429. Каждый несет свой крест по силе. Бежать из монастыря – бежать на явную погибель. Молись усердней, терпи все без ропота – таков иноческий путь

M. St. O. n. G.I.H.B.n. p.n. Rejoice in the Lord, sister and my spiritual child, M. Pelageya! I received your letter in which you describe your grief over the tonsure. Although it is a little sorrowful, all sorrow produces patience, and patience is salvation. As the Lord Himself says, through your patience gain your souls, that is, salvation. Why do you, my dear, forget the word of God, which roars like thunder, so that everyone can hear that through many sorrows it is necessary to enter the Kingdom of God. Like you, everyone bears the cross of sorrows, but each has his own; Do not forget this, that everyone has their own cross and is given to each according to his strength. To flee from the monastery means to flee to obvious destruction, this is what the enemy wants, in order to pull you out of the fence of St. monastery. He can’t do anything here, but once you jump out of the fence, it’s already in his clutches. “I don’t want to pray. I don’t want to give Mother Superior prosphora.” “Who are you threatening with this if not yourself?” Your mother, the abbess, is a true mother. And that you were bypassed, it is God’s will that you be better tempered in sorrows. And you yourself reproach yourself that you are truly unworthy because of your sins, but they are worthy. What kind of abbess will hand out the prosphora to the communicant sisters herself? This is a loving mother, and the enemy makes you angry. Why are you listening to the enemy? You better listen to our Sweetest Savior, Who says this: “Pray for one another, that you may be healed,” because you are sick in soul. Pray harder for Mother, and the Lord will give peace to your soul, you will calm down. And Mother will be commanded to console her spiritual child. Well, think carefully for yourself, because you have to endure something for your sins and for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. We do not have such feats as the ancient fathers worked in all-night prayers, rested and fasted on the bare ground, but we have no shadow against them. Be reconciled in spirit with Mother Superior. Pray more diligently, endure everything without complaining - this is the monastic path. God help me. Peace to you and God's blessing. You might be interested in: