234. Чтобы начать исправление, надо иметь на это твердое решение без саможаления или себялюбия

M. St. O. n. G.I.H.B.n. p.n. Rejoice in the Lord! Most honorable Mother Magdalene! I received your letter, in which you describe your weaknesses and mistakes, especially during your trip to Zosima Hermitage. What to do now? Do not indulge in extreme despondency and negligence. Let us take notice, let us call on God’s help and let us kindly stretch ourselves to the front, according to the Apostle, but forgetting the back. To begin correction, you must have a meaningful, firm decision, without self-pity or selfishness. A disciple asks his elder why there are few people being saved today? Because they deviate from fulfilling Christ’s commandments, fatherly instructions and tradition. The Lord said to his disciples: “Go and teach them to keep all the commandments given to you.” And again he says: “Women in need enter the Kingdom of Heaven.” In every possible way you need to force yourself to do everything: to prayer, repentance, patience and self-reproach. It’s good that I kept silent before that confessor about the passionate movement of my heart, confess to your confessor there. Yes St. The Apostle says: “Be careful how dangerously you walk.” You say: you don’t want refectory food. This is also a temptation. The Holy Fathers ate dry bread for sweetness, but we don’t like boiled food. If I hadn’t eaten before the meal, then a different appetite would have appeared. Or drink tea, but without bread - sometimes that wouldn’t hurt you. The holy fathers always remembered that they were short-lived guests here, so they cared little about the rot, which would soon turn into pus, food for worms, they troubled it in every possible way, humbled it with fasting, vigil, and prayer. Through this the soul was humbled, and without the first there cannot be the second. Behold, now I have begun. But remember, this betrayal, that is, to begin to live differently, right hand, that is, the help of the Most High is needed. The Lord said: “Without Me you cannot do anything.” Remember, dear, this too. God's help comes on its own in extreme circumstances, namely, when a person dies, but usually the grace and help of God is asked for through humble, earnest prayer. And zeal comes when a person forces himself. May God forgive you, child, for the described errors. I hope that you will try to start a correction. I call upon you, M. Evstolia, Pasha, Varvara Vladimirovna, peace and God’s blessing. You might be interested in: