Last Testaments: Letters from the last years of the life of His Eminence Theophan

The proposed correspondence of Bishop Theophan falls on the last year of his life. It is very important for characterizing the relationship of the Eminence to all who sought guidance from his spiritual experience. Out of his great modesty, the Recluse at first refused the request for spiritual guidance, but, deeply sympathizing with every good and sincere aspiration, in the end he descended to the details? truly fatherly admonitions and instructions, not refusing to answer even the slightest doubts... In one of the last letters, written on December 15, 1893, three weeks before his death, we read: “...He 1 is nearby... and sees and hears everything...” wrote the Bishop. Let us always keep these words in memory as the holy testament of the late archpastor, especially remembering them during prayer... With a weakening hand and with frequent stops, the elder ascetic wrote, but love for his neighbor led his hand: until the end of his days he ardently desired the benefit and salvation of his neighbors - he carried and preserved the holy flame of Christian love to his very grave... God's mercy be with you! You are inviting me to take you under my leadership. “I can’t - and I don’t understand this matter.” That's why I never undertake to lead. Please excuse my refusal. It is being done in your favor, because, without knowing the matter, I could lead you I don’t know where. I wish you to find yourself an elder, but I can’t point you to anyone. May the Lord make you wise in the matter of salvation. If you yourself were looking for tonsure, perhaps I would tell you - don’t look, let Mother Superior do it herself. And when the mother abbess proposes, then you must agree. – There were experiences that others refused, and then grief and melancholy. It’s better not to bring this trouble upon yourself. You have a disposition to pray... Thank the Lord. This is the root of monasticism... And please satisfy yourself to the best of your ability and beyond your strength... both in church and in your cell. Would you like to learn how to pray... Pray more often and more diligently, and you will learn. Nothing else is required. If you work patiently, then over time you will develop unceasing prayer... Set this as the goal of your search and search. The Lord is near. Have the memory of God, and always try to keep the Lord before you and keep yourself in reverence before Him. Have you tried praying short prayers?! – The main one is the Jesus Prayer... G.I.X.S.B.p.m.g. 2 “You can match her with others according to your spiritual needs.” For example, take 24 prayers of St. Chrysostom, which are in prayers for sleep... Memorize them, with understanding and feeling - and then insert them into your cell prayers - and cry out to the Lord with them, saying each time three... five, or more... - When you are established in them, try to select others... Where and where to get them from?.. Listen to the church prokemenas and memorize... Read the psalms and choose. Praying in short prayers gathers attention... and sorts through all spiritual needs... Do not forget that the power of prayer is a broken spirit, a contrite and humble heart. Put yourself into the hands of God... And He will not leave you... Everything you wrote about the order of your spiritual studies is very good. May God bless you to show you firm constancy in everything. Keep in mind the main thing, namely, a well-disposed heart - towards the Lord and towards everything that the work of salvation requires of us. Always keep the Lord before the eyes of your mind and behave in everything as you should behave before the Lord. Always keep and kindle the fear of God and reverence for His indescribable greatness within yourself; and with him the heart is contrite and humble. Keep strong faith and indestructible hope. Humble yourself before everyone and consider others higher than yourself. Love silence and isolate yourself as much as possible in order to be in unity with the Lord. Then He Himself will become your leader and teacher, and you will no longer need other such persons. You are wrong about tears. This is God's mercy to you, protection from dryness of heart and petrification of feelings. The enemy's tears bring vanity and love ostentation - and cannot last that long... They are fleeting, just as the enemy is fickle. And you should not want to suppress them, but if vanity finds it, drive it away and in its place evoke humble and contrite feelings. Anything else you would like or need to write, write. The merciful Lord called you and put you on a good path. Thank the Lord! – And this is from the Lord, that, having come out from there... keep well in the order of life according to God. – Hold on tightly: do not close your eyes, keenly looking here and there, for the enemy does not sleep. After all, he doesn’t lag behind you, but right there he’s looking to see if he can confuse you again; but the grace of God covers you and does not give you an attack... As soon as grace retreats for something, he is immediately there; and starts to spin - God save you! Now you are already vainglorious, as you wrote. This is on the enemy side. Vanity is the fruit of his field. And it is such that grace departs for it. Watch out! And what did you decide to be proud of?! With tears! Tears are crying about sins. When will vanity come from tears? Turn your gaze to your sins... and say to your soul: see what you have piled up! Is there anything to be proud of here?! If you do this sincerely, then, instead of vanity, accept bitter contrition, which you always try to have under your tears. You experience cooling... And you see the reasons for it. These reasons are indeed such that they can cool. They all depend on your will - and you can reject them as soon as you want. You favor them for no reason at all - out of inattention, fearlessness and fanfare... What is this for?! Is cooling a minor problem? - Not easy. The enemy will jump up and stir things up, and before you know it, he’ll twist your head... So, if you please, perk up and cheerfully look after yourself: you’ve already seen enough, you were amused at that time. “Now it’s time to be stricter with yourself.” They have forgotten the words of the apostle: work out your salvation with fear and trembling (Phil. 2:12), but you have lost even simple caution... I think that tears keep you feeling good or self-esteem. This feeling is the most dangerous. Work hard to deepen the feeling that you are nothing. The Apostle threatens you: if anyone thinks that he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself, and the truth is not in him (see: 1 John 1:8). Coming on November 1st. October 27, 93 I apologize for taking so long to respond. I tried everything and tried hard to get it together... I have before me your letters dated August 17, September 23. and 30 Sep. A whole bunch! – Everything you write about yourself does not give rise to any concern about you... Thank God! You behave strictly and conduct your affairs carefully. Continue like this... and God's favor will not cease to overshadow and protect you. They calmed down, turned to God... This is God's mercy. Remember her often, or constantly keep in mind those vows that were spoken then, and strive to keep them. The spirit is broken, the heart is contrite and humble... the main thing. Then the omnipotent overexertion of oneself in the labors of prayer - fasting and novitiate... Consider yourself a suicide bomber, keeping in mind: death is about to happen... now, this minute, this moment. There is no better way to keep your mind sober than this. From the heart let the cry go unceasingly to the Lord: Lord Jesus Christ... and so on. You wrote that you get up at night and pray... This is very good... Pray with contrition and crying... That’s when crying and tears are good... but in church, suppress tears and only hold on to your broken spirit... Work in matters of salvation—work in every possible way, but place all your hope of salvation in the Lord the Savior. This point is very important... As soon as you deviate a little or a little from the Lord with your trust, the whole matter is then distorted: for then the Lord retreats, as if saying: well, stay with what you put your trust in. And whatever it is, it’s completely insignificant. Refresh your head with good thoughts through reading and meditation. You have enough books... And the order here is all good... But read more Hesychius, Abba Dorotheus, Simeon the New Theologian, Isaac the Syrian, Barsanuphius... and all are good. - Don’t read too much at once... Don’t read just to read, but to refresh and nourish the soul. It is nourished by the fact that it will pass into the heart through attention and occupy it... If, while reading and thinking, any thought snatches you from the midst of creatures and takes you before the face of the Lord... close the book - and stay with this thought... at least a whole day... or more... Such a thought is one of the turns of the key that was handed to you in a dream. Another turn - the spirit is crushed; the third is the movement of love for the Lord; the fourth is impulses of self-sacrifice or readiness to endure everything, to suffer everything, just to please the Lord and be saved. There are many other turns of this key... What does another dream mean... I think it indicates to you that if you work tirelessly to the point of exhaustion, then you will not work in vain. Therefore, decide to work until you drop... 500 prayers are enough... but always with attention and movements of the heart: for the Lord does not need words, but the heart. As for bowing with this, you can bow for two knots (and a prayer for each knot) from the waist, and on a large knot - to the ground... Bows can be proportioned to your strength, but not for the sake of laziness, but for the sake of excessive fatigue. - It is inconvenient to say a prayer for every hour; and memorize the 24 prayers of St. Chrysostom... and say them often. They embrace all the needs of our spiritual life... You can replace the entire rule with them... namely... repeating each prayer 5-10 or more times... This image of prayer is the best... You can select others for these prayers, whichever is more suitable for you. That you don’t see your thoughts means nothing... It means a lot if your attention is immersed in the Lord. For this is the main thing that you should take care of... As soon as you open your eyes after sleep, immediately direct your thoughts to the Lord and you will be with Him... This is what the Jesus Prayer is intended for. - Household rules and being in church - everything must also be directed... and during needlework, too, everything should be with the Lord. - Sister, who comes to you, but of a different spirit... let him walk; don’t push her away, but sometimes invite her to listen to a book... and read Hesychius, or Abba Dorotheus, or something else... - The old lady, what’s wrong with you, or with whom you... must know a lot about spiritual life. So ask her... or while reading, if you come across something unclear, ask her to clarify. - Put her to rest... This is your duty! - When you write, write down everything that is in your soul... what requires my opinion, then indicate it with a line in the margin - that’s how I do it now. – You mentioned that every trip upsets you spiritually... and you need time to get ready... If these trips are not absolutely necessary, then deny yourself them. And when there is a need, be as attentive as possible to yourself and your thoughts... – You are all mourning your sins... without being sure that God has forgiven you for them. – Sins are immediately forgiven under the permission of your spiritual father. But their trace remains in the soul, and it languishes. With the progress of deeds in resisting sinful urges, these traces are erased, and at the same time the languor is diminished. When the traces are completely erased, then the languor will end. The soul will be confident of remission of sins. For this reason, a contrite spirit, a contrite and humble heart - form the basis of the feelings of the flowing path of salvation. “The further I go, the more shortcomings I discover.” Say: thank God! This is a sign that you are going well... As soon as thoughts begin to appear that you are good... know that you are going astray... And take care and correct yourself. “After a good deed there is vanity, after a bad one there is hopelessness of salvation”... These are the usual attacks of the enemy. Against the first, expose your sins and mistakes. Against the second is the certainty that there is no sin that overcomes God’s mercy. The death of the Lord was the price for all sins, no exceptions... You have noticed the power of reverence with prayer, and please maintain them and renew and strengthen them in every possible way. God bless! Carnal movements and passions, as those that have already passed, remember lightly in general, without details... only in order to humble your thoughts... otherwise they will immediately come to life, like worms dried up under a stone from being sprinkled with water. We must work hard to mortify these movements: for they have their basis in nature, therefore, living very... strong, constant fasting, little sleep, exhaustion of the body... especially prayerful sobriety... finally achieve the fact that they subside. Concerns about this part of the feat... never stop... We would like to know: what is your main passion... To this end, I will remind you of a legend about one ascetic who asked his elder a similar question, namely: what passion should you fight with first? - The elder answered: fight with the one who is fighting you now, and there will be no time to find out what is your main thing... You act well when you hear what others think or say about you reproachfully, or even show it to your face. And continue like this!.. The first thing is not to show insult to the outside; then drive away such inner feeling and replace it with a good feeling towards those persons. And endure actions of this kind... The time will come, and you will greet everyone with a calm spirit. And envy!!! How can she be in a spiritual kind of action?! – Because in the spiritual order everything is accessible to everyone... Did you see anyone who is spiritually superior to you? Put in the work and you can get the same. But in everyday life, not everything is accessible to everyone. This is where envy comes in. Your rule about food... will do... Have the goal - to thin the flesh, so that bad movements will quickly freeze and thoughts on this part will stop... What is it that bothers you - that after prayers you have to drink hot water before going to sleep?! I don’t see what can confuse you here... Eat without hesitation... If a thought comes... turn to the Lord and say: forgive me, Lord! It seems that I answered everything for you. If anything is missed, repeat the question... Such a heap has gathered!.. God bless you! Save yourself. What you sent has been received. Thank you... But please don’t worry about this in the future. I thank my sister for sending me the paraman. Beautifully done. Your well-wishing and prayer book R.S. Books and leaflets are being sent. Of the latter, give something to the triggered paraman. December 15, 93 (Three weeks before his death.) Having put the fast in this fast, you wrote that you are dissatisfied with your fasting, although you love fasting and would like to do this work of Christian piety more often. - Since you did not indicate why you are dissatisfied with your fasting, I will not say anything about it... I will only add: try to bring your fasting to the point that it satisfies you. You can ask your confessor how to improve your fasting. As for more often, there is no need to increase the frequency, because this frequency takes away a considerable part of the reverence for this greatest work... - I mean - fasting and communion. It seems that I have already written to you that it is enough to say fast and take communion in every major post out of 4. And in the fasts before Easter and Christmas twice. And look no more. Try to streamline your inner life and bring it to perfection. – You also notice that during confession you read the sins written in a notebook... which priests don’t like... If they don’t like it, then stop doing it. That’s right, you are writing common sins... of which who is not guilty? - And you write down things. For example, don’t write: I’m quarrelsome, but write down the case in which the quarrelsomeness was revealed... like this: my sister said an unpleasant word, I got angry and scolded... And if you get along, add: we got along, thank God, or: we got along forcibly... I also liked the face of one person... and that impression remained. Realizing that this was bad, I began to fight and erased the impression... (don’t say faces). Same with everything. The crying that was in your soul is a cleansing movement of the soul. You can desire it and support it... This is truly sorrow for God... St. Use water - Epiphany or prayer water - at your own discretion, only with faith and reverence. Prayers to St. You can use Chrysostom instead of your home rule, which you keep in your cell - in the evening and in the morning. - Memorize them and think about each one... In them, the whole spiritual life is remembered... How many times to repeat each - determine this so that you stand in prayer as much as you usually stand for the rule. - You can attach your prayers to them... choose from the psalms: whichever verse suits your heart, write it down... Also the words of the litany of petition, on with which they sing - give it, Lord! you can turn them into prayers, only instead of: we ask... and grant - say - grant to me, Lord. For example: the litany says: we ask the Lord for forgiveness and forgiveness of sins and transgressions... Instead, say: grant me forgiveness and forgiveness of sins and transgressions, Lord. That's all. By using these prayers as a rule with attention, you will soon become accustomed to standing in prayer without being distracted. Insert the Jesus Prayer into their midst. For example: having said ten times: Lord, do not deprive me of Your heavenly blessings, add: G.I.X.S.B.p.m.gr. 3 If you take up this, then all the akathists, canons... and prayers... can be left... except for the prayers that are very close to the heart... The memorial is of the same kind as these prayers. You can read it... A sister who comes up to you in church to tell you about her sorrows - let her come to your cell for this or find time after the end of the service. God has no form and is invisible. God the Son is seen in human nature, since He took on this nature in His person... Therefore, He can be imagined in the form of a man, in all cases that are described in the Holy Gospel... this will be a historical imagination... His divine nature is invisible and has no image. The Holy Trinity exists outside of creation, and how it exists is unthinkable for us. When praying to God, it is better not to imagine Him in any way, but only to believe that He exists, is nearby... and sees and hears everything... We must pray to Him for this. God bless the sisters you mentioned! – In all their needs, let them resort to the Lord in prayer, and He will hear... Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.