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Saint John of the Climacus says that thoughts that are not revealed to the spiritual father come to fruition and that, on the contrary, the wounds that are opened do not spread to the bitter 23, but rather 24 are healed. From our own experience we see that man is extremely weak and powerless in spiritual struggle without the help of God. In this struggle, as St. Mark the Ascetic says, we have one mysterious Helper, hidden in us from the time of baptism - Christ, Who is invincible. He will assist us in this struggle if we not only call on Him for help, but fulfill His life-giving commandments according to our strength. Throw yourself into the hands of 26 His great mercy. Also, constantly resort to our Intercessor, the Lady Ever-Virgin Mary, often singing the church song: “There are no imams of other help, no imams of other hope, unless You, Lady, help us, we rely on You and we boast in You, for we are Your servants, let us not be ashamed” (2, part 3, p. 4). ...Despise the intimidation of the enemy, as if he is able to bring you into such a misfortune that you will allegedly reject the Crucified Lord. All these weavings of hostility, even if allowed to him, could end in some absurd opinions and unfair rumors from a person. But remember the psalm’s word in advance: I prepared myself without embarrassment... (Ps. 119:60) (2, part 3, p. 6). Confusion and bewilderment to the point of cowardice and despair. The reason for all this is your pride and your foolishness and ignorance of spiritual warfare. The enemy always does this: where a person can have spiritual benefit through a spiritual attitude, here he tries to create an obstacle, instilling in the foolish one bad thoughts and similar movements, and he does all this out of his evil envy of human benefit. You should have understood the machinations of the enemy and repentantly explained it with humility, and sometimes despised it, striving for the task at hand, and you are embarrassed to the point of cowardice, thereby comforting the enemy. Take courage in the Lord (2, part 3, p. 79). ...You should not... in any way fulfill the will of your spiritual enemies, who confuse you with all sorts of suggestions and assumptions, which you trust on the basis that it seems to you. All the mental warfare or confusion that plagues you comes from this trust in enemy suggestions, to which you attribute some meaning or probability, or which you want to catch, instead of despising them, calling on God’s help against them. The main reason for your mental warfare is your great arrogance, which is visible in everything (2, part 3, p. 9). ...Those who accept evil suggestions are robbed by mental robbers, mixing their will with them; the suggestions of these mental thieves 27 are always disordered and inconsistent with the case, according to the word of the Gospel: He who does not enter the sheepfold by the door, but climbs in elsewhere, is a thief and a robber;... A thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy (John 10: 1, 10). Saint Abba Dorotheos, explaining the machinations of the devil, writes: he is not so much unskilled in doing evil and knows that a person does not want to sin, and therefore does not instill in him any obvious sins and does not tell him: “Go commit fornication or go steal,” but he finds in us one imaginary good desire or one self-justification and thus, under the guise of good, harms. So, with plausible suggestions, he removed N. from the monastery, and he confuses you in the same way, and generally confuses you with the wishes of his will (2, part 3, p. 16). You write that your spiritual enemies have raised such a battle against you that they are preventing you from usually performing your inner prayer, making noise and hum around you, as if a whole round dance is dancing, which is why you ask me, feeble-minded, what you should do and how to act in this case. We must imitate the saints of God, as they acted in similar cases. We read in the life of Arseny the Great that he sometimes, rising from inner prayer, publicly prayed with raised hands: “Lord my God! Do not forsake me, for I have done no good before You: but help me and make me worthy to make a beginning!” This short prayer of the saint of God expresses, firstly, great humility, self-reproach, and self-abasement. Secondly, it is shown that the saint of God did not pray like that without a reason, but, apparently, he was fighting for a strict life with thoughts of exaltation from mental enemies who do not leave anyone alone, but fight everyone with whatever they can. Especially for us who are weak, we need to keep an eye on the thoughts of exaltation, which are the most harmful for us in spiritual warfare, as St. Mark the Ascetic explains: “If we cared about humility, we would have no need for punishment. Everything evil and painful that happens to us happens because of repentance. If the apostle, so that he would not become arrogant, was allowed the angel of Satan to oppress him, then how much more to us who have been exalted, Satan himself will be allowed to trample on us until we humble ourselves.” ...According to these testimonies of the saints of God, believing 28 our humility or lack thereof, or noticing the theft of exaltation, sincerely and with humility, let us repeat before the Lord the aforementioned prayer of Blessed Arseny, rising up to it when we are disturbed by our mental enemies annoying us. If, however, this prayer does not calm us down at all, then let us imitate Blessed Arseny in another action. He sometimes seated his disciples near him, complaining about the abuse of the enemy. You can sometimes sit Sister P. next to you if necessary. Let him sit next to you in prayer or standing and read some of the Gospel (2, part 3, pp. 22–23). Are there or are there not any hidden weaknesses hidden in your soul, for the sake of which your enemies are still strengthening themselves and boring you to the point of exhaustion? If you cannot find anything like that, then still pray with humility to God with the psalm words: Who will understand the Fall? Cleanse me from my secrets, and spare Thy servant from those that are alien (see Ps. 18:13). All the holy fathers have a unanimous answer and advice in such cases: in every temptation, victory is humility, self-reproach and patience, of course, while asking for help from above. Pray for this to the Queen of Heaven, and to all the saints of God in whom you have special faith, so that they will help you get rid of the delusion of demons. First of all, consider your spiritual disposition, whether you are peaceful with everyone, whether you condemn anyone (2, part 3, p. 29). Isn’t it arrogance that, having received some temporary calm from the battle, you believed that this was keeping your mind? Saint John of the Climacus says: “How far are the east from the west, so far is keeping the mind higher than keeping thoughts, and incomparably more difficult.” But you and I don’t even know how to preserve our thoughts as we should; then where will our mental preservation come from? Your calmness was not the preservation of your mind, but an obvious planting of the enemy (2, part 3, p. 9). You are worried about inappropriate carnal abuse. Where there should be spiritual benefit for you, here the enemy manages to create a temptation for you. Despise this, because the absurdity of absurdities is such a suggestion of the enemy. You write that in this struggle it seems to you that someone is standing next to you. Similar things happen when a person, during confession, either completely forgot some important sin, or did not know how to confess something as he should have. Pray to the Queen of Heaven and the Guardian Angel to help you remember and confess this. Then the worthwhile dreaming will pass. You also need to humble yourself before God and people, considering yourself worse than everyone else. Due to carnal warfare, I find it inappropriate for you to go to Moscow for treatment. This will intensify this struggle even more. It is better to suffer from illness in order to atone for your sins. This is more correct (2, part 3, p. 73). Take courage, and let your heart be strong (Ps. 26:14). In the midst of the annoying and sometimes frightening temptations of the enemy, console yourself with the apostolic words: God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond your strength, but with temptation will also give you relief (1 Cor. 10:13) and repeat this word often to strengthen yourself. Also despise the vain but evil suggestions of the enemy who threatens you with destruction. His very threats show you hope that he cannot do anything to you, covered by the mercy of God. If he could do anything, he would not threaten. The Angel of Repentance told Saint Hermas that the enemy the devil is completely powerless and cannot do anything to a person unless he voluntarily agrees first to some sin. Therefore, when the enemy bothers you with cold and nasty thoughts, run to the Lord, praying the psalm words: Lord! My persecutors have now surrounded me (Ps. 16:11). My joy, deliver me from those who surround me (Ps. 31:7) (2, part 3, p. 11). A lazy spider sits in one place, lets out a thread and waits - as soon as a fly comes across, now its head is off, but the fly is buzzing... So the enemy always stretches out his nets: as soon as anyone gets caught, now his head is off... Look, don’t be a fly, otherwise you will also buzz (1, part 1, p. 108). If the possessing spirit comes upon you, do not leave your place 29 (Eccl. 10:4). The word “possessing” refers to the tempter, our spiritual enemy, who, through the fact that man disobeyed the 30th commandment of God and listened to the evil suggestion of the enemy, became the prince of peace and the prince who rules through human obedience. Just as he deceived Adam and Eve under a plausible pretext, so now he deceives many in the same way; if he cannot seduce anyone with his own suggestions, then he tries to confuse a person and lead him into temptation through friends and acquaintances, under plausible pretexts. Remember this and try not to forget, also remember what was said in the eldership: “Sit in your cell, and your cell will teach you everything.” This is all the more fitting for you because you care about internal monasticism, since you are not quite capable of external monasticism due to your weak physique and gentle upbringing. And the Lord looks more at the heart than at the face or external actions of a person, although this is also required of those who are physically healthy. However, even those who are weak in health, but are compelled by the word of the Gospel, even external work brings great benefit if they go through it without complaint. Humility is necessary and useful and necessary for everyone, both the strong and especially the weak. Humility can replace external labors. And without humility, even great deeds cannot bring benefit (2, part 1, p. 69). ...You write that you and N. have some kind of problem, it seems to you that she has changed a lot from before, and it seems to her that you have changed in your treatment, then you yourself say that, at least occasionally, strong indignation and irritation comes over you. This is a temptation for both of you from the enemy, who does not tolerate, if where peace and mutual love are established, especially where people care primarily about the feat of prayer, then the enemy tries to install anger on both sides, which makes a person incapable not only of prayer, but also of any good deed. So, watch yourself 31, calling on God's all-powerful help, arm yourself against the machinations of the enemy, who seeks to inflict spiritual vanity on you, and try in every possible way to refrain from an angry disposition, remembering the apostolic word: Try to have peace with everyone and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord (Heb. 12, 14) (2, part 3, p. 20). You write that at times you become very weak, to the point of cowardice, and sometimes even to despair. Know that the main machinations of the enemy are two: to fight a Christian either with arrogance and conceit, or with cowardice and despair. Saint Climacus writes that one skilled ascetic repelled the machinations of the enemy with their own weapons. When they brought him to despair, he said to himself and to his enemies: “How you praised me not so long ago and brought me into arrogance,” and through this he reflected the evil intent of the enemy. If the enemies again switched to the other side and began to praise and give reasons for arrogance and conceit, then the elder would answer: “How you brought me to despair not so long ago. After all, this contradicts one another.” And thus this ascetic, with the help of God, repelled the machinations of the enemy with their own weapons, using one against the other in good time. Also, sometimes you have the thought of rebelling courageously against your enemies, and you ask, is this fair? The opposite of this, cowardice, shows that it is unfair. It is not our place to rebel against evil enemies, but rather, most likely, with humility, always resort to the help and intercession of the divine, calling on the Lord Himself and His Most Pure Mother for help, as the holy Climacus advises: “In the name of Jesus, repel the warriors” (2, part 3, p. 8). Although the desire to move to A. does not leave you, sometimes the thought contradicts you, and a secret suggestion in the heart says that this intention and desire is empty. You yourself write that the suggestion is very quiet and calm, but, on the contrary, when the desire to leave the monastery flares up in you, you feel bitterness, darkness, memory and hatred of your neighbors and laziness towards prayer. Understand from this that this desire, on the other hand, is the suggestion of enemies and haters of the human race, seeking our eternal destruction. Saint Gregory of Sinaite writes: “A lot of reasoning is required to recognize the difference between good and evil... The essence of the actions of grace is revealed, which the demon, although transformed, cannot give: neither meekness, nor quietness, nor humility, nor hatred of the world, nor quenches sweetness and passion - this is the essence of the actions of grace. The action of demons is zeal 32, and arrogance, and insurance 33, and all evil” (2, part 3, p. 10). Saint Mark the Ascetic says in his spiritual law: “The root of lust is the love of human praise and glory.” Lust intensifies, as other holy fathers say, when a person loves bodily peace (in food, drink and sleep) and especially when he does not keep his eyes from tempting objects (2, part 2, p. 63). ...You are sick, but you hardly understand the cause of your illness. Frustration comes from frustration. Although you write in general about passion, it is not clear, keeping silent, how you yourself lit a fire in your oak grove, not shying away from the reasons, but arbitrarily attracting them. Take a good look at yourself. It is dangerous to deceive yourself. I give you a reason to examine yourself; not everyone is confused, it’s time to get down to business in a real way (2, part 2, p. 73). What about those who seem involuntarily disturbed and disturbed by dislike and malice, envy and hatred, or are confused by unbelief? First of all, we must pay attention to the causes of these passions and use decent spiritual healing against these causes. The reason for unbelief is the love of earthly glory, as the Lord Himself testifies in the Holy Gospel: How can you believe when you receive glory from each other, but do not seek the glory that is from the One God? (John 5:44). But envy, anger, and hatred come from pride and lack of love for one’s neighbors. Medicine against these passions: firstly, a humble and sincere awareness of one’s weakness before God and the spiritual father; secondly, the gospel compulsion not to act on the attraction of these passions, but to do the opposite to them; the third medicine is to seek in everything only the glory of God and from God; The fourth healing is humbly asking for God's help... not doubting, but believing that what is impossible for people is possible from God. The fifth remedy is self-reproach, i.e. in every unpleasant and sorrowful case or circumstance, we must place the blame on ourselves, and not on others, that we did not know how to act as we should and from this came such trouble and such sorrow, which we deserve, by God’s permission, for our negligence, for our arrogance and for our sins, former and new (2, part 2, p. 37). You describe the abuse that you have been experiencing for six months, and you wonder why such strong abuse was allowed to you. You ask: have you now angered God again with something, mortally sinned? Now at least she hasn’t sinned, but she must endure for old sins. Mary of Egypt struggled with passions like beasts in the desert for 17 years. You say: maybe this is the common path of people who have sinned a lot? Indeed, this is a common path, but on this common path each person experiences more or less, this or that, according to his own structure and his feelings. I'll tell you an example. In damp, cold weather, several people walk along the same road. A healthy person will get cold, and that’s all. Those who are in weaker health will catch a cold, a runny nose, and a headache. But a sick person will become completely ill from something that is harmless to a healthy person. So understand what you are asking about: the kind of abuse you describe (for example, what you experience while standing in church) is a sign of deep weakness. This warfare is made easier by humility, and intensified by arrogance and pride (2, part 3, p. 94–95). In the letter... you again ask why the strong abuse was allowed to you, for sins or for cleansing, etc. etc. That is, you are doing different twists: is it possible to accept this abuse in such a way that you don’t have to mentally come to terms with it? Meanwhile, all this is allowed, by the way, precisely for the humility of our sublime wisdom; it’s simpler and shorter to say, for pride and for sins (2, part 3, p. 98). What about those who suffer from ill-will towards their neighbors, envy and condemnation and contempt? Such people should take care to correct their character. And this correction requires, firstly, humble and sincere consciousness and repentance before God and the spiritual father; and secondly, the evangelical compulsion to restrain your tongue and thoughts from blaming others... and thirdly, this correction requires diligent and humble prayer, in the words of the akathist: “Lord! You healed the money-loving soul of Zacchaeus the publican, heal my accursed soul from ill will and envy, condemnation and remembrance” (2, part 2, p. 44). Say the Jesus Prayer against lustful temptations, and in angry temptations, pray for the one for whom you are grieving. Save, Lord, and have mercy on such and such and with her holy prayers, help me, a cursed and sinner (2, part 2, p. 91). Saint Climacus says that for those who have entered the monastery, the first and main charm of the enemy is self-rule, self-confidence and arbitrariness. Let each of you apply this to yourself, leaving everyone else to act as they please and as they please; each of you will give an answer to God about himself. Next, Saint Climacus exposes three main passions that fight those in obedience: gluttony, anger and carnal lust. The latter receive strength from the former, lust is kindled from gluttony and bodily rest, and anger is caused by gluttony and bodily peace. This entire evil council is born and comes from pride and a proud disposition of the soul. Therefore, the Lord commands in the Gospel to deny oneself and humble oneself. By forcing oneself and humility one attracts the mercy and help of God, with which a person is strong to evade evil and do good. If, following the example of the ancient ascetics, we cannot fast, then with humility and self-reproach, let us be forced to at least moderate and appropriate abstinence in food and drink. Let us do the same with regard to sleep and conversations and other things. In general, let us remember the words of the Apostle: If we live in the Spirit, then we must walk in the Spirit. Let us not be vain, irritate each other, envy each other (Gal. 5:25-26). Envy is the most harmful thing. Saint Isaac the Syrian writes that he who acquired envy found the devil with it. Whoever allows the devil to his soul, what confusion, rebellion and sedition will he not cause? May the Lord deliver us from this destructive passion, as well as from the condemnation of others, which makes us hypocrites before God (2, part 2, pp. 99–100). ...You write that for a long time it did not occur to you and there was no desire to ask the Queen of Heaven for intercession in your battles, and it seems to you that asking for deliverance from the struggle means abandoning the monastic cross... How many times was it written to you that in your battle you should prayerfully turn to the Lord, ask for His omnipotent help and the intercession of our Most Holy Lady Theotokos, and you write that you had no desire to ask the Queen Heavenly. They tell you to ask for God’s help, but you talk about getting rid of the struggle. Don’t ask the Lord for deliverance from the struggle, but for help and courageous patience. Cry out to the Lord and the Mother of God with humility, with a deep consciousness of your weakness, your rotten dispensation, leaving behind high-minded thoughts about your imaginary love for God, then the Lord is strong to help you and give you relief according to your humility (2, part 3, p. 96). You expressed desire and at the same time bewilderment as to why the Lord does not seem to hear your prayers regarding cleansing from passions. To your bewilderment, I will give you an example. In the spring, a gardener first completely clears the ground of all bad grass, then plants plants in clean soil; but the bad grass penetrates again, and the gardener must carefully weed and clear the plants of the bad grass several times for almost the whole summer until the garden plants are completely strengthened. Our body is created from the same earth, and no matter how much a person tries to cleanse himself of passions, passions again penetrate like bad grass. Let us again turn to the garden, which, if poorly fenced, then goats and pigs damage the plant. And birds can fly over the fence. The gardener must monitor all this and preserve the plant. And a Christian must preserve spiritual fruits from mental birds, which sometimes transform into other animals. It was said to our forefather: By the sweat of your face you will eat bread until you return to the land from which you were taken (Gen. 3:19) (2, part 3, p. 116). Regarding obstacles and laziness in prayer, as well as other spiritual struggles, always remember the word of the Gospel that the Kingdom of Heaven is taken by force, and those who use force take it away (Matthew 11:12). Do not be at all surprised that you feel movements and feelings in yourself that are contrary to gospel love and simplicity. Not everyone has dispassion, and if anyone is given it, it is through much struggle and great feat; more for humility. And we who are weak need, for our encouragement and consolation, to remember and adhere to the psalm’s word: You grew like grass, and all those who do iniquity appeared to disappear into the age of the century (Ps. 91:8), that is, when we feel in ourselves contrary feelings and movements or thoughts, we must consume them by self-reproach and calling on God’s help (16, p. 238). If the boss's anger flares up against you, then do not leave your place. You might be interested in: