Епископ Арсений (Жадановский). Отец Иоанн Кронштадтский

The Lord destined me to accept monasticism through prayer and the absentee blessing of Father John of Kronstadt. Having entered the Theological Academy (in 1899), I began to look for an opportunity to see him in Moscow, where he often came to serve the Divine Liturgy and visit the sick. Soon the Lord fulfilled my desire. My comrade Elijah Aburus, later the rector of the Antioch metochion, Archimandrite Ignatius, one day going to his patron, the Most Reverend Tryphon, Bishop Dmitrevsky, with whom Father John intended to serve in the Church of the Cross, took me with him. In the named church my first prayer communication with the great shepherd took place. This was so dear to me that to this day I have a feeling of gratitude to Father Ignatius and all those who later contributed to my rapprochement with Father John. These, by the way, were Alexander Semenovich and Elena Mikhailovna Mironov and especially Vera Ivanovna Pertsova. After moving from the Academy to Moscow (in 1903), I already saw and served with the priest quite often. Well-wishers informed me about his every visit. Thus, I had the consolation of celebrating the Divine Liturgy with him in the communities “Quench My Sorrows,” Iverskaya, in the Boyevskaya almshouse and at the Antioch metochion. I remember the order and features of Father John’s ministry. He came straight to the church, entered the altar through the side doors, knelt down in front of the throne, laying his hands on it, and sometimes remained in this position for quite a long time. At this time, the priest repented of all the sins he had committed over the past day, and stood up when he felt that the Lord was forgiving him. Renewed and invigorated in spirit, he then warmly greeted everyone present, put on his stole, blessed the beginning of Matins and went out to read the canon and daily stichera from the books that were usually prepared by the archpriest of the Church of the Icon of “Unexpected Joy” in the Kremlin, Nikolai Lebedev, a friend and constant companion of Father John in Moscow. The priest read impetuously, emphasizing some places, often repeating words, or even entire expressions. Apparently, he made an effort to understand everything himself and to be understandable to those present. For the same reason, he was interested in the impressions received from his reading. After a short matins and entrance prayers, Father John began the proskomedia, and sometimes left it to one of the priests to perform it. The priest served with concentration; tears appeared in his eyes, especially at the most important moments. Then the power of his prayer and closeness to the Lord was felt. After the Liturgy, the priest usually went to the rector of the church or to the authorities of the institutions where he officiated; here he drank a cup of tea and refreshed himself with a meal. At every meeting with him, one had to make sure that Father John’s mood always and everywhere remained equal, elevated, spiritual, producing a morally sobering effect on those present. Wherever he appeared, the atmosphere immediately became holy. Cheerful conversations, jokes, smoking tobacco and the like were unacceptable in front of him. Perhaps you have come across a miraculous image when those gathered behave reverently; the same thing was observed in the presence of the priest: base, petty interests receded into the background, and the soul was filled with only the lofty, heavenly; everyone united in this bright mood of spirit, and a powerful wave of religious feeling resulted. In 1906, on July 24, Father John unexpectedly visited the Chudov Monastery and first of all went to my vicar’s quarters. Sitting in the office on an armchair near the desk, the priest talked with me, and I let him read his letter from 1899, in which he advised me to take monasticism. Expressing pleasure by shaking his head, the great shepherd stood up and began to leave. I asked you to bless me. Walking through the chambers, he recommended that I take advantage of fresh air more often and not be afraid to open the windows. While examining the monastery, the priest became interested in the sacristy, where he drew attention to the Gospel written by Metropolitan Alexy. Holding it in his hands for a long time, he put the shrine to his head, kissed it and said enthusiastically: “What happiness for me today - I see and kiss my own manuscript of the great saint.” Then, having venerated the holy relics of the saint, he tenderly said goodbye to everyone and left. This visit was like a wonderful dream for us. The next day, July 25, I served with Father John in the church of the “Quench My Sorrows” community. After the Liturgy, I, along with others, was invited to the boss’s apartment, where at the table the priest gave me a lot of food from his plate and was very friendly. From here he went to the Mironovs, and Father Ignatius and I hurried there. All close admirers of the Kronstadt shepherd usually accompanied him everywhere in Moscow. At the Mironovs, I had to witness the priest’s extraordinary concentration in his home environment. After drinking tea with everyone, during which they brought children to him, showed him the sick and asked for advice, he publicly announced: “And now I will read the Holy Gospel and rest a little.” For this purpose, the priest moved to another room, sat down on the sofa and plunged into reading, despite the fact that the eyes of those present were fixed on him. Immediately, putting a pillow under his head, he dozed off. When we said goodbye, Father John gave me his diary “Grief of the Heart!” with a handwritten signature and a warm cassock made of eider down, covered with pink silk material with flowers, and I, in turn, presented him with an icon of St. Alexis. Father kissed it and put it in his side pocket with the words: “Deeply touched.” I remember, further, my stay with Father John in the Vaulovsky monastery of the Yaroslavl province. Here I was given a place in a hotel, but I only spent the night there, and spent the rest of the time in the priest’s house. I prayerfully thank the abbess of the Petrograd Ivanovsky Monastery and the above-mentioned monastery, Abbess Angelina, who showed me great hospitality and assistance in getting closer to Father John. In Vaulovo, the priest served daily, spoke teachings and gave communion to the people, who filled the church in large numbers. The day before, the regular priests held an all-night vigil for the pilgrims and offered confession. By the grace of God, I also took part in celebrating the Liturgy with the great shepherd every time. I remember Father John himself selected a miter for me, and one day, while drinking some warmth with me at the altar, he asked: “Do you serve good wine for services in Chudov?” I answered: “Average.” “I,” said Father John, “try to buy the best for such a great Sacrament.” When the priest came out with the Chalice, there was great confusion in the church: everyone was striving for the salt; he, however, treated those present strictly. His voice was often heard: “You took communion yesterday, but today I won’t allow it because you are lazy and don’t work enough” - or: “Have you confessed? You must always clear your conscience before the Sacrament.” It also happened this way: seeing the onslaught, and perhaps even the unworthy, he went to the altar, announcing that he would no longer give communion. Two nuns standing on either side sometimes dared to refute the priest’s remarks; willingly agreeing with them, Father John said: “Well, then it’s a different matter,” and with love he taught the Holy Mysteries to those who wished. At one of the Liturgies here, in Vaulovo, a terrible noise and scream arose at the locked entrance doors. They shouted: “Father, tell them to let us in - give us communion!” It was the so-called “Johnnites” who were breaking in, whom the guards who came from Yaroslavl decided not to allow into the church. It must be said that Father John received a lot of grief and moral suffering from his unreasonable admirers; the latter acquired special poignancy and strength because uncalled guardians of his honor and supposedly intercessors of the Church of Christ often conveyed in condensed colors about abuses of his name. I had such a case. We were on the terrace of the house. Father, sitting in a chair, was resting. Suddenly they reported the arrival from Yaroslavl of representatives of the Orthodox Russian people who wished to see Father John. The latter allowed them to enter. Those who came began to talk about the malicious actions of the Johnnites, pointing out that they were collecting money for the priest, taking away houses, and most importantly, preaching that the Holy Trinity, God Himself, was incarnate in him. It was with great sadness that Father John listened to this statement. – Who especially spreads such heresy? – he questioned. – M P, currently located in Vaulovo. Soon M(ichail) P(etrov) entered the terrace. With his head bowed, he knelt before the priest. Father John, I remember, told him this: “Please tell me, when you brought me donations, didn’t I always ask you if they were voluntary, if you extorted them from anyone? You answered me: “No, father, everyone is happy to sacrifice for you.” “Yes, it’s true,” confirmed M (ikhail) P (etrov). “And now look at the conversations going on: you are robbing people in my name, forcing entire houses to unsubscribe, and even preach a terrible heresy that I am God. Only madmen can say that: it is blasphemy. Repent, otherwise God’s curse will fall on you.” Here an act of denunciation was drawn up; it was signed by those present and Father John himself. It was clear how he suffered morally throughout the conversation. Walking through the courtyard of the Vaulovsky monastery, I was once detained by several people who asked me the question: “Don’t you believe that the Holy Trinity inhabited Father John?” To my bewilderment as to how to understand such an incarnation, one of the women said in a frenzy: “And this means that God Himself has become incarnate in him.” Soon after the death of my father, I received such a letter. “You,” some person wrote to me, “revere Father John of Kronstadt, say: “Our dear father,” you serve a memorial service for him, but I saw a dream, Father John himself appeared to me and said: “Go to the Chudov Monastery to Father Arseny and tell him: why does he call me only “dear father,” - after all, God the Father Himself has incarnated in me; If he doesn’t recognize me like that, he’ll feel bad.” Here I became convinced that some people, without realizing it, really confused Father John’s state of grace with some kind of physical incarnation of the Divine in him, but there were few such people. Ioannism arose as a result of excessive veneration of Father John, and since he was a true shepherd, man of prayer and faithful son of the Holy Orthodox Church, and his admirers were distinguished by deep religious feelings, the Lord did not allow such a terrible heresy to develop. A little time passed after the death of the priest, and through his prayers the so-called Johannity almost dissipated. Strange, however, was the behavior of the Yaroslavl defenders of the honor of Father John. We were told that they, having arrived with weapons, intended to disperse the restless admirers of the priest by shooting. I consider the time I spent with Father John in Vaulovo to be dear, happy and exceptional in my life. Here I had to see the great shepherd in his home life, study his character and mood. First of all, he was distinguished by his hospitality: all visiting guests sat at his dining table. Father John sat me down next to him and diligently treated me. One day I told him: "Father, your welcome and kindness reminded me of my home and my parents, who had recently died. It used to be that you would come to them on vacation after difficult exams, and they would begin to feed you with all sorts of dishes." Father smiled pleasantly at this. I immediately noticed his gentleness: apparently, he was angry sometimes, but very fleetingly, and more likely from the ardor of his heart and fiery soul than from an angry feeling. By the way, I complained to him about a stomach illness. Father John advised me to drink tea with lemon, and he himself put it in my glass and stirred it. Once, wanting to please me, the priest asked me to pass a lemon that was standing at the opposite end of the table, cut into pieces, with the skin removed. He did not like this preparation, and he sharply asked: “Who serves so ineptly? Call the culprit.” A humble novice approached. - Did you cut this? Who taught you how to peel? - Sorry, father, I didn’t know. - Oh, you didn’t know? Well, that’s another matter, but know ahead of time that the essence is in the skin. The words: “Well, that’s a different matter,” were said by the priest so timidly and affectionately that, I think, the offender was glad to receive such an expensive reprimand. Due to his weakness, Father John did not remain at the table for long. He eats a little and, apologizing, goes to his office. “You sit,” he will say, “and eat, but I’m tired, I’ll go to my room and rest.” During the day, in addition to the New Testament, he read the life of the saint, his service according to the Menaion, and at the end of his life he was especially consoled by the Scriptures of the prophets. Regarding the latter, the priest told me the following in a conversation: "I am now busy reading the prophets and am quite surprised at their divine enlightenment. Much relates to our times, and in general it is good to develop with the word of God. When I read, I clearly feel how everything is written in it by sacred writers under the illumination of the Holy Spirit, but you need to get used to such meaningful reading. Remember yourself about thirty years ago - it was not easy for me. You sometimes take the Holy The Gospel, but my heart is cold, and much has escaped my attention. Now spiritual delight takes over my heart - the presence of grace in the word of God is so obvious to me that I absorb it into myself as I read it." “What helps a pastor focus on the Liturgy?” – I asked Father John at the same conversation. "It is necessary," he said, "from the very beginning of the service to enter into the spirit of the Divine Eucharist. That is why I almost always try to perform the proskomedia myself, for it is the threshold of the Liturgy, and this cannot be lost sight of. Approaching the altar and saying the prayer: “Thou hast redeemed us from the legal oath...” - I remember the great work of Redemption by Christ the Savior from sin, curse and death of fallen man, in particular me, unworthy. Taking the particles out of the prosphora and placing them on the paten, I imagine on the throne the Lamb, the Only Begotten Son of God, on the right side - His Most Pure Mother, and on the left - the Forerunner of the Lord, the prophets, apostles, saints, martyrs, saints, unmercenaries, the righteous and all the saints. The Throne of the Lamb, they enjoy the sight of His Divine Glory and take part in bliss. This is the Heavenly Church, triumphant. Then I lower my thoughts to the ground and, taking out particles for all Orthodox Christians, I imagine the militant Church, whose members still have to go their own way in order to reach the Future Kingdom. And so I am called to be a shepherd, a mediator between Heaven and earth, called to lead people to salvation. What inexpressible mercy and trust of the Lord in me, and at the same time how great and responsible is my duty, my calling! The sheep of the verbal flock stand in the church, I must intercede for them, pray, teach, instruct them... Well, will I be cold to my work? Oh no! Help me, Lord, to celebrate this world-saving Liturgy with zeal, fear and trembling for myself and my neighbors! With this feeling I begin to serve and try not to lose the meaning and significance of the Eucharist, not to be entertained by extraneous thoughts, but to experience with my heart everything that is remembered in it.” And Father John, I will add, really felt everything deeply, which was so noticeable from his prayerful appearance and the tears that moistened his bright eyes. "Further, for concentration during the Divine Liturgy," he told me, "the very preparation for it is important, in particular, abstinence in everything in the evening, preliminary repentance and reading the prescribed rule: the more carefully and enthusiastically we fulfill it, the more soulfully we perform mass. We should not skip the day's canon; I almost always read it myself and through this, as it were, I enter into the spirit of the remembered events, and when I leave, I feel every time unpreparedness.” “How to protect yourself from conceit and exaltation?” I continued to ask the priest. In response, he took the Bible from the desk and read the open page from the fourteenth chapter of the Book of the Prophet Isaiah, which talks about the casting out of heaven of the first angel for pride. Then returning the book to its place, Father John said: "Often I resort to reading this Divinely inspired speech and marvel at the terrible fall of Dennitsa. How easy it is through arrogance to fall to the underworld! The memory of the death of the leader of the ethereal ranks greatly protects me from vanity and humbles my proud mind and heart." Then I noticed that the page of the chapter I was reading was worn out. It even seemed to me that the priest always kept the Bible open on the table to the indicated narration of the prophet, which made an indelible impression on me. “How can you save yourself from bad thoughts and feelings?” – I dared to further propose a question to the great shepherd. “This is our common human weakness,” he said. “Strong love for the Savior and constant spiritual sobriety protect from impurity. They protect, I say, but do not save; the only thing that saves is the grace of God. Here I am, an old man, and not free from filth. True, during the day, while performing the Divine Liturgy and taking care of myself, I experience almost nothing bad, but during sleep I do not I guarantee that sometimes the enemy presents such disgusting pictures that, when I wake up, I am horrified and feel ashamed.” So the priest reproached himself, and in general, when I confessed to him, he considered my weaknesses as if he were his own. I will point out a sin, and he will say: “I suffer from the same thing,” and then he will offer advice. During our conversation, Father John complained, among other things, about his painful illness: “It is difficult for a healthy person to imagine how unbearable the pain of my illness is - a lot of patience is needed.” At parting, I asked the priest to bless me, which the lamp of God did with love, fervently protecting me with the cross that was on my chest, and then gave me many of his things: a pillow, a blanket, an outer cassock, a change of linen, a portrait with a handwritten signature and the last issue of the diary. In turn, I offered him some items I had brought from the bookstore of our monastery as a prayerful memory. Between them were wooden spoons with the inscription: “In memory from the Chudov Monastery.” Father John began to choose; Having noticed an unsuccessfully written letter “ch” in the word “Chudova” on one of them, he removed it, saying: “I don’t want to take it, the inscription on it is unclear - you can read “Judova” instead of “Chudov”, and this is unpleasant.” Here again the priest’s holy mood was revealed. Upon returning home from Vaulovo, I remembered how Father John reverently examined the Gospel of St. Alexis and how interested he was in having at least a line written by his hand. In gratitude for the reception given to me, I ordered a phototype from the named monument and sent it to him. In response to this, I was happy to receive the following letter from him: “Your Reverence, Most Honorable Father Archimandrite Viceroy! I sincerely thank you for the great and sacred gift - the Gospel of John, by Saint Alexy, Metropolitan of Moscow, copied and reproduced by phototype. A marvelous monument to the labors of the great Saint, who found time to engage in this work (correspondence) among many other saintly activities. May he reward you for this invaluable gift! Now I turn to you with a request: accept into the walls of the Miracle Monastery Hierodeacon Meletius, my friend, a modest and sober man, who, I hope, will not cause you any disturbance and will be a useful member of the brotherhood. I wish you deep grace, an abundant gift of living words and good success in all matters with good health. May the Lord Jesus Christ and Saint Alexy of God protect you. Your admirer, Archpriest John Sergiev.” This letter, received three months before the death of the priest, was like a last testament for me. The wish for “the abundant gift of the living word” gave me courage to speak more often in church and inspired me to write a spiritual diary following his example. As for Hierodeacon Meletius, whom I accepted into the Chudov Monastery, he really did not cause any trouble for the monastery, since a few months later, having gone to his homeland, he died. I thank the Lord, who allowed me to see and know Father John of Kronstadt at a time when I was still young and needed spiritual support and a living example. Using the example of Father John, I saw firsthand how close an altar server is to God and how irresistible his influence on the people can be. Frankly, the priest with his prayerful inspiration had a strong effect on me, and I think also on many, especially during the celebration of the Divine Liturgy. Every shepherd ask yourself: are you always filled with reverent feelings, do you always contemplate the Heavenly? Father John was certainly imbued with all this, which was noticeable even from the outside. Serving with the priest was a great consolation. To receive communion from his hands meant to receive the highest joy. And it was necessary to hurry so as not to lose the opportunity to partake of the Heavenly Meal with the great shepherd. And if long fasting and great abstinence are usually required, then during his service the entire center of gravity lay in spiritual inspiration, in spiritual freedom. This is the property of God’s grace - to be poured out not on external righteousness, but on a humble believing heart, repentant and loving the Lord. Yes, happy is the one who knew Father John and had the opportunity to enter into prayerful communication with him. He made an irresistible impression. This truly was the bridegroom of the Gospel (Matthew 9:15; Luke 5:34–35): it was so easy and joyful to breathe in his presence! You will see the priest, serve the liturgy together and stock up on the fire of pastoral zeal for a more or less long time; it begins to fade away - you will rush to it again and spiritually perk up. Father John's influence on pastors was so great that it gave rise to a desire in some to imitate him. However, in matters of the spirit, copying alone is not enough. Here we also need sincerity and personal feat, which was lacking in many, and therefore the activity of such people was reduced to zero. What was the strength of the Kronstadt shepherd? Some explain it by the good character, friendliness and sociability of the priest - but you never know there are such people in the world, but their fame does not spread. Others see the reason for the same in his generous charity, encouraged in our time, when they are looking for an active rather than contemplative Christianity. We also have no shortage of benefactors who donate millions, but who are they especially known to? Finally, still others see in Father John the presence of vital magnetism, which had an irresistible effect on everyone he met. But why are all hypnotists infamous? These are the explanations of the sages of this age. The clergy say that the reason for the influence of Father John must be sought in his deep faith, love, devotion to Orthodoxy, in a sincere attitude towards shepherding and personal holiness. Yes, but the above only attracts the grace of God, which, in fact, makes a person great - this is where we need to look for the key to his charm. Grace glorified the Kronstadt shepherd and attracted the hearts of many to him. From this side, he was not an ordinary person, but a miracle of God, a spiritual vessel filled with many gifts, who had the right to say: “I can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:13). The priest himself, when they asked him how he achieved such fame, usually said: “I have nothing else but the grace of the priesthood, which every priest receives at his ordination; warm it up and you will accomplish even greater and more glorious things.” So, blessed by the grace of God, Father John, first of all, possessed exceptional faith. We are only approaching it, we only want to have it, but it does not warm the heart, does not completely occupy the mind and, as they say, “slides” into us. Father John, without any doubt or hesitation, believed in the Savior and in the Holy Gospel: faith was his native and eternal element, true knowledge, and not simple cold knowledge. He thought and spoke about everything related to the Divine not as something extraneous, outside his consciousness, but as something personally experienced and seen, he spoke as an eyewitness. Father John was saturated with faith in Christ, like a sponge is saturated with water, and therefore could boldly speak with the Apostle: "... it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. And the life that I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me" (Gal. 2:20). Here are the outpourings of his soul, recorded in abundance in his diary, testifying to his deep faith: “The Holy Trinity, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit for me and for everyone - breath and light, life, strength, justification, wisdom, holiness, all wealth, help, healing from all diseases, prayer fire, source of tenderness, preservation, security, every good... Does your heart beat with joy and trembling when remembering and pronouncing the most holy Name of the uncreated and all-creating, All-Good and All-Blessed Trinity, the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit? O most wonderful Name! O beautiful, essential and eternal Trinity, who gave ineffable beauty to the entire created spiritual and material world!.. The only and Only Begotten Son is only the Son of God, and the only life-giving Spirit is the Spirit of God... Glory to You, Lord, who revealed to us the secret of the Holy Trinity, more fittingly Amen.” The second thing that attracted Father John to grace was his selfless love for God and his neighbors. "The mind cannot marvel at how good, life-giving and omnipotent the Creator and Artist of their Lord God is! How the desire is kindled to love Him, to kiss His creative hand, to revere Him, to worship Him, to glorify Him, like the three youths in the furnace of Babylon! O my Creator! All creatures, no matter how many there are, all raise my gaze to You as the Creator cheerfulness” 3 . One could especially observe the power of the priest’s love for God during his celebration of the Divine Liturgy. After the Transubstantiation of the Holy Gifts, when the Lamb of God Himself reclines on the throne, taking away the sins of the world, Father John could not take his eyes off Him, filled with grace-filled tears of thanksgiving. One fellow priest at the cathedral says that Father John leaned close and lovingly over the Lamb, wept and spiritually rejoiced, looking at Him; At that time he was like a child who caresses his mother, confiding in her his childhood joys and sorrows, knowing that his own mother would listen to him and would not drive him away. It is impossible to convey all the heavenly beauty of the described moment, which had a charming effect on the heart of every believer. For our part, we were happy to see Father John in precisely such a state of prayer, when we involuntarily thought: “How the priest loves the Lord, what a holy, dear he is!..” The third thing that Father John had was his unshakable devotion to the Holy Church and its statutes. There are many Orthodox people, but there are few who selflessly love their mother, the Holy Church. Father John never reproached her for anything, completely obeyed her and always enjoyed the spiritual wealth hidden in her worship, sacraments, and rituals. "Brothers, friends! - he said. - Love the Church: in the Church - your life or your living water, flowing with an unceasing spring from the ever-flowing source of the Holy Spirit - your peace, your cleansing, sanctification, healing, enlightenment, your strength, help, your glory, in it are all the highest, eternal interests of man. Oh, what a blessing the Church! Glory to the Lord of the Church, pouring out His gifts on it in immeasurable multitude! Oh, believe, believe not only in words, but in deeds in the Holy, Catholic, Apostolic Church...” 4. Next we must talk about the pastoral zeal of Father John. Who doesn’t know how he went down into basements and dens, looking for unfortunate and poor people? Who has not read about his countless long and difficult trips across Russia to the sick and those seeking spiritual consolation? Who was not amazed by his construction of monasteries and various charitable institutions? It is difficult to describe how diverse and in what forms the activities of Father John were manifested. Living and working for his neighbors, leading them to God, to salvation, was the goal of his entire life; in this regard, he did not take into account either his peace, or family, or other circumstances. The priest looked at shepherding as a task entrusted to him by the Lord God Himself, which he had no right to refuse or evade. Even at the beginning of his priesthood, the priest’s wife noticed that he was completely forgetting his family and home, but Father John answered: “Happy families, Lisa, are enough without us, but you and I will devote ourselves to serving God.” When the family expressed fear that the priest’s generosity might leave them in extreme need, he gave the following arguments: “I’m a priest, what’s wrong with that? That means there’s nothing to say – I don’t belong to myself, but to others.” A special type of service of Father John to his neighbors must be recognized as his daily celebration of the Divine Liturgy, at which he called everyone to repentance and communion. The Savior's testament to partake of His Most Pure Body and Blood for Eternal Life, unfortunately, has now fallen into oblivion and is often desecrated. Father John revived and restored this covenant of Christ. A voice was heard from Kronstadt: “With the fear of God and faith, approach the Chalice,” approach not only mentally, as it was before, but for an actual, real union with the Savior in the Holy Mysteries. Full of love, Father John could not bear the cold attitude of the believers towards such a great Sacrament. He longed for the salvation of his spiritual children, and therefore wanted them to always receive the most dear, the most precious, the most necessary, namely: Holy Communion. It remains to be said about the personal holiness of Father John. In his mood and life, he was a righteous man, which he achieved through deep attention to himself, the constant cleansing of his heart from all filth of the flesh and spirit. Witnesses of such internal work of the priest are now his diaries. Writing down every day all the experiences of the soul, both grace-filled and sinful, he thanked the Lord for all good things, and strenuously fought against evil and took care to blot it out through self-reproach, prayer and secret repentance. In the latter, Father John acquired extraordinary mobility: every unkind feeling, every bad thought was certainly accompanied by contrition and an appeal to the Lord for forgiveness and mercy. And for such a free and constant confession, the Savior gladdened the heart of the great shepherd, filled it with peace, consolation, or, as the priest himself put it, “space,” as a result of which the dominant state of Father John was cheerfulness of spirit and constant freshness of physical strength. Having learned from experience the great significance of secret repentance in the matter of moral creation, he advised others who were zealous for piety to resort to the same. Yes, Father John had amazing attentiveness to his inner state: he attached importance to everything, tried to comprehend and evaluate everything from the spiritual side. If you read the rule, you delve deeply into every word, which is why in its instructions we find many notes like the following: the expression “keep my damned soul” is underlined, and in the margins it is written: “Indeed, how damned I am.” Whether he happened to be among nature, to see the starry sky, the sunset, the sea, mountains, meadows, a red flower, his gaze was immediately transferred to the Creator of the world - God, whose creative right hand he contemplated in all His deeds. If he dreamed of anything, he remembered that too. Father John spent such an inner life not for a year or two, but for more than half a century, and achieved a high spiritual dispensation - holiness, which so greatly amazed everyone who had the good fortune to meet and pray with him. The very appearance of Father John was special, somehow charming, involuntarily endearing everyone’s hearts to him: the sky was reflected in his eyes, compassion for people was in his face, and the desire to help everyone was in his manner. It is not surprising that all those who were sick, suffering in soul and body, were drawn to him. We will give at least one of the countless examples. Someone who had completely lost his way, who had completely ruined his health through drunkenness, was walking through St. Petersburg past the station and noticed a crowd rushing towards the approaching train. Simple curiosity made him ask: “Where are people in such a hurry?” They told him: “Father John of Kronstadt should arrive now.” “These eccentrics,” he thought, “it’s worth pushing around like that, and what’s so special about it? But by the way, I’ll go and look at this priest, they’re talking a lot about him.” Coming... The priest, despite the surrounding ring of those greeting him, pays attention to the approaching one, boldly crosses him and lovingly says to him: “May the Lord bless you and may He help you to set your sights on the good path, my friend. Apparently, you are suffering a lot!” From such inspired words of the great shepherd, the power of grace, like an electric spark, passes through the entire being of the unfortunate person. Stepping aside, he felt that his heart was full of tenderness and affection for Father John. "And in fact," a thought involuntarily flashed in his mind, "how difficult it is for me to live, to what lowness I have reached, I have become worse than cattle. Is it really possible to rise? How good it would be! Father John wished this for me, and how kind he is, he took pity on me, I will certainly go to him!" And then he goes to Kronstadt, confesses, partakes of the Holy Mysteries and, with God’s help, gradually recovers morally. Speaking about Father John, I cannot help but remember with a kind word his clerk Vera Ivanovna Pertsova, later nun John, who has now passed away. For many years, out of holy love, she selflessly served the great shepherd. After graduating from high school, Vera Ivanovna began to seek spiritual communication with her father, but even approaching this lamp, always surrounded by people, was not so easy; then she decided to patiently follow Father John from afar and, as they say, not take her eyes off him. In Kronstadt, she sometimes had to walk for hours near her father’s house just to see his shadow in the window even for a minute, and if she succeeded, her jubilation knew no bounds. Father John himself once in the church drew attention to such a zealous pilgrim, ordered her to go get a book, then he entrusted Vera Ivanovna with copying the diary and, finally, took her to work as a clerk. She carried out this obedience until the priest’s death and was his constant companion when traveling. Treasuring the trust of the holy shepherd, Vera Ivanovna served him with all her might and once, while protecting his peace, she almost lost her hand. It happened like this: at the station, people were pouring into the carriage, where the priest, who was leaving for a trip, entered. Vera Ivanovna was blocking the entrance. Someone, in a fit of indignation, slammed the door, pinching her fingers. But she suffered much more moral suffering because of the same devotion. Dissatisfied admirers of Father John were very jealous of Vera Ivanovna’s closeness to him and showered her with slander and false denunciations. Father John, like a visionary, knowing the good mood of his clerk, did not pay attention to her “well-wishers” and supported the faithful worker in every possible way. When I was visiting Vaulovo, the priest made it clear, among other things, that after his death Vera Ivanovna would need my support. Turning to her, he said: “Take care of Father Arseny, he will be useful to you later.” And so it happened: after the death of the great shepherd, abandoned by everyone, she came to Moscow. I had to work hard to arrange it, but it was not easy, in view of the human malice that surrounded it. Besides, I didn’t have much weight and couldn’t help in any way; Even in the women’s monasteries he did not meet with sympathy, despite the fact that Metropolitans Vladimir and Macarius gave Vera Ivanovna their recommendations. Only the abbess of the Moscow Novodevichy Convent, Leonida, responded to my request: she assigned her to her monastery, allowing her to take the mantle with the name of Joanna. Unfortunately, she did not have much time left to live, as she developed consumption due to troubles and hardships. Sent for treatment to the Caucasus at the Komansky Monastery of St. John Chrysostom as a treasurer, she not only did not recover here, but because of the damp terrain her health was completely ruined. Barely alive, Vera Ivanovna returned to the Novodevichy Convent, where she soon rested peacefully in the Lord, having in front of her a portrait of Father John, which she looked at prayerfully until her last breath. By order of the abbess, Leonidas buried her with honor. I performed her funeral service in the cathedral in full light, in the presence of many sisters and the singing of the entire monastery choir. I consider it my duty to always remember Vera Ivanovna, who made it easier for me to access Father John. From her words and what I know myself, I convey the following about the great Kronstadt shepherd. In his adolescence, Father John had difficulty teaching, but a child’s tearful prayer to the Lord opened his mind, helped him complete the Seminary course first and enter the St. Petersburg Academy on public account. In his youth, the priest saw in a dream a church into which someone led him. When he was appointed a priest in Kronstadt, entering St. Andrew's Cathedral for the first time, he was extremely amazed that it was the latter that he had dreamed about. Initial life in Kronstadt was not conducive to the pastoral work of Father John. The large family he entered and the cramped apartment must have, apparently, interfered with spiritual concentration, but even in such an environment the priest managed to develop a mind of God: when it was difficult for him to pray, he went out of town to contemplate the Lord in solitude among nature. From the first steps of his pastorate, Father John set the task of celebrating the Divine Liturgy daily, but since the local clergy consisted of several priests, it was difficult to fulfill his desire. He had to beg permission to serve, to which not all his brethren agreed. Only by replacing the next one did the priest feel free. In his mood, the priest was always inclined towards spiritual contemplation. While still young, when he went to church and returned from there, he turned his gaze to heaven and raised his hands as if in prayer. The crowd, unaccustomed to such phenomena, was ready to consider the new priest abnormal. This view of the priest almost became established even among his fellow cathedral members. His living activity at the beginning of his pastorate seemed so unusual and new that the highest spiritual authorities repeatedly called the priest for explanations and were ready to impose restrictions on him, but the Lord Himself protected His chosen one from unjust and unnecessary repressions, gradually bringing all those attacking to the consciousness of the righteousness of the Kronstadt lamp. Sometimes Father John was overcome by spiritual distress, as he himself explained, due to the withdrawal of God’s grace, but then he did not weaken in spirit, but continued to watch and pray like this: “You, Lord, forsake me for my sins, but I will not leave You, but will always cry out for mercy.” During the course of his life, Father John experienced a lot of persecution and annoyance from his imaginary admirers, who inflicted many insults on him in the church, but as a true shepherd, who always had even, prayerful, holy care for people, he emerged unsullied from all the machinations of the devil, erected against him through people. After celebrating the Divine Liturgy, Father John loved to retire to read the Holy Gospel and devote himself to the thought of God. And this is understandable: his mind and heart were always directed to the Heavenly, and therefore after receiving the Life-giving Mysteries of Christ, when he entered into real unity with the Lord, he especially did not want to be deprived of the spiritual fruits of Holy Communion - peace, joy and bliss, so easily plundered by the vanity of the world. Often Father John read and explained the word of God to his loved ones, which most often happened while traveling on a ship. “Blessed are those moments,” Mother John told me, holding the Book of the Belly in her hands. “Father’s interpretations were simple, imbued with deep faith and love for the Lord. My heart beat strongly then with spiritual delight and consolation.” Father slept in summer and winter with the window open, as he loved fresh air, and if he felt cold, he dressed warmly, even in a fur coat. When going to bed, he did not take off his cassock, as if keeping himself always ready to meet the Heavenly Bridegroom, who could come at any time; At night he went for a walk to enjoy the silence and admire the starry sky. In general, Father John was very fond of nature and especially plants: he would stop over some flower and think for a long, long time, kissing the creative right hand of God in it. From everything around him, he constantly took for himself a reason or theme for contemplation of God. Father John treated the money and gifts he brought differently: he refused some, did not value others, quickly passing them on to others, and was obviously interested in some, those that brought him comfort and joy, and all this regardless of their value. During Great Lent, in all likelihood, the priest almost always felt unwell from extreme labor, so that one had to fear even for his health and life. But the Lord helped him. The Holy Pentecost passed, and at Easter the priest recovered and flourished. Father John united everyone with his love; he did not suffer from narrow-class views. Priests and monks, noble and simple, rich and poor, were equally drawn to him. It was a pleasure to serve with him, since then the throne of God was surrounded by the monks and parishioners of the shepherd, allowing them to feel that Christ equally accepted everyone into His fatherly embrace. Himself from the white clergy, the priest deeply valued monasticism and was the builder of many women's monasteries, hence it is not surprising that he gave advice on joining monasticism. One day during Lent, Father John fell seriously ill: the doctors prescribed fast food for him. Then he asked his mother if she would bless him for this, and received the following answer: “It is better to die, but do not violate the rules of the Holy Church.” Father was often asked (about Tolstoy) whether he could repent?.. He said: “No; because he is guilty of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit,” and predicted his imminent death, which actually happened. Father John made it a rule to speak a lesson at each Liturgy, having thought it over in advance and sometimes written it down. When going out to the pulpit, he certainly prayed: “Lord, help me to say a word for the benefit of those listening.” Father always strived to have a holy, serious attitude towards God and loved ones. We often talk superficially about objects of faith, and we are insincere and unkind towards people; The Kronstadt lamp burned in spirit towards the Lord, and saw His image in man, and therefore valued, respected and loved everyone. Father John had the gift of tears, which were often observed in him during the Divine Liturgy, secret prayerful repentance and spiritual contemplation. These tears, as he said, did not harm his vision. “You, Lord, have arranged that I am not afraid to shed tears of repentance and tenderness before You, for they do not weaken, but cleanse and strengthen my vision. The tears of this world - from worldly sadness - weaken and completely blind a person who cries a lot, but tears of grace produce a nasty effect. For this and for all good things - glory to God” 5. Father often in his sermons pointed to the imminent Coming of the Savior, expected it and felt how nature itself was preparing for this great moment. He mainly paid attention to the fire with which the world would be destroyed, just as the ancient one was destroyed by water. “Every time,” he said, “I look at fire and especially at its raging element during fires and other cases, I think: the element is always ready and only awaits the command of the Creator of the universe to perform its task - to destroy everything on earth, along with people, their iniquities and deeds.” And here is another similar entry: "When the waters of the globe lose their balance with the underground fire and the fire overpowers the water element, which is constantly decreasing, then the fiery flood predicted in the Holy Scriptures and especially in the letter of the Apostle Peter will occur, and the Second Glorious Coming of the Lord and the judgment of the whole world will come. By that time, morals will be extremely corrupted. Believe that the Second Coming of the Lord Jesus Christ with glory will be at doors” 6 . Father John, in his teachings, conversations and diaries, often reminded that sin and lawlessness torment a person, instill in him melancholy, torment of conscience, and vice versa, freedom from passions invigorates the heart and refreshes the entire body. The spiritual experience of the priest, who vigilantly fought against the sinful nature, was reflected here. Father John loved to talk about the space of the heart, which he himself constantly sought and asked from the Lord. And he defined it this way: this is a state of mind when neither despondency, nor boredom, nor fear, nor any other passions oppress you. It is open to the perception of spiritual benefits and is overflowing with them. Opposite to it is spiritual distress, which comes from all kinds of defilement and the removal of God’s grace from us. Father John praised simplicity, pointing out that the Lord Himself is a Simple Being. Faith, hard work, courtesy, humility, kindness, quietness, humility, obedience - all this, the priest explained, grows on the soil of a simple soul. Father John strived for perfection in everything. Thus, he recognized only deep heartfelt prayer, and considered hasty and scattered prayer to be mere beating of the air. He attached meaning to every word he said, so he never said anything unnecessary. Human speech, the great shepherd explained, is an image of the word of God, and as such it must be holy and just. Hence there should be no contradiction between word and deed: what is said and promised should be fulfilled. He looked at all members of the body as pure creations that should excite only sublime feelings. Father John translated everything earthly into the sacred, the lofty, and tried in every possible way, so to speak, to “dissolve into the heavenly.” For him, everywhere and in everything there was only God; his whole life, all the strength of his soul were directed towards this. In other words, in the spiritual horizon of the priest, the earth came closer to Heaven, and his feelings were an organ for perceiving not so much external as spiritual impressions. Father John did not like to remain in debt to anyone, and especially to those who provided services to him. Before the holidays of the Nativity of Christ and Easter, they signed lists of people who were to be given so-called tips. This included telegraph operators, postmen, police officers and others. Even in the last year of his life, already sick, the priest did not forget his custom and was in a hurry to compile lists, otherwise, he said, “I won’t have time.” Having suffered an illness at the beginning of 1906, Father John, hitherto vigorous, tireless and cheerful, immediately became haggard, decrepit and began to feel a loss of strength, but did not interrupt his life’s task - the daily service of the Divine Liturgy and visiting the suffering. The last mass was celebrated by Father John on December 9, 1908. From that day on, his illness took a severe form, so that he was forced to stop receiving strangers and almost all the time he reclined in a chair with the window open. A careless departure for a walk on December 17 in the carriage of a random cab further aggravated the ill health of the lamp of God. He became completely weak and on the morning of the 19th he could no longer go out into the hallway to meet the priest with the Holy Gifts, as he did every day. In his dying days, the priest sometimes groaned, which indicated his severe suffering, he refused all medicine and drank only holy water from the spring of St. Seraphim of Sarov. The last order was made by Father John to Abbess Angelina about the consecration of the church-tomb in the Ioannovsky Monastery. The night of December 20 passed anxiously; at two o'clock in the morning his legs became paralyzed, and he apparently began to fade away. We had to hurry with the Liturgy - at four o’clock the priest arrived with the Holy Gifts. Father John could only accept the Holy Blood. After communion, he wiped his lips himself and calmed down for a while; Having then said: “It’s stuffy for me, it’s stuffy,” he fell into oblivion. The breathing became quieter... The priest who arrived began to read the canon on the outcome of the soul, and when, at the end, he approached the priest, the latter lay motionless, with his hands folded on his chest. Several more sighs were heard, and the great shepherd calmly surrendered his spirit to God. The eyes, hitherto closed, opened slightly, and clear tears appeared from them, like crystal. These were the last tears of the righteous man. The priest died at seven hours and forty minutes in the morning on December 20, 1908, in his eightieth year of birth. During his illness, he was silent and extremely serious: apparently, he was prayerfully preparing for the transition to the Upper World. Father John, after great labors in life, appeared as a truly ripe ear of corn in the field of Christ, and therefore could no longer be with us sinners. That is why his last words were: “It’s stuffy for me, it’s stuffy,” that is, it’s stuffy in this earthly vale. The priest was buried in the tomb of the Ioannovsky Monastery that he built in St. Petersburg. One of the priests who was present at the burial of Father John, who had previously been quite critical of his pastoral activities, testified in the press as follows: “When I, barely making my way through the countless crowd of people, approached the priest’s tomb, my heart was immediately conveyed the feeling that they were not praying here for the deceased, but at the shrine of the already glorified saint of God, since the church was resounding with the cries and groans of people asking all kinds of help from the deceased, which obviously reflected the spiritual instinct of the people. I experienced this to an even greater extent during the burial. The impression I received radically changed my view of the Kronstadt shepherd, whom I then appreciated, fell in love with, and now only live by his prayer.” A living ear from the spiritual field of Father John of Kronstadt. Pg., 1918. 2nd ed. pp. 2–3.^ A living ear from the spiritual field of Father John of Kronstadt. Pg., 1918. 2nd ed. P. 9.^ Thoughts on the divine service of the Orthodox Church by Archpriest John Sergiev (Kronstadt). M., 1894. P. 20.^ From death to life. St. Petersburg, 1904. P. 36.