329. Тоска со всеми бывает, хотящими спастись. Послушание называется мученичеством. При переходе в другой монастырь не избежишь креста

M. St. O. n. G.I.H.B.n. p.n. I received two of your letters and 3 rubles, God bless you for your diligence. May the Lord deliver you from melancholy. Be patient, don’t be embarrassed, but pray to God and ask for help. This happens to everyone who wants to be saved. You have to endure and reproach yourself, and it will be good. And do not become burdened with obedience and do not complain. We must work for the monastery. If not you, then someone else should be in your place. For the sake of patience you will be saved. Obedience is called martyrdom. But it is a sin to refuse. If you sometimes do something against your conscience, or eat something, or are lazy, then bring repentance. There is no need to cry, it is better to hold on. If they release you, then you can go and receive unction, but perhaps they won’t perform unction. Don't think about going to another place. This will not avoid the cross, but we must pray to God and ask for patience. Peace to you and God's blessing. You might be interested in: