185. Господь ждет от нас не безгрешия, а покаяния. Тишина и мир помыслов во время слезной молитвы есть дар Божий. Наличие денег не помешает спасению человека, равнодушного к ним. Подавать милостыню следует по силе и возможности. О наружном и внутреннем послушании. Как бороться с гневом и осуждением

Most venerable Mother of the Treasurer Magdalene in the Lord! I received your letters dated September 5 and 17. You write that you no longer wanted to write to me, a sinner, until you learn to implement my advice. – But how can this be reconciled with the case? Spiritual life requires revelation from those who experience it, as the Rev. notes. Abba Dorotheos and other saints. Fathers, if you don’t want to write about yourself, it means you don’t want to have revelation. The point is not to be correct. For who can be right before the Lord? And the Lord does not seek sinlessness from us, but seeks repentance from us with the consciousness of our sinfulness and with self-reproach. So, do not neglect revelation as a very important cure for the infection of sin. In your second letter you described your tearful prayer. – According to the remark of people experienced in spiritual life, if during such prayer a person feels silence and peace of thoughts, then this state is a gift of God’s grace, and if at this time bows interfere, then you can leave them. But you must remember that this is a gift from God, and not the fruit of your labors and efforts. Already because of this you can conclude that when this state passed, then you could no longer return it with any effort. Therefore, in such cases, descend more and more into the depths of humility, considering yourself unworthy of such a gift from Heaven because of your countless sins, keeping this in mind: “I surpass everyone in sin, whom will I teach to repent? If I breathe like a tax collector, the heavens will (I think) be burdened with no food. If I cry like a harlot, I defile the earth with my tears. But grant me remission of sins, O God, and have mercy on me” (Octoech. 2nd tone, stichera on Tuesday at matins at the stichera). At the same time, remember that to whom much is given, much will be required from him. Therefore, cry out to the Lord from your heart, so that this gift will not serve you as condemnation at His Last Judgment. You wrote that the state of grace passed and again prayer became absent-minded. – Don’t be embarrassed by this. This happens to everyone who wants to live piously. The Lord will please a person with His grace, and then leaves a person with his weak strength, so that, firstly, he sees his insignificance, and secondly, so that he does not become lazy, but works with self-compulsion, seeking and asking for grace. You also wrote that you interrupted your night prayer so as not to oversleep Matins. Yes, the Lord said: “Do this, and do not forsake it.” I think that giving yourself at least a short rest will be easier. Be more self-reproachful. You also described your dream. “You shouldn’t trust dreams at all.” But to pray to Rev. Seraphim can, and if this saint of God sees the help you need, he will help. The novice Eustolia, a prayer book, is afraid of falling into delusion. - Let her adhere to God-loving humility, considering herself in the feeling of her heart the most sinful of all people, and then she will not fall into delusion. For, according to the remark of St. Fathers, “humility does not fall.” Let her determine the nighttime rule with bows for herself, according to her own strength, and stick to it. If putting 500 bows is not burdensome, then let him do it. And then you can reduce it. Only to keep a mental prayer with the humble heartfelt disposition of the Gospel Publican: “God, be merciful to me, a sinner!” Let him not abandon his obedience, to calm the strange and the sisters. They are her prayer books. Perhaps if you felt a break in prayer, then you could retire a little in order to warm up your prayer. When doing business, she has to skip services and cell rules and break her fast. Let him reproach himself before the Lord for this and repent, but do not be embarrassed at all. Obedience is more important than fasting and prayer. During night prayer, the enemy puts various insurances on her. This is a common demonic trick. But, according to the remark of Rev. John Climacus, when praying and making the sign of the cross, one should not be afraid of this, but should despise all this. You can write to me about more necessary things, but I don’t promise quick answers, only as God will show you and help you. Mother Magdalene! I forgot to write to you about money. “It’s not the money that’s to blame, it’s the addiction to money.” You never know there were kings and princes who lived in wealth. But since they had no addiction to wealth, they ended up among the saints, as evidenced by their incorruptible relics. You can live in extreme poverty and at the same time have an addiction or heartfelt attachment to wealth, and through this alone the soul can perish if a person does not repent of this sin during his lifetime. It is also possible, on the contrary, to have money and not be partial to it, that is, whether it is there or not, a person is indifferent - then money will not interfere with his salvation. Alms should be given to those in need according to one’s strength and ability. Rev. Barsanuphius the Great says: “If someone does not give a needy person what he himself needs, he will not sin.” Peace to you and the novice Eustolia and God's blessing. P.S. Do not despise the sisters who come to you for advice and consolation. First, sigh prayerfully to the Lord and say mentally: “Lord! For the prayers of the sister who came to me, understand my madness to say a word for her benefit.” And say what God sends to your heart. Then reproach yourself for teaching people, but not doing what you teach, and pray in your mind that this does not lead to your condemnation, just as what I wrote did not lead to my condemnation. You wrote it, mat. Magdalene, the novice of your monastery, Varvara, says that she does not have humility, but she does have obedience. She says this out of misunderstanding of the matter. The word “obedience” has a double meaning: in the first - obedience as a virtue, and in the second - the very work that the novice does, which we usually also call obedience. It sometimes happens that a novice exactly fulfills the task entrusted to him and at the same time does not have the virtue of obedience. And this happens when, while carefully carrying out a task, he grumbles, gets angry and condemns those who entrusted him with the task. In this case, there is only one external obedience without internal. This is the same as a body without a soul - a rotting, stinking corpse. One must combine external obedience with internal, that is, accept commands from those in authority, as from the Lord Himself, and carry them out in simplicity of heart, without anger and grumbling, even if it is contrary to the desire and heartfelt disposition of the novice. Then the virtue of obedience will appear. And since, according to St. Fathers, from true obedience humility is born, then with obedience humility will not be slow to show itself. Nevertheless, this is not acquired suddenly and not in a short time, but after many years with constant attention to oneself and constant self-motivation to do good and with fervent prayer to the Lord for help. For the Lord said: “Without Me you can do nothing.” The elder told Varvara that she should not pay attention to little things. According to your description, Varvara is angry, and anger is among the deadly sins. Is this a small thing? She judges people. And the Lord said: “Judge not, lest ye be judged.” This means that whoever judges will himself be judged and condemned to eternal torment. Is this a small thing? Condemnation comes from pride, the mother of all vices. And this is a small thing? Advise Varvara to enter, with God’s help, into the fight against these passions. One must fight, firstly, with fervent prayer. As soon as she feels anger in herself, she must immediately retire into seclusion, fall on her knees before the saint. icons and say the following prayer words: “Save, Lord, and have mercy on my dearest mother or sister (name), and for the sake of her holy prayers, save me, a damned sinner.” Pray like this until the anger subsides. Secondly, this should be revealed to some old woman, even to you, M. Magdalene, or Eulalia, and, moreover, with self-reproach and self-abasement. Tell her about the money she distributed so that she does not regret it, and read to her what you wrote about it. Against condemnation, one must pray with the prayer of the Venerable Ephraim the Syrian: “Hey, Lord the King, grant me to see my sins and not condemn my mother or sister,” and so on. May the Lord bless Barbara for good. One should pray especially during times of strong movement of anger and other passions. Prayer: “Drive away the spirit of pride and vanity, anger and blasphemy from me, O Lord, and grant me the spirit of humility and patience, Thy accursed servant.” It’s good to pray like this with bows, and reveal thoughts of pride, vanity, anger, blasphemy, and condemnation to the old woman. You might be interested in: