Вопросы ученика (Павла Тамбовцева) и ответы старца

1. How should I act when, being in the circle of brethren, I cannot refrain from speaking, and when I speak, I offend someone with my words? – You must remember the pronouncement of St. This voice goes to the Church to God: set, O Lord, a guard against my mouth and a door of protection over my lips. Moreover, one must imagine that those who speak do this in a spiritual mind: they are worthy of this, but you consider yourself unworthy of conversation with them, and when they ask you, answer with reverence. When you get carried away by this opposite, repent and try to improve immediately. You must also behave in such a way that the brethren do not notice in you your excellence in correction. 2. What to do when I see free expression of thoughts in others and am tempted; just as in you, father, sometimes not seeing old meekness in dealing with others, I am also offended? - It seems so to you because of your inattention and lack of judgment. You should not condemn anyone, for you do not know for what purpose they do this, and for what purpose I act with anyone. Such actions are more likely to reveal the inner human character; and for those who breathe contempt, this is necessary. So you are not fair. Try to pay more attention to yourself, and not to analyze the affairs, treatment and actions of others. You came to the school of self-sacrifice to fulfill what was commanded to you, but you do not have the right to judge where, when, and with whom they do it. 3. I do not see love in the brethren, and for the study of any subject from the Holy Scriptures. I can’t find anyone to talk to in the Scriptures? - It can’t be that they don’t have love; This is how one should think and rightly conclude. If you don’t see love in them, it’s because you don’t have love in yourself. First show yourself the true traits of love, and then you will see that love dwells with them, and is stored abundantly for you. Moreover, we have God’s commandment to love our neighbors sincerely; but to seek love from them is not said anywhere. And what they cannot, or better yet, do not dare to talk to you from Scripture, you should not seek this with jealousy. Where they have humility, there is simplicity, and this Divine branch does not experience the destinies of God: it obeys only by faith and for the time being is content only with those concepts that faith reveals to it; that is, God will not test the novice about this: why he did not theologize, but why he did not pay attention to himself. God will not abandon them regarding salvation; if it pleases Him, He will reveal to them the secrets of His discernment; and reason, enlightened by the light of God, according to the measure of faith, is higher than any teaching: for naturally, reason invented teaching, and not teaching reason. 4. Why, during my five-year residence in the deserted monastery here, trying to do something about my own edification, do I feel, on the contrary, that I have really become worse, as evidenced by my imprudent actions, coldness of heart and lack of generosity? “Very rare people, in such a short time, flew with the wings of faith and virtues to the spiritual sky, felt in themselves unflattering pledges of hope, the betrothal of future glory. Very few, after long labors, felt a mysteriously consoling reward or flowers of sincere activity in the Lord, promising a gathering of fruits in the highest garden of Jesus Christ; and others have not felt this throughout their entire life on earth, and will not feel it, according to the look of the heavenly Patron - God, Who always provides best for us; for we, like infants in the consideration of the destinies of the World Ruler, often ask Him for such tools, which in their dignity and power are saving, but through our inexperience can be used by us to complete harm; why does the loving Father of Lights hide from some pious gifts, which are saving for some, but bring others closer to destruction. What would happen if God the Omniscient completely fulfilled all our desires? I think, although I do not claim, that all earthly creatures would have died. God, although he does not despise the prayers of his chosen ones, sometimes does not fulfill their desires, and only in order to arrange everything better according to his Divine intention. At the same time, it can be noted that those who live without attention to themselves will never be worthy of a visit from grace; and if, by the sole goodness of God, they are rewarded, it is already before death. But seeing oneself outside of prosperity is not yet complete failure of success. Such feelings can instill sincere humility in the heart; and when you truly have the consciousness that you are deprived of spiritual fruits, then try to relentlessly strengthen your desire for God. When we find ourselves deprived of virtues, and therefore have no opinion about ourselves, then this very thing can attract Divine charity, which will strengthen us with hope against the mortal spirit of despair. When we have not succeeded in virtues, then there is no closest means to salvation like humility. Arrogance even in the presence of virtues is repugnant to God: but a meek thought will not be forgotten before God. 5. Why did this arise, that I lost faith and reverence for your advice, that your edifications ceased to have an effect on my heart, and that everything seems inconvenient for implementation? – Faith is lost from suspicion, reverence from insolence; and the ineffectiveness of edifications on the heart occurs because you listen with some curiosity, think that I make strong transitions from subject to subject, and that I solve your questions in simple expressions. Abandon curiosity, keep moderation in boldness; believe that God guides you in the person of others; don't be arrogant; behave with simplicity of obedience, and then you will feel something completely different in your soul. If you do not have prudent simplicity, acquire it not by trusting yourself, but by the memory of your intention, what you came for, remember that heat, those dispositions of the soul that you felt at the very beginning of God’s visit to your heart, the sacred betrayal of the right hand of the Most High. For a true novice, with God's help, there is nothing that cannot be accomplished: true self-sacrifice will always feel the saving yoke light. If temptations do not exceed the gifts of God, then anyone who wants to be saved can do anything by the power of the Name of the Lord Jesus who strengthens all. And this is such a sacred truth that anyone who has any living faith will never doubt. For a lack of faith, even a speck of dust seems like a mountain, just as for a believer, rearranging the mountains of temptation is very convenient and easy. 6. How should I act when I am in the circle of the foremost Elders of our monastery, who sometimes mention such incidents among themselves in conversations that, hearing them, it is difficult to overcome laughter? – You should think about their words like this: I don’t understand, in my feeble-mindedness, at what end they say this; and without knowing their purpose, one should not laugh. If you accidentally and involuntarily smile, blame yourself, remembering the true testimony of St. Father, that nothing breaks the chain of virtues and love of the Gospel so much as laughter and ridicule. Just as the circulation of bad thoughts in the inner feelings deprives the presence of grace, so the exercise of laughter and the tendency to it removes the Guardian Angel; virtues are futile [if] each is associated with some kind of mental vices; the fence of prosperity is being destroyed, and the Savior of the world has appointed eternal sorrow to those who delve into laughter: “Woe to you who laugh now!” 7. How to get rid of unusually strong feelings of voluptuousness not only in a meeting with the female sex, but also at the mere imagination of it? – When you see them, you should protect your mind and feelings, especially not say anything without caution, trying to leave as soon as possible; and when imagining, holding thoughts. Abstinence is useful, or rather, prudent moderation; but first of all we must beg the Lord Almighty for deliverance from the attacks of this fiercest passion, for man himself will never eradicate it. But, with our will, the Most Merciful God extinguishes the gusts of this flame. 8. When my mind is forcibly dragged along by thoughts of voluptuousness, how can I get rid of their attack? - Go with your mind to hell, and through the mirror of the Holy Scriptures look at the carnivores. Do you really wish for the sweetness of temporary sin, eternal destruction? Remember that you are mortal. Humbly ask God, as the Conqueror of the passions, to reflect these mental arrows of the flesh - this enemy indomitably rebelling against the law of mind and spirit; for without the Most High we cannot do the slightest good. 9. What remedy should I use against thoughts that strongly attract me to condemn my neighbor, and especially the one who sensitively insults me, whose actions seem inconsistent with the title of Christ and impudent, and who also obviously insults other brethren; which, looking at and accepting participation in their displeasure, I become more irritated, unable to be peaceful; and not being at peace in spirit means carrying a burden that is harmful to your soul? – When thoughts appear that prompt you to condemn your neighbor for the offense he has inflicted on you, when the furious storm of thoughts rushes towards mutual revenge, compare the state of your grief with the former state of grief of the Savior of the world. This great Council Angel, the Son of God, being without sin, generously endured the greatest sorrows; Shouldn’t we, the more sinful people worthy of punishment, endure sorrowful cases? We must also blame ourselves more; in this case, with the weapon of self-condemnation we will fight the troubler of our spirit, the invisible Philistine, who is stealing the God-shaped ark of our soul. On the contrary, we must honor the one who insults us as our benefactor: he is nothing more than an instrument with which God arranges our salvation. Thus, we will consider those who offend us as benefactors, and when we begin to accustom ourselves to self-accusation, then we will imperceptibly succeed in internal accusation, then our heart, with the help of the Most High, can become soft and meek in the spiritual sense; man will become a receptacle of grace and spiritual peace. Then the soul will feel a peace that we, in a state of grief, feel or, better said, cannot taste. This world will enlighten the mind of the ascetic; the dawn of spiritual meekness will spread its rays onto the mind, the word, the intelligent feeling; then he can more easily repel evil, conquer and devote his heart to everything that is only saving. Displeasures will already seem joyful and pleasant. 10. When no holy thought or idea has any effect on a heart that is irritated or given over to insensibility, what should one do in order to soften oneself? – You must isolate yourself, force yourself to pray, to pour out your soul before God. When the waves of insensibility weaken somewhat, then look for the reason for such coldness. If it arose from any passion, remove it from yourself; and when this such sorrowful bitterness has arisen from impenetrable causes, then ask the Omnipresent to reflect with His grace all the causes of unbelief, the evil offspring of insensibility. 11. How is a cold soul warmed up? – The Word of God, prayer, a humble, grateful feeling of the heart towards God in all changes, not only the external state, but also the internal one. 12. Feeling in yourself not only the inclination, but also the very actions of vanity, and wanting to get rid of it, how can you succeed in it? – If you continue obedience with frankness, when you do not insistently persuade your elders to agree with your will in anything, and seek their favor towards you, if you completely cast down your insignificance before God, then by His almighty grace you can over time get rid of vanity. This passion often extends from youth to old age and to the very grave: it pursues not only the passionate and successful, but sometimes even the perfect; which is why it requires considerable caution. The dispassionate Creator can only eradicate it. ABOUT! since it is difficult to avoid this poison, which kills the fruits and the most mature virtues. 13. When I read the books of the Holy Scriptures, I note the most edifying sayings - should I do this, and is it useful? “My elder, whom, with the help of the Almighty, I obeyed for more than 20 years, forbade me to do this. The notes you have assigned inconspicuously give rise to traces of arrogance in the heart, traits of the most destructive pride. This is learned from experience. When the God of peace illuminates your memory with true light, then without any comments you will remember where it was written about and to what end. Reason, enlightened by grace, will point you to St. The Scriptures contain everything you need for your salvation; for although Scripture was generally given to us from God, as if it were some kind of guide to success, it nevertheless has its divisions; for example: what especially applies to authorities, what to subordinates, what to the elderly, what to middle and young age, what to monks, lay persons, spouses, virgins, etc. But just read the books, ask the All-Wise One to inscribe His holy will in your soul; and when you fulfill it with humility, then you will be wise and keenly mindful of the Lord. 14. Seeing a new brother being imprudent in some actions, or doing something indecent, should he be corrected? - If you are obliged to pay more attention to yourself, if you do not have the blessing of your boss and recognize yourself as subject to passions, then do not enter into those subjects and cases that do not concern you. Be quiet. Everyone stands or falls for his Lord. Try in every possible way not to be a seducer of your neighbors. Let the doctor heal yourself. 15. Should the cell rule be followed on Saturday? - It must, excluding holidays and those days on which there are vigils. Bows must be from the waist. 16. If, on the occasion of absence or some kind of obedience, I cannot have any other time for cell rule than [only] at the latest, what should I do? - If you are exhausted while away, then calm down; leave the rule, humble yourself, do not be embarrassed about it; and when obedience is moderate, try to fulfill your rule, and you will receive considerable benefit from it. However, do this until 10 o’clock; and when this time has passed, then, having read the evening prayers with attention, calm down, saying the Jesus Prayer until you fall asleep, so that you will be more ready for Matins and for the continuation of obedience the next day, if it pleases God to restore you safely. But this should only apply to novices. 17. I really want to correct myself, but I am always carried away by the desire of passions: what should I do to overcome them? - Desire, and God Almighty will give you according to your heart: for the beginning of virtues and the source is disposition, the desire for good in the Lord. A person cannot overcome passion by himself. This is the work of the right hand of the Most High, the action of Divine power. On our part, we must only directly preserve the holy will given to us from God, and according to it, make an effort to achieve dispassion in the land: and the Most High, without a doubt, will accomplish the feat of those who wish. So, if you want to rise from the grave of passions, then always have attentive thought, care, constant activity, and zeal about this. Trust in God, who is able to show His power in our weaknesses by His grace, and you will be saved. 18. How to get rid of scattered thoughts in prayer itself? – When praying with your lips, pray also with your mind, that is, enclose your mind in the power of the words of prayer. If you get carried away by thinking about any subject, then, feeling your imprudence in that, deepen your attention in prayer. Always do this and you will experience the benefits. Constancy of mind attracts special effects of grace. 19. I am greatly overcome by laziness; how to get rid of it? – If you hesitantly fight laziness, you will never defeat it; and as soon as you rise up against it with a firm intention, although not without internal illness, then with the help of God you can win victories. To repel, although to be persecuted, is the sign of a faithful and good warrior; but to always turn the backbone is only fitting for a lazy squire. A person must watch himself regarding this vice until his grave, so as not to hear on the last day the most terrible definition of the Heart-Master: an evil servant and a lazy one! The Scripture says: “to the one who overcomes,” and not to the one who conquers, because without the help of the Most High we cannot completely overcome the enemy—we can never gain any advantage over him. Only the one who wins is given the crown, and only the one who goes out to fight with a firm intention - to fight until his last breath and never leaves his weapon in the moment of the most terrible dangers, even being in involuntary captivity, does not betray his heart to the enemy. Such a one, although he is sometimes defeated, never weakens his sacred zeal, sacrifices himself unswervingly with a spirit of hope; and therefore whether he succeeds or does not succeed, he is crowned for his intention alone, as brave and worthy of heavenly honors. 20. How to get rid of the oppression of the spirit of despondency? “You are probably attracted to him by your own will.” If you leave self-discipline and begin every undertaking with God’s blessing, then with the blessing you will reap spiritual peace and other fruits of the Holy Spirit. If you completely abandon your will, you will never feel the oppressive darkness of despondency. The fiercest waves of passions will subside; in their place will arise: clarity of thoughts, silence of thoughts, meekness of spirit, unflattering peace, which will overshadow you and settle in your soul. If you maintain continuous attention and introspection, you will become like the wise virgins and enter the palace of the immortal Bridegroom. The groom is coming at midnight! Be careful that you do not burden your heart with despondency. Give glory to the Lord to your God, before it even gets dark. Come in the name of the Lord through self-sacrifice if you want to be truly saved. Dejection haunts everyone; even in great people it destroys the saving fruits of sobriety. But in a simple and true novice this should not take place. Whoever has denied himself with trust in God, why will he become depressed? In such an enemy, weapons will eventually run out. 21. I heard about the introduction of some brethren to monasticism, especially those who entered this monastery after me: I, equally wanting to accept the Angelic image, and not having the blessing of my superior, am very worried about this and complain, not achieving my goal. How can I regain the peace of mind that was lost through this? – Firstly, you must humbly and without further consideration submit to the will of God. The decision of the chief is the will of the Ruler of all; therefore, whoever does not obey the boss does not obey the will of God, which governs everything; and whoever does not obey the will of God, sadly exposes himself to the removal of grace, pernicious sadness of the spirit, disorder, disaster and all reckless undertakings. Those who were introduced to monasticism before you should probably be more worthy of veneration. If you wish to receive an external image of an Angelic betrothal, strive first to become an internal Angel; without internal monasticism, external monasticism alone will not save you. According to your intention and calling, imitate, in strength, the life of the ancient saints. Fathers, and believe that we are all governed by Almighty God. Consider the leader as the executor of His holy and insightful will, for he mysteriously bears the image of Jesus Christ. Having faith in this way, of course, you will not approach your boss recklessly. And do we dare to have an indignant spirit against the Lord Jesus Christ, when even with those who hate the world we are obliged to be peaceful, meek, and submissive? But I won’t talk more about this. If God looks at the heart and will, and looks at the deeds of everyone, if He sees all our future actions and the very end of life: then should there be any doubt that He, as the All-Good One, arranges everything better for us? God only delights - nature already loses its order: for His grace itself is, without a doubt, above all the wisdom and powers of this world. What God has proposed, no human council can destroy. Of course, God does not want you to be accepted into the rank of Angel. If you become worthy of it, then be sure that either before your death you will be worthy of it, or, with permission from the body, from the Angels, you will be presented to the Lord in the rank of monasticism. This is true, and if you have any faith in your soul that exceeds reason, then you can accept this, but if you do not have such faith, try to believe, and with St. Cry out with the Apostle Peter: “Lord, add faith to me.” God sees will. Take as an example the blessed Taisiya, who, having been an indecent woman, instantly, through one decisive self-denial, became a perfect nun. When she had the will to be the only servant of God, and with steadfastness she betrayed her heart to the leadership of Jesus Christ, and when, with such determination, sensual death befell her on the way, then her companion, the Venerable John, who turned her with the help of the Most High from the paths of debauchery to the saving path of repentance, to the greatest surprise saw with his pure soul how the Angels captured the soul reconciled with God into the unapproachable light Taisii. She had not yet reached the desert, did not know what monastic life consisted of, and was not clothed in the image of it that she desired; but through turning to God, contempt for the world and herself, she was instantly rewarded with the Most Merciful Judgment of the Lord and resettlement in the abodes of God not made by hands. Wasn’t that why she became a perfect nun? The secret will of the Most High mercy wanted to end her days in a moment of decisive will: and now one good thought of her is crowned on a par with the deed itself. God will not despise a contrite and humble heart. If you want to have even clearer proof of this, then look with the eyes of humility and faith at that novice who, for his good will and worthy life, immediately after burial was clothed by the Angels in the schema; what we see in the History of the Pechersk Sts. Fathers. But, alas for that schema-monk, from whom the court of God determined to remove the external image, as proof of his internal sterility! If you, in Christ, clothe yourself in the image of an internal monk, then do not worry much about the external image, although it is not a sin to desire this. The knower of the heart, who always builds the best for us, according to the measure of your faith and deeds pleasing to Him, will arrange for you too. Remember the Monk Pimen the Much-Sick. Many monks will turn out to be solely by choice, although in this world they could not, according to the fate of the World Ruler, be tonsured at the hands of mortals. The Monk Pelagia, as soon as she received enlightenment and came to know the true faith, began to desire to bear fruits worthy of repentance. Through the fortress of indescribable feats she became a Reverend, although she was not clothed in a mantle from men. The mantle means tightness, the promise of free poverty, purity, obedience and humility of monastic life; but the mantle of the inner vestment, predestined from the Most High as an eternal reward in heaven, is the most sacred laying on of the robe of the Holy Spirit. 22. Should we believe dreams that (apparently) vividly represent the future? - It shouldn't. At least they were real in their own way, for through the possibility of dreams many were deceived. The wise old man Theostirictus, who composed the Paraklis of the Most Holy Theotokos, trusting in dreams, was finally so seduced that he died. Therefore, he is very skillful who does not believe even the most lively ideas. 23. What does the next dream I saw signify, and does it contain anything worthy of belief? Maybe it doesn’t deserve attention, but am I obligated to reveal it to the Elder? I suddenly and instantly see a light so radiant that it was much greater than the light of the sun. From this radiant radiance came a loud and gentle voice, commanding, as if to subordinate beings: “Take him (i.e., me) to the cross.” With these words (I don’t know who) they took me, and stripping me of my clothes, they dragged me, as if mentally, to a cross, which I vividly imagined, and it seemed to me that it was made of pleasant, yellow building wood, sufficient to stretch me out crosswise on it. But who did this to me? Looking in all directions, I could not notice anything else except noise and the most rapid activity. When they lifted me to the cross, the actors said quietly but clearly: “Give me the nails.” They offered four nails, each no less than a quarter of an arshin, and then they began to nail my right hand to the cross with one of them. Here I felt the greatest pain, although I wanted in my soul to be crucified. Having such desires of my heart, I did not waver in spirit because of the pain and almost expressed with my voice the suffering I felt; but with the help of God, I don’t know how I managed to hold on. When the nail was stabbed into me, after a few minutes I felt relief from the pain, and then I almost didn’t feel it anymore. Then they brought another nail, similar to the first, and began to drive it into my left hand. Here, although I felt pain, it was only incomparably milder than the first. They brought me a third nail, which was intended to nail my right leg to the cross. Seeing how this nail was pointed at me, I was shaken in spirit and wanted to exclaim: “Have mercy!” - But being restrained by the exhaustion of my own spirit, feeling my lack of patience, which was followed, however, in my heart by a greater desire to endure, I turned my mind to Almighty God, having in my soul an inexplicable confidence that He would help me. With such hope, I mentally asked God for strengthening: I trembled, wanted to endure and was afraid of the penalty, consistent with the weakness of my fickle spirit. But indeed, the Merciful Lord, although he allowed me to feel a terrible illness in my entire composition, yet in His mercy amazingly strengthened me. They pierced a nail: I became very weak in spirit; however, having involuntarily endured the pain, I soon began to feel relief, then a moderate illness, or better yet, just weakness. They brought the fourth nail and with extraordinary desire they stabbed me into my left leg, so that I had no time to imagine or think anything. I suppose this was due to perceived weakness: but the pain at that time was average, so it seemed that it could be endured. Some time later, a second loud voice roared from the supreme Light, much clearer than the first, but all accompanied by the spirit of love, tenderness and benevolence: “Put a nail into him (as if pointing at me with a spiritual finger) into his very heart!” Hearing such a definition, and knowing my weakness, I was extremely indignant. My resolve wavered, clouds of terrible thoughts weighed down on me: my heart was either burning with desire, or numb with fear. Finally, the determination to devote oneself to endurance took over; all vague thoughts dissipated and my mind soared to God with a prayer for help. After this, as if feeling in my heart a promise from the Lord to give me help, with some trepidation, but along with love and gratitude to the strong name of the Heart-Knower, Who is the pain of hearts and all the news, I prepared to withstand the effect of the terrible sentence that flew out from the depths of the invisible voice. (All this was done so quickly that it takes more time not only to describe, but also to retell in words). They brought in the fifth nail, which was directly approaching my heart; judging by its size, it could pierce me right through, and it seems there would still be more than half an arshin left on both sides. While the nail was still approaching my chest, I was ready in the hope of Divine power; and as soon as I got completely close, I suddenly changed my intention and wanted to exclaim: “For mercy, what is this for?” It seemed to me that as soon as the decree was fulfilled, I would lose my life from an immense illness. They began to hammer the nail against my very heart, as if with hammers: I felt an extraordinary, so unbearable pain that my spirit was completely crushed. My soul, as if gathering into itself the defeated, weak forces, left me unconscious on the cross; and, having taken off from the body, was held for several minutes by some invisible and inexplicable creature. My eyes were deadened and rolled back. The head was bowed, I don’t remember which side. It was a terrible sight! The soul was in me, but it seemed outside the body; soon, however, it began to seem to me that I was only too exhausted, but my soul was in me. The illness began to moderate, and suddenly no trace of it could be heard. Instantly my eyes opened; but I felt nothing more than that I was on the cross. But my poor heart was delighted and filled with so much sweetness that neither a thousand great minds, nor I myself, who experienced it, were able to express that indescribable joy. This sweetness, I think, is a cup of offering of premium sweets from the Most Sweet Ruler of the World, our Lord Jesus Christ. It is only characteristic of Him to have this kind of stamina of manna, and, according to the incomprehensible mystery of His mercy, to bestow upon mortals. But what am I starting to say, crazy one, that expressing my whole life is not enough! Sorry! My heart rejoiced beyond words, and then my eyes, flaming in a peaceful spirit, fell down. I saw myself covered in blood, nailed to a cross. The sweetness delighted my spirit, traces of some kind of amazement remained in my heart, which awakened me from sleep. It is now one hour after midnight. So I came to you immediately. I am surprised, perplexed, rejoiced and horrified; my heart trembles without fear from traces of sweetness and surprise. Tell me, what does this extraordinary dream mean? – The Venerable Barsanuphius the Great writes that Jesus Christ the Lord Himself, an Angel and another person can be imagined by demons, not only in a dream, but also in reality: usually Satan is transformed into an Angel of light; but the cross of the Lord, - on the power of which, as St. sings. Church, the devil does not dare to look, for he trembles and shakes, he cannot look at his power - he cannot imagine. So the cross you saw in a dream foreshadows the greatest sorrow of any kind, and sweetness - intercession; The more ready you are, the easier you can bear it, as if you were prepared and not embarrassed, exclaims St. David. If you hesitate in grief, adhere to the rule: you were confused and did not speak. If your grief is excessive, remember the following: you have endured the Lord and listened to me. For the will of the Lord be done! Go, don't worry; God is faithful. (Several days after the dream I had, being informed of the unfortunate, violent death of my father, I asked the Elder): “I feel that my dream was a harbinger of real indelible sorrow, although I do not dare attribute it to this subject. The unfortunate death of my parent is for me a heavy cross, which I have seen: yes, I am now on the cross, whose illnesses will go with me to the grave. Imagining an eternity terrible for sinners, in which there is no longer repentance, I am tormented by the idea of ​​the eternal torment that awaits my parent, who died without repentance. Tell me, father, how can I console myself in real sorrow?” - Submit both yourself and the fate of your parent to the will of the Lord, all-wise, all-powerful. Do not experience the miracles of the Most High. Striving with humility to strengthen yourself within the limits of moderate sadness. Pray to the Most Good Creator, thereby fulfilling the duty of love and filial duties. But how to pray for such? - According to the spirit of the virtuous and wise: “Seek, Lord, the lost soul of my father, if it is possible, have mercy! Your destinies are unsearchable. Do not make this my prayer a sin for me. But Thy holy will be done." Pray simply, without testing, committing your heart to the right hand of the Most High. Of course, it was not the will of God for such a sad death of your parent, but now it is completely in the will of the One who is able to cast both soul and body into the fiery furnace, and who humbles and exalts, dies and gives life, brings down to hell and exalts. Moreover, He is so merciful, omnipotent and loving that the good qualities of all earthly beings are nothing before His highest goodness. For this reason, you should not be overly sad. You will say: “I love my parent, which is why I grieve inconsolably.” Fair; but God, without comparison, loved and loves him more than you. This means that you can only leave the eternal fate of your parent to the goodness and mercy of God, Who, if He deigns to have mercy, then who can resist Him? You might be interested in: