, one thing: one must ever stand before the court, where everything will be calculated, both word, and deed, and look, and thought. If you do this as you should, you will encounter many impulses to weeping and contrition, and not to conceit. How meaningfully a person is surrounded by such an environment that elevates him to heaven and brings him down to hell! And this is everyone! Therefore, you need to keep your ears sharp. Stay alert at all times! N. N. talks to you with confidence. Teach him. No big tricks needed. Tell him the truth simply, as you hold it in your heart. If he starts to speculate, tell him to go to the philosophers for some speculation. In matters of faith and salvation, it is not philosophy that is required, but simple, humble acceptance of what is taught. Let everything be silently accepted. You have to trample your mind under your feet, just like in the picture Michael the Archangel tramples Satan. Michael the Archangel, this is a mind submissive to the truth of God, and Satan is an outrageous, sophisticated mind, from which all revolutions both in families and in the Church... Let him not think that in the area of ​​faith there is no philosophy... No, the totality of the truths of faith is the most harmonious, sublime, comforting and inspiring philosophy, a real system, which no other system of philosophy represents. But one cannot suddenly rise to the contemplation of this system. One must accept truth after truth purely, as taught, without superstition, and put them in the heart... When all the truths are collected, then the consciousness, refined by prayer, will see their structure and will enjoy them. This wisdom is hidden from the ages! Some kind of nonsense, for example, even Hegel’s, they listen with patience to the end, although they understand nothing about them. Let him do the same in relation to the truths of God. The difference will be that here every truth is understandable, but in the end a great light will shine in the soul, which has no like. And there, both in the continuation and at the end, everything is very desolate darkness. You've scattered again! Slow down; look, the enemy’s tricks are cunning... Note, his first step or blow is to assign oneself the rights to benefits. When this happens, you need to leave everything and everyone behind and, in solitude, look around and take up your rank. With everyday distractions, how long does it take to become completely lost? And it’s not noticeable how you can dissipate and cool down. Then grab it, but it will be difficult to turn it back. You see what has gone wrong with you: empty readings and empty conversations... two very evil things! See what your conscience reads to you after such readings - and that’s it. Once it is allowed, and enough is enough, it must be stopped. Give up and protect yourself with the fear of God. You can't joke with your heart, it's stupid. And you won’t see how it will crook. Pray! The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth. He will do the will of those who fear Him, and I will hear their prayer and save them... Who knows, maybe death is near. You must be ready to appear before the Lord. I’m tired of living, I wish I could retire soon, you write. True, life is hard and difficult. What about peace? Will he? We must first work... Without work, what peace? Let us labor in the helicity of God. Even for an hour, the Lord of the House will pay for everything in the evening. There is more mercy. Pay attention to yourself. The enemy has many intrigues and many detours... He is very clever, he knows which roads to take. Your anger at N.N. is bad means progress! After all, even without a heart you can say a thing. Judging directly, there is no thing in the world for which one should be angry. What is more valuable than the soul and its peace? And anger takes away this peace. Here a person can be his own accuser. And he himself still inflates, increasing the untruths of the other in the soul. It’s all because there is no attention to yourself: it will break through. Deep in the heart lies the assumption of the right to judge and punish the sins of others, instead of oneself. That's all... If a person saw himself as a sinner, with a feeling of all the consequences of sin, he would not become angry. It’s good that you moved from anger to thinking about death. This is the case. And do not leave your thoughts from the grave. Stand there and beg the Lord for mercy. I undertake to quickly say something about N. N. It is amazing how he boasts of purified faith, having no faith, but only philosophizing. And all such people take upon themselves the high tone of sanity, suffering in reality from apostasy from the model of sound words shown to us by the holy Apostles. I don’t think that you need to write a refutation of all the thoughts expressed before you. You know their lies; through experience you have learned the salvation of the entire institution in the Church of God, in all its details, down to the incense of the censer and the simple offering to the church of God. If all this is fiction, as they say, then it is a saving fiction. How we are surrounded by a fence and covered with armor by our churchliness. These foolish gentlemen want to make us an open target for the enemy's arrows. Imagine that someone is shooting arrows at you. You are protected by some kind of shield. N. N. comes up and says: come on, this is the work of human hands. Go away! Wise! There is no time to be clever here when the enemy is before your eyes and you get help against him from the fact that you ask fussy questions. If there were no experienced knowledge of the salvific nature of everything that we contain, speculation would still have meaning; But since there is such an inquiry, then why speculate? You can say to everyone: “Come and see.” There was a belief: “Can anything good come from Nazareth?” and everyone thought so, and Nathanael. But the case showed otherwise. So our clever people adhere to the belief that there is nothing good in the Church of God, or in what they call the self-made hierarchy. Did at least one of them take it upon himself to test it with action? If they had tested it, they would have stopped being so crazy. But they don’t want to try it, because it requires work and a change in life. Those questions that you have heard are only the top. Deeper lies a whole system of delusions, the most dangerous and disastrous for humans and humanity. Here the dispute consists of the self-will of the mind with the indisputable power of God over minds, expressed by the determining way of thinking in the confession of faith. Our smart people don’t want to listen to anyone but their own minds. But since there is a consciousness that it is impossible not to listen to God’s commands, they repeat: “We are ready to listen to God, but we will never listen to people. The commandments of God are contained in the Word of God.” So they have a saying: listen only to the words of God, that is, what is written, and beyond that - nothing. But how do they listen to this word? The way they understand. How do they understand? The way they want to understand it according to their own understanding. And it turned out that in this case they respect only their own mind and its arbitrary considerations. For them, the Word of God is only an excuse, a cover for self-will... and the deed is unbridled cleverness. Look what similar people produced in Germany? From what? Because they don’t want to submit to anyone except the Gospel. But they do not want to understand the Gospel otherwise than as they find it similar for their own reasons. What is the end of this? Their end is Ostrich... otherwise, the rejection of Christianity is complete, and therefore destruction, for without Christ the Savior there is no salvation. Germany justified all this with deeds. In the holy Church of God such vacillation and hesitation of thoughts and cleverness is impossible. Here the norm of intellectualism in St. is determined once and for all. Symbol, still devoted from the Apostles and maintained by the Holy Orthodox Church. We have this law: listen to what everyone says, from St. Apostles before us throughout the entire space of Christ's true Church, and submit to that. Do you see how strong it is? The entire host of those saved and being saved contains this. What does it mean for those who speak contrary to the truth? Each of us is strong, just as the entire Church of God is strong. And thanks be to the Lord! From here you can already guess how meaningless the phrase is: self-made hierarchy. The question is, which one? Certainly not real. For the real one, we, take what was before, and consider ourselves obligated to preserve everything that we have accepted. If our predecessors had been alive, they would have also answered this question, and so on... But as for us, the Russians, we didn’t invent anything. We act as it is written in the charter, and the charter was taken from the Greeks. Therefore, if there was home-made work that they are talking about, then it should be attributed to the 9th century. Go further and ask the Greeks: where did you get such church orders from? There is only one answer: also from predecessors. Look at the councils: how did they decide their affairs? – subsequently St. to the fathers who preceded them... And this, starting from the seventh council and going back to the first, everyone says: “following the holy fathers,” that is, not a single council invented anything, but defined it as a law and promulgated, as a law, what was always contained by everyone. It must be put down because the Greek hierarchy of the time of the councils did not make anything on their own, but only accepted and preserved... Ascend further from the first cathedral to the Apostles. Here the Church has been persecuted and persecuted with bitterness for two centuries. Was there time for DIY here? Where here! At least keep what was entrusted to you. So, having figured everything out in a calm spirit, we must assume that neither ours nor the Greek hierarchy did anything on their own. At all times, the present hierarchs accepted what was handed down and treasured it like the apple of their eye, fearing to change even the slightest thing in what was commanded. All hierarchs are obedient slaves of the legalized order. Thus, having traced the entire chain of events, you will see more clearly that the source of all church institutions is in St. The Apostles... After all, they did not write everything they taught and started in the Church. Much, very much remained not written down, but put into practice. This has been preserved in practice and has come down to us. Therefore, whoever boasts of his obedience to the Apostles must accept the entire contents of the Holy Scripture. Church. But enough. I wrote something to you, knowing that little was enough for you... You were embarrassed! You can't help but be embarrassed. After all, what hellish fumes... stench and dross... Either way, take heart. There is more in us than there is in the world. Last time I wrote to you that Mr. For wise men, it’s not about those particulars that they point out, but something more: about the freedom of the mind from any connection with authority, even Divine, for they all interpret Scripture in their own way. That's not enough. They also seek freedom from any obligation to act according to the spirit and dispensation of faith and from the labor of behaving as Orthodox. Look: our entire faith has been put into practice both by dogmas and commandments; for example, you put the sign of the cross on yourself with the words: in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit; - here the sacrament of the Most Holy Trinity and the sacrament of redemption and incarnation are confessed... You say: - here is the dogma about the fall, about the need to purify oneself through confession and communion of the Holy Mysteries. That's all... And these gentlemen want to be saved, but in such a way that there is no need to cross their foreheads. So they wobble, shouting that all the practice of the Church is a human creation, an excrescence, a routine. But we want to believe purely!.. So they believe so purely that they are naked. Why would this happen? Because they don’t want to give the Lord not a minute of time or even the slightest amount of effort. Go there - get up for matins, go to church, fast, fast. They want to live for their own pleasure, considering themselves to be pleasing to God internally, without any turning of the heart to God. For, since this is internal, then there is also external. Do you see where they are aiming?.. To establish on earth a kingdom of actors who think of serving God and are alienated from Him in heart. The fact that they say that they strictly adhere to the Gospel and the Apostles is an empty excuse... Have you read it? - Hardly! For example, the fact that one must go to church, in their opinion, is the homework of the hierarchs... But in our opinion, it is the commandment of the Apostle, who commanded “not to give up meeting together” (Heb. 10:25). In their opinion, church prayers are homemade, but in fact they are also a commandment of the Apostle, who says: “Be filled with the Spirit, speaking to yourself in psalms and songs and spiritual songs” (Eph. 5:19), for what do all our services consist of, if not psalms and songs? Didn’t the Apostles teach about communion with saints? Look what it says: “Come now to Mount Zion, and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and the multitude of angels, the triumph, and the church of the firstborn in heaven, who are written, and God the Judge of all, and those perfect in the righteous spirit” (Heb. 12:22). The believer is in living communication with the entire invisible world. How is this communication expressed? In addition to many things, this communication consisted of prayer on earth. The apostles asked to pray for themselves and commanded everyone to pray for each other. The same must be observed in relation to the departed Orthodox and in general to the entire invisible world, with which the union is just as valid as with the visible. So we ask the saints of God to pray for us... and for those for whom we are not sure that they are strong with God, we pray for them ourselves... In all this, as you can see, we act not only in the spirit, but also in the letter of the Apostolic teaching, and not to please the self-made ideas of the hierarchs. Is it so? Understand this and other things. You see now that these gentlemen with purified faith, boasting that they adhere to the Apostles, retreat from the Apostles and purify their faith too zealously - to no avail, as they say. Write if anything remains in you from N.N.’s speeches: every trace of them must be expelled. Look, he aches and pains! Tell him that this is due to dissatisfaction of the heart and spirit. And there is only one satisfaction for them - in the Lord, Who is everything to us. Until he believes with all his heart and wholeheartedly surrenders to the form of teaching acceptable to the Church, he will have no peace. The soul is hungry, asks for nourishing faith, and he hits it in the head with the hammer of superstition. Let him not think that the mood of his mind is co-questioning, there is perfection, and he is high that he has reached these questions. It's just fun. Ask him to think about himself, but not just something, but more seriously. After all, there is death and judgment... At the trial the Lord will judge, but not according to Molokan wisdom, but according to the church charter. Now we are wide... Let him put himself before the face of the indefatigable Judge and decide... can he get away with questions there? He cannot say: I did not know; for he saw everything done before his eyes. What a pity for him!.. Does he know that spiritually, for his way of thinking, he is no longer a member of the Church and has cut himself off from it, although publicly she does not cut him off, expecting his correction. May the Lord enlighten him! And may he protect you from all hesitations on the occasion of such meetings. What to do? You live in the world. Be patient. Or maybe it will benefit both you and him. Peace be with you! I want to explain to you a little with what dispositions and feelings we should be drawn to the church of God. You know that the all-merciful Lord especially deigns to be present in churches consecrated by the prayerful invocation of His grace... Therefore, such churches are rightly called the tabernacle of God with men, the place of God’s special dwelling among people, as He Himself certifies: “I will dwell”, He says, “in them I will also be like God, and they will be my people” (Lev. 26:12; 2 Cor. 6:16). In ancient Israel this was evidenced in a way visible to everyone. A cloud overshadowed the tabernacle and the word came from the cloud. Then, during the entire time of the Israelites' wanderings in the desert, the pillar of cloud over the tabernacle, rising and stopping, was their leader in their procession to the promised Canaan. No sensual cloud is visible above Christian churches, but nevertheless, the gracious overshadowing of God is truly inherent in them. These churches are not erected or moved like the tabernacle; but nevertheless they are true signposts of the way for those marching to heavenly Canaan. This last property of our churches brings to mind the structure of the itinerary procession of the Israelites and suggests that, indeed, we must surround our churches with some corresponding feelings and dispositions, so that they can be guides for us on our path of life to where God has eternally determined for us to dwell. When the tabernacle was built and consecrated, God commanded Moses from that time to arrange the procession so that three tribes of Israel walked in front of the tabernacle, three behind, three on the right and three on the left, and in the middle the tabernacle itself moved, carried by the tribe of Levi. Remembering this structure and believing that our churches are also leaders and we go to the kingdom of heaven around them, you are involuntarily compelled to look for how this in our feelings and dispositions in relation to the church could correspond to those three - in front, three behind and three on the sides. This is how I imagine it: Three ahead, to the east. The highest spiritual feelings must be placed here. Which one would it be? I believe: a) faith that the Lord is truly present in the church with His special grace-filled presence, that the church is the house of God, where His eye is directed and where His heart dwells; b) the hope that the Lord, who dwells in the church, like a loving father, clearly listens to all the requests sent to Him and is ready to fulfill everything if our eternal good requires it; c) love for the church, for which it is sweet to dwell in it, as in the house of one’s own father, for which the spirit rests peacefully in it, as a child rests in the bosom of its mother. These are the main, source, hidden dispositions in relation to the church of God, serving as instigators and parents of others. They mature in spirit and are turned, one might say, face to face to God himself - this mental east. On the opposite back side, to the west, you need to place something corporeal, but controlled by the spirit. Let us place here the labors the body undertakes concerning the house of God, like a house of prayer. They can also be subsumed under three, which are: a) the labor of unlaxly going to church, to all services, at the first call, without excuses, without self-pity, without reviving imaginary obstacles, according to the following rule: as soon as you heard the bell for worship, drop everything and hurry to the church; b) the work of patiently staying in church from the beginning of the service to the end, in one’s always one place, without moving, without carelessly loosening one’s limbs, with some tension that gives vigor; c) the work of reverent standing - quietly, with bows, with eyes turned to the valley or mountain, at icons or sacred rites, with ears fixed on what is being sung and read, with a silent tongue, without looking around, wandering the eyes and without talking. All such actions express bodily labor in prayer, supported by the inner spirit of prayer and supporting it back. Now, what would you put on the right and on the left on this cross line? I think this is where mental labors in prayer should be placed. Namely: On the right side there will be three positive deeds. This is: a) standing with the mind in the heart in the presence of God, accompanied by sobering fear, imparting vigor and refreshing our inner church, like fresh morning air; b) an in-depth understanding of the power and meaning of everything understood, read and acted upon, with a heart open to accept the feelings and dispositions that are born from it, with a readiness to forever retain them in oneself and act on them, as according to the inspirations of God; c) a peaceful disposition of a benevolent spirit towards all people, not excluding the enemies themselves, according to the commandment of the Lord, that if you remember in church that your brother has something against you, leave your gift at the altar and go and make peace with your brother. On the left side there will be three negative cases. Namely: a) not plundering thoughts, or not allowing the mind to wander to different places and objects when standing in the church, and returning it back to its work every time it voluntarily indulges in dreams; b) not burdening the heart with everyday worries, mercilessly driving the devotee further and further and leaving him no free time to occupy himself with heaven; c) non-attachment to anything earthly, or freedom from all attachments that drag you down and prevent the mind from turning to grief. Look: a prayer cross has emerged, spiritually settling in our nature when we go to churches and pray as we should. Under the shadow of this cross or under the influence of the feelings and dispositions that form it, prayer itself acts, both as prayer with bows, and as a peaceful aspiration of feelings towards God, and as a hidden presence before God, or immersion in God in spirit. Just as the tabernacle, located among the 12 tribes, was fenced by them and together gave them structure, so prayer, in all its forms, is fenced by the aforementioned dispositions and prayerful works and, in turn, itself revives and organizes them. That's it for you! Whoever sets himself up in this way in relation to the church, in this very mood, will find the right guidance and way to achieve the heavenly fatherland (for this is where our speech began). This one, one might say, is already floating towards him. Do you notice how the shown feelings and prayer deeds, being arranged in the appropriate order, represent a soaring bird?.. Write and you will see that it is so. Place where the head should be, the actions of the spirit in prayer, i.e., faith that the Lord is in the church, hope that he will hear the one praying, and love for the church as for the father’s house. Where the right wing should be, write there the positive activities of the soul in prayer, namely: standing in the presence of God, paying attention to everything in the church, with a heart open to accept God’s suggestions, and peace with everyone. In the place of the left wing, put what the soul should not do during prayer, namely: undistractedness, or sobriety, carelessness and impartiality. After this, the tail will be left with bodily labor in prayer: the labor of going to church, the labor of standing in it, and the labor of producing prayer with the body. And the body of this bird will be made up of prayer itself in all its forms. Here's a prayer bird for you! Do not think that this is a stretch or an arbitrary invention. Only an image has been invented, but the work of prayer is such in essence. Just as a bird, inhaling and exhaling air, setting its wings, head and other parts in motion, flies successfully, or only flies when it does all of this: so the ascent to God in prayer is not possible otherwise than when all the aforementioned deeds and dispositions are present in us. Without something, the work of prayer will be difficult or even stop. Everyone who works in prayer knows this from experience, but he who does not pray – what is there to interpret! It was desirable for you to have sermons heard by you. I enclose them herewith at your complete disposal: this is a gift for you on the day of your Angel. They were put together quickly, I wish I could have said even more. There is not enough time... What is missing according to your judgment, figure it out yourself: you cannot say everything from the church pulpit. And it must be said that the needs of those listening are varied. One needs reasoning, another needs a pictorial depiction of an object - to each his own, but the goal of the speaker and those listening is the same - be imbued with it and read, being inspired to carry out what you read. A. Seven words in the weeks preparing for Lent, and for the first week of Lent On the Sunday of the Publican and the Pharisee (What makes up complete righteousness, or all-encompassing virtue) “Open the doors of repentance, O Life-Giver!” - the Holy Church puts such a tender prayer song into our mouths, beginning to prepare us for repentance. There are still three weeks before Lent, and perhaps no one is thinking about it; but from afar she shows us its doors and wants to predispose us to enter it. Although reluctantly, we must face the time of fasting; but she wants us to meet and spend this time as it should. And so, on this day, next Sunday and beyond, she instills in us one after another edifying rules in two parables and two striking incidents, one of which began the current history of mankind, and the other will end. Let us learn and heed the lessons of our mother! Now the parable of the publican and the Pharisee tells each of us: “Do not rely on your own righteousness, like the Pharisee, but place all the hope of your salvation in the infinite mercy of God, crying out like the publican: “God, be merciful to me a sinner.” For the Pharisee, it seems, was of good conduct, but was not justified before God.” It is incomprehensible to us how it is that the creation of good deeds or righteousness is obligatory for us, as a necessary condition for salvation, and yet we cannot base our hope on them; but, no matter how many righteous deeds we have, we must consider all of them insufficient and resort to other means to make up for them. This is incomprehensible to us; but that's how it is. A Christian in the womb of his heart must carry a deep conviction of his lewdness, despite all his righteousness, or despite all the abundance of good deeds, about which, however, he must be vigilantly zealous. This is how everyone who was saved was saved and left us with their example indicating the possibility of such feelings and an incentive to kindle them in themselves. Look at the prayers of repentance, which are the outpouring of the souls of the saints of God, glorified by the Church. How they condemn themselves before the Lord!.. And yet everyone around them considered them pure and blameless before God!.. Do you think there was insincerity here? No! It was a sincere cry of the soul to God! And, therefore, it is possible, deep down in the soul, to recognize oneself as indecent, despite all the visible purity of the soul, or the correctness and honesty of behavior. And how could it be otherwise? Keep in mind that God requires from us complete righteousness or all-encompassing virtue, and that only such righteousness and such virtue can be the basis of our salvation and nourish us with trustworthiness. Look what this requires! Complete righteousness, or all-encompassing virtue, is composed of the following three parts. First. Of good deeds, apparently performed for everyone by the body, in their own time and place. This is what it is: if anyone asks for alms, give it to him. Whoever caused offense, forgive him. The enemy has come, feed (drink) him. Sit down at the table, eat food according to the rules and abstain. It is time to pray, pray reverently and as commanded... You go to a position, work hard and so on and so forth. Every minute and every place has its own good deeds, which everyone who enters into them must certainly perform. In this regard, a person’s entire life should be a continuous chain of good deeds, from the moment he comes to consciousness in this world until the moment he leaves it... Like those who embroider pictures with beads, row after row they attach beads to their places, and it is these, and not other beads, to this or that place; and only then, as they observe all this, do not confuse the beads and do not allow breaks and omissions, the picture receives a proper appearance and its name: so in relation to us, the Lord will only consider someone virtuous when he develops the whole picture of his life in such a way that he does not miss a single place and a single moment of time without doing something obligatory for him then. Now stand here, leaning on your righteousness, and say: do you live in such a way that you always do good and never omit the deeds that are obligatory for you, and do not allow the deeds to be half-good or even completely unkind. If so, lean on your righteousness; and if not, look for another support for your salvation! Second. The other part, which is part of complete righteousness, consists of good feelings and dispositions hidden under apparently performed deeds. These are love, peace, patience, meekness, mercy, self-control, humility, reverence, detachment from everything, and so on and so forth. Good deeds, apparently performed in order to be truly good and serve for salvation, must certainly be an expression of some of the internal good feelings; so if at their core there is no good feeling with which they should be inspired, then they are worthless and ungodly. So, for example, a reverent turn of mind and heart towards God is a good, godly inner mood. When it is in the soul, it demands urgently and correspondingly things that happen, namely: prayer at home, long bows, going to the church of God for services, visiting holy places, honoring icons, lighting lamps and incense, and so on. There is a similar sum of visible actions for the expression of each inner feeling; for example, to express mercy there are seven acts of spiritual and seven acts of physical mercy. But we must always remember that the latter, that is, visible deeds, only have value when they serve as an expression of the former, that is, internal feelings. Thus, all visible deeds of piety: bowing, praying, going to church, etc., will only be truly good deeds when they serve as an expression of inner piety, or a reverent attitude towards God of our mind and heart, and without this latter they are nothing. The same must be said about all works of mercy, that they are only truly good when they serve as an expression of sincere brotherly love for all for the glory of God, and not some kind of adaptation to others, a desire to show off, or, as is often said now, a desire to reveal humanity; This is paganism in Christian clothing. The same must be said about all other external affairs - that their true value is determined by the internal disposition... For otherwise, you can, for example, be in the church with your body, but in a fornication with your soul, condescendingly apologizing with your tongue, condemning in your heart, showing respect with the position of your body, but harboring contempt inside, with your eyes not looking at faces, but in your soul inflamed with lust, and so on and so forth. Outwardly, all these deeds are good, but their value before God is destroyed by the feelings that are nourished when they are performed in the soul. And, therefore, one can base one’s salvation on righteousness only when one can be sure that all our feelings and dispositions are correct and pleasing to God - and not just for an hour or two, but throughout our entire lives and continuously. So, come here if you want to base your salvation on your good behavior and say: did any wrong feelings slip under your visible good deeds, desecrating them... If they didn’t slip through (but who can say this?), then rest in your righteousness; and if it slipped, as everyone should recognize, then humble yourself and look for another basis for your trust in salvation. Third. The third part of complete righteousness is a zeal strong as death for the glory of God, inspired by fiery love for God and inspiring all the good feelings of the heart and all visible good deeds. When there are good dispositions in the heart, one might, it seems, be able to calm down about one’s fate. But take this into account, brethren. We were created by God, created in the image and likeness of God, created so that we would glorify the name of God in the universe, or so that we would completely devote ourselves to God... And yet, this is what can happen! Some people are compassionate and show their love of compassion through their actions, but they do not even have a thought about God despite all the deeds and feelings of those who are compassionate. Such kindness will not be remembered before God, for it was not accepted from Him as a commandment, and is not dedicated to Him as service and sacrifice. Others are meek and without anger and demonstrate this disposition by deeds, not allowing themselves to be carried away by feelings of discord and revenge; but at the same time he follows some kind of instinctive disposition towards compliance, formed by the consciousness of powerlessness and timidity, and not the commandment of the Lord, Who says: “Forgive me! Vengeance is mine - I will repay!” (Rom.12:19). This kind of meekness has no price before God. Another is abstinent, and extremely abstinent: he sleeps little, hardly eats or drinks, they rarely see him outside, he is always at home and at work; but he does not dedicate his labors to God, but either to self-interest or to empty human glory. The Lord does not recognize such abstinence and hard work as worthy of reward. Same with everything else! It is not enough to have good feelings and dispositions (which can be natural - innate), they must also be headed by one fundamental disposition - zeal for the glory of God, be imbued with it and serve as its expression. If this does not exist, or does not exist in the proper degree and measure, all our kindness will be counted as nothing in the face of the Lord, Who will one day say: “Get away from Me, we do not know you!” (Luke 13:27). We do not know you because throughout your life you did not let Me know about you by dedicating your good feelings and deeds to Me! So, come, you who hope for salvation from righteousness, and tell me, has there always been zeal for the glory of God in you to the proper extent, and has it always alone inspired your good feelings and deeds? If so (and who can say this?), then rest in your righteousness, and if not, look for another way to justify yourself before God and another basis for your salvation! So, can anyone who wants to base the hope of his salvation on righteousness, only let him do so that this righteousness is perfect, complete and comprehensive, that is, so that his whole life is an unbroken chain of good deeds, without interruption or omission, so that under these deeds there are always good feelings and dispositions hidden, of which they should only be visible expressions, and so that all these feelings and dispositions are inspired by one zeal for the glory of God or were a sacrifice to God... Therefore, whoever has all this, come, stand boldly before the face of the Lord and tell Him, if you dare and if your conscience allows it: “I am not like other men” (Luke 18:11). And if there is something missing, be silent and do not dare to raise your face to heaven and open your lips, crying from the depths of your soul in a publican’s voice: “God, be merciful to me a sinner” (Luke 18:13). Do not look at the fact that there are any good deeds and good feelings and that sometimes you feel a fit of hot zeal for God. God does not require something, but everything, the fullness of righteousness and goodness; and when any parts of it are lacking in a person, it rejects the whole person as indecent. Will you take clothes from a tailor when everything is there and well made, but the skirts or sleeves are missing? Or, when the carpenter brings you a table, cleanly finished, only without a leg or some other part, will you tell him: “Okay, leave it”? Likewise, in relation to us, God cannot recognize someone as righteous if he lacks any parts of righteousness. But if no one can boast that he has done all good deeds unfailingly, and had all good feelings, and has always been inspired with all his might by the zeal of God, then it is better not to think of basing his salvation on righteousness, so that at the right hour he will not be deceived in this hope; Let him better forget about this righteousness and, no matter how much good he does, let him keep in his heart the feeling of his indecency before God and look for other ways to justify himself, the example of which is the publican! Come, fall down and cry before the Lord, who created us, with faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, with His priceless Blood shed on the Cross, washing away all our sins and making up for all our shortcomings with His boundless holiness. Be jealous of virtue, do not let your eyes sleep, so as not to miss an opportunity for good, not to allow unkind feelings and not to weaken in jealousy; but place all hope of salvation in the Lord, “Who from God has given us righteousness, and sanctification, and deliverance” (1 Cor. 1:30). Amen. On the week of the Prodigal Son (Repentance is the straight and unlost path of salvation, not righteousness) Last Sunday, through the word of the Gospel parable, the Holy Church inspired us not to rely on our righteousness. And we saw that there was no possibility of somehow basing the hope of our salvation on it. For where can we live in such a way that our whole life represents a continuous chain of good deeds, and, moreover, in such a way that under these good deeds there are always good feelings and dispositions of the heart, and then - all these feelings and dispositions with all deeds are inspired by one zeal for the glory of God? Where can we live like this? Meanwhile, all this and - all this only in totality - constitutes complete righteousness, so that if something is missing, that righteousness is no longer righteousness and does not have the power to open us the entrance to the Kingdom of Heaven. But, on the other hand, only the righteous, pure and holy can inherit the Kingdom of God, because nothing unclean will enter it. So what should we do? How can you make your unrighteous life righteous? How can you justify your lies? Where should we put our sins and how can we whiten the impurities and defilements of our soul? For if, in the absence of righteousness, we still do not seek this and do what follows therefore, there is no hope of salvation for us! We are dead! The God of truth has no concessions and no regard for his face: either be right, or seek a false justification in the face of the Righteous and impartial Judge. Alas! It's too close for both of us! And every soul seeking salvation inevitably passes through this tightness! Not seeing the truth in herself, she is struck by the feeling of God’s wrath and is ready to fall into despair. But, thanks be to the Lord, she hears a comforting voice to the thief from the Cross: “Today you will be with Me in heaven!” (Luke 23:43), and she comes to life with trust... Ah, brothers! If there were no Cross, there would never be any joy in any soul: there would be only sorrow and distress both in this life and in the Future. Have you, brethren, heard with your heart this call from the Lord: “Come to Me, you who labor in feelings of hopelessness and are burdened with sins, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28): I will take you under My roof, I will pacify you, lighten you and fill your soul with trust! Come, all you who seek salvation! Come, let us worship and fall before Christ, crying out to Him from the depths of our souls: “Save us, Son of God, save us! Don’t we know another Savior to You!” So, here is the straight and unforgettable (reliable) way of salvation, and not righteousness! Therefore, the New Testament begins like this: “repent and believe in the Gospel” (Mark 1:15). “Repent”: recognize yourself as sinners, unrequited before God and cry about it in the sorrow of your soul; “believe the gospel”; believe that the Lord nailed all our sins on the Cross and tore away their handwriting, and that every sinner who believes in Him receives forgiveness and is declared right in the face of the truth of God. Currents of tears of repentance and heartfelt contrition for sins, dissolved and softened by faith in the Lord’s death on the cross, are the basis of our justification and, therefore, our salvation. That is why John the Baptist, preparing the people to meet the Lord, said: “repent...” (Matthew 3:2). That is why the Lord Himself began His preaching with the same word: “repent” (Mark 1:15) - and then, sending the Apostles to preach while still with Him, commanded them to say everywhere: “repent” (Mark 6:12). That is why the Holy Church, teaching us to delight in salvation during the approaching Lent, puts this song in the mouth of each of us: “Open the doors of repentance, O Life-Giver!” She has already offered us the parable of the publican and the Pharisee, in order to teach that salvation lies in the publican’s beating with a cry of repentance: “God, be merciful to me a sinner,” and not in self-justifying conceit: “I am not like others... I give You praise..." and so on; and now he offers the parable of the prodigal son to show that the Heavenly Father is more kind to that son who, turning to Him after a sin, says: “Your son is not worthy to be called...” (Luke 15:19) than the one who, thinking that he never violates His will, says: “I have transgressed none of Your commandments...” (Luke 15:29). Come, let us cry before the Lord who created us, the righteous Lord, but ready to have mercy on us for the sake of our crushing tears. Who would not have thought, judging by the examples of the publican and the prodigal son, that tears of repentance are needed only by those who have become entangled in the passion of dishonor and great sins, and not by those who have already stopped sinning and live regularly! No no! Everyone needs tears of repentance, and without them there is no salvation for anyone in the world; Moreover, continuous tears are needed, and not so much that you cried once, confessed and that’s enough... They are the same in life as a field or background in flowery matter. Just as this monochromatic field serves as the basis of flowers and fills the empty spaces between them, so tears of repentance serve as the basis of righteousness and make up for the shortcomings of righteous deeds in our lives. So, no excuses! It's okay to cry and cry! To make it clearer for you what tears are and how one should cry, I will give you several cases regarding this from the lives of the saints. One holy man, it seems Ephraim the Syrian, was walking with his disciples to a city or village and, passing by a cemetery, he saw a widow shedding bitter tears over a grave; and no matter how much her relatives who surrounded her consoled her, she did not want to listen to anyone. She seemed to have forgotten everything, saw and heard nothing; only grief consumed her heart and soul. Having passed it, the elder, turning to his disciples, said to them: “As this widow is killed on this grave, so we need to kill ourselves by crying for our soul, which we have killed with our sins and buried in a land alien to it, the world and the lusts of the flesh.” Having said this, the elder burst into tears and sobbed all the way until they came to the place where they had to hide their tears. And there is also a legend about one old man who, having left the world, retired to deserted places, but did not build a cell for himself, but moved from place to place like a migratory bird. Whether anyone saw him eating food is unknown; but no one has ever seen him without tears, sobs and lamentations. If it happened that he, like a desert dove, approached a city or village, he did not go inside, but sat outside, on some stone, and, bowing his head to the Persians, cried out with tears: “Oh! ABOUT! ABOUT! Alas! Oh, woe! Oh, trouble! Will something happen? Will something happen? It happened that the inhabitants of that place came out to him and, out of compassion, began to console him, but this further aggravated his grief and multiplied his crying and tears. They offered him food, clothing, and money - nothing consoled him, nothing occupied him, and there were tears for his bread day and night. Sometimes they addressed him with a speech, saying: “Why are you crying and what misfortune has befallen you? Tell us; Perhaps, according to our strength, we will help you and ease your bitter fate.” But the elder began to cry even more from these words, covering his face with the same howl and scream and not having the strength to utter a single articulate word. And only after much pestering, through tears and sobs, would he sometimes say: “I don’t know if you will help me, but here’s my problem: my master entrusted me with great wealth, and I squandered it all on balls, theaters, festivities, feasts and a luxurious unclean life with harlots. Now my master is looking for me and, having found me, he will bring me to trial and a shameful execution. And I don’t know what to do!.. Will something happen?.. Will something happen?” - and again indulged in crying, sobbing and screaming. Do you understand what he was crying about? He cried about his sins and feared the judgment of the Lord of all - God! Let’s cry like this, and maybe God will have mercy on us! No one would say at this: “Look, all the crying, groaning and tears! Is such an unnatural state pleasing to the Lord Himself!” Yes, yes. Tears are the only thing pleasing to the Lord, and only with a contrite heart do He accept those who come to Him mercifully and favorably. Regarding one soul seeking salvation, this is what the Lord showed in a dream vision: it seemed to her that she, in a crowd of many others, was in the spacious courtyard of a holy monastery, among which stood a most beautiful church. Everyone was expecting something. Suddenly a voice rang out: “The shepherd is coming!” The people parted, and everyone saw the Savior coming in a shepherd’s robe. His face was of extraordinary beauty, and His welcoming gaze spread joy wherever it fell. He walked through the space between the people and the church and stood at the door of the church. Everyone's eyes were fixed on Him... With a wave of his hand and a sign of his face, He began to call to Him from the crowd of people who He needed. Those called were clothed in light and, the closer they came, the more luminous they became. It is clear that these were signs of special grace and mercy. But, having called two or three, the Savior stopped as if in bewilderment. The soul that saw the vision, not bad in life, not shying away from deeds and labors and doing the good that she could, from the very appearance of the Lord, dreamed that, probably, for the sake of such a service to the Lord, or for the sake of the fact that she was not the same as others, the Lord would show her some sign of His special favor. Therefore, when He stopped calling, it seemed to her that now it was her turn. Stepping out from behind the others, she turned to the Lord: “Isn’t it me, Lord?..” But the Lord did not look at her, but only his gaze and the movement of his head expressed contempt and rejection. The soul that saw this was struck like an arrow and fell with a cry of despair. Those around her rushed to help her, but she pushed everyone away, shouting only: “I am a sinner... I am lost... The Lord rejected me, but without Him how can I live and where can I seek salvation!” But the Lord was already close, and the soul, groaning in grief, barely lifted its head when it saw the Lord, who stood over it with outstretched arms, ready to lift it up. A comforting word came from His Divine lips: “This is how you should come to Me!” And that was the end of the vision. You see how you need to come to the Lord! There is no point in speculating here! The Lord Himself established this path of prayer: this is the path we will follow. He came into the world to save sinners: we will come to Him as sinners, only as sinners crying over our sins with the determination not to repeat them again. There is not one righteous person on earth; all are sinners and all are justified by tuna, the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, for the sake of faith in Him and tears of repentance and contrition! Let us cry over our sins, so that we may be saved! Amen. On the meat-eating week (About the Last Judgment) The Sunday before last, our mother, the Holy Church, told us: “Be zealous in every way for a virtuous life, but do not be proud of your good deeds; because you cannot make enough of them so that you can finally base the hope of your salvation on them. Therefore, without slackening in good deeds, do not rely on your own righteousness.” Last Sunday, the Holy Church told us: “Only the pure and the saints will enter the Kingdom of God... Since you do not present yourself to the Lord as pure in the unwavering fulfillment of His commandments, then be zealous to cleanse yourself from all sin with tears of repentance. Weep for your sins, as one weeps for the dead, in order to cry out for mercy from God.” Now what is she saying? Now she is depicting for us the Last Judgment of God and thereby wants to inspire her obedient children to greater and greater labors, and to awaken the careless and careless ones from sleep. First she says: “Work and do not slack in your labors; for when the Lord comes and all the holy angels with Him, then He will place you at His right hand and say to you: “Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world” (Matthew 25:34). And from that moment you will begin to taste bliss, for the expression of which there are no words in human language. Then you will forget all your labors and sorrows.” And to the second, that is, to the careless, the Holy Church now says: “I constantly instill in you - live, my children, as true Christians should live, but you do not listen. I invite you to repentance, but you close your ears to my call; I tell you - cry for your sins, but you not only do not cry, but you mock those who cry, you even mock the very rules of repentance, as well as the entire order of Christian life. Be afraid! The image of this world will pass away, a strict Judge will appear and strike you with His wrathful rejection: “depart from Me, the curse, into eternal fire, prepared for the devil and his angel” (Matthew 25:41). Here's today's lesson! It is clear and complete with all its simplicity and brevity. And I have nothing left to add to this except one thing: imprint the image of God’s Judgment on your mind and heart and always carry it with you, without taking your attention away from it. You will see for yourself with what inspiration and what readiness for all kinds of work your spirit will be filled if you have even the slightest concern for the salvation of your soul! On the other hand, what fear and what contrition will be poured into the hearts of those who are not entirely correct, indulge in passions and indulge in liberties. It can be said that if somehow this image of God’s Judgment could be deeply imprinted in the souls of people, then everyone would in a short time become efficient zealots of good deeds. For believe that true news would come from Heaven, that tomorrow or the day after tomorrow the Lord will come! Would anyone then indulge in pleasures and amusements? Would you indulge your passions and commit sins?.. Would you still put off repentance and correction?.. What kind of crazy person would do this, and everyone who had not lost their sense would rush to quickly do everything that could still be done in this short time. Just as students for whom an exam is coming, only think about how to prepare for the exam: some hardly sleep and don’t eat, much less even allow themselves to think about games and pranks - so it would be with us if the memory of God’s Judgment never left our heads... Our only concern would be to fulfill everything required by the Lord without fail and thereby appear pleasing to Him at the Hour of Judgment. But our misfortune is that we are accustomed to distance this Hour of Judgment from ourselves, we are accustomed to it, or we have given ourselves the right to do so. Everyone thinks: “For as long as I have been living, I keep hearing: “Here is the Judgment!” Here is the Judgment!..” - and hitherto there is no Judgment. Maybe not yet. Our fathers, grandfathers and great-grandfathers also waited for the Judgment, but we still don’t see it, so much time after them.” All this is so. One can add even more: that it has been eighteen centuries since the Lord said about the Judgment and how they are waiting for the Judgment, and still it is not there. But what of this? It has not existed before, but perhaps we will not have time to leave this church before the Lord comes. For it is certain that He will come and that no one can say definitively when He will come. And we won’t take a breath before He appears. Noah told his fellow citizens: “Stop sinning, otherwise the Lord will drown you with a flood.” Perhaps at the beginning of the sermon some people calmed down, but then, as ten, twenty, a hundred or more years passed, everyone gave themselves the right not to believe the threat that had not come true for so long. But this disbelief did not delay the event. The flood came and took everything... Perhaps a minute before this, Noah repeated his sermon, and they laughed at him, but nevertheless, what was ordained by the Lord was fulfilled; Perhaps the flood caught someone laughing like that. Likewise, we have many people who are delaying the Hour of Judgment; others, perhaps, do not believe it; but all this will not remove the Judgment, and there will be a moment when the Lord’s decree will be fulfilled - it will be fulfilled when, without tea, it suddenly seizes us. “In the days of Noah,” says the Lord, “they ate, they drank, they married, they trespassed,” they built and traded... No one even thought about the flood. But the flood came suddenly and “took everything away” (Matthew 24:37–39). So we eat, drink, have fun and worry about various matters - we don’t even think about God’s Judgment; but maybe he will come right away and find us in what we have. For just as lightning, appearing at one edge of the sky, in one instant runs to the other and covers the entire sky, so the appearance of the Son of Man will be sudden and instantaneous. And we are moving this decisive time away from ourselves, and we are moving it to an indefinite distance, so that there seems to be no end in sight when this will happen. But here’s the thing: delay God’s Judgment for as long as you want. Perhaps, in fact, the Lord will not come soon to judge the living and the dead; but what benefit or indulgence does this give us?.. Still, He will come and judge us and judge us without partiality, according to the law of the Gospel, which we have received. Nevertheless, our duty to be true Christians is not diminished in any way. Even now, even in a thousand years, we will have to stand at the Judgment, we will still have to, and at that Judgment we will give an account of the use of real hours, days and years, real ones, and not future, imaginary ones. So isn’t it better for us to behave every hour as if the Lord were about to appear, or, better, as if we were already standing at the Judgment. Oh, if the Lord would allow us to put our minds in such a mood! What zeal for holiness would then begin to consume (hurt) us? The enemy knows the power of this thought and in every possible way knocks it out of our heads with various plausible assumptions! But, brothers, let us manage to counter all his machinations with one simple reasoning. Let us tell him: “Even if the Judgment is not soon, but if any relief can be extracted from here, it is only for those who can be sure that the hour of their death coincides with the Hour of the distant Judgment; What does it matter to us? Behold, now or tomorrow death will come and put an end to everything we have and will seal our fate forever, for after death there is no repentance. Whatever death finds us in is the same in which we will appear at the Judgment. Death will find us unrepentant sinners, and the Righteous Judge will see us as unrepentant sinners and condemn us. Death will find us repenting of our sins and zealous for good; this is how the Judging Lord will recognize us and have mercy. But when our death comes, no one can tell us. Maybe just another minute, and everything will be over... and we will go to the Throne of God, and we will hear from Him a sentence that no one can change.” Let us contrast such reasoning with the crafty enemy, who, with the thought of the remoteness of God’s Judgment, attempts to obscure the picture of this Judgment in our minds and thereby weaken our zeal. And in fact, what is the use of putting off the time of the Last Judgment behind the mountains, when death, no less formidable and decisive, stands behind us? Let us submit, like obedient children, to the saving inspiration of our mother, the Church! Let us fill our memory with the picture of God’s Judgment and let us not take our attention away from it! The Judgment emanates more than just fear and horror... It can also provide abundant consolation. For there it will be said not one thing: “go away... curses...”, but also another: “Come, blessed ones...” and the last before the first. It is only necessary, thinking about the Judgment of God, to arrange your life in such a way that you do not end up on the left side, with the goats, but on the right hand, with the sheep. What is needed for this? We must fulfill God’s commandments with all zeal, and if we fall into any sins, we repent and cry about it, constantly persuading our souls with such church songs: “Living on earth, my soul, repent: the dust (dust) does not sing in the grave, it does not absolve sins. Cry out to Christ God: “Keeper of hearts, those who have sinned, do not even judge me first, have mercy on me.” How long, my soul, do you remain in sin? How long will you accept the offer of repentance? Receive in your mind the coming Judgment and cry out to the Lord: “Keeper of hearts, having sinned, do not even judge me first, have mercy on me” (Troparion, tone 3, according to the 3rd kathisma of the Psalter). “Soul, repent before your departure, the Judgment is unwashed (impartial) for sinners and intolerable. Cry out to the Lord with tenderness of heart: “Those who have sinned in knowledge and in ignorance, O Generous One, through the prayers of the Theotokos, spare me and save me” (Troparion, tone 7, according to the 4th kathisma of the Psalter). Amen. In the week of raw food (The main feeling of the heart is sadness: our nature cries for a lost paradise) The Holy Church devotes this day to the remembrance of the fall of our forefathers, and you have heard what plaintive lamentations she puts into the mouths of our forefathers who were expelled from paradise and sat directly opposite it! The feeling of loss was so vivid then: paradise was in sight and from it, perhaps, came the fragrances of flowers and trees, reminiscent of the blissful life that they had so recently tasted in innocence. It was impossible not to complain to our forefathers. But this was not the lament of Adam and Eve; but fallen human nature lamented! All the powers of the soul and all parts of the body cried out. The ancestors passed it on only through words to the creatures that lamented with them and to their future offspring. From that moment on, lamentation, crying and sadness became akin to human nature and began to form the main tone of our heartfelt feelings and dispositions. And who among the descendants of the primordial, the heirs of fallen human nature, will not testify to this with his own experience? Indeed, we love to have fun, but what does it mean that, after the most complete joy, the soul plunges into sadness, forgetting about all the joys that it previously did not remember? Is it not that from the depths of our being the soul is given to know how insignificant all these amusements are in comparison with the bliss that is lost with the loss of paradise. We are ready to rejoice with those who rejoice, but no matter how varied and great the objects of human joy are, they do not leave a deep mark on us and are soon forgotten. But if we see a mother crying over her dead son, her only support, or a wife tearing herself apart over the grave of her beloved husband, grief deeply cuts through our soul and the word and image of those who mourn remain indelible in our memory. Doesn't this also mean that sorrow is closer and more akin to us than joy? You listen to singing or music; nice, of course; cheerful tones resonate in the soul, but they glide only on its surface, leaving no noticeable trace in it, while sad tones immerse the soul within themselves and remain memorable to it for a long time. Ask a traveler, and he will tell you that, of the many things he has seen, the ones that stand out in his head are mainly those objects and places that plunged him into sad reverie. These examples are enough, it seems, to explain the idea that the main feeling of our heart is sadness. This means that our nature cries for a lost paradise and, no matter how we try to drown out this cry, it is heard in the depths of the heart, in spite of all the stupefying gaiety, and clearly tells a person: “Stop having fun in self-forgetfulness; You, fallen one, have lost a lot: look better, is there somewhere a way to get back what you lost? One pagan overheard this cry of the human soul and this is what allegory he clothed his thought about it with! Some old sage was walking in a secluded place, immersed in thoughts about the fate of mankind. He was brought out of this reverie by the question: “You probably saw him? Tell me where he went; I will rush after him and perhaps overtake him.” Turning around, the sage saw the girl. She was wearing the clothes of the royal daughters, but worn and torn. Her face was gloomy and tanned, but its features showed the former high beauty. After examining the wanderer, the sage asked her: “What do you need?” She repeated again: “You probably know him, tell me where and how I can find him?” - “But what are you talking about?” - said the sage. “Don’t you know about this,” answered the maiden. - Ohma! And I think that there is no person who does not know about my grief.” The sage asked her with sympathy: “Tell me what your grief is, and maybe I’ll figure out how to help you.” “Think and help,” she answered. “That’s what I’ll tell you. I was in a country of light, full of joy. I felt good there, so good! The marriage was being prepared... My groom, I don’t remember his facial features, was of indescribable beauty... I’ve almost forgotten everything... but I remember that everything was already ready for the marriage, when someone came and spoke to me such sweet speeches... Then he gave me something to drink. I drank and immediately fell into unconsciousness or fell asleep. Waking up - ah, it would be better for me never to wake up! – I woke up and found myself on this earth gloomy and stuffy. Where did that bright home of mine go? I didn’t know where my fiancé and his joyful eyes were. At first, I just ran back and forth in unconsciousness, tearing out my hair and beating myself in the chest from the intense torment that tormented my soul. Having calmed down a little, I decided to look for what was lost... And for how long I have been walking the earth and have not found that “whom my soul loves” (Song. 1:6). During the day I ask the sun, and at night the moon and stars, walking around the earth every day: “Have you seen where the one my soul is looking for?” And they don’t give me an answer... Are there mountains where my voice is not heard? Are there forests where my cry would not be heard? Are there any valleys that my foot will not trample? But I’ve been wandering around for so long now, looking for what I’ve lost, and I can’t find it. But tell me, don’t you know and haven’t heard where is what my soul is so sad about!” The sage thought a little and said: “If you told me the name of your groom and the name of his kingdom and the country where your bright home was, I would show you the way there, but the way you speak, no one can guide you! Will not your fiancé take pity on you and send someone to show you the way to the blessed home you have lost, or will he not come for you? Having said this, the sage turned away, and the maiden went on again to look for the unobtainable. It’s clear what this allegory means! It depicts a soul lamenting the loss of paradise and communion with God, looking for Him and not finding Him. Such is every soul, such are our souls by nature! What's the difference? The fact is that the pagan soul only searched and searched, but did not find what it was looking for, and the pagan could not go further! The mind encounters clear signs - indicators of the fall and loss of paradise, but does not know how to find a way to restore the fallen and return the lost. We, brothers, are not the sons of night and darkness, but the sons of light and day. We cannot have any confusion about this. We know that the Lord and Savior Himself came to earth to seek and save the lost; He Himself calls everyone to Himself: “Come to Me... and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). “You have lost the Kingdom... It is approaching! Repent and believe in the Gospel, and I will take you to Me, and you will be with Me in paradise, in the abodes of My Father, to have fun and supper.” So, brothers, marriage is destined again. The Lord Himself offers Himself as the Bridegroom to the repentant soul, for which purpose He sent bridal leaders into the world, first the Apostles, and then their successors, so that they would betroth to Him the souls of men who lamented the loss of close communion with Him, presenting them to Him, through the sanctifying actions of the Church, as pure virgins, without filth or blemish or anything from such. Thank the Lord! So we were called to marriage! Here we are already in the bride of Christ, in the Holy Church! So our souls received a sign of discouragement - the betrothal of the Holy Spirit in the Holy Sacraments, like a wedding ring! What else remains? We can only wait for the door to open, for the Bridegroom to come out and call us to Himself, to the eternal abodes. Then our heart will rejoice, and no one will take our joy from us. Oh, God grant! But, brothers, you know the conditions under which all this – what is promised – will really be given to us! Paradise and marriage communion with the Lord will be returned to us if we appear pure and blameless before Him when we appear to Him after leaving this life. We have already been cleansed in Baptism and how many times have we cleansed ourselves in repentance. But let’s take a closer look at ourselves: are there any other spots in us that disfigure our face or clothes, and let’s hasten to wash them again with tears of repentance. “Behold, now is the time favorable; behold, now is the day of salvation!” (2 Cor. 6:2). The days of cleansing are coming! Let's take advantage of this favorable time! We all sin a lot. If not everyone has mortal sins, they still have sins. Having become dusty on the road is not the same as having fallen into the mud, but still he cannot remain like that. You need to wash your face and clean your dress. Likewise, those who follow the path of this multi-tempting life cannot help but be stained by at least something. Whatever it is and no matter how insignificant it may seem, you cannot leave it on yourself - you need to cleanse it. For the Lord says that nothing unclean will enter His Kingdom. When there is nothing unclean, it means that not only large, but also small uncleanness will block our path to the Kingdom of God... With this in mind, let us be zealous to cleanse ourselves of all filthiness of the flesh and spirit in the coming days, so as not to forever deprive us of the blessed home so graciously returned to us. Amen. On Wednesday of the first week of Lent (softening and contrition of the heart alone replaces all the rules and all the guidelines on how to prepare for repentance) We have already completed half of the field of fasting! A few more, and we will begin the sacrament of repentance, so that, having been cleansed as we should, we will be worthy of Communion of the Holy, Most Pure and Life-Giving Mysteries of Christ, for the healing of soul and body, and not for judgment or condemnation. May the Lord vouchsafe us this great Gift of His grace! And He will be worthy, if we do not prevent Him from worthy. For He desires to join everyone and to associate everyone with Himself; if this does not happen, then we ourselves are the reason for it. And this is what we most need to take care of the rest of the time: eliminating the reasons that could prevent the inquisitive Lord from communing with us, for this is the essence of Communion! What can prevent this? Mainly one thing: impurity of heart. For how can the Purest One enter the church of the heart when this church is not clean? Let's clean it up! Of course, it would be best to keep it clean and therefore always be ready to receive the Lord or, better yet, be able to always carry Him within yourself. But if we are not so happy in this regard, if, without being careful, we fell into sins, became entangled in passion and thereby desecrated our inner church, let us hasten to wash it in the bath of repentance set before us. When the Lord demands purity and holiness, he does not necessarily demand continuous holiness; and it absolutely requires cleansing of sins through repentance and confession. Sins hinder the Lord’s communication with us, but not sins committed, but sins, after they were committed, left unmourned and unconfessed. ABOUT! Grant us, Lord, an abundance of tears of contrition and frank, without self-pity, confession of sins! But, brothers, let us be forced to soften our own hearts a little! In the past few days we have already quite prepared ourselves for this. Fasting somewhat humbled the flesh and lightened the soul; home solitude and going to churches cleared away the smoke and fumes of worldly vanity; listening to what is sung and read in church and praying at home, with reading, whoever can, saving books, have already replaced many bad ideas with good thoughts. All this is needed. Continuing to continue to act in this way, let us apply one more work or technique exclusively aimed at crushing our petrified heart. In the hands of natural scientists there is one device consisting of a large concave plate, which, receiving rays of heat, collects them at one point and ignites there the substance that will be placed. Something similar can be done with the heart. Let us collect in the vault of our mind all the amazing truths that holy faith presents to us, and bring them to our hearts. Pressed and penetrated by them from all sides, it may succumb to their strength, soften, warm up, melt and give rise to vapors of sighs and burn with the burning fire of contrition. I don’t consider it necessary to list these truths: you know them. For example, this: by sin the boundless love of the Creator and Provider is insulted, the vows of Baptism are broken, second: our Lord and Savior is crucified (that is, when we sinned, we sold Him, like Judas, we strangled Him, spat on Him, cursed at Him and, finally, crucified Him), through sin all the high Christian advantages, and not only Christian, but also human, were lost, and man became like cattle. Moreover: today, tomorrow is death, then the Judgment, which, without repentance, there is no possibility of changing. Also: maybe we, like a barren fig tree, are left only for this time of repentance, in the hope that we will bear the fruit of tears, and if this does not happen, we will be flogged. Collect these and similar amazing thoughts in your soul and beat your heart with them... Especially do this during prayer. Work without self-pity with prayer will surely be crowned with success! Just don’t forget one thing: don’t trust your heart!.. It is deceitful and is the first traitor to us. You must take him in your hands and squeeze and beat him without pity, just as they squeeze and beat the laundry that is being washed; one must beat this heart because it, like a greedy sponge, absorbed into itself every impurity it encountered, and reap in order to squeeze out this impurity. When the heart softens, then it is easy to control it: then it is ready for anything and flexible, like silk material. Then whatever you say, it will do everything. Tell him: “Cry” - he will cry; say: “Confess your sins” - confesses; tell him: “Stop sinning” - and he will answer: “I will stop, I will stop.” Then there will only be one more thing left to do on him: to shine the mirror of the word of God, or the Divine commandments, on him, and make him look at him in it. Then it will be reflected in this mirror with all its spots, wrinkles and wounds, that is, with all sins, both large and small; here it will see pride and arrogance, fornication and vanity, ostentation and lust, resentment, anger, envy and so on, in general, everything in which one’s heart sins before the Lord. Ask him then: “Is that you?” - and it will readily answer: “Yes, it’s me... the unfortunate one”; and at other times it will hide or point to another. Tell him: “Are you guilty of all this?” It will answer: “Yes, I did all this guilty and voluntarily...”; and at other times it will not say this. Tell him: “Are you unrequited?” - “Yes, unrequited”; and at other times it will utter an abyss of excuses and excuses. Finally, add to him: “Fall at the feet of God’s mercy and beg Him for mercy... cry and lament, confess all your sins and make a firm intention not to indulge your passions anymore, not to sin and not to offend your Lord!” And she will do all this like an obedient child. And at other times, don’t even tell him! This is how expensive softening and contrition of the heart is! It alone replaces all rules and all guidelines. Usually, a lot of rules are written on how to prepare for repentance and how to carry it out... But I will tell you one thing: soften your heart and crush it, and then it itself will teach you everything! Just as a poor person in straits is inventive in easing his lot or begging for help, so will a contrite heart appear... For then it will be in straits, like a caught and convicted criminal. How it will then begin to worry about how to alleviate its grief and avoid imminent danger! How joyfully it will then seize on the methods offered to the Church, such methods to which it is otherwise necessary to attract it already, like a lazy slave - and it will seize on them all the more joyfully because these methods are so uncomplicated: relearn all your sins, that is, all sinful deeds, words, thoughts, feelings and dispositions, and go and confess them to your spiritual father! And you will be blameless, and you will emerge from the bath of repentance “clean as wool and white as snow” (Dan. 7:9). That's it! See how little! What is the fruit? Such that it cannot be described; for the one who does this, the Lord will no longer consider him unworthy of His dwelling, but will do with him according to His promise: ““We will come to him and make our abode with him” with the Father and the Holy Spirit through the Communion of My Blood and Flesh"" (John 14:23). And then - here is the Kingdom! That is all that we are so looking for and what we then achieve with such a thing! Let us do this, brothers! Let us hasten to arrange ourselves in this way for the time of Communion of the Holy Mysteries, so that through this we may be worthy to be one with the Lord. O Lord, help us! O Lord, prosper us! Amen. On the heel of the first week of Lent (we will arrange midnight silence in our souls and thus meet the Lord) When the arrival of a king is expected in some city, its inhabitants take every possible care to prepare for a worthy reception of him: they level roads, straighten streets and houses, and take special care to clean the house designated for the residence of the sovereign in a manner befitting the king’s presence. Then, when everything is prepared, then at the time appointed for his arrival, they go out to meet him. If they talk here, it’s only about the desired high-ranking visitor! When the news finally spreads: “It’s coming!” - everyone plunges into deep silence, only their eyes are directed to where he is expected to arrive from. This is exactly the same with us now. The Holy Church has long announced to us: “The Lord is coming, coming to all who want to receive Him.” Having entered the Holy Pentecost, we began to prepare to meet Him in the undoubted confidence that He will come to us in the Holy Sacrament of His Body and Blood and dwell in us through Communion. For this purpose, they abandoned everyday affairs, fasted, went to churches, went into solitude, prayed, read and listened to what was being read. Then we had to, having reviewed our whole lives, make the obstinate right and the sharp smooth. By confession and vow not to spoil your path any more; they had to put in proper order all the functions and needs of the body, these streets where the Lord would pass; Most of all, take care to remove the church of the heart by arousing good feelings and dispositions in it, so that, having come, the Lord will calm down in it and rest us with His peace with bliss. Has all this been done, brothers, as it should be? If so, then we are completely ready to meet the Lord. And He will be delighted with us... and we will be delighted with Him. Now what? Now go out to meet Him. A few more and the Lord will come! Let us wait for Him in deep silence, as the aforementioned citizens wait for the sovereign! Let all our feelings be silent and the eye of the mind calmly look where it expects to meet the Desired, delving into the Sacrament of the Body and Blood. Have you ever sat in a lonely room at midnight? You probably felt how at that time a stamp of silence was placed on everything and a kind of majestic silence passed throughout the world, making the slightest movement noticeable. This is the state we will put ourselves in from now on, in the hope that the coming of the Lord will come upon us, and in due time He will fall on us like rain on a fleece and like a drop dripping onto the ground. The wise virgins met the Lord at midnight and were led by Him into the bridal chamber. Let’s arrange midnight silence and we will meet the Lord in our souls! Israel, after three days of preparation, led by Moses to the foot of Sinai, in motionless silence, in fear and trembling, waited for God, who would appear to him on the mountain and say to him: so let us settle inwardly and we will reverently wait not for the terrible appearance of God in thunder and lightning, but for the appearance of the Lord, bringing us an abundance of mercies. Someone will say: “Like in deep silence? Really without any feelings? No, not without any feelings, but only without fussy and stormy movements, with a quiet feeling of tenderness, dissolved by the joyful hope of truly tasting the Lord. But the Great Lord comes. How not to be afraid and tremble! Yes! Go with fear and trembling to meet Him, but not with the kind that torments and forces you to run and hide, but with the kind with which the Cherubim and Seraphim stand before the terrible Throne of God, drinking bliss from it, despite all the fear (trembling, fear, fear). But they are bodiless and pure, while we are flesh and full of sins! You cannot approach the Lord with sins, and do not approach. “God is a consuming fire” (Heb. 12:29) and will destroy, like Dathan and Abiron, everyone who comes to Him in sins. Are these fears just coming to you? If you have recognized all your sins, been sick and lamented about them, confessed them to your spiritual father and made a firm intention not to sin again - believe that, at the hour of priestly resolution, all your sins have been completely blotted out, you have been declared innocent and clothed in the royal robe of justification, in which you can boldly proceed to the wedding feast of the Son of the Tsar. If you have definitely prepared yourself properly, then do not offend the Lord, who is coming to you with an abundance of mercies, with empty fearfulness. Fix your eyes full of reverent love on Him and so disappear in Him with the warm uplifting of your heart to Him until He comes and dwells in you. So, brethren, it’s still “little eliko eliko (moment). He who comes will come and will not be stubborn” (Heb. 10:37). Let us approach by faith and love, so that we may be partakers of Eternal Life; By faith and love let us meet Him and open the doors of our hearts to Him, so that He may come in and dine with us (Rev. 3:20). From now on, let us take care to establish the Supper itself. He will bring Himself to this Supper, but what about us? And we will bring bread and salt. Salt - lamentation and contrition for the sins of the past; bread - a firm determination to sin no more. This is what He most desires to taste in us when we partake of Him. This is both the proper meeting of Him and the resting bed on which He will rest, having been satisfied with us and satisfying us with Himself! May the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ grant you, according to the riches of His glory, with the power to be strengthened by His spirit in the inner man, to instill Christ with faith in your hearts, through the Communion of His Holy Mysteries. Amen. On Saturday of the first week of Lent (We received a doctor and all-effective healing through Holy Communion) Glory to You, God! Glory to You, God! Glory to You, God! We thank Thee, O Lord our God, for Thou hast not rejected us, sinners, but has granted us to be partakers of Thy holy things! We thank You, for You have granted us, unworthy, to partake of Your Most Pure and Heavenly Mysteries! May we be according to Your word, O Lord: “Whoever eats My Flesh and drinks My Blood abides in Me, and I in him!” (John 6:56). So, brethren, now is not the time for interviews and teachings, but for doxology and thanksgiving! To the One Lord, who has visited you, may your appeal be. You now have within yourself - all the mentors of a single Mentor... Listen to Him! Listen to what He will tell you in the secret of your being, hidden, but nevertheless real. He will not speak with your soul in articulate speech, but rather, directly into your heart, He will imprint the suggestions necessary for your life. Keep only the silence within, sharpen the ear of your heart, apply it to His mouth and listen. He gives to everyone his good needs: to whom peace of spiritual strength, to whom enlightenment of the eyes of the heart, to whom healing of spiritual wounds, to whom the arousal of zeal for good, to whom readiness for exploits and self-sacrifice, to whom conviction in the truth - to each his own. But the more someone pays attention and readiness for active obedience, the more lessons he will receive, such lessons that are not consigned to memory, but are imprinted on the being. Don’t deprive yourself of this benefit! Do not hinder the Lord from working in your spirit: imprison them alone in the church of your heart. Let them be alone. Just as in the parable the groom, having brought the wise virgins inside the bridal chamber, closed the doors, and no one from the outside could disturb their mutual communication, so you, having received the Lord within yourself, close all entrances and exits, shut yourself up with Him inside and remove all external entertainment. We were sick, more or less; Now they have accepted the Doctor and all-effective healing. Let us allow this medicine to fully act in us and, member by member, penetrate the entire composition of our being, pass into all the organs, into the womb, into the heart, to cleanse the soul, to sanctify thoughts, strengthen the bones together, to enlighten the simple five senses and show us as a village of one spirit, and no longer a village of sin, to show us as the house of God, from whom let every evildoer and every passion flee. That's how much more the Doctor needs to produce! Let's not disturb Him! They say that the patient's sleep favors the effects of medicine. Let us calm down, as if we fall asleep for everything external, in order to give freedom to the accepted Doctor and medicine to act unhindered in us with all its power. Is now the time to do something extraneous? Let your soul rejoice in the Lord and the Lord in your soul. They haven't seen each other for a long time. Sins separated them! Oh, if only these sins were never repeated! Just as peace is dear to one who is on the road, so is the Lord’s rest now dear in our souls. He is tired of searching for us and seeking entrance to us. With our sins, passions and worldly customs, we drove Him out. All the time He was looking for us, sometimes like a lost drachma, sometimes like a lost sheep, and did not find us, because we tried in every possible way to hide from Him. It happened that He captured us somewhere, stood at the door of the heart and pushed to open it, but we did not open it: He pushed with words of truth, and we did not listen to them; pushed with worries of conscience, and we drowned them out; pushed us with external sorrows, but even that did not bring us to our senses. Finally, the auspicious time of fasting has come. We calmed down a little, labored in feats of prayer and abstinence, came to our senses, opened our hearts to Him with confession and contrition, and He entered into us in Holy Communion. Let us let Him enjoy our soul! Let us not disturb His peace by the speedy resumption of vanities, much less passionate deeds and customs... How many times have we driven Him out!.. Let us tolerate Him within ourselves even now. Indeed, the Lord is merciful! It’s true that he will again seek entrance to us and will enter again. But what if His current condescension towards us is the last limit of His long-suffering!.. What if, even after this, He is forced to leave us, He pronounces the final sentence: “Behold, your house is left to you empty!” (Matthew 23:38). This rarely happens, but it does happen. Why do we know whether this will not come true for us if we again allow ourselves to offend His burning heart of love for us! Then what? Then seven fierce demons will enter and hover within us, tormenting and tormenting us. Ah, let us be afraid of this, brothers! But let us place this fear at the door of our heart, as a guard and guardian of the external, but inside we will embrace the Lord with all our love and in this sweet communion we will remain with Him until the grave, keeping firmly the covenant now firmly established with Him and the vows given in confession: “I will not be a sinner, I will not be a sinner,” and walking in such a way as if we had just now come out of the font, in the renewal of life. Amen. Sons of the fallen - conceived in lawlessness and born into the world with a corrupt nature - we are reborn into a holy life in the Holy baptismal font and in the sacrament of confirmation we receive the power of the Holy Spirit for a holy life. Therefore, if no one can boast of chastity and sinlessness, and meanwhile, without the violence of conscience, cannot renounce the holy duty of presenting oneself to God as holy: then what else should arouse and warm in the heart, if not an inspired determination for self-correction, if not Divine zeal for the cleansing of one’s heart from everything that is contrary to God? But, cultivating all that is holy in oneself is so difficult and complex, the path to goodness lies among so many hidden crossroads that those who are embarking on the good feat of self-correction must certainly first outline in their minds what and how to correct, carry this outline constantly in their mind and heart, so that with it, as a faithful guide, they can bring the work they have started to an end more easily and reliably. And so – 1, what should we correct in ourselves?! Almost everything we have. Sin loves sovereignty. If he is in love with our heart, then he already takes possession of it all, and covers the entire person with his malicious power. For the sinner, both man and mankind, the inscription is the same: “from the feet even to the head there is no integrity” (Is. 1:6). Everyone can easily be convinced of this if they look inside a sinful heart. There he will see the root seed of evil, he will see the main incitements of sin, as well as what it reveals itself in. The seed of all moral evil is self-love. It lies at the very bottom of the heart. According to his destiny, a person should forget himself in his life and activities - he should live only for God and people. Sanctifying his activity by offering it as a grateful sacrifice to God the Savior, he should extend all of it to the benefit of his neighbors and pour out everything on them, so that he does not receive it from the Generous God. One cannot exist here without the other: you cannot love God without loving your neighbors, and you cannot love your neighbors without loving God, just as in loving God and your neighbors you cannot help but sacrifice yourself to the glory of God and the good of your neighbors. But when a person turns away from God in thought, heart, and desire, and as a result from his neighbors, he naturally stops at himself alone—he places himself as the focus to which he directs everything, sparing neither the Divine statutes nor the good of his neighbors. This is the root of sin! This is the seed of all moral evil! It lies deep within the heart. But growing and moving closer to the surface of the heart, this seed comes out of it in three forms, as if in three branches imbued with its strength, filled with its life: in self-exaltation, self-interest and love of pleasure. The first makes a person say in his heart: who is like me; second: I want to take possession of everything; third: I want to live for my own pleasure. Who's like me! – What soul has not felt such a movement within itself? It is not only those who are naturally gifted with high perfections, or who through their labors have managed to do something important and generally useful, can mentally rise above others. Self-exaltation takes place across all ages, ranks and conditions; monitors a person through all mental and moral degrees of improvement; it is not subject to any external relationships, and even if a person lives alone, in obscurity and distance from everyone, he is always and everywhere not free from the temptation of exaltation. From the time he took the first flattery of the serpent to his heart: “you will be like a god,” from then on, he began to elevate himself above everyone, like God - he began to place himself above the line on which he was placed by nature and society - this is a common illness for everyone. It seems that it is dangerous to admire the thought that I am higher than this, that, the other, the third? - Meanwhile, look how much evil and how many dark creations stem from this, in our opinion, insignificant thought! He who exalts himself above everyone with his thoughts and hearts, if he undertakes anything, does not do it according to the voice of reason and conscience, not according to the advice of the wise, and the inspiration of the word of God, but according to his own considerations, he does it because he wants it: he is self-willed; - if he carries out what he has undertaken, he expects everything from himself alone: ​​he is self-confident, arrogant; - when he fulfills it, he takes everything to himself, and therefore becomes arrogant, proud, pretentious, and ungrateful; - placing himself in relation to others, he wants his will to be fulfilled everywhere and in everything - so that everything moves according to his command: he is power-hungry and prone to violence; putting others in relation to himself, he cannot tolerate their influence, no matter how modest it may appear: he is contemptuous and disobedient; encountering a violation of his will, he loses his temper, the offended one is inflamed with revenge; he craves honor and glory when he has a strong character; hypocritical and vain when he is weak in soul, impudent, self-willed, arrogant, prone to gossip when he is low. These are the forms in which self-exaltation appears, this is how many sinful movements are lent to it by their origin! - Hardly anyone can help but expose themselves to one thing or another. I want everything to be mine, the selfish man plans - and this is the second branch of fundamental moral evil. The spirit of self-love is most noticeably revealed in her. It acts here, as if personally: the selfish person will not say a word, will not take a step or move without some benefit flowing from this for him. So everything is calculated for him, everything is so ordered, everything is given such a course that time and place, things and persons - everything that his hand and thought touches - brings into his treasury a kind of tribute. Personal benefit - interest, is the fundamental spring everywhere and always setting his entire being in rapid motion, and by its excitement he is ready to turn everything into a means for his own goals: he will seek the highest degrees of dignity and honor, if it is profitable, he will take the most difficult position, if it is more profitable than others - he will decide on all the work, he will neither eat nor drink, as long as his benefit is observed. He is either selfish, covetous, or stingy, and only under the strong influence of vanity can he love splendor and pomp. His property is dearer to him than himself, dearer than people and Divine decrees. His soul seems to be absorbed by things and lives not even by itself, but by them. This is the power and area of ​​the second branch of the evil seed - self-love! And who doesn’t have some things that are as painful to part with as to lose your very heart—to part with happiness? I want to live for my own pleasure, says the one enslaved to the flesh, and he lives for his own pleasure. His soul is mired in his body and feelings. About heaven, about spiritual needs, about the demands of conscience and duty, he does not think, does not want and cannot even think (Rom. 8:7). He only experienced different kinds of pleasures; He only knows how to deal with them, talk about them and reason about them. There are so many blessings on earth, so many needs in his body, so many areas full of pleasure for the devotee of sensuality, and for each of them a special inclination is formed in him. Hence - delicacy, gluttony, effeminacy, foppishness, laziness, debauchery - inclinations, the strength of which is equal to the strength of the law of nature, which constrains freedom. If he begins to delight the taste, he becomes voluptuous; the play of colors teaches him panache, the variety of sounds teaches him verbosity; the need for nutrition leads him to polyeating, the need for self-preservation leads him to laziness; other needs lead to debauchery. Being in a living connection with nature through the body, spiritually devoted to the body, he drinks from it pleasures through as many channels as there are functions in his body, and along with pleasures, he drinks into himself the fundamental spirit of nature - the spirit of mechanical, non-voluntary action. Therefore, the more pleasures someone has, the tighter the circle of his freedom, and whoever is devoted to all pleasures can be said to be completely bound by the bonds of the flesh. This is how evil grows in us from a small, almost imperceptible seed. At the bottom of the heart, as we have noticed, lies the seed of evil - self-love, from it come three branches of evil, full of its power - three of its modifications: self-exaltation, self-interest, sensuality, and these three already give birth to a countless number of passions and vicious inclinations, just as in a tree the main trunks send out many branches and shoots. This is how a whole tree of evil is formed in us, which, having taken root in the heart, then spreads throughout our entire being, goes outside and covers everything that surrounds us. One can say that everyone whose heart loves sin to some extent has a similar tree, with the only difference being that one side of it is more fully revealed, and the other the other. What is the reason that for the most part we do not notice it in ourselves and often keep it in our thoughts and out loud, without shame, we say: what have I done? - Or why am I thin? The reason for this is very natural, and it is a new generation of sin living in us. – We don’t notice because we can’t. Sin does not allow us to do this: it is very cunning and prudent. The uncovered tree of evil, depicted by us from the first time, could appear before the gaze of the mind and repel everyone from itself; therefore he hastens to clothe it with leaves, to cover its ugliness, and covers it so that not only the roots and trunks, even the branches cannot be discerned by the soul in which this tree grows. These leafy coverings are the essence of absent-mindedness and over-concern. An absent-minded person does not like to live within himself; a busy person does not have a free minute. One cannot, and the other has no time, to notice what is happening inside. With the first impulse from sleep, their soul immediately loses its temper - and in the first it goes into the world of dreams, in the latter it plunges into a sea of ​​supposedly necessary things to do. There is no present for them, which actually characterizes all their activities. One lives more willingly in a self-created world and concerns itself only partially with reality, not intentionally, superficially; the other is all ahead in thought and heart. He hurries to finish each task as quickly as possible in order to start another; starts another and hurries to the third; In general, only his hands, feet, tongue, etc. are occupied with the present. - and his whole thought is directed to the future. With such a course of internal movements, how can they notice what lies in the heart? But sin is not content with this leafy cover alone: ​​you can somehow penetrate through it, you can push its leaves apart with the wind of sorrows and internal shocks of conscience and reveal the ugliness of sin hiding underneath it: therefore, sin of itself creates some kind of impenetrable cover, like stagnant muddy water, into which it immerses its tree and its leaves. This cover is made up of ignorance, insensibility and carelessness. We don’t know our danger, that’s why we don’t feel it; we are imperceptible, and therefore we indulge in carelessness. And whatever you do to admonish such a sinner is all in vain. He is deeply hidden in sin, as in the sea. Make as many loud sounds as possible above the water, and those in the water will not hear anything. Hit a careless sinner with whatever you like, he will not be embarrassed at all. Depict his own state in front of him, he will say: it’s not me. Present him with extreme danger, from which he is not far, he will assure you that this does not concern him; awaken him from sleep, he will not be ashamed to proclaim: I am acting. – So strong is the veil with which sin finally covers itself from the gaze of the one it possesses! Here, in general terms, is everything that we have to change in ourselves, here is the vast field of activity in the holy feat of self-correction! It is necessary to remove the veil from sin - to expel from the soul carelessness, insensibility, self-delusion, absent-mindedness and over-concern; it is necessary to cut off its branches - all vicious passions and inclinations; finally to dig it up from the very roots, to drive out pride - through self-sacrifice. – The work is not small and not easy! The sinful impurity depicted before this does not cover the soul like dust that can be shaken off with a slight movement of air. No, it penetrated our very being, merged with it into one, became, as it were, a part of it: therefore, freeing ourselves from it is the same as separating ourselves from ourselves, taking away an eye, cutting off a hand. However, such a difficulty should not suppress us, but excite us from negligence. He who sincerely desires salvation does not look at obstacles: from them he will rise up even more cheerfully, begin more decisively and more zealously begin the saving work of self-correction. 2. How to do this? – Where to start, what to do next, what’s next, what is the general course of internal self-correction. The heart of a person is deep, how can one find out what is happening in it, and even more so what should happen in it under certain circumstances. Everyone has their own character, everyone has their own mood, their own passions, inclinations, habits. Everyone, therefore, must have their own course of internal self-correction: and it is in no way possible to establish one for everyone. Self-correction is not a matter of cold considerations, but of a living and jealous action that takes place deep in the heart. Christianity is a mystery, not only in its foundation, but also in its application. The process of its formation in the heart is like a path through a hidden and intricate underground passage. Those who enter into it will be told: “This is the way,” and the one who decides to go goes on his own. “Who can be saved,” who will say, considering all the difficulties of self-correction? – We answer the Savior’s answer to a similar question: “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:25, 26). Decided to begin the Christian life through St. The sacraments receive the grace of the Spirit - enlightening, strengthening and comforting. Staying inseparably with him, she guides him throughout his dangerous, earthly journey in the most wise and prudent manner. And who can hope to correct his own heart? – Can anyone expect success in this holy cause from human help and human art? Listen to what the Lord says: “I will sprinkle clean water on you, and be cleansed from all your uncleanness: and I will cleanse you, and will give you a new heart, and will put a new spirit within you, and will take away the heart of stone from your flesh; and I will give you a heart of flesh, and I will put my Spirit in you” (Ezek. 36:25–26). Everything is from the Lord. Let us surrender ourselves to Him - let us present ourselves to His gracious action as not a pure and ugly mixture, so that we, as an artist and creator, may form from us good vessels in honor - good creatures. For our part, we can present to God only a sincere desire for self-correction and complete readiness to obey His orders. What happens to those who are visited by the grace of the Lord, how it will lead him along the path of purification into a state of purity and integrity, the Savior depicted this in the parable of the prodigal son. First of all, grace teaches a person how to expose and remove the veils from him: for otherwise how can he begin to work, not seeing anything to work on? In this action, blindness disappears from the eyes of the mind, feeling returns to the heart, and the will awakens from soporific carelessness. At the same time, the soul involuntarily draws attention to itself and focuses inward: grief and fear, carrying the soul beyond the grave, to the throne of judgment, tear it away from the world, and present its concern with another higher, eternal object. – The naked tree of sin now stands before the sinner’s intelligent gaze, in all its ugly nakedness, and no longer – not according to its kind – gives birth to self-condemnation, covers with shame, burns with judgment and remorse. The ray of God's mercy in a humble soul gives birth to the warmth of tenderness and brings forth streams of tears of repentance; - abundant, incessant tears finally wash away from the very roots the entire tree of sin from the heart. - This is how everything happens. Man now stands on the pure land of innocence and is zealous for holy piety. A short and easy matter of self-correction in description; but it is not so short, and even less easy in reality. Our needs are manifold: the protective actions of grace in us are also manifold: it receives one directly into blissful peace, leads the spirit into the pasture, shepherds and delights; he tests another with long detours, and after numerous wanderings he takes him there like a weary and exhausted traveler. “First of all, he walks with him slowly, but fear and fear will instill in him. And he will torment him in his punishment, until he has faith in his soul, and will tempt him in his justifications: and again he will return straight to him and make him glad: and he will reveal to him his secrets” (Sir. 4:18-21). Let us hasten to this blessed peace, to the place of spiritual joy, to the very secret places of Divine action and sanctification. - It's difficult! but what happens without labor? Since the earth was cursed for man in his deeds, man, by the sweat of his brow, obtains for himself bodily good, much less spiritual. For how much consolation there is finally in purchasing. “When a woman gives birth, she has sorrow,” but for the joy of the born child she forgets all her previous sorrows (John 16:21). “Neither are the passions of this present time worthy of the glory that desires to appear in us” (Rom. 8:18), to appear both here in the spirit and there in our entire being. And what else can especially serve us as consolation? The fact that the work of self-correction is not as painful in reality as it seems to us at first. It seems immense only from the outside, only until we entered it. “And here, as in ordinary matters, everything depends on the enthusiasm with which one gets down to business. Ask any unhypocritically active person, ask him about the severity of his labors: he will also tell you that his labors can only be counted and weighed by others, but for him they do not exist, he does not notice them. Inspiration, setting all his forces into rapid motion, absorbs all worries, lifts him above all obstacles and among discomforts - he walks as if on a smooth and spacious path. – It’s the same in the matter of salvation: the path to the kingdom is narrow, the yoke of Christ seems heavy: but only as long as we are still standing outside, thinking, pondering the course of the new life. But when a saving determination is born and formed in the heart, it brings with it inspiration for good deeds. An inspired follower of Christ follows in His footsteps, rejoicing and blessing the yoke received from Him. From the outside they will see him in labor, in ulcers and bitterness, - and he, as before the Heart-Seer, in the hearing of everyone, confesses that he and everyone like him live - “unknown and known, as one who mourns, but one who always rejoices, as one who is poor and one rich with much, as one who has nothing but contains everything” (2 Cor. 6:9-10). – Ask where to get such inspiration? – Let us pray and the prayer of faith will bring down this Divine fire. Let us pray for inspiration, determination, and arousal from sinful sleep. - “Now is our closest salvation. The night has passed away and the day has come” (Rom. 13:11–12). - “God, who made light shine out of darkness, let it shine in our hearts, to enlighten our minds with the glory of God in the Face of Jesus Christ” (2 Cor. 4:6); as “the God of hope fill us with all joy and peace in believing, so that our hope abounds in the power of the Holy Spirit” (Rom. 15:13). After man, by his own will, opposed the will of God, in favor of the will of the devil, he fell under the power of the latter and lost the power originally given to him to walk freely and willingly in the will of God. Now, on the contrary, a reluctance to obey God and a desire to live according to his own desire was imprinted in his soul. This perverse mood of the human heart passed from one to all, and all became in this respect as one: “sin is in all men” (Rom. 5:12). This desire to do only your own will, without submitting to the will of God, with reluctance to resist yourself and obey God, is what is called sin living in us (Rom. 7:17, 20, 23). Sin, having settled in the very depths of the soul, at the same time subjugated all its powers - mind, will and feeling, and therefore decomposed into many inclinations, passions and sinful thoughts; from the soul it passed into the body, from here into deeds and actions, and thus penetrated all behavior and all relationships of a person. Thus, “sin attacked the entire being of a person - both the soul, and the thoughts, and the mind - and shook all the bodily members; and nothing in the soul or in the body is free or removed from the evil influences of this sin living in us” [Mac. Vel. Demon. o rev. and updated condition people § 4]. “The whole person is clothed in this sin, so that he can no longer look as he would like, but so that he sees evil and hears evil, so that he has feet that are quick to commit evil, and hands stretched out to iniquity, and a heart occupied with evil thoughts” [Ibid. 1-2]. The sin that lives in us, with the devil - its father, is definitely a despot, holding the soul captive and not allowing a person to do what is disgusting to him. Like an instinct, it draws the sinner further and further along the usual path, not giving him time to come to his senses and somehow stop the chain of his sinful desires. For the most part, it does not even occur to the sinner to change his life: the sinner does not even think that he is sinning “thrown into the sea of ​​oblivion and the abyss of vices, and as if settling in the gates of hell” [Mac. Vel. sl. about ter. and various things ch. 18]. “A veil of some kind of darkness is laid around the heart, smoke, I say, emanating from the fire of the worldly spirit, which below the thought allows one to contact God, below the soul allows, by permission, to pray, or to believe, or to love the Lord” [Ibid. Ch. 5]. But even if a sinner sees, even if he learns that this or that should not be done, that this or that desire, this or that inclination, is illegal, immoral: then what is the use? He does not want to raise his arm, move his leg in opposition to an unlawful desire or an unlawful inclination; because he doesn’t want to not sin at all, he doesn’t want to resist himself and submit to God’s truth. He is a prisoner who saw himself bound hand and foot, and blithely abandoned himself to the blasphemous fate of slavery. This is the main ailment, the fundamental evil that supports all mental illnesses, nourishes all sinful inclinations - not the desire to rebel against sin, not the desire to submit to the will of God. Who wants to free himself from the slavery of sin, to cleanse his soul from all filth; First of all, it is necessary for him to hate sin, to kindle the desire to resist it, to destroy opposition to God’s law and to kindle the desire to walk in it - it is necessary to break the will. Without this, no good can be done, not a single sinful movement can be defeated. Truth “is the essence of netsyah, as St. Macarius, who abstain from all fornication, and theft, and money-gathering, and similar sins, and therefore count themselves among the saints: but in the truth itself they are very far from holiness. For malice dwells in their minds many times, and lives and creeps, and has not left them” [Sl. about ascending mind. Ch. 20]. “It is not simply abstinence from the evil,” he says in another word, that is purification: but the complete destruction of those from the conscience is purification. Go down, whoever you are, through the thoughts growing in you, to your soul, a prisoner of war and a slave of sin, and examine to the bottom of your thoughts, and explore the depth of your thoughts: and see in the depths of your soul the crawling and nesting serpent, killing you with the poison of parts of your soul. The immeasurable abyss is the heart: but if you kill this serpent, boast before God about your purity; otherwise: humble yourself, as you are weak and sinful” [O xr. hearts ch. 1]. This malice, this serpent hiding in the heart - the desire for sin and the unwillingness of truth - must be killed initially. Without this, no success is possible: with every task, your hands will seem to be taken away. Without a doubt, the one in whom a decisive change in will has occurred will not suddenly purify himself noticeably. Passions, inclinations, habits will rise up against him - everything that he previously did with pleasure and in which he practiced with pleasure; but at least after this he has the opportunity to resist these uprisings, he has the opportunity to weaken them, belittle and reduce them. A change in the main disposition will be followed by a change in the forces of the soul - feelings, will and mind, then a weakening or complete extinction of passions and inclinations, one after another, although all this is not suddenly and not immediately. It is easy to fall, but not easy to rise; It's easy to run downhill, but not easy to climb up it. After this, it is obvious that it is impossible to throw off the bonds of sinful slavery without struggle and intense, prolonged struggle - and that this struggle has two types, or two methods. First, one must rebel against sin in general by hating it, expel it from its main location by breaking the will, inciting a thirst for resistance to sin and subjugating oneself to the Holy Spirit. the will of God - and then to rebel against the products of this sin, to defeat the remnants of it in oneself until its possible exhaustion. There a general battle is fought, here the private indignations of the vanquished are pacified; there the main fortification of the enemy is destroyed, and here he is completely expelled from the land, returned by victory to the rightful owner, and is pursued to its final borders. And the main victory of the soul over sin should generally be attributed to the Christian’s struggle with sin, because although grace operates predominantly in it, there is still plenty of room for the free use of the soul’s own powers, as we will see from its description. 1. The first action in it, awakening, belongs to grace. Sin hides the bonds in which it holds the soul, and it, blinded, gets used to its slavery and begins to love it. The sinner, not suspecting any danger to himself, sleeps in the sleep of death. He will not rise and rise again unless grace arouses and revives him. That is why the Savior stands at the door of the heart and pushes. The minute, the method, the circumstances of this excitement are completely hidden in the wise disposition of God's grace. It does not come with discretion, it pulls the sinner out of the stream of sin, and places him outside without any assistance from man, although always taking into account the moral acceptability of the person. For someone excited by grace, everything in him and around him is instantly illuminated, like the flash of lightning. With particular force, the properties of God, man’s dependence on God, his purpose, and especially his present state are revealed to him. It is as if he is now being introduced into the proper relationship and connection with everything with which he must stand in connection. Such insight, reflected in the heart, gives rise to a feeling of his frustration and humiliation, a quiet sadness that he has brought himself to this point, a deep conviction that he should not be like this, the need to get out of such a mess, and some anticipation of a better life and a better state. – The state in which the soul finds itself upon awakening by grace is a state that can only be produced by grace. True, every sinner can reason with himself about everything that happens then in a person’s soul, and can even arouse similar feelings; but these actions of freedom are not at all the same as a gracious awakening. The sinner’s own thoughts usually deviate into generality, and the action of grace limits the sinner’s attention to himself alone; That’s why his thoughts glide only on the surface of his soul, without touching his heart, and if they sometimes touch, then easily, without deepening; Meanwhile, the excitement of grace enters into the very depths of the human being and touches its very fundamental foundations: for God tends to speak directly into the heart. And the feelings that a sinner sometimes arouses by long and intense reflection on the most amazing objects are completely unreliable. They are forced into the heart, are held in it by force, and are ready to disappear with the cessation of tension, leaving no noticeable trace of themselves: but feelings, excited by grace, reach the very foundations of the heart, are imprinted there, fulfill it, even if we wanted to entertain them with intense reflection, and when they subside, they always leave deep traces. That is why it is in vain that someone without grace hopes to awaken himself from the sleep of sin. All that remains here for human freedom is prayer for this excitement - fervent, sincere, accompanied by vows to unswervingly follow the call of God. “As if malice is not akin to our nature, but through the crime of the first man, it crept in from without and was accepted into us, and even as if it had been transformed into our nature: so through the incomparable to our nature, the heavenly gift, I say, of the Spirit, it is appropriate to expel it from our nature, and first restore purity in us. But this only through many petitions and prayers can a soul obtain” [Mac. Vel. sl. V, ch. 5]. “Let the soul cry out with all its strength to the Lord, that through the grace of His Spirit He will make me worthy to be free from passions” [His words. VI, words. 16]. 2. “Behold, I stand at the door and it will help if anyone hears” (Apoc. 3:20). The awakened sinner hears; but whoever hears may not yet open the entrance. Between hearing and opening, more or less time passes with the hearer hesitating whether to open or not. The awakened sinner is placed by grace in the middle between two paths - sin and righteousness, placed, however, in such a way that he is given the opportunity to choose life according to the spirit, according to righteousness, no longer forcibly restrained by the law of the flesh or sin, according to which “even if I desire, I do not find it to do good” (Rom. 7:18). Now it is up to human freedom to incline oneself decisively to the side of good, to make this disposition dominant, and to inspire oneself with the determination to immediately begin one’s correction—to freedom, we say: for grace, which previously preceded every action, here already follows the dispositions of freedom, and does not enter the soul otherwise than by its desire and prayer, and does not fulfill it before it itself opens its lips to receive it. “The coming grace acts, says Macarius the Great, not as if by its compelling force it bound the will, and so, willing and unwilling, immovably nailed it to good: but the present grace gives way to autocracy, in order to tempt the will and reveal whether it honors its soul or not; whether she agrees with grace or disagrees” [Sl. about hr. hearts ch. 12]. How the soul fulfills and how it should fulfill these requirements can only be determined in the most general terms. α) So, for inclining the will to the side of good, as well as for everything that follows, the very first condition, and together with the first means, is intense effort and prayerful desire to keep oneself as long as possible in the state in which one is placed by the action of grace. Therefore, as soon as you feel the effect of grace, do not run from it, do not extinguish it with absent-mindedness or other activities, but hasten to produce in yourself sincere consent to everything that grace inspires; do not turn your attention away from her, but humbly submit and surrender yourself entirely to him; Do not speculate about the possibility of the state in which you find yourself, but rather, to the convictions produced by grace, add other astounding truths (for example, you are degrading the image of God, crucifying Christ; it is a disaster if you still do not listen, there is a sword over your head, etc.), or develop those that you already recognize. Now reflection will have a completely different effect than in a state of insensibility and coldness, usual for a sinner, it will go straight to the heart, by imitation and participation of grace itself, limiting itself to you alone and turning objects towards you from those aspects that can make the strongest impression in you, and you will not think with cold abstraction, but with a bright thought, move from one living sensation to another living sensation. It is impossible that at the same time your heart would not be warmed, would not desire to leave sin and begin a new life in Christ: God will see your desire to incline towards good and will incline your will to it. “It is proper to force oneself to do what is good, even if it is for the sin that comes into the heart, and there was no desire for it. Then the Lord, seeing such a proposal and such good endeavor, shows mercy, delivers from enemies and living sin, filling with the Holy Spirit” [Mac. Vel. there, ch. 13]. β) But while a person with soul and heart is ready to soar to heaven, the bonds of sin with all their might still drag him down. Now everything to which the heart previously received a constant direction rebels against it, everything that constitutes its essential and fundamental excitations begins to counteract. Now he actually faces a strong struggle with himself, faces what we called a general battle. It is absolutely impossible to determine everything that happens here. This state of soul is the most intimate and the most incomprehensible. Who has seen how the fermentation of elements occurs in an egg? Who can say in what state the embryo is in the rotting grain? The main points of this battle can, however, be determined based on the experience of converting sinners. What sin primarily detains the sinner who is reforming, and against what he needs to strain all his efforts, these are the main directions of sin - the root passions of the sinful heart. They are: emanating from the main tone of the soul that has fallen away from God - self-indulgence, according to which a person treats himself like a mother with her only son; emanating from the main disorder of the human being - an inclination towards the sensual, the visible; coming out of the main field where sin is revealed is the power of the age (or man-pleasing). Self-indulgence, appearance, the strength of the age [Jesus Christ points to them when He invites us to follow Himself with the cross; It is from the struggle against them that the inner cross is formed. See Mark. 8:34–38] – these are the root bonds of sin. You need to shake them off. At the moment of the sinner’s awakening and the inclination of the will to the side of good, they seem to be invisible: for here the soul stands in one more place; but as soon as she needs to get down to business, to embark on a new path, they are the first to make themselves felt, the first to block the path. “Like a sinner, moved by the grace of God, begins to repent,” says St. Tikhon of Voronezh, then resists his various temptations. A man will begin to approach Christ, and Satan will follow suit and distract him from Christ: he will begin to work for Christ, and the enemy will hinder him and lay out various snares.” Therefore, hasten to suppress their first uprising, drive them out of desire with a special intensity of love for the Lord: and now give all freedom to sound reasoning and relentlessly keep your heart with it. Enlightened by the truth delivered by secretly active grace, the understanding will first present these objects to you in their true form, remove the charming veil that hides their ugliness, and the heart, if it has not completely lost its taste, will then feel complete disgust for them; further, your understanding will present to you all the danger of collaborating with them, and you put this on your heart, and it will be inflamed with hatred of these bonds, which attract it to destruction; finally, when your understanding depicts before your consciousness all the beauty of spiritual life, all the bliss of communion with God and the saints, all the sweetness of peace and spiritual freedom: then the heart will flee from those sorrowful bonds, as one flees from fire, and rushes to these blessings, like fir trees to springs. In general, from this battle the heart must bring forth decisive dispositions that are opposite to the demands of sin: the thirst for suffering as opposed to self-indulgence, detachment from the visible and tension towards the invisible as opposed to appearances, surrendering oneself to all untruths and all reproach as opposed to man-pleasing and the power of the age. Therefore, for a happy end to the battle, he must, with zeal and as quickly as possible, collect all the most amazing ideas that can reproduce such a disposition. He who acts conscientiously will undoubtedly reproduce them, grace will strengthen such dispositions in him, and in the soul of a person the desire for life according to the spirit will become dominant. γ) Now the soul is at the very edge of the sinful region; already a small strip separates it from the land of light, freedom and bliss! The bonds have fallen away, and she is ready to soar there like a pure dove. But the cunning of sin and his father has not yet been exhausted; he still has an arrow, which almost always gives him certain prey. The soul has just strained its strength to get down to business, when suddenly a pitiful cry strikes its attention: one more day and that’s enough; tomorrow you will cross this border. The cry is the most seductive! Sin stands here for us, begging us to take pity on ourselves: but bend just a little to its suggestion, as the whole crowd of evil thoughts, now driven away only from the heart, in the blink of an eye, as if by the wave of a rod, will embrace you from everywhere and crush you with its weight: a person who had previously reached the point of inspiration again does not want to raise his hands or move his foot. Therefore, be inspired by courage, do not consider this thought to come from you, do not let it remain in your soul for a long time, and especially do not let it reach your heart. Hasten to drive him out with a clear idea of ​​the folly and danger of delay; be sure that this small demand is a reduction of everything, is a charming presentation of slavery in the form of freedom, is a flattering friendship hiding an implacable enemy. Be inspired: by defeating this enemy, you will gain a decisive victory. Say: my heart is ready... risen, I go... δ) How can you go to the just God? Look around, how many sins of wickedness there are? You, together with Judas, sold Christ, together with Caiaphas, you led Him to trial, strangled Him, exchanged Him for a robber, crucified Him. Like thunder, this evil voice strikes the soul, its hellish breath covers it and is ready to devour it in its fire. “You see the abyss of destruction, but turn and look at the abyss of mercy that has spared you hitherto.” If before, even though you did not think about God, He spared you, then even more so now. You had nothing there, but now you have at least a little... Take heart! Hurry to extract a cure from something rather than inflict a wound; The cross of the Savior signifies forgiveness. They ate for him with the strong power of faith; he will protect you from the arrows of God's justice. Hurry to church, there is a consoling balm there: the sacrament of repentance. Confess your sins, accept permission. Just as cooling water refreshes a thirsty person, so through your head, through the hands of a priest, a stream of God’s justifying grace will flow over you. Imprint the power of grace on your nature forever. Just as a seal is imprinted on melted wax, so it is here. You get cold and everything is lost. But you will grow cold: for the good movement that now exists in your soul has not yet been acquired by you. You haven't acquired the rights to it yet. You are still bound both on earth and in heaven. Let him who has the power to decide give you permission, then you will come out of the book of those condemned and you will be included in the number of the saved sons and friends of God. And grace will pour down upon you in an abundant stream and imprint on you this right of sonship to God and fellowship with the saints. 3. Thus, finally, everything calms down in the soul. The awakened sinner, having freed himself from all bonds, now says with complete readiness: I have arisen and am walking, and grace, which has hitherto acted in secret, observing, like a wise mentor, the first actions of Christ’s warrior-disciple, now accepts him into its bosom, embraces him, and fulfills it as a reward for his feat. The door of the heart is open, Christ enters the soul and sups with it. “Those who commit violence to themselves, in order to keep the church of God undefiled, comes promising to dwell in us and walk, then the soul will receive its inheritance and the church of God will be worthy of being. For God Himself, having driven out the evil one by His army, the rest will reign in us” [Mac. Vel. oh terr. and diff. thing Ch. 19]. Now she, raptured from the circle of ordinary affairs, in a feeling of complete freedom, with a flaming sword of determination and zeal for purity and holiness, goes through her entire life, reviews all affairs, weighs all thoughts, desires, all secret movements of the heart, and strikes down everything that has even the slightest trace of sin. She now calls up everything shameful in herself before the conscience and strikes her with a curse. “The soul, worthy from above to receive the power and Divine fire thereof, retreats from all the attachments of the worldly spirit, and is freed from the bonds of malice, putting aside the fossilization of sins, and imputes everything to nothing and despises it” [Mac. Vel. sl. 5, ch. 9]. Here a quick, but decisive and inspired restructuring of life takes place, concluded with a conscientious vow to be always faithful to the new covenant of the heart with the will of God. Like a perfect winner, the soul now rushes about in its own area completely free, arranges everything in its own way, gives everything a new look, everywhere, as it were, puts chains on the vanquished, and no one contradicts. This grace allows the soul to taste all the bliss of the freedom of its children, both as a reward for the first self-compulsion, and as inspiration for subsequent victories. The soul rises here to such a height, the memory of which then, throughout life, serves as a fundamental inspiring principle for it; the deep memory of the heart about her fills life with holy longing for the loss of some precious beads, with strong jealousy to find a treasure hidden in the village. “Grace first,” says St. Diodochos abundantly illuminates the soul with his light, so that it can feel it abundantly, in order to incline us to joyfully enter the path of divine contemplation” [O Ved. and spirit. diff. § 69]. “The All-Holy Spirit,” he further says, at the beginning of perfection, if we zealously love the virtue of God, gives the soul to taste the sweetness of God with all its senses and satisfactorily, so that the mind has an accurate knowledge of the final reward of God-pleasing labors” [§ 90]. Amazing condition! But it is not possible for a person covered with mortal flesh to remain at such a height forever. Grace soon brings him back into the ordinary circle of life, where the waves of sin again strive to cover him from everywhere, and new battles are laid before him. “It happens, says Macarius the Great, that the grace of the perfect reaches the measure and a person is free from all sin and blameless: but then again in some way the grace is embarrassed, and again from the opposite force the veil touches” [Sl. 6, ch. 9, 10]. Note. This is how a decisive change in will is accomplished - the initial main victory over the sin living in us. α) The beginning and end of it equally belong to the primary action of grace, only there this action is a call to feat, and here the reward for it - there grace puts a person only in a state intermediate between carnal and spiritual life, although with excitement from carnal life to spiritual life, and here it already allows him to taste all the sweetness of life in the spirit, all the joy of the Holy Spirit: the middle belongs to the free use of man’s powers or his inclination arbitrariness. We say this not because here man is decisively left to himself; for it is then that he especially needs grace-filled help, when a radical change occurs in his entire being - but because grace here will always follow the movements of the will: insofar as a person desires the Spirit, to that extent he is filled by Him, and the more he desires, the more he is fulfilled, so that when he desires completely, he is completely fulfilled: he desires to incline towards good, and grace gives this inclination; desires to renounce everything, and renounces it; will now desire to begin the work of correction, and grace will awaken this determination. If we imagine the activity of the soul at this time differently, then in the change of life there is nothing left for freedom. This, one might say, is the beginning of Macarius the Great - that grace gives only what the soul desires and seeks. It is especially expressed in the word about guarding the heart, in chapters 12 and 13. β) In general terms, we have presented here the internal move towards a decisive change of will, which, no matter how much it diversifies under different conditions, but, in the essence of the matter, always remains the same for everyone. For whoever is not awakened will not fight with himself, and whoever does not fight will not win. All efforts to rise to the determination to please God in another way are in vain. It happens that someone on his own, without grace, will begin to strain himself towards goodness, cutting off vices by himself; but he continues this work for a while and leaves it again, or if he doesn’t leave it, then he manages to form himself into a person who is pure only in appearance: this correction is natural; there is no inner spirit of life in him. The main thing here is a gracious awakening: it testifies to divine election and promises special protection. Therefore, first of all, one must pray for him and pray with all the strength of faith, with all the strength of hope. γ) Will, by its essence, either inclines towards the good, then removes obstacles, then gets down to business, and in all these points, due to its essential connection with thoughts, it must be guided and strengthened by special good thoughts, the dignity of which is determined by their adaptability to the goal. Whatever they may be, they are the best, since in the present case they either incline toward goodness or make the disposition towards it dominant; or arouse immediate determination. One must think that just as each person has his own personal mood, then for each there must be an exceptional kind of good thoughts, especially striking and stimulating, or even one kind of dominant, all-conquering thought. And each thing makes a special sound, and only gives an echo based on a sound that is similar to itself, when, without hitting it, they want to make a sound from it. That is why some people are especially struck by the goodness of God, others by the severity of His justice, others by the superiority of virtue, others by the baseness of vice, and others by something else that is not so general and important. After this, a person’s effort to occupy himself during a struggle with himself with one or another thoughts, or, what is more consistent with experience, the involuntary replacement of one by another, is nothing more than the desire of the soul for that idea, which alone can replace everything and whose destiny seems to be carried in the soul. Therefore, instead of all the rules in the three shown actions of the soul, one can put one: quickly go through all the ideas that can excite the will, and dwell most on the one that will pass like an arrow through your heart the first time. It is yours: develop it with all vivacity; it will save you. A burning glass does not suddenly ignite, because its focus does not suddenly coincide with the surface of the ignited substance: so the understanding, turning a circle of beneficial objects before the heart, does not suddenly strike it; but only when the main stimulating thought impresses on him. Then it warms up and ignites in the blink of an eye. And here the fire of the Spirit descends on her, taking her to its lofty regions and investing her with freedom and inviolable power. δ) Amazing power is hidden in the sacrament of repentance. Consciousness of sins only with the mind, without confession and resolution, is unsatisfactory for the penitent and almost always remains fruitless for life. Here the sealing of a Christian definitely takes place - a gracious seal... You cannot take anything willfully from the Lord. - It is not surprising after this that all the thoughts and desires of those who are being saved are turned to the Savior... In Him is consolation, in Him is all consolation. That’s why the sweetest name – Jesus – never stops spinning in the mouth and in the heart... And after the first main victory over the corrupted will, a person is faced with new, although not so difficult, but more frequent battles with himself, or better yet, one constant battle, the end of which is supposed to be death. 1.) What is the internal character - the internal mood of a warrior entering into battle? From the height to which grace raises a soul that has decided on a new life, the soul brings down, like a reflection of seen and felt glory, zeal for purity and holiness - inspired zeal, which, however, is now entirely directed only at itself. In the first minutes, it cannot reveal itself otherwise than by hatred of the evil that is noticed in itself everywhere, and by the relentless pursuit of it. The creation of virtues with pleasantness - the love of good - is still, for the most part, only in desire: he wants the heart to be also disposed towards the spiritual, as it was previously disposed towards the sensual - it requires such a disposition from him, and does not find it. With all his ardor he now strives to acquire it, strenuously resisting evil and forcing his heart to good [Mac. Vel. sl. about storage hearts ch. 13]. Self-resistance and self-coercion are two poles of one of his inspired jealousy. Dissatisfied with himself, he does not pay attention to the fact that such activity will cost him great labor, that it will constantly strike his heart, unaccustomed to contradictions, with sorrow and illness - that he will fall, perhaps in the opinion of others, will be subjected to their hatred and persecution; for he is inspired by the desire to contradict his heart, to torment himself, to dishonor himself. Difficulties do not bother him: he is devoted to divine grace and is convinced that the sorrow of internal warfare will soon be reduced, and for him there will still be a blissful peace of soul - a state when, without any coercion or tension, he will desire goodness and love the spiritual. This is the inner mood of one entering into battle! Having despised all earthly hope, with a thirst for sorrows, labors and self-controversy, he is jealous of regaining his love for all that is good, inspired by the hope that the Lord will finally give him the grace of purity and a spontaneous, unquestioning desire for good. 2) In what state is the soul of a person entering into battle, who has formed within himself a firm determination to live as he should, and in what relation does his new mood relate to other dispositions of the soul? Is it because the spirit, previously so deeply hidden under the movements of the soul and even the body, and now freed by the power of grace from this prison, having received freedom of action and independence of life, conveys its high demands to consciousness with such force that the will is steadily moving towards fulfilling them, or because the power of grace came into contact with the soul and penetrated consciousness and will so internally and deeply that it left indelible marks in them? traces of a special spiritual mood, only when the soul has finally decided to start a new life, the soul, as we have seen, senses a completely new order of being and life and, placing all its bliss in it, ardently desires to enter it, no matter what the cost. However, for the first time there is only one on her side. She longs for a new order; not sparing herself, she is ready to do everything to establish it in herself, but meanwhile she herself is still completely overwhelmed and, as it were, covered with that which is not only incapable of corresponding to her intention, but is even positively opposed to it. There is not a single force in her that would sympathize with her, there is not a single movement that would not rebel against her: she would like to think in a new way, but her mind does not know how to correspond to her desire, she would like to enjoy the spiritual, but her heart does not yet have a taste for it; and there all the passions and ordinary inclinations are constantly ready to flare up and, with their hellish power, burn down the sprout of a new life. In general, the one who has decided is still the same as he was before, only his radical beginning is new. This is all the same as if someone takes medicine, and it will be accepted by the body. Healing here begins at the center of life, but it still remains to penetrate to the last extremities, which still remain infected with the disease. However, according to the very essence of the matter and according to the experienced assurance of holy ascetics, a healthy direction towards the spiritual, truly good and holy lies already in the very inner foundation of his soul, and the direction towards the sensual, sinful, this disease of the soul, only persists in its surroundings, on its surface, as it were. Sin is now expelled from its fortifications, occupied by good, and is scattered, scattered in its forces. “Grace and sin are not hidden together in the mind,” says St. Diodochos, but before baptism (or before the sacrament of repentance), grace from without excites the soul to good, Satan nests in its depths, trying to block all right outcomes of the mind; from the very hour in which we are reborn, the demon is outside, and grace is inside” [Ch. 76]. “When grace does not dwell in a person, demons, like snakes, nest in the depths of the heart, not allowing the soul to wish for good at all; when grace enters the soul, then they, like dark clouds, rush through parts of the heart, transforming into sinful passions, or into various entertainments, in order to obscure the memory, distract the mind from conversing with grace” [Ch. 81]. 3) From such a state that has decided by itself, the essential necessity for him of new battles with himself, or one constant battle that has to continue, although not with equal strength, follows until no noticeable traces of sinful movements remain in any part of his being. He became dual. The members of this duality are essentially opposite in their directions; and yet each of them for his action can only use the same forces as the other. Hence, they must necessarily meet each other, strain one against the other, overcome one another: for each seeks exclusive power, strives for domination. The flesh lusts against the spirit, and the spirit against the flesh: for these are opposed to one another (Gal. 5:17). The spirit has now strengthened itself at the very root of human life, has become a firm foot here, but it still has great work to drive out its enemy from all the places where he can still take refuge: on the other hand, sin, proud, arrogant, as long as there is even the weakest movement of life in it, never despairs of victory and at all times rebels and fights. In a moment of inspired determination, by grace, an exalted spirit rushes freely in the circle of its life, and without any resistance it strikes everything, changes everything, gives everything a new look. Why not keep it at this height all the time? The arrows of sin do not reach here: a person would be free from warfare, and at the same time from the danger of defeat. But grace, which arranges the salvation of a sinner, for the most part reduces its effect on the soul and places it more usually in its own circle. This is how grace acts in relation to a person, because his spiritual advancement requires this. The instructive retreat of grace tests willfulness, teaches humility, and kindles greater heat [In the following. chapters of Diodochos]. In general, the correction of a person should be a matter not only of grace, but also of freedom. Grace in this case works if a person cooperates. Desire (for example, prayer), strain to acquire goodness, and you will receive the grace of unhindered fulfillment of what you desire [Makar. Great. in many places of his words]. If another mode of action were compatible with moral order, then it would undoubtedly be chosen by grace. “She, like a sincere mother, nourishes us with short retreats and frequent consolations” [Diod. Ch. 86]. 4) So it is necessary for a Christian, even after a decisive change of will, to fight sin. a) By whose power will this struggle be carried out? b) with what weapons, and c) according to what rules? a) Strength for waging internal warfare is given by the grace of the Holy Spirit. Under her influence or her hidden beckons, the soul wars, which through her has begun a new spiritual life [Isa. Sire. 22.7, 31]. The entire Church stands and fights under the control and orders of the Lord Jesus Christ; but according to His wise dispensation, the Church was given the Holy Spirit, Who reunites every member with Christ, forms it in a Christian way and fills it with Christ’s life. Jesus Christ completed the economy of our salvation: and the Holy Spirit assimilates and applies this salvation to us, mediates between Christ and us, leads us to Him and infuses Him into us. If now on the path to Christ one cannot help but encounter temptations, one cannot help but struggle; then by whom, if not by the power of grace, will this struggle be carried out? It is said about grace that it “walks obstinately with the faithful first, but fear and fear will induce him, and will torment him in his punishment, until he has faith in his soul, and will tempt him in his justifications: and again he will return straight to him, and will rejoice him: and will reveal his secrets to him” (Sir. 4:18-21). That is the entire sum of the testing and tempting internal states of a Christian warrior directly depends on grace. Her participation in the internal battle is so great that she not only infuses courage to resist and secretly instills ways to defeat the enemy; but it even determines the time of the sinful uprising and its measure. In this regard, grace allows sin to arise only when it is necessary for the one led by it, and always allows as much as is necessary for him at one or another moment of his formation, and in general as much as anyone can bear. The main thing that is required here on the part of a person is perfect devotion to the Lord, a constant call for help and childlike submission to timely suggestions for good that arise from the heart. This alone could replace all the weapons, and all the methods, and all the rules of warfare; but due to the uncertainty and disorder of internal movements, visible leadership and strengthening are also necessary. The warrior of Christ will always find it in St. The Church, in the person of shepherds experienced in spiritual warfare, ascetic elders, and in the writings of saints. All the paths have already been taken and indicated. Try, be admonished and stand strong, warrior of Christ! b) The weapons with which a warrior of Christ must be equipped when he goes out to battle with sin, aa) on the one hand, are the innermost feelings and dispositions, not only appearing from time to time, but constantly abiding in the heart and constituting its constant mood. He derives their foundation from the first victory, when his main efforts and aspirations during the battle, crowned with success, are later sanctified in the sacraments of St. Churches are strengthened by grace in the heart, as a reward for victory. As a result of this, he has most of the weapons that Ap equips the warrior with. Paul, or better - they are all there, but only in the embryo, in the first, so to speak, outline. So he already stands: his inclination towards the sensual, his over-concern, his earthly hope do not burden him: he now strains his thoughts, feelings and all his activities towards the heavenly, the spiritual, the one. He has armor, composed, if not yet of perfect truth, then at least of the gracious foundation of all righteous deeds - hatred of sin and a zealous desire to even force oneself to do good. There are shoes - this is his readiness, without sparing himself, even with a thirst for suffering, to follow the path of truth, without turning back, without stopping and without deviating. There is a helmet - this is a living hope for the help of grace and an undoubted hope that even here it will finally be easy for him to wish and do good. Other weapons, also essential for success in spiritual warfare, he must still acquire and, for the most part, take away from his enemies with the help of those weapons that he has. Thus, he must gird the loins of thoughts - acquire a non-dreamy mind and the ability to judge not by appearances, but meanwhile his mind every minute strives for entertainment, and feelings - or better, the previous view of things - strongly block the path to understanding what things mean in themselves. Only through intense self-resistance and long, patient experience can he acquire the girdle of his thoughts. He must have a shield of faith - a complete set of moral convictions (dogmatic convictions constitute faith, which operates primarily in the first general battle) and especially counter-convictions. Every passion, every inclination at its base has a certain conviction that shields them from the gaze of conscience and cold reflection, or better, with which the heart lulls the conscience and deceives the mind. Eg. the basis of anger is always the thought that the other is deliberately annoying us; the basis of vanity is that everyone is busy with us; – pride, – that we are better than everyone else, and so on. Such convictions lie deep in the heart and constitute its innermost feelings. As long as they are in the heart, until then one cannot be free from passions and inclinations, one cannot defeat them: one must bind them, block their exit from the heart, completely eradicate them. And this cannot be achieved otherwise than by counter-beliefs and counter-feelings. So, in order to tame anger and insults, it is necessary to revive the conviction: you yourself are guilty of everything, you are worth all contempt and reproach; against vanity: no one is looking at you; against pride: there is no creature more despicable than you, and so on. Such beliefs and feelings are truly the strongest shield, which you only have to oppose to the emerging passion, and it will subside: for it will lose support in the heart. The foundation of these convictions was laid before - in the desire and some precursor of the ability to reach convictions in the spiritual: but revealing them in this form, with such a particular application, belongs to special work - careful reading of the descriptions of other people's experiences and strict observation of oneself. These convictions receive special strength and strength when the combatant has a ready basis for them from Holy Scripture. The words of God, prohibiting or commanding something, have an extremely strong influence on the soul working for the Lord. Due to the essential power hidden in them, and due to a certain affinity with the inner mood of the soul, they bring it into a special state of inspiration, which removes the heart from its ordinary connection with objects. In this regard, the Word of God is truly a sword, cutting off all communication between the combatant and that which is armed against him, separating him from everything and isolating him. Whoever has this sword will either not allow enemies to approach him at all, or will strike them head on the first time if anyone dares to approach. But this sword must also be acquired: for the sinner previously did not know, did not even want to know the Word of God, and having decided to correct himself, he only had the desire, or even only the intention, to study it, he laid only the foundation on which he must still be edified with patience. There is also a solid foundation in him for the last weapon - prayer in his sincere devotion to God the Savior and the leadership of grace, hope in God and hopelessness in oneself: but to keep oneself in a constantly prayerful mood - this requires great work and strong tension of thoughts and feelings. bb) To kindle the spirit of prayer, as well as to strengthen all spiritual weapons in the heart, there is no better way than participation in all church services and prayers, fasting, confession and communion of St. Mysteries, communication with unanimous zealots of salvation - in reading, conversations, mutual prayer for each other. All this together is, as it were, an atmosphere in which it is typical for a grace-filled, hidden person of the heart to breathe and ripen. Here is all the armor for the warrior of Christ! Clothed in it, his inner mood is as follows: having renounced everything earthly and dooming himself to all possible sorrows and suffering, with anger at every sin, he enters the path of righteousness, burning with zeal to defeat every sinful rebellion with known convictions, the Word of God and prayer; staying constantly under all the sanctifying institutions of St. Church, watching with all care for everything that enters and leaves the heart, and is always inspired in this difficult task by trust in God’s help and hope for speedy deliverance from the strong worries of sin. This image was taken from a warrior armed with Ap. Paul against the spirits of evil (Eph. 6:11–18): for since the spirits of evil cannot act on us otherwise than through sin living in us, and on the other hand, we cannot resist them otherwise than by opposing the movements of this sin; then, pointing out weapons against the spirits of evil, the Apostle did nothing more than prescribe weapons against the sin living in us. c) Dressed in such full armor, the warrior of Christ enters into battle with every enemy, in full hope, not by himself, but by the grace of God, to win and defeat the enemy. This, however, does not make unnecessary the well-known rules of prudence that make up his military art, some of which contribute to the prevention of attacks, others to the easiest and most successful end of the battle, others to the strongest affirmation of the fruits of victory or to the speedy destruction of the consequences of defeat, and which therefore are naturally divided into three classes: a) rules that must be observed before the battle, b) in the time of the battle itself and c) after it. a) Before the battle, a warrior must act in such a way that through his activity he either prevents attacks, or gives himself the opportunity to notice them at the very beginning, or even prepares for victory. Therefore, first of all, he must aa) constrict the area of ​​sinful movements, bring them into one place: for in this way it will not only be easier for him to notice disturbances, but also more clearly where to direct his forces. 1) The external outline of the sinful area in general is this: having established itself in the center of life - the heart, sin penetrates the soul and body through all their functions, then passes into all the external relations of a person and finally throws its cover over everything around him. Now, even expelled from the depths of the heart, he still hovers in its environs, still feeds on what he fed on before; Persons, things, cases can easily arouse the same thoughts and feelings that a person connected with them when he worked under sin. The prudent warrior must now block this enemy's external supply. And for this he needs to: a) rebuild all his external behavior: give everything in him a new look, new motives, new time, etc., according to the spirit of the new life; β) distribute your time so that not a single hour remains without proper occupation; the intervals free from necessary activities should be filled not with anything, but with activities that contribute to the mortification of sin and the strengthening of the spirit: how useful some bodily exploits are in this regard, contrary to noticed inclinations, anyone can experience; γ) connect your feelings, especially: eyes, hearing and tongue, the easiest conductors of sin from the heart to the outside and from the outside to the heart; δ) to give a spiritual sign to everything in general that needs to be encountered, things, persons, occasions, and especially to fill the place of permanent residence with things most striking for the soul, so that in this way, living in the external, a person lives as if in some kind of divine school. In general, our entire appearance should be arranged in such a way that, on the one hand, it no longer requires special attention and relieves us of any concern for ourselves; on the other hand, it not only makes us safe from unexpected uprisings of sin, but also nourishes and strengthens the emerging new life in spirit. With this order, sin will be completely fenced off from the outside; it will no longer receive food and reinforcement from here. 2) If now, from the inside, a person uses every effort to preserve himself as he is, in the same form as he came out of the first victory, if, that is, he constantly warms up those feelings and dispositions that were revived in him then: then sin will be repelled from the inside, and will remain here forever without support and firmness. Sin, thus deprived of both food and support, if it is not suddenly destroyed, then at least must weaken more and more, to the point of complete exhaustion. After this, the battle with sin will obviously be reduced and everything will be concentrated in the battle with thoughts (which will especially tend to upset the new order), rarely with passions and inclinations - where all that remains is to carefully guard... It is precisely two vigilant guards that a warrior of Christ must constantly have: sobriety and prudence. The first is turned inward, and the last is turned outward; he observes the movements coming out of the heart itself, and this one predicts the movements that are about to arise in it due to external influence; the law for the first: after every thought has been expelled from the soul by the memory of God's presence, stand at the door of the heart and carefully watch over everything that enters and leaves it, especially do not let feelings and desires prevent actions: for from here all evil; the law for the second: at the beginning of each day, sit down and calculate all possible meetings and cases, all possible feelings and movements that may occur in connection with them, and first prepare in yourself the necessary stronghold against it, so as not to be embarrassed and not fall in case of an unexpected attack. ss) In order to act more successfully during the attack itself, it is useful to first organize a deliberate mental battle, mentally place yourself in certain circumstances, with certain feelings, with certain desires, and here invent different ways to keep yourself within the proper boundaries, and observe what especially helped us in that other case. Such preliminary exercise creates a warlike spirit, and teaches one to meet the enemy without timidity, and to defeat him without great difficulty, as if using experimentally learned techniques. dd) Moreover, before we begin the battle, we must first know when to act offensively, when defensively and when to retreat. Besides the fact that the use of one or another method of warfare corresponds to the degrees of spiritual growth (at first it is best to retreat, i.e. take refuge under the shelter of the Lord without resisting; further, when we have already experienced the enemies and studied their attacks, without wasting time, we can repel them; but deliberately giving freedom to passions to be aroused in oneself, or putting oneself in such circumstances where they must act in all their strength, in order to have an opportunity for battle and victory, should not) there are special vicious excitements that can only be defeated in one way or another. (Thoughts must certainly be driven away; but it is not always possible to do this with inclinations and passions, especially bodily ones). In both cases, you can lose your victory due to ignorance alone. her) Finally, one should never go into battle without the main winning thought: it is like a victorious banner. Just as before she decided the matter between good and evil in favor of the former, so now, during the battle with each particular sinful movement of the soul, she will without difficulty make us winners. With its appearance, all hordes of enemies - all vicious thoughts and desires - should be dispersed. She has the power to inspire and lift a person above herself; therefore, it is necessary to bring it to consciousness as often as possible and bring it to feeling - to establish forever on the mental firmament this luminary, driving away the darkness. Nothing can more inflame zeal for the destruction of sin than this thought - zeal - of this fast stream of living water, which, agitated, but not indignant, makes all the waves from the casting of stones of temptation unnoticeable. b) With such precautions and rules, go, warrior of Christ, with hope for battle. However, even during the battle itself, you must act according to known rules, so as not to become like randomly attacking enemies in defense. Often one procedure without much effort can crown you with success. aa) Noticing the approach of an enemy - the beginning of excitement or thought, or passion, or inclination, first of all hasten to recognize that this is an enemy. It is a great mistake and a universal mistake to consider everything that arises in us as blood property, which we must stand for as ourselves. Everything sinful has come to us; therefore, we must always separate him from ourselves, otherwise we will have a traitor within ourselves. Whoever wants to fight with himself must divide himself into himself and the enemy hidden within him. bb) Having separated from yourself a certain vicious movement and recognizing it as an enemy, then convey this consciousness and feeling, revive hostility towards it in your heart. This is the most salutary means of driving away sin. Every sinful movement is retained in the soul through a feeling of some pleasantness from it: therefore, when hostility towards it is aroused, it, deprived of all support, disappears by itself. However, this is not always easy and not always possible: it is easy to attack thoughts with anger, more difficult to attack desires, but even more difficult to attack passions: for these themselves are movements of the heart. ss) When this does not help and the enemy does not thus concede victory without a battle: courageously, but without self-arrogance and arrogance, enter the fight: timidity leads the soul into confusion - into some mobility and relaxation, and not confirmed in itself it can easily fall; arrogance and conceit are the very enemies with whom one must fight: whoever allowed them has already fallen, and has also predisposed himself to new falls, because they put a person in inaction and oversight. dd) Swearing began; guard your heart first: do not let the emerging movements reach your feelings, meet them at the very entrance to the soul and try to strike them here. And for this purpose, hasten to restore in your soul convictions opposite to those on which the disturbing thought rests. In mental warfare, such counter-convictions are not only a shield, but also arrows: they protect your heart and strike the enemy in the very heart. From now on, the battle will consist of the fact that the sin that has arisen will be constantly protected by thoughts and ideas that protect it; the fighter, for his part, will destroy these strongholds with thoughts and ideas that are contrary. The duration of its continuation depends on many different circumstances, which are completely impossible to determine. We must not only weaken and in any way, even in thought, lean towards the side of the enemy, and victory is undoubted: for the sinful movement, as we noted before, does not have firm support in us and therefore naturally must soon cease. her) If even after this, however conscientious, action in defense of oneself, the enemy still stands in the soul like a ghost and does not want to give up his place; then this is a clear sign that he is supported by an outside force; therefore, you should turn to outside earthly or heavenly help: open up to your mentor and in earnest prayer call on the Lord, all the Saints and especially the Guardian Angel. Devotion to God never remained ashamed. It should be noted, however, that α) it is another thing to fight with thoughts, another – with passions, another – with desires; and thought differs from thought, and desire from desire, and passion from passion. In all this, one must use special techniques, which must first be determined either through reflection, or from ascetic experiences and instructions; β) that resistance should not always be taken strictly: sometimes contempt alone drives away the enemy, and resistance only multiplies it and irritates it; γ) that the enemy must be pursued until no trace of him remains: otherwise even a simple thought left in the heart, like an evil seed, will bear fruit, in an inconspicuous inclination of the soul; δ) during the battle itself should not take measures to prevent it in the future. The rules invented here are always very strict, and therefore it is always necessary to change them every now and then. represent the experience of failure, which is so harmful in spiritual warfare and tempting for a warrior. c) The battle is over: aa) thank the Lord for deliverance from defeat; but α) do not indulge too much in the joy of salvation, do not allow carelessness, do not weaken jealousy: the enemy often only pretends to be defeated, so that when you indulge in a sense of security, it is all the easier to hit you with an unexpected attack. Therefore, do not take off your swearing weapons and do not forget the safety rules. Always be a cheerful and vigilant warrior. β) Better sit down and count the spoils: examine the entire course of the battle - its beginning, continuation and end, notice what gave rise to it, what especially intensified it and what put an end to it. This will be a kind of tribute from the vanquished, which will greatly facilitate future victories over them: this is how spiritual wisdom and ascetic experience are finally acquired. γ ) Don’t tell anyone about your victory: this will greatly irritate the enemy and weaken you. Vanity, which cannot be avoided, will open the doors of spiritual strengthening, and after defeating one enemy, you will have to fight with a whole crowd of them. bb) If you are struck: a) lament, but do not run from God, do not persist, hasten to soften your heart and bring it to repentance. You can't help but fall; but you can and should, having fallen, rise up. A person running in a hurry, even if he stumbles on something, quickly gets up and again rushes along the path to the goal: imitate him. Our Lord is like a mother who leads her child by the hand and does not leave him, even if he very often stumbles and falls; β) better, instead of inactive despondency, be encouraged to new exploits, having learned from a real fall a lesson in humility and prudence, so as not to walk where it is slippery and where it is impossible not to fall. γ ) If you do not blot out your sin with sincere repentance; then having received some strength in you, he will inevitably drag you down to the bottom of the sinful sea. Sin will prevail over you, and you will again need to start from the first battle: but God knows whether this is possible. Perhaps, by now giving yourself over to sin, you will cross the line of conversion; maybe after that there will no longer be a single truth that could strike your heart; Perhaps even you will not be given grace. Then, while still here, you will be one of those condemned to eternal torment. In general, about the rules of warfare, it is necessary to note: α) that in their essence they are nothing more than the application of all weapons to particular cases, and β) therefore it is impossible to depict them all. The matter of internal warfare is incomprehensible and hidden; the cases for it are extremely varied, the faces of the combatants are too different: what is a temptation for one means nothing for another; What strikes one person is completely indifferent to another. Therefore, it is absolutely impossible to decide one thing for everyone. The best inventor of the rules of swearing is every person for himself. Experience will teach you everything. You just need to have a zealous desire to conquer yourself. The first ascetics did not learn from books and yet they represent examples of winners. γ ) Moreover, one should not rely too much on these rules. They represent only the external outline. Everyone learns what constitutes the essence of the matter only from experience, when he begins to fight in action. And in this matter, his only guides are his own prudence and devotion to God. The inner course of Christian life in each person brings to mind ancient underground passages, extremely intricate and hidden. Entering them, the subject receives several instructions in general terms - to do this here, there to do that, here according to such and such a sign, and here according to such and such, and then he is left alone in the darkness, sometimes with the weak light of a lamp. His whole business depends on presence of mind, prudence and prudence, and on invisible guidance. There is a similar intimacy in the inner Christian life. Here everyone goes alone, even if he is surrounded by many mentors and provided with many rules. Only the feelings of the heart, trained and especially the inspiration of grace, are always for him, undeceiving and inseparable leaders in the battle with himself - everything else leaves him. 5) In conclusion, we will briefly indicate: α) the end of the battle, β) its fruits, γ) the external move and δ) the continuation. α) What each of the fighters is looking for is the death of the enemy. No reconciliation is possible between them. Both of them, not tolerating collaboration, seek complete autocracy. Finally, either the light of goodness will shine in the soul, or the darkness of sin will darken it. β) The fruits of this spiritual warfare are manifold. The most important of them are: spiritual strength, spiritual wisdom not only in relation to warfare, but also to inner life in general, purity of heart: for finally, sin is so diminished in it that it becomes almost invisible. In general, when, after a more or less long struggle with oneself, sin noticeably weakens, then the Christian in his whole being is then no longer what he was before: he ascends to the level of the sanctified; nothing prevents grace from now being revealed in him to the fullest extent possible. γ) From the very first time, the battle was directed generally against everything sinful in man: but with the passage of time, sin naturally weakens and decreases in volume, and at the same time the field of battle also decreases. The appearance of sin in us is the appearance of a many-branched tree. Through struggle, one branch or another is gradually cut off from him. It is impossible to say decisively which branch falls away first and which after: for here the natural mood and the previous state of one struggling in sin means a lot. One might, however, think that this falling away ascends from the grossest and most obvious to the subtlest and most intimate. First, the flesh loses its strength, then the general attachment to the visible, then inclinations and passions: the root emotions and feelings of the sinful heart last the longest. And they constitute stumbling blocks for those who abandon vigilance even at the highest degrees of spiritual perfection. However, such gradualism in reducing the volume and weakening the tension of the battle takes place only in its general course. As for private battles, although in quantity they will follow the same law, but in their strength they are completely independent of it. In this regard, a person’s natural states (sometimes he is gloomy, sometimes cheerful, sometimes extremely good, and sometimes even hateful) and states of spiritual growth (dryness, heat of jealousy, cooling of the heart, etc.) mean a lot. Each of these states in itself either diminishes the power of sin or gives it more scope; Therefore, the sinful rebellion in one case is weaker, and in another stronger, and at the same time the battle itself becomes more difficult or easier. Since these states are not subject to the law of gradualism, they exclude from this law the power of sinful uprisings. δ) When will this war end here? Let everyone decide this question with their own experience. In general, one can only put it this way: fight in the hope that this battle will finally become very easy for you, that instead of continuous it will become intermittent, and that these intervals will increase and increase; but whether the time will come for you on earth when you will be completely free from the disturbances of sin, you will decide when you are actually free. Macarius the Great (in many places of his words and conversations) [Eg. sl. 1, ch. 12, 13] advises courageously entering into battle against sinful uprisings, in full confidence that the Lord, seeing our diligence, will finally give us the grace of an unhindered desire for good and spiritual peace; but having acquired this world, we should never think that we are already free from attacks and falls. A soul given over to sin is all gloomy. Even though through long labor she managed to consecrate two of her parts: the other parts remain unconsecrated. – We must beware: this darkness can easily cover the whole soul again [Mak. Vel. in the next 6, ch. 31]. The muddy water has settled and seems clean: the water will become agitated, and the uncleanness that has settled to the bottom will again disperse throughout the entire water. Sinful movements are driven by tension into some unknown area of ​​the soul, and are always ready to arise and cover it. “It is a lie,” says Macarius the Great, to tell yourself to have a pure heart: for this never happens in the thing itself, so that someone, after receiving grace, becomes pure; He surrenders himself to enemies and various temptations as punishment and teaching. The very first and greatest people are before perfection, like a servant before a master, or like a stream before a river in the Euphrates" [Sl. 1, ch. 12. Still the whole 14th chapter. 5 words]. In general, the idea of ​​the complete end of the battle is psychologically incorrect, and morally so harmful that even if it were fair, then with all care it would be necessary to hide it from oneself and from others, due to the most dangerous seductions inevitable with it. What remains for every Christian to do? “To be strong in the Lord and in the power of his strength” (Eph. 6:10); “to take up all the weapons of God, so that he may be able to resist on the day of cruelty” (-13); “to take courage, to be strong, to stand”: for only “he who endures to the end will be saved, and only to him who overcomes will the Lord grant to sit with Him on His throne” (Apoc. 3:21). About the grace of the All-Holy Spirit “It’s as if the first one walks with him obstinately, but fear and fear will instill in the Nan. And he will torment him in his punishment: until he has faith in his soul, and will tempt him in his justifications: and again he will return straight to him, and will make him glad: and will reveal to him his secrets: if he goes astray, he will leave him, and give him up in the hand of his fall” (Sir. 4:18-22). There are many places in the Holy Scriptures of the Old Testament in which the inner state of the members of the grace-filled New Testament Church is accurately and vividly depicted. Among the best of them is undoubtedly the passage now written out, in which under the name of wisdom we can understand the actions of the grace of the All-Holy Spirit, wisely arranging the salvation of every soul. What exactly is said here about the grace of the Holy Spirit, leading a person to salvation? - The fact that this grace, when it inhabits a soul open to it, first acts in it more or less secretly, moreover, usually or for the most part, strictly and as if punitively. Then, if anyone, despite all this, remains faithful to her and does not cease to seek her complete illumination, she turns to him directly, begins to act on his soul in an open way, rejoices him and proclaims her secrets to him: on the contrary, if someone neglects her suggestions and goes astray, then she leaves him and betrays him to the destruction he himself has sought. In order not to seem spontaneous in such thoughts about the actions of grace, we present the opinion on this subject of the greatest of the ascetics. “Grace, says St. Macarius the Great, is constantly present with a person (Christian) and from a young age, having united and taken root, as if something natural and inseparable, in his heart, it became like one being with him: however, in many different images, according to its will, and in accordance with the benefit, it disposes of a person” [Conversations. 8, § 2]. “This power of God’s grace, which exists in man, and the gift of the Holy Spirit, which a faithful soul is worthy to receive, is acquired through great labor, much waiting, long-suffering, temptations and trials” [Conversations. 9, § 7]; “with great patience, wisdom and mysterious testing of the mind, it begins to act in a person who has been struggling for a long time on various occasions. And then the work of grace in him is completely demonstrated when his will, due to many temptations, appears to be pleasing to the Holy Spirit and after a long time shows itself to be patient and unshakable” [Conversations. 1, § 9], “when the soul does not offend the Spirit in anything, but agrees with grace in all the commandments; then she will be worthy of being free from all passions, and will receive the full adoption of the Spirit” [Ibid. § 7]. These words of the great ascetic serve as a complete paraphrase of the given passage. Why does the grace of the Holy Spirit act in this way? Why, from the first minutes, does not she pour out all the consolations on the soul seeking the Lord, especially since these testing actions of her sometimes serve as a stumbling block for an inexperienced and weak soul? There is only one answer to this. It is truly impossible to act differently when converting and correcting a sinner, when the all-wise grace of God chooses this particular way of action, and not another. In the wisdom of God, it seems as if it is an indispensable law to fulfill promises not immediately as they are given, but after a rather long and, sometimes, very difficult test. Abraham was given the promise of multiplying descendants like the stars of heaven and like the sand of the sea, but then the very seed of the promise was commanded to be sacrificed to the one who gave the promise. Dreams promised Joseph glory and exaltation above his brothers, but until that time he endures torment, is sold to a foreign country and imprisoned. David was anointed king in his youth, but how many insults, persecutions and dangers he endured before receiving the royal crown. The same law of testing delay is observed by all-wise grace, arranging the salvation of a sinful soul. Great are the promises of grace, but to receive them one must be under a heavy cross. However, since God, all-wise in His action on creation, takes into account the properties of the creature itself, then, based on the concept of the sinful state of the soul, one can reach some grounds that explain why the grace of God, arranging the salvation of man, first acts secretly and strictly. Such an action of grace is necessary a) due to the nature of the sinful heart, cleansed by grace, b) according to the main condition of salvation and grace, c) mainly for moral purposes. a) Between conversion and sanctification, the middle place must be occupied by correction or purification: for otherwise there is no communication between light and darkness. This purification is more or less lengthy, more or less difficult, depending on the moral state of the person being brought to the predetermined Christian perfection; but in any case it is painful. Sin entered the very depths of the human being, from there it branched out into various inclinations, habits, passions, and, having penetrated his entire being, spread outward and connected him with sensual things with bonds almost as strong as the bonds of existence are strong. No matter how carefully you cleanse a creature infected with it from sin, you cannot help but cause pain, just as you cannot help but cause pain when you remove a splinter from a living body. A heart addicted to something, as it were, enters into the object of passion; tearing it away from an object, or an object from it, they tear off, as it were, a part of it itself. Correction is painful: that is why the soul does not see the consolations of grace that accomplishes this correction. “The path of virtue to those who begin to love piety seems cruel and boring, not because it really is like that, but because man from his mother’s womb lives according to the will of the passions” [Diodoche § 93]. b) Our salvation was accomplished by the Lord Jesus Christ, namely through His suffering and death. They destroyed the mediastinum that separated man from God, and opened the entrance to all heavenly blessings on the human race. The cross is the foundation of the gracious kingdom of Christ. And every person, in order to be worthy of the promises of this kingdom, must certainly partake of Christ’s passion, not in thought, but in deed itself. Such communion richly brings down grace itself within a person (1 Pet. 4:13–14). Therefore, we can say that saving grace itself produces in a person’s soul tightness, sorrow, fear, internal torment, so that by leading him to the cross (Gal. 6:14; 5:24) and thus sharing with Christ’s passion, he can open for himself the most spacious entrance inside and sanctify him. “God cannot otherwise benefit a person who desires to be with Him other than by subjecting him to temptations for the sake of the truth. For from eternity and from generation to generation the path to Him has been through the cross and death. From this we can learn that God cares for a person when He constantly sends sorrows to him” [Isa. Sire. Chr. Thurs. part 25, pp. 38–49]. c) But mainly the grace of God allows sorrow and hides its consolations and its obvious help, leaving a person, as it were, to himself, for the formation and establishment of a moral Christian character in him, and namely: 1) In order to eradicate arrogance and instill humble trust in God. A natural person is usually confident that he has enough perfections and strengths. This is his constant feeling, which is confirmed day by day by certain successes in non-spiritual matters. Such a disposition can arise in him even when he enters the kingdom of grace and begins spiritual life. Since it puts a person in a dangerous position - close to decisive falls; then the grace of God strives to destroy it at the beginning, and for this purpose it either hides all consolation from a person, or leaves him without any obvious help from its side, when the heart is indignant, thoughts and passions rebel, and everything unclean appears before his consciousness with reminders of the past and with demands for new satisfaction. Here it is completely revealed what a person means in himself! He zealously hurries to restore inner peace, but with the strongest tension of will, the strictest conviction of the mind, he cannot extinguish a single passion, cannot smite a single sinful thought. Only a hopeful appeal to God calms the inner storm of passionate thoughts, and at the same time shows a person where to look for help, where it comes from, and how he can be strong. Repeated several times, such an experience instills a deep conviction that a person in himself is pitiful and poor, and poor and blind and naked (Apoc. 3:17), that if he did something good, if he overcame passion, resisted temptation, all this was granted to him from God, in Whom alone one should therefore seek rest. “The educational retreat of grace,” says Diodochos, brings great sorrow, humiliation and even moderate despair to the soul in order to properly humiliate its self-love and pride: however, at the same time, grace also gives it help, only in a hidden way” [Christ. Thurs. 1827 Part XXVIII § 87 on knowledge and spirit. diff]. “Grace hides its presence from the mind, and as if deliberately brings the soul closer to the cruelty of demons, so that, little by little, it recognizes the anger of its enemy, with great fear and deep humility it seeks God’s help, just as a mother, who does not want to suckle her breast as it should, lets go for a short time from her arms, so that, fearing some ugly people or animals standing around, she screaming, fear and tears returned to the mother’s bowels” [Ibid. § 86]. 2) In order not to violate freedom. There is no doubt that self-correction must be a matter of freedom, only aided by grace. But if grace, having revealed itself in all its power from the first time, never diminished its light and did not hide its action from the eyes of the soul, then the soul would be bound, so to speak, by grace, and would be in a certain need to live only according to its inclinations: for the soul cannot disobey the Divine power of grace, which gives bliss. “Grace,” says Diodochos, first conceals its presence in those who are baptized, waiting for the will of the soul, and when a person completely turns to the Lord, then with some inexplicable sensation it reveals its presence to the heart; and again awaits the movement of the soul, meanwhile allowing the devil’s arrows to reach her deepest feelings, so that with the most zealous will and humble disposition she may seek God, so that our freedom may be imperfectly bound by the bonds of grace” [Christ. Thurs. 1827 Part XXVIII, § 85 on knowledge and spirit. various]. 3) In order to test or better, secure the fidelity of the soul. The soul in its present state is very changeable. You can't really rely on her for anything. Her most faithful and reliable promises are not firm. Therefore, grace does not suddenly entrust itself entirely to the soul, does not suddenly give it everything, fearing that it will not forget and destroy itself by neglecting the gift, it consoles it in part, and gives a clear helping hand only in rare and dangerous cases. Through such visits of grace, a constant disposition is formed in the soul to resort in its needs only to the grace of God, and at the same time, in order to be worthy of its help and favor, constant and vigilant care to be faithful to it, to desire and do only what pleases it, what it requires. By long practice of this kind, such fidelity to Divine grace is rooted in the soul that even in thought nothing offensive to the Spirit of God is allowed. What after this can prevent the Holy Spirit from illuminating the soul with all His light? For one can already hope that the soul will not abuse the gift. In general, what is difficult to obtain is highly valued and carefully preserved. That is why the soul is “carried out into rest” when “fire and water have already passed through” (Ps. 65:12). 4.) Finally, in order to destroy dreamy vanity. There is, as the ascetics note, some kind of irresistible force that turns the soul towards itself, towards its own dignity and perfection. It is not only a good deed, but one decent thought, especially at the sight of any shortcomings in other people, that excites the soul to praise itself to itself, to dream about its labors and spiritual deeds. Everyone knows the danger of such arrogance. Therefore, the grace of God, guiding the soul to salvation, often leaving it to itself, tries to inspire it that it has the same shortcomings that it sees in others, that it is still far from the perfection that it seeks and which it now unjustly assimilates to itself. “Although at the beginning of perfection the All-Holy Spirit allows the soul to taste the sweetness of God with all its senses and satisfactorily, so that the mind has an exact knowledge of the final reward of God-pleasing labors, for a long time afterwards it hides the preciousness of this life-giving gift, so that, although we fulfill all other virtues, we consider ourselves nothing, because we have not yet acquired holy love, as if into a habit” [Diodochos. Chr. Thurs. 1827 XXVIII part § 90 about Ved. and spirit. various]. In general, all the actions of the grace of the Holy Spirit, cleansing and correcting - sorrows, allowing falls, temptations, retreats and consolation - are aimed at forming and strengthening the inner man, leading him to a state of sanctification, and thus making him an immaterial church of God. This general idea about the secret initial and obvious final presence of grace in the souls of believers will be revealed more clearly when we delve more deeply into the meaning of the words of the wise Sirach. 18 v.) “For he walks obstinately with him first.” Granted in baptism, or restored through repentance, the grace of the Holy Spirit is constantly present in the soul: it walks with it in all its paths, like a friend, watches over it, like a nurturer, cares about its good, like a mother about the peace of a child. But this very educational care puts her, as it were, in the need to walk with her, at first, obstinately, that is, either indirectly, not face to face, secretly, imperceptibly for the soul itself, or strictly, sternly, with some kind of love. (The first thought is confirmed by the contrast of words: he walks obstinately with the words he will return directly, and the last thought is confirmed by the words that follow them: fear, fear, torment). The need and purpose of such action are explained above. “Fear and fear will bring nan.” Here is the first discovery in the soul of the action of cleansing grace! In a sinful soul there is some kind of insensibility, coldness towards spiritual things. Captivated and admiring visible successes and perfections, she is not touched by anything invisible. She thinks or reads about the pitiful state of the sinner, about God's justice, about death, about the Last Judgment, eternal torment - and all these are extraneous subjects for her, as if they do not concern her. Such thoughts - saving visitors to the soul - sometimes remain in the mind for some time for the sake of knowledge and are then crowded out by other more pleasant ones, leaving no trace of their effect in the soul. A heart not softened by grace is a stone. Everything holy either fades in him or is reflected back, leaving him cold as before. The converted sinner vividly feels such petrification and therefore, first of all, asks the Lord to relieve him of his petrified insensibility and grant him sincere tears of repentance [Sedm. prayer for bedtime is coming]. Saving grace, in its first action on the heart, restores and purifies the spiritual feeling. Now the soul that has entered into itself sees its final disorder, thinks of doing this or that to correct itself; but he finds neither the strength nor even the desire to do good deeds. At the same time, a natural thought - whether she has already crossed the line due to which there is no return to God, whether she has spoiled herself to the point that the very power of God cannot make anything good out of her - such a thought amazes her. In confusion, she turns to the merciful God, but her remorseful conscience more vividly represents God to her as a just, strict punisher of the lawless. She goes through her entire life and does not find a single good deed in it for which she would consider herself worthy of God’s sight. God, above Whom there is no one, an insignificant creature in such a great world dared to offend by opposing His almighty will. Then the horrors of death, judgment, eternal torment, the idea that all this could befall her in a few minutes - even now, complete the defeat. Fear and trembling come upon her and darkness covers her. The soul is touched at this time by some image of eternal torment. Grace, which has brought the soul into such an overwhelming state, meanwhile guards it from despair, and, when the trembling has had its effect, lifts it to the cross, and through it pours into the heart the joyful hope of salvation. However, this saving fear does not leave the soul during the entire period of correction: only at first it is a necessary contributor to a turning point in a sinful illness, and then it remains in the soul as a protector from falls, reminding it of where sin leads. Therefore, when she finds temptation, when a strong impulse towards ordinary sins is reborn in her still unrefined heart, in fear and fear she then turns to the Lord, praying to Him not to allow her to fall and to deliver her from eternal fire. Thus, grace instills in the soul a saving fear for itself during the entire period of correction, and even until the end of life, if the soul does not have time to ascend to the state in which fear disappears in love. “When the soul,” says Diodochos, begins to purify itself through great attention, then it feels the fear of God as a kind of life-giving medicine, as it is scorched in the fire of dispassion by the action of reproof. Then, being purified little by little, she achieves perfect purification, progressing in love, in proportion to how fear decreases, and thus acquires perfect love” [Diodochos. Chr. Thurs. 1827 XXVIII part § 17]. 19) “And he will torment him in his punishment.” That is, by the way of his guidance and education (παιδε i α), somehow: by allowing temptations, troubles, seductions, sinful movements, he will test a person and reveal to his consciousness what his condition is, how high he is in spiritual life, how much time he has had in correcting himself (βασανιςω from βασανος - the stone on which the goodness of gold is recognized). One allowance for the movement of thoughts is enough for this. Here it is fully revealed what lurks at the very bottom of the heart; because thoughts come from the depths of him. Having assessed the dignity of thoughts, a person clearly knows what he is and what remains for him to do. However, no matter how grace may accomplish this, the main, one might say, purpose of its guidance is to constantly keep a person in a clear consciousness of his weaknesses. Or more directly - “he will torment him with his punishment” - in the way of his guidance, - that is, that he does not suddenly reveal to the soul all his light and all the power of his consolation - he will for a long time keep the soul in some sorrow or tightness (βασανιζω, adficio quocunque modo, to strike-hurt). A converted person carries in his mind the outline of Christian perfection and the bliss of life according to Christ; on the other hand, the All-Holy Spirit Himself, as Diodochos concludes, at the very beginning of perfection allows the soul to taste the sweetness of God with all its senses and satisfactorily. When grace hides the preciousness of this gift from the soul for a long time, then it necessarily grieves, remembering the spiritual love that visited it, but which is no longer in its feeling, grieves, not having the strength to revive in itself the same admiration, as if due to a lack of the most perfect feats. From here we can explain the great works, extraordinary vigils, extraordinary fasts of St. ascetics. They are looking with tears for some unappreciated treasure that they had, but which is no longer there. This is a high longing for the heavenly homeland! “As long as his soul has faith, and will tempt him in his justifications” - until he can rely on the soul and make it skillful and experienced in all its ways, through which it brings down justification into it; or otherwise - until he arouses faith or trust in himself in the soul, so that the soul reveres its suggestions as before a Divine shrine - or until he leads it along all his paths by which the soul can acquire justification for itself. This is the limit of the testing actions of grace, the limit of the education of the soul, beyond which, one might say, it already reaches “a perfect husband, to the measure of the age of the fulfillment of Christ!” (Eph. 4:13). Grace itself has, as it were, a certain blueprint of education (no doubt modified, depending on the persons being educated), according to which it does not openly show its face to the soul until it has fulfilled everything that is necessary for it, and on the other hand, for each soul there is its own term, only with the achievement of which it becomes worthy of the full infusion of grace. This, as can be seen, is trust in the soul on the part of grace, and faith in grace on the part of the soul. Indeed, after such a mood of the soul there is no room for doubt that it will remain forever faithful to the inspirations of grace. It is this kind of mobility of the soul, due to the mania of grace, that the Spirit that educates it primarily tries to create, or it is this that constitutes the main thing in the kingdom of grace that a blessed soul should have in itself. “A person who seeks the Lord captivates the mind into the obedience of Christ, and is worthy to be one spirit with the Lord because he never offends the Spirit of the Lord” [Abbr. M. V. Bes. 9 § 11]. God “entrusts Himself to the heart when a person devotes his soul and thoughts to Him” [Ibid. Demon. 14 § 3]. However, such a limit is not well defined for us. Ap explains it more precisely. Paul. He says: “I strive, will I not achieve?” (Phil. 3:12). What? In order to acquire Christ (-8), in order to know Him, and the power of His resurrection, and participation in His sufferings (-10). What does he do for this? “I count all the futility of being, I count all that was lost, I count all the knowledge of existence, that I may be found in Him (Christ) not with my own righteousness” (8-9). The path to living communion with Christ is the rejection of everything that is one’s own, a certain self-forgetfulness, complete alienation from oneself. In Jesus Christ you cannot be with anything of your own. That is why Diodochos says: “when a person acquires all the virtues, and especially complete non-covetousness: then grace illuminates his entire being in some kind of deepest feeling” [Diodochos. Chr. Thurs. 1827, part XXVIII. § 85]. This is how it seems to be. For what is non-covetousness? Or what happens in the soul when non-covetousness appears? The human spirit by its very nature is non-acquisitive. He becomes acquisitive because of the dominance of the soul and bodily demands over him. Now when, through long-term labors and deeds, with the help of grace, he has completely subjugated both soul and body and, having absorbed them into himself, will, as it were, mortify their movements within himself, and thus spiritualize the whole person, then not a trace of acquisitiveness should remain in him, but at the same time any obstacle to the complete infusion of grace into him should disappear. Therefore, Diodochos says: “If someone, while still living, dies through labor, such a person has already become a complete dwelling place of the Holy Spirit: for such a person has already been resurrected before he died” [Diodochos. Chr. Thurs. 1827 § 82]. And so non-covetousness can be considered the limit of purification of the soul. 20.) “And again he will return straight to him...” that is, in the words of Macarius the Great, “after the purification of a person, the work of grace appears completely in him - and he accepts the full adoption of the Spirit,” or in the words of Diodochos: “grace illuminates his entire being in some deepest feeling and he becomes a complete dwelling place of the Holy Spirit.” And at the same time, according to His promise, our Lord Jesus Christ and God the Father come to him, and in his sanctified being they make an abode for themselves (John 14:23). And on a person “the light of the face of God is marked” (Ps. 4:7). “And he will rejoice. She will dress him like a mother, and like a wife she will receive virginity and feed him with the bread of understanding and give him to drink the water of wisdom: he will have joy and a crown of joy, and he will inherit a name forever” (Sir. 15:2-6). The baby John jumped in his mother’s womb when he felt the closeness of the Lord. Our spirit rejoices and plays when the grace of the Holy Spirit makes it a partaker of the Divine. Our God is a God of bliss. That is why everyone who partakes of Him is filled with inexplicable admiration. The holy ascetics who have partaken of this bliss cannot find words to express it. “Sometimes,” says Macarius the Great, the light shining in a person’s heart so completely pierces him internally that he, completely immersed in this sweetness and pleasant feeling, is outside himself, for the sake of the overflowing love and hidden mysteries he contemplates with himself” [Demon. 8 § 3]. “The soul burns in this state, says Diodochos” [Chron. Thurs. 1827 XXVIII § 13] “and with some kind of inexplicable joy and love then strives to leave the body and go to the Lord, and as if not to know this temporary life” [Ibid. § 91]. 21.) “And he will reveal his secrets to him.” What are the secrets of grace? The secrets of grace, or the gracious actions of the Holy Spirit on man. Grace reveals to its pet - a) the mystery of the incarnation, suffering, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. This is Ap. Paul sets the goal of aspiration for the Christian (Phil. 3:10), and it is undoubtedly achieved by those who are perfect, who have come to the measure of the age of the fulfillment of Christ. It is impossible that the Lord did not deign to reveal Himself to them in all its fullness, to open both the heart and the mind, which are all in the Lord (Eph. 3:16–21). And what is impossible here when the Lord Himself lives in this heart? b) the mystery of justification or assimilation of the merits of Christ to the soul, according to which they are considered its own. The Apostle Paul provides a means of communicating the sufferings of Christ through conformity with His death (Phil. 3:10), and this conformation has already been accomplished in the sanctified, as we saw above. The same Apostle defines justification as a consequence of sanctification: “having been washed,” he says, “having been sanctified, you have been justified, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God” (1 Cor. 6:11). And the justified must feel communion with the sufferings of the Lord, which justified him, c) the mystery of a grace-filled life: - love and through love humility. God is love; therefore, only those who have communed with Him have love and comprehend it. “The mind, says Diodochos, although it will perceive all the virtues through feeling, improving with some measure and inexplicable harmony, cannot acquire spiritual love if it is not fully enlightened by the Holy Spirit... Divine grace, painting man in the likeness of God, through the enlightenment of love shows that the image has received the full beauty of likeness” [Chronicles. Thurs. 1827 XXVIII part § 89]. “After the appearance of the cross,” says Macarius the Great about his illumination, grace now acts in such a way and reconciles all the limbs and the heart that the soul appears with great joy, like a kindly child, and man no longer condemns the Greek, or the Jew, or the sinner, or those who have fallen into the world; but the inner man sees everything with a pure eye, and rejoices in the whole world, and in every possible way wants to honor and love the Greeks and Jews” [Demon. 8, § 6]. At the same time, he forgets himself from the abounding love for the Sanctifier God. “I know,” says Diodochos, a man who loves God so much that he does not know about himself what he means. It is as if in the love of God he hides his differences, which he derives from it, and always seems to himself to be an indecent slave” [Chron. Thurs. 1827 XXVIII part § 13]. “When the mind,” he says elsewhere, is very palpably and satisfactorily illuminated by holy grace; then the soul has humility, as it were, natural. For she, being nourished by Divine grace, can no longer be puffed up with vanity, even if she constantly fulfills the Lord’s commandments, but considers herself lower than everyone else: for she has partaken of Divine meekness” [Chronicles. Thurs. 1827 XXVIII part § 95]. As for faith and hope, they are completed and even absorbed by a love that is greater than them. Diodochos, having explained the high power of love, adds: “in whom God produces such love, during this action he is above faith itself, since with great love he already contains the one honored by faith in the feeling of his heart” [Ibid. – § 91]. When the Lord is in the heart, then hope reaches its end: for if anyone sees, he also hopes (Rom. 8:24). Such mysteries seem to naturally pass into every soul that is completely blessed. But there is no doubt that grace, at times, in visions or admirations, reveals to the soul other heavenly secrets, as to a person who, by its perfections, is worthy of seeing them as they are. Macarius the Great speaks about these revelations as follows: “To some the sign of the cross appeared through the light and was impressed in the inner man. At another time, the praying man, as if in admiration, was found standing in the church before the Altar and three loaves were brought to him, as if leavened with oil; and the more he fed them, the more they multiplied and grew. To others it appeared as a bright robe, such as does not exist on earth in this age, and which is impossible to make with human hands. For as the Lord ascended the mountain with John and Peter, He transformed His robe and made it shine in the likeness of lightning: such was the robe, so that the man was surprised and horrified when he threw it off” [Demon. 8. § 3]. “Sometimes he, being like the son of kings, trusts in the Son of God as in the Father, and doors are opened for him and he enters into many abodes. And the further he enters, the doors again open for him from a hundred monasteries to another hundred monasteries; and he grows richer, and grows ever richer, only to the extent that these newest revelations appear to him in the distance. And such things are entrusted to him, like a son and heir, which cannot be uttered or depicted with human lips and tongue” [Demon. 8. § 6]. However, although such a height is achievable for a person who has devoted himself to God; but it is impossible for him to constantly stay on it. Human nature cannot bear this. One holy man [Flattery. p. 169 before ed.] prayed to the Lord: Lord! weaken the waves of Your grace, otherwise I will die from the fullness of bliss. And the Great Macarius, to whom God revealed so many mysteries (one might think that the revelations he speaks of were given to him), believes that such exaltation occurs only from time to time. “If these miraculous signs, now revealed to man, and which he saw through experience, were always with him; then he could not, below the service of the word of acceptance, nor endure any labor, below hear anything, below, in the necessary case, care about himself, nor about the morning, but only if only he sat in one corner enraptured and, as it were, intoxicated. Why is the perfect degree not given to man” [Conversation. 8 § 4]. 22) “If he goes astray, he will leave him and deliver him into the hands of his fall.” - “If he gets lost” - if he allows himself to be seduced. And upon receiving (in baptism) or returning (in repentance) the gift of grace, many different sinful thoughts arise from the heart: for their complete pacification does not occur suddenly and, one might say, already after sanctification. But at the same time, from the side of grace, through conscience, legal demands come into the will, which usually in the first experience of temptation are stronger than the vicious movements, or at least equivalent to them. If a person turns his entire soul to the inspirations of grace, then usually the vicious thought is more quickly or more slowly driven out of the soul, and peace is established in it. But if he allows the object of temptation to linger in his soul, at first it may be just for fun and mental entertainment (this is the first step to a fall); then soon the heart is attached to it and gives rise to a passionate movement (this is the 2nd); weak will, which is usually controlled by the heart, begins to desire (this is the 3rd); Meanwhile, the voice of conscience, first excited by grace, subsides and subsides; reason appears and, under the hand of the heart, composes sophistical justifications; the voice of conscience falls silent; the whole being burned with desire; the will was decided and the mystery of internal lawlessness was accomplished (this is the 4th). This will naturally be followed by the action itself (this is the 5th). Man allowed himself to be deceived and fell [See. Chr. Thurs. 1827, XXVII part. Phil. Syn. oh sober § 34, 35]. The more convenient the second fall is, the more convenient the third; and the more the fall is repeated, the more sin again becomes akin to the soul, finally inhabits it and fills it all. A heavy stone thrown along the slope of an abyss will not stop until it reaches the bottom. A corrupted soul, like an old wineskin of new wine, is no longer able to contain grace, and it moves away from it. “If he goes astray, he will leave him and deliver him into the hands of his fall.” The sinner loses his freedom. A slave to sin, he obeys it in everything, like an animal instinct. The darkness has blinded his eyes, and he does not see where he is going, does not see his destruction. Finally, like the eye of light, another soul will again demand the blessed light. Life in sin becomes hell for her. Inflamed with zeal, she again enters the rank of true children of the Church, in spirit and life. But another soul falls again and rises again; falls several times and gets up several times. Meanwhile, its feeling becomes more and more numb, becomes coarser, stiffens, however, it becomes capable of perceiving stimulation and feeling its position. For another soul, a final fall is possible - into despair, after which there is no recovery, there is no opportunity to be renewed by repentance. Then grace leaves him forever in the hand of his fall. So abundant is grace, so difficult is correction, so abundant and lofty are the promises of grace, so dangerous is a fall, and especially a repeated one! We cannot better conclude our consideration than in the words of Macarius the Great: “This is truly beloved when the soul devoting all of itself to the Lord, and clinging to Him alone, and living immaculately in His commandments, and reverently honoring the finding and overshadowing Spirit of Christ, is worthy to be with Him one spirit and one composition, as the Apostle says: “cleave to the Lord; there is one spirit with the Lord.” (1 Cor. 6:17). If someone gives himself up to worries, or glory, or lust for power, or fusses about gaining human honors, and if his soul is attached and mixed with earthly thoughts, or is captivated by any things of this world, and is concerned about gaining them; then such a soul cannot escape, withdraw and drive away the darkness of passions, in which it is held by evil rulers; because she loves and does the will of the dark boss, and does not disdain evil undertakings. Let us strive with all our souls and all our thoughts to come to the Lord and to be followers of Christ; that through this we may appear worthy of the eternal kingdom, and be worthy of heavenly blessings, glorifying the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit forever” [Conversations. 9 § 12, 13]. You might be interested in: