115. Молись молитвой мытаря. Бог будет судить о покаянии не по мере трудов, а по мере смирения. Каждый день и час клади начало к исправлению

Venerable sister Justinia in the Lord! Peace be with you, God's mercy be with you! You write that you are so careless, constantly grumbling, irritated with everyone and condemning everyone, etc., etc., and besides, you are also lazy to pray to God. And you ask me to pray for you. May the Lord grant you such a feeling that you would sincerely recognize that you are worse than everyone else and would pray no other than the prayer of a tax collector, and would not imitate the Pharisee praying in the church: God, I thank you that I am not like other people... or like this tax collector. Forgive me, sister, [but] if all the saints pray for us, and we do not force ourselves to correct our shortcomings with our free will and do not stop continuing our sins, then the prayers of the saints will be useless for us. After all, you admit: everything that you do, you do it all against the teaching of the Gospel, the teaching of Jesus Christ (read the Gospel of Matthew from the 5th chapter to the 28th verse of the 7th chapter). And calling on the Lord for help, begin the process of correction. Otherwise, admitting everything that you live carelessly, you don’t even want to force yourself to work towards salvation. In this case, it remains for me to tell you that one day the brothers came to Abba Anthony and said to him: “Give us instructions on how to be saved.” The elder answered them: “Have you heard the Scripture? And this is very good enough for you.” They told him: “We want to hear something from you too.” - “Then the Gospel says: If someone hits you on the right side of your cheek, give him another one.” They tell him: “We can’t do this.” - “If you can’t substitute another, at least transfer the blow to one.” - “We can’t do that either.” - “If you can’t do this, at least don’t pay blow for blow.” The brethren said: “We cannot do this either.” Then the elder said to his disciple: “Prepare some gruel for them: they are sick. If you can’t do one thing and you can’t do another, then what will I do for you?” We need to pray more diligently, as the Canaanite wife prayed (Evan. Matt. ch. 15, vv. 22-28). Some say: yes, we pray, but our prayers are not fulfilled... But you, no matter what, continue to pray, cry out like St. The apostles prayed: Lord, save us, we are perishing or like a blind man (Evan. Luke, ch. 18, v. 35–43). The arrogant Pharaoh prays and is heard. Demons pray and receive forgiveness. How much more will a praying Christian be heard? Don't be discouraged, but continue to pray. To feel our sins is a gift that is given to us from God. “If you do not give in to despondency and negligence,” says St. Barsanuphius, then you will be forced to glorify God, as he changes you from non-existence to being. Wet your cheeks with the tears of your eyes, so that the Holy Spirit may rest on you and wash you from the filth of your malice. Appease your Lord with your tears so that he may come to you.” Ask yourself more often, why did I come to the monastery? And try to spend your life every day as you spent the first day when you arrived at the monastery, and every day in the morning tell yourself: “Perhaps this day is the last day of my life. I will endure out of love for the Lord Jesus Christ, no matter what the sorrow may be now, and I will forgive everyone who has offended me. May the Lord remember me, a great sinner, and have mercy and save me according to His false promise” (Evan. Luke, chapter 17, v. 37). God will judge repentance not by the measure of work, but by the measure of humility. On that day God will judge us not about the psalms, not for our abandonment of prayer (i.e., for ever ruling), but for not repenting! There is great joy for the angels in heaven over one sinner who repents. Let us pray: “Lord, have mercy, Lord, grant me humility and meekness and, in the face of fate, save me, Lord.” And the Lord, in His mercy, will have mercy and save us all by His grace (Rom. ch. 3, 23–24). Every day and hour make a beginning for correction, and the God of mercy, love for mankind and generosity will give us His helping hand, like St. Peter. To the Apostle drowning in the waves of the sea. Pray for me, too, who is weak. I remain a wisher for your health and salvation. You might be interested in: