Elderly conversations of the Venerable Leo of Optina, recorded by his spiritual children

Contents Stories of a monk of the Tikhon Monastery, Kaluga diocese, St. A story of a novice of the Optina Monastery Alexei Ivanov (Vasiliev) A story of Alexander Smirnov Stories of other Optina brethren A story of Peter Ivanov, a monk of the monastery A story of Father Moses, a former Optina hieromonk Three stories of the Optina elder Hieroschemamonk Ambrose and together with other old-timer monks, the Kiev-Pechersk hieroschemamonk Anthony spoke about himself. The confessor of the Tikhon Hermitage, hieroschemamonk Ephraim, spoke about himself Venerable Leo of Optina is the founder of the Optina eldership. Together with six disciples, among whom was the future great saint Ignatius (Brianchaninov), the Monk Leo moved to Optina in 1829. The Lord appointed His saint to Optina to cultivate, plant and preserve the image of monastic life that had already been forgotten in Russia - the grace-filled eldership. Our book publishes two conversations of the Venerable Elder Leo with his closest students - Father Pavel Tambovtsev and Alexei Polikarpovich Bochkov. Stories of a monk of the Tikhon Hermitage, Kaluga diocese, S. Monk S., a former student of the elder Father Leonid, told the following about himself: “When I lived at home, many from our village came to Optina Pustyn and, having been privileged to hear wise Christian instructions from Father Leonid, glorified him in conversations with each other. I also wanted to see the priest, and if he was accepted into the monastery, then to stay with him. I found a friend from our own village, a man who knew a little literacy, but thought a lot about himself. Walking along the road with him, I often reminded him of Father Leonid, saying: “Something, will the elder advise us to go to the monastery or not?” To which my friend answered proudly: “What is his advice? I myself can read and write. Finally we come to Father Leonid, who greeted us jokingly and affectionately. After living for several days, we began to ask the priest for his blessing so that we could stay in the monastery. But the elder blessed me to stay, and told my friend to go to the village. “I don’t advise him,” he said, “to go to a monastery.” Offended by this, my companion began to grumble at the old man, saying: “What an old man he is! I don’t advise you, brother, to listen to him.” But I, despite his proud advice, with my father’s blessing, remained in the monastery, and my friend went to the village and, not listening to the elder’s advice, still went to the monastery. Lived in one monastery for a while; I saw my weakness, how passions war and attack a lonely fighter who has no help from the spiritual advice of an experienced elder; moved to another monastery - he hoped to find something better for himself there. But our passions are with us everywhere. Finally he left the monastery, having lost his zeal for monastic life. Afterwards I heard that he got married. This is what his stupid pride brought him to: “What is the old man? I myself know how to read and write.” Now I will talk about myself. Every day I went to the elder, talked about my evil thoughts and passions; but soon he lost this vigilance about his soul. At first I began to hide from the elder the most unimportant, in my opinion, thoughts; then he lost faith in the elder and zeal to live in the holy monastery; began to think about rural life and marriage. Finally, I come to the elder with hypocritical devotion and ask him to go home for a short time. But my hypocrisy did not hide from the perspicacious old man. With a grinning face and wagging his finger, he says: “Look, brother, aren’t you deceiving me?” I began to justify myself: “No, father, I’ll just see my brother and come back immediately.” Finally the elder said: “Go, brother, with God; you’ll run here when you don’t want to stay now.” I left Optina Pustyn with joy, with the intention that I would never return. So I got bored with the initial tediousness about saving my soul. But the opposite of my thought happened, according to the elder’s prediction. I came home to my village and began to do ordinary rural work. At this time, in our village, a peasant’s horse disappeared. He began to suspect the peasant, who had previously been noticed in horse stealing, and was not mistaken in his guess, but there was no clear evidence - the horse was resold from hand to hand. So he couldn’t do anything with the guilty one. One day this peasant was driving from another village from a holiday, having drunk quite a bit; I accidentally met the thief of my horse in a copse and, in a fit of anger, rushed at him, began to beat him cruelly and killed the unfortunate man. That night I happened to be guarding the horses in the field. The next day, the villagers informed the police officer that a peasant from our village was lying on the road, killed by someone unknown. The official has arrived. The interrogations began: who was where at that time. One woman pointed out to me that at that time at night I was grazing horses in the field. They started interrogating me. I just said the words that I don’t know. But our peasants asked the chief to lock me up and starve me. They locked me in a closet and didn’t give me anything to drink or eat for three days. How during these three days I repented that I had not listened to the good advice of the perspicacious old man, and with all my heart I prayed to the Lord to save me from trouble for the prayers of the old man, whom I had deceived! Finally, tired of hunger, I was taken out for further interrogations. Our men offered the police officer the most severe first torture - to heat a frying pan and put me on it, and assured the police officer: “He will be sorry if you do that.” I did not expect to endure this cruelty and decided to falsely slander myself. But for the prayers of the elder, the Lord delivered me. The clerk tells the bailiff: “You will be held accountable for this if you do this—this is completely against state laws.” They left me. They started interrogating others. They reached the culprit, who got his words mixed up and soon confessed to his crime. I, rejoicing at my deliverance, immediately hurried to go to Optina Pustyn. As soon as Father Leonid saw me, he blessed me with a loving smile and said: “Ah, Aryasina 1, he has come! What was it like visiting? Tell us." I told the priest everything: my previous intentions not to live in the monastery, and the attack that happened at home for a crime. From then on, I was afraid to hide the slightest thought from the elder. When I lived in the monastery for a while, the elder began to send me to his village: “Go,” he said, “go home for a short time and come back here again.” I didn’t want to go, and I asked my father not to send me. But the priest certainly ordered to go. I came to my homeland and found my brother insane from excessive drinking of wine. And the peasants of our village just wanted, the next day of my arrival, to send for me to the monastery so that I could come and manage the farm in my brother’s place. What sorrow! I don't want to stay in the world. I don't know what to do. Finally the idea came to me to go with my brother to St. Mitrophan of Voronezh. Our peasants did not prevent this. We arrived in Voronezh and sang a prayer service to the saint of God. My brother felt better. The next day they again asked to serve a prayer service, and after the prayer service the brother completely recovered his sanity. I brought him home completely healthy. Everyone was surprised by this change. I was also surprised then by the priest’s insight, how he foresaw and predicted both of my trips to my homeland. After that, I left my brother to live in peace, and I hastened to return to the elder and was already walking towards him with faith and filial devotion. I also noticed when I was living in a monastery: sometimes I was attacked by melancholy, despondency, and my thoughts cruelly fought me. You would go to the priest to console yourself in your sorrows, and upon entering his cell, everything would instantly disappear, and you would suddenly feel peace and joy in your heart. Father will ask: “Why did you come?” And you don’t even know what to say. The priest will take some oil from the lamp and bless you, and you will leave his cell with heartfelt joy and peace of mind. Then Father Leonid ordered me to go to Tikhonova Hermitage. I didn’t want to part with my father, but I didn’t dare disobey him. It became harder for me to live here. There is a lot of work, but there is no one to console. The elder came here rarely. Finally, I decided to return again to Optina Pustyn. At this time, Father Leonid came here. I told him my intention. Father called me to the cell of Father Meletius. Father Alexy was also there. He ordered them to put their hands on my head and put them himself, and after reading the Trisagion, he said: “Live here and don’t go anywhere from here.” Since then I have not had any thoughts of leaving this monastery.” The story of the novice of Optina Hermitage Alexei Ivanov (Vasiliev) “Once,” he said, “I felt coldness in myself with subtle embarrassment and reasoned with myself that this was a consequence of distraction and self-indulgence. Three days have already passed since I was not with my elder, and I did not check my deeds, and did not reveal my thoughts. One thought told me that there was no need to go to him, because during this time you had done nothing against your conscience. The other, on the contrary, urged me to receive from him at least a blessing that could strengthen me against the wiles of the devil. And at the same time, I reasoned within myself that, in His goodness, the Lord might perhaps inform the elder about my hidden infirmities, which, due to my youth, I do not notice; and if I receive reproof of these with fatherly instruction, then my former peace of mind may return to me. Obeying this suggestion, I forced myself to go to my mentor. When I entered his room, the elder was busy with guests. Seeing me come in, he asked: “What do you need?” I approached him and, kneeling down, said that I had come to ask for blessings and holy prayers. Having blessed me, he said: “Thank you.” He began to ask how I spend my time - am I doing the obedience given to me by my boss - am I painting the icons assigned to me? To this I answered: “I am looking after your prayers, father.” After a pause, the elder said: “Okay; but I heard that you also paint portraits.” These words completely confused me, because last evening I painted a portrait of one brother on my own. As a newcomer, I was not able to ask for proper forgiveness, but in my apology I said that I was “naughty,” thinking that this would justify myself. The elder, looking at the guests, repeated this word several times: “He was naughty!” Taking me by the head and turning my face to the visitors, he said: “Here, gentlemen, this man is over thirty years old and already has a big beard; being in a secular rank, he ruled thousands of people 2 - but here, to the monastery, he came to “play pranks.” After all, there will be good in this person! - and sighing, he added: “Well, brother Alexy, so that you are more careful forward, bow a few times.” During these, he ordered me to say these words after him: “Although I am a proud man, I must humble myself. The Holy Apostle Paul says: insist, reprove, and so on.” “Then, with a cheerful spirit and affection, he blessed me and said: “Well, my child, now you will be peaceful; go with God!” “One day I went to find out the difference in prayers, the categories of which can be seen in the Philokalia. I especially wanted to read the chapters of Callistus Katafigiot, but I doubted that the elder would allow me to read them to the former in his new beginning. Therefore, I began to ask him for a book in front of many visitors, believing that he, being busy with noble persons, would not enter into a detailed question with me about reading. Beyond my expectations, Father Leonid, leaving the conversation with the guests, began to ask with special sympathy - why did I need the Philokalia and what places do I want to read? When I told him, he looked at me and said: “How dare you take on such high objects? Bump 3! It’s not for you to read Kallista Katafigiota, but it’s more useful to clean the manure! Remember Simon the Magus, how he, having risen high, sank low; so you too, if you do not humble yourself, you will perish.” At this time I was kneeling before him as if struck by thunder. Then the elder said to me: “Give me your cheeks here.” And after giving me a few light slaps in the face, he said: “Go with God!” “It happened to me to invite one brother to my place for tea. While putting the dishes on the table, I accidentally broke a tea cup. He came to the elder to explain himself and found him sleeping on the bed. Father woke up from the rustling and, seeing me, said: “What do you want? Money?" I answered: “I broke the teacup.” He immediately called the cell attendant and told him: “Congratulate Alexei Ivanovich - he took the city.” I didn’t understand why there was such a congratulation. The elder said to me: “Tell me, please, when will you correct yourself? What good can we expect from you? You were a scoundrel in the world and now you live without correction. If you had the fear of God, then you would humble yourself and this would not happen to you. Apparently, you were absentmindedly, not remembering yourself, busy with the treat and that’s why you broke it. And what’s worse is that with a proud spirit I came to the elder to brag: I broke the cup. If you were a worthwhile person, you would come with humility, saying: Father, forgive me for God’s sake, I accidentally broke the cup; how do you bless? And you boast about how you took the city. Get out!” When I approached the door, he sighed and graciously said in a gentle tone: “Alexey Ivanovich! Turn back; I hope that you will make a start towards correction and will continue to be more humble.” And he ordered the cell attendant to give me a ruble” 4. The same brother assured that he had never left the elder embarrassed, but always strengthened and consoled. When he appeared dejected by some kind of sorrow, Father Leonid, noticing the one entering, greeted him with inexplicable fatherly love and, after listening to his deeds and thoughts, laid his hands on him, and sometimes, jokingly taking him by the head, took him to himself during the prayer he said, and thereby brought peace and consolation into the soul of the sufferer. Story by Alexander Smirnov “In the first year of my entry into the monastery, I once came with a troubled spirit to my spiritual father, Elder Father Leonid, and, crying, told him that the arrival of my mother and sister embarrassed me. Father, thinking that I was being overcome by the weakness of carnal love for my parent and was already regretting separation from her, became so jealous of God and annoyed that, hitting me hard on the cheek, he said: “Have you chosen love for your mother over love for God? And is this how you pay Him for your exile from the world, weak-hearted?!” Although I was not aware of my passion for my relatives, I rejoiced in spirit, seeing from the action of my father my spiritual true leader towards God, whom he apparently loved above all else, towards whom, of course, he also taught me to walk without going astray.” “Then, after some time, I stood at the priest’s entrance and for a long time could not be allowed to see him because of the many wanderers who had come from distant places, with whom he was engaged. Having no patience, as a beginner and inexperienced, I began to get bored, and finally grumble at my elder. When his cell attendant came to me without closing the door behind him, then I said with annoyance, so that the elder could hear the words that were most insulting to him, namely: “Father tends strange sheep, but his own are hungry.” From these words of mine, his cell officer became angry and reprimanded me for my insolence and impatience. Father, on the contrary, meekly and affectionately told me: “Oh, Sasha, Sasha! Are you confused? Yasha, give him some tea.” Then, turn to me, he continued: “Well, Alexander, have you calmed down? Well, aren’t you ashamed to worry about the fact that I accept others too. After all, you want to receive spiritual food from me, but don’t others want the same? You are always with me, but others who have annoyed you have come from distant countries to see me, to reveal their needs to me and to receive consolation from me, and should I not allow them to come to me? And is it good for us to love only ourselves? On the contrary, God wants us to love others and desire to be saved in everyone, like Him.” Such truth of his words and meekness softened my heart, and with tears I asked him for forgiveness and felt his complete kindness, both on this occasion and during my stay with him.” “Comparing this act of his with the first, I began to understand even better about my elder; for for the personal insult made to him, he did not show a trace of displeasure either in face or in word, but for preferring worldly spiritual love, or love for God, he became angry and could not leave me for this without punishment.” Stories of other Optina brothers “While still a novice,” said Hieroschemamonk Theodotus, “one day, kneeling with others before the elder Father Leonid, I became carried away with my thoughts and began to think that such and such a monk, who understood the economic part well, would be suitable to become an abbot. I had just thought this, when suddenly the elder hit me quite hard on the cheek with the words: “You’re minding your own business!” You don’t know what kind of person this is.” It should be noted that the monk about whom Father Theodotus thought so, subsequently left Optina Pustyn, changed many monasteries, but still did not become an abbot.” “One day the young novice John entered the elder Father Leonid, bowed at his feet and stood before him in a very humble position. The elder, looking at him and shaking his finger, said: “Oh, Vanyushka, you are not humbled before the good.” These words, containing a foreshadowing, at the same time could serve as a warning for John if he wanted to understand them. But as he ignored the elder’s words, the very next day he fell into an offense inappropriate for the monastic rank.” “The new brother insulted the old monk, and both came to complain to Father Leonid. It was obvious to everyone that the newcomer was entirely to blame. But the elder did not think so. “Aren’t you ashamed to be equal to a newcomer? – he said sternly to the old monk. “He just came from the world, his hair has not yet grown back, and you can’t strictly punish him if he says something wrong.” And you’ve been living in a monastery for so many years and you haven’t learned to listen to yourself.” So they left. The newcomer triumphed, considering himself completely justified. But soon after this, this brother came alone to Father Leonid. The elder took him by the hand and said: “What are you doing, brother? You just came from the world, your hair hasn’t even grown back, and you’re already insulting old monks!” The unexpected admonition had a strong effect on his brother, and he began to ask for forgiveness. “God will forgive,” said the elder, “just be careful, brother, correct yourself, otherwise your case will be bad.” “At first, after I entered the monastery,” said Monk N., “I was excessively jealous of monastic deeds. It happened that after Matins others would go to rest, and at that time I would do something according to my obedience and then, tired, I would lie down for a short rest, mentally worrying about how I would not oversleep, but would be in time for the very beginning of early mass. Someone started waking me up. At the first ring of the bell, it was as if someone was saying a prayer at my door. I get up and look - no one is there. The next day again. They had just announced the announcement for mass, and someone’s voice seemed to be reading a prayer. I thought about our monk Father I. I go out - there is no one. I explained all this to the elder Father Leonid. “What do you think,” he asked me, “who is waking you up?” “I think, father,” I answered, “isn’t he an angel?” “With horns,” the old man objected. “We’ll see what happens next.” “The next day no one woke me up, and I slept through the service. The next day and the third I slept again. So both of us were ashamed - both my unknown alarmist and I, the gullible zealot.” “One day his spiritual son, who was devoted to him, came to Father Leonid and, having sat in his cell the whole evening, then asked the elder: “I saw how the brothers came to you and how you received them. One brother came first, but waited for everyone and came to you last. Others, when they arrived, waited a little, then came up to you and explained what they needed. Some did not want to wait at all, and as soon as they arrived, they immediately rushed forward, begging you to accept them immediately. Is there any difference in this? The elder answered: “There is a difference, and a big difference. Anyone who comes to me does not want to wait at all and rushes ahead of everyone else cannot retain in his memory for long what I tell him. Another time he asks and again forgets. And whoever, having come to explain his needs, waits for others with patience and humility and prefers them to himself, every word he hears will be firmly imprinted on his heart, and he will remember throughout his life what was once told to him.” The story of Peter Ivanov, a monk of the monastery In the days of the elder Father Leonid, there was one brother who often expressed to him a strong desire for martyrdom. The elder repeatedly admonished him to abandon this thought, that it was unsafe to spontaneously fall into great temptations. But when he saw inflexibility in his brother, he did this: in the dead of winter, a stormy night, he calls to himself a brother who wanted martyrdom and sends him to go for some business, it seems, from a monastery to a monastery. But since the monastery and the monastery are located in the middle of a dense huge forest, the brother begins to refuse because it is scary to go through the forest in such terrible bad weather, and even at night. "Unhappy! - said the old man. “You desired martyrdom, and perhaps the Lord was already preparing a martyr’s crown for you, because, by the will of God, in response to your desire, wolves could tear your body to pieces.” And believe that this would be counted against you as martyrdom, because you would go to a monastery for holy obedience.” The brother felt ashamed and bitter, and from then on he never dared to remind the elder of his desire for martyrdom. The story of Father Moses, former Optina hieromonk There was one brother in Optina who often pestered the elder Father Leonid to allow him to wear chains. The elder, who himself removed chains from many people, for a long time did not agree with his brother’s wishes, always explaining to him that salvation did not lie in chains. Finally, wanting to teach his brother a lesson by doing this, he called the monastery blacksmith and told him this: “When such and such a brother comes to you and asks you to make chains for him, give him a good slap in the face.” After a short time, in response to his brother’s persistent request, the elder said: “Well, go, go to the blacksmith, ask him to make you chains.” The brother happily runs into the forge, calls the blacksmith by name and says: “Father blessed you to make chains for me.” Busy at this time, the blacksmith said quickly: “What kind of chains do you need?” - how to slap him in the face. The impatient brother, for his part, also responded with a slap in the face, and immediately both went to the elder for trial. The blacksmith, of course, had nothing to do with it. And the brother who wanted to wear chains received a good lecture from the elder, something like this: “Where are you going to wear chains when you couldn’t stand even one slap in the face!” Three stories of the Optina Elder Hieroschemamonk Ambrose and together with other old-timer monks The aforementioned disciple of the elder Father Leonidas, the schema-monk Father Diomede, lived in the monastery. He was already in his old age, led a strict monastic life and, as the old-time monks said, had a desire to teach people, but had no experience in spirituality and the art of senility, as a result of which there were big blunders on his part in dealing with visitors. For example, a visitor burdened with sins will come to him as an elder in order to reveal his life to him and receive from him good advice for correcting it. But Father Diomede, having listened to the revelation, will begin to tell him with horror in this tone and manner: “Oh! How dare you do this and that? Yes, there is no salvation for you. You will end up in Tartarar for eternal torment, you will never be released from there.” As a result of this, the visitor became so embarrassed that he fell into complete despair. But one of the monks will direct him to the elder Father Leonid. Having learned what the matter is, the elder will begin to exhort him not to despair at all, that the Lord came to earth not for the sake of the righteous, but to call sinners to repentance, that there is no limit to His mercy, and so on. Thus, it would happen that the elder would convince and persuade someone who had fallen into despair for a month until, with the help of God, he aroused in him hope for salvation. Similar cases were repeated several times. The old man is tired of Father Diomede. I had to teach him a lesson. It was mentioned above that in the skete, under Elder Leonid, the brethren did not have samovars in their cells and everyone gathered to drink tea with the elder only on Saturdays and Sundays, and on the twelve holidays. It happened on one great holiday, in the winter, and the skits gathered in the elder’s cell to drink tea. Seeing that Father Diomede did not come, the elder ordered to call him. The messenger returned and said that Father Diomede had refused to come due to ill health. Then the elder, knowing that Father Diomede did not come simply out of reluctance, since he had no habit of drinking tea, and wanting to force him to humility and obedience, and by the way, to punish him for the above unreasonable actions, raised his voice: “Diomede!.. Go for him again and bring him in your arms if he doesn’t come. And when you carry it,” added the elder, “throw it into a snowdrift.” Two people set off and asked on behalf of the elder: “Please, father, if you are weak, we will carry you off in our arms.” Not suspecting the danger, Father Diomede agreed: “Well, perhaps, carry it.” Taking the old man in their arms, the porters carried him, but after choosing the largest snowdrift, they would throw him there. The old man, digging and digging in the snow, somehow got out and ran as fast as he could to the old man, complaining that he had been offended. It is clear that nothing came of this complaint, but only Father Diomede was given tea and taken to his cell and escorted 5 . There lived an old brother in the monastery, who came to the monastery in old age. And just as in the world he used to light candles to holy icons during services, so he did at the monastery. The skete monk N. once addressed him with a remark: “Why are you putting out all the candles? In the monastery, monks do not light candles. Be yourself a candle before God.” The old man was embarrassed, thinking: “For a whole century I have been lighting candles, which is considered a good deed, and then suddenly they don’t tell me to light candles.” He went to the elder Father Leonid and told him his embarrassment. Knowing the simplicity of the embarrassed old man, Father Leonid immediately begins to encourage him: “Well, listen to him! He'll tell you. Light the candles as you did before! - and added to this: “Teach the old to heal the dead.” Reassured by this answer, the old man goes to his cell and, having later met with Father N., says with self-satisfaction: “You told me - don’t light candles, but the priest told me to light them. He told me: “To teach the old is not to heal the dead.” A certain gentleman, it seems, was a small landowner or something like that, entered the monastery, conscious of his advantage over others. According to custom, he began to go, together with the other hermits, to the elder for the evening rule. It is known that the elder himself did not appoint readers, and whoever of the brethren wished to read had to raise his hand, letting the elder know about his desire to read. The new brother wanted to read, but raising his hand in front of everyone seemed very embarrassing to him. And each time, at the end of the rule, leaving with the brothers from the elder, he expressed his dissatisfaction with the order established by the elder: “Well, what is this? Raise your hand, what's the point? This doesn’t fit with anything at all.” So he labored and labored, endured and endured, finally lost patience, raised his hand, although with self-compulsion and not very high. Seeing this, the elder said: “Ah! And you wanted to read? Well, go ahead, read it. Let's listen to you read." So he began to read in his own way - with feeling and sense. Graduated. And the elder remarked: “Well, brother, you don’t read well, go.” Thus, at every opportunity, the elder used to humble the exalted pride of the brothers who lived with him. The Kiev-Pechersk hieroschemamonk Anthony told “Our (Kiev-Pechersk Lavra) monk Father Nikodim, a former Optina novice, a disciple of the elder Father Leonid, having spent a long time undergoing the prosphora obedience in the monastery, did not lag behind the last novice brother in this difficult obedience and attributed all this long-term feat to the power of the prayers of his beloved elder. He could never speak about him indifferently. Father always called him by his last name - Titov. He often forced him to speak accusatory words under his dictation to those whom he found necessary to expose, and those exposed then confessed to their faults. Through this, Father Nicodemus clearly saw and believed that the elder Father Leonid received from the Lord the gift of clairvoyance. Here is the verbatim story of Father Nikodim himself: “When I set out with a passport from my city of Belgorod, Kursk province, to enter Optina Pustyn, a house was left to my share in the world. I also had a sister who was a virgin, but she was quite well off for marriage. My dear uncle, who (probably as a guardian) was supposed to marry my sister, intended to appropriate my house, for which he and the buyers already had in mind. Living temporarily in Optina Pustyn, I began to think about how I could take a leave of absence from society. To spend on this item, my uncle had one hundred rubles under my labor money. So one day I came to my father and said: “Father, bless me to go for my dismissal.” The elder said: “God will bless you to go.” But, when I returned to my cell, I somehow became bored, and I no longer had the desire to go for dismissal, so I left this matter until the future. The next day I tell the priest that I have changed my mind about going for dismissal, and the elder abruptly said: “Well, as you wish.” Some time passed, my concern about dismissal doubled - to go and go. I told the priest about this, and he objected to me: “Why didn’t you go then?” I realized my mistake - because I was selfish - I cried, bowed to the elder’s feet, knelt before him, sobbed and said: “Forgive me for God’s sake, father, it’s my fault!” The elder: “Well, well, get up and get ready, you’ll be better now.” So, I arrived in Belgorod and first of all went to see my sister. From a conversation with her, I learned that when marrying her off, my uncle did not spend even the security that was left for this purpose. Then I saw my uncle and finally applied to the magistrate for dismissal. There they demanded money from me and said that the dismissal could be issued right now. I hurried to my uncle for my own money. How he will shout at me: “What kind of money do you want? You still have to pay me back. I got your sister married. Give me the bill, otherwise I won’t let you out of here.” I was immediately lost and said: “Do what you want, just don’t keep me here.” “Well,” he says, “let’s go to the broker.” We've arrived. My uncle managed to arrange it in such a way that he wrote a bill of exchange for five hundred rubles. All I had to do was sign it and sign the book. But at that very moment people began to approach one by one, and there were up to a dozen of them, who took over the brokerage. We waited and waited for our turn, and when we saw that the broker would not be free soon, we agreed to postpone our business until another time. My uncle went home, and I went to my sister and brother-in-law and told them what my uncle intended to do to me. Then his maliciousness was fully revealed to all of us. By the way, at that time my uncle needed to be out of town on his business, and on the same day that he and I went to the broker, buyers for the house were looking for me. Thus, I soon sold the house for cash, and two days later they received the deed. I hurried to the magistrate with the money and was immediately dismissed, but still went to say goodbye to my uncle. “Where are you going?” - asked my uncle. “Yes, back to Optina,” I answered. - “What about Optina? What about the bill?” “Then I told him everything, that is, how I sold the house and got fired. He began to scold me, curse me, and tear out his hair in frustration, and I immediately walked out the door. Then I said goodbye to my sister and brother-in-law - and back to Optina, to my holy and perspicacious elder, who greeted me with these words. "In! Our Titov already flew down and grabbed it bravely.” From then on, I could not look at my elder otherwise, as a great saint of God.” The confessor of the Tikhon Hermitage, Hieroschemamonk Ephraim, spoke about himself “At first, when I was young, I entered the brotherhood of Optina Hermitage, a monastery, under the leadership of the elder hieromonk Leonid. Overwhelmed by jealousy for the monastic deeds, I decided not to do anything without the blessing of my elder, even (except for the midday and evening meals, when kvass was offered to the brethren along with food for drinking) not to drink anything, but to endure thirst until the perspicacious elder himself commanded and blessed me to get drunk. It went on like this for some time. But then came the mowing time, when all the free brethren of the monastery and skete were obliged to go out with rakes to rake hay. I came out too. The day was very hot, and I was very tired from work. Thirst tormented me, but I endured it - I didn’t drink anything. I came to the monastery to the elder, sat down on a bench and sat in great despondency and relaxation. The elder understood what was happening. Turning back to his cell for a moment, he takes out a piece of salted herring, gives it to me and says: “Eat.” How will I pay? “Foolish! – this is what the elder began to tell me. - Is it possible to arbitrarily impose such a vow on yourself so as not to drink until I remind you? This could still be allowed if you and I lived together in solitude, and only with my advice and blessing. And now, you see, I am surrounded by hundreds of people. Where can I enter into all such subtleties of all my spiritual children? And if you want to get drunk, cross yourself in prayer and get drunk.” Then he handed me kvass, and I began to swallow it greedily. Looking at me, the elder did not fail to remark: “Ugh! What are you doing, why are you in such a hurry? You must drink with the fear of God and with thanksgiving for the gift God has given you.” “In the summer of 1833, a twenty-year-old young man, Pavel Trunov, came to Optina with his younger brother Simeon. They were originally from the nobility of the Kursk province, Shchigrovsky district. Having been brought up in the home of their pious parents in the spirit of strict piety, they began to become very burdened by worldly life. Having been appointed by their parents to serve in the Kursk State Chamber, they decided, secretly from their parents, to go to a monastery. More than once, therefore, Pavel asked for his resignation, but he was not dismissed from service. Finally, he turned to God with a fervent prayer that the Lord would send him illness. The prayer was answered. Pavel's eye hurt, and after that they no longer kept him in the ward. Thus, he got the opportunity, together with his younger brother, to immediately go to his cherished goal. After they left for the monastery, their parents at first grieved for them, even cried and were greatly grieved for their unauthorized absence, but when they learned that they had entered the holy monastery for a feat of prayer, they forgave them for this guilt. Meanwhile, after some time, parental love prompted their father, Theodotus Savvich, to write a letter to the children in Optina, in which he earnestly asked that one of them come to see their parents. With the elder’s blessing, it was decided that Pavel should go. He set off immediately. (We note here that Theodotus Savvich, as a pious man, loved to read the Chetya-Minea of St. Demetrius of Rostov in his leisure hours.) Just before Paul’s arrival, he had to read the life of St. Nicholas, the Wonderworker of Myra, set on the 6th of December, which, by the way, tells how a young youth, the son of Africanus, was taken captive by the Persians and served in their chambers The prince, through the prayers of his parents, was suddenly taken away from captivity by an invisible force and presented to his parents in Persian clothes and with a cup in his hand filled with wine, as he was serving the prince. In deep thought, Theodotus Savvich paused over this legend and began to reason: “How touching this is! If something similar happened to me, I would not bear it.” But suddenly the door opens, and Pavel enters in monastic clothes, whom Theodotus Savvich had not seen for a long time and did not recognize. Having prayed at the holy icons, the stranger bowed to Theodotus Savvich’s feet and said: “Hello, father, I am your son Pavel.” Theodotus Savvich, as he sat there, was stupefied, and the book fell out of his hands; he could hardly recover from the joy of seeing his son before him, whom he thought he would never have to see again in this temporary life. After staying for some time at his parents' house, Father Pavel returned to Optina. Having now become acquainted, albeit in absentia, with the Optina Hermitage, Theodotus Savvich’s brother, Ermil Savvich, whose son, Hermogenes, had entered the brotherhood of the Optina Hermitage before his cousins, and himself wished to visit this monastery. And after the visit, with what respect and reverence he remembered the elder Father Leonid and the Optina Hermitage in general! He often said with tears: “Oh, here is the old man! What a visionary he is! He recounted everything that happened in my life to me in detail, as if he himself was an obvious witness to all my circumstances.” From that time on, he became especially charitable and loving of the poor, forgave all his debts to his debtors, stopped eating meat, and until his death he partook of the Holy Mysteries of Christ every six weeks. Let us now turn the speech back to Father Paul. From the very beginning of entering the monastery, he completely devoted himself to the obedience and guidance of the elder Father Leonid, to whom he always revealed the thoughts that always troubled him. In relation to the monastery brethren, he was so meek and gentle that not one of them ever heard from him an insulting word, or an offensive argument, or a murmur against anyone or for anything. Throughout his short stay at the monastery, despite his illness, he faithfully went through monastic obediences. It happened that some of the brethren grumbled at him and embittered him for his lack of success in business, calling him lazy, while this failure was due to his sickness and lack of strength, and Paul, like a gentle lamb, was either silent, or only sometimes said: “It’s my fault, forgive God, I’m weak.” Meanwhile, vain reproaches resonated painfully in his heart. Often, with tears in his eyes, he came to his spiritual father and mentor, the elder Father Leonid, and before him poured out the sorrow of his soul. He told him in consolation: “Be patient, Pavel! For it is said in the Holy Scripture: through many tribulations we must enter into the Kingdom of God (Acts 14:22). – And this time is this: let him who offend still offend, and the wicked, let him be filthy still: and the righteous, let him still do righteousness, and the holy, let him be holy still (Rev. 22:11). Let us therefore strive with patience for the fight that is set before us (Heb. 12:1). And the Lord said: In your patience gain your souls (Luke 21:19).” And with other words from the Holy Scriptures, the elder pacified the troubled soul of Paul, bringing him to unspeakable joy, letting him know that everything was being done to him according to the will of the Lord, to test his zeal, that all sorrowful cases should be accepted as the ineffable mercies of God, and that illness itself was given to him from God, may he glorify His holy Name. The elder thus brought him to extreme self-reproach. The pain that Pavel had long felt was the threshold of consumption. His body gradually melted like a candle, and his mind was immersed in constant prayer. It is remarkable that he knew the entire Psalter by heart. Almost a year before his death, he always said: “Ah! I will die soon; pray for me, fathers and brothers.” The year 1836 arrived. Pavel's consumption showed up in full force. The elder Father Leonid told the close brethren: “Paul will take it from us during Holy Week.” All winter Paul barely wandered, and in the fifth week of Great Lent he no longer got out of bed and only prayed. Often he called upon his spiritual father, the elder Father Leonid, and then he was only at peace when he talked with him. From that time on, he confessed often. On Lazarus Sunday he was invested by the father builder in the holy small image of monasticism and was repeatedly communicated the Holy Mysteries of Christ. On April 2, on the Thursday of Bright Week, during Matins, he was singled out, and after mass the Holy Mysteries of Christ were again communicated. After this, the elder Father Leonid told him: “Well, Pavel, you will soon recover.” “I know, father,” answered the sufferer, “but not in this life.” The evening of Bright Thursday was approaching. The dying man's bed was surrounded by some of his close associates. At seven o'clock in the afternoon he closed his eyes and said something incomprehensible to himself. At this time, the elder Father Leonid himself read him the funeral service, and Pavel looked at him in surprise and then thanked him for reading it. The elder asked: “Do you want me to come to you again?” He replied: “I really want him to be with me until my death.” He said this clearly and loudly, and from that moment he completely changed. Then, getting up, he sat until his very blissful death and was in full memory. Then he asked his cousin Hermogenes, who was with him, to put him on the pillow, but as soon as he tilted Paul, he sighed and gave up the ghost. It was at nine o'clock in the evening. The thrice-strike of the bell announced to the monastery brethren the transmigration of Pavlova's soul into eternity. The brethren rushed in a crowd to the cell of the newly deceased, and the elder Father Leonid again himself performed on him the “Sequence of the departure of the soul from the body.” The face and entire body of the deceased turned white and was soft, like that of a living person. The next day, Father Builder Moses, in the presence of all the brethren, performed the funeral service for the body of the newly deceased. Tears flowed quietly for some about separation from their unforgettable brother, but everyone thanked God for granting the deceased such a peaceful Christian death and inwardly wished that the Lord would grant him the same death. Afterwards, the cousin of the deceased asked the elder Father Leonid to tell him about Paul’s virtues, but the elder told him only one thing: “Paul is great with God, and the Lord will glorify him.” The root of this word, in our opinion, is “ar”, which, according to Dahl’s dictionary, means: the trail of an animal in the powder. Consequently, the word “Aryasina” corresponds to the word “beast”, or “beast”. For some time he was the manager of some gentleman's estate. This brother had a bump on his forehead. The brethren who belonged to the elder, if anyone had any money, did not keep it with them, but this money was always kept by the elder, and if anyone needed to buy any thing, it was always bought with the blessing and permission of the elder. It should be noted that Elder Leonid, as a blessed man, acted this way at the inspiration of God. For other, ordinary elders, the described fact cannot serve as an example. You might be interested in: