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Anger darkens the mind, hardens the heart and is a sign of pride You describe some of your home situations, you realize that they cause you embarrassment and you cannot restrain yourself from treating your family obstinately, for which you sympathize a lot. As for housekeeping and morality, you, as the main owner, have a duty to enter and, where there is something bad, try to correct it with advice. On the advice of St. Apostle: “Insist...reprove, rebuke, entreat with all longsuffering and teaching” (2 Tim. 4:2). When you yourself are moved to rage, it means that you too are driven by passions, humble yourself from this, recognize your weakness, and in your thoughts be condescending to your neighbors, and try as much as possible to restrain yourself from anger - it darkens the mind, hardens the heart, and is a clear sign of pride. If you little by little restrain yourself from it, then with God’s help it will weaken, and you will be more peaceful. “Let not the sun go down on your wrath” (Eph. 4:26) “Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy” (Matthew 5:7). “How can you hope for mercy when you don’t do it yourself, and in return you give them pokes - how many troubles have happened from one poke.” It is written: “A murderer is angry with his brother in vain” (1 John 3:15). They dragged him to the police; You will buy your honor with money - it’s a shame, brother, and a sin to do so. It is much better to make peace and say “guilty” to the one you offended, rather than to start litigation, for it is said: “Let not the sun go down on your anger” (Eph. 4:26). - Rather, make peace with the one you offended. It will be much better, and he himself will take back his request, and there will be less expense, and more honor, and there will be relief to the soul. Turn away from thoughts of exaltation Unworldliness comes from contradiction and ongoing disputes. Try as much as possible to avoid them, and rather to humble yourself and reproach yourself; God will look upon this and grant you peace in your small deeds and in all your weaknesses. When you repent of them and look after yourself, you will be accepted by God better than those who endured great labors and deeds with arrogance and self-esteem. – Reject proud thoughts, remember the word of God: “If you do all that is commanded, say, for we are unworthy servants; "Whatever you must create, you must create." We also transgress many things that were commanded to us; Of course, the enemy does not cease to bring thoughts of arrogance in order to defile our deeds, but we must turn away and remember that we are doing not with our own strength, but with God’s help. When we boast, we are deprived of God’s help and recognize our weakness. Sorrows are allowed because of pride. You write that because of your pride, strong and heavy sorrows are sent to you, you yourself realize what kind of pride it is, and we agree with this - so it is necessary to seek a cure for this illness in the opposite of pride, i.e. in humility, which is what St. Isaac the Syrian writes in the 79th Word that unbearable sorrows are sent to the proud - who is to blame for this? They themselves believe in healing in the same way in humility. And we advise you to look for this saving medicine, and, recognizing yourself heartily worthy of sorrows, accept them with patience and selflessness, no matter how you bear them. Thank God, who still spares you without sending greater ones, and in all your actions, see to it that the enemy’s seed - pride - does not act, but be respectful towards your neighbors and consider yourself the worst of all, then, although reproaches and reproach will come, if you consider yourself worthy, you will bear it more comfortably. And humility is acquired more when we do not follow our own mind and will, but according to God we listen to whom we have a disposition towards. Our fathers and mentors of our life wrote at length about this; delve into their writings, for example: St. Dorotheus, John Climacus and other saints who wrote about this virtue, how to acquire it and how to seek it. And you try to follow this, and the Lord will not leave you, and will ease your sorrow, and even console you, although you are afraid of your creditors and reprimands from them, but God is strong and can give them a compassionate feeling about you, and they will expect your debt. Reproach yourself, not your neighbors What I really don’t like about you is that you find other people, and not yourself, the cause of your sorrows. This strong blindness comes from pride, and therefore you do not find consolation and your sorrows are joyless. The Holy Fathers walked this path through experience and handed down this teaching to us, which is partly experienced by many in our times. - Read from St. Isaac the Syrian in the 51st Word and in St. Abba Dorotheus, about reproaching yourself and not your neighbor. In this you will find peace, for “The Lord looks upon the humble, but opposes the proud” (cf. James 4:6). If you don't put the blame on yourself, you won't stop being poor You recently visited us and heard about this many times, we find it unnecessary to write about what has already been written and verbally suggested many times. If you do not put the blame on yourself, you will not stop being poor, bearing the sorrow of God’s punishment for the proud. The enemy has captured you with pride and is making an obstacle for you, not wanting your correction. We leave it to your will to choose the best. “The Lord resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6) You write that you have not fully explained yourself to M. Arkadia, and yet you respect and love her, but cannot tolerate her reproaches. Why is this, if not from pride, which gives you no peace, torments you, torments you. When you explained your thoughts, you calmed down - you had to cast aside other thoughts from yourself. The same thing - and a good deed for you falls like a heavy stone on your soul, and this is also due to pride, for “The Lord resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble” (James 4: and 6). And in Wisdom he says: “Do not attack my proud soul, which was given to you, which it received from the hand of God and give thanks, but the other does not give back.” Your pretenses before M. Arkady are all known to her, and by doing this, you are deceiving yourself and God, showing frankness, but inside it is different, but there is such a notice about you. Try to correct yourself by asking for God's help. Since the imams fight with proud demons, it is necessary to counter them with humility. Although the enemy will fight against you through the cell, raising it up against you, this is allowed by the foresight and providence of God so that you can see your foolishness. You might be interested in: