246. Господь попускает немощь и леность к нашему смирению. Самое надежное состояние – постоянное сокрушение сердца. Без терпения никакая добродетель не достигается

M. St. O. n. G.I.H.B.n. p.n. Sister in the Lord M. Magdalene! I wish you God's mercy and spiritual peace and salvation. I received your two letters. You write in the first that you are beginning to feel compelled. I thought, thank God. And in another you write that laziness set in again, and you skipped prayers and slept for whole days. Apparently, the Lord allows weakness and laziness to contribute to our humility so that we do not boast, but always remain in a feeling of repentance, and this is the most reliable state - constant contrition of the heart. For this reason, we must forget our corrections, and always bring our negligence to memory. In sins, voluntary and involuntary, may the Lord forgive. You write that the sisters scold you, but Mother Superior supports you, then you have no need to be embarrassed by the sisters’ speech. Do your job and trust in the Lord. And here you have to be patient; without patience, no virtue can be corrected. May the Lord forgive you for your grave sin and continue to protect you from it. Apparently, one should not be vain about external decoration, nor should one condemn Fr. spiritual. In church, try not to cry or do something more discreet. And if [tears] come against your will, then there’s nothing to do, just don’t be vain. It was comforting to read how Father Fr. Ambrose helped his sick sister. May the Lord help her to leave her sinful friendship. My health has now weakened with the onset of cold weather. I don’t go outside anymore and sometimes I don’t feel well in my cell. I ask you not to be frightened by this, but to accept it more indifferently, for my years are such that they will weaken. There is no illness, just weakness. O. Zosima bowed, thanks and asks for your prayers. I send a blessing to M. Evstolia, Pasha and Varvara Vladimirovna. Peace to you and God's blessing. You might be interested in: